Naru savored her ramen as the memories floated in.
"Nice work up there. How long do you think it will take for them to clean it up," Teuichi set down another bowl in front of her.
"To clean? Only like an hour or 2, but for them to start? Who knows? I think hokage-jiji is getting old with how long he'll take to even do something about it," Naru cocked her head back and laughed. "Also, can I get tomato soup to go, 'ttebayo?"
Well, really he was probably dealing with all the other incidents Naru had set into motion for the day, but what's a little attention to the inefficiency of a military dictatorship?
"Coming right up. And what do you think of your teammates?"
"Hmm, Sakura-chan is smart, so she'll be nice to have and maybe we can be friends. Sayu-chan I know how to deal with and she knows how to deal with me, so overall, it seems like it'll be fun. And our sensei…aw crap, none of us met our sensei and Iruka didn't announce who it was. Lemme send a clone out, 'ttebayo."
She made a clone, henged it like Iruka and sent it out towards the academy. Unfortunately, right then, Iruka popped his head into the stall and sat down beside Naru. Maybe he didn't see-
"So Uzumaki, where'd you learn a kinjutsu like that, if that's what I think it was?"
-aw crap, of course he saw. Play it cool, play it cool…
"Hi, sensei! What do you mean, whatza kinjutsu?"
"The shadow clone I just saw jumping by, henged as me," he deadpanned. "And don't bother lying, it makes sense now how you're able to get away with all these pranks. But do tell, where'd you learn such a dangerous technique?"
After all, the shadow clone was dangerous for even jounin-level nin to attempt. If Iruka learned how early she learned the technique…
"Hmm, c'mon sensei, don't you know, ninja aren't supposed to give away their secrets." Oh but, maybe she could use this as an opportunity to swindle him. "Buuuut, since you're so kind as to pay for my ramen, I guess I can tell you sensei."
Hook.
"What brat, who said I'm paying-"
"Shhh, it's a really awesome story you don't want to miss any details of. As for where I learned it from, it was 'cuz of Mizuki-sensei!"
Line.
"The one that went missing 5 years ago?" Iruka looked incredulous. Well, he and Mizuki had been close friends before his seemingly sudden disappearance.
Anddd sinker.
"Yeah! He asked me to do him a favor and it was to bring him something that had the jutsu in it!"
Iruka was silent and she couldn't read his emotions; maybe he didn't understand?
"So then did he teach you it?" Iruka asked slowly, as if choosing his words carefully. "But even he was only a chuunin so…" he muttered under his breath.
Ha, as if Mizuki was a capable chuunin, let alone a capable sensei. But it's not like many could go up against her baa-chan in most aspects…
"Oh no, it was a missing-nin, though technically she wasn't one yet." She said not to mention her name, but that didn't mean she couldn't describe her. "She taught me it though, and then she messed up Mizuki-sensei pretty badly." It was actually Naru herself, but she didn't need her sensei to realize his friend lost to a six year old academy-student, even if it was a hundred versus one. "Apparently, he was a traitor trying to steal village secrets! I saw neither of them ever again though. Awesome story, huh?" Hopefully Iruka thought it was. ANBU didn't think so, but Anko-nee said that the people in there were grouches and that the fun people were in T & I.
Iruka's normally tan skin looked kinda pale. She could sense fear and despair coming off of him. Iruka was one of the teachers who tried to avoid her the most throughout her academy years, though not as much this last year. Maybe it was coming back?
"Oh no, sensei, are you feeling alright? I get it, it's okay if you have the Naru sickness that the civilians say their kids will get from being around me too much," Naru teased. She needed to get out. Iruka's emotions were overwhelming her. "I know my awesomeness is just too much for some people. But, thanks for paying for my ramen, you're the best! See-ya Teuichi-jiji!" Now for her escape act, since her second academy clone was nearby…
Like clockwork, Naru burst into a cloud of smoke. Teuchi noticed that the tomato soup was also gone. Huh. He never could tell the difference between the replacement jutsu smoke and clone smoke.
Meanwhile, Iruka was trying to swallow the thought that his childhood friend was a traitor after hearing nothing about him for five years. Surely, Uzumaki was lying?
"Yo," Kakashi walked into the stall. "I went to pick up my students and they weren't there, and they left me a nice rope trip that could've hurt a poor, unsuspecting chuunin, so now I'm here to lament another failing of a team of genin."
"Shut up, Hatake. I'm trying to process some earth-shattering news here," Iruka banged his head against the table.
"Oh? What's up? Did you finally realize no woman will ever find you desirable?" He deadpanned at Iruka. To Teuichi, "Give me the usual, Teuchi."
"Can it, will you? Wait, you were ANBU, so you should be able to tell me."
"Yeah, but uh, you really shouldn't be saying that outloud…"
"Did they ever find Mizuki's body? The sensei that went missing five years ago; it was around the time of the massacre, so news about him was drowned out."
"Ah hmm, Mizuki, Mizuki…" Kakashi drawled. Then, his one visible eye widened in realization as he remembered the finding of the silver haired man's corpse and the seal they found on his tongue. It was…not pretty to say the least. "Ah well they did, but I can't tell you anything more, as it's classified." And he couldn't physically say it, even if he wanted to.
Iruka's heart dropped. "Can you at least tell me if he was a traitor. One of my students claimed he was trying to steal something from the hokage and was 'messed up by a missing-nin.' But there's just no way…"
Kakashi pondered how he would answer this. "Well, that's certainly a plausible explanation. He was near unrecognizable when we found him. But, I can't really say anything for sure about what he did or didn't do."
"Uzumaki said it was a 'she' and there's only one rogue kunoichi…"
"Ahhh, Uzumaki was the one who told you? Well, it makes sense she'd be involved then. That woman was the one to take care of Uzumaki as an infant. Interesting." Kakashi also thought it interesting how she knew about the missing-nin declaration when that was never publicly made about said kunoichi. Kakashi eye-smiled at him.
"Interesting? I just found out what happened to my best friend after no news for years and it turns out one of my students KNEW the whole time and was involved? Not to mention, it's implied he was murdered by a deranged med-nin!"
"Well, Uzumaki sounds like an interesting student, with the type of things she gets up to. She wouldn't happen to be one of the students that I was supposed to meet today?" Teuchi set down Kakashi's bowl and he slurped up half of it in a split second. Then he propped his elbow on the table, placed his chin in his hand, and turned to Iruka, with his signature eye smile, trying not to look too interested in learning about his sensei's child.
"Your team?" Iruka said slowly, then his eyes widened in realization. "Oh yeah, I don't envy you, saddled with three kunoichi, especially those three," he cringed. "And I doubt Hokage-sama will let you fail them," Iruka chuckled at Kakashi's expense.
"No, he pretty much gave me the most politically charged team. However, none of them were even there when I went," Kakashi sighed.
Iruka gave him a look of sympathy. "Well, as thanks for telling me about Mizuki, I can go over their files with you and give you some advice on how to deal with each of them?" It was only fair he threw Hatake a bone, considering the hell he went through dealing with those kids, and he rather not have to see them again at the academy.
"Sure, why not?" And then Kakashi slurped the last half of his ramen. Iruka would never get used to that. How did he do that so quickly?
After clearing the table, Iruka got out three folders.
"While we're on the subject of her," Iruka opened up the thickest of the 3 folders.
~
Name: Uzumaki Naruko
Age: 12 years
Criminal Record: 60 counts of graffiti and vandalism, 20 counts of petty theft, 10 charges of assault and battery, 5 counts of robbery, warnings for loitering, indecent exposure, tampering with evidence, attempting to breach restricted areas, interacting with dangerous chemicals (see notes below), truancy and breaking curfew.
Academic Notes: Lowest ranking student, above average taijutsu with untrained, brawler form, below average in most other fields, requires repetition in theoretical concepts, and struggles with book learning. Proficient in stealth and traps making, large chakra reserves, but little-to-no control, sometimes accidentally letting it flood out undeterred.
Special notes: orphan since birth, does not respond well to authority, prefers to be called Naru, Naruto or Uzumaki, prone to outbursts that may or may not result in the destruction of property or cause harm to others, obsession of ramen, resentment of Konoha unknown, tendency to take actions against others she doesn't agree with
~
"Well…surely this is embellished. I mean we don't even have a police force anymore…" Kakashi sweatdropped.
"Ah, well you see, this is a combination of the charges from the KMPF, as well as the new civilian police force that has taken over civilian matters, but most of these are from the civilian side of things, considering their dislike of her," Iruka helpfully supplied. The civilian parents had a really big uproar about the hair-loss prank incident, and it was a major headache for the academy teachers to deal with. "Also, who else do you think was responsible for the view we have today? Somehow, she managed to get to the teacher's lounge today as well, though we couldn't prove it."
Sensei's kid has a lotta issues with self control, huh, thought Kakashi, dreadfully. It also didn't help who took her in after a certain crazy med-nin went rogue, but still, it didn't bode well for a village to have a shinobi who couldn't be controlled, let alone a jinchūriki. "How did she pass?"
"She scraped by with a just-barely passing score on everything. Though, I realize now she must've used shadow clones instead of the regular clone jutsu."
She mastered shadow clones already, before even becoming a genin?Her father's genius perhaps?
"Well," Kakashi let out a breath, dismissing the Uzumaki from his mind. "Surely the other two are fine, right?" Kakashi pleaded. One was Itachi's sister and one was a civilian. As long as Uchiha didn't go crazy like his kouhai and the civilian was a normal girl…
Iruka hesitated. "They have potential. They all do, even Uzumaki, but I have to admit, the other two can be a handful, especially considering a team setting. I feel like this team either is set up to be legendary or a dumpster fire."
Iruka set out the next file:
~
Name: Uchiha Sayuri
Age: 12
No criminal record
Academic notes: Number 1 student in all subjects except theoretical concepts. Proficient in Uchiha taijutsu, and shows proficiency in elemental ninjutsu. Lowest ranked in communication
Special notes: orphaned since age 8, severe lack of cooperation, occasional refusal to heed authority, resistance to communication of nearly all classmates except Uzumaki, detected moderate resentment of Konoha, sensitive about massacre, heavily unmotivated
~
"You knew Itachi in ANBU right? I wouldn't let her know that detail or she'll make your life hell. You will also have to 'earn her respect,' so feel free to be a little forceful with her. Otherwise, I'd say she'd be the easiest. She always completed assignments with brutal efficiency. She's always training, practically demanding new material, once she masters something."
"Easiest? What about the last one?" Kakashi was surprised that the Uchiha who 'resisted communication' could be considered the easiest. That didn't bode well for the last one…
"Well, she's a sweet kid, but I wonder if she'll be able to make it as a ninja…here I'll show what I mean." Iruka sighed and took out the last file.
Name: Haruno Sakura
Age: 12
Criminal Records [REDACTED]
~
"Redacted, what the hell?" Kakashi sputtered. And this was the civilian one.
"I can tell you about it. There was an incident a few years back…a group of the students was bullying Haruno-san, and she usually just took it. However, one time she cracked and by the time we got her off the student…she scratched their eyes out with her nails…keep reading."
She permanently maimed a student? Even Uzumaki hadn't done that. This kept getting worse and worse.
~
Academic notes: number 2 overall, beating out Uchiha in theoretical knowledge, average taijutsu, above average ninjutsu, adaptive to genjutsu, and has near prodigal chakra control.
Special notes: has undergone a year of light therapy with Yamanaka Inoichi, a kind girl who works well with others, has a high tolerance against being provoked, despite past behavior, prone to dissociation, no resentment towards Konoha.
Prodigal chakra control huh. Kurenai may have taken Itachi's place as the resident Genjutsu expert, but Konoha could still use a replacement for Tsunade. And this one seems unlikely to go on a psychotic break, if you ignore the incident.
Kakashi groaned. "Are you sure this one isn't the easiest? Guess I'll go dig up what I can on Haruno then. There's gotta be something I can access."
"Well, I mean she doesn't show symptoms much anymore, and she rather grasps things very easily, but I'd imagine it will be difficult to get past chuunin with that diet of hers and the possibility of dissociating...but maybe you could find something in her psych file?" Iruka gandered.
"Haha, even if you did look, you wouldn't find it 'cuz it doesn't exist, officially," came a lighthearted voice behind them. "But never fear, Anko-chan has arrived with the receipts," the purple-haired woman crowed, the scent of blood still strong on her.
"Anko, seriously? Did you just come back from a mission? Couldn't you be bothered to get cleaned up first?" Kakashi drawled, unimpressed.
"Ehhh, but there was no one at the mission desk 'cuz everyone's too busy cleaning up the monument and headquarters, but anyways, Kakashiiii," Anko whined. He was really not in the mood to deal with her antics. "I don't have psych file, buuuut this is really juicy stuff not even Hokage-sama has seen. And really, you should be nicer to me. I live with one of your new charges, y'know? Think of all the secrets I can spill," she yapped cheerfully and clasped her hands. Then she slammed a police report between him and Iruka.
Officer in charge: Uchiha Shisui
Crime: double homicide
Status of victims: civilian
Status of perpetrators: Haruno - civilian; Uzumaki - civilian
Report: two drunken civilians approached Uzumaki in an alleyway near the red light district, at around 2 AM and proceeded to grievously assault him, breaking alcohol bottles over his head. Haruno saw this and grabbed a knife and stabbed both of them, killing one instantly. The second man, when he attacked Haruno, brutally had his neck bitten out by Uzumaki. This was when I arrived at the scene.
Special notes: Fugaku, I'd put this in that drawer, Uzumaki healed without a scar and Haruno didn't have a single sign of injury either. Haruno had also dissociated to the point of having no memory of this incident, and it wouldn't do to possibly have her regain those memories by forcing a trial that would be high profile due to the presence of the jinchūriki. Besides, I disposed of the bodies already and they had no family to speak of (having all died from the kyuubi attack.)
~
It was dated years ago.
Iruka was appalled, Kakashi groaned, and Anko snickered.
Kakashi didn't know whether to be enraged at the fact the ANBU didn't do their job of watching over Uzumaki, the fact that two children were out that late, or the fact that Shisui would cover this up and tell Anko apparently, but not him.
Especially since an incident like this, where Naru undoubtedly released kyuubi chakra, was already cause for concern.
"I think they'll make great ninjas. It's not everyday you have a team of kids who have already seen death at its door. If they can handle that, they can handle the shinobi world just fine." Anko laughed with mirth, unbothered. Then again, why would she, considering those who she had grown up with had all gone crazy in one way or another. Naru's extensive criminal record made sense now, when you realized Anko was her only anchor in stability…
"They're not even genin yet, they're still children and all of them need to go through psych. What an oversight," Iruka lamented with sympathy, but by the relaxing of his shoulders, more than happy to wash his hands of them.
"Oh please, Umino. Don't act like you care and besides, what would a paper ninja like you understand? If you did, you would've reached out to the 2 children who were orphaned like you or listened to the civilian girl who was being viciously bullied. But noooo, you just sit there with your comfy job as the Sandaime's paper pusher and judge innocent kids for being forced to not be innocent. Like, we are literally ninja; we will have to kill, eventually. Is there really different between doing it before or after graduation?" Anko rasped blithely. "And Kakashi, hopefully I can trust you to do your job correctly. You of all people should be able to understand them." She snatched the report and body flickered away.
Just what the fuck had the hokage saddled him with?
Sayuri was on her way home, when a familiar blonde had dropped in front of her, who then got down on one knee, holding out a bowl to her. "Behold, my latest offering to you, madam." Mmm was that tomato soup, wait a sec-
She scowled, throwing out a kunai. "What the hell is your problem," she said a little more harshly than intended. But really, who could blame her for being caught off guard like this?
Naru got up, "geeez, don't shoot the messenger, I'm just trying to make nice with my teammates after all," she said cheekily.
Well Sayuri could get used to free food, she supposed, but she still wasn't used to dealing with genuine kindness. "If you insist," and took the offered soup. "So did you have anything important to inform me?"
"My god, you could afford to loosen up a bit," Naru huffed and fell into step with her. "I did find out who our sensei is. Surely you wanna know that," Naru was relaxed, hands clasped behind her neck.
Unfortunately, she did need to know who their sensei was, considering they all left without meeting him or her. She nodded.
"So my clone happened to be passing by Ichiraku, so I switched out and waited outside, since I just dropped a bombshell on Iruka and wanted to hear his reaction- Anyways, this shinobi with a mask and covered eye walks in and complains how none of us were there. Iruka called him Hatake, said he was in ANBU. Y'know who that is?"
Sayuri carefully didn't let anything show on her face. "Yeah, the last Hatake, Kakashi of the Sharingan…" she said neutrally.
Naruto still picked up on her mood. "Ah, he must've known your brother, Iruka advised him not to let you know that he knew him, but too late for that, huh? Oh yeah, Iruka went over our files with him. Called you the easiest actually."
She scowled. She wasn't some pet to be talked about in terms of difficulty to tame.
"When Iruka talked about Sakura's incident with Ami, the look on Kakashi-sensei's face was sooo funny. Though he didn't seem to think much of me, I don't know what to think of that. He doesn't even know me and he's probably written me off as a disappointment," Naru continued blabbering, but Sayu was lost in her thoughts, worries, wonderings and wishing Itachi was still there for her to ask him.
"Oh yeah," Naru's voice lanced into her thoughts. "Did you know they apparently measure our loyalty to Konoha in our files, like actually? How do you even measure that? Do the ANBU listen to us and write down if we ever say anything negative about the village, like, don't they have anything better to do?" Naru huffed.
"I doubt it's anything that conspicuous. But they probably have ways of ensuring the population is placated, so that they can catch wind of anyone planning to challenge authority," she carefully commented, paranoid now that they might be watched. "Not to mention, we're very important assets, politically and militarily."
When one branch gets sick, it must be dealt with before its sickness spreads to the rest. Or so Itachi had said.
"Ugh, but that's just so fucking stupid. Isn't the point of hokage to keep the citizens safe AND happy? What's the point of using power not to help, but to force the people you follow under your heel? I- I just- ughhhh." Naru shook her head and then declared, "when I'm actually hokage, everyone will be safe so that they don't feel the need to run away or take drastic measures to feel safe…" she drifted off, the despondent look of loss in her eyes that Sayuri was all too familiar with.
Sayu didn't respond. Because what could she say?
~
"My dream is to end all wars. And to do that, I need to be the strongest, imouto"
"But how? How does being the strongest let you do anything, but beat up others, I guess. Unless you're going to beat people into doing what you say? But, that's stupid, nii-san.
"Those that are strongest get to decide things, for themselves and for those weaker. They also get to choose whether their opponent lives or dies, to go to war or stay at peace. The hokage is the strongest person in the village.
...
...And people fear power. And if they fear you, they'll do anything you say.
~
Yes, people fear things they don't understand as well as people with strength, and he was both. And it turned on him. Even though they groomed him as the pride of the clan, so quick they were grow suspicious, to turn against him, blaming him for every ill that had befallen the clan, to which then he self-destructed in retaliation.
And would you look at that, now she had no clan and no one remembered Itachi Uchiha fondly. Such was the unfairness of the world.
The civilians already feared Naru, for some reason, and Sayuri really didn't have the heart to discourage her with a, "with what power, dobe?" Because in an ironic sort of way, she reminded her of Itachi. Even though she knew how his story had ended, Naru just radiated that steady, unwavering, confidence, never going back on her word and never doing anything by halves.
And yet, there's still no point in trying because the rot runs too deep to be fixed by simply becoming Hokage. The whole thing needs to burn down...
~
"There's no need for you to worry about such things. You should just live. Live, as unsightly as it might be, kill your emotions and resist the pattern, this world will try to force on to you."
~
How foolish, how stupid, anyone that thought they could just say they would fix everything and make it happen.
She sighed, her reasons and motivations dead like the air she expelled. He was gone. They were gone. She didn't have to care, but she did. She only had herself and their memories now. She owed it to them to stay alive. Staying alive would require at least working with her teammates. She turned to the blonde still walking silently by her side.
"Thanks Naru, for the soup and information," she said unsure, trying out the words. Wasn't the last time she said thanks, it was for dango with her brother? "Let me know if you find anything else out. I'm going this way," she stalked off towards her apartment, walking headfirst into memories that she drowned with him; that still threatened to haunt her.
"Ahh right, it was nice talking to you," Naruto turned towards the red-light district awkwardly.
She may or may not have smirked at Naru being caught off guard by her sudden departure. Payback for earlier.
Maybe this team thing wouldn't be so bad.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, I'm so fucked.
Naru rushed home, knowing she hadn't cleaned at all since Anko last left for her mission.
Ehhh, I hope she goes drinking with Kakashi and the jounin-sans or something.
Meanwhile, she was busy spouting off dreams and aspirations to Sayu, who didn't even care enough to call her stupid because she looked like she lost the will to live years ago.
Naru jumped up to the 3rd floor they had shared for years and fumbled with the keys before crashing inside.
"Wassup lil brat," crowed the woman, the snake, the demon-
-her Anko-nee, safe and sound-
-and Naru jumped into her arms.
"Anko-nee, I missed you so muchhh, -ack you're choking me." Anko had a vice-grip on her, she couldn't escape-
"Yeah brat, 'cuz you forgot to clean again, didn't you? There's not enough room for two unsanitary girls here, god," Anko sighed into her. "I missed you, cutie~"
"Ewww get off, you're getting your mission muck on me," Naru whined..
"WELL, I would've cleaned up, but I wasn't able to turn my mission report in for a long ass time 'cuz you done fucked up the headquarters, what the fuck," Anko was now wrestling with Naru.
"Oh yeah, oh yeah, did you like all my pranks, I did it as a prize for myself for graduating, but it's also my welcome back gift for you too, Anko-nee!" Naru said emphatically.
"God, you're so embarrassing. Why couldn't you have done purple instead of pink?" Anko had her pinned down now. "Who the fuck puts pink with orange? Nobody, that's what. Disappointed in you brat. I thought I taught you better."
"Yeah yeah, you love it so muchhhh, anyways gimme dango!"
"Bitch, get some yourself," she retorted and then proceeded to try to stab a stick full of dango in Naru's mouth, causing her to almost choke on it. Owww.
"Anyways, guess who's got a present for you for becoming genin because Kakashi's ass is not failing you." Anko moved off of her and went into the bedroom.
"What, what, Ankoooo you didn't have tooooo," Naru cried, but really she was secretly touched.
"I know, I know, I'm just the best nee-san ever. Here ya go," she said cheerily. "You're gonna be so shocked." She then set down a wrapped package in front of Naru.
Naru's interest was piqued. What could possibly have her shocked? She tore open the package and- nononono no fucking way. "I- I thought- how did you- " she swallowed and took a breath. "How did you get this? I thought it was lost with him after that night."
Anko shrugged, "He gave it to me right before, I had no idea what he was gonna do, by the way, before you ask. I just didn't mention it 'cuz you have a big ass mouth and the hokage would've tried to take it, and no way was I gonna let that happen. It's yours, it was written for you after all, even if a sick bastard was the owner before it. Now, open it up already."
In the package was a book. It looked ordinary from the outside, but she had seen it in this form a million times, years ago. Then she took it in her hands and the cover transformed. It was a book on fūinjutsu…
'Written and compiled by Uzumaki Kushina and Uchiha Mikoto.'
Uzumaki…
"Anko-nee, is she-" and then stopped. Anko's face was stricken, like she couldn't open her mouth.
"Just, open the book, brat," she managed to grit out.
On the inside cover were three names written in blood, under the heading, 'users.'
Uzumaki Kushina
Uchiha Mikoto
Uchiha Itachi
Why was his name struck out?
"Looks like this book requires a blood sacrifice to be used, like a sealing contract, wow. They put a lot of thought into it and sealing is still wack as fuck. Here," and Anko handed her a kunai.
"Does it matter what name I put?" she hesitated.
"I dunno, but I'm pretty sure they have some way of making sure only the people allowed can sign onto the book. It probably doesn't matter."
In the next free line, Naru wrote 'Uzumaki Naruto.' The book glowed and then her name solidified on the page. On the second page, a table of contents appeared, but with no page numbers. What…?
"Ooo spooky. Oh, so that's how he found whatever he needed at any time. He just picked the subject he wanted. Pretty neat, I wish real books did that."
Naru closed the book and hugged it to her chest. Something made by her own family…she didn't know the other Uzumaki, but she remembered Miko-oba, her kindness and her warm meals…
~
"It was made together by my mother and her best friend..." a voice she had almost forgotten.
~
And then she forgot and shook her head out. She breathed in the smell of the pages. Knowledge left for her, and Anko had kept it safe.
"Thank you so much, Anko-nee."
"Of course, Naru-chan."
A/N: Title from Horrible Kids by Set it Off
Update 7/25/23: Updated narration for better context and flow. Also changed Naru's name to mostly only be referred to as 'Naru' or 'Uzumaki.'