Months had gone by since Harry and Severus were bonded as a married couple. Lucius did send in the certificate, and the ministry hadn't yet done anything but Harry and Severus were both expecting something soon. School picked up on September 1st as it did every year and the only changes were that Albus brought aboard the old potions teacher, Professor Horace Slughorn, and moved Severus to the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. Severus and Harry kept to their discussion about letting nobody know of their union.
During the day, Harry and Severus went on like always, no one suspecting a thing. More so because Severus had their rings hidden under a strong glamour charm. Severus showed Harry where his chambers were and how to access them, telling the teen that if he came by for sex that it better be with his invisibility cloak on and never after curfew unless it was on the weekends. However, all the times Harry tried, Severus had refused him under the excuse he was too busy.
Ever since the wedding night, Harry and Severus had not really spoken except for when Harry asked questions about things for his summer work, which Severus would answer calmly. The two kept to their separate rooms in the house and endured wordless meals. Truthfully, it was starting to aggravate Harry. Sure, he knew that they were only married to keep him from going to the Dursley's, but why would Severus offer something and never let Harry act on it? Not to mention, they had a huge fight a month ago.
/Flashback; 11/20/1995/
It was a chilly November night and Harry was bored and horny. His friends were all doing their work, but he finished. Harry decided to go see Severus, maybe they could have some fun together. Harry hid under his cloak and reached Severus's room, he spoke the password after passing the wards and walked through the door.
"Can I help you, Potter?" Severus asked.
"I'm bored…" Harry stated as he pulled off the cloak and laid it over the hook by the door. "What are you doing?"
"Grading," Severus informed.
"Why don't you take a break?" Harry smiled, going behind Severus, who was at his desk, and began rubbing his shoulders.
Severus shrugged him off. "Not tonight, Potter. I have too much to do. Don't you have homework?"
"Did it already." Harry said. "Come on…Just like…Twenty minutes?"
"Harry, I said no. I'm busy and not in the mood." Severus sighed.
Harry groaned, folding his arms with an eye roll. "You're never in the mood, and always busy…" He muttered.
"I am a teacher with more than just one class, Potter." Severus scoffed. "Go back to the common room."
"I don't want to leave…Everyone's still doing their work and I'm bored…" Harry whined.
"Then go entertain yourself." Severus informed.
"Ugh…You're such a liar." Harry huffed.
"Excuse me?" Severus finally looked over at Harry.
"Need me to say it slower? You are a liar." Harry repeated. "You told me at the beginning of the year, I could come here any time for fun or with sexual urges. But every time I come, you're always busy and never in the mood. Don't offer something you don't intend to give." He remarked.
"Are you getting mad that I won't have sex with you? Harry, I told you…I am your-," Severus started.
"I KNOW!" Harry yelled at him. "I am your student, good Merlin, you never let me forget it…But you know what else you are, Severus…My husband!" He reminded. Severus stared at him, surprised at the anger. "You told me I could come to you with my problems, and all you do is dismiss me. Just like you did last year, and then there's being an ass in class…" Harry commented.
"If you have a problem, speak up." Severus told him firmly.
"My problem is that my husband won't touch me! He won't speak to me. My husband avoids my presence…Can ya help me with that, Professor? Can you talk to my husband for me, get him to see that I have urges that can't always be satiated by a hand?" Harry revealed. "I understand that you do not want to see me and resent me for trapping you in this marriage, but is it really that bad? Did I break your trust or something the night we consummated things. You've said barely anything to me unless you had to talk to me."
"No, the wedding night was fine…But Harry, I have responsibilities as a teacher. I can't just ignore my work to have sex with you, which we shouldn't even be doing on school grounds. If anyone finds out…" Severus tried.
"Screw everyone else!" Harry glared. "Let them find out, I don't care anymore. What can they do, Sev? They can't break the bond. Albus won't fire you because you're his spy and you work here as part of your cover that Voldemort thinks you're spying on Dumbledore…" Harry told him. "What are you so afraid of? I'm not asking you to give up your work, just take a fifteen minute break…Come relax with me. You'd be less stressed out and I'd be far less horny…But obviously that's too much to ask."
"Merlin, Potter…You've clearly blinded yourself with this arrangement. Or have you forgotten that this was just to emancipate you from needing a guardian as an underage wizard? This only happened to keep from your muggle relatives, and godfather." Severus scoffed. "THIS ISN'T REAL!" Harry flinched back. "This is not real. It's just a farce that you've illuded yourself into believing. Where do you get off thinking I have to take care of your needs when I don't care about you. You're my student and a member of my house…That is all. This husband nonsense needs to stop! It's my life on the line if we get caught. Not just by teachers, but the dark lord too. Say what you want, but you can't protect me from him…I don't care how good you think you are."
"This mark ties me to him…This was a foolish idea that I never should have considered. You're just a child, and I'm not leaving my fate to you. No one can remove the dark mark, those of us who wanted to deflect from the dark side have tried. Only the dark lord can remove it, or it leaves when he dies. You've gotten lucky, but I don't hold faith that you alone can stop him when some of us are far more experienced and can't. Stop pretending like this is a happy union, Potter…It's not. I hate it. I hate it as much as I hate your father, Black, Pettigrew, and that damn wolf. I will never see you as anything more than my enemy's son and godson." Severus glared.
"You mean nothing to me. Stop using the marriage as an excuse to get what you want. It means nothing because it's not real. I'm only in this to clear that debt…The second you turn seventeen, we're ending this so I never have to be bothered by your presence again you insufferable brat…Now…Get out."
Harry was floored by Severus's words; he knew the man was angry about the union, but to say all that? It left Harry feeling like he'd been stabbed in the heart and couldn't catch his breath; the wind knocked out of him. Harry mustered all the courage he could as he put on a brave face and grabbed his cloak, swinging it around his shoulders.
"Fine…" Harry said. "I'm sorry for bothering you, Professor Snape…" His voice had a sad tone to it. "It won't happen again. I'll see you in class." Without another word, Harry opened the door and walked out, nearly slamming it behind him.
/End Flashback/
It was now December 21st as students were leaving to go home for the holidays and honestly, Harry didn't want to go home with Severus to sit in silence with the man. Harry was grateful that Severus didn't see him as James Potter, but to know Severus hated him seemed to have an effect. Harry knew he had a lot of friends, none closer than Draco, Pansy, Blaise, Theodore, Vincent, and Gregory, of course.
Harry had forgiven everyone who turned their back on him in fourth year, but the people he'd been closest to like Ron and Hermione, even Dean and Seamus, had a lot of work to do in earning his trust back. Harry had never been angry at Luna Lovegood, nor Neville Longbottom. Harry knew Neville was a shy boy who didn't like confrontation, but he'd told Harry how sorry he was for not standing up for him in fourth year. Harry told him not to worry about it and the two were pretty good friends.
The same went for Luna. Harry was unsure about Ginny, she hadn't given him trouble but didn't support him either. Now, she was trying to get close to him by suggesting they hang out or study together. She even invited him to sit with her at the Gryffindor table, but Harry always declined and said he'd sit with his house. Harry had also never been mad at Fred or George Weasley; they had always supported him in their own way.
Still, despite all that; Harry felt miserable like he had in fourth year. And he didn't know what to do about it; he also didn't tell anyone anything. Right now, Harry was getting ready to enter a carriage with his friends as breakfast was over and students going home for the holidays were heading to Hogsmead for the 11 am train to King's Cross. Harry was about to hop into the carriage when Severus walked over.
"Potter. I'll pick you up from King's Cross," Severus told Harry. "Meet me at the apparition point when you arrive."
"Yes, sir…" Harry replied.
Severus almost asked if Harry was alright because he didn't seem it. Severus had noticed it ever since their argument; Harry always looked like he did in fourth year, depressed. Harry stopped trying to come to his room, never spoke in class unless asked something directly. However, the boy did keep up on his class and homework; his grades were stellar. Harry right now was just sitting in the carriage and had pulled a book to read, but Severus couldn't catch the title. Severus knew something had to be wrong, but Harry didn't seem like he wanted to talk about it to anyone. Had his friends taken notice too?
"Harry!" Pansy called to him.
"Hey, guys and girl," Harry greeted. "Saved your seats."
"Thanks," Blaise smiled.
Severus decided to walk away, but he was talking to Harry over the holiday break. Severus had a nauseatingly bad feeling about Harry's recent change in overall behavior, this on top of having to deal with the dark lord, who thankfully still knew nothing about the union. The dark lord didn't even know Harry was in Slytherin, what an interesting conversation that would be. The dark lord's current goals were destroying Dumbledore, but no plan for how that would happen was made yet.
"Is everything okay, Harry?" Draco suddenly asked. Severus did hear the question and somewhat listened in.
"It's as it should be, Dray…" Harry replied. "Don't worry," He gave a soft smile.
"You'd tell me if something was wrong, right?" Draco inquired.
"Duh, you're my best friend…" Harry retorted playfully. "I'm just tired."
"You should probably nap on the train; you were moving around a lot last night. Having trouble sleeping again?" Draco wondered. Harry nodded to him. "I figured. You should talk to Uncle Sev about using a sleeping draught. Peaceful or Dreamless should help."
"Yeah…I'll bring it up to him." Harry responded.
Severus hadn't been able to sleep much either. Ever since that fight with Harry; there had been this overwhelming feeling to make sure he was okay. Like a pull, or a shove towards the teenager. And Severus was always feeling an array of emotions; he didn't know what it was about though. Maybe he'd consult with Lucius and Narcissa, as they'd likely be seeing one another over the holiday. Severus moved along his path, standing with other teachers until the carriages left to take students to Hogsmeade.
. . .
As told, Harry met Severus at the apparition point outside King's Cross around 7:30 pm after getting his things and the two returned to Spinner's End after Severus shrunk down Harry's things. Once at the house, Harry went right to his room once Severus told him when dinner would be, all but answering with the yes sir again. It was now 8:30 pm as Severus had indeed gotten the invite from Narcissa to come over with Harry for dinner, so Severus had instructed his elf not to finish the meal and set it aside for tomorrow's lunch or dinner.
"Harry!" Severus called. No answer from the boy. "Harry! We're going to the Malfoy's for dinner!" He tried again. Still nothing. Severus made his way up the stairs and to Harry's door, knocking on it lightly. "Harry?" Severus asked. No answer again. Severus turned the handle and peeked into the room to find Harry fast asleep on his bed, still in his clothes from riding the train from Hogwarts. Severus walked in fully and stood before the bed, slightly shaking Harry until he woke.
Harry groaned and finally opened his eyes to see Severus standing there. "Did I fall asleep?" Harry asked.
"Apparently so." Severus replied. "Get ready to leave," He added.
"Where are we going?" Harry questioned.
"The Malfoy's. We've been invited to dinner with them," Severus stated. "I'll wait for you downstairs."
Harry laid back down, closing his eyes. "I'm not going…"
"What do you mean you're not going?" Severus asked.
"I'm not going. How much more clear would you like me to be, sir." Harry told him again.
"It's dinner. Now, get up…You're not skipping out on supper because you're tired. You had all that time on the train ride to sleep." Severus ordered.
"And I slept most of the ride, Professor…Just ask Draco." Severus stared at Harry. He'd slept most of the ride and was still tired? "I'm exhausted and I'm not even hungry…So just go without me. I'll be fine here." He stated.
"Are you alright?" Severus inquired.
"What?" Harry looked at him.
"Are you alright?" The potions master repeated. "Don't make me have to ask again, Potter…You're tired, and not hungry. That can usually point to becoming ill."
"I don't know…Maybe I am. Right now, I just want to sleep…" Harry closed his eyes again.
"Very well," Severus reached a hand forward to check if Harry had a fever, but he didn't. "I will go alone, but I expect you to inform me if you feel worse while I'm gone. Is that clear?" Harry nodded. "Good. Just use the floo downstairs to contact me at the Malfoy's."
"Yes, sir…" Harry mumbled tiredly.
Severus turned off the light as he exited the room, and closed the door before going back downstairs. Severus grabbed a few things and then got in the fireplace to head to the Malfoy's.
. . .
Narcissa, Lucius and Draco were all sitting in their main room with dinner set up where they were and Severus walked through.
"Severus, there you are." Lucius greeted.
"Hello, Har-," Narcissa noticed Severus was there alone. "No Harry? Is he staying with Remus tonight?"
"No, he's home," Severus informed.
"He didn't want to come?" Draco frowned. "Or is he still feeling sick?"
"He's sick?" Severus asked his godson.
"My friends and I think so…Didn't he tell you when you picked him up?" Draco questioned.
"No, he just went to his room and I didn't see him again until I was going in there to wake him to come here. He told me he wasn't going to come due to feeling tired and not being hungry, so I left him there to sleep and said to contact me here if he felt worse later and I wasn't back yet. No fever or any other symptoms." Severus explained. "What do you know of it?"
"Harry slept basically the whole ride from Hogwarts, Uncle Sev…" Draco said softly. "We barely got out of Hogsmeade station before he was knocked out against the window. Blaise covered him up and Pansy grabbed her sweater to roll up and put it under his head as a pillow."
He informed. "The times Harry did wake up were because he felt nauseous and threw up a couple times. Theo had gone to check on him when he was gone for longer than ten minutes, and came back to tell us he heard Harry puking. Harry would come back to the compartment and just fall asleep again."
"Poor boy…" Narcissa said. "Severus, you should have stayed home with him if he's sick."
"He told me he didn't know if he was or wasn't. He never told me anything about being sick on the train…" Severus mumbled.
"I suppose then you don't know he hasn't been sleeping either." Draco sighed. Severus shook his head.
"How long has this been a problem?" Severus asked.
"Weeks now. Most nights, Harry puts up a silencing charm around his bed so he doesn't wake us up with all his tossing and turning, but we know better. He gets up in the morning looking like he didn't sleep at all. We've summarized that maybe he's dealing with visions from the dark lord again, or nightmares about something. I just told him tonight he should ask you for one of your sleeping draughts." Draco remarked. "Not only that…He just doesn't seem alright."
"Explain?" Severus urged his godson.
"You can't tell me you don't see it, Uncle Severus…" Draco eyed his godfather.
"I've noticed, so have other teachers," Severus stated. "Minerva said just tonight before I left after a staff meeting that Potter has gone quiet again. Like in fourth year."
"Yeah, that's what I mean by he doesn't seem alright." Draco sighed. "My friends and I haven't pushed him in case he's in a delicate state, but we've all seen it. He's quiet, doesn't eat or sleep much…He always looks like he's in deep thought. We're worried he's slipped back into that severe depression again, we just don't know what caused it…"
"I'll speak to him tonight." Severus assured.
"Severus, did I hear correctly that you said Harry was in his own room at your house?" Lucius questioned.
"The room I gave him when he came to live with me before we got married." Severus nodded.
"Why wouldn't you share a bed if married?" Draco asked.
"We only shared a bed once to consummate the bond, but Harry went back to his own room afterwards." Severus mentioned.
"Wait…" Draco stared. "Harry's never stayed in bed with you, sleeping? Or even sex again? Not at school?"
"No, just the once a couple months back." Severus confirmed.
"Then…" Draco paused.
"What?" Narcissa questioned her son.
"Well, now I'm wondering where the heck Harry goes all night if he's not spending it with Severus…" Draco shrugged.
"What do you mean?" Lucius pushed.
"We know when Harry goes out to Uncle Sev's room. He always takes his cloak and those are the nights he doesn't come back until morning. Hell, not even then sometimes. We assumed he was spending the night after you two…Well, you know…But if he's not spending the night with you, I'm wondering where he goes." Draco stated.
"Then I'll be asking him about that tonight too…" Severus made a mental note.
"For now, let's just eat," Narcissa suggested.
The four agreed and once Severus had a plate brought to him by the house elf, they began to eat. All the while, Severus wondered how so much was going on that he didn't know about. Harry being sick on the train? His friends taking obvious note of Harry's depression. Now this? Harry not going back to the common room on the nights Severus had told Harry no? Severus didn't know, but he was going to get to the bottom of why Harry wasn't telling him things.