Chapter 4: Happy Mask

A few days passed, and they were still no closer to figuring out what had happened to Ran. Shinichi was starting to get anxious. every time he saw her, his gut twisted painfully, so he'd adopted the habit of only looking past her, or at her shoulder. It didn't help much, though, so he avoided her whenever possible. On the third day, the professor pulled Shinichi aside.

"I don't mind you staying here," he said quietly, "but won't it start to look suspicious if Kudo Shinichi doesn't stay in his own house?" Shinichi gave him a flat look.

"Kudo Shinichi is supposed to be dead, remember?" He crossed his arms. "Besides, I haven't been staying at my house for months."

"Yes," said Haibara, coming quietly into the room, making him jump. "But someone who looks like you is actively staying next door. People will start to notice, and unwanted attention will be pointed at us." She fingered the edge of her jacket. "It might be better for Ran-san to stay in your house, to keep curious eyes away. It won't look strange, so people won't talk. And if people don't talk, the crows can't hear about it." She gave him a sharp look. "You're too distracted If you haven't figured that out." The hairs on Shinichi's neck bristled at the insinuation.

"I'm not—" He stopped, letting out a sigh. "…Fine. What about Subaru-san?"

"You're the one who put him there, remember? That's your problem."

Shinichi sighed again and nodded. Even though he suspected Subaru— or rather, Akai— already knew who he was, he also knew the man wouldn't ask any questions unless it affected his safety. Ran would be safe there, even when he came back from wherever it was he went.

"I'll tell her this evening," he said finally. Haibara gave him a measuring look, but only nodded in approval, saying nothing. There was a ringing at the door, and Agasa Hakase left to answer it. A big commotion at the door had Shinichi wincing.

"Ahh! Conan-kun! Ai-chan! Why aren't you ready? We'll be late for school!" Ayumi's shrill voice grated on his ears.

Crap, I forgot… School's back in session… he thought absently.

"We won't be late," Haibara reassured her, heading over to the doorway. "You came a bit early, after all."

The Detective Boys pooled into the house to wait for the two shrunken teens to prepare. Ayumi looked curiously into the living room where Ran was resting. Her brows pinched together, and she whispered something to Genta and Mitsuhiko, who looked over at Ran as well.

"Isn't that the niisan that lives next door?" asked Mitsuhiko quietly as Shinichi approached. "What's he doing over here? Shouldn't he be in school?"

"He looks really sick," said Ayumi, a worried lilt to her voice. Shinichi glanced at the object of their discussion and let out a nervous laugh.

"He's just really worried about Ran-neechan, since we haven't found her yet," he said, ushering them out the door. "He's taking time off from school to help with the investigation." It wasn't exactly a lie. Mitsuhiko nodded enthusiastically.

"With him looking, they're bound to find her in no time."

I wish it was that simple, Shinichi thought as Haibara sent an amused smile his way.

School seemed to last forever. Shinichi kept glancing at the clock, waiting for when they could get out and go back home. He was so distracted that he was genuinely shocked when the teacher reprimanded him for spelling a simple kanji wrong. It didn't help that Haibara seemed to find this all amusing. She kept sending cynical smiles his way anytime he slipped up during class. When the bell finally rang, he couldn't get out quickly enough, much to the chagrin of the detective boys.

"Conan-kun, why are you in such a hurry?" asked Mitsuhiko as Shinichi flung open his shoe locker and snatched his shoes out of it.

"I've gotta get back to the professor's," he said without looking at them.

"Why don't we all go?" asked Ayumi eagerly. "We haven't hung out in so long!" Before Shinichi could snap at her, Haibara calmly spoke up.

"We can hang out tomorrow," she said. At Ayumi's distress, she added, "Agasa Hakase worked too hard yesterday, so he can't chaperon us while we're there."

"What about that Shinichi-niichan? He's there, right?" Haibara shook her head.

"He's busy looking for Ran-san, remember? He was only there today to check in with the professor for possible updates." It was believable enough, so the kids grudgingly dropped the issue. They said their goodbyes and parted ways.

"… Thanks," said Shinichi quietly. Haibara turned away from him.

"Even if I enjoy seeing you uncomfortable, it wouldn't do for them to talk to her and realize something was off," she said. Shinichi sighed.

"A simple 'You're welcome' would've sufficed," he grumbled. She smiled, but didn't respond.

When they got back to the professor's, before going in, Haibara grabbed Shinichi's arm.

"Remember," she said, "that you must convince that girl that she needs to stay at your house," Shinichi yanked his arm from her, scowling.

"I know that," he hissed. "What do you think I was doing all day?"

"Oh, were you doing something besides making errors today? I hadn't noticed." She smiled again, and it felt like spiders crawling down Shinichi's back. He shoved past her and opened the door, still trying to think how best to approach Ran, flipping through the ideas he'd come up with during class. He settled on one and headed for the living room, spotting Ran on the couch as he rounded the corner. He took a deep breath and ventured into the room.

"Ran-neechan?" he asked sweetly. She looked up.

"Oh, Conan-kun. What is it?" He frowned a little bit as he searched for the words.

"I was just thinking," he said as innocently as possible, "that staying here might not be so good for you." Her eyebrows shot up.

"But why? Where else can I go?" Here it comes.

"You could stay at Shinichi-niichan's house."

"What?!"

"Think about it," he said before she could protest. "You look like Shinichi-niichan right now, right?" a nod. "So," he continued, "the neighbors are gonna notice someone that looks like Shinichi-niichan staying in someone else's house. They might call him, and ask why; which undoubtedly will bring him back here to see what's going on." Ran stared at him in horror, terribly conflicted at staying in his house or risking him coming back to see her like this, despite the fact that he was here now. It left a bitter taste in his mouth.

"I—" she choked. "W-what…" Her eyes teared up as she struggled with the decision. Finally, she slumped forward in defeat.

"…Alright," she said quietly. The guilt clawed painfully at Shinichi's chest.

"I'll stay there, too," he offered. She sent him a grateful look, brow still bent with worry.

"Does Agasa Hakase think so, too?" she asked. He nodded. She sighed and got up from the couch and followed him back to the door.

"It'll be better than sleeping on the couch," said Shinichi in an attempt to cheer her up. She nodded as they walked next door. She hesitated at the gate, looking up at his house, before following him inside. He led her to one of the guest rooms. He'd played with the idea of making her stay in his room so Subaru wouldn't get too suspicious when he got back, but he knew she'd flat out refuse, no matter the circumstances.

"You can use Shinichi-niichan's pajamas," he suggested. "He won't know if we clean them and put them back before we fix everything." Her face went pale, the dark circles under her eyes seeming to grow darker, but she didn't protest. He left her there to get used to it while he ventured into his room to fish out pajamas for the both of them.

He looked around his old bedroom and sighed. He wouldn't' be able to sleep in here. He contented himself on actually getting to stay in his own house, even though it brought back the ache of longing to be himself again. He shook his head and strode over to the closet.

He pulled out a pair of pajamas he'd bought just before the unfortunate day at Tropical Land, his chest tightening. He never got to wear them, which meant Ran hadn't seen them. He hoped she'd feel better about that. He pressed further into the closet, looking for a box of his children's clothes. Most of them were at the detective agency. He did find a box of his eight-year-old clothes. The PJs would be a bit big, but they'd fit well enough. He looked back at his room one last time before leaving for the other free guest room.

He quickly changed into his pajamas, feeling a bit nostalgic as he looked at the Gomera print in the mirror. He glanced at the sleepwear on the bed, not quite ready to face Ran again, but he pressed on anyway. He grabbed them and headed to the room he left Ran in.

She was sitting on the floor with her back against the bed, her head buried in the knees she hugged to her chest. She looked up when she heard him come in. No tears. Good. He wasn't sure he could handle her crying right now. She eyed the pajamas in his hands.

"Those are Shinichi's?" she asked as he handed them to her.

"They were in his room," he said. She held them up. They were red: her favorite color. She blushed a bit.

"Goodnight, Ran-neechan," he said as he turned to leave.

"Don't you want something for supper?"

"Ahaha— I'm not really hungry, so I'm just gonna go to bed, okay?"

"O-okay. Good… goodnight, Conan-kun," she said quietly. He closed the door, wishing she would be in a better mood tomorrow. It was painful watching her mope, especially since he couldn't do anything for her. He went back to the other guest room, turned out the lights, and climbed into bed. He stared up at the ceiling for three hours, eyes stinging, before finally drifting off to sleep.

Shinichi woke the next morning to the heavenly aromas of eggs and bacon and… was that coffee? He got up quickly. Ran never allowed him to have coffee in the morning— not while he was Conan, at least. She was either in a really good mood or she was so down she wasn't thinking properly. A trip to the kitchen revealed the former, a strange contrast to the last few days that had his head reeling from the virtual whiplash.

"Good morning, Conan-kun," she chirped. It sounded odd with his voice.

"… Good morning," he said slowly, unsure if he was walking into a mine field. "You seem… happy. Good dream?" She laughed, a nervous sounding thing, and her brows pinched together just a bit.

"Not really, she replied. "I just— I just needed some time to wrap my head around things. Might as well be useful, you know?" He nodded slowly. He could understand that. Plus, she probably didn't like the idea of making him worry— she never did. She was probably embarrassed from being so vulnerable in front of him. He had to admit it was better than watching her constantly trying not to cry.

He slid into a chair at the table where a fresh breakfast awaited him. He looked around, but only saw the one plate.

"Ran-neechan, aren't you going to eat?" he asked. She smiled apologetically.

"I already ate. I'm sorry for not waiting for you." He shook his head and greedily eyed the coffee cup she set in front of him, choosing not to say anything lest she change her mind. Coffee now, contemplate later.

After he finished breakfast, Ran quickly ushered him back to his guest room.

"Get dressed, Conan-kun: you're friends will be at Agasa Hakase's very soon," she said. He nodded, and watched her leave with some confusion. She'd done a complete 180 from yesterday. Breakfast wasn't a fluke. He hid a small frown in his shirt as he pulled it over his head. Ran was pretty resilient. He wouldn't have to spend the whole school day worrying, but…. He finished getting dressed and peered into the kitchen where Ran was washing dishes.

"Ran-neechan?"

"Hmm?"

"Ayumi-chan and the others wanted to play today, but I can come back here instead, if you want." She smiled at him.

"You go play with your friends. I don't mind. Besides, it's been a while since I cleaned Shinichi's house, so I expect I'll be busy all day. Have fun at school." She turned back to the dishes, leaving Shinichi to nervously keep looking at her over his shoulder as he headed out.

Haibara greeted him at the professor's door, expectantly glancing over at the Kudo house.

"Well, how'd she take it?" she asked. At his expression, she added, "Is she okay?" He nodded.

"She was terrible yesterday," he started slowly. "I expected that. But this morning…." He shook his head. "She's acting like there's nothing wrong."

"Then maybe nothing's wrong. What did she say?"

"That she just needed some time to get used to it."

"And you don't believe her?" she asked inquisitively. The doorbell rang.

"It's not that," he said as she went to answer the door. "I just can't believe she's okay so quickly. I guess I shouldn't worry."

"Hmm." Haibara opened the door and greeted the children, and they all left for school. While Ayumi was happily chattering away about last night's Yaiba episode, Haibara slowed her pace to talk to Shinichi.

"You said you shouldn't worry, so why are you?"

"Well, I wasn't at first, but…"

"But?"

"Something didn't quite feel right about the way she smiled."

"Isn't that just because she did it with your face?"

"… Maybe that's it." He glanced at the kids and lowered his voice. "Did you find anything yet?" he asked. She shook her head.

"I'm not even sure what I'm looking for," she admitted. "We just keep running tests for different aspects. Everything still comes up you." She sighed. "Just for the sake of it, I ran a comparison between the hair lock and her current DNA."

"And?"

"And nothing. It's still running. I expect it'll come back negative, though."

"… Still running?" he asked incredulously. "Doesn't that mean there's something wrong with your equipment?"

"I guess there must be. I'll see if I can fix it later."

"What are you two whispering about?" asked Mitsuhiko, irritated. Ayumi turned to face them as well, a discontented look on her face.

"Conan-kun and Ai-chan are always sharing secrets," she complained. Shinichi held up his hands in an attempt to appease them.

"Ahh— no, it's just—"

"Edogawa-kun downloaded something weird on my computer, so now it's acting funny," said Haibara calmly, walking ahead of them. He immediately played along.

"I said I was sorry!"

The children appeared to be pacified by the fake quarrel, noting that Conan was such a trouble maker, before walking the rest of the way to school as they resumed their Masked Yaiba conversation. Shinichi sighed and began the school day, pushing any worries he might have had aside.

When school let out, the children argued about what they should do.

"I think we should play soccer," insisted Mitsuhiko.

"Or we could go to Agasa Hakase's and play games and eat cake," said Genta.

"You're always thinking about food, Genta-kun," said Ayumi. "But I like both ideas. What about you two?" Haibara spoke up before Shinichi could think of something to say.

"Since Ran-san hasn't turned up yet," she said gently, "I think we should stick to the professor's house, just in case." They all nodded in approval.

"Play games it is, then," said Mitsuhiko with a sigh. "I suppose we'll have to practice soccer some other time." Shinichi smiled, remembering when they weren't the least bit interested in his favorite sport.

When they got to Agasa's house, Shinichi glanced at his house. There was movement behind one of the windows, so he figured Ran was still cleaning. Normally, she'd be done by now. He'd ask her later, once he could get away from the children without them getting angry. They went inside and played games for a few hours, laughing and eating Hakase's food. Haibara occasionally slipped into her lab in the guise of going to the restroom. Each time she came back, she wordlessly shook her head at Shinichi. They still had nothing.

When the children finally left, Shinichi sighed dejectedly. "Nothing at all?" he asked. He didn't need to elaborate.

"Nothing at all. The samples came back negative, as I thought they would. I'm still not sure why my equipment froze up like that— it's working fine, now." Shinichi hummed.

"I guess I'll check on Ran. She planned to clean all day, but it usually doesn't take that long for her." Haibara looked thoughtful, but waved him away without a word, slipping back into the lab. He sighed again and left for his house. His mouth hung open in shock when he got inside.

Everything was so clean, it practically sparkled. He spotted Ran, finishing up scrubbing the floor on the far side of the library. She'd never done anything like this before.

"Ran-neechan? What is all this?" She looked up from her spot on the floor, wiping some sweat off her forehead.

Oh, Conan-kun! Ah, this? I found some mold in the kitchen and thought, 'better safe than sorry.' Did you know there was mildew in here? That's not very healthy for little seven-year-old lungs."

"You…" He was lost for words, looking around at a cleanliness a museum would be envious of. He ventured over to her, careful to choose patches of floor that were mostly dry. "You're all sweaty," he commented, finding his voice.

"I… I am, aren't I?" Her face fell slightly. "I wasn't really thinking. I'll… I'll have to take a bath." Her brows knitted together, and her face flushed dark red at the thought. Shinichi also felt a blush creeping up the back of his neck.

"Y-you were gonna have to do it eventually," he stammered, more to justify it to himself than to her. He wasn't too keen on Ran seeing his naked body, and from her reaction, neither was she. She sat back, looking fretfully up at the ceiling. He could practically hear the gears turning in her head.

"Ah!" She looked back at him. "I could take a shower— that way, I won't have to look at anything." She smiled, nodding to herself in approval. The idea made Shinichi feel less apprehensive as well.

"Good idea. You'll have to wear Shinichi-niichan's clothes." At her expression, he quickly added, "Only— only for a little bit: this weekend, we can go shopping for some separate clothes for you." Her shoulders relaxed, and she slowly looked down at her clothes.

"Alright," she said, not looking up at him. "Alright, we… we can do that." She got up slowly, moving uncertainly up the stairs towards Shinichi's room. Shinichi followed, noting the brilliantly polished banisters. She'd never cleaned this furiously before, but now he was remembering that she usually did her especially big cleaning sessions when she needed to blow off steam.

He regarded her as she rummaged around his dresser and closet, looking for clothes she didn't associate too closely with him. This proved to be very difficult: he didn't own too many clothes as he didn't put too much stock in his appearance. Everywhere she looked was met with painful memories.

Sighing heavily, she settled on the navy sweater with the plaid collar he'd worn at the aquarium and a light pair of jeans. He watched as she nervously headed towards the bathroom, hesitating in its doorway. When she closed the door, his knees finally buckled and he crumpled to the floor, still staring at the bathroom door.

He trusted her not to look, but… accidents happen. He tried to console himself. If she does see, he thought, we'll be even for the Benkei Onsen incident. His face and ears burned at the memory, and he put a hand up to his chest in attempt to calm his rapidly beating heart. He breathed out a chuckle— a shaky wisp of a sound. It would be fine.

After a while, he heard Ran's voice drift over from the bathroom.

"Conan-kun? Come here for a minute. I found something strange." Shinichi frowned and headed over to the bathroom. He cautiously opened the door, only to find her partially dressed; the jeans were on, and it looked like she was about to put on the sweater, but stopped before she pulled it over her head. He frowned.

"You found something weird?" he asked. She nodded, coming closer, lowering the sweater a bit to reveal part of her chest.

"Here," she said, pointing to the right of her heart, her face flushing again. His frown deepened as he leaned forward to look at the spot. There was a perfect ring shaped scar there, that looked as if it came from a burn, about the size of an American silver dollar. He reached out to touch it and she immediately recoiled, crossing her arms in front of her chest to cover it.

"What are you embarrassed about?" he asked. "You aren't a girl anymore,so—" He clamped his mouth shut as he realized what he said. The glare she gave him looked so betrayed. Oops…

"W-what I mean is," he stammered, "y-you're going to have to show it to Agasa Hakase, whether you're embarrassed or not." Her expression softened back into melancholy.

"I… You're right." She pulled the sweater over her head. "I should probably do that now, huh?"

"I'll come with you," he said, hoping she'd forget his earlier comment. "I wanna know what Hakase thinks about it." She smiled down at him and nodded, her earlier discomfort forgotten. They headed for Agasa's house to tell him about the strange scar.