I seem to have been possessed by a writing demon. Two chapters in one weekend? Unheard of for me.

Right?

The one-word question, which could be used in almost any context, rang through Zarina's head throughout the entirety of the next school day. For her, however, it carried much heavier connotations, mainly the pressing feeling that her mother was going to be severely disappointed in what she was thinking.

During lunch break, she barely could recall what she and Lyrei had talked about. She was too focused trying to remember when, or if, she'd ever had a crush on a boy. Every time she thought she remembered someone, it turned out to…not be a boy, to say the least.

Even if I have had a crush on a boy before, she realized as she stared at the details in the lunch table she and Rei were sitting at, that wouldn't matter.

I'm still thinking the wrong thoughts now, so the past doesn't change that.

"Rina?"

Lyrei's voice snapped her out of her trance-like state.

"Uh…yeah?" she responded, stammering the words with a shaky voice. Oh gosh. She'd never messed up her speech that badly before in front of Lyrei.

"I was just wondering if you're okay," Rina's friend responded softly, scooting closer so their shoulders were almost touching. "You seem really out of it today. Did something happen with your parents again?"

"No, not really, I just…I'm tired," Rina said, giving Rei a watery smile. "I'll be fine, I just need a bit more sleep than I've been getting."

"Okay." Lyrei narrowed her eyes at Zarina, seemingly still not convinced.

But Rina knew that there was no way any amount of sleep would fix this. Something was remotely wrong with her, and she just needed to hide it from everyone—including Lyrei—until she could find some way to fix herself.

In the meantime, she would throw herself into her studies at Foxfire, since there was pretty much nothing else she could do. Lyrei hadn't been getting anywhere lately with the ability detecting mentor, and even though the weekly sessions continued, she'd told Rina not to bother with helping her anymore. In Lyrei's words, What's the point anymore?

The two friends said goodbye to each other and went their separate ways, each of them heading to their respective Foxfire classes.

This was enough for now to distract Zarina from her innermost thoughts, which was something she desperately needed. However, that one-word question, the one that had convinced her that something was innately wrong with her, still rang through some part of her head. It was always there, nagging at her, haunting her like those ghosts that some of the humans seemed to believe in.

Right? Right? RIGHT?

She'd had crushes on boys before…

Had she?

Shit.

"Miss Wynra, are you alright?"

"Hmm?" Zarina was startled out of her trail of thought by her Charger Mentor. They'd been practicing creating mini thunderstorms using lightning. Apparently, she'd been distracted enough that she'd managed to create the thunderstorm right over Sir Lorcan, causing him to be zapped continuously.

"I need to make sure you're getting enough sleep. It's very important for a busy student, you know," he continued, looking at her with more concern than her father had.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Zarina mumbled, avoiding eye contact.

Sir Lorcan, just as Lyrei had done, narrowed his eyes as if he didn't believe her but continued on as if nothing had happened. They continued to work on mini thunderstorms, and Zarina succeeded in not zapping her Mentor this time.

Back in her bedroom, however, there was nothing to keep her from thinking about the overwhelming dilemma she was facing at the moment. She tried, again and again and again, to focus on her homework, but anytime she actually began to focus, Zarina was once again distracted with the thought of that doodle she'd done of Lyrei, which had caused her face to heat up in what was very similar to a blush.

Shut up. Shut up. SHUT UP!

She took a deep breath, and realized that her thoughts had turned in a completely different direction.

Now that she considered it, really considered it, without any negative feedback from herself or thinking about what her mom would say to all this, she could see it. As hard as Zarina tried, she'd never had a crush on a boy before, and that fiasco with Nylian definitely did not count as a crush. She'd slapped him in the face, for the Council's sake!

But…Lyrei had had crushes on boys before. She remembered clearly, the late nights staying at her friend's house, listening to Lyrei recount interactions with her ongoing crush. She didn't think Lyrei had liked that boy since Level 3, but still…

She'd felt elated for a moment, at the notion that maybe she wasn't broken, maybe this was just a thing, a part of her the same way being a Charger was. However, the realization that Lyrei probably wouldn't understand sent her back into the depths of despair, once again lying face down on her bed and screaming into the pillows.

What was wrong with her?