Chapter Hundred-twenty-six
Save Us, Hercule! Oh, no! The Zeta Sword!
Baba and Goku appeared back at the gates of the Afterlife with a "Ding!" like an opening elevator. Goku stared at the line of clouds, wondering why it never seemed to get any shorter, while Baba straightened her pointed hat.
"Alright," she told Goku, "You stay right here. I'm gonna go talk to Enma and see if I can get you some extra time. But if I do," she told her, "You won't be able to do any more of that Super Saiyan 3 nonsense. You're gonna have to just sit on the sidelines and coach." Then Baba floated off on her crystal ball, leaving Goku with her thoughts.
'I should go look for Gohan,' was Goku's immediate thought. She hummed and tried to focus on Gohan's ki, wondering why she couldn't find it in Otherworld. 'Where the heck are you, Gohan?' she wondered. She closed her eyes and expanded her consciousness, searching for the familiar ki of her son. She grinned a little when she found it and then she was gone.
"Alright," Baba said as she returned to where Goku had been literally thirty seconds before, "I think I can finagle something, but it's going to take a little time. Just wait here for a li–" that was when the fortuneteller noticed that the Saiyan was nowhere to be seen. She groaned and yanked her hat down over her head to muffle her frustrated scream, the tip of the hat ballooning outward from the rapid exhalation of hot air. This went on for several seconds, the ogres giving her a wide berth and the parade of spirit-clouds continuing on undeterred. "I don't get paid enough for this," Baba muttered wearily after she pushed her hat back up.
"BABA!" Enma's voice boomed across all of creation, nearly knocking the 300-something off of her crystal ball in shock. "GET OVER HERE," he told her. "I'M SENDING YOU TO HELL!"
"What?!" Baba exclaimed in shock as she flew over to Enma on her crystal ball. "What the hell did I do? I'm not even dead!"
"NOT LIKE THAT," Enma explained. "I NEED YOU TO GO GRAB A SOUL BEFORE IT GETS PURIFIED."
Baba took a second to wonder just what that meant before it suddenly clicked in her head and her eyes widened. "You mean–?"
"YEAH," Enma confirmed. "SO GET MOVIN'! OH, WHILE YOU'RE DOWN THERE," he added, "MAKE SURE TO STAY AWAY FROM THAT PURPLE-HEADED LITTLE CREEP." Baba nodded and then she was gone. Honestly, Enma couldn't figure out why that Freeza guy didn't just keel over already. Wasn't being the only denizen of Hell for the last decade enough to make him want to be reincarnated? He sure hoped it wasn't a Pikkon thing where he seemed to be going on out of spite. He didn't know if he could stand the thought of fifty thousand years of that migraine. 'Then again,' he thought to himself, 'If things get any worse with this Majin Boo situation, I might have to let Baba bring him back, too!' He shuddered at the thought before noticing that the line was starting to congest again and sighed as he went back to sending people to Heaven or Hell. He really needed someone to do this for him. He hadn't had a day off since the first population boom on the first planet. Back then, it was rare for more than one person to die in a week. 'Those were the days,' he thought glumly.
OoOoOoO
Gohan gave a practiced swing of the Zeta Sword, already used to the blade's incredible heft and weight, and was startled when his swing was nearly intercepted by his mom's neck.
"Mom!" Gohan exclaimed, dropping the sword to the ground in shock. Goku grinned when she saw her son, while Xī gawked in bewilderment that Goku just appeared and Kibito balked at the heresy of it all.
"Gohan!" Goku cheered enthusiastically, grabbing her son in a tight hug and lifting him into the air as she noticed his lack of a halo. "You're not dead!" So Videl had been right after all!
"It was a close thing for a little bit," Gohan confessed with a wheeze as his mom seemed intent to squeeze the air out of him. "But you can thank Xī and Kibito for that not being the case." Goku let Gohan down and moved to hug the aforementioned deities before Xī held up her hands and shook her head profusely.
"Really, that's quite alright," the Kaioushin assured her with a nervous laugh while Kibito was trying very hard not to insult Goku in one of the thousands of languages the Kaioushin had invented. "It wasn't as if we could let Gohan die, after all."
"I gotta ask, though, mom," Gohan said as he picked the Zeta Sword back up, "What're you doing here? You were supposed to be on Earth for a lot longer than this!" Goku gave a nervous chuckle, scratching the back of her head.
"I sorta… used up all my time with Super Saiyan three," she admitted in a tone that was almost bashful. Gohan's eyes lit up at the prospect. So there was another level beyond Two!
"So Earth hasn't been destroyed yet?" Xī mused as she tapped her chin thoughtfully. "That was going to be my guess as to what brought you here. What's the situation there?"
"Boo's still around," Goku said with a shrug, "But don't worry! Goten and Trunks'll handle it."
"...The children," Xī replied in a deadpan. Goku nodded. "...How?"
"Yeah, I'm with Xī on this one," Gohan replied, "What the heck are you talking about?"
"They'll be fine!" Goku assured them with a dismissive wave. "I taught 'em the Metamoran fusion dance before I left!"
"The Metamo–" Xī started before her eyes bulged. "You mean you knew the fusion dance this entire time?!" she balked. "Why didn't you teach it to Gohan when you were both back on Earth?! Your power fused could have crushed Majin Boo effortlessly!"
Goku… shrugged. "I didn't think Boo was gonna be that big of a deal," she explained, "And by the time I realized he was gonna be a problem, we all thought Gohan was dead." Xī groaned and pulled her face while Goku turned her attention to her very confused son. "The heck is that?" She asked, pointing to the Zeta Sword.
OoOoOoO
Gotenks had been flying around the Lookout, panicking at length and with much histrionics. It seemed that not having a solid gender identity was a very big deal to the child. This was a task that those assembled, the most physically powerful beings in the history of the planet, who had battled demons, world-conquering galactic despots, and xenocidal robots, were woefully underprepared for.
"Why don't you just look in your pants?" Ocha had suggested only a few minutes in. Doing so had only made things worse and it had earned him a clout on the ear from his parents and his sister.
"Ocha! That is not okay!" Yamcha scolded. "He's… she's… seven-and-a-half!" Despite this, no one had been able to come up with anything more significant for Gotenks to work with, even with their brainstorming.
"I mean… he looks like a boy," Launch offered as she cocked her head to one side, watching Gotenks zip overhead. "He kinda has a boy's build? I think?"
Krillin shook his head, rubbing his chin and tapping it thoughtfully. "I dunno, she kinda has a girl's face," he suggested. "And maybe a girl's voice?" Then he turned to Piccolo and Dende, who were as perplexed as anyone. "What about you guys? Does Namek have anything like this?"
"What, you mean my singular-gender, single-sex species who reproduce asexually by vomiting eggs?" Piccolo asked, his voice so heavy with sarcasm that it was amazing that his words didn't crash into the ground and crack the tiled floor as soon as they left his mouth.
"What Piccolo means," Dende put forward in a lighter, more conversational tone, "Is that while Namekians fill out different roles, from warriors, to healers, to farmers, for things like gender we really only have he, so this is a little outside of our–"
"I'M NOT A HE!" Gotenks insisted sharply, coming to a screeching halt to hover in the air, looking down at them red-faced, still mostly in a panic but also with no small amount of anger, as the child did every time someone offered a gendered idea that didn't sit right.
"H-hey, nobody's saying you are, buddy!" Yamcha insisted as he held up his hands in an appeasing gesture. They all had to be careful around Gotenks until they could find a word that Gotenks liked, since the child was far more powerful than all of them put together.
"I'm not," Gotenks muttered and frowning, lips puckered in thought. "I'm not a she, either," the child added thoughtfully. Then, for what felt like the dozenth time, there was a cry of "WHAT AM I?!" before Gotenks started flying around and around.
"Help us out, Bulma," Lazuli pleaded. "You're the smartest person in the world, right? What do you think?"
Bulma kept looking worriedly up at Gotenks, since the child was half her son, after all, and could only offer up an exasperated shrug. "I-I dunno!" she confessed. "All my knowledge is in the applied and practical sciences! I build machines, I cure diseases, I subvert and outright reject the fundamental principles of the universe! I… I dunno how to deal with this!" she threw up her hands in defeat, wishing that there was something she could do to try and allay Gotenks' troubled mind.
"Hey," Ocha said suddenly to Shouronpo, giving his sister a nudge. "Isn't this the kind of thing you talk about in that one class you're taking?"
"That's right!" Shou exclaimed, getting everyone's attention. She smiled at Ocha, thankful that her brother had reminded her and glad to be able to help the others in some way. "I'm taking this class on gender studies as an elective," she explained, "Where we talk about concepts like gender identity, social constructs, and the third gender."
"And you're in what grade?" Suno asked curiously, one eyebrow raised. It certainly sounded like North City had a much more advanced education system than her own village if it offered such courses to young students.
"Sixth!" Ocha and Shou answered in unison.
Man," Yamcha muttered with an amused shake of his head, "School sure has changed since I was a kid."
"How would know?" Tenshinhan asked jokingly. "You never went," he pointed out. Yamcha scoffed.
"Yeah, well, neither did you, triclops!"
Chi-Chi held up her hands, suddenly concerned. "Hold on, hold on," she interjected, "Hold on. Show of hands, how many of you people have any formal schooling?" She held up her own hand, then so did Suno and Bulma. That was it.
"I dropped out of high school," Lazuli admitted awkwardly, only raising her hand halfway. "With the whole… homelessness and kidnapping thing." Chi-Chi gave an aggrieved sigh as she rubbed the bridge of her nose.
"I'm starting to see," she muttered, "Why so few of you have any career prospects outside of 'punches things'."
"Hey, I resent that," Ten objected in a tone that was thoroughly nettled. "I teach people to punch things!" Chi-Chi scoffed and he bristled.
"Alright, alright," Suno said as she stepped between the pair, "We've gotten way off-track. Shouronpo," she said to the girl pleasantly, "What do you think we should do?" Shou beamed, glad to be of help.
Gotenks, who by this point was less a person and more a concentric blue, white, and yellow spiral that orbited the Lookout, was still panicking. 'What am I?!' the child wondered. It was the most important question, the only question, the only thing the child could focus on. How could Gotenks train, how could Gotenks fight, how could Gotenks do anything without that fundamental understanding? 'I don't feel like a boy,' Gotenks thought, 'But I sort of do! I don't feel like a girl, but I sort of do! What do I do?!'
"Gotenks!" Suno shouted as the child sailed past her head. "Gotenks, sweetie, hold on!" she reached a hand out and managed to grab Gotenks' tail when the furry appendage came past. As both Goten and Trunks had trained the weakness out of their tails, however, this did very little to slow the fused child and Suno gave a surprised cry as she was yanked along. Piccolo caught as she darted past, dragged along right behind her, even as he dug his feet into the ground and his arms were stretched to an almost comical degree. The others latched on after Piccolo and then onto each other as all of them were pulled along with very little slowdown for all of their efforts. Those who knew it used Kaiouken to the highest level they could comfortably use before Suno shouted again. "Gotenks! Slow down! I wanna talk to you! Just settle down for a second, okay?" Gotenks came to an abrupt and sudden stop, sending everyone scattering across the Lookout like marbles, except for Suno, who was still holding on tightly to Gotenks' tail.
"Well," Krillin groaned as he hung from a palm tree, "We got Gotenks to stop." Gotenks descended back to the ground and wore a slightly bashful expression.
"Sorry," the child muttered as Suno put a hand on the child's shoulder, giving a reassuring smile.
"It's alright," she assured Gotenks. "I know you must be dealing with a lot right now and I promise, when things are less crazy, you can have as much time as you want to figure out who you are and how you feel. You can fuse as many times as you want. For right now," she offered, giving Gotenks a gentle smile, "How do you feel about 'they'?"
"They…" Gotenks repeated softly, tapping a finger to thoughtfully pursed lips. "They," they whispered again, a small smile starting to grow across their lips. "They!" They exclaimed eagerly, smile growing wider into an outright grin as they puffed out their chest, full of the confidence Gotenks had felt when they'd first come into being. "Yeah! I'm–" unfused. Gotenks was unfused, leaving Goten and Trunks to fall onto their butts, staring at one another in confusion as they tried to process all of the things they'd just experienced.
"...Did that really just take half an hour?" Chi-Chi asked, bewildered.
"Okay, great," Piccolo said bluntly as he grabbed the backs of the children's shirts and yanked them up to their feet. "Gotenks knows their identity. Now, both of you, go into the Hyperbolic Time Chamber."
"Hey, give them a second!" Suno protested.
"They've already wasted an hour and a half," Piccolo shot back, "Since they won't be able to fuse for an hour. They should at least go to the Time Chamber and train. Either they'll get weeks' worth of time out of the experience, or they'll be able to fuse again in seconds. Either way, it's a better use of their time than this nonsense."
"Wait," Trunks muttered as he and Goten followed Popo toward the temple. "What just happened?" Goten gave a shrug.
"Iunno," the girl confessed. "But it sounds like we gotta train! You better take it seriously," she taunted, "Or I'll get too strong and we won't be able to fuse!"
"No, you won't!" Trunks retorted with a grin as he gave her a little shove. Goten grinned and shoved Trunks back before Popo brought them to an enormous pair of wooden doors.
"Right then," Popo said as he reached for one of the long brass door handles. "Through these doors is the Hyperbolic Time Chamber. I should warn you, it goes on forever, so try not to get lost. Also, don't break the door or you'll never get out." Then he opened the door and Goten and Trunks had to shield their eyes from the blinding white void that was opened to them. "Geronimo!" Popo declared, shoving them in the backs and slamming the door behind them.
OoOoOoO
"Whoa," Trunks gaped in amazement, his voice echoing out into infinity. "That weird guy with the scarf wasn't kidding! It just goes on forever!"
"Hello!" Goten shouted, giggling as her echo greeted her back. "So what should we do for an hour?" Goten asked curiously.
Trunks gave a shrug as he powered instantly to Super Saiyan. "Wanna spar?" he asked. Goten grinned and transformed in response.
'You're on! I'm gonna win this time!" she challenged him. Trunks grinned.
"Fat chance!" he taunted. Then they each moved in to attack.
OoOoOoO
"Actually," Suno suggested thoughtfully after a minute, "Maybe we should leave them in there for more than an hour. The Chamber has food in it again, right?"
"Yes," Dende replied somewhat-dryly, "I have been shopping in the last seven years."
"Wait, you went to the grocery store?" Krillin asked incredulously. "How did you pay?" The Namekian both had no pockets and Krillin had never seen him with any form of Earth currency. Heck, he didn't even know where Dende would get money. It wasn't as if he had wandered into a bank and said "I am your God, now gimme," right? He had so many questions.
"Beside the point," Suno cut in, though she was more than a little curious about the logistics of that herself. "They should be fine, right? Besides, we need to maximize our time to try and deal with Majin Boo as best we can. Even as strong as Gotenks is, they're nowhere near as powerful as Goku was when she went Super Saiyan 3."
"Wish we could see what's going on with Boo and Babidi," Roshi muttered. "Then we'd know what the state of things is." They heard an explosion off in the far distance and everyone shared a worried expression as they felt several hundred smaller ki suddenly vanish. "Nevermind," he decided. "We know what the state of things is." It was a terrible feeling, this sensation of powerlessness. After several years of peace, they'd forgotten what it felt like. Knowing what the enemy was and knowing the scope of its power, that the enemy must be defeated, yet being so woefully ill-equipped to defeat it, to even challenge it, that they were little more than the terrified populace down below. What sort of chaos was Majin Boo up to now?
OoOoOoO
Majin Boo gave a delighted giggle as he watched another pink fireball bloom into life from a city he'd destroyed. It was so pretty! He was having so much more fun without that meanie Babidi shouting at him all the time. He could go wherever he wanted and blow up whatever he wanted, making people into food if he wanted or just making them go boom! It was a big game! Sometimes he liked to fly down into the city and watch as the people ran before he zapped them, turning them into snacks or just making them dead. The runaway game was fun. He flew away from the explosion, wondering where he'd go next as he looked down at a line of cars far below. He saw a small person wandering among the cars and flew down toward them, until he landed in front of him.
"Hi!" Boo greeted cheerily. The small, dark-haired, freckle-faced boy was dressed in denim overalls, sandals, a red shirt, and a floppy straw hat. He flinched when Boo spoke but seemed more startled by his presence than his appearance.
"H-hello?" The boy said, reaching a hand out and pressing it curiously to Majin Boo's stomach. This made Boo equally curious. Why hadn't the boy run away yet? Everyone ran away from him. Why didn't this boy play the runaway game? This was different. This was new!
"You not scared of Boo?" Boo asked. The boy turned his head up to the Majin, at which point he noticed that the boy's eyes weren't looking at him. There was a vacantness to them and a glassy haze. "You not see?" he asked. The boy shook his head.
"No," he admitted, his hands still wandering over Boo's expansive stomach, confused by both the texture of the thing under his hands and its voice. "I was born blind." That made Boo… sad. He'd never really been sad. Not for someone else, anyway. He could be sad when he was scolded, or when he ran out of cake, or when people didn't want to play anymore. This was different, though. The boy being blind didn't change Majin Boo's life at all but it still made the creature feel… empathy. He raised one of his mittened hands and pressed his palm flat against the boy's face.
When Boo had healed Babidi, he hadn't really cared enough about his master to make the process pleasant… or even really if it worked, just that it would make Babidi stop yelling. This time, though, Majin Boo made the deliberate decision to fix the boy's eyes as painlessly as possible. When Boo lowered his hand, the boy's eyes were bright and shiny as he looked up at him.
"I-I… I can see!" he exclaimed happily with tears running down his smiling face. He threw out his arms and hugged his savior. "Thank you, mister! Thank you so much!"
"You welcome!" Boo replied cheerfully. Seeing the child so happy made Boo feel happy. In a way that playing the runaway game usually did. "What Boo call you?" he asked curiously.
"M-my name's Monty," the boy replied as he rubbed his eyes, gazing wondrously at the bright blue sky. "Thank you again, mister! Thank you so much!"
"Why you all alone?" Boo wondered. The boy suddenly looked sad, which made Boo sad.
"I was with my parents," Monty explained. "Everyone was trying to escape from the city, but there must have been traffic or something because we stopped moving. We got out of the car but there were a lot of people and it was really loud… I got separated from them. I've been walking for a while," he admitted, "And I'm really thirsty. Do you think you could help me?"
"Okay!" Boo agreed with a cheery thumbs-up. Then he flew off, leaving Monty to gawk in amazement. He could fly! He was like a superhero!
OoOoOoO
"Monty!" Linda called out, her long blonde hair sticking to her forehead with sweat. It had fallen out of its bun more than an hour ago from a combination of the heat and her ragged nerves. She raised her glasses to wipe sweat from her eyes before she went back to shouting, calling out for her son.
"Monty!" Her husband, James, shouted, adding his voice to hers. His prosthetic hand whirred softly as he cupped both hands around his mouth, trying to amplify his voice. The sun beat down on him, drawing attention to the graying temples of his military haircut.
"I just don't understand," Linda muttered weakly, her voice hoarse from shouting. "Where could he have gone? We've been calling for hours!"
"It's my fault," James said morosely. "I should have kept a better eye on him. I should have held his hand tighter, I should have…" he leaned against one of the abandoned cars and pressed a face despairingly to his hand, guilt crushing his will to keep walking. How could he have let this happen? What sort of father lost track of his son? His blind son?
"No, James, no," Linda offered softly in a reassuring voice, resting her hand on his shoulder. "Don't blame yourself. It's going to be alright. We're going to find Monty, I'm sure." Then a shadow covered them. At first they had thought it was a cloud, finally come to relieve them from the aggressive beat of this uncommonly hot later afternoon May sun and looked up… to see Majin Boo descending down toward them.
"Hello!" Boo greeted them in a gleeful tone that was terrifying. James, in a bravely futile gesture, flung up his arm in front of Linda and was halfway to drawing his revolver when Boo's antenna whipped forward, striking them with a bolt of pink lightning. Their last conscious experience was a moment of horrified shrieking before they were suddenly… chocolate milk. The carton floated into Majin Boo's hand and he grinned before flying off again.
OoOoOoO
"Thank you," Monty said gratefully as he took the carton from boo, opening and gulping it down. He gave a satisfied sigh when he finished chugging, smiling at Boo with a milk mustache. "Thank you very much! Did you find my parents?"
"Yep!" Majin Boo confirmed before flying off again. Monty was very confused and Majin Boo was feeling great about himself. He'd been helpful! Time to reward himself with more of the runaway game!
As Monty drank his milk, he was overwhelmed by the sudden and powerful need to cry. He couldn't explain it, he just felt… sad.
OoOoOoO
King Giran's reign seemed to be one of long periods of peace intermittent with sporadic spikes of absolute, world-ending, mind-shattering terror. Today was one such spike and he sat in his war room with his closest councilors, drumming his claws on the table as they all gave their ideas of what to do with this latest crisis.
"That Bulma woman put a laser in the moon, didn't she?" pointed out General Pattonhower, an older human man with leather-like tanned skin and a permanent, surly squint. "Why don't we just shoot the big pink bastard? Even if it doesn't work and he retaliates, he's just gonna blow up the moon! It's not like he can trace it back to us!"
"I don't think there's any way we can combat this creature," suggested Dr. Jervis Cottontail, a rabbitman and the Kingdom's Chief scientific advisor -in an official capacity, at least. He would always bow to whatever opinion Bulma might provide when she could be on hand to give one. "Our safest bet right now is Project Exodus." This was another invention that was only feasible because of Capsule Corp: thousands of space-ready crafts that were stocked with provisions and were ready to carry Earth's population at a moment's notice, should the planet become hopelessly inhospitable or in danger of imminent destruction.
"Are you suggesting that we try and mobilize 6.6 billion people in this state of chaos?!" balked Royal Vizier Winchell, an eaglewoman whose feathers ruffled at the very insinuation.
"Actually," Giran interjected, "It's closer to 3.5 billion, if our numbers based on the current rampage are correct, and getting smaller. Lady and gentlemen, I am the King of the Earth," he reminded them, "And I certainly do not intend to be the last King of Earth. Bulma has informed us that she is in contact with members of this 'Galactic Federation', which is apparently opened to the idea of us joining its confederacy. No doubt they would be willing to find a hospitable world for us to settle on as refugees." Plus, with the number of fighters that could actually oppose Majin Boo dwindling by the second… "Begin preparations to initiate Project Exodus," Giran directed. "Once Majin Boo is distracted, we can begin mobilization and evacuation."
"Mind if I offer another suggestion?" came a new voice, the second-gruffest in the room and the only voice as well-known as that of the King. Perhaps even the only voice more well-known. The others turned in their chairs around the round table and stared as Hercule Satan entered the darkened room, the advisors' mouths hanging open. It was really him! The hero of mankind, Hercule himself!
"How did you get in here?" Winchell wondered in amazement. Hercule shrugged as he came closer.
"Gave the guards my autograph," he explained. General Pattonhower's expression curdled with disgust.
"Well, they're fired," he muttered under his breath. Not only was it wildly unprofessional, but why didn't they get an autograph for the general, too?! Giran looked at Hercule contemplatively. The man looked like he had a plan.
"All of you," he told his three advisors, "Out. Now." They shuffled awkwardly out of the room and Hercule slid into the seat directly across from Giran. "You're not actually going to fight Majin Boo, are you?" There were only a handful of people on Earth that knew what actually occurred that day at the Cell Games and Giran was one of them. He knew that for all of Hercule's pageantry and showmanship, he had no more supernatural power than Giran himself. In fact, given that Giran could upchuck a laser that could ensnare people in a gum, Hercule had less supernatural powers than him.
"No," Hercule assured him with a shake of his head. "I haven't bought into my own hype that much. What I want to do," he explained as he leaned forward on the table, "Is talk to him."
Giran stared at him for several long seconds. "This is the part where you tell me you're kidding," his grace prompted after a few more incredulous seconds.
"I'm not," Hercule responded. This only made Giran stare at him harder. "Look, we both saw the same thing. This Majin Boo doesn't know right from wrong. He doesn't understand that killing is wrong. He's a little kid. He thinks it's all a game!"
"A little kid whose game has already killed more than two billion of my citizens," Giran growled out. "What's your point? That if you can teach him to make nice and he learns how to feel bad for his actions, everything'll be okay?"
"Not to sound callous, your majesty," Hercule said dryly, "But… Dragon Balls." Giran sighed and leaned back in his chair, struggling to come to terms with the enormity and the absurdity of this suggestion. "If I can talk to him, if I just had a chance to explain things to him, I think I can get this to stop without anyone else dying. Just give me twenty-four hours."
"You have twelve," Giran responded stiffly, closing his eyes and rubbing his snout. "Personally, I think this is the dumbest idea I've ever heard. But," he allowed, "If you can at least distract him, that'll allow us to move forward with Project Exodus."
Hercule nodded. "Thank you, your majesty," he replied as he stood and turned for the door.
"Thank you, Hercule," Giran said before the other could leave. "I might not agree with this plan but… you're a very brave man." Hercule chuckled and shook his head.
"Nah," he refused. "Just a dumb one."
OoOoOoO
Goku smiled fondly as she watched Gohan practice with the Zeta Sword. She still didn't know how a sword would defeat Majin Boo, but she was proud of her son for showing such proficiency with it. "Wow, Gohan, you're pretty good with that for only having used a sword for a couple hours!" she said encouragingly.
"I'm not surprised," Xī hummed approvingly. "I did make you highly adaptable to combat situations. It follows naturally that this would include a natural talent for armed combat as well." Goku guessed that made sense. She'd never really needed training for how to use her Grandpa's Power Pole, after all. She just picked it up and knew.
"Come on," Goku said as she hopped off the rock she'd been sitting on and flew across the grassy field to stand in front of Gohan at a distance. "Let's see how fast you are with that thing!" Gohan looked at his mother curiously for a moment before she generated a ki ball and put a hand behind her back, hunching forward in the stereotypical pitcher's pose. He grinned and choked up on the Zeta Sword, hoisting it over one shoulder like a baseball bat. "Hey, battabatta, hey, battabatta!" Goku called before she wound up and threw, launching the ki ball at Gohan. It whizzed toward him with alarming speed and he swung, slicing it neatly in half and watching both halves of the ki ball in opposite directions. This went on for several minutes and Gohan couldn't help but enjoy himself. Despite the terror and the tension of the situation and despite the looming threat of cosmic annihilation… he was having fun! He was playing a game with his mom!
"Very good, very good!" Xī cheered on with a laugh and a clap of her hands before she got a sudden and excited glint in her eye. "But how about we really put the sword and the swordsman to the test?" she offered. She snapped her fingers and a cube made of thin trails of blue light appeared over Goku's head. That cube became much more solid as it turned into an enormous cube of a black metal so dark that it seemed to drink in all the light around it. It also became much heavier as it nearly fell on Goku's head and she had to throw up her arms to catch it, giving a grunt as her feet sunk into the ground, making Xī chuckle a little. Obviously, she was still more than a little nettled about Goku's hand in Majin Boo's resurrection.
"The heck is this?" Goku grunted out, her arms wavering a little as she adjusted to the weight of it.
"That," Xī explained, "Is Katchin. The strongest, hardest substance in this universe and the base for the strongest alloy in the multiverse."
"Wait," Gohan interjected, "Multiverse?"
"Aaatatatata," Xī admonished with the wag of a finger. "Focus on saving the universe, then we'll talk about that. This should be a much better test of the blade's strength and sharpness."
"I'll say," Goku agreed before she powered up to Super Saiyan so she could handle the weight better, now able to hold the cube with one hand. "You ready, Gohan?"
"Yeah," he answered as he transformed. "Let it rip, mom!" Goku gave a grunt of effort and hurled the katchin with all her might. Gohan swung the sword as hard as he could and there was a blind flash, an almighty crack, and the whistle of the cube sailing by overhead. When the light faded and Gohan opened his eyes… he stared at the broken blade of the Zeta Sword. His eyes drifted down to the grass, where the rest of the Zeta Sword lay. His mouth hung open and his eyes went wide as he broken sword slipped from his numb hands to land on the soft, green grass with a thump. Goku looked confused and Xī's eyes shrank as she let out a whimper. Kibito summed the whole thing up in a strained deadpan.
"We. Are. Fucked."
SSV/N: So here's some of those juicy behind-the-scenes tidbits we promised. Please enjoy this look behind the curtain.
-Originally, before Suno had properly entered the fold or became nearly so much fun for us to write, the plan was to have Goku wind up with Krillin and Suno take Krillin's place in ending up with Lazuli (as was hinted at in The Light's Willpower). Obviously, we soon decided that was no longer going to be the case.
- It's no secret between me and Zelenal that I am not a fan of Super's characterization of Goku and the fandom's obsession with the "Goku is a terrible father/husband/Piccolo is Gohan's real dad" jokes (It actually caused me to unsubscribe from the TFS youtube accounts). So, as some of you might have guessed, the entire Monkey Queen Son Family dynamic and relationships is one big ol' "Take That" at the canon equivalent. Even when we decided that Goku and Suno were going to wind up together, though, I couldn't just leave Chi-Chi out in the cold. It felt wrong, as Chi-Chi wasn't really at fault for how she was represented by Toriyama. To borrow a phrase, she wasn't bad, she was just drawn that way. So, enter her relationship with Yamcha and their equally happy, equally stable domestic life.
- Speaking of Super, before we introduced Beerus, there was a brief discussion of having the GoD of Monkey Queen be a new one, and have it be one of the universes Zenou annihilated when he whittled it down to thirteen. I'm glad we didn't go there, because I'm not a big fan of downer endings.
- There actually was a plan for Tullece to make an actual in-story appearance with a full-blown Tree of Might arc between the Namek and Cell sagas, with a proper unveiling of Vegeta's Super Saiyan transformation. Zelenal talked me out of it, because it wouldn't fit within the timetable and he thought it was unnecessary, anyway, and I'm kind of glad we didn't do it in the end. Tullece would have broken the Power Pole to show how much of an asshole and not-Goku she was and if I did that, we wouldn't have gotten the scene of Goku giving it to Gohan. But hey, Tullece isn't confirmed dead yet, so she might just turn up someday.
- As some might have picked up on by the sheer NUMBER of Disney references sprinkled throughout the story, I LOVE musicals. I like to arrange scenes in my head by musical numbers on my playlists before creating them. The natural conclusion of this was that the Boo Saga was almost a musical. The closest this ever came to being canon was The post-script of Xi's rendition of "You're Welcome."
- Now here's a little secret you didn't know: I have terrible ideas. Chock-full of 'em. Sometimes I feel like if Zel wasn't here, this thing would be borderline-unreadable. Here's just a couple of the plans that never saw the light of day: Dende's Shenron, because Dende was much younger than Kami, was going to be a TOTALLY RADICAL DUDE, with a backwards baseball cap and sunglasses, who called everyone "bro" and their wishes "like, totally granted, brah." It was much funnier in my head. Another would have been to have Mr. Popo be Msr. Popo and speak with a comically-overblown French accent. Once again, funnier in theory than in practice.
That's just a little taste of the dozens of conversations that have happened over the last two years and change that have led to the creation of this story. Let me know if you want to hear more and if you have more questions. We might do this again sometime!