Chapter 17: Repression Digression

Shinichi spent his time after school the next week at the public library, researching different methods to try and retrieve the memories Ran had lost. The Detective Boys were mostly displeased with this new development and, when they were unable to convince him to play with them, took to accompanying him under the guise of getting their homework done quickly so they could do what they wanted when they got home.

That's what they'd said, anyway. Most of their time there was spent reading comic books or trying to get Shinichi away from the psychology books a child "his age" shouldn't be reading.

He wasn't sure if his distinct lack of progress was from the constant distractions or from the limited availability of the books he needed, but he did manage to gather enough information to at least try something.

The biggest disappointment by far was that no matter what method he tried, there was no guarantee of it working. A few methods he threw out the window—they were very similar to the first thing he tried with Ran, and the only thing they'd gleaned from that was that she'd been shot the day she was kidnapped, and that caused Ran to have a massive panic attack.

The talking method wasn't going to work, either. Really, getting her to talk about what happened would only work if she could remember it, and any time she tried to remember, she would develop a migraine. Which left them with the only real option—hypnosis.

He sighed. It wouldn't hurt to try, at least. The biggest obstacle would be getting her to go under. His time at the library unearthed many more methods to do that than he'd originally thought. They'd start with, in his thought, the most clichéd and well-known method—the fixed-gaze induction.

After a thorough explanation of his plans to unearth her memories, Ran was surprisingly easy to convince. He'd expected some kind of pushback, but she had always believed in most things without a hint of skepticism, so perhaps he shouldn't have worried.

"Honestly, I want to know what happened, too," she'd told him. "I've… I've never had so much time missing, you know? Even in that case in New York, I only forgot a day at most."

So she'd been scared. Not that he blamed her, of course. He hadn't really noticed, since the concern of not remembering had been greatly overshadowed by every other, more visibly pressing fear.

So they'd began setting up for the first attempt. The most common object used in the fixed-gaze method was a pocket watch, which his father naturally had on hand. Actually, he had an entire drawer full of them, since he'd once mentioned in an interview in his early years that he was rather fond of how they looked. Kudo Yusaku fans never forgot that tidbit, so the gentleman's item came in a steady stream.

Shinichi, having witnessed that absurdity in his youth, had been very careful not to say anything too incriminating to the press during his own brief stint with fame, lest he find himself up to his eyeballs in something like, say, deerstalker caps or magnifying glasses. Not that he hadn't received a few of those items from fans as a joke referencing his inspiration in Holmes, but if he'd actually said he enjoyed those things out loud…

Well, the zeal of fans was beneficial in this case. They had a surplus of pocket watches at their disposal, and it was only a matter of finding one with a good weight and a decent-sized chain.

"Your dad's fans are kind of scary, huh?" said Ran as she peered into the drawer Shinichi was rummaging through. He pulled out a watch to examine it.

"Actually, I think his fans are pretty tame compared to the others out there," he said, finally settling on one of the many watches. "It could have been worse." He closed the drawer and stood up, clutching his prize in triumph. Ran just shrugged as she followed Shinichi into the living room, apathetic to the ways fan cultures differed from one another.

"Just so you know," she said in an apologetic tone, "Sonoko's already tried this trick on me a few times."

"And? Did she succeed?" he asked. He didn't need to inquire as to when this transpired—hypnotism was, surprisingly, a common party game at sleepovers.

"No," she said, confirming what Shinichi already suspected.

"Yeah, she's tried it on me, too," he admitted. "Again, with nothing to show for it." He allowed a smug pride to slip into the last comment.

"… Then why are we trying this if it doesn't work on either of us?" she asked, her surprise readily apparent.

"The variables are different," he said, as if that should have explained everything. At her blank stare, he grimaced inwardly. "Er… Right. It's very likely nothing will happen since this method didn't work on either of us," he said.

"Then—"

"Like I said, the variables are different," said Shinichi, raising a hand to stop her. "We were both normal at the time, right?" She frowned, nodding hesitantly. "But you're not really you right now." Her frown deepened.

"You just said this didn't work on you, either," she said, the confusion evident.

"And you're not me, either," he pointed out. Ran reached up to rub at her temples. "Basically," he said, trying to sum up the dilemma, "you're not you and you're not me, and the way the mind works is still mostly a scientific mystery. We're just doing this to cover every possibility."

Ran only gave a tired nod, and Shinichi sent her an apologetic look with a small chuckle. He hadn't meant to be confusing, but this sort of situation was impossible not to be.

So they set up in the living room and began the experiment, both sporting embarrassed flushes at the cheesiness of it all. As they'd expected, nothing happened. Ran lamented the wasted time until Shinichi reminded her that Haibara would very likely have had their necks if they'd dismissed the possibility all together.

Throughout the week, they tried variations on the fixed-gaze method, monitored closely by the stern gaze of Haibara, who'd been irate when she discovered they'd made the first attempt alone. Not that she was capable of providing professional input, but at the very least she wanted to make certain they weren't messing around. Shinichi had wanted to refute that, but the reputation hypnotism had, coupled with the little scientist's challenging glare, shut him up pretty quickly.

Ran had initially wanted to try multiple variations per day to save time, but Haibara shut down that thought almost immediately. If they kept failing over and over in the same afternoon, they were bound to get much more frustrated, which would, in turn, make hypnotism virtually impossible.

Other methods were tried as the days went by, but nothing seemed to work. Haibara lamented the fact that Shinichi was an amateur, which only led him to snap back at her.

"Maybe I should go out and bring in a professional?" he asked waspishly. "It'll require a few secrets to come out, but I'm sure you won't mind." That shut her up real quick, but it did bring up a point.

Like therapy, hypnotism required both skill in the craft and a good understanding and rapport with the patient. The latter, he had in abundance. The former was quite understandably lacking, even with all of the extra research he'd been doing on the subject.

He drummed his fingers on the coffee table, deep in thought. It was obvious enough that no variation on the fixed-gaze method would work. He couldn't shock or confuse her into a trance (both, very surprisingly, methods that worked for some); Ran, being a karate expert, was much too vigilant for the shock method to work. Anyone who tried that on her would more than likely end up with a broken wrist from her gut reaction to that.

The confusion method might work on a simpleton, he thought, but while Ran wasn't a genius, she was hardly simple-minded. He'd have better luck trying to talk to her in her sleep.

Shinichi scowled at the floor. He needed more information.

Another trip to the library yielded only one other result—any more information would need to be gathered either from a bigger library or the highly unreliable internet.

He frowned at the book, studying the page. Revivication…? It was worth a shot, anyway. He wasn't entirely sure ow getting her to remember the feeling of random things would help, but he thought that about most hypnosis methods anyway. It definitely wouldn't hurt anything, except perhaps in wasting some time. He nodded resolutely to himself.

Considering how much time we already wasted, this is nothing.

xXx

After some study and preparation, Shinichi had Ran back in the living room to try again. Haibara watched moodily, sending disdainful glances at Shinichi's notes for this session. She was in a similar mind with him on the reliability of the seemingly useless induction method, but she held her tongue knowing they were out of options.

After some discussion, Ran settled on cherry blossom viewing as the focal point. Shinichi flushed as he remembered how they used to go together every year, Ran dragging him around while he loudly protested (which was mostly for show, so that he kept his feelings hidden). All in all, it was a good choice since they were both familiar with the experience.

Shinichi dimmed the lights and started, ignoring Haibara's failed attempt at suppressing a scoff as he began slowly describing Ran's favorite viewing spot: the weather, how the gentle breeze carried the scent of Sakura with it. He felt foolish, but he kept going, making sure his embarrassment didn't show in his voice.

He was more than ready to give up after thirty minutes of this nonsense, even if he grudgingly admitted it was sort of relaxing to recount something so pleasant and (most importantly) murder free. He looked up at Ran, ready to stop, when he noticed with surprise that she seemed to have nodded off. While still sitting up perfectly straight.

He blinked and nudged Haibara, who also stared in surprise, before quietly consulting his notes. Very carefully picking his words, he took Ran from whatever state of mind she was currently experiencing into a complete trance.

That actually worked? he thought to himself. He was a little hesitant to continue, afraid that he'd mess it up, so he took things very slowly.

"Ran?" he asked softly. "Can you hear my voice?"

"… Yes…" she said, eyes remaining closed. Shinichi frowned down at his notes. Not for the first time, he sorely wished he could have brought in a pro since he had no clue about how to properly ask what he wanted. He stifled a wistful sigh and plowed on.

"A while back, you were kidnapped while taking a shortcut on the way home from school," he said, careful not to talk too fast. "Do you remember?"

"… Yes… I was… shot…" she said, her words sluggish.

"Where did he take you?" he asked, making sure not to ask if she remembered that bit—this question implied that she did remember, and he was counting on the hypnotized mind to believe that. It was hardly a perfect plan, but they had no more options.

"… It's… dark…" she said after a short silence. "… Cold…"

"Where are you?" he asked, hoping the repeat question would get a proper answer out of her. Her brows pinched together.

"… Waiting… my turn…" Shinichi and Haibara exchanged frowns.

"Your turn for what?"

"… The screaming… won't stop…"

"Who's screaming?"

"… The… others… until my… turn…" Ran's breathing was becoming unsteady. Shinichi felt sick.

"You said it was dark and cold," Haibara cut in. "Are you underground?" Shinichi sighed. He'd wanted to avoid possibly leading the conversation (which could potentially bring in misremembered things), but seeing as they weren't getting anywhere, he allowed it.

Ran frowned at the question for a long time, and just as Shinichi thought she wouldn't answer, she did.

"Under… ground…" It almost sounded like she was agreeing with Haibara, which was what he'd been afraid of. Then, "… The children are in danger." Shinichi straightened up, now thoroughly concerned.

"Children? What children?" he demanded. Experimenting on unsuspecting adults was depraved enough without adding children to the mix.

"… Tomo… dachi…" said Ran slowly, brows furrowing in distress.

'Tomodachi'… friends? Shinichi frowned. Ran didn't have any child friends outside of the Detective Boys, and they hadn't been kidnapped or missing for any amount of time. Even then, what she felt for them was more akin to a maternal instinct than anything. Did she make these friends at the place she was held? As he mused through this information, Ran's face contorted.

"… It… h-hurts…!" she whimpered. "I-it hurts!" She clutched her head, shaking. Shinichi paled and jumped out of his seat.

"Ran! What's happening?! Are you okay?!" he asked, poorly suppressed panic creeping into his voice. Her only reply came in the form of pained grunts and whimpers as she curled into herself.

"Kudo-kun—the trance!" snapped Haibara breathlessly. "Break the trance!"

"R-right." He fumbled with his notes and proceeded to try bringing Ran out of her hypnotized state, voice resolute but shaky. Nothing happened, and Ran's tremors became more violent as she gritted her teeth, desperately clutching her head.

"C'mon Ran, snap out of it!" said Shinichi, urgently placing a hand on her shoulder. The shaking stopped abruptly, and she fell forward, collapsing on the floor.

"RAN!"