The Wish of a Lifetime! (No substitutions, exceptions, or refunds)
Our four heroes trekked through a desert forest of forty feet tall, pale-ish pink mushrooms. These mushrooms thankfully blocked out the baking heat of the sun. Using Yamcha's hovercar, they were making good time to the location of the final Dragon Ball and, Bulma thought, to a magic backpack that would never run out of puppies.
"So," Bulma began as she sidled up to Yamcha while Goku slept in the back seat. "What did you want the Dragon Balls for?" She had to admit that there was something about Yamcha that she liked. He was tall and strong and a little bit dangerous. Not her perfect boyfriend, of course, but he was cute. He grew visibly nervous when she got close to him though. Maybe he was just shy.
"Well," Yamcha started to say but he stopped and stared at Bulma until she scooched back, "I've always kind of had an issue with women." He went on to explain, "Not, like, on a personal level or anything. I don't dislike them, that's not what I meant. I just can't talk to them. I freeze up and panic. And I kind of was hoping that the Eternal Dragon could, y'know, wish that away." There was a moment of silence before Bulma grinned.
"Y'know," she pointed out, "I'm a girl. And you're talking to me." Yamcha blushed as she grinned wider, finger-walking up his arm. "Maybe it was all just in your head." Yamcha nearly swerved into a mushroom when she did that and Bulma screamed as Yamcha steered them back straight. Goku never noticed, snoring her head off. Yamcha cleared his throat as Bulma straightened out her hair, wanting to change the subject.
"S-so what were you gonna wish for?" he asked and Bulma looked awkwardly out the window, gazing at the forest. "Bulma?" he prodded, wondering if she'd heard him.
"I told Goku that if she'd help me, I'd use the wish to bring her grandfather back to life," she muttered while still looking out the window. Yamcha smiled and nodded. He hadn't expected something that selfless.
"Wow," he said in a pleasantly surprised tone, "That's really nice. It's great that you'd give up your wish to hel-" Yamcha noticed that she hadn't looked back at him yet. "You're kidding," he muttered. There was no way. No one could be that evil. "You have got to be kidding." Bulma's fingernails dug angrily into the doorframe as Yamcha laughed despite himself. "That is the worst thing I've ever heard!" Bulma spun around, her face red with indignation.
"Oh, come on!" she protested. Who the hell did this desert hobo think he was to judge her, anyway? "I'm not doing anything that bad! Didn't I take her out to see the world? Show her what a big and exciting place it was?" What, was she getting lectured by criminals now? Yamcha raised an incredulous eyebrow.
"And what happens after you wish for whatever it is you really want, huh?" he asked. "Are you gonna take her in and help her see more of the world after you've ripped her miles away from her home? Or are you just gonna strand a little girl out in the middle of nowhere?" He laughed again, rubbing his face with the hand not on the steering wheel. "Lady, I am a desert bandit. I rob people at swordpoint. I take their food, water, capsules, money, everything and leave them for dead in the middle of nowhere. You manipulated a naïve little girl to be your bodyguard by using the memory and love of her dead grandfather as leverage," he leveled an accusing finger at her face, "You are the worst person I have ever met."
OoOoOoO
As they argued, Mai watched the car travel from atop a mushroom. She laid on her stomach as she adjusted her binoculars. To think that somehow these children had taken most of the Dragon Balls when all the power and influence of her Great Emperor could not. It was infuriating. She reached for her communicator and radioed Shu.
"Move in," she told him brusquely and hung up before he could reply. She couldn't stand that ridiculous dog and his ninja outfit. She still didn't understand why her Pilaf would not let her pilot the Pilaf Machine.
OoOoOoO
"And another thing!" Bulma screamed, wagging a finger in Yamcha's face. Somehow, Goku had slept through all of this. "You don't- Look out!" Bulma cried, seeing something out of the corner of her eye. Yamcha saw it too and slammed on the brakes as he swerved to the side. Standing in the middle of the road was a robot on four legs with a glass bubble on the front, a gun on one arm, and a three-pincer hand on the other.
"Hello!" came a voice from inside the robot. "I'm Shu." Far away, Mai face-palmed. "Could you please hand over your Dragon Balls?" Before Yamcha could do anything, such as wake Goku the Bulletproof Child, Bulma stuck her head out the passenger side window while shaking a fist at Shu.
"Hell no!" she screamed as she flipped him the bird. "Who the hell do you think you are, coming out of nowhere and asking for my Dragon Balls?!" Yamcha face-palmed before he turned around and went to shake Goku awake. No sooner had he done that then Shu fired the machine's gun. A laser gun. Bulma shrieked as the beam barely missed her. Yamcha grabbed Bulma around the middle and Goku by the tail before jumping out of the car with both of them while Puar flew out an open window. Shu grabbed the car in his claw-hand and shook it violently until the briefcase fell out.
"The Dragon Balls have to be in there!" Mai said to Shu's through the radio. "Grab them now!" Shu pushed some buttons dutifully, dropping the car and picking up the briefcase.
"Bye!" he said with a wave before flying off, powered by a rocket in the underside of the machine. Goku grumbled groggily as she rubbed sleep out of her eyes. Sleep and sand. The sound of the laser and getting her tail grabbed had quickly woken her up.
"What's going on?" she muttered, only to be greeted by an angry, red-faced Bulma.
"What's going on is that he's stealing our Dragon Balls!" she screamed while pointing at the sky. "Go get him!" Goku couldn't let whoever "he" was run off with the Balls! She had to get her Grandpa back!
"Nimbus!" Goku called as she hopped up to her feet. The yellow cloud dropped out of the sky and landed by Goku's side. She hopped onto it and pointed towards the sky with her Power Pole drawn. "Let's go!" she commanded and the cloud took off in a blur. Goku raced across the sky, looking for any sign of someone weird who might have stolen the Dragon Balls. She spotted someone down on the ground and had Nimbus divebomb to check it out. It was a weird metal monster that was lying on the ground. She whacked it with her staff a few times in anger. "Gimme back the Dragon Balls!" she demanded but the creature gave no reply. Saddened, Goku climbed back on Nimbus and flew back towards the group. "I'm sorry, Bulma," she said when she landed, "but I couldn't find the-" she stopped as her hand fell to her hip and the small bag tied to her belt. "Oh, wait!" she exclaimed before untying the belt and holding it up. "I still have Grandpa's ball!" Bulma instantly switched from melancholic to gleeful.
"That's great!" she cried out. "So we can still get our wish! Now I'll just get the Dragon Radar and-" She stopped, eyes growing wide. Yamcha leaned forward, hands at his hips.
"And? And?" he asked angrily. Bulma muttered something and Yamcha leaned in further. "Gonna need you to speak up, princess," he quipped. Bulma sank to her knees and cried. She threw her head back as tears welled up in her eyes.
"I left our capsules in the briefcaaaaaaase!" she wailed. Yamcha ran his hands through his hair before throwing them up in the sky in exasperation. What was wrong with this girl?
"Are you serious?!" he asked in exasperation. "You just put all our valuable shit in one case? Who even does that?!" Bulma looked up at him angrily through her tears.
"Well," she retorted with a sniffle, "I figured my two brave warriors would protect me from getting robbed!" Yamcha rolled his eyes.
"Forget getting robbed!" he snapped. "What if the case fell off a cliff or into a lake or there was a fire or something?!" They descended into screaming at each other again before a single word cut through the cacophony.
"Guys?" Goku said softly and the pair came to a stop to look at her. "Yelling at each other isn't going to get the Dragon Balls back," she pointed out. They sighed in unison and Yamcha helped Bulma back to her feet. Bulma dried her eyes and took a deep breath before they all got back in the mostly intact hovercar.
"All right," Bulma said as she went to strap on her seatbelt but the laser gun had melted the buckle off. Ah, well. "How do we find them?" Yamcha reached into the glove compartment and took out a pair of binoculars. He adjusted the focus as he looked into them.
"Just a suggestion," he said as he pointed towards the horizon. "We could try the castle?" Standing ominously in the distance was an enormous castle. The kind a supervillain who has robot suits at his disposal might use. Bulma shrugged and Yamcha started up the hovercar. He slammed on the gas pedal and they took off at full speed.
OoOoOoO
"'Hi, my name is Shu'?!" Mai shrieked down at the little dog ninja who cowered under her fury as he tucked his ears over his eyes. "What is wrong with you?!"
"I was trying to be polite," he offered meekly. Mai rubbed the bridge of her nose between two fingers and groaned.
"You don't have to be polite!" she scolded. "You were robbing them!" Behind them, Emperor Pilaf had climbed into a chair in front of a table upon which the briefcase sat. Literally climbed because of his short legs.
"Quit your squabbling!" he commanded which caused his minions to fall silent. With a grin, he produced his universal key and undid the locks on the briefcase. He placed his Dragon Ball with the others as his grin grew ever wider. His throne was so close he could almost taste it. He counted them off with almost childlike glee. "One, two, three, four, five, six, sev…" Pilaf trailed off. Where was the seventh Dragon Ball? Where was it? Pilaf turned the briefcase upside down, shaking it as the Balls and several capsules spilled all over the table. "Where is it?!" he shrieked before throwing the briefcase against the wall. He slammed his head against the table and threw a bonafide tantrum. Mai's heart broke for the suffering of her glorious leader until she was distracted by a pinging sound from one of their machines.
"Sir?" she called out as she inspected the machine. Then she yelled to be heard over Pilaf's tantrum. "Sir!" He stopped and looked over at her. "Our scanners are showing that the final Ball is headed this way." Pilaf ran over to the console to get a better look. With a glare, he made Shu bend over so he could use the underling as a stepladder. When he heard the sharp ping and saw the single yellow dot moving closer, Pilaf cackled and clapped his hands.
"Excellent!" he cried out in jubilation. Then, with a sinister look, he said, "Then we must make our guests feel welcomed."
OoOoOoO
The four wandered through the eerie halls of the castle; three walking, one floating. Bulma looked around suspiciously. Everything about this place seemed wrong. It felt so old and yet she could practically feel the electricity humming under her feet. Every bandit instinct in Yamcha's head was firing off. Nothing about this place seemed right. It was just too easy. Puar stuck close behind his master, scared out of his wits. But for Goku it was just another part of the adventure. She had never seen a castle before! Well, one that wasn't on fire, anyway.
"So where do we go?" Bulma muttered, the words bouncing off the stone walls. Without the Dragon Radar, she was hopelessly lost. If this Shu character or his stupid friends had smashed her Radar….
"Hey!" Goku shouted excitedly as she pointed to an arrow on the floor. "I found a clue!" She ran down the hallway it pointed towards without a second thought.
"Goku, wait!" the three cried in unison as they tore after her. What was she thinking? Nothing, Bulma figured. When did the weird little monkey ever think? They chased her until they came to a dead-end hallway. Goku was already looking around and was very confused. Why did the arrow even lead her here if there was no prize? Bulma had just a split-second to realize that they'd walked into a trap before a steel wall slammed shut behind them, sealing them in. Bulma slowly opened her mouth and raised a finger to deliver an almighty rant. The crackle of static cut her off as she took her first breath and they all spun their heads around to stare at a video screen that emerged from one of the walls. The screen showed nothing but an ominous pair of glowing red eyes.
"Attention, peons!" came a deeply distorted voice. "I am the Great Emperor Pilaf! Surrender your last Dragon Ball to me or die!" Clearly this was whoever that Shu guy worked for.
"Screw you!" Bulma screamed before looking around the room for something to bash the screen with.
"Let us go, you stupid castle!" Goku shouted at the box while waving her staff. There was a long pause after that before the voice spoke again.
"Right…" the voice said awkwardly. "Obviously, you're the brains of the outfit," the voice continued as a person-sized panel in the ceiling slowly slid open and a claw came out to grab Bulma and drag her away. Yamcha grabbed her but she was pulled out of his grip. Bulma emerged in another room in the castle and stared in confusion at the bizarre trio in front of her. A dog ninja, a regular looking woman, and a goblin midget in a clown hat, a frilly collar, and pointed booties?
"Who the heck are you?" Bulma asked incredulously. This whole thing almost felt like a joke. These were the bad guys? The woman's face was red as she pushed her way to the front of the pack.
"How dare you?!" she snapped as she got in Bulma's face. "You stand before the mighty Emperor Pilaf and you will show him the proper respect!" Bulma wiped the spit off her face with one hand as the other hand desperately tried to pull apart the claw's grip on her. Pilaf held up a hand and Mai stepped away meekly.
"That's quite alright, Mai," Pilaf assured her in a much higher voice than before. "Our young friend will know my name well soon enough. So will all the people of the world, once I am king." He turned his attention towards Bulma and his look made her skin crawl. "But first, you will tell me where you are hiding the last Dragon Ball." Bulma squirmed in her confinement and kicked her legs desperately.
"Kiss my ass!" she snapped while giving Pilaf the most defiant middle finger she could muster. The positively lecherous look Pilaf gave her was more than a little unnerving.
"I see then," he chortled. "You really will have to be humiliated, won't you?" A panic set in on Bulma as she tried even more feverishly to escape. "You leave me no choice!" he stepped in closer while Bulma turned her face away in disgust as Pilaf… blew her a kiss. Mai and Shu turned away and blushed. Bulma just stared in confusion.
"What?" she asked flatly. Pilaf turned his head to one side with a confused look on his face as well.
"What?" he asked right back. Bulma blinked.
"I thought you were gonna try to… y'know…" Bulma made the appropriate hand gestures and Pilaf balked.
"How dare you?" he asked. "That's despicable!" And surprisingly, Bulma got offended.
"What?" she demanded with a scowl. "Am I not pretty enough to be ravished or something?" Pilaf shuddered and pushed a button on his console as Bulma continued to complain. "Not like a creepy little troll like you has a right to be picky anyway, ya little freak!" Her protests were muffled as the claw carried her away and Pilaf gave another shudder. Bulma was dumped unceremoniously back into the hallway and she crossed her arms with a huff.
"I'm not going to deal with those repulsive creatures," Pilaf muttered to himself as he pushed some buttons on his console. "The nerve of that girl! It's the gas for them!" he cried melodramatically. After a moment's pause, he clarified with "The sleeping gas, of course. No need to make a mess." With the final push of a button, he threw back his head and laughed.
They wandered into the room that the four now unconscious travellers were being kept in and Pilaf ran into the room without a gas mask. He found the little bag on Goku's hip and pulled out the Four Star Ball with a maniacal laugh. "It's mine!" he cried out. "Mine, mine, mi-" he then fell on his face, completely unconscious. Shu and Mai, both wearing gas masks, collected him.
OoOoOoO
Goku woke up several hours later. Her head felt funny and the whole world swam when she sat up. "Guys?" she asked in a shaky voice. The other sat up as she spoke and were all holding their heads.
"What happened?" Yamcha asked drowsily. He tried to stand but fell immediately back down. Goku patted the pouch on her hip and her eyes bulged when it gave way.
"My Dragon Ball!" she cried out in distress. "They took my Dragon Ball!" That filled her with an alert energy and she hopped to her feet to frantically look for an escape.
"It's no use," Yamcha muttered glumly while staring helplessly at the floor. "They had to have already used the wish by now." At this point Bulma interjected.
"Well," she said, "considering the fact that we don't think Pilaf is the king of the world, maybe not." Goku's ears twitched. She could barely hear something so she pressed her ear to the wall to listen closer. "Goku, what are you doing?" Bulma asked. "That's solid concrete, you can't-"
"Shhhh!" Goku hissed, cutting her off. "I can hear them!" she exclaimed. "They're going to try and summon the dragon." Goku hopped back and clasped her hands at her side. "Ka… me… ha… me… ha!" Yamcha's eyes went wide in shock as a burst of blue light tore a small hole in the wall. Goku groaned at the lack of destruction. If only she were as strong as Muten Roshi! She collapsed onto her rear end, her energy drained. Yamcha, Bulma, and Puar peered through the hole. It was late in the evening so they must have been out for a while.
"Eternal Dragon Shenron!" they heard Pilaf cry out and a panic washed over them all. "I summon you!" Black stormclouds filled up the sky and lightning flashed between them. A brilliant beam of yellow light shot up from the ground. Yamcha looked at Puar suddenly.
"Puar!" he said and squeezed the floating cat. "Can you turn into a rocket?" Puar nodded vigorously, half from fear and half from an enthusiasm to not let his master down.
"Y-yeah! I think so!" he promised before Yamcha threw him through the hole as hard as he could.
"Go! Go! Wish for something! Anything!" he commanded desperately and Puar sailed through the air before poofing into a small rocket with a cat face and blasting off. No sooner had he disappeared then a clap of thunder was heard, almost deafeningly loud. The beam of light transformed into an enormous dragon that filled up the sky! It looked down with glowing red eyes and its mouth, full of sharp teeth, agape.
"You who have gathered the seven Dragon Balls," spoke the dragon in a voice so deep it shook the heavens, "State your wish and I shall grant it." There was an eternally long pause before the dragon spoke again. "... Very well." it said in an almost perplexed tone. Its eyes flashed and it spoke again. "It is done." Then the dragon disappeared into light again and the seven balls spun up into the sky and scattered in all directions.
There was a long period of silence. Had they done it? Was Puar fast enough? Or was Emperor Pilaf now the ruler of the world? The answer to those questions would come a few seconds later when Puar came screaming back into the prison still in his rocket form.
"I did it! I did it!" he yelled out, spinning around in the air as he turned back into his floating cat self. Yamcha grinned and held out his hand for Puar to give him a tiny high five.
"Nice job, dude!" Yamcha said proudly. "So what'd you wish for?" Puar smiled wide and stuck out his tongue. It filled the room with brightly-colored lights and was all the colors of the rainbow. "...huh?" Was all Yamcha could say.
"I wished to taste the rainbow. I was on the spot!" Puar said somewhat defensively. Yamcha laughed and Bulma rolled her eyes with her hands on her hips.
"That's great and all," she said sardonically. "But we're still trapped in here!" she grabbed Goku by the waist and yanked her up to her feet to look at the hole she'd made. "Come on, buddy!" she urged. "Pew, pew!" she shook Goku almost violently, as if the energy blast were ketchup stuck at the bottom of a bottle.
"Lemme go!" Goku protested and shoved Bulma away. She was tired! Why was Bulma shaking her so much? They'd stopped Pilaf, hadn't they? She'd seen the Dragon Balls fly away. That made her a little sad. Now her Dragon Ball was gone. Her Grandpa's Dragon Ball! How was she supposed to get it back while she was stuck in here? Suddenly furious, Goku gritted her teeth and thrust her palms forward, full of renewed power. "Kamehameha!" she cried out, and the blue energy that shot from her hands burned an even bigger hole into the wall. But now she was exhausted.
"Let's go, let's go!" Yamcha muttered with nervous energy. They had to have seen that blast from outside so they were definitely low on time. He grabbed Goku around the middle and shoved her through the hole then he let Bulma climb out next before he got out with Puar trailing behind. He picked up Goku and threw her over his shoulder. "We gotta find a plane or something!" he said as they ran, looking for any way to escape. There was a problem. "Dang it, Puar, close your mouth!" The cat's bright, flashing tongue was a great big neon "WE ESCAPED" sign that followed them with every step.
"Master!" they heard Shu cry off in the night. "I found them!" That was bad.
"Release the hounds!" Pilaf screamed with fury. That was worse. First there was the sound and soon enough they could see the flash of white teeth in the darkness as a pack of angry attack dogs chased after them. Bulma shrieked and jumped onto Yamcha's back. Yamcha gave a grunt when she climbed on top of him before Puar suddenly flew into his shirt to hide. Before he knew it, Yamcha was suddenly carrying the entire group.
"Faster!" Bulma shrieked while pulling on his hair. "Faster!" Which would have been easy, Yamcha thought, if he wasn't carrying so much extra weight. Puar popped out of the shirt to look over Yamcha's shoulder and open his mouth, blinding the dogs with magnificent technicolor light. Yamcha took that momentary reprieve to run into a building that he prayed would be a hangar of some kind. It was when he looked up at the glass ceiling that he realized this may have been yet another trap.
"Congratulations, peons!" came Pilaf's sarcastic voice from a speaker somewhere they couldn't see. "You managed to foil my plans. I'm sure you're all feeling pretty good about yourselves, hmmm?" When Pilaf spoke again, his voice was boiling with rage. "Well too bad! Because you're never getting out of this one! When the sun rises tomorrow, that glass will act as a magnifying lens and burn you all alive! This is the price of those who would stand against the mighty Pilaf Empire!" He cackled until the sound suddenly cut.
"He seemed pretty cranky," Goku said as Bulma slid onto the ground and wailed. This wasn't fair! She was too pretty to die! Pretty and young and rich! It wasn't fair! Yamcha kicked and punched at the walls to no avail. Puar tried turning into a drill and spinning their way out but that was just as useless. "I'm hungry," Goku muttered to herself before sitting down on the ground. Eventually, they all sat together in a little circle in the center of the room. Yamcha's knuckles were bruised and his wrists and ankles were sore. Puar was extremely dizzy. Bulma was just depressed.
"I'm sorry you couldn't get your grandpa back, Goku," Yamcha said sympathetically while mussing up her hair. Goku smiled up at Yamcha and gave a shrug.
"That's okay," she assured them. "At least I got to go on a real adventure. And I made new friends!" Yamcha and Bulma smiled at that although Bulma's smile was a little guilty. Puar looked up at the night sky and watched the clouds part.
"Hey!" he shouted. Every time he opened his mouth, there was a flash of light. "There's a full moon!" Yamcha and Bulma looked up at the full moon as Goku's ears perked up.
"I've never seen a full moon," she said, running her fingers in a circle on the stone floor. "Grandpa always made me go to bed before the moon came out. He said that's when the monster came. I think that was the same monster that killed him because I remember there was a full moon that night." Yamcha and Bulma looked at each other with fear in their eyes. It was just a coincidence, right? There was no way. Even so…
"H-h-hey, Goku?" Bulma said nervously. "Could yoooooouuu, maybe… not look at the moon for me?" But of course, because she'd mentioned it, Goku turned around. The other three froze in fear… but nothing happened.
OoOoOoO
Goku stared at the full moon for the very first time in her life. She was surprised by just how big it was and, with all the stars around it, she couldn't imagine why a monster would come out on nights when there was something so pretty to look at. Why did that monster kill her grandpa when it could have just been looking at the moon?
As she continued to stare at the moon, her eyes widening to take in more of it, Goku felt something strange happen. It was like a wall near her tail had broken and her body was flooded with… something. Whatever it was, it made her feel strong. She felt strong before but it was nothing like this. This was something far greater and… deeper than her usual strength. She didn't know what it was but it felt right and she idly wondered why her grandpa wouldn't want this.
She felt more changes happen and it felt like she was going to catch fire and explode from all this… something inside her but she couldn't take her eyes off the moon. She was peripherally aware of Bulma and the others doing something off to the side, maybe saying something, but she didn't care anymore. She felt so strong now; stronger than she'd ever been before, stronger than she thought she could ever be. The box they were in was nothing to her anymore. She could break it without even trying. In fact, she did.
Yes, Goku felt strong now. Strong enough to kill that monster that killed her grandpa. Strong enough to get back her grandpa's Dragon Ball. Strong enough to kill that meanie that took it in the first place. Strong enough to destroy everything around her. And that thought excited her more than any other.
With a primal roar that shook the very heavens, the mighty Great Ape was unleashed upon the world yet again and set her sights on the castle that lay before her.
All Goku knew was that she was strong.
OoOoO
Emperor Pilaf was in a foul mood as he went to make his nightly cocoa. Stupid adventurers and their stupid flying cats and their stupid blue-haired hussies and their stupid wish-stealing! Now he'd have to start the search all over again. Well, at least they'd all be dead. One less thing to worry about. While Pilaf's water boiled, he looked out the window.
"Hmm," he muttered to himself. "A full moon. That's pre-" but he was ripped away from his musings when he saw something impossible. An enormous brown monkey exploded out of the glass ceiling prison with a roar. For a moment Pilaf did nothing, paralyzed with fear. Then he was running down the hallway and screaming his head off. "Mai! Shu!" he screamed. "Wake up, wake up, wake up!" Groggily the two wandered out of their bed chambers, rubbing sleep out of their eyes.
"What is it, Emperor-" Mai started to say before she was interrupted by a slab of stone that smashed through the castle. This also opened a hole in the wall that let the two of them see the giant, red-eyed demon monkey destroying everything.
"That!" Pilaf cried in a panic while gesticulating wildly. "That is 'it'!" Without another word the three of them ran for the hanger, hoping to get in one of Pilaf's planes and get the hell out of there.
OoOoOoO
Goku burst through the glass ceiling of their prison like it was made of paper as she beat at her chest and howled at the night sky. She swung her arms wildly and smashed the walls to rubble before stomping out of the ruins with Bulma trailing after her.
"Hey!" Bulma called up at Goku while waving her arms. "Hey! Get back here!" she demanded. Goku turned to look over a shoulder at Bulma, her lips curling up into a snarl that exposed teeth. The color drained from Bulma's face as she held up her hands defensively. "G-Goku, it's okay! W-we're free now! Y-y-you can turn back to normal!" Goku stalked towards her with a growl. "C-c'mon!" Bulma pleaded. "We-we're friends! You wouldn't hurt me, right buddy?" Goku raised up a foot and Bulma threw up her arms in a pathetic attempt to shield herself but then a rock clonked Goku in the head.
"Hey!" Yamcha shouted, holding another rock in his hand as Goku turned her bloodthirsty attention towards him. "Over here!" he threw another rock and Goku growled while stomping after him. Bulma couldn't believe it. He was insane.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?!" she screamed in disbelief. Yamcha threw another rock at Goku and ran, leading her away.
"Buying you some time!" he explained. "Find a plane and get out of here!" Bulma was even more confused.
"But what about you?" she asked. Yamcha shook his head and kept running as Puar flashed his multicolored tongue in Goku's face, infuriating her.
"Just go!" he pleaded. Despite her fear, Bulma couldn't help but get a little weak in the knees at such an unbridled act of heroism. Even so, she ran. Hey, Yamcha and Puar were going to die so she could live. It would be rude to hang around to try and help them, right? At least that's what Bulma kept telling herself to stop from turning around and suicidally trying to help them.
Bulma was running as fast as her feet could carry her while ducking her head in and out of various buildings, looking to see if any of them had a plane. All the while, she could hear the sound of Goku's rampage as she laid the castle to ruin. She finally found a hangar with an airplane in it. Bulma had just taken a step inside, however, when the headlights flashed in her face and blinded her. She barely had time to jump out of the way to avoid the plane running her over. She gave a defeated sigh as she watched it fly off.
"Screw you, you stupid goblin!" she screamed with impotent rage while giving it the double deuce. Stupid Pilaf… Maybe, just maybe, she could find the car. And maybe it wasn't completely destroyed. Something tore Bulma out of her desperate contemplations when a shadow flew across the moon. Bulma blinked as the shadow became plainly clear. Goku had torn one of the towers off the castle and thrown it at the plane! She took a perhaps unhealthy amount of pleasure from watching the plane get smashed into pieces as three people probably died. That pleasure was quickly torn from her as the rubble of the tower plummeted towards her and all she had time to do was curl up in a ball. And totally not cry.
OoOoOoO
Yamcha was running out of options. He was winded, Puar was exhausted, and Goku didn't seem to be anything more than annoyed. She stomped after him with giant strides as she chased him. How the hell could something like this even happen? Sure, Goku was kind of weird, but this was ridiculous! Yamcha's only shot was to just keep Goku running until morning. Hopefully the moon disappearing would turn her back to normal. And if not…
"Help!" came a desperate cry from underneath a pile of rubble. Yamcha gave a groan as Goku turned her attention away from him. How? How was she still here? And what was Bulma doing buried under rocks?! Yamcha kicked and punched at Goku's legs as she stomped away from him and Puar flashed his lights right in her face. Goku dismissively swatted Puar away and shook Yamcha off. He tumbled through the sand before coming to a stop, staring up helplessly as Goku raised a foot and prepared to crush Bulma again. With the last reserves of his strength, Yamcha jumped at Goku's tail and grabbed with all his might. If it worked when Chi-Chi did it when Goku was small…
OoOoOoO
Bulma shrieked as Goku's foot was once again raised over her but once again it stopped before she was crushed. Bulma wasn't sure how much more of this her heart could take. She peered through a hole in the rubble and saw Yamcha grabbing Goku's tail, flexing and straining. His muscles looked so… shiny from here. And he just seemed so… brave.
"Puar!" Yamcha screamed at the top of his lungs as he fought to control Goku. "Her tail! Turn into some scissors or something!" It was the only thing he could think of at the moment. Dutifully, Puar turned into a giant pair of scissors and dive-bombed onto Goku's tail, slicing it off at the base with a snip. Yamcha waited with baited breath and Bulma winced. There was a soft "pop" as Goku turned back to her regular size. A good hundred feet up in the air. She dropped to the ground like a rock with a heavy "thud" and, for a moment, she looked dead. Then, in the silence that followed, she snored. Bulma, Puar, and Yamcha laughed. They laughed at the absurdity of it all, at their exhilaration of still being alive, at this insane adventure, at everything.
Once they were all composed, Yamcha started digging Bulma out of the rocks, trying to be careful as to not make the whole thing collapse on her. Once there was enough space for Bulma to get out, he held out his hand and pulled her out. While Yamcha talked about… something, Bulma wasn't really listening. She just looked at him and thought. He was tall and rugged, with long hair. He was taller than her, but he was definitely well-travelled without being above her station or her equal. He was brave and strong and a little dangerous. And he had obviously gone out of his way to protect her.
"So, I'm sorry about what I said before that Shu guy showed-" Yamcha was saying when Bulma interrupted him. She did so by grabbing the back of his head with both of her small, gloved hands and, with surprising strength, she yanked him down and kissed him hard on the lips. Yamcha's eyes went wide and his face turned red and he knew that at any second he was going to wake up. But he didn't. So he slowly put his arms around her and closed his eyes as he kissed her back. Bulma smiled as the sun rose behind them.
"I guess we got our wishes after all," she said softly before kissing him again. Her hands started moving and Yamcha pushed her away suddenly, clearing his throat and jerking his head in Goku's direction as she started to stir. Goku sat up with a groan and rubbed her head.
OoOoOoO
Goku's head was on fire. The last thing she remembered it was nighttime and she felt really strong. So why was it morning? She got up on shaky legs before falling back on her butt. Her whole balance was messed up. What was wrong with her?
"Wh-what happened?" she asked while looking up at Yamcha and Bulma. They seemed pretty happy, which made Goku a little happier. She looked behind her and her eyes snapped open. "My tail!" she cried in distress while running around in a circle. "What happened to my tail?!" Where could it have gone? Did it run away?
"Those bad guys cut it off," Bulma said quickly. Something about that seemed kinda fishy, though. Goku frowned and balled up her fists.
"If I ever see them again, I'll kick their butts!" she promised. Who did they think they were, cutting off people's tails? What a bunch of jerks! She suddenly remembered that they'd seen the balls fly off into the sky after the Dragon went away and frowned again. "Where did the balls go?" she asked Bulma sadly. Bulma got down to Goku's level and looked at her sympathetically.
"I'm sorry, Goku. I didn't know they were all going to fly off when the wishes got made," she said softly before pulling Goku into a hug. Bulma let go of Goku suddenly, her eyes bright with an idea. "Hey!" she said excitedly. "Why don't you come live with me and Yamcha in the city? You'll see so many things and meet so many new people! Won't that be fun?" Goku thought about that while tapping her fingers together. It did sound kind of fun and these were her friends… Goku shook her head instead.
"Nah," she declined bluntly. "I gotta go back to Muten Roshi! He said he was gonna train me in Martial Arts!" Then after a moment, she asked "Hey, have you seen my Power Pole?" she wondered and scratched her head while looking around. That was gone, too. So weird.
"Over there," Yamcha said as he gestured to a pile of rubble. Goku ran over and searched for it excitedly. How the heck did it get so far from her, anyway? When she returned, Bulma was holding out the Dragon Radar.
"I won't be needing it anymore," Bulma assured her before smiling at Yamcha. His face got all red when she did that, which Goku thought was pretty funny. Goku took the Radar carefully out of Bulma's hands. Bulma always talked about how hard it had been to make the Radar and how important it was to her and now Bulma was giving it to her so Goku could find her Four Star Ball. She lunged at Bulma suddenly and hugged her legs tight. Though Goku couldn't see it with her face buried in Bulma's shins, Bulma was trying not to cry. Goku broke the hug with the most grateful smile in the world on her face.
"I guess I'd better get going!" she told them cheerfully. Yamcha cleared his throat before she could summon Nimbus.
"Uh, Goku?" he asked. "Don't you think you're forgetting something?" Goku looked around. Dragon Radar in one hand. Power Pole in the other. What else did she have? Yamcha put his face in his hand and sighed while Bulma just smiled and shook her head.
"He means clothes, Goku," Goku looked down suddenly. Oh, yeah! She was naked. Yamcha sighed again while tossing down a set of clothes at her that he'd gotten out of the car. He'd gone and found them while Goku was looking for her Power Pole.
"Muten Roshi might find it a little weird," he explained. "Just trust me on this one." They'd taken everything out of the other car when he'd blown it up so these had probably belonged to the pig dude. Goku pulled on the white undershirt and a pair of blue pants. The pig dude's shoes didn't really fit but that was okay. Muten Roshi would probably give her some new ones. She smiled up at Bulma and Yamcha before the two of them got down to pull her into a group hug.
"We'll see you again someday, right?" Bulma asked. Goku's smile got even wider as she nodded enthusiastically.
"Of course!" she promised. "You guys are my friends!" Then she hopped away from them and gave a little wave. "Nimbus!" she called out, and the cloud flew down from the heavens. She hopped onto it and flew away, excited for her next adventure. The world was a wonderful place!
Z/N: And that ends the Pilaf Saga. Next time, we kick off the 21st Budoukai Saga in style! The changes will be greatly increasing in number so get ready for the ride to really begin!
SSVC/N: Hopefully "tasting the rainbow" will dissuade any worries that we were setting out to make Dragon Ball less silly. Don't worry folks, it's going to get goofy.