WELCOME BACK TO ONE OF THE BEST FAN FICTIONS YOU EVER READ, THE BATTLE CATS: X! HERE WE HAVE THE KICK-ASS TWENTY NINTH EDITION OF THE STORY. IT IS ALSO MARKS THE END OF THE SIXTH ARC OF THE STORY, THE SUPER REGISTER ARC. NOW LAY BACK AND ENJOY WHAT I HAVE TO OFFER!
It is a pretty cold day over in Denmark. The Battle Act members are out in the open, playing on the thin layers of snow. It is not freezing, as it is nearly February, and Denmark is surrounded by water, so achieving ice cold temperatures is a hard task. It is currently 35F (or 1.7C), and frost is forming all around The Cat Base. Cat comes outside and wipes away from frost early in the morning, Bob eventually comes downstairs, mainly because the commotion woke him up. All the other Cats are still asleep in The Cat Base.
Bob: Cat, what the actual fuck are you doing up so early? he rubs his eyes as he stretches in the cold weather
Cat: he shrieks as he looks at Bob Oh hey Bob! I didn't see you there. I'm just wiping out the windows just in case enemies come by. Because we are facing a boss after all, and it's an unknown one.
Bob: Entendo. (I get it) So, shall we wake up the others? Or are they going to wake up eventually.
Cat: I'm guessing I woke you up, didn't I? That's basically the case with everyone else, usually one's commotion alone is enough to cause the other to wake up. You can consider us all to have hyper-acusis. he giggles before resuming his wiping process My fur is getting all wet... he mumbles as he continues using his arm to wipe the windows
Eventually, Tank Cat comes down to join them. He had just woken up and saw the both of them outside. He looks at them both and smiles. He is drinking some water from a glass.
Tank Cat: Hey guys! What are you two doing up so early? he glances at them in confusion
Cat: I'm clearing the frost from the Cat Base. It'll definitely prevent the Cats from waking up when it's all over the window.
Bob: And he woke me up as I was sleeping. So I just had to come down and see what's up.
Tank Cat: Oh, well that actually explains why a random burst of brightness hit me and Axe Cat. he looks behind him Speaking of... look who's here!
Axe Cat: Yeah, yeah. You really felt the need to wake me up. Didn't you? he rubs his eyes as he looks at them in utter disappointment
Bob: I'm going to do some squats while I prepare for this boss guy. Alright I guess I'll leave you three to your job.
Axe Cat: I'm not helping him with his cleaning duty! He indirectly woke me up. he flicks his axe in the air as he rubs it
Bob: Como quiser. (Suit yourself) he walks away and prepares to exercise
Eventually, the entire Battle Act wakes up from their slumber. Gross Cat goes outside and stares at the windows. Cow Cat is running outside to warm himself up. Bird Cat is resting against the table indoors. Fish Cat is eating a lot of the fruit at the breakfast bar. Lizard Cat is sleepily walking outside. Titan Cat is making some coffee and drinks it. Bean Cats bounce outside and causes the small ice pieces to bounce on the ground.
Lizard Cat: he mutters something barely audible I...want...sleep.he falls on the grass and begins dosing off
Bird Cat: Somebody acquire Lizard Cat before he obtains frostbite from the ground. he is reading a book all about The Little Mermaid, not the story itself, but the mythology behind it
Fish Cat: Titan Cat! We ran out of fruit. I ate the last pear we had. he shakes the bowl to prove it's empty
Titan Cat: Huh!? he whacks Fish Cat in the back of the head YOU IDIOT! You ate it all...no wonder there's none left!
Fish Cat: he yelps as he rubs his the back of head Okay, I'm sorry. Please stop hitting me.
Gross Cat: Ah, Titan Cat! I just wanted to say, we could afford more fruit if we were to spend some of that Cat Food! Just saying...
Titan Cat: Tell me this...if we were to spend all the Cat Food we had on fruit, where the hell would we be at? ON THE STREETS!
Cow Cat: he comes rushing into the Cat Base Phew...someone try running from the enemy base and back! It is not easy... especially in this weather.
Bird Cat: Certainly... you could say that again. he closes his book as he looks at him
Bean Cat L: COME ON OUTSIDE! This snow is top of the range stuff.
Bean Cat R: Yeah...who doesn't love all this snow outside.
Tank Cat: Well, it's not exactly snow...it's more of less ice. But that does look fun to jump on! he stares at the massive pile of snow in awe
Bean Cats proceed to resume their jumping process all around the grass. Getting their bean pod all stained from the impacts of the frost. They both seem to be enjoying it. As if they're getting nostalgia or childlike joy.
Bob: What in the actual fuck is going on over there? he stares in confusion as he mops his forehead for sweat That actually looks pretty fun. My squatting experience waspretty shit.
Cat: he looks up at Bob Ah, I guess the jumping does look amusing. But I'm afraid I'm left to deal with all of this frost on the wall.
Tank Cat: Say, are we all going out and take on these enemies now? I'm really looking forward to kicking some ass like a professional. he giggles as he gets up from the ground and glances at everyone
Titan Cat: I suppose it's about time we all get moving. The enemies aren't going to kick their own asses. he walks outside Come on everyone, we have a lot of work to do.
Lizard Cat: he barely wakes up GAH! I had a fucking nightmare, oh shit my head. he rubs it before he looks at everyone staring at him Why are we all outside?
Cat: You fell asleep, my friend. he smirks as he nudges Lizard Cat Come on, let's get some Folktale treasures!
Lizard Cat: I KNOW THAT! I just want to know why we're outside is all.
The Battle Act all make their way over to the Enemy Base and they give it a good observation. It is a stereotypical Danish base based off of none other than The Little Mermaid! Which is a statue depicting a mermaid becoming a mermaid. It is based off of the 1837 Danish fairytale of the same name. It has the mermaid on top of a rock made out of wood. The WHOLE thing is made entirely out of wood, which is highly impressive once you think about it.
Gross Cat: Well, look at that! A mermaid, I wonder why Denmark loves them so much.
Cow Cat: It's simple really. The fairytale! And of course everything that comes after it based on said story. he cackles as he admires the base These enemies sure are taking their time to come out.
Axe Cat: Eh, give them time! Eventually, they'll all come out and we can BASH them on the spot.
Speaking of the enemies, here they are in the enemy base, minding their own business, and tending to their personal manners. Doge is sleeping on a couch, Snache is painting himself with his water colors, Those Guys are all playing tag with one another, and Croco is chugging on a soda can. Soon enough, the boss comes by and checks on everyone.
??'????: Hey, what do we have going on over here? he looks at everyone in confusion
That Guy C: Oh, hey Le'Boin! We were all playing tag here. Do you want to join us or something?
Le'Boin: Oh, as much as I would love to. I have some...errands to run! he is stammering like crazy
That Guy A: More important than TAG? he pouts as he shakes Le'Boin like crazy
Le'Boin: Oui. More important than...tag. he grumbles as he slams his trunk onto Doge to wake him up DOGE! WAKE UP!
Doge: he stammers as he is woken up Ugh...my head. What the fuck was that for, Le'Boin?
Le'Boin: It is a call to wake you up, you silly little pup. Now go and get ready to take on L'Act de Battle! he shoves him out of the room Oh, where are Snache and Croco? They are going to miss valuable battle time! he shouts out loud SNACHE, CROCO, GET YOUR ASSES OUT HERE RIGHT NOW!
Croco: Hey, chill out, old guy. I was finishing off my last soda, he shakes the empty can before throwing it at him Don't worry, I'll get Snache for you. he rushes into the room Snache is in and carries him out
Le'Boin: Ah Croco, you're such a good friend. But I'm going to go and finish my...errands!
Le'Boin climbs upstairs and takes out a secret stash of Playboy Magazines! He begins to read through his most recent edition and giggles away bashfully as he sees his preferred type of female, "curvy, very curvy" - Le'Boin. But he is only reading it, as this is a T rated story, not an M rated one. But if it were an M rated story, you could probably guess what he'd be up to. (Especially his 2012 Battle Cats counterpart!)
Le'Boin: Ooh, haha. What sexy models! he giggles away frantically, before Doge barges in
Doge: LE'BOIN- wait... are you reading...PLAYBOY MAGAZINES!?
Le'Boin: No? he covers the title card with his trunk Why would I partake in such horrendous nonsense. I won't allow anybody in the world to look at curvy...very curvy...women! he throws away his magazine and kicks the box away I was reading an action comic book.
Doge: he is traumatized, but his mood switches when he hears "comic" You collect comics? Sweet! his tail wags I want t- gets interrupted by Le'Boin, who shoves him away
Le'Boin: No, nobody is reading my stuff. Let's go and take on these enemies now.
Le'Boin and Doge eventually make their way out and joins Snache, Those Guys, and Croco outside. Everyone is looking at The Battle Act with excitement and anticipation.
Bob: Woah...he stares at Le'Boin HE'S HUGE! he flicks his toothpick as he stares in awe
Le'Boin is your average white cartoonish elephant. He is extremely large in size, almost twice as tall as the likes of Bob, yet more than three times the width! He has two small tusks, one really long trunk, two gigantic ears, and a tiny tail. He has wrinkles all over his trunk, and has a body similar to that of Hippoe, only larger. He also is quite the perverted lover boy. But he prefers to keep it all private.
Le'Boin: Ah, so you see my gigantic build, huh? he chuckles loudly I suppose it is only reasonable that I have my fair share of admirers.I never met you before, human, would you like me to introduce myself to you?
Cow Cat: Oh dear God it's Le'Boin... he begins to shake in fear of his massive trunk
Bob: Why not? Go on and tell me about yourself, giant French elephant.
Le'Boin: With pleasure! My name is Le'Boin, I am the long ranged attacker of The Authorial Association. My range is able to outrange almost everybody, while it being on par with Lizard Cat. Nobody can out range my powerful, AREA attacks! I like having these guys protect me from harm. But I have high enough durability. I am really powerful and not a force to be messed with. he smirks as he looks down on Bob I like your demeanor, but I'm afraid I am going to kill you for being a threat.
Cat: he whispers in Bob's ear He's also a big pervert who loves reading Playboy magazines. And his attacks are slow, because of how heavy his trunk is.
Le'Boin: I heard that! None of them are true. he begins to fluster as he growls
Bob: he is highly concerned WHAT!? Aren't they like...you know...
Le'Boin: Yes, but I do not read those kinds of magazines. BUT HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT I DO? he stares at Cat in confusion
Cat: We were spying on you for years now. Just in case you'd attack us. And we saw some things which we'd never like to see again.
Doge: So it WAS Playboy magazines after all! You are a crazy individual.
Bird Cat: Oh my... he gasps as he begins to fluster up with the reference to the magazine
Snache: Woah, Le'Boin, you dawg! he smirks as he nudges him
Suddenly, everyone is talking about either Le'Boin, Playboy magazines, or both. He can't handle the pressure anymore and trumpets out loud, enough for the entirety of Denmark to hear! He is red, both from anger, and flustering. He yells out and grabs everyone's attention.
Le'Boin: ENOUGH! he slams his feet to the ground I said it many times, and I'll say it once more. I DO NOT READ RISQUE MAGAZINES! he huffs loudly Human, please defend me here against these people by switching the subject.
Bob: he's lost for words after everything he heard Uhh...yeah, yeah, sure. I'll tell you about myself. he clears his throat My name is Roberto Mourinho Jablovskyy. But everyone calls me Bob. It is more of a mainstream sort of name, you know? I'm 16 years old. And I don't come from here, I'm from Portugal. Over in Lisbon, just over four weeks ago, my mother sent me on a boat to a disciplinary camp in North Korea for my aggressive behavior. But the boat ended up in the wrong currents and I landed in South Korea where I met The Battle Act. I guess that's all you need to know about me. he uncomfortably puts his hand out for a handshake, which Le'Boin uses his trunk to shake
Axe Cat: That was single handedly the most awkward thing I ever heard since...ever!
Gross Cat: You could say that again... he shudders in embarrassment
That Guy C: Are we all going to fight now or what? he scratches his head as he looks at everyone in confusion
Bob: his demeanor goes back to normal Oh holy hell yes! Vamos chutar alguns traseiros! (Let's kick some ass!)
The Battle Begins! Bob charges right into Le'Boin in hopes of attacking him. Le'Boin uses his long range to his advantage and begins to whack his trunk against Bob. Causing him to bruise up against Le'Boin in the dirt. But Bob grabs the trunk and pulls it off him. He then charges right into Le'Boin and sends a blow right into his left tusk, causing the skin outside it to bleed out and cover the tusk.
Le'Boin: Ah, my tusk! You little cunt. I'll get you for that. he charges right after Bob and tries to slam his trunk onto him
Bob: Hah, we'll see about that, bitch. he charges into him and jumps right onto his trunk
Le'Boin: AGH! he rubs his trunk against the floor in pain I still have my boss wave ready to use whenever I feel like it. he smirks as he rubs his tusks with it
Bean Cat R: Wait...did he say...HIS BOSS WAVE!? he gulps in fear
Bean Cat L: Trust me, we can make through this powerful slam! And The Special Forces are going to be here at any moment. Trust the process, dear Pod shareholder, trust the process!
Croco: Oh yeah, Le'Boin! Use that boss wave like a boss. Quite literally, if I'm being honest. he cackles as he looks at him with eagerness
Le'Boin: Alright then, HERE COMES THE BOSS WAVE! Right in your face...
He slams down his trunk with a lot of force, and The Battle Act go flying! They all land behind The Cat Base, leaving it completely vulnerable to any potential attacks from enemies. Croco, being the fastest out of the enemies present, rushes right towards The Cat Base and attempts to get in. But Cow Cat actually came by fast enough to prevent him from doing such a thing!
Cow Cat: Oh, no you don't! Not on my protocol. he smirks as he kicks Croco How about you stay behind and leave the masters of the craft of combat to handle it!?
Croco: God damn it! Le'Boin, the Cow managed to outrun me.
Cow Cat: Well, actually, we have a Smart Material Wall! Which grants extra protection for the Cat Base. he touches the Cat Base, but he ends up touching a holographic exterior instead
That Guy A: Woah...that sure looks like one mean wall! he grins as he checks it out and attempts to touch it
Axe Cat: I'm sorry, but I'm not letting you touch that. he smirks as he grabs That Guy A's wrist and begins to crush it
That Guy A: OW! My wrist, it hurts so bad... please stop... he pouts as he rubs his sore wrist
Axe Cat: Yeah...stay down, you idiot. he kicks That Guy A to the floor, he glares at Croco, who backs away
Bob: I still have unfinished business with Le'Boin! he cracks his knuckles as he begins to approach him
Tank Cat: Good luck out there Bob! You'll need it. He is really durable, and his range is not something to take for granted.
Meanwhile, Croco is taking on Cat, Gross Cat, and Fish Cat. Croco tries to pounce right onto Fish Cat and bite into his scales, to which he succeeds and causes his back to begin spewing out blood. Gross Cat helps out by slapping Croco off Fish Cat, this causes him to get scratched in the face and fall off. Cat adds final touches by pouncing on him and biting into his tail, this causes for a bite mark to begin forming, and he starts to bleed.
Fish Cat: Agh, that little bastard bit some of my scales into remains! Now I have to spend at least five hours in the water if I want at least one of them to grow back.
Cat: Well, at least it makes you look pretty cool. he giggles as he continues to bite into Croco
Fish Cat: Hey, thanks Cat! he grins and shows off his sharp talons I am quite a badass. Isn't that right, Gross Cat?
Gross Cat: I guess you are a badass in some cases. But that scar looks straight up ridiculous. Cat is too short so he can't even see what he's looking at.
Cat: he pouts Hey! I'm not short. I'm just not genetically mutated like everyone else to be tall. Me, Axe Cat, Bird and Lizard Cat are all great at fighting! And we're barely a foot tall.
Croco: Hahah...shorty! he puts his claw on Cat and pushes, teasing his height
Cat: You're literally reaching up to pet me...he stares at him in cockiness
Croco: Oh yeah, are you going to pull that game? he stands up on his hind legs, and puts his head up, making him at least...1'3 HOW ABOUT THIS!?
Cat: Oh yeah? Well... he tries to do the same, but his perfectly spherical body is the same height no matter what angle he's at OH FOR FUCK SAKE...
Gross Cat and Fish Cat are all cackling away at the two shorties in front of them. The two of them begin mumbling in embarrassment. Croco even thumping his tail against the ground.
Croco: Hey! I may be short in height, but oh damn, I can put up a fight. You mother fucking spastics. he snarls as he begins crawling towards them
Gross Cat: Oh shit, I think I pissed off little baby! He is going to throw a temper tantrum on me now.
Fish Cat: He's not a baby, he's wa- his mouth gets covered by Gross Cat MHH MGGH MMM!
Gross Cat: What my buddy Fish Cat is trying to say, is that you're not a baby, you're a wailing fetus!
Fish Cat: he cackles as he breaks free from Gross Cat It's true, you do look like one.
Cat: Ooh, someone get the after sun, you just got burned.
Croco: he begins crying I'm a cold blooded reptile. I can't even burn in the sun! he runs off wailing
Gross Cat: You know, for an enemy who loves insulting people and having a big mouth in general, he sure can cry loud the second he receives some insults back.
Cat: There's no way he's a crybaby, he was able to withstand plenty of insults the last time we mocked him. Something is definitely going on here...
Fish Cat: Maybe the topic of fetuses is a sensitive topic for him? Maybe his wife or girlfriend lost a baby.
Croco: he yells out Just so you know, I don't even have a girlfriend, let alone be on the path of fatherhood..
Gross Cat: Sheesh, someone...deal with him! Before he starts to get really angry and get the strength to solo all three of us.
Over somewhere else, Snache is going up against Axe Cat, Cow Cat, and Lizard Cat. Cow Cat prepares the first attack by charging right into Snache and bashing him in the head. This causes him to get horn marks all over his head and bleed out. Axe Cat charges right into him and bashes his head with his axe. Causing his head to bruise up severely. And Lizard Cat fires an ember right into Snache's tail, this causes it to burn up.
Lizard Cat: Hah, how do you like that? he smirks as he watches Snache try and take out the flame
Snache: Ugh, you're not funny... he grumbles as he thumps his tail across the ground
Cow Cat: You're right, he is never funny. he cackles as he nudges Lizard Cat
Lizard Cat: Watch it, dumbass. Because I'll torch the snake, and I will not hold back against the idea of torching YOU.
Cow Cat: Okay, I'm sorry man, sheesh. he rolls his eyes as he kicks away a stone
Axe Cat: Uhh...Snache is getting reinforcements!
Snache is carrying a teary eyed Croco and plops him down onto the floor. He smirks as he sees Croco in the condition he is in. The Cats are all confused at Croco's bad mood.
Lizard Cat: Woah, what the hell happened to Croco? he stares at him in utter disbelief
Croco: he is stuttering It's n-nothing you d-d-dumbass! he is staring at everyone
Snache: He gets sensitive whenever he is called a baby because of his size. He seems to have been called that, apparently.
Croco: he mutters in anger Can you stroke my head and tell me "Everything's fine..."? I'd appreciate it, he sniffs
Snache: What's this? A Senior Tier member asking comfort from a Junior Tier member? Well, that's definitely something. he sighs in amusement Alright then... he strokes Croco in the head with his tail Everything's fine... you're okay... you can trust me on that.
Cow Cat: Okay, who here believes the weird is getting weirder?
Axe Cat and Lizard Cat simultaneously: AYE! they raise their paws
Cat: he came rushing over alongside Gross Cat and Fish Cat Where did Croco go?
Fish Cat: Ah, there he is! He's...getting head rubs by Snache!? Okay, things are definitely getting weird and I don't like it at all...
Gross Cat: Should we intervene? Or should we just leave it happen?
Croco: No, I'm going to get my revenge on you three for insulting my face! he growls as he rushes after them
Fish Cat bites deep into Croco, and crushes his spine, he spits him out on the floor. He remains on the floor unconscious, Fish Cat just smirks away at the sight of Croco on the floor.
Snache: Well...that just happened. he is just disturbed by the scene
Lizard Cat: And you're next, my friend. he smirks as he begins to chase after Snache, he runs away in pure trauma and fear
Elsewhere, Tank Cat, Bird Cat, and Titan Cat are all after Doge. The three of them are preparing to attack Doge as we speak. He attempts to run away but bumps into Cat.
Tank Cat: Get back here Doge! We are going to do some kick ass combat together. You will not regret it...come back here.
Doge: Huh? What the fuck? he turns to see Cat Oh, hey Cat.
Cat: Oh, hey there Doge. he stares at him how the hell did you get here?
Doge: Running away from Tank Cat, Bird Cat and Ti- gets interrupted as Titan Cat grabs him
Titan Cat: he holds him up close to his face Ah, look at that, we got him guys. The only question is: "How the fuck shall we beat the shit out of him?"
Tank Cat: How about we hit him with a few punches! he beams excitedly as he looks at Doge Sorry...this may hurt.
Titan Cat: Not bad of a suggestion, Tank Cat. he smirks Why don't we beat the shit out of him with our fists?
Bird Cat: I don't have fists, therefore, it leads up to my question: How may I deliver a decent punch to our rival Doge? Shall I swipe him with my wings? he seems confused on how to defeat Doge
Titan Cat: How about you pounce on Doge? It seems to be your best attack move. he smirks as he cracks his knuckles
Tank Cat: Are you ready Doge? This is going to be so fun!
Doge: No...AND FOR YOU IT WILL BE FUN! But there won't be any sort of fun for me whatsoever. he shakes in fear
Titan Cat: Eh, too bad. he smirks as he punches Doge right into the face, causing him to bleed out
The three iconic area attackers of The Battle Act all begin to beat the shit out of Doge. Tank Cat is slamming his head right into Doge, causing him to bruise up all over the face. Bird Cat pounces right into Doge's forehead, causing him to cough up blood and have a deep mark on his forehead. And Titan Cat finishes off Doge by sending a punch right into his face, causing him to go unconscious within seconds.
Cat: watching from afar Holy shit...that was intense for sure!
Tank Cat: I'm sure Doge is okay! I don't want to hurt him... he's a funny little guy.
Cat: he stares at Doge Yeah... me too, I don't want him to end up not being around anymore to fight us. Hahah... he scratches the back of his head
Elsewhere, Bob is fighting Le'Boin in an epic one on one. Le'Boin slams his long trunk right into Bob. Crushing his chest, causing him to bleed and cough up blood. He glares at Le'Boin and rushes into him. He sends a blow right into the trunk, causing it to get crushed from the powerful impact. They are both fucked up from the battle, Bob is covered in grime, and is bleeding all over his forehead, and has a large bruise all over his chest. Le'Boin has a black eye, his trunk is bleeding as if it was a nosebleed, and his legs are all crumpled up.
Bob: weakly Not bad for a gigantic elephant like yourself. Eu posso vencer isso facilmente, elefante. (I can win this easily) he smirks as he flicks his toothpick
Le'Boin: I am not going to let you have the win, Bob. I have the huge advantage of my range, I actually managed to fuck up your face. It's really funny. he chuckles heartedly as he looks at Bob
Bob: I'll admit, you're better than Croco. Oh yeah...speaking of him, onde está o crocodilo? (where is the crocodile?)
Le'Boin: I don't speak Portuguese, but I believe you asked where Croco is. He's on the floor unconscious! It is really quite a sight to behold if I'm being honest.
Bob: I'm not letting you have the last laugh here, Le'Boin. You're a sick pervert who can't hold his grudges when a battle is on the prowess. I'm not saying you shouldn't read them, it's natural, but the fact a battle was about to begin. That chances everything.
Le'Boin: he begins snarling at Bob You take that back. I do not read Playboy magazines. You are evil for assuming such lies. Stop watching television, kid. It is rotting your petite brain with lies. he rushes after Bob
Bob: Oh, no you don't! he sends a blow right into Le'Boin's cheek, causing him to spew out blood from his jaw Take that, you dumbass twat.
Le'Boin: You are not getting away with that, you son of a bitch. COME HERE AND FIGHT ME LIKE A MAN! he stomps and slams his trunk down
Bob and Le'Boin rush after one another. Bob grabs Le'Boin's trunk in his arms before it could completely flatten him. He crushes up the trunk and lets it spew blood all over his hand. He manages to thrust it to the side, causing Le'Boin to fall on the side and destroy a lot of the floor.
Le'Boin: GUYS! Come here and help me out, Bob is about to beat the living shit out of me. he shouts, suddenly, Those Guys all spread out and form a meat shield around him
Bob: BEAN CATS! Come over and help a man deal with these pussies in front of me. he flicks his toothpick as he stares at them
Bean Cat L: Okay! What do you need help with, Bob? he leans on Bob as he and Bean Cat R bounce towards him
Bob: I just need your help clearing Those Guys up front. he grins as he cracks his neck
That Guy B: Yeah right! I love your big words, Bob. he giggles as he pounces on him and begins slapping him
That Guy A: he pounces on Bean Cats Everyone, pile on Bean Cats so they don't attack us!
Le'Boin: If I even attempt such a risky task, I'd fall on the floor and die on the spot!
Bob: Bom! (Good!) Time to show these wusses first who they're fucking with. he cracks his chuckles as he pounces on Those Guys
Bob grabs That Guy C and throws him away from the battlefield, he basically goes unconscious almost instantly from the impact of landing on the ground with such a hard thud. He smirks as he watches Those Guys A and B watch in fear as their friend got his head crushed as he lands on the floor.
That Guy A: Oh my God! That was the craziest shit ever... he shudders in fear I'm going to beat the shit out of you.
Bean Cats simultaneously: HOW ABOUT YOU DEAL WITH US INSTEAD!? they begin to bounce on Those Guys A and B
That Guy A attempts to slap them off, but he fails miserably, his crown starts bleeding out as he lands on the ground. That Guy B manages to slap Bean Cat R in the face. He ends up getting a huge slap mark all over his face. That Guy A giggles at the sight, Bean Cat L is definitely pissed off the sight.
Bean Cat R: Ow, that hurt you moron! I am going to deliver a solid bite into your FACE if that's what you want.
That Guy B: Try it, bastard. You stand no chance against me. he pounces on him
Bob: I'm still here, you know? he smirks as he begins to bash both their heads in
Those Guys B and A go completely unconscious, as their heads are bleeding out, their arms are covered in blood, their legs are crushed up and basically ruined. They are spewing blood as they lay there unconscious, Le'Boin is just traumatized.When all of a sudden, he trips over something, it turns out he tripped over a CAT! The unknown one being met today to be exact.
??????? ???: Heheheh. That tickles Mr. Le'Boin. they are giggling away, they are blushing and drooling like crazy
Le'Boin: Huh? Bondage Cat!? What are you doing here?
Bob: he is confused Bondage Cat? What in the actual fuck...
Bondage Cat stands out completely from the rest. Most likely because of his weird and perverted interest of Bondage play! He has a simplified body, similar to Boogie Cat, only larger. And has your average Cat head. But what really stands out is the fact he is covered in sweat, his mouth is always drooling, and he has a huge blush all over his face. And he is tied up with rope across his feet and his torso, tying his arms up too. As a result, his only method of moving is by shaking his body around, and his only method of attacking is by wriggling in place.
Bondage Cat: Oh, heheh. I'm sorry, I was trying to make my way across to the others. But that hit sure felt good. he is giggling and he seems to be desperate for more
Le'Boin: Oh God... why are you... into that!? even the Playboy himself is traumatized
Bondage Cat: Aw come on! I'm basically ASKING you to attack me. he is giggling away as he tries to wriggle towards Le'Boin
Suddenly, the rest of The Special Forces arrive to the scene on time and start attacking Le'Boin. Ninja Cat begins slashing his face with her sword. He begins bleeding all over his truck and his tusks begin to have scratch marks. Sumo Cat slams his body onto his legs, causing them to lose balance as he falls over. Samurai Cat rushes into the scene and begins whacking his abdomen with his Sashimono. Zombie Cat comes in and bites him in the chest, causing a lot of blood to begin spewing out of his chest. Cats in a Box whack his forehead with their spiked club. And Boogie Cat gives him a final kick in the rear. Eventually, he goes unconscious.
Bondage Cat: Allow me to help you guys out. Hahah. he begins shaking his way towards Le'Boin
Boogie Cat: Too late now. We already knocked him out cold!
Samurai Cat: I want to be the one to take your side here. But I can't exactly see where I'm going! he lifts up his helmet
Ninja Cat: Do you need help with those ropes? she approaches Bondage Cat and attempts to help with the fact he's tied up
Bondage Cat: Oh no...oh no! he wriggles away I don't want my ropes to be removed. he cowers away in fear They leave me...vulnerable!
Sumo Cat: Exactly, it is going to hurt you if you are vulnerable all the time.
Cat in a Box 1: Mew! Are you sure you like being in that position.
Sumo Cat: Oh no. You three will not see this. This is for mature Cats only. he closes the box and tosses it aside
Cat in a Box 3: But Bondage Cat is our friend! he yells as the three of them go flying
Zombie Cat: Typical tanker. Enjoying taking damage, how pathetic is that supposed to be? he scoffs as he fixes up Cats in a Box
Cat in a Box 2: Mew! We're not exactly children. We're just small little guys. I don't want to be treated like a kid. And neither do they. Cats in a Box all seem pissed off
Zombie Cat: Trust me...I understand you, I understand you a lot.
Suddenly, Snache, Lizard Cat, and Axe Cat all trip over Bondage Cat on the floor. Bondage Cat is enjoying every second of it as he lets out a few sighs of pleasure. Lizard Cat ends up looking at him with utter confusion.
Lizard Cat: Bondage Cat, is that you? he eyes him in a confused manner as he checks him out
Axe Cat: Yup, that's him for sure. Who else would have that flushed up face and that satisfied smile? he points his axe at him
Bondage Cat: Please...Axe Cat, hit me with your axe! he is shaking like crazy, almost as if he wants it to happen
Axe Cat: Alright I guess. he uses his axe and begins to whack Bondage Cat, he just giggles and screams in satisfaction
Bondage Cat: Yeah...keep going...it feels so good! he giggles away at the scene
Snache: Okay, what the hell am I looking at? he just stares at them in disbelief
Boogie Cat: You're looking at our melee, anti-Red, tanker, perverted, and down bad friend! Bondage Cat.
Snache: I KNOW WHO HE IS GOD DAMNIT! he snarls as he is about to attack Boogie Cat, but is stopped by Cat
Cat: I'm not letting you attack one of my buddies for the sake of it! Also Bondage Cat would love to be attacked by you. he giggles as he throws him away
Snache just grumbles in embarrassment, he begins to slither away, carrying all of the Enemies into his clutch as he begins to make his way to their next location.
Bob: Ah... so this must be The Special Forces Cat everyone is talking about. Hey there... he smirks as he walks towards him
Bondage Cat: he shakes as he looks up to have eye contact with Bob H-hi there Human! he giggles nervously as he wriggles towards him Shall I introduce myself to you or what? he begins to wriggle in the ropes
Bob: Alright fine. Tell me who the fuck you are, but I believe I already know half of it by just looking at you. he flicks his toothpick and chuckles, despite being very uneasy around him
Bondage Cat: Yeah sure...heheh. My name is uhh, Bondage Cat. I am the Anti-Red tanker of The Special Forces. I am strong against Red enemies, meaning I do extra damage while receiving less from them. I love my friends, and I love fighting. But unlike them, I prefer the...receiving! he giggles away, and blushes frantically Axe Cat was really doing me a favor just there, and I REALLY enjoyed every second of it. I believe the two of us would make good friends... nice to meet you! I would shake your hand but...heheheh, tied up. he turns around and jolts out his tied up feet, hoping Bob would shake them
Bob: Heh, okay, you actually seem kind of chill, despite being really weird. My name is Roberto Mourinho Jablovskyy, but everyone calls me Bob. I am 16 years old, and at that age, I probably shouldn't be seeing... well, this! I am not from here, I come from Lisbon, in Portugal. My mother sent me on a boat to a disciplinary camp in North Korea for my aggressive behavior. But the boat ended up going on the wrong currents, and I ended up in South Korea. So basically, a lot has happened. But we both seem like durable motherfuckers, so that's epic. Nice to meet you man! he grins as he reluctantly shakes his...feet No offense, but I'm probably going to wash this hand.
Bondage Cat: None taken...Bob... he smiles as he wriggles towards him Can you please just hit me right there real quick? he flicks his head towards his desired location on his shoulder blades I think I broke my back.
Bob: Yeah, I think I'm good. Bye... he slowly walks away uncomfortably as he makes his way inside of the enemy base to obtain the Danish Folktales treasure
Tank Cat: Wow! Are you sure you're okay in all of those ropes, my friend? he reaches down and investigates them
Bondage Cat: Yeah...if anything, I LOVE IT! he cackles as he nuzzles into Tank Cat's legs, Tank Cat is visibly scared
Cat: Hey Bob, did you get the treasure? he pokes him teasingly as he makes his way outside of the Enemy Base
Bob: Yup, it's right here! I just was talking to Bondage Cat real quick. He is actually a funny and interesting guy.
Cat: he giggles Yeah, who hates him other than the Red enemies? He's just that interesting.
Bob: Sim... sim... (Yes... yes...) he cackles as he flicks his toothpick and carries the Folktales treasures Hey Axe Cat! Quit fighting Ninja Cat and let's bounce already.
Axe Cat: No, I am trying to make sure I can easily beat her in a fight. Because she hates axe users.
Ninja Cat: I never said anything like that, lame-o. she smirks as she points her sword towards him I'm afraid we can't fight. Until next time, Axe Cat.
Axe Cat: Yeah, yeah, piss off, Ninja Cat. he smirks as he walks away
Titan Cat: he is smoking a cigarette So, Bondage Cat, are you saying you want me to literally just...hit you?
Bondage Cat: Yeah, yeah, anything like that! he giggles away at the thought of being hit by Titan Cat Hit me with your big, strong, muscular arms. he is blushing frantically at the sight of Titan Cat
Titan Cat: Alright then... Bird Cat grabs him, interrupting him from hitting Bondage Cat
Bird Cat: We're leaving, Titan Cat. Let's head back to our Cat Base and prepare to fall asleep in our dormitories. he smiles as he flies away
Titan Cat: Sorry, you can have this through. he takes one last puff out of his cigarette before burning the ash on Bondage Cat, who giggles away and loves it
Bondage Cat: This just might be better than your bulky fists... he giggles away before Samurai Cat pokes him
Samurai Cat: Come on! Everyone has been waiting for you... and me! he sighs as he carries him and drags him back to The Special Forces
The Special Forces simultaneously: BYE GUYS! they all wave as they run off
Titan Cat: Bye everyone. he sighs as he walks inside the Cat Base
Inside, The Battle Act are all tending to their injuries. Tank Cat and Bird Cat are especially the most flustered with all of the lust filled in the Cat AND the enemy Bob met for the first time. Everyone else is just chilling out after a long and exhausting day on the battlefield. Eventually, Bob speaks up.
Bob: Say Cat, where are we all going to next? Is it somewhere decent? he grins as he nudges him, he's now completely chill with Bondage Cat
Cat: Alright, say no more! I'll have your answer in a jiffy. he flicks through his log book Okay, tomorrow, we are all heading to Norway! And we are all facing; Snache, Those Guys, Hippoe, Pigge, Jackie Peng, Gory, Baa Baa, Sir Seal, and Croco. So everyone except Doge and Le'Boin, sadly. Everyone be prepared for tomorrow, we are going to need all the energy and power possible in order to take down these guys. Good night everyone, I'm heading to bed! he giggles as he leaves the place to sleep
Bean Cat R: Today was surely an interesting day. We got the treasure required to unlock the Super Register.
Suddenly, the doorbell rings, it was no other than Gamatoto! Cow Cat came to answer the door, he quickly gave him the Passion treasures, the French Bread treasures, and now, the Folktales treasure variants! Gamatoto gave him the Super Register, and now, The Battle Act have a better was of calculating their finances as well as increasing their profit.
Cow Cat: HEY EVERYONE! I got t- the whole room is empty Huh? Where the fuck did everyone go!?
Everyone is too tired to really focus on it today, so they all go upstairs and make their way to bed. Concluding a kick-ass day of adventure. They will dream of all the possibilities that will be delivered to them in Norway. Meanwhile, in Cat and Bob's room.
Bob: he is sleeping away, but it woken up by Cat Huh? What the hell do you want at this hour of the night?
Cat: I can't sleep... he groans as he plops himself down next to Bob and nuzzles against him Can you?
Bob: he sighs Well...I was sleeping peacefully until you woke me up! Now answer my question.
Cat: Oh, I just, had a lot on my mind, like, today, and tomorrow. These enemies are becoming too strong for you. You were bleeding everywhere, you were pushing yourself to your limits. And I'm scared... I'm scared if you get in a terrible accident.
Bob: he gently strokes Cat's head I'm sorry for being such a Dare Devil, but, it's what I do. he grins as he continues rubbing
Cat: he purrs softly as he leans into the petting It's not you that's keeping me up. I just feel bad that Doge isn't going to Norway. I want to beat his ass in so bad, but I feel like I miss him for more than that alone... you know?
Bob: Heh... I suppose I get you...I understand it must suck having go through not fighting your favorite enemy. He is pretty unique, huh?
Cat: Yeah, I suppose you are right... he looks up at Bob and smiles You're a good friend Bob.
Bob: Of course I fucking am, I'm the one that's carrying you guys through this shit hole. he winks as he begins to fall asleep Night Cat...
Cat: I suppose I should head to bed myself... he tucks Bob in and goes to his bed Good night, Bob, sweet dreams. he slowly falls asleep We'll... have a blast... tomorrow. he nuzzles into his pillow
TO BE CONTINUED
Well, look at that! Twenty nine episodes of this shit hole done! Here A LOT of down bad stuff happens, and all I can say is sorry! I apologize, but I have to stay respectful to the source material, it's not my fault there's a French elephant who loves vulgar magazines, or a Cat that loves Bondage play! Despite not having an interest in either activity and inexperienced with their communities, I think I pulled off the characters pretty well. If you want to partake in it, DO IT! Do whatever the fuck you want to do. Be free and perverted like Le'Boin and Bondage Cat, if you really want to, just as long as it doesn't involve minors, breaches consent, or harms anyone. I feel like this will slaughter my T rating (I TRIED TO KEEP IT AS 13 FRIENDLY AS POSSIBLE, I REALLY DID! AGGHHHHH!)
Stay tuned for the next edition if you weren't put off by these lovable characters :)
The Battle Cats (2014) and its respective characters and features are all owned by Ponos Corporation.
The character Bob is owned by me, however, feel free to use them, just as long as you credit me as the owner, and not make a profit.
Playboy is currently owned by Ben Kohn and PLBY Group.
This fiction is 100% unofficial and can be considered as fan made.