Prompt:
There's no way I'm gonna go down this road again
It cuts to the bone can I let it win
It's our call to return from where we came
Because life could be so good if we open our hearts
-"We Are The Gods" by Fort Hope
Walking into his quarters, he headed for the closest chair and collapsed into it. Leaning his head back, he closed his eyes. It was happening again, he couldn't deny that. He was allowing himself to fall for Mariah. Not that falling for her was that hard. She was cute, bright, and had a great sense of humor. She cared about people, even if she wasn't going to take any crap from anybody.
Yeah, he could definitely do worse.
However, he couldn't allow himself to go down that road again.
He had opened himself to love once before. He had made himself vulnerable. Made himself reliant on someone else's well being for his own happiness. He would have given anything for Meg, including his own life.
When the time came though, he didn't even have the chance to make that choice. When she had needed him the most, he hadn't been there. He could never forgive himself for that and he refused to take that chance again.
Voyager was on a frontier, much like he and Meg had been. Dangers lurked everywhere around them and they were out here alone. He couldn't guarantee his own safety, let alone someone else's. Yeah, Mariah could hold her own in most situations, but life held no guarantees. They had already seen how dangerous the Delta Quadrant could be.
No, the possibility of losing her, just like Meg, was too great. He couldn't put himself in that situation again. He wasn't going to open his heart just to have it crushed again. Losing friends was bad enough. He couldn't risk losing someone that he shared so much with.