Chapter 13

Three days later, Kim had an appointment at Chicago Med. With Dr. Charles. He was supposed to help her get her memories back - but Kim was starting to feel like the appointments with Dr. Charles weren't getting her anywhere. After all, she still didn't know who she had forgotten.

Outside Chicago Med, Kim bumped into Sarah Reese.

"Hi Kim," she greeted.

"Hi."

"On your way to see Dr. Charles?" Sarah inquired, but she already knew the answer. She knew that Kim was going to see Dr. Charles today. Something Sarah didn't like. She had fought with Dr. Charles more than once about Kim's treatment. Sarah felt it was time to confront Kim about the things she had forgotten. It was time for Kim to remember. Everything.

After all, Sarah knew the story of Hank and Kim. Connor, her boyfriend, had told her. He had told her about his encounters with the Sergeant from Intelligence. And Sarah herself had noticed the sad look on Hank Voight's face more than once. Even if Dr. Charles was sometimes right, in this case, Sarah wanted to help the two of them.

Was that so wrong?

"Dr. Charles is still busy in the ER - what do you say we have a coffee together while you wait for him?" Sarah suggested spontaneously. She wanted to find out for herself whether Kim was starting to remember. Whether fragments of her memory were back.

Kim nodded. And so, a moment later, the two women were sitting together in the cafeteria of Chicago Med, each with a cup of coffee in front of her.

"Kim, how are you?"

"Fine."

"And the memories?"

"They'll come back to me when the time is right, at least that's what Dr. Charles said."

Sarah nodded. Yes, that definitely sounded like Dr. Charles.

"And what do you think?"

"I-"

"Kim, what do you think? Is Dr. Charles right? I mean, that the memories will come back when the time is right? Or do you think you should try something else to remember?"

Kim hesitated. Actually, she should trust the doctors, they knew best what she needed, but on the other hand - only a few days ago she had told Kevin about her greatest fear. And maybe Sarah had some advice for Kim, too. Knew something she could do to make this feeling go away. So that she finally remembered. Who or whatever. Somehow Kim didn't even care if they were bad memories - she just wanted to know what she had forgotten.

"I, well, I want to finally remember. I know there's something I've forgotten and that I should remember, need to remember. And I feel like talking to Dr. Charles isn't getting me anywhere. That there is someone who has all the answers. Only I don't know who that is, at least-" Kim broke off.

"At least?" Sarah suspected that Kim had a hunch. That fragments of her memory may really have returned, Kim just wasn't able to put them together properly yet. And it was now up to Sarah to help her put the pieces together until they formed a picture. Until Kim could remember everything.

Kim sighed. What was the best way to explain this? The feeling that kept creeping up on her. The fear that at some point it would be too late.

"I emptied all the cupboards in my apartment. I was looking for something, a mug or a T-shirt, a book, anything to help me remember. Something that belongs to him."

" To him?"

"I think I had a relationship. Or at least - well, friends with benefits," Kim then explained. She briefly wondered whether she should show Sarah the photo. The photo of Hank and her. However, that was too personal for Kim to share. She needed to find out for herself. The meaning of this photo.

And while Sarah was talking to Kim, it was someone else who was trying to talk some sense into Hank. At least Al was trying to.

"You can't lie to her forever! At some point, Burgess will remember you and that you were lovers."

"And then she'll be in love with another man."

" Only you think that."

"Al, I've made up my mind. I'm not going to tell Kim the truth - I've lost enough people I've loved who have died and-"

"So that's what this is about," Al slowly realized why his friend was acting this way.

Hank had lost Camille to cancer. And now that he had let another woman into his heart, he had realized how quickly he could lose her.

Al had hoped that the night he had sent Kim to Hank with the photo, that his friend would finally tell Kim the truth. That he'd explain to her why he'd kept quiet for so long, why he'd lied to her. But now - Al realized that it would take a miracle to convince Hank to abandon his idiotic plan. What a stubborn man!

"Yes, that's exactly what it's about. I lost Camille and the day I saw Kim in hospital - hooked up to the machines, I realized what it means to be with me. All I bring to the people I love, who love me, is pain and death. And I'd rather let Kim go than let her die. Rather than have her taken from me - by a bullet. Because I don't know if Kim will have the same guardian angel next time. All I know is that I want her to live."

"Hank-"

"Save your words - I've made up my mind. I'm not going to change my mind."

Al shook his head in disbelief. He should have intervened earlier. Back then, when he had witnessed Hank packing up Kim's things, he should have said something. He should have stopped his friend from making the biggest mistake of his life.

And now it seemed too late. Nevertheless, Al would not give up. And he hoped Kim wouldn't either. He hoped she would fight - to get her memories back and to get Hank back. For Al was sure that Kim was the best thing that could ever happen to Hank.

His thoughts haunted Al until he got home. Right up until Meredith noticed. She realized that her husband was quieter than usual. That something seemed to be bothering him.

"Are you ok?" she asked anxiously. She knew that her husband didn't talk much about his work and yet she couldn't help but ask. And to worry. Like every wife of a cop did.

" Yeah", he said. But Meredith didn't believe him. She knew her husband well.

"Everything all right with the team? With the young cop who was shot a while ago? You told me she was already back on duty."

Al hesitated. Meredith knew him too well. She knew that something was bothering him. And she suspected it had to do with Kim Burgess.

Still, he couldn't talk about it - about Kim and Hank, about the mistake his best friend had made - not even to his wife. At least not without betraying Hank's trust. Well, he shouldn't do it.

And yet he told her what was bothering him: "Hank is about to make a mistake and there's nothing I can do but stand by and watch."

"Hank's old enough, he'll know what he's doing."

"I don't think so."

"But there's nothing you can do but wait. And then, when Hank realizes what a mistake he made, be there for him. If he lets you, anyway."

Al nodded. That's what he would do.

All the same, he hoped that Hank would come to his senses.