Book 4: Light and Darkness

by ButtonPusherExtraordinaire

Air's murder was a symptom. The Great War was over, but the Greater War endured. The Realms are imbalanced, and Air's loss is but a sign. Years after Sozin's Comet, The Avatar's most ancient enemy reminds The Avatar of his existence. Lies and truths are disordered as the roots are infected from the chaos, to which The Avatar was ignorant. Things must change. The cycle must end. AU!

6. Doubt

Thank you for the reviews. I appreciate them.

Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar the Last Airbender

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Her eyes fluttered open, Agni's rising light pulsing in her heart, rousing her from the depths of her slumber. Her room was empty, and images from the previous night flooded her mind, and she remembered. Jumping to her feet, she looked around the room for Aang, but he was nowhere to be seen—and neither was Appa or Momo. Fear and outrage, in equal measure, attacked her mind. Had he broken his promise? Had he lied, deciding to fly off to Ba Sing Se on his own in the dead of night?

Azula's breathing did not waver but something inside her did at the potential possibility that Aang had done those things. And it was at that moment when she realized how much she had come to rely on his soothing presence; already, with the likelihood of his departure, she could feel her perception revert, her mind changing to something incomplete and fractured. It was nothing like what happened at the Great War, but all the freedom she had procured since her 'escape' was gone—because Aang was gone. He gave her freedom, but he never realized that he could take that freedom from her.

It was just as she feared! It was why she nominated herself for Mother of Air, tying him—and Air and, thus, freedom—to her forever!

But she had to be sure he was gone to Ba Sing Se without her.

Azula hastened to the door and yanked it open, glaring at the Imperial Firebenders. "Where is The Avatar?"

"Princess Azula!"

"Where is he?"

The Imperial Firebenders glanced at each other, and she knew shock was carved into their faces based on their postures, specifically since they subtly adjusted their stances—preparation for an attack or defense.

"Why does it matter, Princess?" one asked carefully.

The monster she was so long ago resurrected in her heart, and she felt her golden eyes blaze as sapphire flames crackled across her fingers. "It matters if you value your life."

The other Imperial Firebender stiffened. "Princess Azula- "

"It would feel invigorating to kill you both, to feel your lives flee at the experience of my power. And Fire Lord Zuko would never know. Who would miss two Imperial Firebenders?"

"Why must you- "

The flames surged across her hands, covering them like armor. "Where is Avatar Aang?"

The guards risked a glance at each other, and one of them deflated. "We do not know why you were in the Avatar's quarters during the night- "

"Nor will you spend time speculating on why," Azula interrupted harshly, trying to maintain her control. "I will not be known as the Whore of the Four Nations."

The Wife of the Four Nations sounded more sophisticated and cultured.

"- but Avatar Aang left his quarters incredibly early this morning with his… sky bison and the… um, the other animal."

"Winged-Lemur," she supplied swiftly, not giving the guards a chance to fabricate a story.

"Of course. But Avatar Aang left his chambers before Agni rose. We were concerned for his health, but he dismissed us, commanding us to continue guarding his room."

"He said he needed to speak with Fire Lord Zuko," the other added.

The sapphire flames waned in her hands as she inhaled slowly. "Thank you. I commend your articulation under threat, for which I… apologize," she said, feeling tense and awkward—she hated it! "I failed in my endeavor for tranquility."

"You seemed quite tranquil, Princess Azula," one of the Imperial Firebenders said.

The other nodded. "A terrifying tranquil."

Once, such praise would have had her promoting them, but she only felt ashamed and weak. How had she come to rely on Aang's presence so much that, with the mere thought that he left her, she regressed in her progress to such an extent that she sought slaughter?

Father would despise her. But if Father despised her, that was a good thing! She rationally knew that, but emotionally, she still felt the impulse to seek Father's approval. But she needed to stop! Father scorched Zuko's face and always held the threat of doing the same to her if she failed over her head. It did not matter if Father would despise the notion that she relied on Aang. For she found such a reliance not unforgivable; she merely needed to work on her mental strength with Aang's help until she could maintain her freedom without him. It would also help, of course, if she was Mother of Air—and Wife of the Four Nations.

She enjoyed the thought of those titles more than she ever enjoyed Princess. With Princess, there was expectation and demands for perfection or else deformity to her face; with the other two, there was freedom and, hopefully, serenity.

She would have time to convince Aang of the legitimacy of her proposal and rational nomination. Not even The Avatar could defeat such logic—she was convinced!

"I meant a different calm," Azula replied. "Take the rest of the day off; consider it my formal apology for my excessive threats."

"But Fire Lord Zuko- "

She smirked, hoping her voice was light and not ashamed. "Who would miss two Imperial Firebenders?"

Silence.

One turned to the other. "I heard Prince Iroh gushing about this tea shop outside of the palace; apparently, it was so good he invested in it, and he made me promise I would try it."

"I could go for tea."

Azula bowed her head, not even surprised by Uncle's exploits. "Enjoy the tea."

"Thank you, Princess Azula."

She turned around and swiftly marched to Zuko's private study, knowing that Aang would be there—unless he lied. Her stride gained speed, for, despite the relief of the guards' words, she knew how gifted of a liar Aang was. It would not surprise her—only infuriate her—if he lied. He took Appa and Momo with him to 'visit' the Fire Lord!

Azula found one of the secret passages and wasted no time as she entered, the door soundless. Maneuvering through the secret passages was always a skill that she had possessed, but now, she had never been more thankful for it. When she came across the panel that would lead to the Fire Lord's private study chambers, she did not hesitate, uncaring if her actions might look like that of a threat. The door opened suddenly, creating a gust of small wind, which brushed against her flesh.

At the gust of wind, she realized she was still in only her night robe. The thought of such a breach in propriety delighted her—she would not be controlled again! She could be free!

But it was not important. Was Aang in the private study?

She burst through the now-open door, hearing the last of a conversation: "- with me."

Two pairs of eyes—one gray and one golden—whirled around to face her, both unsurprised, but the golden set looked a little wary.

Relief erupted through her as Aang quickly looked concerned, eyes roaming her body; forgetting her outerwear was an excellent mistake. "Are you alright?"

Azula blinked, finally registering the obvious. "You changed."

Aang glanced down at himself in confusion before smiling back at her. "Oh, my clothes. I thought I should change into something that would make Kuei more agreeable."

"You did look imposing in Fire Nation garments," she admitted, but she mentally admitted that he looked more attractive in Air Nomad garbs; she was unsure why she found it so. "But the Air Nomad look suits you."

"Of course," he agreed. "And I need Kuei to think of me as more Airbender than Firebender; it needs to look like I'm more on his side."

Zuko nodded. "Good thinking."

"But you kept your hair," she added, hoping the relief in her voice was not obvious; based on Zuko's tilting of his head, she failed—damn!

Aang grinned and stretched his covered arms, bathed in dark yellow fabric. "I should try to have some anonymity; I quite like it."

Azula nodded, unable to contain her brief smile of relief that he had not flown to Ba Sing Se. "Did you sleep at all?"

"No. How did you?"

"Considering you vanished without waking me, you know how deeply I slept."

Zuko's face twisted. "You slept together?"

Azula scoffed. "You spend too much time with your whores, Brother. Aang slept- "

"I didn't sleep."

"- on the floor while I slept in the bed."

"I don't want to know," her brother muttered, shaking his head.

Azula only smirked and sat down in one of the chairs, aware of how Aang's eyes lingered on her for a moment too long; she should wear a nightgown more often. "Do not mind me," she said, waving her hand. "Carry on with your previous conversation. It sounded important."

Zuko frowned and rubbed his forehead, exhausted, as he turned to Aang. "I think that'd be the best option, especially with what happened last night. But why not the others?"

"Because they'd get in the way," Aang answered, and Azula understood the topic of conversation. "They'd stop me from doing what I need to do and ask too many questions, making the situation worse. They'd try to persuade me actually to surrender Azula to Kuei. At least Toph will go along with whatever I decide to do—even if she'll grumble about it the entire time."

Her brother snorted. "It sounds like she'd kill Kuei for me if I asked her to; she hates him."

"She should," Azula added, tilting her chin pridefully. "From whom does he descend beyond thieves and whores that gives him such audacity to claim that he should oversee an heir of Sozin's demise?"

"Probably some successful whores," Zuko mused.

Azula smirked, delighted. "Well, you would know all about successful whores, Zuzu. What else is a whore but successful when she entertains the Fire Lord himself? Probably extra warm, I imagine."

Aang glanced at Zuko, brows raised. "That bad?"

Zuko threw his hands in the air in exasperation, matching the look on his face. "Those whores are better company than you, Azula."

"I should hope so," she replied seriously. "The thought of laying with you disgusts me. That would be like Fire Lord Kazuki and his daughter—but worse!"

Her brother stared at her, unimpressed. "You know what I mean."

"You are not always the most logical."

"Neither are you," Zuko retorted in disbelief. "You realize that if you go to Ba Sing Se to appear before Kuei, you'll be killed on sight, don't you? I have literally been fighting a war to keep you safe, and now you just want to walk into Ba Sing Se's palace with Aang? That makes no sense."

Azula smirked. "The Avatar has yet to abandon his position as my bodyguard. No one, not even Spineless Kuei, has the temerity to face Aang's wrath, which will be substantial if harm comes to me."

Zuko glanced at Aang, something curious on his face. "Is that true?"

Aang shrugged. "I'm not going actually to hand her over if that's what you fear. Kuei will either accept my judgment or not. Azula will be safe. Nothing's going to happen."

"And if my father and Dark are there?"

Something ancient crossed over Aang's face, and it made Azula feel eager. "Then something will happen."

Zuko patted Aang's shoulder and squeezed warmly. "Well, I'll be honest—I hope something happens so all of this can be finished. If we can end this before it gets any bigger, it's perfect, and we need to end it."

Aang nodded. "I agree."

Azula waved a hand. "Father will not be there; he is not foolish. He will never reveal himself to Aang, even with Dark emboldening him. He knows what a child Aang did to him, and he has a suspicion of what an adult Aang could do to him."

Zuko frowned. "You seem awfully sure- "

"He lost his firebending to a child," she stressed. "I know Father. He would not face Aang so swiftly after he regained his firebending—if he has regained it. Aang is a man now, and Father must surely realize that fact."

"I'm more worried about Kuei," Aang cut in. "Ozai spent years thinking about vengeance in his cell, but he's only had three months to act on those thoughts. Kuei's had eight years to act on his vengeful thoughts, putting things in place. He's been planning this. And I'm stopping it now."

Azula watched him approach the door and stood to her feet.

"Stay for a minute, Azula," Zuko said, a clear order.

"It's alright," Aang assured. "It will probably be better if I tell the others you're coming with me if you're not there."

"Prudent," she commended.

Aang left the room, leaving her alone with her brother.

Zuko stared at her, something inscrutable on his face—even to her eyes. "What's your game?" he asked, voice curious but not quite judgmental.

"Meaning?"

"With Aang," he clarified, voice sharpening. "With The Avatar?"

"I am going with him to Ba Sing Se to lower Spineless Kuei's guard- "

"He told me you 'nominated yourself' for Mother of Air."

Azula sat straighter. "And?"

"What's your game?" Zuko asked, eyes narrowing. "What's the tactic? Why?"

"Why not?" she challenged. "Surely it has occurred to you, Zuzu, that such a marriage helps pay Fire's debt to Air."

"That's not the reason."

"It is honorable."

"That's my vice, not yours."

Azula scoffed. "No, our vice is each lust—yours for flesh, mine for power."

"Stop trying to distract me," her brother warned, and she realized this went deeper than she initially thought. "What are you doing, Azula?"

"Giving Aang an excellent, prudent option to solve his problem and fulfill his deepest yearning."

Zuko shook his head. "He doesn't believe you at all, and I'm not sure to believe you."

"I will convince him."

"How?"

"It is rational," she defended. "I am fond of him, and I know he is fond of me. It is perfect."

"Perfect for you- "

"Perfect for us both. I cannot conceive a worthier Mother of Air than myself."

Zuko's only brow rose. "And you don't think that's more a limit of your imagination than actual fact?"

Azula's brow rose. "Do you hold that low an opinion of me, Zuzu?"

"Sometimes."

"Fair enough," she agreed. "But who else should be Mother of Air? Whom should be the Wife of the Four Nations but me?"

"You're the heir of Fire right now."

Azula smirked. "Despite your extensive efforts with your whores."

Zuko rolled his eyes. "Charming."

"Is that what your whores tell you when you woo them?"

"I don't woo them; I order them."

"Charming," she teased.

He sighed. "You're too casual to sit on the Dragon's Throne anyway."

"It is too restrictive. I yearn for freedom, and Aang has shared it with me; he has taught me many things."

"So, you'd give up your chance to sit on the Dragon's Throne?"

Azula laughed. "Do you know how much power I would have to sacrifice to sit on the Dragon's Throne? I hold The Avatar's affection, and that is priceless. I could command Heaven."

"But you don't hold The Avatar's trust."

"I did until I nominated myself for Mother of Air. I will earn—re-earn—his trust."

Zuko stared at her, something astonished on his face. "You're serious."

"Yes. I am most fond of him, and I enjoy him unlike anyone else I have ever encountered. And I understand the demands of a burden; I understand expectation; I understand the grueling nature of imposed perfection."

"But he doesn't believe that you're serious."

Azula looked away. "I do not know why."

Zuko sighed. "Everything and everyone he's ever known has left him in one way or another; he is more familiar with loss than anyone in history. Why wouldn't you leave him?"

She blinked, startled. "Because he is The Avatar."

"You're blinded by the power of The Avatar- "

"Aang is The Avatar, and I am most fond of both."

Zuko tilted his head. "You know the difference?"

Azula rolled her eyes. "Of course. With whom do you think I lived on Ember Island? Aang. I only saw The Avatar yesterday with those peasants, and The Avatar is most delicious—as is Aang. The Avatar is a delightful addition to Aang."

"I doubt he feels the same."

"I know he does not."

"What are you going to do?"

"Prove my authenticity to him," Azula declared, hoping she sounded more confident than she felt. How was she supposed to prove her authenticity if, after five months on Ember Island, he still doubted her? Although she only conceived her idea the past day, Aang should trust her after everything. Or perhaps she thought that because she trusted him completely, he trusted her completely. "I shall prove that I am genuine in my claim."

"Claim?"

"My claim for the Mother of Air. I shall prove myself to him that out of all the fertile women in the world who hold a claim- "

"Which is every fertile woman."

"- it is me who fulfills all requirements more completely than any other, and I will fulfill each with zeal, for I am most fond of him."

Zuko's brow furrowed. "Are you substituting Aang for Father?"

Azula scoffed. "Of course not. My motivation to prove myself to Father was fear; my motivation to prove myself to Aang is something else."

"Something else?" he asked, eyes almost knowing.

Azula refused to be cowed. "Attraction, I suppose," she admitted. "He has matured into a beautiful man. I look for that boy I once battled, and he is nowhere to be found."

Zuko's face shadowed; something mournful shone in his eyes. "Nowhere to be found in so many ways. I loved that boy; he was my friend. And Aang still is my friend—my only friend—but there was something pure inside that boy, even with all the grief and non-understanding; he was once joyful and light. Now he's distant and grim. I'm pretty sure that if he was this age when he entered that iceberg, he would have never tried to be my friend; I think he would have simply killed me—and everyone. I think there would be no Fire Nation."

She remembered some of the moments on Ember Island when that boy was there again. "I saw flashes of that boy, and I wonder if it was the memory of that boy that evoked his belief in me. I did nothing to deserve it, but he gave me that belief—and not because of familial loyalty, like you and Mother."

"It's who he is."

Azula looked away, afraid of what Zuko might see on her face. "I want to help," she confessed. "I want to give him Air. He gave me something I thought impossible—understanding. He understands. And he is so complex; he is endlessly interesting. He helped me. You did, as well, but he- "

"I know," Zuko interrupted, voice soft, and his eyes were kind. "I don't know if it's because he's The Avatar, but- "

"No," she said, adamant. "I spoke with Avatar Kirku, an Avatar who reigned eight thousand years ago or so, and, of course, there were similarities—many of them. But there were differences. All of Aang's past lives are Aang, but Aang is not all his past lives."

Zuko blinked hard. "What?"

Azula sighed. "I know. I have asked him many times to describe his relationship with his past lives, and that is how he explained it every time. And it was not The Avatar who helped me; it was not The Avatar who understands me and made an extensive effort to listen and advise; it was not The Avatar who slept on the floor in my room because of my terrors in sleep; it was not The Avatar who crushed opponents in volleyball; and it was not The Avatar who made me feel free. Aang let me be and let me make my own decisions; he could have forced himself on me, physically and mentally, but he did not. He let me be. He told me that I could run away and start over—and that he would let me do it if that is what I wanted to do. He said he would join me if it were possible. And it was all Aang, and there was no judgment. At first, all I saw was The Avatar—or what I perceived as The Avatar—who holds the power of the world in his hands, which is most enticing, but that was inconsequential in the end. The Avatar drew me in because of my curiosity, but Aang made me stay because of my yearning. I could be Azula, unburdened by demands of perfection and political expectations for Princess, and he could be Aang, free, for a time, from the burdens of The Avatar. Of course, I am beyond curious about The Avatar State and seeing his true power, but if that curiosity is never satisfied, I shall be okay—because I will have Aang."

Silence

"You have great understanding," Zuko commented, at last, spacing his words, looking at her, startled.

"And I want more. But Aang understood me because he wanted to," she confessed, feeling something vulnerable thrum in her chest. "There was no ploy; there was no game; there was no trick; there was no demand; there was no expectation." Azula exhaled shakily, the sudden onslaught of emotions surprising her. "There was only patience and understanding; there was only intrigue and insights; there was only Aang."

Zuko tilted his head, frowning. "And you feel a debt to 'pay him back' for- "

She shook her head. "No. I want to. Aang wanted to understand me, and so he did. I want to understand him, and I am on my way to that understanding, but I know I will never understand him as he understands me."

"The Avatar," Zuko murmured almost sadly.

"And Last of Air," she added. "And the more I think about it, truly ruminate on and consider, the more horrified and shaken I feel about the fact that our lineage is responsible."

"We were responsible for so many horrors against the other nations- "

Azula sneered, lips twisting. "I do not give a damn about the other nations. To be as blunt as the non-bending peasant, fuck the other nations, particularly Earth."

"I suppose," her brother muttered, thinking clearly of Spineless Kuei.

"But Air?" she whispered, feeling that longing. "It is miraculous, and we raped it. We pilfered the world of that genius, that transcendent yearning for something more—freedom. Aang has shared things about Air and those he knew, and I am in awe. I am suspicious, of course, but I am in awe."

Zuko's brow rose. "Suspicious?"

"He perfected them in his mind," Azula dismissed, waving a hand. "It is how we perfected Father, Grandfather, and Sozin without ever realizing their excessive flaws—except Grandfather, of course. Grandfather was much better than Father and Sozin."

Her brother nodded, quiet for several moments. "And you want to do the honorable thing by helping bring back Air. You're not lying."

"Air must return, and I adore Air. I adore Fire, of course, but there is something nameless with Air." Azula looked away, focusing on the bookshelf and portraits on the wall. "I want peace, Zuko; I want peace. I want serenity. I cannot shoot lightning anymore."

"At least you could once shoot it," her brother muttered.

"I was only able to shoot it because I emptied myself of everything," she whispered. "There was only a void—the demand for perfection. I ripped out everything inside myself that could compromise me in Father's eyes, and it was not peace; there was no serenity, only emptiness, allowing me to harness lightning—because my mind was, literally, empty of all things that could distract. And it took me years to do that." Azula looked back at her brother, still feeling the astonishment in her mind. "I first attempted lightning after your banishment when I was eleven, and I did not first fire lightning until I was fifteen. Aang mastered lightning in a single attempt—because he is of Air. Air is serenity, an instinctual acceptance of what is. I want that; I need it. I yearn for peace, something I never had. You had years with Uncle, but I had no one—no reprieve. Aang gave me that reprieve because he wanted to—because he decided to trust me even when I did nothing to deserve it. Anyone else in the world besides you and Mother—and perhaps Uncle—would have tried to kill me or surrendered me to Spineless Kuei. He gave me that freedom for which I never knew I yearned."

"I'm glad."

"I want to be better," Azula stressed. "I do not mean perfect. I want maturity and understanding—for I had neither as a girl."

Zuko's only brow rose in intrigue. "You seemed quite mature, and your understanding was always beyond mine- "

"Understanding is the pursuit of something, a stretching of your perception to incorporate things once unknown to you," she interrupted, remembering Aang's wisdom that his father—mentor—Gyatso told him. "I never had understanding, which is the beginning of enlightenment. And I seemed mature, but it was only my immaturity, my inability to do anything but survive my terror living under Father by changing myself to please him, to attempt to mitigate my incessant fear—most immature," she acknowledged. "Most weak. If I had actual confidence and strength of spirit and conviction, a will of my own, I would have confronted all of that, but I never did. If I was mature, I would have never descended into insanity."

"I'm glad you ascended out of it."

"As am I, but it required understanding, which I lacked for a long time—that I still lack in many ways. I once enjoyed the fear I provoked; I basked in it—because then it was no longer just me afraid. I wanted everyone afraid of me so I would never be alone again. But I do not want to be feared; I want to be free." She gestured to the expanse of the Fire Lord's private study. "I hate being here."

Zuko's face twisted in sad understanding. "I know."

"I hate the palace."

"I know."

"I want to burn it all down."

"I know."

Azula let the flames coat her hands. "But Sozin burned the Air Temples; he committed an atrocity so severe that no one—no one but one—can ever comprehend it. I love the blood in my veins—I adore the blood in my veins, for it is perfect—but in the blood of my veins is Sozin's whispers, an echo of the slaughter—a word that does not compromise the magnitude of the horror and moral terror—against Freedom, the mandate of conquest and death to all of Air. When you spill so much blood of others, it infects your own blood, cursing you and your descendants. Do you not feel it?"

Zuko looked old. "I feel it. I've felt it for a long time. That dark inheritance lurks in our blood, whispering in our ears—Sozin's anthem to conquest."

"I love my blood, but I wonder at the blood in my veins that supplies me life. Father always said our glory is due to Sozin's seed and that all our power had its innermost source in Sozin's seed, the very blood that supplies us with life. But I cannot help but wonder if Sozin's blood in my veins that supplies me life was only possible because of all the other lives he ended." Something shuddered in her chest. "What if all the Air Nomads were like Aang? What if they were all so joyful, complex, and intelligent as him? Aang said they were lovers of Life, and I understand. Fighting is always necessary and always will be, but I have begun to understand that there is something transcendent in observing—being—rather than doing. The Air Nomads could have acted, but they observed, and, because of it, I suspect they saw things as they truly are. Air was transcendent, and Sozin pulled them down and cast them into the abyss of non-existence. All that exists is that which endures in the minds of mortals, and Air does not exist because no one remembers; Air is forgotten, Zuko—because of Sozin. I yearn for an understanding of Air, but I shall never have it fully, unlike Aang—and unlike Aang's children when he sires them."

"Through you," Zuko added after several moments, assessing her.

Azula shrugged, smiling tightly as she recalled his hostility and doubt towards her from the moment she nominated herself. "If he accepts my nomination. All women want a great man- "

"And all men want a good woman," her brother finished knowingly.

"Yes. And I work to be a good woman," she confessed. "I work to be someone admirable in all facets, not merely tactically and in bending. Aang is a great man, behind which exists a good man. I want to be someone who can stand next to him and not be out of place; I want to be someone who can be part of Air and know that beauty, freedom, and transcendence that Sozin raped. I want to help him bring back Air into the memory of mortals."

Silence.

Zuko ran a hand over his face in disbelief and wonder. "You've thought about this a lot."

Azula felt tired. "I thought deeply about each part individually before it all came together recently."

"And Aang helped you do that?"

She nodded. "He helped me see there is more to the world and to Life; there is so much more than only me and my limited understanding. Air understood that and pursued something more—that transcendence, that enlightenment. And I know he strives for that, to be more like Air, but I know he fails."

"I think we all do," Zuko mused. "And maybe Air was more successful than anyone else, but they failed, too—in different ways, I imagine."

"There should be more of Aang in the world," she whispered. "There should be more of Air."

Zuko smiled. "Maybe there should be more of you in the world, too. It takes a lot for anyone to come as far as you have. Look at the differences; look at everything you've learned and realized. Think about the strides you've made."

"I will make more."

"I believe you."

Azula sighed. "I need Aang to believe me. He is remarkable at listening, but when it comes to Air, his race, and himself, he reacts and challenges."

Her brother nodded. "I imagine he needs that. If he's actively challenging notions about his race against those who doubt his veracity, somehow, they are still alive; somehow, they are still here rather than that abyss Sozin sent them into."

Silence.

"I think it is safe now to enter the dining hall," she mused, summoning a small smirk to try to dissuade her mournful feelings about Air. "Will you join me?"

Zuko shook his head. "No, I need to finish some work. I'm preparing for an all-out war if Kuei refuses to stop. And I still have agents looking for Father."

"Prudent," she commended, voice drifting as she summoned her honesty. "If I do not see you before we leave, thank you, Zuko."

Her brother blinked in surprise. "Why?"

"For sticking with me," Azula whispered. "For being my brother; for fighting for me and giving me this chance."

"You would have done the same for me."

"No, I would not have."

She watched as no surprise flashed across his face, only resigned acceptance. "I know."

Azula stood taller, trying to diffuse the tension. "I will not allow Spineless Kuei to take another hair from your head."

Zuko's eyes widened in dismay, and his hands flew up to his head, probing and searching. "Is it really falling out?"

"It was metaphorical," she stressed, rolling her eyes. "But I will help Aang ensure that Spineless Kuei stands down and offers you reparations for all his madness."

"The only reparation I really want is his head," her brother muttered. "But I'll take peace. Thank you, Azula. And be careful. Do not provoke anyone."

Azula held a hand over her heart. "Me? I provoke only marvel when anyone gazes upon me, not ire."

"You're provoking my ire now," Zuko drawled.

She smirked. "You have always been most easy, Zuzu."

"And this is where you point out it's no wonder I have so many whores."

"You forget your standard reaction of crossing your arms and brooding."

Zuko's brow cocked, eyes flashing with amusement. "And you forget your place."

"Which is to go to Ba Sing Se with Aang," she said, walking to the door. "I must confess to my excitement to see The Avatar order the King of Ba Sing Se to stand down and repent for his gross conduct. And even though Father will not be there, I hope he is, for Aang will undoubtedly enter The Avatar State."

"Your curiosity's going to kill you one day."

Azula smiled. "But what a way to die—by The Avatar's power. Is there a more worthy death?"

"A more painless one, I'd imagine."

Azula opened the door, ignoring the Imperial Firebenders as she glanced back at her brother, feeling a surge of fondness for him. "May Agni smile on you forever, Fire Lord Zuko."

"And on you, Princess Azula."

She closed the door, said nothing to the Imperial Firebenders, and approached the dining hall, feeling the memories of the corridors slam against her. Once, she embraced the fear, holding onto it, changing her, but now she merely accepted it and let it go—it was not useful, not now. Not when the peasants would no doubt attack her if they sensed her immaturity.

And though she knew he would never say it, she knew Aang would be disappointed if she began to revert to the girl of the Great War. The thought of disappointing Father always filled her with a terror that resulted in eradicating the 'weak' parts of herself not to disappoint. However, the thought of disappointing Aang provoked something somber inside her. She did not want to disappoint him, but she knew she already had, particularly with her nomination for Mother of Air.

"What do you mean Azula is going with you?" the Water Tribes peasant-bitch demanded, her voice carrying past the dining hall as Azula approached. "You said you were going by yourself!"

Azula realized that Aang took much longer to notify the peasants of the change in plans, and she entered the dining hall, unseen by everyone but the blind Earthbender, whose head tilted toward her, but nothing happened. She watched as Aang rubbed stiff fingers against his forehead, over his arrowhead, brushing past his hair.

"I changed my mind- "

"No, you didn't!" the Water Tribes peasant-bitch shouted. "She changed your mind!"

"And if she did?"

The Water Tribes peasant-bitch flailed, flinging her arms outward with the force of her emotion. "She's just doing it so she has more of a chance to attack you!"

Azula reckoned that the peasants felt freer to express their vitriol without Zuko or Uncle in the room—nor Mother, but none of them knew Mother's identity. With Aang, they did not believe him capable of snapping. But she knew differently.

It could swiftly become explosive.

"Even if she did attack me," Aang said, spacing his words, "I would handle it. She would fail; she can't even touch me if I willed it. I don't need anyone's protection, least of all yours."

"But I could help- "

Aang sighed, and she knew he was mentally reciting the wisdom taught to him by Gyatso, preserving his limited patience. "In case you forgot, since this is the first time we've seen each other in years, I'm The Avatar."

The Water Tribes non-bending peasant scoffed. "And you only claim to be him when it's convenient."

Azula's brows rose in intrigue while Aang turned to look at him. "And you're always blunt when it's not convenient. Say what you clearly want to say."

Suki placed a hand on The Water Tribes non-bending peasant's shoulder, but he did not seem to feel it, glaring. "You have nothing but air in your head."

The ground lurched. "And that's a bad thing?" Aang demanded, voice darkening.

The Water Tribes peasant-bitch's eyes widened in dismay. "No, no- "

"Quiet, Katara," the Water Tribes non-bending peasant interrupted. "You're not going to say it—none of you are going to say it—but I will. Aang, you've lost your senses!"

Aang smiled, and Azula had to admit that it was a gruesome smile; it looked unnatural on his face, and she hated it. And she despised that it was something she shared with the Water Tribes peasant-bitch, who looked nauseous.

"You must have rubbed off on me, Sokka," Aang said, voice twisting. "No common sense, no sense of direction, no sense of humor, no sense of wonder, no sense of Air, and no sense of danger."

"Look at you!" The Water Tribes non-bending peasant shouted, gesturing wildly at Aang in incomprehension. "All that air in your head's made you forget how to be normal! You don't even know how to talk to us!"

"Forget?" Aang echoed. "Where were you for eight years? Where were you while I was- "

The Water Tribes non-bending peasant scoffed in furious disgust. "Stop blaming us! You should have visited! You have Appa! You could've come down whenever you wanted, but you chose not to!"

"Just like you chose not to leave or visit me- "

"How the fuck would we visit an Air Temple without Appa? And Dad told us how you always rejected his offers to travel back from the Great Gatherings with him! Are you going to blame us for that, too?"

"You never wrote- "

"Do you know how difficult it is to get good parchment in the South? We need it for important things like keeping communication open between us and the North! We need it for messaging Kuei! We need it for trade! We certainly don't need parchment because some idiot kid has his bald—oh, I'm sorry, hairy—head up his ass!"

The blind Earthbender's eyes widened in dread, face paling, clearly sensing Aang's precarious state. "Snoozles, shut up."

"No, no, Aang has to- "

"My, my," Azula interjected, voice drifting through the dining hall, mainly to prevent Aang from doing something that he—not she, for she would delight in him slaughtering them—would regret. "And I thought I was arrogant."

The Water Tribes non-bending peasant sneered and glared at her; Azula was unimpressed. "Since we're all being honest here—fuck you. I hope you trip, fall, and die."

"You're still the same," Aang hissed through his teeth, and Azula acutely felt the temperature in the room blaze; the air swirled, the ground rumbled slightly, and the water in the chalices floated in the air. "You haven't changed at all. You're still the same Sokka from eight years ago."

"And you know what? Fuck you, too, Aang!" the Water Tribes non-bending peasant snapped. "I'm sad, too, that Air is gone- "

"No, you're not," he hissed. "How can you be sad about something you never knew?"

"Whatever. It sucks that Air is gone, but you have to grow up!"

"Sokka, stop!" the Water Tribes peasant-bitch yelled, something frantic on her bitch-face. "Stop it!"

"No, Aang doesn't get to treat you—treat all of us—like polardog shit just because his feelings are hurt! Fuck his feelings! You don't hold the authority on suffering, Aang! We all suffer- "

"Would you like to suffer more?" Aang bit out through gritted teeth.

"I think we need to calm down," Suki suggested urgently, eyes darting between them in consideration and worry, and Azula admired her calm. "There is no use in trying to change Aang's mind; he has chosen to take Azula with him."

"I don't care if he takes that bitch with him," the Water Tribes non-bending peasant snapped. "I care that he thinks he can treat us like polardog shit!"

Aang leaned forward. "I care that you think your opinion matters! Believe me, believe me above all, your thoughts are meaningless!"

The Water Tribes non-bending peasant's face twisted in derision. "Because you're The Avatar."

"Yes!"

"Convenient."

"What's convenient is the fact that I don't throw you into the skies and let you fall to your death!"

Silence.

The Water Tribes non-bending peasant blinked before something disbelieving and disgusted crossed his face. "I'm sure those Air Nomads you so worship would be so proud of you- "

The wind slammed against The Water Tribes non-bending peasant, smashing him into his chair, and Azula watched, mesmerized, as Aang stalked forward, smacking aside the Water Tribes peasant-bitch and the blind Earthbender's efforts to stop him; he was The Avatar, not Aang. "You don't get the privilege of speaking of those so far above you they are incomprehensible to your weak mind! Nothing about you is special nor great; you are a mistake." Aang laughed, and it sounded cruel and hysterical, on the verge of distraught. "What I don't understand—what I will never understand—is why you are still here, still living, still existing. Why did someone like you get life where my race didn't? Why is someone so pathetic as you, as everyone in this damned, evil time here, alive where my race, beautiful, genuine, and perfect, isn't? You deserved Sozin's mandate of death, not Air! The world would be so much better if my race were still here rather than a pathetic leader like you!"

"You know all about pathetic leaders, Mr. I-Run-Away-For-A-Century!"

"You know no respect!"

"Get over your loss, Aang!"

"Who did you lose?" Aang roared, flames spurting from his mouth. "Who, Sokka? Who did you lose that gives you such authority? You're the one with his head up his ass!"

The Water Tribes non-bending peasant's hands gripped the sides of his chair—only because Aang allowed him to, Azula knew—as he glared heatedly. "I lost Mom and Yue."

"That's nothing," Aang scoffed, face twisting, and Azula agreed. That was all the unimaginative non-bending peasant lost? How pathetic. "That's not loss; that's reality! Your mother is always going to die, and your first love is always going to die! But a people? An entire race? An entire culture? An entire civilization? An entire way of living? That's loss! You think you have a great understanding of everything, but you only have a great understanding of what is not!"

"You are feebly simple," Azula cut in, voice serene, unaffected by the mounting fury simmering in the air. "But I cannot confess of surprise. You have always seemed simple- "

"Like your opinion matters," The Water Tribes non-bending peasant sneered.

"Her opinion matters," Aang emphasized. "Yours doesn't."

The Water Tribes non-bending peasant pointed a condemning finger at Azula, specifically at a certain part of her anatomy—the point between her legs, the source of her womanhood. "I once thought you were a noble monk, Aang, worthy of all those myths you recited about your race, but you've been so taken in by her snatch that you can't think straight! Maybe you never could! You listen to her? I know sex is great—like great-great—but is the feel of that poisoned snatch so good that you- "

Azula's eyes were frigid. "Poisoned snatch? Surely you speak of your wife, who has borne no child, no heir for the future Chief of Water, after years of marriage. It must be her snatch that is poisoned- "

"You cunt!" The Water Tribes non-bending peasant roared while Suki only looked away, a subtle devastation on her face. The peasant-bitch looked hopeless, like all her dreams of a reunion shattered before her eyes, and Azula basked in that bitch's misery.

"Careful, Sokka," Aang warned. "If it comes to it, I—The Avatar—will take Azula's side over yours."

"Convenient."

Aang turned to the Water Tribes peasant-bitch, the blind Earthbender, and Suki, all of whom were plainly nervous, even the blind Earthbender. "We're leaving. And Toph- "

"Of course, you're always a coward, aren't you, Aang?" the Water Tribes non-bending peasant snapped, eyes frothing with emotion. "You ran away after you learned the truth because you're weak; you're a coward. But when I was that age, I was eager to go off to war and fight! I was willing to do what needed to be done, even it if was terrifying! I was willing to fight—always!"

Aang's fists clenched, the sound audible somehow. "Do you want to fight now?

The Water Tribes non-bending peasant scoffed. "I don't have a death wish- "

"You clearly do, Prince of Water! You have no respect nor understanding!" Aang swiped his hand, and the Water Tribes non-bending peasant sailed across the room and crashed into the wall; he shot a warning look to the Water Tribes peasant-bitch, the blind Earthbender, and Suki before glaring back at the Water Tribes non-bending peasant, who dragged himself to his feet. "You are incapable of saving your life right now; there is nothing you can do, that has its source in you, that continues your existence. Any confrontation against me, if I wanted it, even in the slightest, ends the same—you dead. It is only my restraint that keeps the air in your lungs, which you don't deserve—because you keep fucking talking! You shouldn't poison the air with all the nonsense that comes out of your mouth. My race deserves better. It should be you and everyone like you to ever live who was hunted down and slaughtered, not my race, who was magnificent and perfect."

The Water Tribes non-bending peasant spit out some blood, glaring back. "And we deserve better than some Avatar who's colder than a piece of polardog shit."

"What did you accomplish in your time in the South?" Azula cut in, voice curious and calm, ignoring Aang's frown in her direction.

"I helped rebuild- "

"But did you think?" she asked, voice sharpening. "Did you consider? Did you ruminate? Did you muse? Did you mature in your perceptions? We all know the answer, of course, but answer anyway."

"Fuck you."

"I do not think you have ever asked yourself hard questions," Azula condemned, voice almost musical in its judgment. "If you are to be the Chief of Water, you must recognize complexity. The world is a complex place, and you are not simply a hero because you happened to stumble onto the winning side of the Great War. How juvenile your thinking is. It is so pathetic that I cannot even pity you."

"Don't say another word, Sokka," Aang said swiftly. "Don't. I've had enough. I'm going to leave very shortly, and once I'm gone, spew all your weak words and justifications then. You once asked for me to take a more proactive approach when dealing with Ozai, so I'm following your advice—with you. I don't want to hear you speak your nonsense calling Air 'damned' ever again. If you do, I will make you damned."

Silence.

Azula almost applauded—almost.

Aang turned to the blind Earthbender. "Toph, you're coming with us," he notified flatly.

The blind Earthbender hesitated. "Do I get a choice?"

"No."

"Thought not," she muttered, blowing the bangs out of her eyes, even though it did nothing; perhaps it was a nervous tic, a symptom of her anxiety. Azula cataloged the action.

Aang sighed, shaking his head as he glanced at a pale Water Tribes peasant-bitch. "If you would have given me a chance to explain, there is a reason Azula—and Toph—is coming with me. Azula will make Kuei more agreeable to ending this war- "

"But you're not actually surrendering her to him," the Water Tribes peasant-bitch pointed out, looking displeased. "What happens when he realizes it's a trick?"

"Nothing—because I'm there. Azula is coming as a gesture of goodwill. She will play the role of a prisoner so that Kuei will, hopefully, drop his guard. And Toph is coming to present a united front, making it seem that I'm even more on Kuei's side because she's a Child of Earth. And Zuko needs you all here in case things go from bad to worse. But we should be back in a week or so. Maybe a little longer depending on how long the negotiations take."

Suki frowned next to a sullen Water Tribes non-bending peasant. "What if something goes wrong? What then?"

Aang shook his head. "Nothing will happen, I promise." Momo chattered in agreement with his oath.

"I can't stand the tense air in here." The blind Earthbender's voice cut through the hollowed-feeling room. "Let's get going, Twinkletoes and Lightning Psycho. I'm ready to crush some Dai Li skulls! See you, Sugar Queen and Snoozles! You, too, Fan Girl!"

Azula laughed, impressed by her enthusiasm. "I think you and I will get along nicely."

"Whatever you say, Lightning Psycho."

"You might wish to refrain from calling me that," Azula offered off-handedly. "I hear the air these days is cold and biting."

"It's certainly got quite an echo."

Azula smirked and turned to Aang, but he was already gone.

"He's changed a lot," the blind Earthbender said softly, walking toward her, and they exited to the edge of the room. "I wonder how much of that is your influence."

"My influence on him is minimal."

"We'll see. I didn't ask to be on this trip, but I'm glad I'm coming—because he doesn't deserve to be alone with you."

"Such a thought does not match your actions after the Great War," she retorted, seeking to wound—and evaluate.

"Better than your actions in losing your mind."

Azula felt her grin become predatory. "Oh, you possess all the bluntness of an Earthbender."

"And you possess all the whore-ness of a whore."

"And you know this how?"

"Twinkletoes' heartbeat goes wild whenever he looks at you."

Azula blinked and delighted in such knowledge, but she knew the blind Earthbender was searching for something; she still knew how to play the game, and play the game she would—better than anyone.

"Then surely you must understand that if you should try to harm me, his heart will go even wilder," Azula observed.

The blind Earthbender snorted. "I understand it better than those two," she said, jerking a thumb in the Water Tribes peasants' direction.

"Make sure to preserve your understanding."

"I wonder what Twinkletoes will do when he realizes that you never preserved your 'modesty' and really are a whore."

"Then I must convince him to spare me by wielding my 'whore-ness,'" Azula drawled. "He is a man, after all, and a most beautiful one. Perhaps I should love him from my knees."

The blind Earthbender cracked, face spasming in disgust as she gagged. "Fuck. You win, Lightning Psycho."

"As always."

"Except for against Sugar Queen."

Azula's only smiled, tempted to blow fire into her face, but she refrained. She glanced back into the dining hall and watched Suki whisper something into a stony non-bending peasant, and the peasant-bitch lowered her face into her hands and shook slightly, which only began to increase in speed.

She almost pitied them.

"Aang awaits us," she said, turning away. "We go to Ba Sing Se."

The blind Earthbender walked alongside her, stride for stride down the halls. "I think Twinkletoes is in over his head," the blind Earthbender said bluntly, seeming to inspect her fingers as she walked; Azula was impressed, despite herself. "And I'm going to pull his head out of your snatch to stop him from drowning in it."

She nodded and hummed. "I cannot decide whether I like you or resent you."

"Ask Sparky—he walked this path before you did."

"Definitely resentment," she decided.

"Same here."

"But we cannot let Spineless Kuei sense such resentment between us, no matter how difficult such a task may be—for you."

"Fine. At least I'll get to feel Kuei shit himself. That almost makes up for it."

"That is a delightful image," Azula commended.

"I may resent you—and a lot more—but would you describe to me the look on his face if he shits himself?"

Azula glanced at the blind Earthbender and found she was serious. "I would tell you the color if I was certain he was capable of 'shitting' himself. He is too constipated, brimming with misunderstanding."

"Color does nothing for me," the blind Earthbender dismissed, waving a hand. "Just tell me the look on his face. Then I can tell Bumi when I see him again."

She felt startled, for she knew that name quite intimately based on the many things shared by Aang. "You know the Scourge of Fire?"

"He hates that title, actually; he said he prefers the Fucker of Fire."

Azula thought of the many stories she heard as a child and nodded. "Seems appropriate."

XxXxXxXxXxX

"We'll be going to the Eastern Air Temple after Ba Sing Se."

Zuko looked up from the scroll he was reading to see Aang standing in his private study—how long had he been standing there?—still taken aback by the sight of his best friend with hair. But the hair suited Aang—and Azula certainly thought so, based on the sheer relief on her face from earlier that she was too slow to mask.

"Leaving so soon?" he quipped, standing to his feet as he dropped the scroll. "You really are an Airbender."

"Thank you."

"What if something goes wrong with Kuei? He would never just accept your order to stand down. He's invested too much of himself in all of this; he'd perceive it as you attacking his entire identity if you ordered him to stand down."

Aang sighed. "That's why I came to talk to you before we left. Something may go wrong."

"And you'd still go to the Eastern Air Temple?" he demanded in disbelief. "What did you see?"

"I have a feeling that things won't go according to plan," his friend divulged, voice grave. "I've glimpsed blood, but that's it."

His eyes narrowed, and he leaned forward in concern. "Blood? Have you spoken with the others about this?"

"Ignorance suits them."

"That's an Aang decision, not an Avatar decision."

Aang laughed, but there was nothing kind or amused in it. "If I made Avatar decisions around them, they'd be dead, especially Sokka."

Zuko nodded. "I almost killed him; I would have if Uncle didn't calm me down. Personally, I think he's more stressed about being Chief of Water than he lets on."

"I don't care."

"And with Katara breaking her betrothal to Kuei, Sokka will no longer be Chief of the North; his position's been compromised."

Aang frowned. "You feel bad for him?"

"Not at all," he said honestly. "It just gives me some considerations to attack him with when he pisses me off."

"Prudent."

Zuko's only brow rose. "You have spent a lot of time with my sister. That's one of her favorite words—prudent."

"So is 'Zuzu'," Aang said with a massive grin, and Zuko groaned.

"It would really be not prudent to call the Fire Lord 'Zuzu', Avatar."

Aang waved him off, and the smile on his face made him look years younger, reminding Zuko of the boy his friend once was. "I'd be fine if you never called me Avatar for the rest of my life, Zuzu."

Zuko snorted, shaking his head. "You're forgetting to wear that condescending leer that she always wore when she said it."

"I think she says it more out of fondness now than anything if it's any consolation."

"It is a little bit."

Silence.

Aang's smile vanished, replaced by something unreadable and imposing—something demanding and harsh. "Did you ask her about her nomination for Mother of Air?"

Zuko sighed, still reeling from the depths of that conversation. "She's serious."

"I know she's serious- "

"No, I mean, she's genuine."

Aang closed his eyes for several moments. "I don't believe it."

"I didn't, either, at first. But she convinced me; she swore she's going to convince you."

"It's not happening," Aang said flatly, crossing his arms over his chest. "There is no argument that would ever convince me. And she's been obvious in her scheme; she wants to seduce me for 'the power of the world' I hold—I know it."

Zuko frowned. "That doesn't sound like her- "

"She said she would seduce Avatar Kuruk if she lived during his reign." Aang locked eyes with him. "And she said it while looking right at me with, maybe, that condescending leer you were talking about."

"Like Kuruk would need to be seduced," he scoffed before considering Aang's claim. "And there would be no 'maybe' if she wore that condescending leer. You would know it. But seduction isn't in Azula's repertoire."

"If she sees it as a game, a challenge, it is," Aang replied, unimpressed and furious, and Zuko was surprised; Aang really did know and understand his sister. "What bigger challenge is there than The Avatar? She confessed to her lust for power. And what greater power is there than being my wife, the Mother of Air? What renown is more renowned than that?"

Zuko sighed. "Well, I see it, but I don't think that's what she's doing. It's not a game to her; she's genuine. She loves Air, and she may even love you for showing her Air."

He scoffed. "I don't believe it."

"I don't even want to think about you reviving Air through her—she's my sister—but is the thought that repulsive?"

Aang sat down, frustrated, looking heavy but worn. "She's not repulsive at all physically- "

"That's not helping me."

"I'm not looking to help you; I'm looking to help me."

Zuko felt a small smile cross his lips. "No wonder she's genuine in pressing her claim; I see why she likes you."

"She likes me because I'm The Avatar- "

"She said she did at first," Zuko said quickly, understanding clearly why Aang believed it. If he hadn't had that conversation with Azula, he would believe it, too. "But she thinks that 'The Avatar is a delightful addition to Aang.'"

Aang looked eminently distrustful, and Zuko didn't blame him. "I don't believe it."

"She said that she wants to see The Avatar State and see your true power- "

"It's more than obvious," Aang muttered, heated.

"But she said that if she never sees it, it's okay because she'll have you."

Aang's distrust transformed into rage, carved vividly onto his twisting face. "As I've heard you say, that's dragonshit."

"Maybe it is," Zuko admitted, shrugging his shoulders. "Maybe she's lying to me and only trying to seduce you; maybe Azula is that simplistic, and the situation is that simplistic. Maybe there's no complexity to her at all."

"You clearly grew up with her," Aang mumbled, running a hand over his face.

"I've seen the number of offers you've received; you've told me about many of them. But this one is different, isn't it? I just get that sense."

Aang glanced at him in disbelief. "Are you really going to throw your sister at me like all those other rulers and nobles?"

"No. We're already permanent allies," he dismissed. "This isn't a ploy by the Fire Lord to secure more power for himself. We're friends. In fact, you're the only friend I have."

"I would say the same, but I befriended your sister, who's probably only trying to seduce me." Aang's eyes snapped shut, and something agonizing but determined was on his face, and Zuko realized it went deeper than being convinced Azula was only seducing him. "And even if she was 'genuine,' I don't want her as Mother of Air. She can't be."

"Why?"

"She's an heir of Sozin."

Zuko groaned. "Are you going to be like all those Children of Earth who hate me—and Azula—because of the blood- "

"I don't hate you, and I don't hate Azula, not at all," Aang assured, and there was a painful honesty on his face. "I hate Sozin, not you, and not her."

"But why does Sozin matter when it comes to the Mother of Air?"

Aang looked away, out the window, gaze ancient but ferocious with a chilling intensity. "Any children between us would have a twisted lineage—descended from those Sozin procreated and those Sozin destroyed. She carries his blood, and I don't want Air tainted by that blood. My children should be free from that blight—the same blight that destroyed Air in the first place. Sozin should never be near Air."

Zuko was quiet for several moments, considering. "I think I understand."

"Sozin," Aang murmured in a howl, eyes severe and frantic. "That name carries an unholy tune. Whenever it's said, the winds screech and howl. I don't want Air associated at all with Sozin."

"You don't want Sozin's lineage tied with Air's future lineage."

"I thought you above all would understand the weight of lineage," Aang snapped, eyes narrowing, dark with resentment. "It's not just me reviving Air; it's my parents, born of Air; it's my grandparents, born of Air; it's my great-grandparents, born of Air; and so on since Airbenders were blessed by Indra. Lineage matters, and it's not only my lineage that matters; the Mother of Air's lineage matters—a lot. And your lineage—Azula's lineage—contains Ozai, Azulon, Sozin, and countless other powerful Firebenders."

"Including Roku," Zuko tried half-heartedly.

"Tying Sozin's lineage to Air's future lineage means that Air will always be tied to Sozin—forever. Sozin will be kept alive until the End through Air, and I hate the thought of that. It means that Air will never be free of Sozin; we will be forever reminded of his evil because it would live inside us!"

Zuko stared at him, blinking hard. "You've thought about this- "

"Of course!" Aang said, voice rising. "I started thinking about it all, considering it, when I realized that I was attracted to her!"

Despite himself and despite the obvious, Zuko felt surprised. "You're attracted to Azula?"

Aang placed a hand against his forehead. "I'm not in the mood for the older brother protection speech."

"I'm not in the mood to give it," he retorted. "How soon were you attracted to her?"

"This feels like the beginning of said speech."

Zuko's laughter escaped in huffs. "Just answer it. What could I do to you, Avatar?"

"The moment I saw her, I was attracted to her," Aang answered, voice irritated. "That's how attraction works; it's what it means to be attracted to a girl."

"The monks taught you that?"

Aang looked resigned. "No. It was something that Kuruk said when I summoned him one time."

"Well, he's not wrong," Zuko responded, thinking of his own experiences. "And you're convinced that she can't convince you?"

"She's not genuine. I know she's not."

He closed his eyes in realization. "You're not afraid that she's seducing you; you're afraid that she is genuine."

"I don't want Sozin's blood tied to my blood," Aang snapped, and Zuko wasn't sure if he was correct or not—maybe he was, but there was clearly something about Sozin's blood that gnawed at Aang with a violent relentlessness. "I want Air free; I want my children devoid of such evil and temptations."

"The anthem to conquest," Zuko supplied softly. "You want your children pure."

"Yes."

"I understand."

Silence.

Aang sighed and stood to his feet. "I hope Kuei understands why this must stop."

"I don't think he will."

"I think he will after a long conversation," Aang muttered, shaking his head.

"What about the blood you saw?"

"It may be nothing."

"But we both know your visions are never wrong."

Aang tilted his head. "But the interpretation is difficult. Maybe it's not supposed to be literal; maybe it's symbolic of something—perhaps showing how many lives will be saved by ending this war, how much blood will not be shed."

"You have more optimism than I do. Are you sure you should go to the Eastern Air Temple?"

"I need to go anyway to speak with Pathik and get his thoughts on all of this. And it won't look good if I return straight to the Fire Nation after ordering Kuei to stand down."

Zuko's brow rose, thinking of his earlier conversation with Azula. "But it looks better if you take my sister back with you to an Air Temple like she's your war prize?"

Aang flushed slightly but shook his head. "I don't think Azula has a reputation to care for."

"Good point. But what about your reputation?"

"I don't think mine could get much worse, particularly while I was on such a long vacation. The only person in the world more resented than me is you."

"They resent you for stopping their fantasies of vengeance," Zuko corrected. "They hate me just for the fact that I exist."

"I hate the fact that The Avatar exists."

Zuko felt the statement register and marveled at Aang's endurance. "I know you don't drink, but if you want, I'll get you a huge supply of firewhiskey."

Aang chuckled, looking tired. "At least you're offering me that instead of women like everyone else."

"I don't know how you resist the temptation."

"Me neither."

Zuko approached and put a sturdy hand on Aang's shoulder; he wished he wore the Fire Crown so that they would be the same 'height,' but it was too late. "But if it comes down to it, don't resist the temptation to remind Kuei who he's dealing with. He should respect authority—your authority—and know his betters. And tell him that he's pathetic and uses the same justifications that Sozin did."

"And you don't even know about his plan for balance."

Something foreboding rose within him at the look on Aang's face. "What are you talking about?"

Aang's face twisted in disgust. "He approached me at the last Great Gathering I attended and proposed his notion of restoring balance—Two Nations."

"You mean…?"

"He doesn't think Air can return, so he proposed that Fire be wiped out entirely so there will be balance between only two nations—Earth and Water."

Zuko stared at him in disbelief. "And you did nothing?"

Aang closed his eyes. "No, I warned him- "

"And look what happened!"

"Nothing's happened!" Aang snapped, eyes darkening. "Don't you dare accuse me of not understanding the impact of such a proposal. It's you who doesn't understand it, and it's Kuei who doesn't understand it. But I am going to make it more than clear—like I did last time—that such a proposal is heresy; it's abominable; it's evil. I will never accept it, and I will do what I must to prevent it from happening—whatever that means."

"But for The Avatar to interfere so outrageously in politics is dangerous," Zuko warned. "The Avatar is not a kingmaker—nor king-destroyer."

Aang sighed. "Then I'll congregate the Earth Kings to find a solution. You're right—I could easily depose Kuei for someone else, but that sets a terrible precedent for The Avatar. It must be the other Earth Kings who depose him."

"That will take a lot of political maneuvering since Kuei has Zaofu and Chyung's testicles in his grip; their kings are Tornor and Lonin, but it's really Kuei who is their king."

"It may be the only solution."

Zuko felt resigned. "Do you really think it will come to that?"

"The fact that Ozai and Vaatu are- "

"Don't say his name!"

Aang waved his hand, and the gesture bore a remarkable resemblance to Azula. "I'm The Avatar; I can say any name I want."

"Quite the benefit."

"But the fact Ozai and Vaatu are out there makes me nervous. I'm worried Kuei allied with Vaatu."

"What does that mean?"

"I'm afraid to say."

"I'm afraid to hear."

"It means that Ba Sing Se, potentially, the largest and most populated city in the world, the foremost representation of Earth, is allied with Vaatu and serves him as his army. It would mean that the Dai Li and Council of Five, and all the networks associated with each, are beholden to him."

Zuko pinched the bridge of his nose. "The Blue Spirit may go and assassinate Kuei."

Aang looked solemn. "The Avatar may look the other way."

"At the Eastern Air Temple, right?"

"I'm not agreeing to anything here," Aang warned. "This isn't a secret agreement or anything."

"Just make a public agreement with Kuei that no secret agreements will be made."

"I will."

Zuko guided him to the door. "If you don't know how, ask Azula, and she'll tell you; she has much practice, believe me. But promise me that I'll see her again."

Aang held his gaze with sober intensity. "You will."

"Swear on The Avatar."

"What?" Aang asked, aghast, eyes wide in shock. "People do that?"

"My mother's made me swear on your existence a number of times."

"She's descended from an Avatar! And so are you!"

"She still made me do it."

"You're the Fire Lord!"

"And you're The Avatar," Zuko countered with a smirk. "Swear on The Avatar that I'll see Azula again."

Aang glared at him and squeezed his eyes shut. "Only because you're my friend."

"I'm waiting."

"At least Azula wouldn't make me swear on my own existence," Aang mumbled before straightening, meeting his eyes. "I swear on my existence as The Avatar and the existence of all those who came before me who lived their lives throughout the full extremities of Life that you, Fire Lord Zuko, will see your sister, Azula, again."

"Keep her safe, please," Zuko requested, feeling a desperation enter his voice. "I know she is powerful, but I'm not sure she realizes the extent to which we're hated, especially by Kuei."

Aang nodded, features kind. "Of course. She's my friend, and I mean that."

"Thank you."

They stepped apart and stared at each other, teacher and student, friend and friend, Fire Lord and Avatar.

"Farewell, Fire Lord Zuko." Aang bowed his head in respect.

Zuko did the same, squeezing his friend's shoulder at the same time. "Farewell, Avatar Aang."

Aang exited the Fire Lord's private study with one last quick smile, and Zuko slumped back into his chair. He was not looking forward to the next possible two weeks until Aang returned in which things could progress or regress, and he would never know until Aang returned. Not to mention the fact that Katara, Sokka, and Suki were still around.

Zuko never forgot and rarely pardoned. He wasn't someone to give his trust easily, and once he did, that trust couldn't be shattered, or he would never trust again, like with Azula. Well, he was mending the shattered trust between them and was on the way to trusting her again. But when it came to the others, when it came to Katara, it was different.

At least, after his decision in Ba Sing Se, he had the courage to face his mistakes. He knew beforehand, before going to the Western Air Temple to reveal his change in allegiance to the Gaang, that it wasn't going to be pretty or a warm welcoming—if he wasn't killed first. But, in spite of everything, he did it anyway. He faced the Gaang and admitted that what Fire and father were doing was wrong, the vilest acts imaginable, deeds that had made him feel ashamed of his bloodline.

Katara wasn't able to do that; she was spineless.

He pinched his nose, the anger beginning to brim over, clouding his judgment. While Katara certainly had many disastrous flaws, she wasn't spineless; that wasn't true. She was one of the strongest people he had ever encountered, but with his anger unable to cease to burn, it was hard to remember that. Why didn't she have the strength to deal with her nightmares and simply write him? Why didn't she attend any of the initial Great Gatherings? Why did she have the luxury to do what she did while Zuko had never—never!—had that luxury in his life?

At one point, for a long time, he thought that out of everyone in the Gaang, except for Aang himself, that Katara would be the one who wouldn't forsake him after the Great War ended. But he had been wrong, so terribly wrong. Years passed achingly slow, and no letters were ever received. Zuko knew that he could have been the one who wrote the first letter, but he couldn't do that because he needed her to do it! He desperately needed her to prove that she actually cared about him and was serious about trusting him and being his friend—as she declared vocally many times after she forgave him. But no letters ever came despite his yearning to read letters from her—and the others. It became apparent that, besides Aang, he was only useful to the others as a tool, a weapon to unleash on the enemy, a pivotal piece to prevent the Fire Nation from falling into civil—another Cousins' War.

Zuko hoped that, with Aang's return with Azula, he could have peace, but with Aang leaving so swiftly with Azula, he was left again with the rest of the Gaang—minus Toph, who was the one he resented least. He wanted to order them to return to the South, but he knew they never would, and, unfortunately, he didn't have the cruelty to force them to. He needed their help, especially if Father returned to seize the Dragon's Throne with, potentially, an army backing him.

"Zuko?"

He watched Uncle exit the secret passage. "What?"

Slowly, carrying a cup of tea, as was the usual, Uncle walked in and sat gently on the couch. "The Noble Houses are becoming anxious; they demand answers about why, in their words, peasants are amongst their Fire Lord."

"The Noble Houses are just seeking ways to gain my favor," he dismissed in disgust. "They don't actually care about what's going on. I bet most of them, if Father returned, would readily kneel before him and assassinate me if they could; I bet Kuei pays for their intelligence."

Uncle only nodded, serene. "While that may be true, if you do not handle this situation with the utmost care, you could have a rebellion on your hands."

"I wish there was a rebellion!" Zuko snapped. "That would let me release my tension! Rebellion against the Fire Lord is treason and, thus, execution. I dare them to attempt it; I welcome it! I will confiscate their lands, riches, and women, claiming everything as my own! I will leave them with nothing, and when they are bereft of everything they once had, only then will I sign their executions."

Uncle merely raised a brow, unimpressed by his words. "You would hate to order the deaths of that many people, Nephew. Entire families would be torn apart, and that could create enemies for you and your line in the future."

Zuko wearily stood up and slumped next to his uncle on the couch. "I don't know what to do. I'm at my wit's end, especially since Aang and Azula are leaving for Ba Sing Se."

"You are not alone now," Uncle replied, smiling reassuringly. "I am here this time. Why not try a nice cup of calming tea?"

"After my meeting, which begins in- " Zuko closed his eyes and felt the position of the sun. "- about a few minutes. Afterward, we'll drink tea."

A bright smile split Uncle's face. "I will be in the garden waiting."

XxXxXxXxXxX

Katara was lost—and not only physically.

The halls throughout the place seemed infinite, and she had no idea where she was supposed to go. After Aang said such vicious things to Sokka in the dining hall before leaving with Toph and that bitch, she felt restless—a familiar feeling but somehow worse.

Nothing was going right, and all of her efforts to try to fix things, to make everything right, to evoke healing as a Waterbender should, seemed to make things worse.

And she couldn't turn to Sokka or Suki for help because they, specifically Sokka, resented her for breaking off her betrothal to Kuei, which compromised Sokka's position. She explained herself and tried to make him see, but while Suki seemed understanding, Sokka was furious when she told him of her decision, confessing to her decision to give Kuei's betrothal necklace to Zuko, who promptly destroyed it.

"Why the fuck would you do that?" he demanded, eyes wide as he paced in front of her, frantic. "Kuei is the King of Ba Sing Se!"

"He's been trying to assassinate Zuko!"

"So?" Sokka scoffed, face twisting with rage. "Zuko clearly deserves it! Or do you forget him almost killing me?"

Katara remembered with horrifying accuracy. "You didn't deserve that, but you deserved a punch to the face! How could you say that about his- "

"That Jerkbender deserved it! And you shouldn't care about Zuko because he's never cared about us! You should care about Kuei instead, but you don't! Why would you break it off, Katara? Why?"

"Because it's the right thing to do!" she snapped, crossing her arms under her breasts. "How could I marry a man that- "

"Fuck that! What's the real reason?"

Katara seethed. "I never wanted to marry him in the first place!"

Sokka punched his fist in the air. "Exactly! You're just getting back at me- "

"Grow up, Sokka! Not everything's about you!"

"And not everything's about you, Katara! Don't you get it?" Sokka hissed, eyes blazing like a Firebender's. "The only possible way I could ever salvage the situation now is if I married one of the North's noblewomen! They'd demand I set Suki aside! They already were before Kuei intervened and set things straight! I owe him a lot, and you just throw this in his face? He secured my position at the North!"

Katara threw her hands up in the air in disgusted exasperation. "I don't even know why you want to be its Chief, and I don't know why Dad wants you to be, either. Just don't be Chief of the North!"

Sokka squeezed his hand into a fist and placed it over his eye, seeming in pain. "Damn it, Katara! It's not that simple! There's no one in the North left of its royal line. Arnook is the last one, and he only ever had Yue. But she's gone, and there's no heir left—except me because I'm descended from the same line as Arnook if you go back far enough."

"If you're going back that far, there's surely someone in the North of that same line- "

"But who's descended from Chiefs for generations and understands intimately the duties, roles, and burdens of Chief by watching his dad do it for years?" Sokka demanded, voice as intense as his eyes. "I'm the only possible heir, and you fucked it all up by breaking your marriage!"

"It wasn't a marriage; it was a betrothal!"

"It was a contract! And you broke it!" Sokka threw his hands in the air. "Do you know how this is going to impact everything? Kuei's the King of Ba Sing Se, Katara, and you rejected him, which reflects, even if it's unfair, on us in the South—and the North. And because you broke it off when here, in the Fire Nation, in Zuko's palace, it's going to look like you broke it off with Kuei in favor of Zuko! And that's not going to go over well with Earth! The only Earth King who doesn't hate Zuko's guts is King Bumi, who'd probably laugh his penis off about the whole thing, but all the other kings will be outraged! They may even demand war!"

"That's unsurprising since Kuei declared war on Zuko," Katara snapped.

"And the North isn't going to be pleased at all with such a rumor because Arnook hates Fire, understandably, for what happened to Yue! What you did alienates everyone, especially me. No one's going to have any trust to make a deal with the South, afraid that we'd break the agreement!"

Katara felt the water in her cup swirl, and she did her best to control her voice. "You can't blame me for everyone else's irrationality- "

"I blame you for your irrationality!" Sokka shouted, and she couldn't remember the last time she saw him so angry at her. "What the fuck were you thinking? No, you weren't thinking, were you? You were feeling—because that's all you know how to do!"

"I don't remember you giving me any advice!"

"Well, my advice would have been not to fuck it up—like you just did!"

"You're making it out to be worse than it is- "

"The only way civil war doesn't break out, weakening Water in the eyes of Earth and Fire, is if I'm the heir, and I become Chief of Water. That's it. Because you broke it off, people are going to die- "

"Stop trying to guilt trip me, Sokka!"

Sokka pointed a rigid finger at her, face condemning. "I'm stating facts that you're too immature to accept!"

Katara gasped in disbelief. "Immature?" she demanded, voice rising. "I'm immature? You're the one who still chews with his mouth open!"

"That was to show Suki that it's possible to chew two separate meats at once without them intermixing!" he howled, looking wounded. "And stop distracting me! You ruined my ability to be Chief! You ruined Water's future! You ruined everything!"

"Maybe if you were better at making an impression, you wouldn't have to be so worried!"

"When Mr. Avatar gets here, I'm going to tell him what you did!"

"You're more immature than I thought if you think he'd care!" Katara said, lips turning into a sneer. "Look at Zuko. You think Aang will be any different?"

Sokka waved a dismissive hand, still looking furious. "Zuko's always been a Jerkbender. Aang is Aang; he's a lot more of a Jerkbender now, but he'll be fine once he gets out of Azula's snatch. But us? We're not fine, Katara. I can barely look at you."

Since that conversation, they had spoken minimally, only when forced to, and Katara initially had flailing hope that Aang's return would be helpful and bridge the gap, but Aang's presence with that bitch made everything worse. She and Sokka were briefly reunited in their shared disgust and distrust for that bitch, but it wasn't enough.

And Aang was so distant and angry, lashing out with vitriol. It was so much worse than the Si Wong Desert after Appa was kidnapped.

Katara didn't know what to do. No one was on her side, and everyone resented her. Zuko hated her for her mistakes, and her conversations with him were troubling, for, sometimes, they seemed cordial and pleasant, but other times he sneered and looked like he wanted to burn her alive; Sokka hated her for her rightful decision to break her betrothal to Kuei, and she couldn't remember him ever being so enraged by something she did in her memory; and Aang hated her because of her mistakes, her failures as a mother.

At least she had Suki, but Suki would always take Sokka's side, as she should. Katara knew Suki didn't enjoy the notion of Sokka becoming Chief of the North, but she supported him in his pursuit. And she suspected that Suki may resent her because all of her hard work in supporting Sokka was now in vain because Katara 'ruined everything' by ending her betrothal with Kuei.

But how could she have 'ruined everything' like Sokka claimed? Did he have no imagination?

She was staring up at the man who really did ruin everything!

The banner of Fire Lord Sozin was imposing, grand, and massive in scale, and Sozin's intense gaze held her in place from where she stood, glaring down at her with the force of the Comet he renamed, which blazed behind him in the background. She had no idea how she came to this area of the palace, merely stumbled into it in her quest to find her sense of direction by sighting something familiar. She knew she should bolt out of there, but she couldn't. She was mesmerized, fascinated in a disgusted way but fascinated, nonetheless. The portrait seemed alive, and she began to shake, fearing that Sozin's massive hands were going to reach out, coated in flames, and strangle her, burning her alive—just like her mother!

Her anger increased drastically. How dare Zuko hold a banner of his great-grandfather, the Defiler, as Kuei rightly called him in one of his letters, for all to see? She felt her fingers clench into fists and the water in her water skin thrashed as she imagined shredding the banner with ice.

Azula was just like Sozin! It was so clear!

Sozin failed in destroying Aang, but Azula would—she was certain! She knew it in the root of her bones!

How were Zuko and Aang under that bitch's spell? How could they willingly trust her? And that beautiful servant who sat next to that bitch at dinner the previous night, glaring at her vehemently? How did Azula do it, manipulate everyone to believe her and see her as an innocent woman?

But Katara knew better—she did! She would be waiting for the bitch to show her true face once again, and when she did, Katara would do what she should have years ago—kill her. She saw Azula's true face more than any other, and she knew the impact of her presence. Zuko's ignorance was more understandable, considering Azula was his sister and, somehow, he loved her, but Aang's ignorance was a mystery. Why couldn't Aang see the obvious? Why couldn't he see that Azula was clearly only seducing him for the power he wielded? Was the allure of Azula's body so strong that not even Aang, The Avatar, could resist? How was he able to overlook all the horrors she committed?

Azula shot him with lightning, nearly killing him, and he would have died if Katara didn't intervene!

It only reminded her bitterly of the fact that Aang had changed and wasn't the same Aang she remembered. He was no longer that boy she loved; he no longer needed a mother to look after him and protect him.

He was a man who made his own decisions, and, impossibly, he made the decision to lay with Azula despite her obvious attempts at seduction.

Azula was everything wrong with her lineage!

Katara's blue eyes drifted to the left of Sozin, and she glimpsed the banner of Zuko's grandfather, Fire Lord Azulon, the man who, apparently, killed her grandfather, who Dad discussed very little. How could she not have heard of Fire Lord Azulon? With all the wars he waged against the South, there were whispered legends and warnings told to her that terrified her as a child, stories from those who managed to survive his onslaught and lived to old age—only because they were non-benders. Staring at the Fire Lord standing atop a turtle while holding two blazing fireballs, she realized that Zuko's grandfather was exclusively responsible for not only her grandfather's death but her mother's death, as well. Who else could order the death of the last Waterbender in the Southern Water Tribe via the Southern Raiders?

Fuming with renewed anger, the image of her mother's burning flesh flashing through her mind, she looked toward the next massive portrait, and her eyes widened at the resemblance between Fire Lord Ozai and Zuko. If she had ever doubted that Zuko was Ozai's son, it would be snuffed out now.

Appalled by the physical similarities between Zuko and his now-escaped father, Katara stared into the painted eyes of the man who nearly succeeded in burning the entire Earth Kingdom to ash; even though it was a portrait, Ozai's eyes burned with golden sparks—just like his father and grandfather's, but somehow, Ozai's were worse to look upon—and shivers wracked Katara's spine.

"That sweet little kid grew up to be a monster and the worst father in the history of fathers," Zuko said on Ember Island after she found the portrait of Baby Ozai, and Zuko's eyes burned golden, too, crackling like unholy flames just like his father's when he had said that, daring any of them to challenge his statement.

Her fury cracked, and before she could stop herself, she summoned the water out of her water skins and deadly large spears of ice floated before the portraits of the three Fire Lords, the men who ruined everything.

"I recommend you rethink your thoughts, Princess Katara."

Katara whirled around, shocked that someone snuck up on her, and found herself face-to-face with Iroh, who calmly sipped a cup of tea—but his golden eyes were narrow and assessing. Her ice dispersed back into water and into her waterskin as she tried to find her words, but nothing passed her stunned and fearful lips. For several moments, Iroh stared at her, and she wondered if he would report her potential vandalism to Zuko. But thankfully, Iroh chose a different path as relief spread through her when he approached.

Iroh smiled, and there was only curiosity in his eyes, no judgment nor anger. "What are you doing this far from your rooms?"

She couldn't help but smile back; she had always liked Zuko's uncle. "General Iroh." She glanced around, hopeless. "I'm afraid I may be lost."

"Understandable, my dear." Iroh waved a hand. "Come; I am heading to the royal garden. You should join me. I think it is time we talk."

Katara felt grateful to have an opening to escape from the portraits of former Fire Lords, the near-destroyers of the world—and, of course, grateful to have a guide. "Lead the way."

Zuko's uncle's arm slipped through hers, and he pulled her along the corridor. "Don't worry; it's not far."

She frowned as they walked towards a dead end. "General Iroh, you're not blind like Toph, but where are we going?" she asked hesitantly.

He turned to her, golden eyes—they were the same color as Zuko, Ozai, Azulon, and Sozin's, she noted—mischievous. "You are a guest of honor- "

"Zuko doesn't think so."

"You are a Princess of Water and betrothed to King Kuei- "

She blinked in surprise. "Zuko didn't tell you?"

Iroh paused. "Tell me what?"

"I broke off the betrothal to Kuei," she explained slowly, confused and, despite herself, hurt that Zuko didn't tell his uncle. "I gave Zuko the necklace, and he destroyed it. He enjoyed it a lot."

He stared at her, surprised, and something she couldn't describe shone in his eyes. "I admire your temerity to reject King Kuei," Iroh commended, voice kind. "And I am sorry for the impacts that will encounter you because of such a decision."

Katara felt many emotions swell inside her. "Thank you," she whispered. "You're the first one to say that."

"Age reveals what is important and what is not. All these petty differences and decisions are temporary; they do not matter. Your presence here matters intensely, and you are a guest of honor; Zuko will understand what I am going to reveal to you."

Iroh let go of her and placed his hand on the wall while she wondered how well Iroh knew his nephew; Zuko was furious with her. Then, as Iroh's palm became alight with flames, Katara was reminded of the time when Fire Sage Shyu had opened the secret passage in Roku's temple, saving them from the other treacherous Fire Sages.

The same thing happened as the panel slid open soundlessly.

Zuko's uncle gestured for her to follow him, and she stepped into the dark corridor. The light soon appeared, and Katara looked to Iroh, who held fire in his hand. "A secret passage leads to the royal garden?" she asked in doubt, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, Princess Katara," Iroh replied, chuckling. "Surprising, yes? When Avatar Roku destroyed the entire palace in his anger over one hundred and fifty years ago, my grandfather rebuilt the entire palace to strengthen its tactical qualities and commissioned countless secret passages in the case of assassination attempts." Iroh winked at her impishly. "It is also a great way to hide from your parents when in trouble."

Katara laughed. "Even Zuko?"

"Especially Zuko."

She felt mournful that she couldn't imagine it. "Really?"

He chuckled, and it was warm. "My nephew may not seem like a mischievous boy now, but he once was. He and Azula used to create mischief all throughout the palace. Servants and the guards were on the receiving end of many of their pranks. They built a reputation as terrors of stealth. Their excellence at stealth stems from their exploits as children terrorizing the servants and guards by utilizing the secret passages."

Katara was shocked.

Azula, that bitch, had always been a monster who rose from the ashes of the other nations' sorrows to reap more death. Katara saw it firsthand when she shot both Aang and Zuko with lightning—and on the second attempt, had been trying to shoot Katara herself before Zuko, unthinkingly, sacrificed himself. Azula was a bitch above any other!

But Iroh's account, she hated to admit, made sense. It was just like when she mistakenly showed the Gaang the picture of Ozai as a baby, thinking that it had been Zuko on Ember Island. Just like her vile father before her, Azula couldn't have always been a monster. And dimly, she recognized that that must be true about Fire Lord Azulon and Fire Lord Sozin, but she refused to contemplate it. She wondered how Iroh became the way he was. He had grown up in the palace, surrounded by Firebenders. Zuko had only seen the truth when he had been banished—she still had no idea why he had been banished and had been so obsessed with honor.

"How are you so different?" she whispered, summoning her courage. "You're not like everyone else in your family."

Iroh glanced at her, something assessing on his face. "I am a product of Sozin's line just as my father before me, and my brother, nephew, and niece after me. There is much you do not know about me; I have lived a life on both extremes."

Katara tensed, remembering the title hissed murderously and fearfully throughout the Earth Kingdom during her travels with the Gaang. "You were a terror, too," she whispered. "The Dragon of the West."

"I believe we need to share a conversation; there is much we need to discuss," Iroh said calmly as they stopped at a staircase leading to stone in front of them; he prodded her, pointing forward. "Come on, my dear; we're almost there."

They walked up the steps, and Iroh placed his hand on the side of the stone, the panel above quickly sliding to the side silently. A blinding light caused Katara to squint, and she felt Iroh grab her hand and pull her up as her eyes readjusted. She felt soft grass beneath her feet and once her eyes finally adjusted to the searing of her eyes, she saw that there was a small stone slab lying flat where grass should be; it's where the secret passage was.

She swiveled around after a moment, not seeing Zuko's uncle, but after another moment, she saw Iroh sitting in front of a pond. Quickly, she sat next to him and watched turtle ducks squabble amongst each other, making amusing noises.

Iroh smiled softly. "This is Zuko's favorite place in the palace."

Katara's eyes roamed the garden. "I see why. It's beautiful."

"He used to pretend that he hated this place, but it was obvious to his mother and me that he cherished it. If you are ever in doubt as to my nephew's location, come to the royal gardens beneath this tree."

She could easily see Zuko acting like that. He had such a rough exterior and claimed to be emotionless except for anger, but Zuko felt deeply. "That sounds like him," she said after a moment. "But he'd probably be angry that you revealed his haven to me."

"I am well-used to Zuko's anger and have borne it more severely than anyone alive," Iroh dismissed. "Do you still want to know about my life?"

"Yes."

Iroh remained quiet for several long moments. "I understand regret, Princess Katara," he murmured, something ancient in his eyes. "I was once a different—very different—man. If you met the man I once was, you would despise me and wish me dead. You would have attacked me, and I would have killed you. I was a true heir of Sozin's line."

Katara gasped at the implication. "You were like Ozai?"

"In many ways, yes; in other ways, no." Iroh gazed into the distance, seeming far away. "Perhaps it was the presence of my mother that prevented me from walking Ozai's path before Ozai did. But my father influenced me much more than she ever did. You must understand—my father was not how you perceive."

She frowned, keeping her voice stable; her hands curled into shaking fists in her lap. "Your father killed my grandfather and is the reason why my mother was killed."

"And I cannot apologize for his actions. Only he can, but only The Avatar can hear his apologies from the Gardens of the Dead. My father was a complex man with many facets to his character. I am sorry you are only acquainted with his cruelty and power."

"I thought you weren't apologizing," she said, hoping she kept her accusatory tone at bay.

"You can feel heartbreak for two sides, Princess Katara," Zuko's uncle replied, voice old but serene. "I am heartbroken that you only experienced his greatness through his cruelty when you—and everyone—deserved to experience him in all his facets, and I am heartbroken that my father is responsible for such tragedies against you and your family."

Katara's face twisted in derision. "I don't agree at all. I never want to know your father as anything other than a monster."

Iroh nodded. "I'm not surprised. I know there are many who would make the same choice."

"It's not a choice; it's the right thing to do. Some people are unforgivable, and Sozin, your father, Ozai, and my mother's murderer are at the top of that list."

"If they are on that list, I should be, as well."

She leaned back in surprise. "What? No, you're not a- "

"War reveals the enemy, but War conceals the enemy, making you only see an enemy rather than a man with thoughts, ambitions, passions, and loves. I was a renowned participant in War's simplicity; I killed many Children of Earth—and Children of Water."

Katara's eyes widened. "What?"

"Besides King Bumi, Fire's biggest threat during the Great War was the South, which possessed a ferocity surprising for Waterbenders."

"You were in the South?" she whispered, feeling shaken. "Were you part of the attacks?"

Iroh looked heavy and haunted. "Yes. Your grandfather, Chief Hada, was powerful, and his attacks against us inflicted heavy losses. My father defeated the South once, depleting them of its Waterbenders and strength, its spirit and determination. But within a generation, the South returned, stronger than before, and the losses, spearheaded by your grandfather, were immense and costly. My father had enough and ordered me to the South. It took a long time, and I was not always there; sometimes, I was recalled to the Earth Kingdom by my father's order. But we made slow—slow—progress against Chief Hada."

"And your father killed him."

He nodded. "Yes. I watched your grandfather die; I was there when my father wielded Agni's strength as his own."

Katara swallowed. "What happened? My dad never talked about it."

"Your father was not there; he was hidden away, out of the fighting."

"But what happened?"

"Your grandfather nearly killed me. It is what enraged my father to such a degree that he entered the fray and ended your grandfather with a vicious onslaught of lightning. Your prowess reminds me of your grandfather, who possessed great strength. I was still young and overconfident, and he nearly killed me because of it. And before your grandfather, his father, Chief Kuhna, was a menace against us, a powerful Waterbender, the very reason why my father targeted the South the first time. The North only knew cowardice, but your great-grandfather and grandfather both knew honor and courage."

She wrapped her arms around her knees, pulling them into her chest. "And your father killed him, too, didn't he? He killed my grandfather and great-grandfather."

Iroh only nodded. "Yes. You are descended from men who never surrendered to Fire, fighting to their deaths; it is admirable, not abominable like I once thought."

Katara shuddered. "I never knew."

"I learned many things in the War, the foremost is that War dehumanizes the enemy while it humanizes you, making you realize how feeble and weak you are, how you are not invincible and unbeatable, how broken and frail your body is—and the bodies of those you love."

"Did you learn that watching your father murder my grandfather?" she demanded, trying but failing to keep her voice even.

Iroh glanced at her, eyes old. "No. I learned that when I held my son's broken, lifeless body in my arms."

Katara swallowed. "I'm sorry."

"But I learned something profound watching your grandfather's death," he added. "I spent years fighting Waterbenders, and I understood how they fought and their movements, from where they derived the source of their footing and stances. I was so used to fighting Waterbenders that, when I saw my father's lightning split the air toward your grandfather, I anticipated your grandfather whipping it around his body and shooting it back—a traditional response from Waterbenders I experienced countless times. But your grandfather could not defend himself, and it was his death that provoked my discovery of lightning re-direction. You see, I owe your grandfather, the man who nearly killed me and would have killed me—and I owe you, who descends from him—for it was that event which, in the end, helped save Zuko's life when Azula shot him with lightning during their Agni Kai. I have never been able to express my profound thanks to you, Princess Katara, but thank you. You saved Zuko's life."

"He saved mine," she whispered, trying not to remember those horrifying moments, the source of so many of her nightmares. "He is a good man."

"Indeed. I am so proud of him. He is better than his forefathers and uncle."

Katara bit her tongue to avoid stressing how much better Zuko was than Fire Lord Azulon and only nodded with a false smile; she felt it strain against her cheeks. "What about your mother?"

"She was a prodigious Firebender admitted into the Royal Academy many, many years—over two decades—after my father was named Crown Prince to the Dragon's Throne. My father said he was taken with her the moment they met, and my grandfather approved their union. And even though she was younger than my father by two decades, my mother was quite taken with my father, as well. Soon they were married, and I was born a little over a year later. I was the heir to my father, second-in-line to the Dragon's Throne, groomed from birth to become the Fire Lord after my father and expected to perform extraordinary feats."

She listened attentively. The only thing that any of the Gaang, save Zuko, knew about Iroh was that he was a Grandmaster of the White Lotus and that his son, Lu Ten's death at Ba Sing Se had shown him the error of his ways.

"How did she help you?" she asked quietly.

"My mother always reminded me to stay true to myself, not to be the sum of one's titles. I took that lesson to heart when I was younger, but as I became older, when my father became the Fire Lord, I drifted away from her wisdom. When I was twenty years old, my brother was born, and, to the shock of the entire Fire Nation, my mother died during the birth."

Compassion welled in her. "I'm sorry, Iroh; I know how it feels to lose a mother, too. It changes you."

"It awakens someone you never thought you could be. I resented my brother because of it. But in spite of everything, Ozai knew, though; he knew that I didn't care for him. I, to my utmost shame, even contemplated killing him many times when he was a child, my own bother, my flesh and blood, but I could never go through with it. But because of him, my mother died in childbirth, bringing him into this world. It was a shock, most of all to myself and my father, and we were forced to live near her murderer for years. It is a pain that has never healed, only faded, but its impacts remain forever. For so long, I wished nothing more than for The Avatar to return to the world and smite my brother. I have hated him all my life, and I am ashamed that my hatred for him only became a result of his treatment of Zuko, Azula, and Ursa until after I returned home following my failure at Ba Sing Se. Before that, I hated him because he killed my mother, and I still hate him for that, but there is so much more now to my loathing for him. And I know my father hated Ozai, too. My father, despite his significant strength and intelligence, was flawed deeply—as we all are. He was capable of great cruelty, and so was I. I am certain the only reason my father did not kill Ozai was that of my mother's very memory."

"I'm sorry," she consoled. "It does change people. My mother's death changed me, too."

Iroh tilted his head, glancing up—at what, Katara couldn't discern. "I do not think such a death changes you; I think it only reveals what is there, lurking beyond the veneer of simplicity you enforce on yourself. "

Katara shrugged, not willing to get into an argument over such a minor thing. "Maybe."

"But nobody knew the truth of my mother's demise. It was a closely guarded secret known only to those of my lineage, and even then, it was only my father and I who knew the truth. Not even my aunts, Li and Lo, had an inkling; everyone always thought that my mother died peacefully in her sleep months after Ozai's birth, when she was in the very last weeks of her confinement after the birth."

"Do you think she would have helped Ozai- "

"Undoubtedly," Iroh interrupted, voice haunted. "I have ruminated on it many times. I cannot help but think that if my mother survived his birth, so much would be different. After my mother's death, my father and I grieved similarly by going to war."

Katara didn't know why she felt surprised, but she did. "Really?"

Iroh glanced at her in haunted amusement. "Did you think I sat around drinking tea all day?"

"No."

"I was a young man once, Princess Katara, and though I am not old for a bender, particularly one of my lineage, I have matured past that stage of manhood. But it took me a long time, and like all young men, I carried instincts incomprehensible to you. I inflicted horrors to settle the grief raging in my heart, to make me feel something other than heartbreak and hatred for my brother. My father sought to kill King Bumi, eliminating our most significant threat, and I went elsewhere, laying waste where I could, bringing glory to Fire."

Katara felt horrified and found herself looking at him differently. She no longer saw him as an honorable man who wanted peace; she saw a man who was so powerful that he survived the Great War despite fighting so much and inflicting so much destruction.

Iroh looked at her. "I am not a good man; I am a reformed man."

"But your son!" she cried out, thinking rapidly, trying to make sense of it all. "Zuko told us about him!"

"A son's existence does not redeem his father," Zuko's uncle responded pointedly. "Otherwise, Ozai would be redeemed because Zuko is a good man."

"But weren't you married- "

One of Iroh's bushy brows rose. "Do not overlook a woman's ability to love a monster. It happens much more often than you think."

"It shouldn't!"

"But it does. My wife loved a monster—me."

Katara blinked rapidly. "But how?"

Iroh sighed and something fond crossed his face. "After living in War for many years, my father ordered me to return home. Upon my return, my father said I was to be married, producing another generation of the Fire royal bloodline, the House of Agni. I was not so receptive to the idea, rejecting the Fire Lord's order, but my father was as stubborn as any Earthbender whom I've ever met, and we eventually came to a compromise: I would marry a firebending woman of noble blood of my choosing in a year or my father would arrange a marriage. After several months, no woman caught my eye, and I traveled to Ember Island because reports of violence brewing between the noble houses reached my father's ears, and he sent me to resolve it. When I arrived, I solved the minor dispute quickly—within hours, actually. I can't even remember what it was about and had decided to stay for an extra day of relaxation." Iroh laughed joyously, and Katara felt a smile twitch her lips at the sound. "And I'm so happy I did, Princess Katara! That day, on the beach, was when I met Natsumi, my wife. I was just like my father that day. I fell in love with her the moment I saw her drinking firewhiskey in the sand. I was blinded by her beauty like she was Agni himself and, as a result, I extended my day of relaxation to over a month, and believe me, my father was furious." Iroh chuckled unapologetically, looking pleased with himself. "I convinced Natsumi to return with me to the palace and, after explaining what happened and my decision, my father accepted her as my wife, for she was of noble birth and a Firebender. My father declared that, while her prowess in the bending art was nowhere near a Master's, my blood would atone for any weakness in our future offspring, the heirs to the Dragon's Throne."

"What happened?"

"She became pregnant within a month of her presentation to my father, and when my father discovered the pregnancy, we were married immediately. He did not want any rumors of my child being thought of as a bastard to surface and, afterward, Natsumi and I were both so happy. But the pregnancy was hard on her, though, so hard. When the labor came prematurely…" He swallowed hard and closed his eyes. "My wife, my beautiful Natsumi, was called home by Agni, and he carried her to the Gardens. Her final words were naming our son—Lu Ten."

Katara was crying, for the sorrow in his voice was too much; it was too reminiscent of her own recollection of her mother's death. "I'm so sorry," she whispered.

"My wife loved a monster; she knew of my exploits—not all of them, no, and certainly not the most atrocious—and she accepted me. No matter how short it was, it was joyful to know her and experience her. I miss her often, and I refused to remarry. There has never and will never be another woman after Natsumi."

"A monster wouldn't do that."

"Monsters are not simplistic, Princess Katara," Iroh retorted, taking a brief sip of his tea. "Monsters are complex just as everyone is. And I am—and have always been—complex. But I assure you—I was a monster."

She shook her head, still unable to see it. "But even though you say you did- "

"I am the main reason why Ozai became the way he did."

"He made his own choices- "

Iroh looked solemn and regretful—and so old, much older than he usually seemed. "Yes, but Ozai's failures as a man are my failures as a brother; I was not there to guide him, teach him, and protect him, most of all from himself, as brothers do. I failed because I hated him and wished nothing but death on him often. I treated him cruelly and viciously. I look back, and I know I did such things—such horrible things—but I don't know how I did them, even though I know I did." Iroh wiped a tear from his eye, and Katara only listened, trying to imagine Iroh as a cruel young man; she had trouble imagining it, even after hearing all his accounts, including the news of her grandfather's death. "I was younger then—and, thus, angrier then. The War seemed most important, but I found Natsumi, and I had her for too short a time. And it was not only the Earth Kingdom on whom I unleashed my grief from her death."

Katara tensed, something cold crawling through her. "Ozai."

"He was only nine years old when it happened," Iroh said, voice drifting in sorrow and shame. "Natsumi was cold and motionless on the bed, and I used my firebending to warm her, to try and revive her and bring her back—but she was gone. Ozai came in, and he tried to console me." Something tight, horrified, and disbelieving emanated off him, and it slammed against Katara. "And I didn't wish for it to be him consoling me; I wished for my mother, whom he deprived me of. And I snapped," he whispered, voice incomprehensible, face twisting with grief and self-loathing. "I was enraged and hateful. And I turned my ire on him."

She swallowed. "What happened?"

"I burned him, and his screams didn't deter me." He raised one of his hands and looked at it as if it were unrecognizable. "I gripped his leg and squeezed; flesh boiled, and I could have crushed his leg forever, crippling a Prince of Fire, my own lineage. His leg was weak and brittle under my massive strength, and his flesh innocent before I marred it." Iroh wiped more tears from his eyes. "That was the last time he ever looked at me without hatred. And the truth is, Princess Katara—I deserve all his hatred, and I always have. Never is my shame greater than when I consider my actions against my brother and the impacts they had on not only himself and myself but the world. I almost killed Ozai that day in my haze of murderous madness provoked by grief; I would have killed Ozai if not for Lu Ten. Ozai's screams only encouraged me, but Lu Ten's screams stopped me."

Katara knew always that Iroh's backstory was sorrowful, but she had had no idea that it was so appalling. It was a miracle, to her, that he had turned out the way he did. She was also beginning to feel bad for Ozai. It was preposterous! Ozai was a monster, and nothing would change that, not even a childhood that was, from what she was hearing, a cursed one.

But things were beginning to make more sense in a terrible way.

"I often ask myself: 'How was I so cruel?'" Iroh divulged, voice soft. "And there is an answer—I was a monster, despite what you think. It was simple but horrifying—I didn't care. I only cared about myself. I didn't learn to think about anyone else but myself—and my father, of course—until Lu Ten. Part of me is unsure I actually loved Natsumi, only what she provided me. I lusted for her, but lust is only loving yourself, which is most simplistic and requires no effort, no greater striving nor pursuit."

"You never remarried," Katara consoled gently. "I think you loved her."

"I hope so; she deserved all my love and more. And Ozai did, as well, but with him, I failed severely. In every facet, I failed my brother. I know that, and I will die knowing that I am mainly responsible for the way he turned out, which means I am partly responsible for everything Zuko and Azula endured."

"You shouldn't blame yourself so much."

Iroh smiled, but it was haunted. "If I was anything other than weak and spiteful, perhaps my nephew and niece would have never lived in terror of their father; perhaps my sister would not have been forced to resort to such measures; perhaps my father would still be alive."

Katara blinked in surprise, focusing on one part that stood out above the other horrifying parts. "You have a sister?"

A brief laugh escaped Iroh, and he nodded. "Yes, but not of my blood. My sister is Dowager Fire Lady Ursa, Zuko's mother."

She sat straighter at hearing the mention of Zuko's mother. "You were close to her?"

"No." Iroh looked sad and remorseful. "I was at war and did not consider her that important. I knew her, and I enjoyed her presence, but that was all. There was not much connection, not until later. But Ozai loved her fiercely—violently. She was all he had in his life because both myself and my father hated him, which he knew and felt. I never cared for him, especially after Natsumi's death; I only had my son, and for six years, he was my entire life, Princess Katara. By then, Ozai was fifteen, a few months away from sixteen, and had just met Lady Ursa. And the only one my brother had who loved him was her, and she loved him as much as he loved her."

Katara was especially attentive to this part. Zuko had never spoken of his mother, except revealing that she was gone, had been for many years, when she and the others had asked him about her during the Great War. "What was she like?" At Iroh's curious look, she clarified: "Zuko never said anything about her. He only said that she was gone."

Iroh shook his head with a sigh. "That is no surprise. Zuko—and Azula, too, for a long time—were close with Princess Ursa, who was so much like my mother. She was a prodigious Firebender admitted into the Royal Academy, and my father's eyes were caught once again. However, instead of marrying her himself, he introduced her to Ozai—why, I have never been able to discern, and I am unsure my father even knew why he introduced them. But Ozai, like all men of our lineage, loved her instantly and deeply. Within several months, they were married, with Zuko on the way. But I remember the labor, for I was there, recalled home by my father to celebrate the arrival of another heir of Sozin's line, and the labor was troubling—very taxing. I feared that history was repeating itself, the curse of bearing a child of Agni's royal house—my mother, my wife, and my sister. It seemed all but confirmed that Ursa was going to die bearing Zuko, and I still remember how Ozai looked so heartbroken and distressed—I wasn't aware my brother could look distressed in such a way—that day. It was horrible, and we were already preparing the funerals for both mother and child against Ozai's wishes; he roared and raged like a dragon, vowing Ursa's strength to prevail and his heir's endurance. It all seemed lost, but Ursa and Zuko did prevail; Ozai was correct when we were all wrong. My sister pulled through, overcoming the great odds stacked against her. And Zuko was born, healthy, and there was so much joy."

She wondered if Zuko wanted to know that his father was sad at the thought of his death during birth but realized that he wouldn't. Instead, she licked her lips. "Then what happened?"

"A year later, Azula was born with no complications and, for a while, for a long while, everything was peaceful. I remember—Ozai was happy. He seemed content, and he devoted himself extensively to making Ursa and his children happy. He granted all of them so many wishes that I can scarcely recall them all. He tried to be—and was for longer than you think—a good husband to his wife and a good father to his children. I think being an attentive husband and father appealed to him and gave him the connection he lacked as a child. My brother could have been a good man, a very good man—like Zuko—but things went differently, and I struggle to pinpoint exactly where things diverged. I do not know how things went so wrong. I have suspicions but no answers."

Katara swallowed, learning more and more of Zuko's family history; it felt intimate, more intimate than she deserved considering her actions against him, but she wanted more. "What do you suspect?"

"I suspect that Zuko's birth—and later extensive struggles, for Zuko's struggles were extensive like Ozai's once were—reminded him of himself. Perhaps Ozai thought by doing the things he did, he would spare Zuko from the grief he endured as a child by pushing him so severely, trying to force him to be better like Ozai had to force himself to be better to compare to a prodigious sibling. I suspect he had good intentions, but the results were horrifying. Zuko was such a late bender, and even I had begun to think he was a non-bender—and Ozai thought he was for a long time, disappointed, ashamed, heartbroken, and humiliated. But Ursa was adamant, and so was my father, that Zuko was a bender. I do not know the source of their faith, but they were correct—Zuko was a Firebender who did not bend until his seventh year."

"Is that bad?"

Iroh looked at her with weight. "Azula first accessed her firebending in her third year—a prodigy."

Katara winced. "I see. And Ozai didn't like that Zuko took so long."

"It reminded him of himself, and he hated reminders of himself, of his shame. He did not bend until his sixth year, and Zuko's struggles made him remember, I think. You think of my brother as unbelievably powerful, and he was, but he did not start that way. He worked and worked—worked much, much harder than I ever have in my life—until he became so powerful that only The Avatar could defeat him."

"He worked like Zuko."

"Yes, but there is a crucial difference." Iroh sighed, bringing a heavy hand to his brows. "Zuko had a supportive uncle while Ozai had a resentful brother. I suspect if I treated Zuko as terribly as I treated Ozai, Zuko would be just like his father."

Katara found herself speechless, watching as Iroh stared down at his hands, seeing things that she never could.

She swallowed and placed a hesitant hand on his own. "What about your son and Zuko? Were they close?"

Iroh inhaled deeply, gathering his words. "Oh, yes, Princess Katara, they were close—and Azula, too. Lu Ten dearly loved both his cousins and would take every opportunity to play with them. Matter of fact, it was he who showed them the secret passages and how to prank the servants. Zuko specifically adored Lu Ten and viewed him more as a brother than a cousin, and I dare say that Azula once felt the same. My son would often spend time with Zuko and Azula instead of training, an annoyance to my father but one that he allowed through my persuasion. They were all as close as siblings. For Zuko's fifth birthday, Lu Ten gifted him with the Dao swords that you have seen him wield."

Katara nodded and she could still visualize the awkward picture that Zuko had presented when he found them at the Western Air Temple with only his swords and a small sack. "I've seen them."

"Lu Ten taught him initially until he left to join me in the war effort." Iroh squeezed his eyes shut. "I was ambitious. There were always two royals who fought throughout the Great War. Sozin was by himself for a little over a decade before my father entered the war as a teenager and augmented Fire's capabilities; he changed the course of a battle with his presence. It was Fire Lord Sozin and Prince Azulon wielding power against the other nations, and, eventually, it became Fire Lord Azulon and Prince Iroh. I wanted to make it three royals in the war, thinking it would finally end the war and bring us victory. Not even King Bumi could endure all three of us. It would be Fire Lord Azulon, Prince Iroh, and Prince Lu Ten. But my father refused to fight, leaving it to me and Lu Ten. My father ordered me to conquer Ba Sing Se to deprive King Bumi of his allies and supply chain. The three of us planned the attack for months until we were ready. I laid siege to Ba Sing Se for six hundred days, never ceasing, my wrath at its peak. It was expected that Ba Sing Se would fall before my genius and power, but Dai Li agents kept that from happening; they were a blistering thorn in our side, continuing to kill many of my men before they could react. They would pop out of the ground and kill as many soldiers as they could, and then they would vanish like smoke."

That didn't surprise Katara. "The Dai Li are quite problematic, and I can say that from personal experience."

"I did what my father did before me and fought in the front lines, but I am not my father and do not possess his genius; my impact was not enough to shift the balance. I became sloppy, focused severely on the battle, and I lost contact with Lu Ten for days." Iroh closed his eyes. "He loved women; many great men do, but he did not live long enough to become a great man. From what I pieced together, he fell in love with a girl from one of the provinces outside of Ba Sing Se, a province from where we would take food if we were low on supplies, which happened more often than you think because of King Bumi's extensive reach. He may have sired a child by this girl for all I know, for I know so little, not even her name, but several of Lu Ten's men told me about her. She was a pretty girl and possessed a smile that lured him in for the Dai Li, who used her to get to him to capture him. I can only assume how he was captured, but I received a letter from the Dai Li, who demanded I surrender, or they would surrender Lu Ten of his head."

Katara swallowed. "What did you do?"

Iroh closed his eyes. "I kidnapped an earthbending boy from one of the nearby provinces and ordered him to tunnel me into Ba Sing Se or I would burn his family alive before I killed him."

She gasped, finally believing Iroh when he claimed he was once a monster; it seemed suddenly easy to remember that he was descended from Sozin and was feared by the entire Earth Kingdom—and likely her own people—for over a decade. "What?"

"I never knew his name; I didn't care to know it." Specks of golden flames seemed to ignite in his eyes. "All I cared about was saving my son, and this boy—who was no older than Avatar Aang when he confronted Ozai—tunneled me into Ba Sing Se, and I took him with me when I captured one of the Dai Li and tortured him for information on my son. Once I knew Lu Ten's location, I killed the agent and ordered the boy to sneak me into the Dai Li compound, and he did—until he betrayed me and gave up our location while we were in the compound. I killed him in my rage and surrendered to the Dai Li, surrounded. I ordered they take me to Lu Ten so I could verify he was alive. Only then would I order my army to surrender and return to the Fire Nation. The Dai Li agreed, and my son was brought to me." Iroh shuddered, and his breathing quickened, coming in slight gasps. "His hands and feet were crushed—likely by boulders—which deprived him of his ability to bend. I doubt even a Waterbender such as yourself, Princess Katara, could have healed the vast damage."

Katara swallowed. "I'm sorry."

"They demanded I sign an armistice and cessation of our conquered territory while they held a dagger to Lu Ten's throat. Lu Ten told me to give 'those dust-eaters nothing,' but I did. I signed it. But when I finished signing the parchment, I reached out to hand it to the leading agent. When he reached out to accept it, I made it aflame and blew the flames into his face. Then I sprang into action. Lu Ten dove to the side, which left a gash on his neck from the knife, but it was not fatal. I fired lightning and flame in tandem, destroying everything around me—but not everyone. I killed so many agents in my wrath, but some slipped my gaze." Iroh began to weep, and Katara felt her own tears flow—not just for the inevitable but for all the lives that were killed needlessly, for the Great War was entirely pointless! "I would have died that day by the boulder meant for me, but Lu Ten, even without the use of his feet, managed to push me out of the way; his chest was crushed by the boulder, but he was still alive and there was so much blood. I snapped, and I murdered everyone. I picked him up, broke us out of the compound, and raced to the outer wall. That is how I breached Ba Sing Se's outer wall—I was already inside and, in my desperation to save my dying son, I fired lightning endlessly, depleting my strength, but it was enough. I broke through the outer wall, and my men swarmed in, distracting the revived Dai Li and the army of Earthbenders. I raced for a medic, but it was too late. My son was gone, and the worst part is that I never felt him die. I remember looking down at him in my arms as I was running, and he looked back at me, trying to speak, and the next moment I looked at him, he was gone."

"I'm sorry," she repeated, unable to say anything else.

Iroh looked at her, eyes teary and sorrowful. "I understand regret, Princess Katara. It was my folly that killed Lu Ten—my utter belief in Fire's supremacy. But Earth defeated me in the worst ways for a man, depriving me of my pride and joy, my son and heir, whom I loved more than anyone. But it was not Earth alone that deprived me of Lu Ten; it was Fire, too, which is impossible if Fire is supreme above all else. Ozai is responsible for Lu Ten's death."

Katara blinked. "What? I thought the Dai Li- "

Fists clenched, and the air became hot, bearing down on Katara. "Ozai commissioned them to assassinate Lu Ten—and likely me. It was a scheme for the Dragon's Throne, one that succeeded."

"He really is a monster- "

"A monster of my own making," Iroh interrupted hollowly. "Lu Ten would still be alive I was not a monster to Ozai, teaching him what it means to be a monster."

"Maybe."

Iroh shook his head. "I could have taken Ba Sing Se once I breached the outer wall, for my men were all inside and slaughtering everyone; it was complete momentum for Fire. But I was too drained and distraught. The cost for Fire's momentum was Lu Ten, and that was too great a cost. To the horror and disgust of many, I ordered Fire's retreat from Ba Sing Se when we were about to achieve the victory we spent six hundred days fighting for. Many of my own men hated me for the decision, and some even dared say it to my face, arguing that Lu Ten's death was a necessary sacrifice for Fire's glory. They declared that I insulted Lu Ten by not slaughtering Ba Sing Se and razing it to the ground; they said that a real father would have stayed and fought and avenged his son's death."

Katara swallowed. "Did you kill them for saying that?"

"Yes. I was so angry, and I challenged everyone to an Agni Kai. Everyone had to accept, or they were honorless, and I killed every one of my challengers. I was mad with grief- "

"Like you were when your wife died," she whispered.

"Yes. And I turned the army against me. They hated me for my cowardice and cruelty. So, I fled in the night, taking very little. I wandered the Earth Kingdom, looking for something unattainable—death. I tried to kill myself, but I could never go through with it. I loved living too much, even those days after Lu Ten's death, I loved living; it was all I knew. And I felt too ashamed to kill myself, to see him again in the Gardens of the Dead. I failed to save him and, thus, I did not deserve to see him. The news of my father's death reached me; the news of Princess Ursa's disappearance reached me; the news of my brother's ascension to the Dragon's Throne reached me; the news of everything that happened in that year I was gone reached me. But I never cared, not even about my father's death; I was numb. My father's death was astonishing, considering his vitality and strength, and when I heard that his dying wish for Ozai to succeed him on the Dragon's Throne, I knew he was assassinated—likely by Ozai himself. At any time, I could have returned to the Fire Nation and challenged my brother to an Agni Kai, but I never did. I was on a quest for death, despite my failures at suicide." Iroh shook his head, looking disbelieving. "I traveled to Omashu and screamed for King Bumi to face me, the Dragon of the West, heir of Sozin, and I kept screaming until I was hoarse—and still I screamed. I don't know how long I did it, but King Bumi finally came out, and he defeated me promptly. And I was ready for death, weeping—I think I begged Bumi for it—but Bumi spared me and brought me inside Omashu."

Katara's eyes widened. "Really?"

Iroh nodded, and he wiped tears from his eyes. "Yes. I love him. He is the truest friend I have ever had in my life. I would die for him. He saved my life. I was inside Omashu, the very stronghold that my father, for decades, yearned to be inside of to conquer, but it was in that enemy camp where I changed. Bumi spared me for months when he had every right to kill me. He even let me play with his grandchildren, who were small and delightful. I have never been able to discern why he showed me such kindness when I never deserved it. All he ever said was that it was something that 'someone he once knew would do.'"

Katara swallowed. "Do you think he was talking about Aang?"

Iroh bowed his head. "I have my suspicions, yes, but only Bumi can answer that. I went to Omashu to die, provoking Bumi to kill me, but he saved my life and helped give me a new purpose. He is a great man, indeed, one of the foremost of great men to ever walk this world, but he is an even better good man."

"And you just stayed there?"

"No, Bumi challenged me a lot, pressed me to think and look at things differently. But I still wanted to die. However, one day while in Omashu, I woke up in the Spirit World, the very Gardens of the Dead."

"I thought only Aang could enter the Spirit World," Katara whispered in shock.

Iroh smiled but sorrow was evident. "Yes, only The Avatar can enter the Spirit World at will whenever he wants, no matter what is happening around him. But you mistake it as my will that sent me into the Spirit World."

Katara blinked. "Who pulled you into the Spirit World."

"Avatar Roku," Iroh responded, voice soft, and she sat straighter. "I woke up, and he sat in front of me, luminous but transparent, not fully there—for he still lived in Avatar Aang. And there was a Pai Sho board between us. I thought he was going to be my torment, but he assured me he was not. It is a conversation I still have trouble believing, but I know it happened."

"What did he say?"

"He said: 'Peace is your pursuit, but this pursuit will not bring you peace. The world needs your help. I failed in my duty, Prince Iroh. Will you fail in yours? Will more fathers be bereft of their sons as you are? When does the cycle of vengeance end? Will you stand forward and change your path? Will you help end the cycle of vengeance? Has a Child of Fire lost his will?' And I could not speak, too terrified, for Avatar Roku was imposing and severe; he judged me, and to be judged by an Avatar is a terrifying thing."

Katara swallowed, thinking of Aang's judgment against her. "It is."

"Avatar Roku told me to look to my left, and I did; it was my grandfather, who was much more visible and tangible than Avatar Roku."

Her jaw dropped. "Sozin?"

"Apparently, Avatar Roku interrupted their Pai Sho game to summon me," Iroh said with small amusement.

"But why would Avatar Roku be willing for Sozin to corrupt you?"

Iroh's smile was frayed and tired. "Because the Sozin you conceive is not the Sozin that was. My grandfather was a complicated man, and in the Spirit World, your truest self is revealed. He was as I remembered from my early years, for I knew Sozin during his final years."

Katara's lips parted. "He lived that long?"

"He reigned as Fire Lord for 128 years, the longest reigning Fire Lord in Fire's recorded history, and died at age 153."

She wavered at such knowledge. "That's impossible."

Iroh's smile became more amused and kind. "Benders can live a long time, Princess Katara. Considering how powerful you are, you are likely to live longer than most. Maybe longer than my grandfather, considering he died not of old age or disease but loneliness."

"I don't understand. Why would Roku let Sozin talk to you? He doesn't deserve rest in the Gardens!"

"My grandfather was a monster, yes, but he was not only a monster. He had a fierce love for his family; it was the reason why my father was not born for so long, for my grandfather loved his first wife so much that he refused to set her aside."

Katara tried to imagine it but couldn't. "That doesn't change anything- "

"Of course not," Iroh agreed, nodding his head. "It only adds complexity to him, for he was complex. And Avatar Roku wanted me to speak with him one last time. I think that he, after his death, saw what he had done to the world, and he regretted it; his eyes were finally open, and he saw without cravings for lust, war, and blood. And when I read his final testament, it cemented my belief. As I feel my own life dimming, I can't help but think of a time when everything was so much brighter, he wrote. That is not the reflection of a man proud of his accomplishments; that is the reflection of a man ashamed and regretful. My grandfather was many things, but at the heart of all his numerous contradictions was a fierce desire to be remembered and change the world."

"He succeeded," Katara muttered bitterly. "What did Sozin tell you?"

"He said: 'I was a conqueror who sired conquerors. I had an idea that could change the world, but that idea's inception was joyful, which is not the Great War. What I first imagined is not what I provoked, and I am at fault—forever. I was a harbinger of death, chaos, and confusion, and it is not what I wanted; I wanted advancement for everyone, but I only regressed everyone to their primal instincts toward war and blood; I wanted a united world like the ancient Fire tribes became unified after the Unification by Kai, but I only emphasized the disparity between the races of each element, provoking primal connections and loyalties. I lived the remainder of my life in a perpetual state of fear after destroying Air. Do you fear, Grandson? Fear provokes a perception of what is not, a misunderstanding that results in atrocities. My vision for the world stretched so far that I could not see what was right in front of me, could not see how others would take advantage of my will to do good and distort it for their own benefits. I realize now that my ideas and intent were good but impossible—I dreamed of a better world instead of seeing the world as it is. I was as foolish, if not more, than those damned Arrowheads, whose murder was just due to the origin and cause. However, I still lost; Fire still lost—because I never conceived or foresaw the reaction. I damned our race to decades of futile, pointless warfare. Do not commit my mistakes, Grandson. I committed many, and my heirs commit many still. Will you redeem my failures? Will you redeem your lineage, which is so great and profound, that forgot its source in tradition? Conflict was once Fire's tradition, but Kai created new traditions upon the Unification, refining Fire for the better. We must not return to those primal traditions that once weakened us. I failed in my endeavors, and I reverted Fire back to its infant state our of desperation for us to survive. I cannot atone for my sins, but you can atone for yours, which have their source in me. Will you redeem me of my curse of darkness? Will you redeem yourself, Prince Iroh?' I agreed to pursue that redemption for my lineage, and Avatar Roku placed his hand on my shoulder, and we appeared in another part of the Gardens of the Dead."

Tears welled in Iroh's eyes, and Katara instinctively knew what happened. "Your son," she whispered, feeling a longing for something similar to happen to her so she could see her mother.

"And wife," Iroh added, tears streaming out of his eyes. "And The Avatar gave me that gift, and I am forever indebted to him. Lu Ten and Natsumi were there, and I spoke with them. They made me realize the lesson that Bumi kept telling me—my journey is not over. Though their lives were finished, mine was not—and it still is not. 'We are not dead, Father,' Lu Ten said to me. 'We are here in joy and tranquility. We have reached the next stage, and we wait you for you to join us here—but not yet. You have so much more to do and experience.' 'You raised our son so well, my love,' Natsumi said. 'But you have more raising to do. You failed Ozai, but will you fail Ozai's children? You once told me that you wanted to make a difference in the world like all men of your renowned lineage, but perhaps the difference is not in the world but in someone's life, someone who can make a difference in the world. You still hold so much love in your heart, but do not reserve that love for us who are gone and not in need of it, for we are here in serenity. There are others in your family who need your love, Iroh. Your family—and the world—need you. We are okay, and we will be okay. You can go, my love; you can let go.' 'It is okay, Father,' Lu Ten said. 'You will be okay, too.'"

Katara wiped the tears from her eyes. "Your son and wife sound lovely; I wish I knew them."

Iroh smiled, and he seemed lighter; she suddenly realized that, probably, he had never confessed the events of his life to anyone. She felt honored that he chose her. "They would enjoy you."

"Better than Zuko does," she whispered, trying not to descend into her sorrow. "So, that's when you returned to the Fire Nation, right? After those conversations?"

"Not quite, Princess Katara. I remained in Omashu for a while longer, coming to terms with everything, processing the depths of my new commitment, and preparing myself for what I would have to undertake. That is when King Bumi revealed to me the existence of the Order of the White Lotus, and he recommended me to the others when they were, understandably, doubtful. I vowed to end the Great War and redeem my lineage, and they believed me. Between Bumi's conviction in me and Avatar Roku appearing to me, they were convinced, and through bitter work, I rose to the rank of Grandmaster of Fire." Iroh laughed, and it was full of disbelief. Katara wondered if she could join the White Lotus organization. Since the Order is under The Avatar's control, Aang would probably give her his blessing. But then again, after everything, she highly doubted that Aang wanted anything to do with her. "I marvel at Life, Princess Katara, for what impossible turns it takes! No one, not even The Avatar himself, can anticipate Life! You see, I hated King Bumi for so long, but he saved my life; he saw something in me that I never saw. I went to Omashu to die by his hands, but I walked away with a new purpose—to end the Great War—because he extended his hand in friendship, not to strike the mortal blow. Who could conceive that the Scourge of Fire—the same man who almost assassinated my father by dropping a mountain on him and would have if not for my father's instincts; the same man who washed himself with the blood of his victims of Fire and drank from their severed skulls; the same man who slept on the dreams and thoughts of all those of Fire he killed; the same man who terrorized the Fire Nation for decades because of his sheer influence and impact, propagated by horror stories that depicted a murdering monster, resolved on destroying Fire; the same man who vowed publicly to castrate all of those with Sozin's blood, eating testicles and crushing wombs; the same man who, it is said, would howl Sozin's name in fury, screaming it until Heaven recoiled at his raw intensity, every morning he awoke and realized the Great War was not all a night terror—would save my life, an heir of Sozin? No one! And I am in awe. A lot can happen in a single year, as you well know, and that is what happened to me and how I changed in a single year upon my return to the Fire Nation. But things were so different upon my return; it should have been impossible, but it was true and real. I prepared myself extensively, but I could have never imagined what awaited me upon my return to my home."

Katara tensed and felt anxiety, specifically upon realizing what Zuko must have endured. "What happened?"

"What did not happen?" Iroh asked, shaking his head. "Everything was different, so very different. Princess Ursa was gone, my father was dead, Ozai was Fire Lord, the Noble Houses scorned me, and Zuko and Azula lived in terror." He turned to her, golden eyes deadly serious. "They were not the children I remembered. Zuko was angrier and distrustful, and Azula closed herself off so no one could hurt her, and neither of them trusted me in the slightest. I failed to ingratiate myself toward Azula, which I will always regret knowing the later results, but I did manage to win Zuko's attention eventually; it took almost a year for him to look at me with trust and faith. But only a month or so later, he was banished, and I left with him, leaving Azula with Ozai. It was an easy but impossible choice. Zuko needed me more in that moment. I wish I could have taken Azula with me, but Ozai would have never allowed it. So, I traveled with Zuko during his exile for years, slowly trying to heal his perception, all the while remaining in contact with the Order of the White Lotus to undermine Ozai's rule, and you surely know the rest."

"Not as much as I would like," she whispered after several moments, wetting her lips and summoning her courage. "Zuko is mad at me."

"Very much so," Iroh agreed, taking a sip from a teacup—she had no idea where he got it from.

"I know why he's so mad, and I deserve it, but I'm trying. I didn't think things would be okay by now, but I thought things would be a little better after our first conversations the more we talked. But it's not."

Iroh stared at the turtle ducks for a moment, inhaling slowly. "You seek understanding of Zuko."

"Yes. How do I fix it?"

"It is not up to you to fix it, Princess Katara. You are doing all you can; it is up to Zuko to meet you halfway."

Katara swallowed. "I'm not sure he will."

"And that would be his choice," Iroh replied, eyes assessing her briefly. "You claim to be his friend- "

"I am his friend, but I've done a poor job of showing it."

"- but if he does make that choice, will you accept it? Will you be a good friend and accept his choice even if it hurts you?"

She squeezed her knees to her chest. "I don't know. I want him back; I want that connection we always shared."

Iroh sighed and was quiet for several moments, seeming to come to a decision. "If you wish to understand, you must understand Zuko, which is a complex undertaking. He never had any friends during his childhood. The only people he knew were his father, mother, grandfather, uncle, Lu Ten, and Azula. While he would often play with Azula and Lu Ten, they were not friends, they were family. There is a crucial difference, yes?"

"But what about Mai and Ty Lee? Weren't they his friends?"

"No," he responded adamantly, surprising her. "Never think that. Mai and Ty Lee were never Zuko's friends; they were Azula's friends, and that was all."

"I didn't know."

Iroh refilled his teacup. "My nephew has never trusted easily, Princess Katara, never. There have been few he has ever trusted with his life: me, his mother, Azula at one point, Lu Ten, and your group. When the Great War ended, Avatar Aang was the only person who chose to remain in contact with Zuko."

"And we broke the trust," she said softly.

"Yes," he answered, nodding. "I am afraid I broke his trust, as well. I was not around much since the Great War ended, either. I feared what my presence near would provoke; I thought that if I stayed, peace would never be a possibility. I was wrong, of course; I committed a foul error, to my shame and regret. Although we both wrote to each other constantly, there is a big difference between a conversation on paper and one face-to-face. But I feared for him. Zuko had no one, especially after Avatar Aang departed from the Fire Nation to aid the other nations in their rebuilding efforts. He had no friends, and his only faithful companion for many years was Azula herself, whom he would visit every day in her prison, from Zuko's own words. So, when Zuko wrote me, revealing that he had finally found his mother, I was so happy, Princess Katara, and it was a joy to see her again- "

"What?" Katara interrupted in shock. "Ursa's alive? She's not dead?"

"Yes." Iroh looked over at her in bemusement, head tilted, golden eyes considering. "Dowager Fire Lady Ursa was with us last night during our meal upon Avatar Aang's return with Azula."

Silence.

"She was the one sitting next to Azula," she breathed out softly in realization, blinking rapidly. She had just thought that it had been an unfortunate advisor or servant who had been forced to sit next to Zuko's bitch of a sister. But now, she realized how blind she truly had been. Azula and her mother looked almost identical, except Ursa was older and more mature. The resemblance was so obvious, too obvious! How could she have not seen it?

Because she hadn't wanted to; deep down, she must have known that the similarities were too great, that the utter vehemence at which Ursa glared at Katara and Sokka was too great for anyone but of familial relation to Azula. Instead, she refused to contemplate it, coming to the obvious truth. For all of the resemblance between Zuko and his father, there was just as much resemblance between Azula and her mother.

"I didn't know," she murmured, hands clenching in the fabric of her gown.

Iroh's sigh was loud and piercing. "Zuko did not tell you. I wish that I was surprised, but I am not. My nephew can keep a grudge better than anyone except Ozai."

"I'm glad he found her," Katara murmured, feeling a panging of envy and grief. They had shared a connection, she and Zuko, with the loss of their mothers. But now, Zuko somehow got his mother back in his life, which was incredible, but Katara would never get her mother back, left only with a necklace. She wanted to be happy for him, she truly did, but anger rose in the back of her throat, simmering in a cauldron of jealous bitterness.

"You should be happy for Zuko, not jealous, Princess Katara," Iroh advised, golden eyes shadowed with disappointment.

Katara shook her head, tears springing in her eyes. "I am deeply happy for him, really, but I wish that happiness extended to me; I wish my mother could be found anywhere but the Gardens of the Dead." The water in the pond began to swirl slowly, reacting to her emotions. "It's the one thing I have wished for every night since the day she was murdered, but my wish will never come true. I wish I could remember her without seeing her scorched body; I wish I could hear her voice like I used to. But now I can't remember her voice; it's been too long. I wish she were here every day to be my mother, someone I need so desperately, even now." Katara sniffed, and her hands shook as the tears blurred her vision. "I know she knew I loved her; I know she knew I adored her; I know she knew how much I looked up to her and wanted to be like her; I know all of that—I do. But I just wish that I could tell her all that one more time—because she was worthy of it and deserved it. She was amazing, and I try to do her memory proud, but I know I fail every day. I will never be the mother she was. Look at how I treated Aang!" Something cracked inside her, and she gasped, feeling panicked horror. "I abandoned him and Zuko like they were nothing! My mother would have never done that! She'd be so ashamed of me—I know she is!"

Iroh gazed at her with compassion. "You only knew of your mother as Mother; you never knew her when she was a girl, least of all when she was your age dealing with so much. I think your mother would recognize the pressures you were under- "

"She was strong," she hissed, squeezing her eyes shut. "When they came for me, she lied to Yon Rha's face and told him that she was the last Waterbender in the South rather than me; she did it calmly, and she stared her death in the face and didn't fear it. She was strong and did what she had to, even though it was impossible, but I wasn't strong after the War and didn't do what I knew I should do—message Aang and Zuko—because of my stupid nightmares!"

Iroh sighed. "If such a scenario happened on this day, there is no doubt in my mind that you would make the same sacrifice. But you have had bad days, and, whether you remember or not, your mother had bad days when she was not her best. But she was her best on her final day, and for that, she has all my admiration and respect."

Katara swallowed. "But Aang and Zuko- "

"Zuko and Avatar Aang did not have the luxury of sifting through all of those experiences of the Great War, processing them as they should be processed; one is the Fire Lord, and the other The Avatar—both are busy in a way my words cannot describe. But you had that luxury. And Zuko and Aang are resentful because of it."

She sniffed. "I think it's more than that."

"Probably. Zuko is very complex, and I can never assume to comprehend the totality of The Avatar—no one of either Realm can."

"I just want to fix it."

"Do you want to fix it for Zuko's sake or your sake?" Iroh asked, voice devoid of any judgment. "Do you wish to fix it so you can look at yourself in the mirror and feel free from guilt, or do you wish to fix it so Zuko can have the connection for which he desperately yearns?"

Katara swallowed. "Both."

Iroh only nodded. "Perhaps that is the wise approach. I made a decision—leaving the Fire Nation for Ba Sing Se after the Great War—strictly for Zuko's sake, and it backfired terribly. I worry for my nephew, Princess Katara. Do you worry for him?"

"Of course."

"Did you worry for him during the years you did not contact him?"

She nodded, feeling the weight of his gaze. "Yes. I thought about him—and Aang—a lot."

"And the more time that passed without contact, the more intensely you felt like you could not contact him?"

"Yes."

Iroh glanced at her. "Do you resent that he found his mother?"

Katara tensed, several shudders passing through her. "Yes."

"Very good," he praised, shocking her. "Zuko admires honesty; he despises deception. Be honest but not cruel with him."

"Honesty could be cruelty- "

"Only someone immature believes such nonsense," Iroh dismissed. "Truth can be painful, yes, but cruelty is something deliberate. Truth simply is and, thus, cannot be cruel, for cruelty is something designed and manipulated for impact, but Truth is stagnant but strong, incapable of being manipulated into cruelty—if you are mature."

She sniffed, wiping stray tears from her eyes. "I don't think I'm mature."

Iroh smiled. "Most are not. And let me divulge a secret to you—Zuko is immature, too."

A small laugh escaped her. "I don't think he'd appreciate that."

"He would appreciate the honesty but resent its implications."

"Was he always that way?"

Iroh's laughter was loud and genuine. "Princess Katara, you ask such interesting questions; you are authentic in your wonder. Yes and no, to answer your question. He was inconsistent, as all children are. Upon his mother's disappearance, he became consistent in all the wrong ways, devoted to a perception that would only cause harm—as epitomized by Azula when her mind shattered. When Ozai marred him and banished him, I thought he would look at it all differently, appreciating honesty, but he was stubborn as an Earthbender. He believed in his father when Ozai did nothing to deserve it for years."

Katara found herself unable to breathe, and she reached out and placed a hand on Iroh's arm to steady herself; her mind rebelled, trying to process what Iroh said. Those horrifying, monstrous words washed over her, pounding in her ears with the force of an angry Earthbender, causing her heart to race and her pace to pale, a horrified mass of disbelief.

"Ozai is why he has his scar?" she whispered, voice breaking in horror.

Iroh's eyes widened with dread. "Oh, dear, Zuko will be most furious with me. I assumed you knew, but I should have known you did not." He frowned at her, golden eyes remembering an event that she could never imagine. "Yes, Ozai brought his flame-filled hand down to Zuko's face, marring him forever, fastening a brand for all to see. Zuko was twelve years old, a few weeks from thirteen when it happened. That was why my nephew was so fearful for Avatar Aang on Sozin's Comet; if my brother was willing to maim his own twelve-year-old son for simply speaking out of turn, what would he do to a twelve-year-old Avatar who he knew was the only being in both Realms who could end all of his glorious plans of world rebirth for only Fire?"

Katara gasped as harsh tears flooded her vision. No, that couldn't be right, it couldn't! No one was that cruel, but then again, it was Fire Lord Ozai, the man who had wanted to burn the entire Earth Kingdom to ash. And Zuko had called him 'the worst father in the history of fathers' on Ember Island all those years ago.

She felt sick and envisioned Zuko, a twelve-year-old boy, the same age as Aang had been, kneeling before his father, begging for love and receiving a scar instead. She felt insurmountable guilt crash upon her, and the tears spilled down her cheeks, splashing against the grass with the force of boulders.

"I'm sorry," she choked out, unable to say anything else, for the tears were too strong.

"I did not stop it," Iroh whispered, voice mournful. "The moment Zuko kneeled before Ozai, pleading for mercy, I knew the result; I knew what would happen; I knew. But I only stood there and watched and did nothing while Zuko screamed. I have failed intently when it comes to Zuko, too, Princess Katara."

"But he forgave you," she managed to say through her weeping.

"Because I worked for it," he replied. "But based on several things Zuko has said to me, I may not be forgiven all the way yet. But it matters not if it takes the rest of my life—Zuko is worth it."

Katara nodded ardently and rapidly. "Yes, he is. He is worth so much."

"You are dedicating yourself to earning his forgiveness?"

"For both of us," she clarified. "We need each other; we all need each other. He's my friend."

"I wish you luck."

"But why did he never say anything?" she demanded, still trying to comprehend the unholy truth of Zuko's scar. "We would have helped him—I would have!"

Iroh only raised an eyebrow and stared at her pointedly. "Would you share something so personal to a group of people whom you hardly knew, Princess Katara? Make no mistake, Zuko willingly joined your group to end the War, but upon his arrival at the Western Air Temple, he was prepared for death by any of your hands except Avatar Aang's; he trusted none of you except Avatar Aang, a trust well-placed considering what happened after the War's conclusion. Zuko has never trusted easily, and to share something so intimate, the event that makes all other events in his life only a response, to a group who vocally declared they would kill him was irrational. Thinking on it now, I would be worried if he did share it with any of you but Avatar Aang."

"Does Aang know?"

"Yes. Zuko told him while he stayed in the Fire Nation after the War. You could feel The Avatar's rage all the way in Ba Sing Se on that day."

Katara put her face in her hands, shaking her head in disbelief. "All this time, I never knew. I always wanted to be someone who could be trusted with such information, but Zuko never trusted me."

"You did drop contact for years," Iroh pointed out, making Katara flinch.

"Why do I keep messing up?" she wondered, blinking away the tears.

Iroh hummed and took a sip from his teacup. "Only you can determine the reason, Princess Katara. Maybe there are many reasons. Perhaps you must look outside of yourself, outside of your emotions, and consider others."

"But I do!"

"Your actions in dropping contact do not correlate with such a claim," he observed sternly, eyes holding her in place. "You did not think of Zuko or Avatar Aang- "

"I did!"

"But you never acted on your thoughts, and you never considered either with rational honesty."

Katara blinked. "What do you mean?"

"You mentioned nightmares- "

"Terrible ones."

"I believe you," Iroh said with a small, kind smile. "I know nightmares, as well—but so do Zuko and Avatar Aang. However, Zuko and Avatar Aang did not let their nightmares stop them."

Katara's fists clenched in her lap. "So, you think I'm weak?"

Iroh shook his head. "No, of course not. I think you recognized an opportunity and pursued it; you realized, deep down, that you had the luxury to indulge in your nightmares and isolate yourself in the South, breaking all contact from Zuko and Avatar Aang by wielding the excuse of your nightmares."

She swallowed. "You make it sound sinister. It wasn't; it was a mistake."

"We are all capable of being monsters, Princess Katara," Iroh said, gazing at her with his golden eyes. "Perhaps you must realize that you can be a monster."

Katara remembered Hama and smiled tightly. "I understand that I can be a monster- "

"But only to your enemies, not those you love."

Something cold swept through her. "No, I- "

"What you did could be considered monstrous," he observed calmly. "If you looked at it with rational honesty rather than emotionally, you would see a simple truth—there are people who have lost far more than you, far more than you ever will."

She tensed before nodding. "Aang and Zuko."

"And certainly others, but Avatar Aang is the foremost recipient of Loss, and I think Zuko has lost much in his life, a lot more than you have based on what I know about you." Iroh's voice was tranquil, and she felt the familiar rage thrash in her heart, but this time, she listened instead of reacting. "Think about it, Princess Katara; do not feel—think. No one's life is perfect, but some are better than others. I believe, rationally, that your life has been better than Zuko's and certainly Avatar Aang's. After your mother's death, you had your Tribe, father, brother, and grandmother. Zuko had no one except me for a single year before his banishment, Azula when they were children before Ozai corrupted her, and his mother until she disappeared. Now, if you feel all the grief you feel for your mother, who is only one person, no matter how beloved and perfect, think of the grief that Zuko feels for the many losses he suffered. I reckon it is more than you. And if you take my niece into account, she had it worse than Zuko did, for she never had anyone after Dowager Fire Lady Ursa fled, something which I truly regret. I should have spent more time with her before it was too late; maybe things could have been different, then."

Katara frowned, one word standing out above all the others. "Fled? Why did Zuko and… Azula's mom have to flee?"

Iroh's lips parted, and his eyes closed before they reopened, and she was struck by the severity in them. "What I am about to reveal to you is something that must never leave your lips or be written by your hand. Do you understand?"

"Yes, I understand." She leaned forward, yearning to understand the history of Zuko's life. "Why did she flee?"

"After Ozai commissioned the Dai Li to assassinate Lu Ten, and my subsequent failure to conquer Ba Sing Se, he demanded an audience with our father, and he requested to be named the heir to the Dragon's Throne because my line was dead. He claimed that Agni himself had shown me disfavor, allowing my only son to die."

Her jaw dropped slightly, lips parted. "That's awful."

Iroh's voice was soft, and his eyes were dim. "That is my brother, and I must say he learned much of it from me before I changed. But my father was enraged at Ozai and sought to punish him severely; he knew the truth of Lu Ten's death, based on what Ursa has shared."

"What was the punishment?"

"He was going to force Ozai to sacrifice his firstborn so he would know how it feels."

Katara's eyes bulged from their sockets in disbelief and horror. "Zuko's grandfather ordered his death?"

Iroh smiled tightly. "No, but that is how it seemed, yes? Azula listened to the conversation and, as a result, my sister caught word of it. She went to my brother, demanding the truth, and Ozai lied, and she believed him—because she loved him."

She swallowed, remembering Iroh's earlier observation. "She loved a monster."

"Just as my wife loved one," Iroh agreed. "And my father's life was the price of her love for my brother. Ozai claimed he was ordered by my father to murder Zuko, and Ursa lost her reason while my father lost his life. She assassinated my father, a most impressive feat considering not even Bumi managed to assassinate him, and opened the path for Ozai to ascend to the Dragon's Throne."

"Th- that's… I can't even imagine how you feel," she said at last, shocked by the story. She hated Fire Lord Azulon, but to be murdered by someone of your own family was horrible. "Zuko's mom, your sister, killed his… grandfather, your father?"

Iroh's smile was old and sad. "Yes. But where my sister thought my father ended Zuko's future by his order to Ozai, he actually ensured his future."

"What do you mean?"

"Zuko was never to die; he was to be taken away from Ozai and given to me, for me to raise as my own son and heir—and Azula, too." Katara's breath stilled. How could Zuko's father be so… devious? "My brother was to be disowned and exiled to the Earth Kingdom, titleless, and I would have married Princess Ursa, producing more children at my father's behest."

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "You've lost a lot, too. You lost your wife and your son. I lost Aang, but it's not the same."

"Good," Iroh commended, staring at her, and she couldn't look away; she didn't want to. "And speaking of Avatar Aang, think of his loss—think about it. You will never comprehend it—no one will—but you can think about it. He lost his entire race. Can you imagine it, your entire Tribe wiped out, the Northern Tribe exterminated, and no more Waterbenders in the entire world, all lineages of Water gone forever?"

Katara clamped a hand over her mouth, remembering her overly emotional cruelty when she left to find Yon Rha and Aang's fury the previous night when she went to his room to see if he wanted to talk. "He does understand," she whispered, panicked, finally understanding. "What was I thinking? What have I been thinking?"

Iroh gazed at her with kind, steady eyes. "The time for ignorance is over, Princess Katara. I believe this fight with Dark will be far more difficult than our fight against Ozai to end the Great War. All of us, your group included, need to have everything on the table, no secrets or bitterness among us. All of you are adults and it is time you realize what that means."

"I know."

He winked and gazed past her. "There's someone else who still needs to learn this lesson."

Katara turned around and saw Zuko staring at her with a furrowed brow from the beginning of the royal garden. She had no idea how he had snuck up on them or how much he had heard, but it didn't matter. She knew what she had to do, so standing to her feet slowly, she bowed quickly to Iroh.

"Thank you for sharing such intimacy with me," she whispered. "And thank you for your honesty. I am honored."

Iroh beamed at her. "It has been my pleasure, Princess Katara. Your company is enjoyable."

Katara smiled slightly and turned around, walking across the soft grass towards Zuko.

He looked at her approaching form warily but made no move to stop her. When she was close enough to feel his breath on her skin, she smiled softly, craning her head upwards to stare into his golden eyes—one surrounded by heavy scarring was apparent, which she now knew the source of.

"I know you're angry with me," Katara murmured, holding his gaze. "And I deserve all of it. You may not be my friend, but I'm your friend, and I'm going to be here when you need me; I'm not making the same mistakes. I'm going to gain your trust back, no matter how long it takes. You're worth the wait."

Zuko looked speechless, stunned by her words.

Katara smiled at him one last time and left the royal garden, and as she stepped into the hall, she felt better than she had in a long time, a refreshing relief.

"Excuse me, Princess Katara, but do you need help?"

She looked to her right and saw the Imperial Firebenders; she felt drained from her talk with Iroh, but she needed to have one more conversation with his advice fresh in her mind. "Yes, I do, thank you. Can you guide me to the guest wing of the palace? I need to speak with my brother."

"Of course, Princess Katara. This way."

The trip was much quicker than she anticipated, but upon reaching Sokka's door, she knocked and waited patiently as the Imperial Firebenders bowed and departed.

Within moments, Suki opened the door with a small smile. "Come in. What is it?"

Katara stepped into the room and saw Sokka sitting in one of the chairs. "I wanted to talk to you, Sokka, if that's alright."

Sokka huffed. "It's not."

Suki rolled her eyes and grabbed her hand, pulling her to the chair across from Sokka. "It is alright. I've been telling him to- "

"Nagging me to."

"- put all this behind you two. It's pointless."

Katara smiled. "Thank you, Suki. He and I really need to talk- "

Sokka waved his arms. "No, we don't! I'm okay with not talking- "

"Which would only make you more mopey," Suki interrupted. "You're starting to act like Zuko."

"You take that back!" he cried out, eyes widening in outrage. "I am not like that Jerkbender!"

Katara smirked. "But you want a beard like his."

Sokka raised a rigid finger. "That's separate. The fact he has such a great beard has nothing to do with me wanting to be like him."

"If you're going to be Chief of Water, you may want to take a few cues from Zuko," she said with a slight shrug. "How he's handled Kuei is really admirable."

"Of course, you'd think that," he muttered, crossing his arms with a surly expression.

Suki smiled as she stood up. "I'll leave you two alone; I'm going to get more acquainted with the palace's layout."

"No, Suki!" Sokka hissed, reaching out for her as she went for the door. "Don't leave me alone with her!"

"She's your sister."

"Who sabotaged me! Sabotaged us!"

Suki only continued walking to the door. "She's your sister, which is why you should forgive her."

"You're my wife, which is why you should be on my side!"

"I have been on your side, but I'm tired of your moping. Fix it, Sokka," Suki said with a final look and left the room.

Katara tried to smile. "I've been moping, too, if it helps."

"I'm sure Zuko makes it all better," he mumbled, crossing his arms.

"Zuko barely talks to me."

"He's got the right idea."

Katara sighed. "Probably. I don't deserve much. I've made a lot of mistakes. I'm sorry my decisions have affected you."

Sokka dragged a hand over his face, looking at her tiredly. "If you were really sorry, you'd go to Ba Sing Se and have Kuei make you a new betrothal necklace, giving him some spiel about how the last one broke because it wasn't made with the right materials to survive the cold in the South."

"I can make that same accusation, too," she pointed out. "If you were sorry that I was betrothed to a man I didn't want to marry, you would accept my choice with no questions asked, even if it was hard."

"It's different."

"What is the big deal about this, Sokka?"

Sokka squeezed his eyes shut. "I really wanted to be Chief of the North."

"Why?" she asked in disbelief.

"Well, it's a lot more power, and that's nice, but that's not really it- "

"But it's why Dad wants you to be Chief of the North—the extra power."

He nodded. "Yeah, but that's only a really nice bonus. I wanted that power, of course, but it was okay without it. I mean, I could go the virtuous route and claim it's because I don't want the North to be destroyed by a civil war after Arnook's death, but that's not it. I just wanted it so I could… redeem myself, I guess."

Katara nodded in understanding. "Yue?"

"Yes. I could get Yue back, fixing that tragedy by being in control of the North. She and I talked about me being Chief of the North and uniting the Tribes by marrying her, and I wanted to honor that dream; I wanted to honor her."

"Does Suki know?"

"Of course," he said with a slight laugh. "Like I could hide anything from her."

Katara hesitated. "And she's okay with that?"

Sokka sighed, quiet for several moments. "She's not happy about it, but she accepts it. The only way I'll have peace is if I get the North—Suki knows this."

"I don't think there's going to be peace," she whispered, thinking of Vaatu and Ozai. "With everything that's going on with Kuei and Zuko—and Ozai and Dark—it seems impossible."

"Do you know how long Dad and I fought for the North?" he asked quietly, eyes glazing with memories. "Years we spent arguing for it and trying to persuade Arnook. It was Dad, at first, but eventually, I was dragged into it, and I wouldn't leave until I got the position. But nothing was happening, and things seemed to get worse between the Tribes because we resented one another. And don't even get me started on that polardog-fucker, Hahn. But then Kuei stepped in, and I don't know what he said to Arnook or what he promised, but all of a sudden, Arnook made me heir of the North. Kuei did that for me when he didn't have to- "

"He had to if he wanted to marry me," Katara whispered, crossing her arms. "He wasn't some benevolent savior; he had an agenda. Getting you the North would be the only way Dad would ever give his blessing."

Sokka sighed. "It was a good deal, whatever your feelings are about it. It was a good deal; it was a lot more lenient than I originally thought. You had two years to come to terms with it- "

Katara's face pinched. "You've had over eight years to come to terms with Yue's death."

"That's different," he snapped. "I loved her; I would have died for her. It should have been me, not her. If Zhao were still here, I'd cook him alive. There was nothing to come to terms with for you! You don't love Kuei, so- "

"Exactly!" she interrupted. "I don't love him, and I know I never will since everything Zuko said about him, which is true. Toph would have said he was lying if he was."

Sokka crossed his arms. "She was probably afraid he'd try to murder her if she said something."

Katara's eyes narrowed. "What is with you? Be honest."

"You don't like when I'm honest."

"Because you have a bad habit of being gross about it." She raised a hand to stop his imminent rebuttal. "Just be honest, please. Don't be gross; be honest. Ever since we arrived, you've been acting differently. I mean, you said that terrible thing to Zuko. What did you expect? Of course, he was going to attack you for saying something like that."

"He said some terrible things to me- "

"Not to that degree," she stressed. "All he did is call you a coward and an idiot. What you did is call him a son who never deserved his father's love."

Sokka's jaw clenched. "He was treating all of us like polardog shit. He was treating you like- "

Katara waved a hand. "No, I deserve it- "

"No, you don't! After you talked to him at that Great Gathering, you were crying! And you looked like death for days! Even when we returned home, I'd see that you were crying sometimes, and I know it was because of whatever he said to you- "

"I really deserve it, Sokka. I—we—made choices that affected Zuko and Aang so terribly."

Sokka scoffed. "So, you buy that whole abandonment spiel Aang was throwing around?"

"Why don't you?"

"Because it's insane! He's too emotional to think clearly- "

Katara's brows rose. "Kind of like how you are about Yue?"

Sokka hissed between his teeth. "It's different."

"How? Both are emotional events. You were abandoned by Yue because of what Zhao did, and you want to make amends and honor whatever promises you made to each other by becoming Chief of the North. We abandoned Aang because we dropped contact and failed to prove that he's part of the family."

"He could have visited with Appa- "

"He could have," she agreed. "But this is what I'm talking about. You're acting differently. You're not seeing things clearly; you're only seeing one side when you used to be decent at seeing—or trying to see—both sides. And it came to a head when you talked to Aang," she added softly, remembering those shocking, dreadful moments. "Why would you provoke him like that? Calling Air 'damned' and 'nonsensical'? What did you expect? What were you thinking?"

Sokka rolled his eyes. "I know what you're doing. You're trying to distract me from you refusing to marry Kuei and sabotaging me- "

"It wasn't sabotage," Katara protested. "It wasn't. I wasn't even thinking of you when I made the decision!"

"Exactly! You should have thought of- "

"Oh, please, Sokka! Were you thinking of Suki when you agreed to become heir of the North? Were you thinking about her at all when you decided to honor a promise made to a dead woman?"

"At least I honor my promises! You can't keep your promise to marry- "

"I didn't make the promise to marry Kuei! You and Dad did! And I chose to follow my instincts after hearing about Kuei from Zuko because I know he's telling the truth. I regret that my decision hurt you, but I'd make it again," Katara confessed, shrugging slightly. "I never wanted to marry him. I thought I could after the Great Gathering because he was kind to me, but it's clear to me that I could never marry him, not with everything that he's done. And why would you want me to marry a man like that? Has the power and prestige of being Chief of Water blinded you to the wellbeing of your sister?"

"Of course not!"

"Then explain it, Sokka! How could you still want me to marry- "

Sokka slouched into his chair. "I owe him, Katara. He made me Chief of Water. It wasn't really Arnook; it was Kuei. He didn't have to do that for me, but he did. He gave me the chance to honor Yue- "

Katara shook her head in disbelief. "You think he did that out of the goodness of his heart? Do you really believe that? If so, you're more naïve than Aang ever was!"

"I know- "

"He didn't do it for you! He did it for himself! He's a born politician! He did it because in ways we can't see, it benefits him! And I'm not just talking about getting a beautiful bride- "

Sokka scoffed. "You're awfully full of yourself."

"He's the King of Ba Sing Se; he could have any woman he wanted- "

"Except Azula," he pointed out, looking shockingly amused. "He wanted her, but Zuko told him to get fucked by a dragon."

"But there's something that benefits him, and I don't know what it is, but I'm certain it's there."

"Maybe," Sokka admitted after several moments. "Dad's never really liked him. Maybe he suspected something, but his hands were tied."

Katara nodded. "And Dad said that he liked Zuko a lot and respected him. So, I'm following Zuko's lead—I want nothing to do with Kuei."

Sokka looked away before chuckling. "But Zuko does want Kuei—his head."

"Aang's going to make sure that everything will be alright," Katara said, adamant. "There won't be any sleeping with dragons, there won't be any more war, and all heads will stay where they belong."

"I hope so. But after Aang fixes everything, you'll have to face the consequences of your decision. Kuei won't be happy, and I won't be Chief of the North, which means civil war when Arnook dies. And any idea of the North and South ever being united again won't be heard for generations."

Rather than think about that because it was horrible and threatened to make her rethink her decision, she thought of Aang. "How do you think Aang is?" she asked softly.

Sokka shrugged, but his face was tight. "I'm not sure we should care."

"That's what got us into this problem in the first place. Aang thought we didn't care."

"He's an idiot."

"He was a child whom we failed to comfort," Katara corrected gently but sternly, feeling tears well in her eyes at how utterly she failed, in effect, her son. "He was a boy alone, and we kept him alone by not reaching out."

"He could have- "

Katara wiped tears from her eyes. "You put the pressure of the entire world on him as Avatar, and you put the pressure on him to reach out to us when we are older? When we have lost so very little next to him?"

Sokka rolled his eyes. "Here we go. The Air Nomads- "

"I wish you weren't out of your mind with Cactus Juice in the Si Wong Desert!" she cried out. "You don't remember what he was like then after Appa was kidnapped. He lost the last of his world, and he lashed out. But he still had us with him. But after the War, all he had was Appa and Momo and no one else. You think losing Yue was bad, but you still have me; you still have Dad; you still have Gran-gran; you still have Bato; you still have Suki, who loves you for reasons that are hard for me to remember sometimes. But Aang lost everyone except Appa, but Appa isn't the same. He lost Gyatso; he lost the boys he was raised with; he lost his friends; he lost everyone he ever talked to and laid eyes on. The world doesn't feel the same to him; it feels wrong and twisted; it feels empty."

Sokka swallowed and ran a hand over his face. "I can't imagine it."

"And I can't, either. But Aang doesn't need to imagine it—because he lives it. And I don't know how he was so okay during the War, but after, things changed—and we weren't there to help him."

"But he wasn't there to help me when I needed his help!" he snapped. "After Yue died, he told me that Gyatso said to him that loss was something you never lose, and then he told me just to accept Yue's death like it was nothing, like it didn't even matter! 'Yue's death is a big moment, but it's the little moments after that matter, Sokka. Gyatso said the little moments reveal who you are more than the big moments.' What kind of fucking advice is that?" Sokka clenched and unclenched his fists. "I wanted to hit him; I really fucking wanted to. But I didn't. And I let him keep saying all that fucking nonsense that he called advice when it did nothing but make things worse."

"What if that advice was his only way of remembering the Air Nomads?" she asked quietly, looking at events from all those years ago differently; things were making more sense. "You have such an amazing mind, Sokka—use it. Think about it. Use your imagination. You once thought waterbending was stupid and worthless, something impossible; you'd say it was a silly superstition. But you were wrong, weren't you?"

"I was," he mumbled.

"What if you're wrong about this?"

"I'm not."

"Why- "

"Because he was fine during the War! He was always sprouting those stupid proverbs- "

Katara remembered Aang's accusation that their conviction in Air's stupidity 'was on she and Sokka's faces' and shuddered. "He knew how we felt about those proverbs. But what if we were wrong to call them stupid? What if we weren't intelligent enough to understand- "

"Polardog shit! I'm smarter than those fucking Air Nomads who couldn't even survive a single day against Sozin!"

She flinched, recalling Aang's other accusation about Air's perceived weakness. "Sokka, do you think Aang might know what he's talking about when it comes to Air? How can you or I judge Air when we never met anyone of Air but Aang? How can we judge Air's proverbs and teachings when we don't know- "

"I can judge it all because none of it's useful! Clearly, not even Aang could follow it!"

"I don't think there are any proverbs or teachings that Aang could follow that would help him. His situation is unique. But Air must have- "

Sokka leaned forward, eyes daring. "So, you agree with the separating part? Aang told us what happens to the babies born to those nuns. The moment the babies don't need the milk—taken!"

Katara cringed. "I know; I know. To separate babies from their mothers is terrible to me and wrong. And I'm never going to defend it, but there are other things of Air that I think we're too stupid to understand."

"Speak for yourself," he muttered.

"I just hope he's alright and everything's going okay," she whispered, giving up and hugging herself. "I'm terrified that Azula is going with him, but I feel a little better that Toph's there to keep an eye on her if she tries something."

Sokka whistled, shaking his head. "I get the physical appeal of Azula—I mean, unlike Toph, I have eyes—but what is he thinking? I can't figure it out. If it was just sex, I think I'd applaud him- "

Her face twisted. "You're disgusting."

"- but it's clearly not just sex. He trusts her."

Katara sighed and closed her eyes. "I know."

"She must be really good."

"Sokka!"

"I know you're thinking it! She must be a model whore or something!"

"She's a model bitch," Katara mumbled.

"At least we can agree on that."

Katara stared at him for several moments. "Are we okay? Do you understand why I broke the 'contract'?"

Sokka sighed. "I think I understand it. But do you understand the consequences of you breaking the contract?"

"Yes."

"And you can live with them?"

"No," she answered. "But we'll come to a solution. If everyone would stop being so stubborn, we could reach a compromise."

He snorted. "Good luck. But maybe you were right to break it off. I'm starting to get the feeling that Kuei's been playing me."

"He's been playing everyone for years, it sounds like."

"Except Zuko. They've been playing against each other for years. I wonder how Zuko figured it out."

"I imagine the first assassin was very helpful," she whispered, feeling sick.

"And painful."

"To be Fire Lord means having a lot of enemies."

"Same for being The Avatar. Dark's hated him for ten thousand years."

"I hope Aang's okay," Katara murmured.

Sokka looked solemn. "Me too."

XxXxXxXxXxX

Well, that's all for this one, folks. Tell me what you think and leave a review; I'd really appreciate it.

**Azula and Zuko discuss Azula's nomination for Mother of Air. I hope her reasoning behind her claim makes sense, for she is genuine in making the claim. Being raised in a political environment by a father like Ozai, who had a keen understanding of politics, which explains his coup in seizing the Dragon's Throne by orchestrating his father and nephew's assassinations and succeeding past Iroh, Azula would easily suggest such a political union between she and Aang, recognizing the strengths and sense in such a union. It makes incredible sense politically and logically, which are on Azula's side, but Aang, of course, isn't buying it, thinking of if he could trust her. And also, Aang has other reasons for not wanting to accept Azula's nomination for Mother of Air.

Understandably, he doesn't want Air's future lineage, all of which stems from him, to be mired by the memory of Sozin's blood, which Azula carries. He wants Air to be free, but he doesn't think Air could ever be free if its future is tied to Sozin's blood, carrying the memory of trauma, grief, horror, and moral terror forever—for Air's new lineage is the combined lineage of Aang and whomever he chooses as Mother of Air, and if Azula is the Mother of Air, Sozin's lineage becomes incorporated into Air's new lineage. Aang doesn't hate Azula for carrying Sozin's blood; he hates Sozin himself, and his hatred is severe enough that it prevents him from looking past that memory of blood. Because it's a BIG ask by Azula for Aang to overlook something that monumental. Lineage plays a crucial role in bending, at least in my estimation, and the only lineage left in the entire world that has Air truly and purely, 100%, is Aang's lineage, the blood that flows in his veins. Now, out of all the other lineages in the world with whom he could revive Air, Azula suggests he combine his lineage with the lineage of the evil madman who is responsible for the lack of other Air lineages in the world! Yes, rationally, Azula's strategy makes sense but has zero emotional sense—because, despite her efforts, Azula cannot put herself in Aang's shoes, even though she likely comes closest to anyone else, considering her unique experiences growing up.

Sokka is fed up with Aang's distance and snide remarks to Katara. He's been on the receiving end of a few reality checks. First, with Zuko almost killing him in CH.4 because Sokka was pissed off because Zuko, truly, was being a Jerkbender. And second, with learning that Kuei wasn't all who he said he was and realizing that, maybe, he's been manipulated for a long time by Kuei. And thirdly, he realizes that he's missed a lot of context going around, and he's trying to catch up, which is always overwhelming, especially about things close to him. And Aang's cruelty toward him and Katara isn't going to be acceptable to him. Katara understands much more why Aang is angry, for she is much more emotionally intelligent than Sokka, who was shown in the show to be pretty close-minded about things (The Fortuneteller episode is probably the foremost example), so it seems realistic and reasonable that he wouldn't understand Aang's grief or bitterness with him and Katara. If he can't wrap his head around something, he's going to dismiss that something as absurd and impossible, hence his overreliance on science in The Fortuneteller episode to explain things, and he can't ever wrap his head around anything to do with Aang as anything but a child. How could he wrap his head around The Avatar? How could he wrap his head around Aang being the Last of Air? How could he wrap his head around Aang being bitter and resentful toward he and Katara when Aang could have visited on Appa over the years?

So, Sokka dismisses it all, letting his temper free, but the problem is that Aang's temper is infinitely worse than Sokka's—for Aang, truly, upon taking it to a reasonable and honest conclusion, has many reasons to have a temper and descend into wrath. And add into the fact that Sokka doesn't trust Azula in the slightest, which is fanned and fueled by his memories of Azula and Suki being on the receiving end of Azula's cruelty during the Great War, Sokka hates her and wants her dead. And the fact that Aang trusts Azula is a terrible betrayal to him and, in Sokka's mind, Suki. Again, Sokka literally can't wrap his head around it, looking at it from all possible angles.

I thought there were two scenes that really epitomized the disparity between Aang and Sokka. Aang ran away from the Air Temples rather than fight the Elders about the decision to separate him from Gyatso, whereas Sokka tried to go with his father to fight in the Great War, wanting to fight. And Sokka would know that, and there has to be a small part of him that always resented Aang's decision to run away considering everything that happened in the Great War—for what honest person wouldn't resent that decision after experience the horror and trauma of war? But Sokka is man enough to admit that he resents Aang running away and treating him and Katara like shit. But there is something to the idea that you must beware the wrath of a passive man rather than an active man. Whereas an active man (like Sokka who wanted to fight in the Great War even at such a young age and was desperate to go) will erupt all in one setting, making the potential destruction smaller over time, a passive man (like Aang, who was raised an Air Nomad and was taught pacifism, running away rather than fight, emphasized by his fleeing the Air Temples upon overhearing Pasang and Gyatso) will stew rather than erupt, letting the wrath marinate, refining it of its impurities until it is pure rage unadulterated, which makes the destruction unimaginable and catastrophic when he inevitably erupts—as seen later in this chapter.

And Sokka's denigration of Air and the Air Nomads makes perfect sense considering he is a man of action and despises passivity and pacifism, which he knows doesn't win in conflict, and the Great War was about winning the conflict. He has never known Air, so, automatically, he thinks Air is weak and unworthy because strength was needed to defeat Fire, and the Air Nomads CoUlDn'T hAvE pOsSiBlY hAd AnY sTrEnGtH bEcAuSe ThEy DiDn'T pUt Up A fIgHt AgAiNsT fIrE, right?! But Sokka doesn't realize that there is great strength in refusing to fight, too. There's almost a purer form of strength, for in refusing to fight and align with pacifism, you are truer to yourself and liberate yourself from being enslaved to your impulses and desires. What Aang perceives is that Air did not fight Fire, so they remained true to themselves, not compromising themselves and degrading themselves to match Sozin in his monstrosity. They did not succumb to the social pressure and expectation to fight Fire and kill and murder, to become a monster, which only war promotes. But Sokka doesn't understand any of that about Air because, frankly, he doesn't give a shit because it's not useful to him. Of course, he thinks Air's genocide was a great tragedy because everyone not indoctrinated by Sozin's anthem thinks it is a great tragedy, but the great tragedy is not considered, not really. He's never had time to consider it and consider Aang's position because he was always the leader of the Gaang and had other things to think about, and after the Great War ended and everyone went their separate ways, he didn't think about it because Aang wasn't around. It's just an automictic admission that it's tragic without any conscious, active consideration. Ironically, it's passive, and Sokka hasn't done the worked, hasn't fought to understand—because he is pretty close-minded.

And Sokka insults Aang because he wants a reaction, trying to find the Aang he once knew—but what he doesn't realize is that, tragically, the Aang that was is not the Aang that is. The boy he knew, in effect, is dead—or drowning under the lifetimes of grief and horror of the Air Nomad Genocide and being The Avatar, which Aang perceives as the source of the Air Nomad Genocide. Talk about an identity crisis, huh?

And what Aang doesn't understand because, understandably, he's only thinking about himself, Sokka is dealing with his own shit. But the thing is—Aang doesn't care because Sokka never cared about Air, scorning the wisdom of the ages propagated by Air.

**We get Iroh's point of view about his life and the death of Lu Ten. It makes sense that he would be a different character, just as was shown in the last chapter. His wife was never mentioned so I decided that she would "pull an Ilah" and die in childbirth, traumatizing Iroh even more—the two women whom he had loved most in the world had died the exact same way. And his treatment of Ozai was shown hidden in Canon, but if you truly look at it and make a few assumptions, it's there. Ozai wasn't just born a monster, so I showed more of Iroh's actions, such as burning his younger brother, that cemented Ozai's path to become a cruel tyrant.

Okay, in Canon, we've hardly ever heard of Fire Lady Ilah, wife of Fire Lord Azulon, and the mother of Iroh and Ozai. By the time of Azulon's death, we already know that she had died previously. It was clearly also shown that Iroh was Azulon's favorite and besides being the firstborn, I wanted another reason: the reason Ilah died was that of Ozai's birth. Because Ozai technically 'murdered' his mother, Azulon and Iroh both resented him greatly, though Iroh eventually tries to make amends, but by then, it's too late. I think that it greatly 'gels together' with Azulon's actions in CH. 1, when he had foretold Ozai's hated reputation throughout history, gaining vengeance on his son for murdering him. Azulon eventually did love his son, highlighted by the fact he could not execute for assassinating Lu Ten and letting him marry Ursa, but their relationship was most strained. But Azulon did love his grandchildren by Ozai because he was so fond of Ursa – and plus, they were of his blood.

I think that Ozai's characterization worked extremely well in the show because the show didn't need Ozai to be anything other than a firebending Hitler. He was the perfect big bad. But now, I wanted to delve into his past, to explore how he became the monster he did, and I think that I did that kind of well, at least.

How Iroh went into the Spirit World is revealed and I hope that it made sense. I always thought that he would have seen Lu Ten, and it was his son's spirit who had helped him see that his time wasn't over and that Zuko needed him. And I think that only an Avatar could pull Iroh into the Spirit World, so I chose Roku because Roku has a vested interest in the Fire Royal Family, since it contains his bloodline. So, he helps set Iroh back on his feet and Sozin does, too!

I hope Katara's envy for Zuko having found Ursa makes sense. Remember, she was completely envious of Aang when she had taught him waterbending from the stolen pirate scroll. Because of this, Aang never really put forth the effort to actually master waterbending in the series, as seen in the North Pole. Now, if Aang had actually trained and didn't daydream, he would have easily surpassed Katara in skill and power. Her actions have consequences, accidental consequences, but consequences, nonetheless. I think Katara would easily be envious, briefly, that Zuko had his mother back—because Katara has always wanted her mother back more than anything.

And Sozin died at age 153 based on the clues in the show, which I trust more than the rectons the creators did outside of the show. It's similar to their poor decision to retcon Kuruk's age after explicitly stating in the show that Koh was almost killed by him 900 years before Aang visited him. Sozin was born on the same day as Roku (likely the same year, too, making him and Roku the same age based on their similar youthful appearances), so he's born in 82 BG (Before Genocide), and in the Zuko Alone episode, it's revealed that Azulon only ruled for 23 years before Ursa assassinated him in 94 AG (After Genocide). 94-23 = 71. And 71+82 = 153. So, Sozin was 153 years old when he died, and I find it likely that he died of loneliness more than sickness or anything because, truly, it seems that Sozin regretted what he did at his death. The quote shows as much: "As I feel my own life dimming, I can't help but remember a time when everything seemed so much brighter."

I hope you all enjoyed this one. Please, leave a review and tell me what you think. I'd appreciate it. Until next time, everyone.

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