While Hank is waiting for news, I don't want to keep you waiting any longer - even though it took a little longer with the chapter this time and it's not as long as I planned - the chapter.

I'm not sure if this chapter needs a trigger warning - but to be safe

Trigger warning - mentions of suicide thoughts

Chapter 3

Nervously, Hank paced back and forth in the waiting room. In fact, it felt like he had been waiting literally hours for news. And the team felt the same way. They were all waiting to hear how Kim was doing - if she was alive, if she was going to be okay.

A while ago, Maggie had entered the waiting room and told them that Kim had been taken to the OR. So now they had to wait and see. Awaiting news from the OR.

Hank had somehow hoped that Maggie would have had better news. That she would have told him that Kim had woken up briefly and asked for him. Ah, but that wasn't the case. Kim hadn't regained consciousness since that moment at the precinct. Unfortunately.

However, very soon, she would be awake and smiling at him and everything would be fine again - Hank was sure of that. Well, it was that little bit of hope he was clinging to. Right now, that was all he had. HOPE. Hank couldn't lose that hope. He couldn't lose Kim. He couldn't lose the woman he loved again. He wouldn't survive that. Not again.

Hank's hand slid down to the holster on his belt, where he carried his gun. If Kim didn't survive - well, he knew what he was going to do. He'd get in his car and drive to the place where Kim and he had spent a very special evening. A picnic under the stars. They had spent some very happy times there - and he would remember it there one last time before he put an end to it all. An end to a life without Kim.

All of the team were so busy with their own thoughts and worries about Kim that they hadn't noticed this brief moment - except for Al. Ever since that moment at the precinct when he had seen Hank's concern for Kim. When his best friend had gotten into the ambulance with her, he had wondered how important this young woman was in Hank's life. Now this!

Al didn't really want to imagine what Hank's brief grip on his holster meant - but he had a hunch.

Al hesitated, was now the right time to approach Hank about it? He wasn't sure. But he would keep an eye on Hank. And if need be, intervene and take the gun from his friend if things took a turn for the worst. Even though Al was not religious, he sent a silent prayer to heaven - Kim had to survive for Hank's sake.

Again and again, Hanks eyes wandered to the door through which the surgical wing of the Med was located. Why did it take so long for them to finally hear something?! Why didn't the doctors get here at last and tell them that everything was going to be all right? Hank could hardly stand the waiting.

"Hank," Erin's voice broke into his consciousness.

"Mmmhh."

"I got you a coffee," she said, holding a paper cup filled with coffee from the vending machine towards him.

Wordlessly, Hank looked at the cup before reaching for it.

"Come sit down," Erin said then. It hurt her to see the man who was like a father to her like this. You could clearly see that Kim Burgess getting shot had shocked Hank. But why? Um, Erin was at a loss for words. Trudy she could understand. Trudy had been standing right next to Kim when she was shot. But, Hank, he hadn't gotten to the scene until Kim was already bleeding on the ground. And then, then he had acted so differently, too. Erin would ask him about it - just not today. Today, they were all waiting to hear how Kim was doing. Whether she would survive.

But when Hank heard footsteps coming toward him, he immediately turned in the direction of them. Dr Rhodes and Dr Abrams were approaching the waiting people. Hopefully with good news. From the looks on their faces, Hank could not tell what news awaited him.

The team also gathered around Hank. They were all waiting for news on how Kim was doing.

"How is she?" asked Hank immediately. He really needed to hear some good news - he didn't want to hear anything else. No.

"She's alive, but it was a close call. The bullet hit an artery and she lost a lot of blood. But, we were able to close the tear with a patch."

"She's going to be okay, though?"

Hank had trouble grasping the doctor's words. Artery. Patch. Blood loss. This was all kind of hard to understand. He just wanted to know if she was going to make a full recovery. If she would live. Whether he wouldn't lose her.

"We have to wait for the next 48 hours. She went into cardiac arrest twice during the surgery," Connor Rhodes explained.

"And then there's the head injury from the fall," Dr Abrams said, "The CT scan showed no bleeding, but we'll have to wait until she's awake again. We'll also have to see if the cardiac arrest caused any neurological damage."

"I'm sorry we don't have more positive news," Connor knew the young officer and the team. And he knew her severe injuries had taken quite a toll on the team. He didn't want to imagine what it meant to everyone present if the young woman didn't survive.

Connor had seen the distraught faces of the Intelligence. And he would have liked to deliver better news to them all. But he couldn't. He could only tell them to wait and see. That he had done everything within reason as a doctor and that all they could do now was waiting. The next 48 hours were crucial.

"Can I see her?" Hank needed to see her. Well, he needed to assure himself that she was still there - that she was breathing and her heart was still beating.

"She hasn't woken up yet, and-"

"Can I see her? I need to see her, please," Hank interrupted the doctor. He wanted to see Kim not as her Sergeant but as the man who loved her.

Dr Rhodes also seemed to realize this now, how important Kim really was to Hank, and took him to the ICU without further argument.

Hank had clearly felt the looks of the team when he so vehemently demanded to see Kim. However, it didn't matter to him. Only Kim mattered. He would worry about the team and any explanations later. Eventually. And that was why he had ignored them all. Erin, who had brought him a coffee. Al, who had tried to say words of comfort to him. Trudy, who had looked at him so distraught. Like, filled with so much guilt.

Yet none of them had mattered to Hank at that moment.

Slowly, Hank walked toward the bed. Kim was lying alone in a room, intubated and hooked up to all sorts of machines that monitored her vital signs and could alert if necessary if her condition worsened.

It hurt Hank's heart to see her like this. She looked pale, but she was alive. And that was all that mattered at the moment. He sat down on a chair by her bed and gently reached for her hand - it was quite cold.

"Kim, sweetheart, I need you to fight. I, I need you. . And when I saw you there earlier, the bullet wound in your chest, I, I thought my heart would stop. And I was going to lose you," Hank broke off.

He still found it hard to talk about his feelings. There had been no one in his life for too long to talk to about what was bothering him, what he was feeling. Until Kim came along. It had taken weeks until the three magic words had crossed his lips for the first time. Whereas weeks, no actually it had been months until he had said it to her. The first kiss had happened quite sooner.

Hank could still remember it - the first kiss. That kiss had started the whole thing somehow. Well, it had started with a piece of cake. And whipped cream at the corner of his mouth. In a diner. And that hadn't even been a date. But it had been a beginning - of something wonderful.

Hank was so lost in the memory of their first kiss that he didn't even notice how, at one point, the door opened and someone entered the room.

It was Al, coming to check on Hank. Checking on Hank and Kim. Al had to see for himself that the young woman was doing well. Oh, fine, considering the circumstances. And that his best friend was not doing anything stupid.

Wordlessly, Al stepped towards the bed.

He was waiting, waiting for Hank to talk to him. For Hank to tell him what was on his mind. Even if Al already had a rough idea, why the serious injury of the young officer had hit him so hard. Still, he wanted to hear it from Hank - when Hank was ready. And until then, he would watch over Hank.

"She's so cold and pale. . . What if she doesn't wake up? I mean, what if she doesn't open her eyes and smile at ME ever again? I don't know if I- . . I need her" Hank broke off.

Al could clearly hear the desperation in Hank's voice. He had already witnessed this desperation once, no twice. First after Camille's death and then when Justin died. But both times there had still been one person in his life who didn't let Hank sink completely into the pit of despair. Someone who didn't let him completely lose his will to live. But this time . . . it wouldn't be enough that Al, as his best friend, was still there. That Erin was still there. If Kim were to die, then Hank Voight would be gone, too. And that knowledge hit Al like a punch in the gut.

Without a word, he stepped behind his best friend and put his hand on his shoulder.

This was his way of letting him know that he was there for him. For that he didn't need an explanation. I mean, just for that thing that was between his best friend and the young woman. At least it was obvious for him. Hank Voight was in love with Kim Burgess.