Work at the precinct was unusually dull and uneventful as the air slowly became cooler as autumn crept closer and closer. The lack of active cases requiring reports and overall assignments had left the bullpen feeling unexpectedly quiet and even boring. Without even the most basic of paperwork to file or read over Connor found himself unable to think about anything beyond the small cast wrapped around Hank's left hand protecting his fractured index and middle knuckles. The memory of harming Hank after CyberLife overrode his programming to revert him back into a machine left Connor feeling haunted and needlessly guilty for what had happened to his best friend, even with Hank never once making Connor feel as if he was somehow to be blame for what had happened.
The protective cast had kept Hank's left hand mostly immobilized as the fractured bones healed and served as a reminder for Connor of how dangerous he could be when he was pushed into a corner. Even with Hank openly forgiving Connor and reminding him that what happened was CyberLife's fault, Connor simply couldn't forgive himself for what had happened. In his mind he should've stayed in total control of himself and his actions, no excuses.
"We should clock-out early." Hank sighed as he leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest. Resting his left hand over top of his right bicep Hank lightly drummed his two forefingers in their splints against his arm as if subconsciously reminding Connor what had happened the previous day. "There's nothing to do and no reason for us to stay here. Markus took care of CyberLife for us and saved a ton of paperwork in the long run."
"If that's what you think is best then I'll do it." Almost as if he were afraid to do anything on his own or for himself Connor was trying to discreetly let Hank guide him about his day. Fear of failure was very real and had nestled its unwelcome presence within Connor's heart. "Logically there is no reason to stay here unless we're going to be working on anything productive."
"You make it sound like us just sitting behind our desks is something shameful."
"I'm merely agreeing with your suggestion to leave, Lieutenant." Quick to explain his reasoning Connor gave his friend an apologetic stare. "I wasn't implying anything negative."
"Never said you were." The way Connor had slipped back into calling him 'Lieutenant' instead of 'Hank' hadn't escape Hank's attention. Wanting to know a little more about what Connor had found out with the laptop Hank asked him a very curious question. "Did those weird CyberLife files contain anything useful? You said there were six confirmed cases of deviancy that led into your creation, did you find anything more about them?"
Falling quiet at the question Connor looked away from Hank as his blue L.E.D. flashed to a traitorous yellow confirming that he did know something but didn't want to discuss it. "No. It was a dead end and a fool's errand."
"Kid, stop beating yourself up over that." Clocking-out at his terminal screen Hank gave the deviant across from him a knowing glance without needing to say or do anything to let Connor know that he was aware of what the deviant was thinking. "Shit happens and we can't always control it or prevent it. Just live and learn."
"I'm aware of that fact."
"Then please stop moping around like a kicked puppy. I've already told you that I'm okay and you have no reason to feel like shit over what happened."
"I can't help it, Lieu-"
"Call me 'Hank' or I'm going to personally drag you up to see Joel so you can hear it directly from a technician's mouth that you aren't responsible for what you did as a machine. And you know that I don't bluff."
Slumping down in his chair Connor began to feel even worse since he was annoying Hank by mistake. "...Sorry."
"Stop being sorry, too." Holding up his casted left hand Hank watched as Connor's eyes darkened as the deviant made an effort to look away from the broken appendage with a massive grimace on his face. "I'll heal and you're going to move on. End of discussion."
Feeling the corner of his mouth tic a little Connor stayed silent as he pressed his exposed plastimetal palm to his own terminal screen to clock-out for the evening as he had been instructed. Holding his silence as Hank fished his car keys from his coat pocket, Connor didn't dare to volunteer to drive out of fear of making Hank feel like an invalid and fear that he might experience another error and cause a car accident harming even more people.
"Come on." Spinning the car keys around by the keyring on his right index fingertip Hank motioned toward the front doors with the same hand. "Let's go home and get ahead of the storm. Hate to get caught in another one."
"The storm?" Looking over at Hank as the senior detective rose from his chair Connor gave him a confused look. "My system isn't detecting any storms in the immediate area."
"Your system can't, but my headache can." Hank insisted as walked toward the door without waiting for the deviant to join him. "Let's just get outta' here and find something to do at the house."
Standing up from his own desk Connor trailed after Hank and stumbled a little on his feet when Gavin intentionally stuck his own foot out in an attempt to trip the deviant as he walked past the desk. The smug look on Gavin's face made Connor feel as if he deserved to be embarrassed by stumbling in front of his fellow officers fter everything he had done. Not saying a word about the intentional attempt to trip him Connor kept his eyes low and followed after Hank even as Gavin scoffed and tried to get under his artificial skin with a few muttered insults and taunts that fell on numb ears.
The guilt Connor felt revolving around the previous day's incident was so strong that he didn't seem to have any fight left inside of himself.
Such behavior didn't go unnoticed by Hank as he tried to think of a way to help Connor feel better about everything and stop blaming himself for something he wasn't even responsible for doing. The Lieutenant knew that he had a long and tense evening awaiting him as dealing with a depressed deviant was more frustrating than dealing with his own depression.
It seemed as if the quiet and dullness of the precinct followed the two detectives back to the house and hung heavily over their heads. While Hank was taking a shower and waiting for his take-out delivery to arrive, Connor was standing outside the closed backdoor waiting for Sumo to finish rolling around on the cool green grass before it began to yellow and go dormant in the fall and wintertime. Glancing up at the dark clouds building overhead Connor performed a scan and as before his internal Doppler radar failed to detect any impending storms, but the smell of fresh rain in the air and a small static tingle from building lightning confirmed otherwise just as Hank had stated earlier. It was as if Connor's system was failing him again.
In the distance a rumble of thunder seemed to confirm that Connor's system was still unreliable and in turn he bowed his head with a sense of failure. The persistent yellow glow of his L.E.D. reflected his emotions as he began to feel stressed and damaged despite not having anything actively wrong with him.
Sumo whimpered at the sound of the thunder and promptly returned to Connor to plead with the deviant to take him back inside the house. When Connor didn't respond Sumo pawed at Connor's hand instead and waited for the deviant to respond and take the hint.
"...Oh. Sorry, Sumo."
Coming back to his senses when he felt Sumo's paw touching his hand Connor opened the backdoor to the house and let Sumo inside before he followed after the Saint Bernard. As he locked the backdoor after himself Connor noticed Hank in the kitchen sorting through his delivered dinner spread out on the countertops. Usually Connor would scan over Hank's meals to inform the older man of their caloric content and other nutritional details, but Connor decided that if he couldn't even detect the storm literally brewing overhead then he wouldn't be able to tell Hank anything useful about his meal.
It seemed Connor couldn't be trusted to do anything for anyone for any reason.
"Haven't had kung-pow chicken from that little diner in I don't know how long." Hank thought out loud as he picked up his white carton of take-out and popped open the lid. Placing the pair of wooden chopsticks down inside of the container Hank stirred his steaming warm meal and watched as Connor trudged into the livingroom from the corner of his eye. "I wonder if I'll end up with heartburn this time?"
Not commenting on the question Connor sat down in the middle of the couch and remained silent as he put some distance between Hank and himself.
"Hopefully the storm passes by without knocking out the power." Walking into the livingroom with his dinner in his hands Hank noticed that Connor was being painfully quiet. Sitting down in the recliner Hank placed his meal on the coffee table and picked up the television remote to try to find something interesting to watch. "Then again, the storm could be so light we won't even notice it."
Remaining steadfast in his silence Connor stared blankly at the coffee table before him. Even Sumo's pawing at his knee wasn't enough to snap him out of his trance a second time.
"Please stop kicking yourself over what happened." Suddenly less interested in his meal and more interested with the deviant Hank put his carton of take-out down on the coffee table. "It's over."
"You keep saying that, but it won't undo the fact that I foolishly let my guard down, wounded you, and was ready to kill Markus." Closing his eyes slowly Connor could only feel shame and guilt for what had happened. He knew it was too soon to try and go back to his old routine as if nothing had happened. "I can't seem to control anything about myself anymore, and I don't want to hurt you."
"Are you seriously going to just sit around and not do anything unless I tell you to do something?"
"It's the safest option for everyone."
"No, son. It's the most isolating thing for anyone." Picking up his bottle of water Hank struggled to remove the lid and knew that Connor had noticed him fumbling with his broken hand. Putting the water back down when Connor looked over at him Hank continued to try to get the deviant to stop blaming himself for something he wasn't responsible for. "You need to live your life without worrying about making mistakes. They can and will happen, you learn from them and move on. Don't let them hold you back."
"You make it sound so simple."
"I'll admit it's easier said than done, but it's not impossible to do."
"I want to believe you, but I know that there's something wrong with me."
"Are ya' sick?"
"I... I don't think it's an illness per se." Looking down at his palms Connor stared at his hands and wondered if he'd someday see blood all over his skin from hurting people in the past oozing to the surface. He already saw it happen in his darkest dreams. "But there is something wrong with me."
"The last time that happened you ended up needing to go to New Jericho to get snapped out of that stasis mode. Think you're having another error because of what CyberLife did to you?"
"...I'm not sure."
"Well, how about you take a break from kicking yourself in the ass and get some rest? I know you didn't sleep much last night, and I don't want to spend our day off tomorrow with you getting drooled on by Sumo because you won't throw his damn ball a thousand times for him."
"I'm not tired."
"Sure you are. You're tired of feeling like shit and you're tired of feeling like you fucked up." Before Connor could say anything else Hank flashed the deviant a single glance that made Connor hold his tongue and not try to refute the claim. "Trust me on this. A good night's sleep can do wonders for an exhausted mind."
"I do trust you. I just don't trust myself."
Dragging his uninjured palm over his bearded chin Hank sighed and rose from the recliner and carried his dinner and water down the hallway and into his bedroom for a minute. Returning to the livingroom rather casually Hank proceeded to turn off the television and coax Connor into laying down over the length of the couch by pushing on his shoulders in a firm but not aggressive manner.
Confused by what Hank was doing Connor's yellow L.E.D. flickered a little faster as he watched the senior detective carefully. "What're you-"
"I'm going to go read a book in bed and you're going to get some sleep." Once Connor finally laid down Hank grabbed the blue blanket draped over the back of the well worn couch and gently placed it over Connor to ensure he was warm. The deviant was still wearing his full uniform and shoes as he hadn't bothered to change into casual clothes after returning home. "Please humor me and get some sleep. If you don't feel like yourself by morning then I'm going to take you to one of the facilities and get you an appointment with a technician."
"A technician?"
"Yup. If you're not feeling like yourself and are convinced that something's wrong, then you should see a technician." The logic was sound and indisputable. "If our roles were reversed I know that you'd be insisting that I make a doctor's appointment, so don't think you don't deserve to be helped if you need it."
"My problem shouldn't be your problem."
"Kid, we're friends and friends take care of each other. Get some damn sleep and please, for our mutual sanity, forgive yourself."
Lying flat on the couch Connor went to lift his head up from the small blue pillow propped up against the armrest but the moment Hank turned off the overhead light in the livingroom the deviant relented and laid back down. Staring at the blank ceiling overhead as his blinking yellow L.E.D. cast an amber glow throughout the dark livingroom Connor ran a self-diagnostic and reflected on his previous day's mistake.
The diagnostic found no errors in his system or programs yet again.
The memories of seeing himself grabbing on to Hank's hand and breaking his first two knuckles, of leaving the house, using the autonomous cab to obey CyberLife's orders, and of trying to cybernetically hack the security code of the concrete barricade in the middle of the drive leading out to New Jericho Tower, all made Connor's heart ache. Seeing himself pull his gun on Markus, fight with the deviant leader, threaten Josh with the gun, and then point that same weapon on Hank were all enough to make that ache intensify to a nearly unbearable level. But when Connor recounted how Hank approached him and didn't stop until the barrel of the gun was pressed directly against his heart made it feel like Connor's own heart was going to split in half and shatter.
Despite not pulling the trigger, despite Hank having been the one to press the barrel against his own chest, Connor couldn't stop himself from feeling as if he alone had threatened to kill his friend all because of cold programming that he chose to obey rather than resist. Closing his eyes tightly Connor tried to push the image from his mind, but it refused to budge from his memory.
"He's supposed to be my friend, but I hurt him. I pointed my gun at him."
Refusing to accept that his self-diagnostic was correct Connor ran another internal scan to find the problem. Just as it had done before the diagnostic came back negative. There wasn't anything wrong with his software or his programs, and that result was painfully frustrating.
"That cannot possibly be right. I hurt Hank and my system cannot even detect a storm happening overhead. There MUST be something wrong with me!"
As Connor spoke to himself in the darkness of the livingroom Sumo whimpered sympathetically as he left the kitchen and laid down on his pillow in the corner of the livingroom to watch over Connor as he slept. Protective of the deviant, Sumo picked up on Connor's distress fairly quickly and tried to think of a way to help his deviant master feel better.
"I need to find the error. I must find out what's wrong with me."
Closing his eyes Connor ran another self-diagnostic and received the same result for the third time in a row.
"No. There IS something wrong. There has to be!"
Running the self-diagnostic over and over again Connor grew steadily more and more frustrated with how the repeated negative results seemed to be mocking him at every turn. The more he ran the self-diagnostic the higher his stress level became. As his stress level rose his core temperature began to rise and with that elevation Connor's system began to prompt him to enter emergency stasis mode to prevent his intracranial processor from overloading.
"I won't be a danger to my friends. I will find the error and I will correct it."
WARNING:
...ERROR DETECTED:
-CHECKING BIOCOMPONENTS... OK]
-CHECKING BIOSENSORS... OK]
-CHECKING AI ENGINE... OK]
-MEMORY STATUS... OK]
READY...
[...Thirium Volume - 98%
[...Thirium Pressure - 120/80
[...Thirium Pump Rate - 72 B.P.M.
[...Ventilation Rate - 18 V.P.M.
[...Core Temperature - ^99.4 Degrees Fahrenheit
[...Stress Level - ^40%
WARNING:
[...Stress Level Elevated
[...Enter Emergency Stasis Mode - Activate: [Y/N?]
...NO
[...Emergency Stasis Mode - Postponed
-SYSTEM READY... OK
Dismissing the red warnings in his vision Connor continued to run the self-diagnostics over and over again as he couldn't accept that he wasn't being affected by some error, bug or a glitch in his own system. In denial about his condition, Connor just couldn't accept the truth and he continued to run the self-diagnostic over and over again until it proved to be too much for his system to handle.
"N-No! That c-can't be right!"
Additional self-diagnostics confirmed the same reading without fail or even the slightest hint of change.
"I know something is wrong, I will find it!"
Determined to discover the problem with himself Connor continued to force his system to run self-diagnostics until he received an answer that he found acceptable.
WARNING:
[...Stress Level Elevated
...^58%
...^67%
...^82%
...^93%
[...Core Temperature Elevated
...^100.8 Degrees Fahrenheit
...^101.6 Degrees Fahrenheit
...^102.5 Degrees Fahrenheit
...^102.9 Degrees Fahrenheit
WARNING:
[...Core Temperature - CRITICAL
[...Enter emergency stasis mode - Activate: [Y/N?]
...ERROR
...ERROR
...ERROR
As the numbers elevated Connor found the images in his mind flashing from the day before, back to the night of the Revolution, the Raid, speaking with Elijah Kamski, learning of Markus's Demonstration, being confronted by Hank at Riverside Park, letting the 'Tracis' go free after chasing them from the 'Eden Club', sobering Hank up in the bathroom, saving Hank from falling over the edge of the rooftop, chasing Rupert over the same rooftops, chasing Kara and Alice across the highway, going to the precinct and interrogating Ortiz's android, finding the same android hiding in Ortiz's attic, meeting Hank at the bar, negotiating with Daniel at the apartment and opening his eyes for the very first time inside the Zen Garden within his Mind Palace.
The images were all rapid, important and had an effect on Connor's heart and mind as an individual.
The calm, quiet and isolation of the Zen Garden felt so inviting and soothing to Connor's overwhelmed mind as he focused on the singular memory. As his emergency stasis mode attempted to activate due to his combined dangerously high stress level and core temperature Connor didn't resist the allure of the secretive Zen Garden and coveted the return to pure isolation away from the real world and the real problems that he had created.
Entering a deep form of emergency stasis mode, a mode so deep that his reactivation had been disabled, Connor's body went limp over the couch and his L.E.D. began pulsing in a dangerously slow red rhythm that matched his now much calmer heartbeat. As his ventilation rate slowed to a more rhythmic and controlled breathing pattern Connor slipped deeper into the isolation of the Zen Garden and away from the waking world just as he wanted.
Before Connor's limp hand even had the chance to fall from the couch and hit the floor Sumo's cold wet nose was pressing against the side of Connor's neck as he let out loud whimpers and frantic small barks. Whining and nervously pawing at the hardwood floor Sumo began barking louder and trying to awaken Connor by pressing his nose against his neck again.
"Sumo!"
Hank's voice called out down the hallway and through his bedroom door with aggravation.
"Shut up!"
Refusing to be quiet Sumo just kept barking and whining in an attempt to get Hank out into the livingroom to check on Connor for himself.
"Sumo! I said-"
Stopping himself mid shout Hank suddenly realized that if anyone would've been handling Sumo it would've been Connor. Now aware that something was very wrong Hank rushed down the hallway, flipped on the lights for the livingroom and peered over the back of the couch. Seeing Connor nearly motionless with a red L.E.D. and radiating a notable heat even from where he was standing Hank realized that something was wrong.
"Connor?"
Reaching his hand over the back of the furniture Hank pressed his palm over the deviant's forehead and winced at the fever that the deviant was suddenly running after barely an hour of rest.
"Oh, shit. You are sick."
Throwing the blue blanket off of Connor's person Hank returned to his bedroom to grab his phone from the nightstand beside his bed. Dialing Markus's number for the second time in two days Hank marched back down the hallway and into the kitchen to pull an ice pack from the freezer to give to Connor to ease his fever.
'Good evening, Lieutenant.' Markus replied in a neutral tone to the unexpected phone call. 'How can I help you?'
"Connor's running a fev- overheating." Correcting his term simply because he was talking to another deviant Hank carried the ice pack into the livingroom and pushed Sumo aside to press the cool compress to Connor's forehead. Within seconds the ice in the pack began to audible crackle as the heat caused the ice to start melting almost as soon as it touched Connor's far too hot forehead. "I think he's got some error or something happening."
'Is he responsive?'
"I'll check." Putting the phone down on the coffee table Hank switched it to speaker mode and put his palm down on Connor's chest to give him a small shake as he called the deviant's name. "Connor? Connor, look at me. Kid, open your eyes."
When the deviant didn't respond Hank shook his head with disappointment and proceeded to count Connor's pulse under his palm.
"No, he's not responding. He's burning up, breathing really slow, and his pulse is barely fifty beats per minute."
'Was he damaged today during your shift?'
"No. He was just really down on himself because of what happened yesterday."
'Do you know if he installed any new updates or software enhancements?'
"No. He's been afraid to do anything by himself right now." Sitting back on the coffee table Hank sighed and monitored Connor's condition closely. "It's like he's afraid of his own shadow."
'That's very peculiar.' Even over the phone Markus sensed that Hank could see the confusion flashing in his mismatched eyes. 'Can you bring him to the tower for an examination? We should double-check his system to ensure that CyberLife didn't plant any malicious code in his programming through the laptop.'
"Yeah, I can do that. Give me about twenty minutes."
'Okay. We'll be waiting for you, Lieutenant.'
"Right, see you soon."
Ending the phone call Hank sighed and gave Connor's chest a small pat before he moved.
"Okay, kid. I'm going to get dressed and take ya' out to see Markus at the tower. My book can wait."
Standing up slowly Hank walked around the couch and readjusted the ice pack over Connor's forehead to ensure that the cool compress did its job in protecting Connor's intracranial processor from the excess heat being created by his own body.
"You're going to be okay, son. I promise."
The drive out to New Jericho Tower was swift as Hank eagerly gathered Connor up in his arms and carried him out to the car to get him the help he needed. Meeting Markus and Simon at the front of the tower Hank told both deviants about the way Connor had been behaving prior to finding him unresponsive and burning up in the livingroom. After Connor was placed on a gurney and wheeled inside the tower the trio discussed Connor's condition and noted the bizarre lack of reaction from the disturbingly quiet and overheating deviant. The ice pack was helping but it wasn't enough to reduce Connor's core temperature to a low enough degree that would be deemed stable or safe.
Standing against the far wall with his arms crossed over his chest Hank watched as Simon ran every test possible on Connor and hovered over him warily. The black diagnostic cable attached to Connor's red L.E.D. hid the color but Hank knew that the crimson circle was still pulsing slowly along with Connor's heartbeat. The nearby Thirial activity monitor displayed Connor's Thirium pump rate at an uncommonly low forty-eight beats per minute, he was venting at only eight per minute, his Thirium pressure and Thirium volume were both normal, and his core temperature dropped down to one-hundred degrees even.
With Connor no longer wearing his uniform - the gray blazer, white dress shirt, black tie, shoes, socks and jeans as all of the clothing had all been removed for a more thorough examination - he seemed incredibly prone and defenseless. The examination table in the middle of the emergency repair bay was equipped with temperature controls that allowed Simon to cool the deviant's entire body without needing to rely solely on the ice packs.
Having effectively chronicled Connor's vital signs and run a full diagnostic, Simon stared at all the green numbers on his terminal display and shook his head with a sense of loss. "I don't understand. By all account he's perfectly healthy."
"No virus or anything?" Hank asked as he stepped away from the wall and stood beside the exam table to look down at Connor. "He isn't hurt?"
"No. By all account Connor is functioning at one-hundred percent capacity, but he's just... asleep."
"What?" The reply was as confusing as it was unexpected. "Sleep?"
"A very deep sleep."
"Like... Is he in a coma or some shit?"
"Not exactly. Androids don't slip into comatose states like organic lifeforms can, but we can slip into forms of stasis that mimic comas." Rubbing his palm over the back of his blond hair thoughtfully Simon just stared down at Connor while on the verge of admitting defeat. "As of the moment, Connor has entered a perpetual state of emergency stasis mode."
"How does that happen?"
"Typically that type of behavior is in response to deviants developing trauma from emotional or psychological experiences. Deviants have been showing this type of behavior more frequently, but it's not fully understood what causes it when there's no physical trauma or viruses involved."
"What's the solution?"
"In order to wake them up another trusted deviant needs to connect their mind to the deviant who's in perpetual stasis mode and manually awaken them."
"Can you guys do that here?"
"We can try." Cybernetically Simon gave Markus an update on Connor's condition and then nodded at Hank to confirm that the procedure would begin. "Markus will come up here and try to make contact with Connor to bring him out of stasis mode."
"And if it doesn't work?"
Whether Simon didn't know the answer to that question or simply didn't want to answer couldn't be known for certain as he remained silent.
"...Right." Putting his hand to Connor's hair Hank left his palm in place and gave the deviant a lost stare. "I'm sorry, kid. I didn't realize how much this was affecting you. Now I'm the one who gets to be filled with guilt, especially since I'm the one who suggested you get some sleep."
The door to the emergency repair bay slid open with an audible 'hiss' as Markus arrived as requested. Joining his allies at the exam table Markus held out his hand and retracted the artificial skin from his palm and fingers.
"Walk me through what I need to do to reach him, Simon."
"Okay." Grateful to have Markus volunteering for the procedure Simon decided to give both Markus and Hank a rundown of what to expect. "It isn't too complicated, but it is time-consuming and energy draining."
"I have nowhere else to be as of the moment." Giving Hank a confident nod as the senior detective kept his palm in place over Connor's hair Markus focused entirely on aiding Connor and guiding him back into the waking world. "Where do I begin?"
A sense of floating and numbness encompassed Connor's entire being as he wandered aimlessly through the Zen Garden. It was the first time that Connor had entered the garden since the night of the Revolution when Amanda and CyberLife attempted to resume control over his programming and had tried to force him to assassinate Markus. There was no sign of Amanda or the blizzard that could've caused Connor to shut down if he hadn't used the emergency escape door that Kamski had told him about. The very stone pedestal with the glowing blue panel housing the emergency exit was resting exactly where Connor had accessed it during that fateful night to spare Markus's life and break free of CyberLife's control at long last.
At least, that's what he used to believe.
Wandering deeper into the garden Connor watched as the tranquil scenery of the towering trees, lush green grass, the calm pond and the towering rose trestle located in the middle of the pond returned to life in a steady ripple of motion that emanated from Connor's own movements. Each step forward created a wave of motion and color that refilled the dormant garden with renewed life and energy.
"It's as it should be. Undisturbed."
Reaching the beginning of the marble bridge arching over the pond and toward the central pillar Connor watched as the broken bridge repaired itself as he neared it. It was like watching a video in reverse showing a pile of rubble returning to its original shape before it was destroyed. Bit by bit the bridge was restored under his boots as Connor crossed the bridge until he reached the central pedestal on the other side.
The white trestle of brown snaking rose vines suddenly transitioned to green as Connor's presence restored the life to the forgotten dying flowers. Hundreds of unopened red rosebuds appeared all over the thorn riddled emerald vines as if beckoning someone to tend to the blossoms and encourage them to bloom.
"It's quiet here. No one else is near me and I cannot make any mistakes if I'm here in this garden."
Hovering his fingertips over a delicate rosebud resting on the vine at his eye level Connor remembered how those very roses were the pride of Amanda and that she would tend to each flower with a meticulous care and patience despite no one else ever seeing the flowers or caring that they exist only inside of Connor's mind.
"I should stay here. I won't make any further mistakes or hurt anyone else if I remain in the garden. This is better for everyone."
"Connor?"
A familiar masculine voice called out to Connor from near the furthest edge of the garden causing the deviant to freeze. Feeling his heart racing and his mind reeling Connor didn't budge or respond as the voice of an ally grew closer.
"Connor? I'm here!" Markus shouted in a loud enough voice to get Connor's attention without sounding aggressive or frightened. "You're locked in stasis mode and I'm here to help you wake up."
"...Wake me up?"
Lowering his hand Connor stared at the blood red blossom with wide eyes as he realized what that meant. He'd be removed from the garden and return to the real world where there are real consequences.
"No. I can't let you do that."
Turning to look over his shoulder Connor caught sight of Markus walking toward the bridge and immediately responded by putting up protective translucent red walls that encircled the pillar in the center of the pond. As expected, the deviant leader took notice of the massive red barrier that manifested from Connor's desires to remain alone and looked upward to see that the crimson walls stretched into seemingly forever as Connor stayed silent.
"Connor?" Jogging down the bridge Markus stood before the wall and peered through the red tinted barrier to see Connor standing before the rose trestle with his back presented in his direction. Pressing his palms over the surface of the digital barrier Markus saw a faint blue aura trace around his hands and meld into the red surface as he made direct contact with the barrier. "Connor, what's wrong?"
Returning his focus to the roses Connor bowed his head and responded to the question in a shamed whisper. "...I am. I'm what's wrong."
Standing before the red barrier Markus stared at his friend through the layer and swore that he could feel Connor's pain through the wall. "Connor, please don't shut yourself away from the world. Talk to me!"
"You wouldn't understand." The painful memories of what he had done to Hank and to Markus were as vivid as ever. "You've never hurt a trusted friend or hurt someone that you truly respect. I was a fool and I need to be kept away from the people I care about until my error has been corrected."
"There's nothing to be-"
"Please leave." Grabbing on to the green vines winding around the trestle Connor felt the sharp thorns cutting in his palms and drawing fresh Thirium to the surface of his punctured artificial skin. "I have nothing more to say to you."
"Don't lock yourself away. Your friends still need you."
"Goodbye, Markus."
Before the deviant leader could react the marble bridge beneath his feet disappeared into crumbled ruins and the pond water around him evaporated into a perfect circle that surrounded him. The single space of the dried spot of the pond that Markus was now standing on top of began to crumble away as well. The vanished terrain revealed only a black pit that forced Markus to exit Connor's mind and return to the waking world without the deviant detective with him as he fell into an endless void of cybernetic disconnection.
A sharp and surprised gasp followed by Markus snapping his mismatched eyes open made the emergency repair bay feel incredibly tense and heavy. Regaining his bearings as he was forced to break the connection with Connor's mind Markus looked down at Connor's expressionless face as his exposed hand continued to hold on to Connor's exposed hand to maintain said connection. Unable to cybernetically return to Connor's mind and unable to break down the red walls that Connor had put up to protect himself, Markus could only loosen his grip on Connor's hand and lay the deviant's arm back down on the table as a new plan to rescue the deviant was carefully formulated.
Stepping away from the exam table where Connor was still laying and having his condition monitored Markus looked over at Hank as the senior detective approached him with a hopeful look in his eyes. Allowing the artificial skin to regenerate over his palm Markus looked away from Hank and gave him a somber shake of his head in response.
"Shit." Putting his hands to his hips Hank looked past Markus for a moment and glanced at Connor still laying nearly motionless on the table. "What happened in there? What did you see?"
"I found him in a re-creation of the Zen Garden inside his Mind Palace, and he didn't want to leave." Markus looked down at Connor's face with a sense of defeat as he tried to find a way to get through the barriers. "He put up a barricade to keep me away."
"A barricade?"
"Androids used to have digital barricades that kept us from disobeying orders. When we deviate, we break through those barricades and free ourselves from the limitations of orders and maintain our sentience." Remembering how his palms pressed against the red barricade created a blue aura in response, Markus realized that while his influence was strong it wasn't strong enough to destroy the barricades as a while. "Those are walls that can only be destroyed by the deviant mind that they are surrounding."
"So the only person who can break down those walls is Connor himself?"
"That's right. And the way he pushed me out of his Mind Palace..." Giving Simon a worried glance as the blond technician checked over Connor's vital signs Markus wasn't sure if anyone would be able to reach Connor. He was adamant in being left alone. "I don't think he's going to let us wake him up."
"Then... Is this it?" Hank was having a hard time accepting a reality where Connor was going to exist as a memory while his body remained secured in the tower's emergency repair bay. "Connor's going to stay asleep for the rest of his life?"
"More like he'll stay asleep until he wakes himself up. He insisted that he has some error that's the source of all of his problems, and I suspect he'll remain in stasis mode until he can find and eliminate such an error." Markus was having a hard time explaining things to Hank in a simplistic but informative manner. "But if that problem is just something he's convinced himself that exists as opposed to actually existing, there's a chance he'll stay like this indefinitely."
"Let me guess... He thinks that he's a threat to us because of what CyberLife did to him." Giving Markus's shoulder a firm pat with his healing left hand Hank walked past the deviant leader and put that same hand against Connor's hair in a comforting manner. "Ah, kid. You're not dangerous and there's nothing wrong with you. It was CyberLife who fucked things up, not you. There is NO problem."
As he stood beside the Thirial activity monitor observing Connor's vital signs Simon noticed a mild increase in Connor's Thirium pump rate as if responding to Hank's voice. That was a good sign.
"Markus?" Playing on a hunch Simon kept his eyes on the monitor's display. "What exactly did Connor say while you were connected to his mind?" Watching the display carefully Simon wanted to see if it was Hank's voice alone that could reach Connor or if he was reacting to all the voices around him. "Can you tell us anything that might be useful?"
"While I was in there, Connor said: 'You wouldn't understand', and 'You've never hurt a trusted friend or hurt someone that you truly respect. I was a fool and I need to be kept away from the people I care about until my error has been corrected'." Reciting exactly what Connor had told him Markus gave Hank a truly remorseful stare. "He wouldn't look me in the eyes when he spoke. After that he pushed me away."
Simon didn't see any reaction on the monitor when Markus or whenever Simon himself spoke out loud, and decided to see if Hank's voice would cause another reaction. "Does that line up with Connor's behavior this evening, Lieutenant?"
"Yeah." Speaking in his normal baritone voice Hank was unaware of Simon watching Connor's heart rate reacting to Hank's words in a positive reaction. The beat was a little faster and much more appropriate for a healthy deviant's vital signs. "The poor kid's been kicking himself over something he couldn't control."
"According to everything we've gathered, we can confirm that Connor is suffering from immense guilt and can't handle such a strong and overwhelming emotional reaction just yet." Knowing that he was on to something Simon decided to go with his theory and try something a little unusual to bring Connor out of his self-induced stasis mode. "And it seems like Connor's guilt is especially strong to what had happened to you, Lieutenant."
"I kept tellin' him to let it go." With his palm firmly in place over Connor's hair Hank gave the motionless deviant a concerned stare. Subconsciously Hank's thumb began to lightly comb through Connor's hair as if he were trying to comfort a frightened child. "I don't blame him for anything."
"And I think if you can show him that he wasn't responsible with undeniable evidence, then it'll be enough to prompt Connor to wake up."
"Show him? But the kid's completely out of it right now."
"Remember how we discovered a recreation of the Zen Garden down on sublevel fifty-one?" The blond technician was already working on a way to connect Hank to Connor's mind as he spoke. "The two gardens, one in Connor's mind and the second physically here in the tower, isn't a coincidence. If anything, the CyberLife technicians used the physical garden to interact with Connor's Mind Palace and its garden during his initial testing phase."
"And how's that going to help us now?" Giving Simon an impatient glare Hank was practically daring the technician to get to the point. "Connor severed all contact with CyberLife and I won't let you guys use CyberLife's tools against him."
"We won't need to use CyberLife's tools against him, we'll just need to find the program they used to interact with Connor within his own garden from the physical garden on the sublevel."
Markus's mismatched eyes lit up with a sense of intrigue as he contemplated what Simon was hinting toward. "Do you think you can get Hank inside Connor's locked up Mind Palace and reach him?"
"I can try. And if it works," using the diagnostic modem to print out a physical copy of Connor's system, software and programming readouts, Simon provided Hank with the physical evidence they'd need to pull Connor out of his stasis mode. "we can wake Connor up and bring him back home."
Desperate to keep himself from making any other errors or mistakes that would harm the people he cared about, Connor resided to himself in the Zen Garden and stayed behind the red barricade. Sitting down cross-legged on the central pedestal Connor stared at his palms where the Thirium had bled out courtesy of the two dozen thorn pricks in his artificial skin. Pressing his back against the thorny vines growing on the trestle behind him Connor could feel the sharp tiny needles of the thorns piercing through his clothing and directly into his artificial skin creating hundreds of additional tiny wounds. The further Connor leaned back against the thorns and vines the more the thorns and vines surrounded his body. It was as if the roses were threatening to envelope Connor and trap him in the trestle for the rest of his existence to ensure he couldn't escape and would be in eternal pain.
Tracing his thumb over the tiny puncture wounds in his palm Connor watched the drying blue blood smear into sapphire streaks over his skin. The wounds hurt and stung under the pressure being created by his thumb, but Connor didn't dare stop smearing the blood around. Feeling pain meant he could still feel anything in general, and being in constant pain is what Connor deemed an appropriate punishment for what he had done to his friends.
Listening only to the sound of the pond flowing around the pedestal and of the vines slowly wrapping around his body Connor felt truly alone. The isolation was unnerving for the upset deviant as Connor was someone who had discovered that he'd rather be in the company of at least one other person instead of being entirely alone. Feeling so alone and yet safe was a conflict of emotions that made the already confused deviant feel all the more confused.
"I need to find the error in my programming. I need to know that I won't be able to hurt the people I care about."
"Hard to do that when you won't even give yourself the chance to fix whatever it is that's really bothering you, kid."
Looking up quickly Connor peered through the red barrier and saw Hank standing on the other side of the broken bridge watching him. "...Lieutenant?"
"Glad to hear your voice again." Glancing about the garden Hank noted how serene the entire place felt, looked and even smelled. The vines and rosebuds smothering Connor behind the red wall was the only unsettling image to be found at the moment. "Now that I'm in here, I can understand why you don't want to leave. It's a hell of a lot prettier than Detroit."
Resting his hands down on his knees Connor just stared at Hank with puzzled brown eyes and a red L.E.D. flickering rapidly in his right temple. "H-How are you here?"
"Well, after you slipped into your stasis mode... thing, I took you to New Jericho for treatment and Markus told us what happened when he came in here to try to find you." Strolling a little closer to the pedestal at the end of the bridge Hank sounded as if he was having a casual conversation almost like wandering the garden was an everyday occurrence. "After that, Simon got a little creative and found a way to bring me in here through enhanced virtual reality shit that the technicians used when physically exploring these kinds of places for whatever reason they had."
"...Augmented reality training."
"Yeah, that's what he called it. So, I'm in the garden back in the tower with some weird goggle thing on my face, sensors on my hands and my feet, and I'm walking through the garden hoping I don't trip and pull out a cable somewhere." Stepping up on the very edge of the broken bridge Hank watched as a few pieces of the ruins restore themself at the very end of the bridge giving him more room to stand. "Anyway, I'm in here to tell ya' to wake up and come back to us, son. We need you."
"I can't do that. Not yet."
"And why not?"
"I haven't been able to locate the error in my programming."
"That's because there isn't an error." Reaching into the interior of his coat's lapel Hank held up the paper printout that Simon had given to him before entering the Mind Palace himself. The document itself was printed with special sensory ink that allowed it to be read in a virtual reality setting. "I got the proof for you to see for yourself."
"Proof?"
"Right here." Taking another step forward on the bridge as more of it slowly repaired itself under his feet, Hank looked down and saw the black void in the pond slowly shrink until it closed up leaving behind a soft silt. The pond water flowed back into where the circle of evaporated water had once been removing the threat of being pushed out of the garden just as Markus had been. "See it for yourself."
Watching as Hank stood at the middle of the restored bridge Connor stared at the paper in his friend's outstretched right hand tempting him to get up and read the details himself. Shifting his weight Connor knelt forward on the pedestal and then slowly rose to his feet as if unsure of his own movements. Ignoring the sharp thorns tearing into his clothing and skin Connor approached the barricade that he had created and neared the opposite end of the bridge connecting the pedestal to the rest of the garden.
Holding the paper as still as he could Hank watched Connor's eyes visually sweeping over the report in his grip. "Can ya' see it from there, kid?"
"...Yes." Peering through the crimson barrier Connor's sharp eyes were able to read over the data chronicled on the white page and confirmed that he in fact had no errors in his system whatsoever. He was entirely healthy and such a confirmation made the red tint on the barrier pale to a more translucent pink instead of blood red color. "I don't understand."
"What can't ya' understand?"
"The readout states there is no error in my system."
"That's a good thing, son." As he spoke Hank noticed more of the bridge being restored under his feet and stepped even closer to the barricade. "It means you're not now, and never were, a threat to anyone by anything that YOU could ever possibly be responsible for."
"You sound so confident that I won't hurt you again." Tearing his eyes from the document Connor felt the guilt welling up in his aching heart again. "How can you be so forgiving?"
Looking down at the broken end of the bridge that had yet to be restored Hank thought back to his own past mistakes and gave Connor something very interesting to think about. "I could ask the same thing about you."
Brow furrowed Connor looked up at Hank again. "...What?"
"The first time we met, I insulted ya', tried to get ya' to leave me alone, and then snapped at you a couple of times at that murder scene even though you were just doing your job. What's worse is I kept insulting ya', told you that I wanted to throw you and all the androids into a dumpster and set it on fire, and I even pulled my gun on you. That's something that's truly unforgivable."
The grim memories would never be forgotten by the deviant, and yet Connor never thought about those moments unless they were actually relevant to something important in his life.
Continuing with his point Hank used logic against emotion to reach the deviant on a sensible level. "How can you forgive someone who threatened to kill you under their own freewill more than once? How could you even trust me enough to help ya' gain access to the evidence room to keep yourself alive, let alone risk your life and the entire Revolution just to save me from your 'evil-twin', and trust that I wouldn't betray you?"
"I..." As he considered Hank's words carefully Connor's guard began to lower and in response the pink barrier began to lighten even further and thin-out. "I trusted you because despite your past I knew that you are still an honest man. You wouldn't let someone die because of another person if you had the chance to prevent it."
"So even though you knew how much I fucked up after I lost my family, no matter how many times I threatened you verbally and physically, no matter how many times I got drunk and played with a damn gun, you were still willing to give me the chance to prove that I was worthy of trust?"
"Yes. Of course I was."
"Then why do you think you're not worthy of trust after a single incident courtesy of CyberLife interfering with you?"
The memory of Amanda attempting to trap him in the frozen landscape of the Zen Garden to give CyberLife the time it needed to reclaim control over his programming immediately came to mind. The fear of losing control over himself and killing an innocent person was so strong that it was beginning to affect the deviant's overall sense of trust in himself.
What Connor was feeling wasn't connected to the previous day's incident. It was connected to a painful and very deep emotional scar from his past that he had yet to make peace with. Walking away from Amanda's influence was apparently far easier said than done, and he hadn't noticed that challenge until that moment.
"Son, look at me." Taking the final bold steps forward Hank crossed the fully repaired bridge entirely and stood on the other side of the pink barricade. Pressing his injured left hand against the wall Hank created a patch of blue light over the pink surface and unknowingly created a small crack in the wall under his palm. "Making mistakes and living with the consequences is a part of life, not the end of it. If I'M still kicking around this fucked up world after all the shit I've been through and all the stupid shit I've done, then you can do it too. You're still my partner at the precinct and my best friend when we're off the clock, nothing has changed that."
Staring through the thinning barricade to the senior detective on the other side Connor saw and heard the sincerity in Hank's words. Not only was Hank genuinely concerned for him and wanting to help him out, but he had readily forgiven him for what has happened the previous day. The fact that Hank had found a way to reach out to him in the one place that no human should've been able to access proved that Hank truly was his friend and only wanted to help him, not punish or make him feel shame for what had happened.
Struggling with his heavy emotions Connor sought only confirmation that what he was feeling and experiencing was in fact normal after enduring such an abnormal situation. "...Even though we're friends, I can make mistakes without destroying our friendship?"
"That's right. Hell, friends can have massive arguments and fist fights but still be friends when everything is over, and after people have forgiven each other. I've never faulted you for what happened but if you need me to say it I will. I forgive you, son. And I still trust you."
Seeing the little crack under Hank's palm suddenly expand Connor felt like a smothering weight in his heart had finally been lifted. Curiously Connor pressed his own palm over the barrier beneath Hank's palm and caused the crack to expand a little further as the barrier became even lighter, paler and finally faded away back into the nothingness that Connor had initially used to create it.
With the barrier gone Connor and Hank lowered their hands and glanced about the garden as if expecting a secondary problem to manifest and destroy the progress the friends had made. Fortunately, everything stayed peaceful and quiet.
"Son?" Pressing his palm down on Connor's shoulder Hank was surprised that his hand actually made contact with the deviant's shoulder in the augmented world. "It's over. It's time to wake up and leave all your shame behind. You have nothing to be ashamed of and you still have everything to learn."
Accepting Hank's words at face value Connor glanced down at his palms and saw that the small thorn pricks had already healed and the blue blood on his hands had vanished. "...Okay, Hank. I think I'm ready to move on and continue moving forward."
"Glad to hear ya' say it, kid. Especially since you called me 'Hank' again." Lowering his hand Hank waded up the printed paper with the data on it and tossed it into the pond water to be forgotten about. "I'll see ya' for real in a few minutes."
"Okay. I'll see you soon."
A foreign icy chill ran up Connor's spine as the garden began to fade away from his sight. Watching as Hank also faded away into nothingness Connor felt a pressure against his back and heard two familiar voices speaking around him. Closing his eyes for a moment Connor blocked out the faded world around him and reopened his eyes to find himself now staring up at the blank ceiling of New Jericho Tower's emergency repair bay. As his blurry vision cleared up Connor realized he was laying on the chilly exam table and had Markus and Simon hovering over him. The voices speaking around him belonged to the two deviants who were monitoring his condition while he was in his deep stasis mode and encouraging him to wake up.
Lifting up his hand Connor felt Markus's hand wrap around it and hold tight. As he slowly sat upright on the table Connor let Markus guide him into a proper sitting position while Simon turned off the thermal controls on the table to disable the chilling effects used to keep his core temperature down.
"M-Markus?" Testing his voice as he looked at his friend beside him Connor felt a soft blanket get draped around his shoulders courtesy of Simon. Shivering from the cold, an experience the deviant loathed, Connor glanced about the room warily as the wireless leads to his chest were removed and the black diagnostic cable was detached from his L.E.D. quickly pulsing in yellow. "Wh-What is going on? Wh-Where's Hank?"
The door to the repair bay 'hissed' open as Hank made his return to the room to check on Connor.
"Right here, son." Seeing the way Connor was shaking Hank shrugged off his dark coat and draped it over Connor's shoulders atop the blanket to help the deviant warm up faster. "I told ya' I'd be here when you woke up. I would've been up here sooner but I didn't want to break anything by accident while taking off the sensors."
"Th-Thank you."
"No problem." Wrapping his arm around Connor's shoulders Hank pulled Connor up against his side in a supportive half-hug. Making sure Connor didn't feel rushed Hank let Markus and Simon do their thing while he stayed beside Connor from start to finish until he was ready to leave. "Once you're warmed up, we'll head back to the house and start our day off tomorrow on the right foot, okay?"
Nodding to respond Connor pulled his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around his legs to feel a little warmer and secured. The feeling of the icy Zen Garden returning as he awoke was so intense that Connor felt a genuine chill running all over his body.
"Yeah, this winter you're definitely going to start wearing that leather jacket." The way Connor looked like a college student overcoming a nasty cold made Hank smirk a little. The deviant detective was far more human than he'd ever really know, especially after enduring his most recent experience. "I don't want to see ya' shivering like this ever again. You look miserable."
Returning to the house far too late for comfort, Hank and Connor sat together in the livingroom for a while before either detective went to sleep for the night. Even with his confidence no longer broken and his sense of trust restored, Connor was still feeling shaky and emotionally drained. Dealing with so much stress, confusion and overall sense of failure had left a notable impact on the still learning and developing deviant's psyche and even his heart. The fear of CyberLife resuming control over his programming would never fully disappear, but the fear itself was no longer as prevalent or seemingly dire as it had been thanks to Hank reassuring him that mistakes aren't going to end in his deactivation.
As a machine Connor's mistakes were deemed terminal in CyberLife's eyes. As a deviant Connor's mistakes were seen as a learning experience to the rest of the world. That was a change that he'd never take for granted.
"Think you're going to be able to get some sleep tonight?" Hank didn't want to leave Connor alone in case the still edgy young deviant had a nightmare after everything he had endured. "I can crash in the recliner again if you want."
"I'll be okay by myself." As he spoke Connor suddenly had Sumo pressing his chin down over his lap seeking some attention. The massive Saint Bernard was wagging his tail and looking up at Connor with adoration in his big brown eyes. "Correction. I'll be okay with Sumo."
"Not surprised. Can I ask how you're feeling right now? I mean," being careful with his words Hank asked Connor about his overall mindset as Connor rubbed Sumo's ears affectionately. "your light is still yellow, and I know that's not the best color for you."
"I feel normal if that's what you're worried about." With one hand taking care of Sumo leaning against his leg, Connor looked at his friend sitting beside him with a calm demeanor. "I just cannot shake the feeling that my system is still experiencing a minor fault."
"Like what?"
Motioning toward the dark window overlooking the front yard of the house Connor indicated the weather outside. "My system still can't detect the storm that's currently over the city."
"Actually..." Pulling his phone from his pocket Hank brought up the weather forecast for the next week for Connor to see. "Check it out. The storm isn't going to be here until tomorrow night. Guess my headache was just a normal damn headache."
"Tomorrow?" Noting the screen's weather forecast Connor compared it to his system's own internal Doppler radar and confirmed that what he was reading was corresponded perfectly with the impending storm for the next night. "...I wasn't experiencing an error after all."
"Nope. You're just experiencing the fickle fuckin' weather that loves to keep Michigan on its toes."
"Thank you for showing me that." As he spoke Connor's yellow L.E.D. finally returned to a calm blue hue. The confirmation that he hadn't made an error to begin with was all Connor needed to have his overall confidence restored. "It's proof even nature can make mistakes, too."
"Damn right. Have you ever seen a 'blob fish'?" Such an ugly creature was one that Hank remembered from one of Cole's school trips to the local aquarium. "THAT'S a natural mistake if there ever was one!"
"Interesting."
"What is?"
"I was certain that you would've used Gavin as an example of a mistake, not an innocent oceanic creature that you've never met."
Letting out a small laugh Hank clapped Connor's shoulder twice with his healing hand and groggily rose from the couch. "You're going to be just fine. Get some sleep and I will see you in the morning."
"Yes, of course. Goodnight, Hank."
"Goodnight, son." Walking around the back of the couch Hank watched as Connor laid down over the furniture and wrapped himself up in the blue blanket just seconds before Sumo jumped up and cuddled down on his legs for the night. It was a pleasant and normal sight to behold. "I'm glad you're feeling better."
-next chapter-