When The Lord Closes A Door
Chapter 11
After Maria had left, Georg slowly cleaned up the apartment and as he did, he spent a long time thinking. Somehow it seemed a little easier to remember his late wife after talking with Maria and he even took the opportunity to fish out a couple of photographs of Agathe that he had hidden away at the apartment and he tucked them inside his jacket pocket with the idea in mind of showing the children when they arrived home from boarding school.
But finally, Georg knew he had to return to the villa. Being honest with himself, he was putting off going back to Elsa as he felt so terrible about running out on her hours before and he didn't know how he was going to face her. Despite being decorated for bravery during his time in the Imperial navy, Georg knew that he was acting like a complete coward. But it was time to change all of that and face up to all the things that he had done wrong.
It was well after nightfall when Georg pulled into the driveway. He parked the car then unlocked the front door. The villa was in darkness and glancing at his watch, Georg realised that the staff would have already retired for the night. Georg wondered where Elsa was, but walking down the front entry steps into the grand hallway, he saw dim light coming from the parlour.
Quietly, he crept over to the parlour door and stood at the threshold. There was a single lamp on in the corner and Elsa was sitting on a sofa on the far side of her room staring off into space. Her eyes were red and puffy and devoid of her usual impeccable eye-make up. It was obvious she had been crying. Hesitantly, he softly cleared his throat and at once she looked up in his direction.
Immediately Elsa got to her feet. "Georg, you're back," she breathed. "You were gone so long – I was worried."
"Yes, I know," replied Georg uncomfortably before the words just tumbled out of his mouth. "Elsa, I'm so sorry I ran out on you earlier. My behaviour was inexcusable and insensitive. You needed me and I just… left. I beg your forgiveness. All I can do to explain is tell you that when you told me about your illness, all I could think about was when I lost Agathe and now with you…"
"Georg, please stop," Elsa put up her hand. "I understand. I do, really. I realised after you left how the news of my illness would have affected you knowing how tragically you lost your first wife. I know it was also a bit of a shock to hear the news the way you did, especially after I had kept all the tests and procedures a secret from you. So really, there's no need to apologise."
Georg opened his mouth to reply but she cut him off. "However, when you hadn't returned, I started to worry. I hoped that you hadn't gone and done something foolish."
"I, uh, went to the apartment," Georg explained honestly. "I needed time to think."
At once, the calm look on Elsa's face turned to a scowl. "I see," replied Elsa stiffly. She paused for a moment before asking, "Did you sleep with her?"
Georg was thrown by her question and suddenly he felt a wave of cold wash over him. "I-I beg your pardon?" he stammered.
"Maria," clarified Elsa bluntly. "I assume that's who you were with there."
Instantly Georg felt like someone had sucker punched him in the gut. How did she know? he wondered.
The panicked look on his face gave him away completely. But before Georg could reply, Elsa shook her head. "So, I was right," she hissed scornfully under her breath before looking back up at him, her eyes blazing. "Georg, I'll ask you again. Did you sleep with her?"
Georg stared at Elsa for a moment, his heart thumping in his chest. He knew he could lie and say that nothing happened, that Maria wasn't there and that Elsa was being ridiculous, but he was fed up with lies.
"No, I didn't," he answered truthfully, "but I wanted to. I kissed her though. Many times."
Elsa gasped. She hadn't been expecting Georg to be so honest.
"I love her," Georg stated plainly and simply.
There was silence. Elsa's bottom lip trembled and she squeezed her eyes shut. It was that moment all over again: seeing her Captain gazing lovingly into the eyes of his governess. It was like a knife being plunged right into her heart. "Oh, I should hate you for saying that," she whispered.
"Do you?" Georg asked. "Do you hate me?"
Elsa shook her head slowly. "No. No, I don't, despite everything. But I think you probably should be hating me," she added after a second.
"You? Why?" Georg was confused.
Elsa bit her lip and swallowed hard. She'd held her secret close to herself for long enough. She could no longer take the guilt that ate away at her for what she had done. It was time to tell him. "Georg, I, uh… d-did something… something I'm not proud of. To Maria."
"To Maria?" he repeated, scratching his head. "I don't understand."
"I think you better come and sit down," she said as her legs practically gave way underneath her and she plopped down on the sofa behind her. Georg came and sat next to her and waited for Elsa to speak.
"I-it was the night of the party," Elsa began hesitantly. "I'd been watching the way the two of you had been looking at each other for weeks before and then I walked out onto the patio during the party to find you dancing together. I could see it, even if the two of you couldn't. You were in love with each other and I was about to lose you. I was so jealous and desperate I couldn't think straight. So… when Maria left the party to change for dinner, I followed her upstairs."
"You went up to her room?"
"Yes," Elsa answered uncomfortably.
"What exactly did you say to her?" Georg demanded. Elsa took a deep breath then repeated what she'd said to Maria that night and what Maria had said in return. Over the months that she and Georg had been married, Elsa had tried to forget the encounter that she'd had with Maria that night only to find the words burned into her memory.
When Elsa finished relaying the conversation she'd had with Maria, Georg sat there in stony silence. "So that's why she really left?" he finally asked Elsa. She nodded faintly.
Georg got to his feet and walked over to the window, the fingers on his left-hand wriggling in agitation. He stared out into the inky blackness of the night. "She never told me," he muttered to himself, angry that he was only just finding this out now.
"Maria didn't want you to know," Elsa explained. "In fact, she made me promise to never tell you."
Georg spun around. "But if she didn't want you to tell me, why are you breaking your promise and telling me now?"
Elsa let out a small, pitiful laugh. "Georg, we've been lying and deceiving each other for long enough. Things have changed now. I'm dying! It's probably time we stopped these games and were honest with each other for a change."
Georg nodded slowly, knowing she was right. There had been too many lies and deceit between them, but to find out that Elsa was the reason that Maria really left that night, he was furious. He clenched his fists and gritted his teeth.
"You're angry," said Elsa, more of statement than a question.
"I am," he growled.
Georg was nearly about to unleash a tirade of abuse towards Elsa but then he saw her drained, anxious and sick face and he stopped. There was no point in arguing or going over all the 'what-ifs' that could have happened. It wouldn't fix things. It wouldn't reverse the fact that he had cheated on Elsa. It also wouldn't bring him and Maria together, nor would it bring Elsa back to full health. He was just as much at fault as was Elsa. He relaxed his hands and slumped his shoulders. "But being angry isn't going to change anything, is it? What's done is done." He rubbed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to release the tension.
"But there's something else too," Elsa continued hesitantly, knowing how angry Georg was. "I knew you were having second thoughts about marrying me, especially knowing I would never be the sort of mother you envisaged for your children and I could see you pining for Maria from practically the moment she was gone. Well… Remember how you didn't want me to put the engagement notice in the paper before you spoke to the children but I did anyway? Well, I suspected that perhaps Maria might return after a day or so after being back with those nuns and I was worried that the moment you saw her, you'd realise what a mistake it was proposing to me and break off our engagement. And I couldn't let that happen. So, I suppose the engagement notice became my little insurance policy to firstly make sure that Maria wouldn't return and secondly, to hold you to your word to go through with the marriage, no matter how many doubts you were having."
Georg couldn't quite believe what he was hearing. "So, what you're telling me is you scared off the competition then ensured she never came back just to trap me into fake marriage?"
Elsa nodded. "Something like that."
"Why?"
She shrugged. "Georg, you are rich and handsome and such a prize for any woman. For so long you courted me and toyed with my emotions not-to-mention that everyone was under the impression that it was just a matter of time before you would propose to me. But I could see that all slipping away as you fell in love with the governess… I mean, Georg, the governess for heaven's sake! I was about to be completely humiliated so I did what I had to do to get the prize I deserved and protect my reputation. But now I can see how wrong I was and I'm sorry."
"So, you ruined my life, Maria's life and your own just to protect your precious reputation?" Elsa nodded sadly. "Oh Elsa," Georg sighed, "it didn't have to be this way…" Elsa bowed her head in shame.
It was all such a mess, thought Georg and he needed a drink. Without saying anything else, Georg walked to the other side of the room and poured himself a whiskey. He poured Elsa a glass of sherry as well then handed it to her as he sat back down next to her. As she took the first sip, Elsa began to cough. Instinctively, Georg rubbed her back as her body became racked with coughing spasms and he felt guilty that, no matter what, this is where he should have been all along comforting Elsa in her illness, rather than running off to Maria. Yet, there was no doubt how furious he was to discover all that Elsa had done to scare Maria away and trap him into loveless marriage. He sighed in despair as Elsa recovered from her coughing fit and relaxed back into the sofa. They had both lied and deceived and done the most abominable things to each other and Georg wondered how on earth they were going to proceed from there.
Finally, Elsa sat up and turned to Georg. "Listen Georg, while you were gone today, I had a lot of time to think about us and what I've done. I was selfish and dishonest. I manipulated and lured you into this marriage knowing all too well that you were in love with someone else. It was a mistake and I'm sorry. I should have packed my little bags and returned to Vienna where I belonged while I had the chance and bowed out graciously. Now I'm sick and unfortunately, my days are numbered so there's not much opportunity for me to redeem myself. So perhaps now is the best time for us to part ways. I'll give you anything you want – a divorce, or amicable separation, or whatever. I still have my villa in Vienna and I was thinking that I'll go back there. Bernard has a practice in the city and there are excellent hospitals there which can make my final days… easier."
She paused, waiting for Georg's response. But she got none. He was staring off into space deep in thought, his hands pressed together with his fingers splayed.
"Err… I'll pack my little bags and make the arrangements to return to Vienna in the morning." When he still didn't say anything, she stood and began to walk out of the room. She was at the door when she heard him call out. "No."
Elsa turned. Georg had risen from his seat and was staring at her with that same fierce determination that caused her to be attracted to him in the first place. "I beg your pardon?" she asked.
He took a step towards her. "Elsa, there is no doubt how furious I am for the things that you have done. And I've done some terrible things to you in return. I've cheated and lied to you and I'm sorry. I think both of us are in agreement about what a mistake our marriage was. However, the fact remains that we are married and we made certain promises to each other, and I'm not willing to walk away from my responsibilities to you."
"Georg, you don't have to – "
"Elsa, I want to. It would go against everything that I am as a man to allow you to leave now, to return to Vienna sick and dying. No. Besides, before all of this started - before Maria and before all the lies and deception, we were good friends, weren't we?" Elsa nodded in agreement. "Despite everything that has happened, I still do care for you deeply. And think about it this way…" Georg smiled for the first time, "if you stay here, it'll give Hilda von Doss less to gossip about."
Elsa let out a weak laugh.
"So," Georg continued, "we'll get you a nurse who can live-in, if needs be, and make sure that you get the best care. Also, I'd like to speak to this doctor friend of yours to find out more about your condition and what we can do to make things easier for you."
Tears swelled in Elsa's eyes. She never expected Georg to be so gracious towards her, especially after her many revelations about what she had done to Maria. "Georg, I don't know what to say." She stepped forward to give him a hug but he put up his hand, stopping her.
"I have two conditions though," he stated seriously.
"Yes?"
"The first: absolute brutal honesty. I think we have damaged each other enough by all the lies and deceit and there is a lot of broken trust between us. If we are going to do this together, we both need to be completely truthful with each other."
Elsa nodded, accepting his first condition. "But that goes for you too, Georg."
Georg raised his eyebrows. "Me?"
"Maria," Elsa clarified at once. "I want you to tell me everything that's ever happened between you two – even if it's hard for me to hear."
Georg briefly paused before answering. He knew how much he'd hurt Elsa by behaving the way he had with Maria. But Elsa was right – if they were ever going to move forward together, he had to be honest about everything. "Yes, I will," he answered. "But there's no need for you to worry about her. It's over. Maria knows and understands what needs to happen and that you are my priority from now on. There is absolutely nothing between us anymore."
"Good," replied Elsa thankfully. "And now your second condition?"
"The children," Georg stated firmly. "It was against my best judgement when you persuaded me to send them away to boarding school. They will be home for summer holidays in a week and after the summer, they will not be returning to that horrid place. They will stay here and attend the local school."
"Who will look after them?" Elsa asked. "Another governess?"
"There will never be another governess," replied Georg, hearing the poignancy of his words. Maria was irreplaceable in his mind in more ways than one. "I will look after them."
"You?" Elsa was skeptical.
Georg chuckled. "You seem surprised. I am their father, after all. And it's about time I acted like it." He knew that Maria would approve of it and sensed that Agathe would have too.
Elsa smiled and held out her hand to Georg. He took it and they shook upon their agreement then embraced. Things were going to be different from now on.