Chapter 32: A Sense of [Ab]Normalcy
A bag of rice is mentioned this chapter. It's not super important, but it might paint a better picture if I tell you it was probably a 10 lb bag. I honestly don't know about other Asian households (and as an American, we grew up on instant rice- at least in my house), but my husband typically buys giant 15-20 lb bags, and they disappear fairly quickly.
I may also be head-cannoning that Heiji eats just as much as my husband haha
Despite his best efforts to get information remotely, Shinichi ultimately came to the conclusion that he would need to visit Beika General Hospital in person. What whe really needed was to speak with the staff—at the very least, discussing things with them might uncover some clues as to what exactly he was searching for.
Part of him debated dragging Not-Him along to act as the indulgent yet exasperated cousin, but he scrapped the idea pretty quickly. His clone needed to heal up first before engaging in an activity he knew would escalate into exacerbating the wound.
Another part of him debated dragging Heiji along, but… well, Heiji couldn't act to save his life, and even if he could they'd have a pretty difficult time convincing people they were related. Few people would believe they were friends, either, considering the supposed age gap. As a pair, they stuck out like a sore thumb, and because of that, he couldn't think of a plausible excuse as to why they would poke around the hospital without alerting the wrong people.
What he needed was a legitimate reason to be at the hospital, something he spent the rest of the week pondering. The children were blessedly undemanding, probably giving him space to cope with his 'amnesiac cousin'. They spent the remainder of the week whispering worriedly amongst themselves.
By Friday, he was seriously debating injuring the professor (with the man's consent, of course, though he had a feeling he wouldn't go for it). He cursed his inability to produce a decent solution, silently mulling over the issue on the way home from school. Haibara was similarly quiet, probably mulling over the brain scans and what to do about that. The children left them alone to plan amongst themselves, but not before wrangling a promise out of them to hang out at least three days the next week.
Shinichi and Haibara split up in front of their homes, each to work on their respective problems, each hoping the other had more luck in their search.
Upstairs, Heiji's voice could be heard down the hall, yelling at someone Shinichi couldn't hear. Based on the tone, he was probably on the phone with Kazuha. He blinked a few times, realizing she was probably out of the loop, then bit back a groan as he realized he hadn't told Heiji to be discreet with the new development. Which meant if she hadn't known before today, she probably would by the time the call ended.
He sighed, resigning himself to his fate, and just hoped this wouldn't create a new headache for him in the future. Heiji moodily hung up just as Shinichi entered the room.
"Something wrong?" he asked, even if he wasn't particularly interested in the drama. Heiji sighed heavily and irritably mussed his hair.
"Just Kazuha givin' me an earful about missin' the whole week of school," he groused as he shoved his phone into his pocket. " My parents started buggin' her when they couldn't reach me."
Shinichi didn't ask why Heiji's parents couldn't reach him—that much was obvious..
"'Course, she knows the gist of the situation, so she didn't yell too much," he sighed. Shinichi closed his eyes. There it was.
"You told her?"
"Well, yeah," came the nonplussed response. A pause. "Er… was I not s'pposed to?" Shinichi just sighed and shrugged, not sure if he actually cared or not at this point. "If yer worried 'bout her comin' here, I think she's too scared to see the other Kudo in person," he added. "Like I said, she only called me 'cause I skipped a whole week of classes."
Shinichi shrugged again and headed for his laptop. "Considering how much school I've missed, I can't really say anything—you sure you won't get in trouble with your parents?" Heiji grimaced.
"My mom'll tell me off," he said, scratching his cheek. "My dad… well, he'll wait 'til test scores come out before he decides to do anythin'." He folded his arms. "As long as I get top marks, it'll be fine."
Shinichi blinked. That was certainly a surprise—he'd expected Heizo to have a stricter approach to this sort of thing. On the other hand, he could only imagine what sort of punishment the man could enforce if he thought his son's excursions were affecting his grades.
"So you're going back when…?"
"Probably Sunday," came the casual reply. "I definitely won't get away with missin' more than a week." He shot Shinichi a sharp look. "Unless yer sick of me already?" The playful smug grin in his voice was enough to make Shinichi bristle.
"No. Do what you want." He probably should have felt annoyed at having been manipulated to let Heiji stay, but like most things recently, he found he couldn't bring himself to care much.
Heiji's grin made Shinichi roll his eyes.
They worked in silence for a few hours before Heiji stretched and left the room, saying something about food. Shinichi paid him no mind as he continued working to find some way to poke around the hospital discretely.
He wouldn't need to sneak around like this if he was his proper age—even if he'd been off the radar for a while, he was still technically a household name. He doubted he could convince Haibara with that line of reasoning. He growled in frustration.
If I'd known I'd need to poke around the hospital, I'd have done it while the clone was still there. Of course, that bit of information only came out after they realized what was going on.
He scowled at his computer screen, furious at how useless he was. The fact that they had all declined a follow-up appointment made him even more angry at himself. And they couldn't suddenly request a follow-up without raising some questions. He pinched the bridge of his nose. Everything was such a mess.
"Oi, Kudo," came a voice from the doorway. He looked up to find Heiji holding up his phone. "You see the news today?"
"…No…" he said slowly, watching as Heiji tapped the screen a few times. His phone buzzed, receiving an email. Grateful for the small distraction, he unlocked his phone to look at the article Heiji sent.
KAITO KID TO APPEAR TONIGHT
ELUSIVE THIEF SETS SIGHTS ON STARLIGHT SAPPHIRE
Shinichi stared at the headline for a few moments before scrolling down to read the rest of the article.
"You're really not goin'?" asked Heiji skeptically. He had doubted Shinichi's explanation when the thief in question had offered his help a while ago. Shinichi shrugged.
"I said I wouldn't," he said simply.
"Well, I didn't," said Heiji, a smugness in his voice that had Shinichi rolling his eyes. "I'm sure I could catch 'im if I put my mind to it." He was trying to bait Shinichi, who only sighed in response.
"You're welcome to try," he said dryly. Mildly curious, he pulled up a more recent article on the matter, skimmed it, then barked out a surprised laugh. "That's why he didn't want me to come!"
"What's why?"
"Hakuba Saguru is back in the country—it says here that he plans to attend the heist."
Heiji's expression soured instantly.
"That prick's in town?" He clicked his tongue. "Ugh. I think I'll keep my weekend jerk-free fer now."
"Good luck with that," Shinichi muttered.
"What was that?"
"Nothing."
xXx
The weekend passed much too quickly for anyone's liking. Heiji left to avoid getting in trouble, the KID Heist ended much like it usually did when Shinichi was present, and neither Haibara nor Shinichi were able to make any headway in their respective endeavors.
So basically, nothing changed.
In an attempt to distract himself after Heiji left, Shinichi decided to check the kitchen supplies. Ran had mentioned last time that the Osakan ate quite a bit more than expected, and that time he'd only been around for three days. He quickly quashed the new wave of grief at the memory before it could consume him.
There was only packaged ramen left. No ingredients to make something else, no rice. He was pretty sure he'd had a brand new bag of rice just before his clone woke up. The Osakan menace was a bottomless. pit.
He sighed heavily as he closed the cabinet doors, making a mental note to berate his friend later. It wasn't a huge issue, since neither he nor his clone had much appetite, but there was someone else here that actually ate. And forced him and probably his clone to eat, now that he was thinking about it.
"I have a list," came a voice behind him. He did not jump, and anyone who said otherwise couldn't prove it. He turned around.
Subaru was smiling down benignly at him as if he hadn't just snuck up behind him. The man held out a folded up memo note.
"Why're you giving this to me?" Shinichi asked, even as he took the paper.
"Because you need to get out of the house, and so does the other Shinichi-kun. Staying cooped up inside is detrimental to one's health, as you well know." Shinichi scowled down at his slippers, unable to argue. "It would also save me some money," the man added mischievously. The small teen rolled his eyes.
"… Fine," he grumbled before shoving the paper in his pocket. He trudged out of the kitchen before he could be roped into running any other errands, and stomped his way upstairs with fake indignation. Once he cleared the landing, he stopped and took a look at the now crumpled paper.
The list in question required a trip to the department store if he wanted to get everything on it in a single outing. He sighed heavily. They couldn't have run out of dish soap, coffee filters, and trash bags at a different time?
Of course not, since the universe apparently had it in for him.
He stalked over to the clone's room and opened the door after a single knock before he could talk himself out of it. Not-Shinichi looked put at the intruder from his place at the desk in the corner of the room. There wasn't anything on said desk, so he was probably sulking at not being able to look at the case files. Shinichi bristled at the inquisitive eyebrow his double raised.
"Get dressed; we're going out," he said crisply.
"Where?" asked Not-Shinichi as he stood up from his chair.
"To the department store—we ran out of food plus a few other things we can't get from the market—I don't want to make more than one trip if I can help it." Shinichi turned and strode towards his room, Not-Shinichi following behind.
"And you're bringing me because…?" asked the clone with a frown. Shinichi had made it quite clear to him that his presence was only tolerated because the body belonged to Ran. Shinichi, for his part, was quickly settling back into Detective ModeTM and was slowly coming to terms with talking to another him. He also didn't want the clone to know they had both been recruited to do this task by Subaru—someone Not-Shinichi didn't know or trust at all, so he fibbed a bit.
"Hattori went home, Agasa and Haibara are busy, and Subaru-san has some post-graduate work he needs to complete," he said as they entered his room. "I need extra hands." As expected, Not-Shinichi frowned at the mention of Subaru, but ultimately refrained from voicing whatever thoughts he had on the man. He instead turned his attention to Shinichi's closet.
"I assume we're walking?" he asked as he eyed the clothes Shinichi was too small to wear.
"That was the plan," said Shinichi as he pushed past Not-Him to get to the child clothes he'd started storing near the back. "Walking's not gonna hurt your head, is it?"
"My legs are a bit, sore," he replied as he sifted absently through the clothes. "But that's mostly from being bedridden for a week." Shinichi hummed in agreement as they both snagged clothes without really looking at them. He briefly closed his eyes as the tried not to remember how Ran liked to coordinate the outfits into something she deemed presentable.
"Well, we can walk there, and if you're still having issues, we can take a cab home," he said as he pulled the clothes he picked towards him. Not-Him hummed in acknowledgement as he did the same. Shinichi suppressed a shudder at the feeling of inherent wrongness the identical movement caused.
They dressed in separate rooms, and just before leaving Shinichi hesitated, wondering if he could get Not-Him to wear a hat. Ran was the one who felt secure with it, but at the same time it would probably be better if he couldn't be easily recognized. Shinichi debated for all of three seconds before realizing that a cap would aggravate a fractured skull. Not for the first or last time that day, he cursed his rotten luck.
They met at the front door, quietly put on their shoes, and left for the twenty minute walk to the department store. Shinichi doubted the wrong eyes would spot them, but he kept a vigilant look out for potential dangers and places Not-Him could be quickly tucked away out of sight should the need arise.
The silence as they walked was stifling.
Not so long ago, Shinichi and Ran had walked the same path, wistfully talking about nothing, and existing as two teenagers despite the world screwing them over. Remembering that brief bit of solace ached in his chest in a way he didn't realize was possible. He barely managed to shove another wave of grief away so he could focus on the task at hand.
They thankfully reached the store without incident. Before even approaching the doors, Shinichi was forced out of his thoughts by a light tap on his head. He looked up, finding his own eyes staring down at him. Not-Shinichi looked around before speaking quietly.
"I need my—your wallet," he said, bitterly correcting himself. "It'll look strange if you pay for everything while we're together."
Makes sense, Shinichi thought with a grimace, but made no complaints as he handed his wallet over. With that taken care of, they headed inside.
The shopping itself was blissfully quiet, with all of Shinichi's attention on finding and crossing off items on the crumpled list in his pocket. He somehow managed to keep his thoughts from spiraling, electing to document everything around him in his mind: from the family eating ice cream in the food court right down to the number of tiles on the floor. Any other wandering thoughts were dedicated to solving complicated equations or strategizing theoretical soccer games he couldn't play at the moment.
He almost felt normal.
He didn't feel so normal when they had to pay for their stuff. Watching Not-Shinichi pull out his wallet to pay with his money felt… painfully strange. He wondered briefly if that was how out-of-body experiences felt.
A little girl ran past him, happily giggling as her mother chased after her. Shinichi absently glanced at them, taking in their carefree bliss as a pang of envy closed around his ribs. He quickly turned back to his double who had just finished paying for the non-perishable items on the list. Not-Him also glanced wistfully at the family as he walked over to Shinichi. Neither brought it up.
"What else is on the list?" asked Not-Shinichi, exhaustion creeping into his voice. He gingerly brought a hand to the back of his head, rubbing lightly at the small bandage that had replaced the larger hospital dressings.
"Produce, meat, and dairy," said Shinichi. "Do you need a break?" Not-Him grimaced, looking very much like he wanted to keep going, before ultimately nodding in defeat.
"… Yeah, actually."
Shinichi looked at his watch with a hum.
"Might as well grab some lunch," he mumbled, even if he didn't much feel like eating. His clone grimaced.
"I'm not—"
"I know you're not hungry," snapped Shinichi. "I'm not, either. But right now we have two options. We either get something here, or Subaru-san forces us to eat at home. At least this way we'll get a receipt so he can't complain. And he can't prove we didn't finish more than a few bites of food." There was a new grimace on the clone's face now.
"And we care about that man's opinion because…?"
Oh. Right. Not-Shinichi didn't really understand why Subaru was even around. And Shinichi couldn't really explain things without giving the man's secrets away. He sighed.
"That's not important right now," he said, eyes scanning for a place they could grab something like a salad. "What is important is if we don't eat here, he will make us eat there. What's important is keeping that body—" He pointed at Not-Shinichi purposefully. "—maintained for Ran. Which won't happen if you're not eating properly. I'm only offering a half-way solution like this once."
The clone grimaced again before giving a tight nod. Shinichi led him towards one of the restaurants. They ordered two house salads, and two waters. The bowls were small enough to not be completely overwhelming to the quietly grieving boys. They ate slowly, wordlessly. Not-Shinichi stared blanky at the tabletop, Shinichi doing much the same. The only managed half of the small salads.
Shinichi stuck the receipt in his pocket to use as proof for Subaru while his clone got up to throw the rest of the salads away. While he was alone and waiting for the other's return, someone jumped him.
"Hi, Conan-kun!" yelled a familiar voice as he was lifted into the air in a tight hug. Shinichi let out a growl as he tried and failed to turn his head to give his assailant a glower.
"Sera-no-neechan," he huffed out, wiggling in a vain attempt to free himself. "Put me down." She complied with a cheeky grin, fang glinting as she stared down at him. Her expression was strained.
"How's the search coming?" she asked with forced chipperness. "Any news?"
"No," he said sullenly. "No news. Ran-neechan's still missing." Sera deflated, shoulders slumping at his words.
"Yeah, I figured," she mumbled. She straightened back up. "So? Whatcha doin' back here? Are you by yourself this time?"
"Nope," he said, noting his clone coming back, confusion on his face as he watched the two interact. "I'm here with my cousin."
"Your cousin," she said flatly. Not-Shinichi stopped just a few steps behind her. "Is this the same cousin as last time?"
"Yup," he said, giving his clone a pointed look. Not-Shinichi cleared his throat, making Sera whirl around.
"Who's this, Conan-kun?" he asked, slipping into a half-acting, half-detective state. "A friend of yours?"
"This is Sera-no-neechan," he replied. Not-Shinichi blinked at the female moniker before eying the girl more closely. "This is my cousin, Shinichi-niichan."
The color drained out of the girl's face as she looked between the two boys several times. The surprised gape quickly turned suspicious as she eyed the clone.
"Kudo Shinichi?" she asked, voice low. She got up in his face, studying his features with mistrust.
"Yes…?" Not-Shinichi blinked in confusion, leaning back even as she leaned forward. She squinted her eyes.
"You don't remember me?" The fanged smirk was triumphant. He scowled, lightly pushing her out of his personal space.
"No, I don't," he snapped irritably. Her triumphant grin grew larger, her snaggletooth gleaming. He blinked at that. "Huh. I… Have we… met before…?" He glanced at Shinichi, a mild panic flashing in his eyes at the possibility of accidentally outing himself. Sera was still glaring suspiciously at him.
"Yes and no," said Shinichi causally, doing his best to act like Sera's assumptions meant nothing to them. Not-Shinichi scoffed.
"Not helpful," he said, tone flat.
"You've spoken on the phone a couple of times," he explained, mind racing back to the interactions. "But that was pretty recently. After the cultural festival."
Not-Shinichi's eyes lit up in understanding—since they were going with Haibara's plan, it was fine he didn't know. It was Sera's turn to look confused. She rounded on Shinichi.
"What are you talking about?" she asked quickly. "Who is this?!" He sent her an unimpressed stare.
"I just told you—this is Shinichi-niichan. He just got out of the hospital with a skull fracture, and can't remember anything since just before the cultural festival; so he's missing quite a few months in his memory." Sera scoffed, looking between the two.
"Amnesia? That's a little convenient, isn't it?"
"What exactly are you implying?" asked the clone, eyes narrowed. He crossed his arms.
"I don't believe you're really Kudo Shinichi," she huffed.
"Why not?" He glanced at Shinichi, whose grimace explained the situation. Thankfully, Sera hadn't witnessed the subtle exchange. Taking the hint, the clone continued. "I'm right here in front of you, aren't I? If we haven't met, perhaps I could find a picture from an online article that could prove it."
"Conan-kun, I need the truth. Right now," she growled in a low voice. Shinichi raised an eyebrow.
"That is the truth," he snapped. "Why do you keep insisting I'm lying?"
She opened and closed her mouth a few times, clearly aware of how insane she must look from an outside perspective.
"I—you—b-because—!" She scowled at him, seething. She sucked in a deep breath, and both Shinichis instinctively knew she was going to yell out his secret regardless of who was around. Panic set in, rooting them both to the spot, unable to stop her or dissolve the situation without causing more of a scene.
A loud scream from upstairs halted Sera in her attempt. All three detectives stared at each other before bolting in the direction the commotion came from.
"This conversation isn't over," hissed Sera as they ran.
No, it isn't, agreed Shinichi silently. I just hope we can figure a way out of it before the end of this.