Ishigami Yuu was anxious.
When he had been approached by a pair of Senpai from Shuchiin High, he was extremely terrified. However, their arrival brought him something joyful and heartwarming; enough to make him cry.
They brought him hope.
As long as they were here with him, it didn't matter if he needed to go against the world. As long as someone knew the truth and believed in him, he didn't care what happened anymore.
Somehow, he managed to skip the junior high graduation ceremony, and was granted an exception to the extremely stringent Shuchiin preliminary exam, something that many who graduated from Shuchiin Middle failed to pass.
For all his bad luck, there was always a silver lining.
"Ishigami, the President is here to pick you up!"
"Alright."
Ishigami looked at the mirror and made sure his clothes looked neat and tidy. His Senpai told him to dress however he wanted, just don't be too garish or sloppy.
Ishigami, in his usual laziness, decided to go with a cardigan over a t-shirt. He didn't look half bad in that, at the very least.
"Good evening, President and..."
Ishigami blinked.
He saw a strange blond-haired princely young man leaning on a black kei car with gold trim, a dragon logo boldly emblazoned on its side. His eyes were so clear that they were almost crystalline.
Who?
"What are you gaping at there, Ishigami? Let's go." He called.
Ah, Ishigami knew that voice.
"P-president? You look different?"
Shirogane Miyuki, dressed rather minimally in a white shirt with the sleeves pulled up slightly, unbuttoned collar, black vest, and a set of blue jeans to pair with black slacks. But more than that, his face just looked... different.
"Is that so? Then it's good. Ride shotgun, we're going wild tonight."
Ishigami sat down in the front passenger seat, while Miyuki was on the driver's side.
"You have a car license?"
"Only for the small ones," Miyuki said as he turned the key in the ignition, "Wear your seat-belt, you two."
Ishigami looked at his seat-belt, and noticed that it was locked already, he then looked in the rear-view mirror and noticed two extra passengers.
It was a pair of young Yakuza.
"AAAAHHHHH!" Ishigami screamed like a little girl in response.
"What the hell is your problem?!" The woman asked.
"Shut up Ishigami." The man scowled.
"Wait, that voice. Hikigaya-senpai?" Ishigami asked after he managed to stop screaming.
"Of course it's me, dumbass." Hachiman smacked him with a slipper, "Who else would it be?"
Miyuki scoffed, "I told you, with your hair up you look like a chinpira*."
"But he could pull that off nicely!" Momo defended him.
Well, there was no doubt that Hachiman looked handsome with his hair combed back like that, especially paired with an unbuttoned suit.
It was still scary nonetheless.
Compared to them, Ishigami felt somewhat inadequate now, and then hurriedly combed his hair to the side so as not to cover his eyes.
If it was just for today, then maybe... maybe it'd be fine.
"By the way, she's Ryuju Momo, she's a daughter of the Ryuju group and President of the Astronomy Club. As you know, she was the Council's Treasurer until recently. So she's your Senpai in more ways than one." Miyuki explained.
"He-hello, Ryuju-senpai," Ishigami greeted Momo in weak voice.
Momo stayed quiet while staring at him, not even blinking.
"Louder, Ishigami!" Hachiman ordered.
"My name is Ishigami Yuu, starting in April I'll be treasurer of the Shuchiin High student council! Nice to meet you, Senpai!" Ishigami yelled.
"Good." Momo said, "Remember, never show your weakness once you start going to Shuchiin High. Once people start looking down on you, that's the end of it."
Ishigami didn't understand what she had meant by that. But, for whatever reason, he felt relieved.
"Where are we going again?" Ishigami asked.
"Tokyo Midtown, we booked the balcony of a small restaurant nearby for the celebration of the successful charity event this March."
"Ah, I've heard that one. The legendary White Day charity event."
Spearheaded by the Shuchiin Public Service Club and Student Council, the White Day charity events involved many big names and corporations in metropolitan Tokyo. The scale wasn't something noteworthy, not with the people involved, but for something entirely organized by high school students?
"We were originally supposed to host this party when we had some daylight, but I worked with Yukinoshita so that we could have a Yozakura event instead." Miyuki proudly grinned.
"So that's your secret plan, having an affair with Yukinoshita behind our back?" Hachiman teased him.
"Don't call that an affair." Miyuki rolled his eyes aside, "Well, she's a bit hard to talk to, but at least nowhere as bad as Shinomiya was in the past."
Hachiman couldn't agree more.
"Can't you go faster? We'll be late at this rate." Momo questioned Miyuki.
"Fuck no. This car is a monster above 4000 rpm. Which dip-shit put a high-pressure turbo and racing ECU on a Kei car again?!" Miyuki barked in sheer terror.
"Don't insult Tajima-sensei you imbecile!" Momo said in defense, "Besides its a perfectly legal and safe modification."
"Just because it's safe and legal doesn't mean you should do it." Miyuki grit his teeth as he hurriedly switched the gear as he faced a red light, preparing to cross an intersection. "The mileage will be horrible, I just know it."
"It's fine, the ECU is programmed to adjust the fuel expenditure to the boost. It'll still achieve 15 km/l** without boost during city driving."
Ishigami didn't know what they were talking about, but he did notice how delicate Miyuki was in the driver's seat, as if he was afraid of going too fast.
Oh well, if nothing else tonight wouldn't be boring or lonely.
"Umm, it might be presumptuous of me, but... Hikigaya-senpai, Ryuju-senpai... are you two dating?"
The three other people in the car burst out laughing.
"Going out with this opportunist scum? As if." Momo laughed, "He barely qualifies as a man!"
"I'm not going to take that bait even when it's been shoved right in front of my face." Hachiman smugly said.
"You just HAVE to put salt on my wound, don't you?" Momo pushed Hachiman's face into the window in anger. Hachiman retaliated by squishing her cheeks with his hand instead.
Well, wasn't that very rude of them, but then again, Ishigami thought that the best kind of friends were those who could talk shit to each other's face, as opposed to those who put on a friendly facade but whispered behind each other's backs...
"They must be very close friends then." He concluded.
"We all are." Miyuki smiled, "Welcome to Shuchiin student council, Ishigami-kun. Officially that is."
That's right. Starting next semester, Ishigami Yuu would attend Shuchiin High and work in the Student Council for real.
They were welcomed by the sight of a bright pink roadside along the way. Indeed, along this road were hundreds of sakura trees, illuminated by the lights installed across the walkway. It was perfect for those who wished to enjoy Yozakura but still wanted to enjoy the bustling road of the city's heart, filled with modern entertainment and economic activities.
"You guys go ahead, I'll park the car elsewhere," Miyuki told them once they stopped in front of a restaurant.
Ishigami got out first, followed a moment later by Hachiman who kept the door open for Momo to climb out. The black Kei car left shortly afterwards.
"We'll wait for Fujiwara and Shinomiya here. It shouldn't be too long."
"I'll go ahead and join the other guests," Momo said.
The limousine of the Fujiwara family arrived mere seconds after Momo entered the building. The driver stepped out and opened the door for the ladies.
"Long time no see, Hikki-san!" Fujiwara Chika waved her hand happily.
"Yo." Hachiman lightly greeted back.
They were quiet for a couple of seconds as they inspected each other physically.
"You look nice in that dress. Didn't wear your hair-ribbon-thing today?"
"Of course not, Hikki-san you dummy!" Chika slapped his shoulder, "But you look surprisingly cool in that getup."
Hachiman was referring to the strange ribbon that was always present, attached to Chika's front bang. Ishigami, of course, was completely clueless as this was his first time meeting her.
"Ah, so it's the famed Ishigami-kun." Chika approached the now stiffened Ishigami Yuu. "Nice to meet you, I'm Secretary Fujiwara Chika."
"Umm, err, yes, please take care of me."
Ishigami Yuu hadn't talked with any girls in almost half a year. Understandably, he was extremely, extremely nervous!
Especially in front of such a beautifully, gorgeous girl like Fujiwara Chika! Also, she had a huge chest! Ishigami mustered all the willpower he had to avoid looking!
"Don't be too nervous, Ishigami-kun." Kaguya said, "No one is going to judge you here."
"Ah."
With incredible elegance, Kaguya exited the limo without a sound. Unlike the voluptuous Chika, Kaguya had a slender but firmly toned body, accentuated by her simple, high-quality gown. "And by any chance, did you officially join the Ryuju group, Hikigaya-san? It suits you so well that I'm uncomfortable by the sight."
Even though she said it with a smile, her words were subtly venomous! If Ishigami was in Hachiman's position, he'd weep so hard.
But as for Hachiman himself, he didn't even blink.
"I'm just going to keep this hairdo just to piss you off at school," Hachiman said without irony.
Ishigami guessed that those two didn't get along well, at all. Still, Kaguya looked at Hachiman with a charming look.
And a strange, shadowy presence seemed to appear behind her, like a shinigami she was going to send out to reap Hachiman's very soul. Hachiman, on the other hand, shone brightly with absolute zen, like some twisted form of the Buddha, he faced his possible death with dignity.
A black-haired young butler finally got out and stood behind Kaguya, looking away like he feared something.
What a handsome guy. Ishigami wondered why he looked so tense. New to the job?
"Not even the start of the new semester and you're fighting again." Miyuki finally returned from parking the car. "Long time no see, Fujiwara, Shinomiya."
"Ah, long time no see President, how are you..." Chika tried to greet him casually but then widened her eyes from the shock, "You?!"
Shirogane Miyuki never looked so charming and pristine!
"Hmm, it's average I guess, I went to the countryside and helped with the farm my grandparents own." Miyuki told her, "Let's go, everyone."
Miyuki looked at Kaguya, who had frozen in the place too. "Is there something wrong, Shinomiya?"
"No, there's nothing at all," Kaguya said as she walked inside the restaurant, followed by her butler.
"Uh? What happened, Fujiwara?" He asked in confusion.
"Did you get possessed by a parasite or something?" Chika shouted, "Should we go to the hospital and get you checked?!"
"...What nonsense are you talking about?" Miyuki twitched, "Do I look that different today?"
"You do." Both Hachiman and Ishigami said.
"HUUH? Say something, Fujiwara?"
"Ummm no, well. You look fine." Chika blushed hard and dodged away, slowly, very slowly. "You look very fine tonight, that's all."
Miyuki had prepared for today. He had gotten a very good night's sleep the night before and spared a lot of time to groom himself today. Normally his appearance was messy unkempt hair and dark, tired eyes. He appeared today in top condition. 100% full health bar!
"I'm just going to the bathroom and check real quick," Miyuki said.
"Come on, don't wait for him," Hachiman said.
"Ahh, why does everyone look so good today." Chika mentally screamed, "Hikki-san looks so fierce and handsome, like he's about to eat someone! But President Shirogane is so gentle and princely in comparison!"
That's not to say Ishigami didn't look good, what with his face resembling the famous actor Shou Hirano.
What was with this sudden dive into shoujo romance nonsense?! Who's the lucky protagonist?! It couldn't possibly be Fujiwara Chika, right?! Right?!
"Ooh, no, don't lose yourself in your delusions, Chika!" She hit herself to keep anchored to reality. "This isn't a reverse harem or anything!"
Ishigami, on the other hand, was just dumbfounded.
...
Miyuki looked at the mirror in the bathroom and noticed the dark circles around his eyes were completely gone. "My eyes look so clear and soft!"
This might very well be the best chance for Miyuki to make Shinomiya confess to him! Indeed, under the beautiful sakura trees, if he seduced her right this moment...
Hehehehe...
Meanwhile, Kaguya was shocked. So shocked that her face was completely frozen in a surprised state.
"...that was President Shirogane, correct?" She asked her butler.
"Yes, without a doubt, that was President Shirogane Miyuki." The butler said, "He looks mighty fine today if I must say."
"Was he?" Kaguya asked in disbelief, "He looked so dumb and happy today."
"Happy? Perhaps. But how does he look dumb, again?" The butler sighed.
"It's not the president I know." Kaguya said, "I hate to say it, but I'd rather be looking at Hikigaya-san tonight."
What was with this strange plot twist? The butler looked rather worried.
Kaguya-sama, who has always been at odds with Hikigaya Hachiman, prefers to spend a romantic night under the sakura trees with him? Something isn't right.
This isn't how things were planned to go!
As they managed to reach the balcony, the were were welcomed by the sight of Shuchiin VIPs, many of whom came over to greet Kaguya.
"Good evening, Shinomiya-san. I hope you enjoy the simple party tonight?"
The plain, naive, and almost childish-looking girl who said this was Kashiwagi Nagisa. Not only did her family own a shipbuilding company, but her father was the President of the Trader Federation of Japan. In terms of family prestige, there were few in Shuchiin that came from such a high pedigree.
"This is a small restaurant, but the location is perfect." Kaguya commented with a rather haughty voice, "It can't possibly be her who planned it?"
Kaguya rolled her eyes incredulously at a certain young girl who almost resembled her perfectly except for dark brown hair instead of black. They even shared the same smugness!
"Auntie, please, there's no need for me to be involved in such trivialities."
One could almost imagine lightning crackling between the two angelic maidens with demonic ruby red eyes, with how intense they looked at each other.
"Well, it was Yukino-san who planned everything."
Yukinoshita Yukino, huh?
Even though they worked together for the Charity Event, Kaguya didn't know her all that well. No, more like Kaguya hadn't been bothered to know about her at all.
Kaguya saw Yukino surrounded by high profile men of Shuchiin at the moment.
The son of the Superintendent General of the Metropolitan Police, the son of the Chief of Staff of the JSDF, and even the second Prince of Galdan Al-Rasam.
Compared to them, and Kaguya herself, the Yukinoshita family's wealth and power was tiny. Those men of powerful families had absolute zero hesitation trying to forge a relationship with Yukino.
But that calmness and clarity, with absolute self-control and confidence... it seemed that Yukino had no intention of taking advantage of the situation at all. Yukino kept them at arm's length, literally.
"Don't you two have someone to rescue?" Kaguya asked.
The brown-haired Kaguya-lite noticed.
"Well, it IS Yukino-san we're talking about."
Strange. She had so much faith in someone that, considering Shuchiin standards, would be considered upper average at best. How could Yukino wrap her fingers around two VIP girls just like that? It was beyond Kaguya's comprehension.
But frankly, she could not care less. She was more concerned with the state of President Shirogane at the moment.
"What a lively party we have, isn't that right, Shinomiya?" Miyuki said to her with a glass of non-alcoholic wine between his fingers
Kaguya noticed how well he was handling it considering his destitute background. Since when could Miyuki act so refined? Ah, wait, Kaguya knew that Miyuki and Hachiman both had been trained by the Principal himself to learn how to fit in with high society parties.
But with that kind of face it looked so wrong. It was as if Kaguya didn't know Miyuki anymore.
"I suppose you're right. I'm surprised you managed to prepare this party in such a short time without me knowing."
Could it be said that Miyuki prepared this party just for her, then? That wasn't surprising, that was the least he could do. At least from Kaguya's point of view.
But Miyuki was too prideful to admit that.
Kaguya wasn't the only one feeling restless as they chatted.
Kaguya normally would look rather lively, with a myriad unsubtle expressions on her face. Yet today, she looked so cool and composed.
Too composed.
Miyuki wondered if Hachiman and the others were simply taking the piss out of him today by praising his appearance.
It was almost like Kaguya didn't want to be here with him tonight!
It reminded them of the first time they had met.
"It's almost one year since then." Kaguya suddenly said, reminiscing.
"Almost one year..." Miyuki mumbled, "...wait, you remember?"
やはり, 彼らが望む告白は間違っている.
As expected, the Confession they want is wrong
Original Story by: Watari Wataru and Akasaka Aka
Written by: ZeroXSEED, Co-Writer/Editor: GoukaRyuu
Chapter 17 - Rememberance Part. 1
Those with strong convictions aren't easily swayed.
Those words rang loudly in the depths of Shirogane Miyuki's mind. Those words were said by the former President of the Student Council.
It was April last year, that Miyuki enrolled in the Shuchiin Academy High School division. One week had passed and Miyuki had only made one friend at school.
That was Hikigaya Hachiman himself.
The President of the Student Council approached them both, asking for their opinion and help. It was about the bridge between the students of Shuchiin and the rest of society.
Before he knew it, Miyuki was already part of the scheme, but Hachiman, wary as he always was, bluntly refused.
It could be said that, back then, Shirogane Miyuki had no conviction in comparison to Hachiman, who was awkward, scared, yet strangely also firm on his position no matter what.
It was then, that time in April, they went to a certain famous place on Shuchiin High's grounds.
The Bloodpool Swamp.
It was said that a warlord's head resided underneath. It was one of the horrors and mysterious stories in the long history of Shuchiin Academy.
"Just help me out this time." President begged, "The water pipe had been clogged up for years at this point, and the water is unsanitary due to algae. So we've called some people to service it, but we'd have to clean it up a little before they came."
"There are a couple of volunteers helping out, but we'll have to do some dirty work ourselves in the end."
Miyuki ended up having to scoop up the moss and algae from the water and put it in a trash bag.
"HIEEE, THERE'S A BAT'S SKULL IN THE WATER!"
That was the catalyst, the first chain of the incident that started it all. Panicking caused one of the girls to fall into the swamp, and due to the extreme thickness of algae and outgrowing roots, the girl was tangled up and unable to swim.
Miyuki wanted to help, if only he could swim. But as someone who was more like a sinking rock, he'd just exacerbate the problem.
Her life was threatened and yet...
"Should we go in?!"
"Is it even safe to get into that pond?"
"What if we get sick?!"
The other students were too concerned with themselves to care and help. That was when Miyuki understood the sheer level of detachment the average Shuchiin elite had from their sense of humanity...
Someone please, help her!
Kaguya, who was nearby, answered that prayer and jumped into the swamp without even flinching, with a rope attached to her back.
Miyuki understood one thing.
It doesn't matter if you're a prodigy, born into a rich family. All that matters is that you take action. Miyuki immediately pulled the rope with all his strength. Even when his hands were in pain, he kept pulling it.
Kaguya surfaced with the girl who had fallen in, a girl with glasses who would later become President of the Mass Media Club. They were both coughing.
"GET MY HAND!" He screamed and Kaguya, who seemed surprised, reached for his hand to be pulled out of the water. Kaguya also helped Miyuki to lift the girl out too.
All seemed to have gone well, only for Miyuki to suddenly lose his footing, due to the algae falling from Kaguya, and fall into the swamp himself only moments after he had managed to save them.
Why would Miyuki do it?
He didn't know. It wasn't needed. He could've waited for others to take action. If others pulled the rope attached to Kaguya a bit later, it would have still been fine.
He wasn't needed, it was a problem of his own making. And now he was sinking, likely without anyone to help.
But Miyuki had no regrets.
He could vaguely see the presence of another person moments later, but before he could react, his collar was yanked up so fast that they were out of the water by the time his consciousness fully returned.
"What am I going to do without you, stupid!" Hachiman called him out, "Just say so if you can't swim!"
There was an expression of shock and amusement in Kaguya's eyes, Miyuki would never forget it. "You don't know how to swim? And still tried desperately to help? How cute."
"Yeah, you got a problem with that?!" Miyuki was so mad and embarrassed he ended up yelling at her. There was no sign of meekness or fear in his voice.
Hachiman didn't waste much time, when everyone was still too distracted, and left the scene in a hurry so he could change his clothes.
It was the moment that their threads of fate tangled together.
...
And so, they both returned to the present.
"By any chance, can you swim now, President?" Kaguya asked him teasingly.
Miyuki wryly smiled back in response, "Yes, and I'm very confident about it too."
It was partly thanks to Hachiman and his spartan training during summer vacation, not that Miyuki would tell Kaguya that.
That's right.
Looking at each other now, the soft Shirogane and cool Shinomiya, this was exactly how they physically looked the first time they met.
They had changed so much as people that they almost forgot about it, their first meeting. Compared to them, Hikigaya Hachiman hadn't changed much at all.
"Ah, President?!"
"Whoa, it is him!"
Before they knew it, Miyuki was surrounded by boys and girls, mainly girls, and they looked rather amazed... enthralled even. It was clear that Miyuki's restored appearance appealed to them so much more than his tense, dark look.
...THIS IS NOT FINE!
"So many locusts with garbage taste." Kaguya mentally screamed in anguish, "Get away from President!"
"Shinomiya looks even colder than before! Get away from me, you fools!"
Miyuki also mentally screamed
"Someone help me!"
If they were to scream, their voices would be in complete sync.
The young butler of the Shinomiya family realized this and was about to intervene, despite sitting away from the crowd all this time. However, someone grabbed his shoulder and stopped him.
It was none other than Hikigaya Hachiman himself.
"I know it's you, Hayasaka." He said.
Ah.
Crap.
Hayasaka was confident in her disguises. So confident that she had fooled everyone else, including the best friend of Kaguya herself, that she was a butler, not a maid.
To avoid complications with everyone's friends and acquaintances, Kaguya and Hayasaka more or less kept themselves distant from each other at school. Aside from odd times where Hayasaka needed to follow Kaguya's whims, they rarely interacted with each other in public.
At school, Hayasaka Ai assumed her super-gal mode. This butler persona was one she had honed and trained for years, Hayasaka was confident that no one would be able to see through it.
Yet this person here, Hikigaya Hachiman, saw through it and shred it apart in barely an hour.
It was a disguise that Hayasaka would use whenever she was involved with Fujiwara Chika, the only best friend of Kaguya. Hayasaka thought that using her boy butler disguise, and by not drawing attention, she could fool even him.
She had been made the fool instead.
"I don't know what you're talking about?" Hayasaka asked with a well trained, deep, boyish voice.
"Perhaps I should tell people about that one time you tried to seduce me in my apartment-" Hachiman mused, clearly threatening her.
Hayasaka panicked and clamped his mouth shut with her hand, her face completely beet red.
"For your safety, I suggest you don't say anything." Hayasaka sneakily put a taser to his stomach.
Hachiman wasn't phased by her counter-threat and grabbed her wrist, which made her flinch from pain. He was stronger than he looked. It must be all the parkour he did.
Hikigaya Hachiman looked lean, but had a mean body!
But more than just that, Hachiman also put the tip of his retractable stun baton under her chin, his thumb sitting on the switch.
"I'm a proponent of gender equality, so I'm not above being violent with girls too."
Of course. Hayasaka knew. The fact that Hachiman would beat Chika and Momo with slippers in broad daylight was known through all of Shuchiin!
"Alright then, let's talk, Hikigaya-san."
"Follow me."
And so they slipped away from the party when everyone wasn't looking and walked alongside the road, hidden from the view of people on the restaurant's balcony.
"I knew something wasn't right when you showed up back then." Hachiman said, "What's with that vapid boy toy appearance?"
"At school, I distance myself from Kaguya-sama for various reasons, but mainly to avoid complications in social relationships." Hayasaka said as she removed her black wig, "This is a disguise I use to fool Fujiwara Chika-san whenever she comes to visit the Shinomiya House."
"The truth is that I'm Shinomiya Kaguya-sama's valet, Hayasaka Ai. My family had served the Shinomiyas for generations and I'm not an exception to that tradition."
"Is that so? No wonder you two had the same vibe." Hachiman scoffed, "Let me get straight to the question then, are you the one who keeps sending people to stalk me?"
"I'm not sure what you're talking about."
Hachiman brought up on his phone the picture of the detective that he and Momo caught at gunpoint.
"I'm not familiar with him."
"Are you sure? We caught him after the school closing ceremony."
"The one time I stalked you was during that encounter in front of the hotel, and I did it myself. We stopped following you after I managed to sneak into your house and try to find your weakness. After that, the order to investigate you was recalled, so believe me, he had nothing to do with us."
Hachiman looked very hurt, and for whatever reason, Hayasaka felt stung by that gaze.
Hachiman, of course, didn't accept her words at face value. Still, he decided to consider the other possibility. He wasn't that close-minded.
Let's just say Hayasaka was being honest and stopped stalking me after the incident at the apartment. What else has happened?
Right, Hachiman was so restless that he didn't get to sleep much and ended up finishing his council work overnight. After that he fell asleep in the council room, then he got roped by Chika into giving her a ride home.
And then... he was forced to attend a dinner with Chika's father, the Minister of the Left, Fujiwara Daichi.
And the day after that? The incident with the private detective happened.
It was just that the prior encounter with Hayasaka muddled the whole thing, so Hachiman didn't immediately realize it.
"Ah, so it was the overprotective asshole who sent the poor sod," Hachiman mumbled. It's not like Hachiman had never heard about how strict he was with his daughter, he heard it as much straight from Fujiwara Chika herself.
It was a warning so that Hachiman would not get too close with Chika, especially in a romantic sense. It wouldn't be above that guy to send a spy just to snoop on Hachiman and his family. Now, everything made sense!
"Pardon?" Hayasaka tilted her head aside, confused.
"Final question then, who ordered you to sneak on me?"
"Kaguya-sama did."
"Shit, really?"
Forgive me, Kaguya-sama. Hayasaka would easily lie to anyone else, but to this person, it was simply impossible to hide even a tenth of the truth. He would find out, and it'd make things worse in the long run.
Hopefully, Hachiman, too, realized that Hayasaka ratting her mistress out like this was enough proof for truthfulness.
"Yes." Hayasaka said, "Because you kept intervening with her plans to I quote, 'make President confess his love to me'. That you always get in her way to make President hers is why Kaguya-sama resents you so much."
"Shinomiya might be dumber than I thought, in that case." Hachiman gagged, "What plans? Their mind games are so fucking stupid that sometimes I don't even realize what they're doing. Can you blame me for tripping up all the wrong switches in the process?"
"To be honest, no." Hayasaka could fully agree with him on that, "People say love makes you stupid, right?"
"If Shinomiya thinks I'm that intrusive, then maybe she should say it to my face."
"But if she tells you that, it means she'd have to give up on her pride and admit her attraction to President Shirogane." Hayasaka flatly argued, "That will never happen."
"Those two are peas in a pod. Prideful bastards." Hachiman sighed, "You know, I'm being charitable today and I'll believe you. Still, I can't promise anything about Shinomiya and her schemes."
"Then in the future, I'll make sure you don't interfere," Hayasaka said with determination, as she fixed her wig into place again and assumed her butler persona. "Hikigaya-san."
"Suit yourself then." Hachiman laughed, "No matter what form you take, I'll recognize you without fail."
Hayasaka felt blood rushing through her veins as her heart rate elevated dangerously. "Wha?!"
"I wonder what schemes she's cooking up at the moment," Hachiman muttered.
Hayasaka panicked in realization and ran, remembering the situation when she left. Kaguya must been very, very pissed at her right now.
"Why are you running?" Hachiman asked, while nonchalantly keeping up.
"I'll be in trouble!"
Hayasaka, without fail, somehow began climbing the restaurant from the bottom up. Hachiman wondered why, but followed and ninja-hopped his way to the top after the fake butler, albeit with far greater difficulty.
Hayasaka must be far more athletic and well trained than I thought. Maybe comparable to Momo, if not more.
Once they reached the top they peered over the balcony and were greeted with the image of Miyuki almost overwhelmed by the attention of several students, mainly girls, while Kaguya stuck out as a wallflower, fuming.
"Well well well... looks like someone is in a pinch," Hachiman remarked and then threw a 100 yen coin at Hayasaka. "Use that."
Hayasaka understood what he meant and flicked the coin to hit a bottle of non-alcoholic wine, causing it to spill on the table and floor and stop everyone from buzzing around Miyuki in a momentary state of panic.
Hachiman signaled Miyuki to bail out at the moment and he agreed to sneak away.
"What the hell, that was so messed up!" Miyuki almost cried making his way to the tables, and Kaguya, Hachiman, and Hayasaka.
"That must be tiresome for you to deal with them." Kaguya huffed, "But I guess it's fine if you're happy with that, now that you're super popular."
Miyuki stiffened, wondering if Kaguya was jealous. "Shinomiya, I..."
The one Miyuki wanted to be popular with is...
"If only we had some eyeliner..."Hachiman mumbled and rolled his eyes at the disguised girl.
Hayasaka pulled something out from behind her vest and gave it to Hachiman. Hachiman opened it and noticed that it was a compact set of makeup, with foundation, powder, eyeliner and so on, but in small portions easily carried in a pocket. No, it's not just compact powder or lipstick for emergency use that women typically carry, it was an entire, full set of makeup in a box roughly twice the size of a pencil case.
After all, she wouldn't be Kaguya's valet without at least that much preparation. Especially since she might need them to change her disguise.
"Miyuki, come with me for a bit," Hachiman called him and dragged him to the bathroom.
"What are you-"
"Be quiet." Hachiman grinned manically, "I'll show you what I've learned in the disgustingly fake entertainment industry."
When Miyuki returned, his eyes were no longer soft and gentle, though not to the point of a blackened mess like before.
Instead, it was an extremely sharp and piercing gaze, something that struck Kaguya right in the heart and made her agape!
It didn't deter the rest of the party-goers too much, but they were left wondering what happened with Shirogane Miyuki. It didn't make him uglier, on the contrary, he was as handsome as he was before, just nowhere near as friendly-looking.
They were like the eyes of a hunting eagle, ready to catch its prey.
"Sorry, I washed my face a bit this is how it ends up."
"Heh, so it was makeup." The others would assume, even though Kaguya knew the truth that in fact these eagle eyes of his were THE real makeup.
Shirogane Miyuki was a liar through and through, and Hikigaya Hachiman wouldn't have it any other way. After all, best friends know each other, faults and all, and accept them still.
Hachiman left back to their cover and gave the makeup set back to Hayasaka, "Intervening this much, it's fine right, butler boy?"
It was so simple, if only Hayasaka would see things both ways, she wouldn't be left in so much trouble. Because she only saw it through Kaguya's eyes, blindly following her orders no matter how stupid, and unwilling to see from Shirogane Miyuki's point-of-view.
Hachiman was different, he understood Miyuki as much as he understood Kaguya.
"Rather than non-interference, wouldn't it be better if you help me set them up?"
Hayasaka couldn't be the only one who was tired of their mind games, right?
"It's a deal." Hachiman agreed and offered a handshake, which Hayasaka accepted happily.
She then pulled him closer and kissed his cheek.
"What the..."
"See you later at school, Hikigaya-san." Hayasaka waved and run back to the balcony.
"What the hell was that?" Hachiman wondered aloud. But still, being kissed like that was nice, so he unintentionally enjoyed it, blushing.
Unfortunately, the timing couldn't possibly have been worse, as he turned around to see Chika having a nosebleed, a shocked Ishigami, and a disappointed Momo.
"I never knew you swung both ways, but I guess that explains everything," Momo told him.
"Excuse me, I need to go to the bathroom." Chika looked anywhere but at Hachiman before turning and scurrying off fast.
"Umm, I won't judge you, don't worry." Ishigami finally mustered enough courage to speak.
"FUCK YOU HAYASAKA!" Hachiman screamed.
Hayasaka faintly heard it but dismissed it as a hallucination as she, in her butler disguise, kept watching over her master, who was flirting endlessly with the president until the party ended.
...
The result of Today's battle: Hikigaya Hachiman's loss.
* Generally refer to very young, rookie Yakuza member.
** roughly 35 MPG