"Closing ceremony's tomorrow; is everyone done?" Miyuki asked.
"Should be done by the end of the day." Chika happily pointed to the pile of papers that were done already, compared to what was left, "Thanks to Kaguya-san's help."
"I don't mind it, it's not like I have anything else to do." Kaguya was barely able to hide her smugness as she played with her hair trim.
Indeed, much of Chika's work was entirely handwritten or needed to be filled out by hand. And Kaguya prized herself on her speed and the quality of her handwriting.
It wouldn't be a stretch to say that she had the best handwriting in the entire student council!
"Guess there's only Hachiman left." Miyuki said, "I wonder why he's late though."
Speaking of Hachiman, Kaguya was reminded of what Hayasaka had told her yesterday. Her plan of trying to find Hachiman's weakness at his house didn't work well. However, Hayasaka did cause quite an embarrassing scene, a retaliation returning the favor for Kaguya's own embarrassment.
However, there was something nagging Kaguya's mind.
Indeed, a worry that perhaps she had gone a little too far!
Kaguya's understanding of family dynamics was different than that of an average person. A misunderstanding inside a family could have a catastrophic effect that would require a lot of effort to mend.
Though Hayasaka assured her that he should be fine, Kaguya couldn't help but worry. Not because she truly cared about Hachiman, no, but because if something really bad happened to him because of Hayasaka's little stunt, then President Shirogane would also be sad.
No, you don't need to think about that. It's his own fault for constantly interrupting you and your plans. Kaguya's cold and ruthless inner voice told her. If needed, he must be absolutely crushed.
But was there a need to do that?
Looking from her own perspective, Kaguya could hardly imagine what her father's reaction would be if he found her and a boy doing something intimate.
She didn't want to imagine it. The consequences would be horrific.
"Fujiwara-san."
"Yes?"
"Hypothetically speaking, if your father found you and a boy alone doing unsavory things, what would his reaction be?"
"That was oddly specific." Chika hummed, "I think I would get grounded for quite a while and wouldn't be allowed to stay at school outside of class. I wouldn't even be able to use Club or Council as an excuse."
So more or less the same as her, though Kaguya had a feeling that would still be far too merciful for her own family's standards.
"What about you, President?"
Shirogane jolted a bit, his face a bit pale. "Why would you ask that, Shinomiya?"
Curiosity!
Of these past six months knowing Shinomiya Kaguya, she had never really been the type to be so forward about the matters of relationships between men and women.
Usually, she would ask shyly and be reserved, baiting Shirogane into making the first move. For her to ask such a particular topic with a straight, serious face was unusual.
"It's about a classmate."
It's about a classmate she said!
Indeed, this kind of excuse was not uncommon when people began to talk about sensitive matters, especially pertaining to themselves. When someone said a friend, they usually meant themselves!
Wha, Shinomiya is involved with who?!
"Well, President, how would it be with you?"
Miyuki was conflicted. On one hand, she was asking this with a very serious face. On the other hand, if he answered seriously...
He could just imagine it!
"Oh, my. So that's how your father acts." Kaguya looked down smugly as she said, "How cute."
Not happening! No matter what, Miyuki would never answer that truthfully! That said, it wasn't as if he intended to lie. Plus, it wasn't as if Miyuki had ever experienced something like that either!
Indeed, Shirogane Miyuki, experience with girls: Zero.
So he simply had to give a plausible reaction that his father would take in that kind of situation.
However!
There was also the matter of the fact that he still had to hide his inexperience. So there was only one way left, that is, to bluff.
"W-well, my father lectured me about the importance of playing it safe." Miyuki grinned, "Otherwise I don't think I would be punished or anything."
"Whoa, your father's really open-minded." Chika hummed, "I wish my father would be that lenient."
Miyuki coughed. "Well, parents generally act based on their own experiences. Sometimes they would consider their experience is the best option and give that advice to their children, sometimes they would consider it a bad experience and give a cautionary message instead, and sometimes they may wish to be better than how their own parents acted."
Miyuki calmed down and rationally continued, "So it's not as if you can predict what they will do without knowing their character and past history."
Well, that was a good answer, Miyuki sighed.
"I see." Kaguya sighed in relief as well.
According to Hayasaka's explanation, it seemed that Hachiman's parents were also similarly open-minded, if not downright neglectful. So the fallout couldn't have been that bad. Unless...
"Move aside!"
They heard the door to the council room clack and then suddenly get kicked open.
They saw none other than Ryuju Momo supporting Hachiman on her shoulder. "Someone take care of this idiot, please?"
"Huh? Hachiman?! Oi!" Without pause, Miyuki rushed over and took over the load that was Hachiman's body in her stead. "Is he sick?"
"No, I couldn't sleep last night and ended up working until morning." Hachiman yawned, "During the lecture I was fine but afterwards I felt like I would crash down to the floor."
"You should have gone to the infirmary instead, you idiot." Miyuki hissed.
Hachiman grabbed some papers out of his bag and slammed them on Miyuki's table. "End of year report for General Affairs. I'm so fucking done."
"That doesn't matter," Miyuki told him, but Hachiman had dozed off. "...And he's asleep now, the moron."
"Ah." Chika stood up and changed her seat, "Here, here."
Miyuki looked at her weirdly, but laid Hachiman on the same sofa. Chika pulled him closer, however, and let Hachiman's head rest on her lap.
"AH!" Miyuki and Kaguya both gasped.
Lap Pillow!
This legendary romantic scene usually signifies the emotional and physical comfort shown by two people, though the awkwardness can also be played for comedy. Nevertheless, Hachiman was fast asleep and likely didn't realize what was happening, however, the way Chika did this for him was surprising.
Well, to Miyuki at least. Kaguya knew just how shameless Fujiwara Chika was, so it cam mostly as a mild surprise to her.
"Ryuju-san...wasn't it?" Miyuki turned to the Yakuza Princess, "Thank you for bringing him here."
"I would have liked to send him home by car, but he insisted." Momo shook her head, "Someone needs to deal with his bike too."
"What about his family?" Kaguya asked, feigning ignorance. Though she already aware of Hachiman's situation, it was better to show some curiosity.
"He lives alone in Minato," Momo said as she squatted near the sofa and kept poking Hachiman's cheek, making him squirm. "His parents occasionally come to check on him though. Their primary residence is in Chiba."
Chika blew some air into Hachiman's ear, which made him shudder as if he was experiencing a nightmare.
Miyuki looked at the scene with pity. Anyone else would have thought it was a scene out of harem fiction, but it was crystal clear that Hachiman was being bullied.
Miyuki did not envy that position in the slightest. Girls are terrifying creatures indeed. And only true men could see a harem situation for what it really was; Hell.
This was cemented even more when Momo pulled out a water-based marker and began drawing doodles on his face.
Kaguya watched the scene with growing mortification.
"Ano, Ryuju-san, Fujiwara-san, you should not do that!" Kaguya said, her voice completely shaken.
A prank!
Fundamentally, a prank was something that was played on someone to make them mad. However, if two people were considered close enough, then the victim wouldn't get mad and would either laugh or brush it off!
Putting it in another way, a prank's result could be gauged as a measurement of the distance between two people. And indeed, Hachiman was close enough with both girls that something like this wasn't out of bounds at all.
But Shinomiya Kaguya was different!
She had been raised with a strict moral code, with no leniency offered to forgive pranks. The act of writing on someone's forehead was completely unthinkable for her!
In her mind, it was perfectly plausible and acceptable to retaliate with great force!
"Awawawawawa!" Kaguya tried to stop them but too late. Momo and Fujiwara even took pictures with their phones!
This was blackmail!
"Alright then, I'm going on my way," Momo said without the slightest bit of politeness, leaving the door open as she left. As expected of a Yakuza Princess!
Miyuki went to close the door while Kaguya still panicked for whatever reason. "I'm going to pick some flower." She said, then she left the room before Miyuki could close the door.
Ah, so she wants to go to the toilet?
Chika picked up a sheet of wet wipes to gently clean the marker doodles on Hachiman's face, while lovingly saying, "Thanks for your hard work~"
Miyuki furrowed his eyebrows.
Chika brushed Hachiman's hair slightly without disturbing him, then continued her work using a plywood WordPad* as support. It must have been awkward and tiring to do this, but Chika refused to budge and just held the pad with her left hand while working on her paperwork.
Miyuki didn't know Chika all that much, but wat he did know was that her father was very strict and banned pretty much anything related to romance. Whether it was shoujo manga or boyfriends.
Chika might be a bit sneaky, but she was pretty much obedient when it came to her parents' orders. At her core, Fujiwara Chika was the good child of the Fujiwara family.
Fujiwara Chika had a lot of fans and admirers, and a lot of them were of the opposite sex. However, she always brushed off their advances and rejected their confessions because of her father's decree.
But, between the lap pillow and this strange display of affection and care?
Suppose that she made an exception for Hachiman...maybe she really is...
"Ah? I need to go to the bathroom as well!"
Fujiwara shoved Hachiman's head aside that it ended up dangling from the sofa.
Miyuki looked at him with horror.
How the heck could he stay asleep after that?!
やはり, 彼らが望む告白は間違っている.
As expected, the Confession they want is wrong
Original Story by: Watari Wataru and Akasaka Aka
Written by: ZeroXSEED, Co-Writer/Editor: GoukaRyuu
Chapter 7 - Kaguya wants to take a break...
"And she fell asleep too," Kaguya remarked when she finished the last batch of paperwork. Soft breath came out of Chika's mouth as she dozed, Hachiman's head still resting on her lap.
"Well, we're getting finished one day ahead of schedule, so I suppose it's a worthy tradeoff," Miyuki remarked, he had been finished auditing the financial report for a while, "Tomorrow we can go home immediately after the closing ceremony."
"I see, next should be Spring vacation then." Kaguya hummed.
Spring Vacation!
At the end of the academic year, somewhere between late March and early April, most schools in Japan have a short period of vacation that lasts one or two weeks, depending on the school's usual tradition.
Officially, the period has been recognized by the government of Tokyo, as well as by the Department of Education. Spring Vacation would be between March 25 to April 5th. Rationally, virtually all public schools would have to use the same measurement of vacation length.
Though Shuchiin Academy High School was not a public school, it also used the same standards as a form of respect and solidarity!
"That's true."
"Do you have any special plans, Shinomiya?"
"There is a family plan to meet together and Hanami** in Kyoto, but otherwise nothing."
Indeed! Though Shinomiya had a western-style home here in Tokyo, their main residence resided in Kyoto, and had been preserved since before World War II!
Though Kaguya herself was raised here in Tokyo along with Hayasaka, once in awhile she would have to return to fulfill family obligations by showing herself properly.
"How about you, President? Do you have plans? Will you be busy working instead?"
"Actually, I'm going to the countryside to help with the farm. It will be a family trip too." Miyuki answered.
"I see, so both of us have plans then."
"Well, I'm only going for a week."
"I'll be in Kyoto for about three or four days," Kaguya said.
Miyuki scoffed, "That's a lot of free time, I'd like to do something."
"Yes, I'd like to do something too." Kaguya smiled widely.
Kaguya and Miyuki's eyes both sharpened. Indeed, both of them felt this was the correct avenue of attack!
Spring vacation right before the start of a new year, as the flowers of cherry blossoms bloomed in full force; and thus so did the chance for romance to develop!
Both Kaguya and Miyuki imagined the same thing, standing face to face in a field of flowers, as beautiful petals danced in the wind. And then!
"President!"
"Shinomiya!"
And with that, they would embrace each other, surrounded by the lovely pink scenery of youthful spring.
If they spent their time together during vacation, it was almost ensured that their relationship would move to the next step.
However!
As said before, they were so full of themselves that making the first move would be unacceptable!
However, without anyone else, they could only wait for the other to make that move. The useful catalysts that were Fujiwara Chika and Hikigaya Hachiman were asleep.
Because of this, both of them froze in awkwardness.
"What do you want to do, President?"
"What do you want to do, Shinomiya?"
They asked each other simultaneously.
At first glance, it seemed quite a harmless question. However, if you looked at it from a different perspective, it was basically letting the other side choose where to go.
But!
At the same time, letting the other side choose meant also the one who proposed the idea needed to give the courtesy of inviting others!
The problem was the roadblock that neither of them was willing to budge!
Or were they?
"I was thinking, maybe we could all go on a trip or something," Miyuki said, in his usual fashion of improvising. "And I do mean the entire student council."
He put emphasis on all of them, making sure Kaguya was not thinking of only herself specifically. Of course, Kaguya was well aware of that too, and hid her ominous grin in response.
As if she'd let him have his way! Or maybe she would?
"That's true. Is there any particular place you're interested in?"
Offensive approach again!
But Miyuki steeled himself up and stood up to get his share of caffeine. With a steaming cup in hand, he answered. "I was honestly thinking Hanami is fine. But, if you think about it, Shinomiya, you would also have a hanami event at the family house, so doing it twice would lessen the value."
With a smirk brimming in arrogance, Miyuki looked back at Kaguya and said, "Of course, I was thinking of Yozakura***."
Yozakura!
As the sky turned dark, various gentle lights would be turned on, making the bright, scarlet sakura petals shine in the night. The beauty of the visuals was unmatched, as such it could be considered the display of heaven itself!
In such a situation, even the most hardened heart of a maiden would thaw and melt!
But Shinomiya Kaguya was not just any maiden! It was like comparing heaven and earth, for she was a goddess with a will of steel!
Or so she liked to think.
"Yozakura...huh?"
She was legit out of it for a couple of seconds, imagining the scenery wholesale before snapping out of her fantasy. "I suppose that sounds like a good idea."
Indeed, there was absolutely no situation more romantic than that. And in those conditions, she would make him confess!
"Well, we still have to ask the two of them."
"Ik hoorde veel goeds op de eerste dag van het nieuwe jaar, dus ik ben blij dat jij ook iets leuks hoorde." Chika sleep-talked, in Dutch at that.
When Hachiman woke up, he was so shocked that he almost rolled backwards and hit the floor with his head. Thankfully, his reflexes kicked in just in time and he ended up dangling from the sofa's edge.
"What the hell?"
Chika twitched and yawned, and then stretched her arms. She rubbed her eyes and looked at the clock, "Whoa, it's this late already?"
"You two sleep all too well together." Kaguya and Miyuki both looked at her haughtily and said, "How cute."
Whereas Chika just blinked because she didn't think too much about it, Hachiman legit wanted to jump out of the window already!
"Anyway putting that aside, Shinomiya and I were talking about Spring Vacation." Miyuki switched the topic, "What do you think about Yozakura?"
"Hmm, Yozakura is it? Personally, I think it's a bit boring, and my schedule for vacation is almost full." Chika remarked nonchalantly, and yet her words felt like a giant harpoon stabbing through the President and Vice-President both.
Fujiwara-san was one thing, but there was no way this plan could survive with just Hikigaya-san as the third wheel. Someone needed to keep him occupied.
Kaguya bit her thumb slightly without leaving any marks. Was there any way to make Chika reconsider?
There was none at all!
After almost a decade knowing her, Kaguya knew just how insufferably selfish Chika could be. Kaguya had learned to never rely on her for something like this!
Of course, she had a backup plan!
Plan Honey Trap with Hayasaka could be used anytime she wished, considering how successful it went last time (failed the main objective but accomplished its goal of revenge), then it should work a second time!
"Too bad, if that's the case. Let's just try to line up our empty schedules then." Hachiman brushed her off.
Chika shrieked, "Hee?! You're going to leave me out?"
"Cry me a river, well-traveled girl. There's no reason we have to adjust our schedules to accommodate you." Hachiman scoffed.
"No way no way no way no way no way!" Chika grabbed his collar and shook him desperately. "You two, please help me escape from the clutches of this demon!"
"Look who's clutching who?" Hachiman barked back.
To be honest it wasn't like Miyuki and Kaguya didn't agree with his viewpoint.
"We also need to invite Ishigami while we're at it." Miyuki said, "Just think of it as a welcoming party for him officially becoming a member."
"Eh?"
Kaguya was caught off guard, she thought Miyuki would prefer fewer people coming. But then again, it was very much in character for him. Because deep inside, Shirogane Miyuki had always been kind like that...
Also, Kaguya could use Ishigami as bait to tie Hachiman away from interrupting.
Yes. This plan was absolutely flawless!
"Anyway, I should go home quickly," Hachiman said as he picked up his bag and yawned, when he stretched his back joints some of them made a soft cracking sound.
"Hayhayhay, where are you going?" Chika grabbed his sleeve to slow him down, "You still owe me for that lap pillow!"
"No one asked you to!" Hachiman blushed hard in response. Seriously that was really embarrassing.
"No, but you owe me anyway! Drop me off at my house with your motorcycle!"
"Don't be ridiculous. You have a personal driver and besides, your father would skin me alive!"
"Oh, so if it's Momo-chan you're fine with it but when it's your own fellow council member you get stingy?" Chika glared, "Besides, father already knows you so it should be fine!"
Hachiman raised a finger to argue, but lowered it and gave up. "You know what, whatever. Let's go."
"Yaaaay!" Chika jumped around excitedly.
Kaguya and Miyuki were too frightened to say anything when they saw the proverbial whipping of Hikigaya Hachiman by none other than Fujiwara Chika, the embodiment of Chaos Theory. No matter how one looked at it, she had played him like a fiddle.
Let it never be said again that Fujiwara Chika would miss the chance for an exciting adventure!
The result of Today's battle: Fujiwara Chika's splendid victory.
* Not to be confused with the software WordPad. It's just a solid, smooth pad used underneath paper to ensure consistent writing quality.
** Literally flower watching, basically a picnic in the middle of a Sakura garden.
*** Means watching Sakura in the dark, i.e. nighttime gathering in a Sakura garden. It has a considerably more subdued, spiritual, and luxurious tone than hanami.