January 2nd Mbawa
Chilly Morning
By the time Rudolf had woken up the deafening noise of engines and marching had already begun. The camp was now buzzing with activity, from squad leaders trying to figure out their daily orders to people just trying to get breakfast, Rudolf was one those who were looking for breakfast. Leaving his bunk, he donned his white uniform over his checkered woolen parker, a present from Lutz. Looking around the tent he noticed just how empty it looked, the tent was usually full of odd personal items from all the crew members but now it looked quite bare.
Finding that his white pants were still soaked from the night previous, he quickly scrounged around for another pair. Leaving the tent Rudolf was pleasantly surprised that a large majority of the snow had been shoveled way, leaving a clear path for him to make his way to the mess tent. Walking over the roar of passing halftracks and tanks leaving the motor pool was almost deafening, wasn't snow meant to dampen noises he thought continuing with his journey. He walked past more tents, most of them had been damaged within an inch of their lives by the previous blizzard, leaning at haphazard angles and caved in with snow, though what were a few more tears in the fabric. Like most things in the Wehrmacht these tents had had a long and hard life, with patch work being the forefront of most of them, lines of rudimentary stiches ran along most of them, forming a patchwork not unlike ones that you would find in an elementary school.
Entering the large tent, Rudolf was greeted by a smell. It was neither pleasant nor unwelcome, but it was certainly the smell of… something. Grabbing a wooden bowl and spoon he made his way over to the soup pot. What was cooking was brown and watering, with chunks of meat which was probably chicken or whatever the kitchen staff had managed to get their hands on and bits of potato and thinly sliced carrot, with a side of something impersonating bread, being more like a brick or a cement than anything. Rudolf looked around the tent for a bit before his eyes settled on his crew sitting around a table sitting on a mish mash of stools, logs, and ill matching furniture. Sitting down next to them he began to eat the chicken broth; salt was its only real flavour alongside the watery texture, maybe the bread would help with that. Dipping the slice into the soup he found that it didn't even absorb the water, it just floated there before eventually sinking and dissolving in the water. Sighing, he put the spoon down and sculled the rest of the soup, chunks of old meat, sandy bread and off potatoes passed his lips, their flavours only being hidden by the obscene amount of salt.
Salt and Sadness, Rudolf thought.
"How do they manage to make the bread both crumbly and chewy, how do they fuck it up this badly?" Gunther groaned "I swear every time we come here, they find a new and improved way to make me miserable".
He and the others were visibly annoyed with the food situation. None of them had eaten properly in weeks, and fulfilling food items such as beef, lamb and pork hadn't been present in God knows how long. Most mornings were of a similar caliber, with breakfast being something tasteless with a side of bread mixed with sawdust.
"Ersatz shit" Deinhart grumbled as finished the rest of his bowl.
Gunther looked up from his bowl which he was wiping with a piece of bread and then stared up at the miserable driver.
"Indeed Deinhart, how about we go fetch some fudge cake instead or maybe a pork roast?" Gunther asked in a sarcastic tone.
"Well wouldn't that just be wonderful, if you may could you also grab some strudel, or maybe some beer, we'll go- no I'll go and just ask High command for some extra food." Responded Deinhart in an equally sarcastic tone.
Slamming his fist on the table Gunther stated, "Your absolutely right, I'll have to write a letter about this to high command immediately, this is absolutely outrageous. They really ought to have you in charge Deinhart, obviously you know how to feed yourself with that belly of yours."
The banter carried on for a few minutes attracting the attention of both the kitchen staff and the men around them, with the occasional chorus of laughter being heard from outside the tent.
One after another the crew finished their meals, none of them had found the meal pleasant in any what way.
The crew began making through the now downtrodden snow to their Jagdpanther. In the sunlight it sat proudly in the dark it was always difficult to judge the size of it but now out in the sun it was far easier to make out the details on it. 21 black stripes were ringed around the barrel, indents and craters scattered all over the tank's exterior. Boxes of equipment and small parts were haphazardly attached to the side with long steel cables coiled around in any what shape fit.
Their tank was one of many in the compound, however it was one of the last Jagdpanthers still operational with many others being lost to either mechanical failure or enemy action. Several spots lay empty where once more Jagdpanthers were parked, just more reminders of why they were doing this.
Their orders would be the same as yesterdays, make your way to a predesignated position on the map, and wait for the enemy to approach, then ambushing, then retreating once either the situation was untenable or when soviet artillery had finally zeroed in, repeat this several times a day. It had been like this for the pass month, with no respite in between expect for a short break during Christmas but even then, it was no holiday, nor did anyone have the energy to celebrate.
Rudolf clambered onto the tank taking a metal note of where everything was stored and mentally checking that the supplies from last night were still there. Finding that nothing was out of place he made his way inside the hull, finding that the entrance had nearly all been blocked by the obscene amount of fuel in the way. So instead of going in through the rear hatch me hade his way over to his hatch. Brushing away the snow he found that he had cracked it just slightly so that he could still twist it off. Opening his hatch, he began to slip in when he heard someone shout his name.
"Rudolf, c-come help us!" Lutz shouted from the rear of the tank.
Rudolf groaned, backtracking his previous path he made his way down to the rear of tank. Finding Lutz standing there with crank handle in hand and a large grin spread across his face.
"Don't look so happy there… anyway it's your t-t-turn to help me start her" Lutz gestured with a quivering hand to a small hole in the rear of the tank.
Snatching the Crank handle Rudolf slotted into the little and braced himself against it. The two men started to turn the handle; it was slow a first taking huge amounts of effort to complete one revolution. But rather quickly it started to become easier and easier and the whirring noise emanating from within the engine grew louder and louder. Upon reaching some arbitrary point that Rudolf himself had never quit figured out, Lutz jerked the handle out of the socket quickly sticking his hand into the same hole, he pressed a button and the machine roared to life as all twelve cylinders began firing and coughing out a dirty black smoke.
"Imagine trying to do that by yours-s-self" Lutz shouted gesturing to the now running engine, "C-c-come on let's get out of this snow".
The two men began clambering up the tank, Rudolf thoughts were drowned out not only by the engine of their tank but the multiple engines that had begun to start around him, joining into a large chorus that seemed to permeate from the very air itself.
Finally reaching his seat he wriggled into position. His part of the cabin was probably the most well maintained and comfiest, with "liberated" pillows laying around his seat alongside blankets that he had set up as rudimentary cushioning, in the event that his head swung into the hull or cannon breach which lay just on his left. Claus's seat behind him was fairly spartan, with few commodities, the only customization he had done was the picture of a women and a small child that was glued to the inner hull, though their identity eluded him, probably a girlfriend or something like that he thought. Other than that, the rest of the crew compartment was filled with either rags, pinups, stashed booze and maybe some letters from home, all stuffed away in various nooks and crannies. The rest of the compartment was taken up with ammunition, with most of it being anti-tank rounds and the rest being high explosive rounds. Whilst it wasn't exactly homely with its yellow interior and cramped features, Rudolf found it strangely comforting to be in, his only real complaints were the smells, which was to be expected, with it being five sweaty men in a large box, though usually they weren't that bad, but with the added smell of petrol fumes it became a nauseating freezer. Though the thick steel of this tank gave him a sense of 'normal' that he hadn't found anywhere else.
With the rest of the crew in position the hatches were closed, and the heater was cranked to full noise, pulling the toasty air from the engine, and dumping it right into the cabin. Putting on his head set Claus's authoritative voice rang out from the tinny speakers.
"Radio check, sound off"
"Driver, ready"
"Gunner, ready"
"Radio, ready
"Loader, ready!" shouted Lutz, whose position lacked a headset due to the amount of moving he would have to be doing, instead of a headset he had small wads of cotton stuffed in his ears.
"Very good alright wait one, we'll be bringing up the rear, so we have time to kill" Claus said as he began fidgeting with maps and other such paperwork.
The crew responded to this by pulling out books, cigarettes, and other trinkets.
Rudolf had in his hands a warn copy of war of the worlds, the book itself smelt and felt old with many of the pages having creases, tears, and stains. The book itself had been a great read that Rudolf had enjoyed very much but he had finished it the week earlier and craving something new he began seeking options.
"Gunther, what are you reading?" asked Rudolf, this was met with a long pause on the intercom, followed by a sigh.
"The Metamorphosis, why"
"Are you finished?"
"No"
"Do you have any other books?"
This question was followed by another sigh.
Rudolf sat there in silence twiddling his thumbs, he'd probably have to just wait in silence or try scabbing a cigarette off Deinhart. More silence followed, only being broken by the humming of the engine, but soon enough a book was thrown over the cannon breech, scoring Rudolf in the back of the head.
Leaning down he found a lightly scorched book labeled 'Storm of Steel' bound in a red cover. Its pages were slightly blackened and greasy, reeking of burnt hair and oil.
"Christ Gunther, what did you do to this thing" Rudolf said, stunned by the state of the book.
"I pulled it of some dead guy… five weeks ago" he said nonchalantly. Glancing at Rudolf, Gunther could see the look of disgust painted on his face. "What, I've done worse, anyway you remember that Panther that was with us five weeks ago."
Thinking back on it Rudolf tried to remember, it had been a long time since he had actually paid attention to any other crew.
"Vaguely"
"Well, if you remember, they got hit and I was asked to go collect tags. So, I went and did that, and the commander had that book in his front pocket" Gunther said lacking any sense of remorse in his voice.
"Huh, so you stole from the dead… such an upstanding member of Wehrmacht you are" Rudolf remarked.
"If you don't want it, I'll take it back." Gunther snapped back.
"No, no its fine, I'll cope." Rudolf said, trying not to shudder at the greasy feeling of the book cover.
This marked an end to the conversation within the tank, with it returning to the sound of the engine. But before too long a voice crackled over the radio, pausing his reading, Rudolf began listening in.
"All vehicles this is command vehicle 197, starting convoy to the designated area, orders are to set up a Killzone and wait and observe. Radio checks are to be carried out hourly and report back once contact has been established, out".
Rudolf relayed this information back to Claus, who in turn simply nodded his head. The waiting continued a little longer but soon enough all the other vehicles had passed, signaling the lone Jagdpanther to join the Convoy.
"Alright, Deinhart take us forward." Claus ordered. Claus didn't have to say this thanks to lever in front of Claus, due to the electronics of the tank Deinhart could interpret the lights in front of him to tell him which direction to head. However, Claus preferred using his voice, even if was unnecessary.
"Roger" Deinhart grumbled, seemingly displeased being woken up from his nap. Clanking and squealing could be heard coming from the right side of the tank, a moment later the Tank began to lumber forward as it rolled in to join the convoy. The Tank slowly plowed through the snow leaving a path of mud and compacted ice in its wake as the steel tracks tore up the supple ground. The Jadgpanther quickly joined in the rear, as the convoy continued at a snail's pace.
The crew continued in silence letting the mechanical noises of the Tank fill the cabin as it lumbered along slowly continuing along with the convoy. At some point in the journey, the engine began making funny noises, sounding almost out of sync. Rudolf listened to it as it became louder and more out of tune until the Jadgpanther became more and more sluggish, even struggling to keep up with halftracks and other Jagdpanzers.
Claus opened his hatch for a quick moment popping his head outside, before quickly ducking back inside, "Deinhart pull of the road, Rudolf radio command and let them know about the engine trouble."
The tank slowly made its way off the road, the engine protested this by sending out a large plume of black smoke and then cutting out leaving half the tank still on the road.
Rudolf without any emotion in his voice said "Base, this is Jagdpanther 121, currently experiencing engine troubles, will catch up to the convoy as soon as possible".
Without bothering to listen for a response Rudolf pulled off his headset, he looked through his sights and watched as the convoy slowly rounded a bend and began to slowly disappear into the winter snow, seemingly vanishing from the world as the noise of engines slowly grew quieter.
"Deinhart fix the engine, Rudolf go help him with it."
Both men moved without saying a word quickly exiting the tank through their respective hatches. Outside the tank it felt a world away from any war that was happening, with it being eerily quiet albeit for some birds chirping. Clambering out of his hatch he stood there for a moment, taking in the large sea of white surrounding the tank.
"You going to help me or just stand there" Deinhart said, who had already by the looks it fixed whatever was wrong with the engine. Snapping out of his daydream Rudolf walked to the deck and looked down at the engine with Deinhart who was already fiddling with some.
"So… what did you last night to the engine?" Rudolf asked.
"Undid a few spark plugs" Deinhart responded, gesturing to the uncovered engine.
"Huh, is that it" Rudolf asked again.
Deinhart just responded with a harsh stare before getting up and hopping off the rear of the deck.
"Come on, help me start it" Deinhart said.
Obliging, Rudolf quickly made his way down, landing with a soft crunch as the snowdrift the tank had created gave way to his weight. Together the men started to crank the machine back to life once again, almost like starting a large music box.
The whining noise once again grew louder and louder, before Deinhart motioned for Rudolf to stand back as he pressed a button, the engine roared back to life, now sounding a lot healthier than it had previously. Before too long the men had made their way back into the vehicle, deciding that he'd rather face the cold than the awful smell of the cabin Rudolf decided to ride outside his hatch.
Just like before the tank set off, though now it sounded far healthier, purring rather than spluttering now following the compacted path of the convoy. Rudolf enjoyed being outside the tank enjoying the fresh breeze wash over him and watching as the black and white forests rolled past but before two long the tank halted at a crossroad hemmed in by large black pines creating an almost claustrophobic atmosphere. Going east were the convoys tracks continuing off into the forest, north was an almost abandoned track being buried deep under snow with only a pair of tracks signaling anything was there previously, south also matched this description with not any evidence that there had been a track there before.
From the hull, Claus called out Rudolf's name with an almost palpable sense of unease.
Dropping into the tank he has met with a nervous silence, the men of this Jagdpanther all contemplating the next step.
It was Lutz who broke the silence who sat hunched over in his uncomfortable chair wringing his hand.
"So are we doing it or are we not" his voice on edge. "Because if not, we have to find a place to dump this stuff" gesturing to the stored fuel tanks and other things that had been collected. "Because being caught with this stuff would be death sentence, this whole trip is a death sentence if we are caught" The loaders voice growing more and more worried.
Deinhart spoke next with a hint of annoyance in his breath "Well the front lines are also a death sentence; I shouldn't have to remind you of what happened to 122".
122 was what Rudolf considered a sister tank whether that's how the rest of the crew viewed it was unknown to him. 122 was struck a week prior by what he learned to be a 122mm, whether by dumb luck or sheer skill the blow had turned 122 into a ball of fire shortly before detonating the remaining ammunition. He didn't see it personally, but he did see the aftermath, what was left was a black hulk of twisted metal that looked vaguely like a tank.
"What do they have to do with us or this" responded Lutz, "It was just unfortunate what happened to them, it'l-"
"Unfortunate, Unfortunate, it could have been us and all you have to say is unfortunate!" Deinhart yelled.
Before the argument could become any more heated Claus interrupted with a stern "Enough, you argue like children, Lutz we agreed to do this all together did we not?"
Lutz simply sat there, his nervous twitching seemingly stopping as Claus stared daggers into him.
"Yes, sir it's ju-" Lutz said nervously.
"Ah, we agreed to this remember, now your worry is justified, it would be stupid of you not to be. But we must follow through with our actions, now is that understood" Claus said.
"Sir" Lutz said defeated.
Claus looked over at Lutz before speaking "I think we all understand the consequences of what we are about to do. Is anyone else having doubts or second guessing their decision".
Silence
"Alright then, we'll hopefully make to Switzerland in about five weeks, though thats being optimistic, I shouldn't have to remind you that this trip may be our last and that it may end our lives, but if we don't it is almost a certain death to fight the Soviets. Whether we make it or not just know you guys were some of the favorite people to work with".
The silence continued for some time before Gunther spoke.
"So… who were your favorites." Gunther asked with a shit-eating grin.
A few chuckles, barely audible over the noise of the engine.
"Well, certainly not you Gunther, however your mother…" Claus responded cooly.
The tank was suddenly filled with giggles as they all laughed at poor attempt at humor, despite their looks not one of them was over the age of twenty-five and the humor matched this. Whether they laughed at the joke or just the shock of hearing something as stupid as that in their situation, it helped lower the nerves of all in the tank.
"How did you become an officer sir?" said Gunther shaking his head.
"Who knows Gunther, who knows." Claus said.
Pausing for a moment, Claus looked over the tank one more time.
"Alright Deinhart, hard right get us moving." Claus ordered.
Without any discussion the tank lumbered forward again and began to pivot right pushing the large snow drift out of its path. The Jagdpanther slowly began to pick up speed as it ploughed a path, the thick snow leaving a compacted path of ice in its wake. Rudolf returned to his spot on the roof watching the endless sea of black pine that surrounded them.