Sorry this is late, I canoed for 11 miles straight and then got sick. Anyways here's 1000 words of Zarina having a gay awakening. Also the actual name of this chapter is "I'm Not Talkin' 'Bout Boys, I'm Talkin' 'Bout Girls" from the song "girls" by girl in red but it was too long so I had to shorten it :(

Finally, it was once again the weekend. Zarina and Lyrei had both been swamped with last minute, spontaneous homework assignments on Friday. This meant their schedules were booked for the entirety of the weekend, so they wouldn't get any chances to hang out.

However, this also meant that Zarina wouldn't have to face either of her parents for all of Saturday and Sunday. She didn't even come out of her bedroom for meals—not by choice, but because she wouldn't be able to finish all of her homework if she stopped to eat. That was why her dad came in routinely to check on her, and to deliver snacks and all three meals at the regular times that they normally ate as a family.

Since that day when her and her dad had had a "chat" over their tea, their relationship had been rocky, to say the least. But at least he was trying now, and Zarina thought he might've talked to her mom too because she appeared to be less snappy than usual, and didn't get mad when she walked in on Zarina hailing Lyrei after she'd finally finished her homework late on Sunday night.

"How's Exile been?" Lyrei asked as soon as they could both see each other, referring to the ridiculous amount of homework their teachers had assigned them.

Zarina rolled her eyes. "I just finished writing this 12-page essay about the practical uses of the matchmaking system for Elvin History. Like, what the heck? Everyone gets what the match is, I don't need to spend a billion years researching it."

Lyrei laughed. "I had the same assignment, but I had to write about Atlantis and why the human-elvin relationship didn't work."

"At least your topic was remotely interesting," Rina lamented, sighing.

"Let's move on from boring stuff," Rei replied. "We just spend all day doing it, so why bother talking about it further?"

"Yeah, you're right. What should we talk about then?"

"Hmm. I don't know."

"How's ability detecting going?" Rina knew it was the wrong thing to say the minute she asked it. That was so insensitive.

Her suspicion was correct when Lyrei's face immediately fell. "I have to go. See you tomorrow, okay?" And just like that, Lyrei was gone and Zarina was only staring at a blank silver square, feeling like the worst elf in existence.

Shit. I screwed things up. She's not gonna want to talk to me anymore, Zarina thought to herself, automatically hearing her mom's voice say, "It's 'going to,' not 'gonna.'"

She couldn't sleep that night, not after what had happened with Lyrei. She wanted so desperately to Hail her back, apologize for what she'd said, and do anything else to make it up to her. It might not have been a super big deal, but Zarina's mind tended to overestimate how large of a problem something was, and hyperfixate on things that had happened which weren't actually all that impactful.

The real problem, however, lay in the fact that it wasn't losing Lyrei's friendship again that she focused on the most, but Lyrei herself.

Lyrei's eyes twinkled with a light brighter than anyone else Zarina had ever met. When they made eye contact, it was like a firework went off in Zarina's body, sparks racing up her spine to ignite in her chest. The sight of Lyrei always made Zarina perk up, even if she'd pulled an all nighter and could barely function.

But she must have just really admired Lyrei, right?

"Ugh!" Zarina groaned, rolling over onto her back and putting her hands over her face. Why wasn't she simply capable of falling asleep like a normal elf?

Did admiration really go this deep?

Standing up, Zarina rubbed her eyes. She sat down at her desk to complete some more homework. Technically, she'd finished all of the assigned coursework for now. However, her Elvin History teacher had said that if she wanted to earn extra credit, Zarina could write a second essay about any significant history event. It had to be at least 5 pages long, which was still torture, but at least it wasn't as long as the required essay about matchmaking. Plus, it would take her mind off…everything.

Blushing and faster heartbeats when you saw your best friend were definitely normal.

After some deliberation, Zarina eventually decided on why Pyrokinesis had been banned as her essay topic, which hadn't been covered much, but she figured she could make it work. Her teacher would probably give her more extra credit for creativity, and plus, the banning of a special ability counted as a significant historical event, right?

It didn't matter that Zarina had never liked a guy, right?

Her hand was already hurting by the time she was halfway through with her second page. Maybe going for extra credit wasn't the best idea.

No. She'd find a boy to fall in love with eventually. Everyone did.

"I'll be fine," she muttered to herself, bending back over the paper she was writing her essay on. Besides, she reminded herself, it wasn't as if she'd be able to fall asleep anyways, so why bother wasting her time laying in bed when she could be productive?

Eventually.

An hour passed, or two. Zarina had essentially lost her ability to reliably keep track of time. After a glance out her window, though, she could concretely say it was around midnight.

Stop thinking about this and focus on what really matters.

Finally, she finished the essay. Somehow, Zarina managed to make it six and a half pages, which she was sure her Mentor would appreciate. However, despite this, the entire time she was writing her mind was still in a completely different place. She couldn't stop thinking of…her.

What would it be like to kiss a girl?

Zarina's eyes widened and she almost choked on air. Whoa. That thought had come out of nowhere.

But no matter how hard she tried, Zarina couldn't seem to banish it. The thought, that one question, lingered at the front of her mind like a storm cloud…except it wasn't exactly unhappy, so maybe a white, cottony cloud, or a rainbow. She kept telling herself that this wasn't right, that she should only be thinking about kissing boys, but it was all in vain.

All Zarina could think about as she paced back and forth in front of her window was that thought. It now pulsed inside of her, became the rhythm of her life, every step she took aligning with a word.

"Zarina?"

She whipped around to see her mother poking her head into Zarina's room with a deep frown on her face.

"...Yes?" Zarina replied, fully turning her body to face her mother.

"Why are you awake at this hour? You should be sleeping, so you have enough energy to do as well in school as possible."

"I'm doing homework," Zarina responded, looking bluntly at her mother and resisting the urge to roll her eyes at her. "If I wasn't, then I wouldn't be able to do well in school at all. Plus, I finished an extra credit assignment!" she added, gesturing to her desk where the essay still lay, next to her other essay for Elvin History.

"Okay," her mom said suspiciously, slowly walking out. "But if I find out you've been doing something unproductive, you're grounded and I'm taking away your Imparter again. And make sure to get at least some sleep. You'll need it."

Then she was gone.

"Well that could've gone much worse." Sighing, Zarina collapsed into a sitting position on the edge of her bed. "Now back to that other problem."

And then suddenly, she remembered something she'd said when Lyrei was feeling down about not manifesting yet. You're going to manifest, and even if you don't—which you will—I don't care! I'll hang out with you every day, and when we get our match lists, I'll start dating you just to spite them.

Besides the grin that spread across her face from the happy memory, Zarina felt something else: a realization.

Dating a girl.

Maybe that's what I want.