When the Lord Closes a Door
Chapter 14
"I wonder what they're talking about," Louisa asked, looking out towards the lakeside where her father and their former governess stood talking quietly together.
"No idea," replied Liesl lazily, stretching out on the grass. "It is strange though, Fraulein Maria being here today. She wasn't even due to come today, but then she just turned up unannounced and with them." Liesl inclined her head towards the three small children Maria now looked after playing happily with her younger siblings. The two girls were making flower necklaces from the clover in the grass with Marta and Gretl, while little Jakob played catch with Kurt and Friedrich.
"Fraulein Maria has never brought them before, has she?" commented Louisa. "They are nice children and after all she has told us about them, I am pleased to have finally met them. But it is quite odd that Fraulein Maria has suddenly brought them over here today."
"Even more bizarre that she's talking to Father," Brigitta said. "Fraulein Maria has been coming here to visit each week for over a month now, and not once has she said more than two words to Father, apart from asking him to drive her home. And now they're been talking for almost half an hour!"
The three girls watched their father and Maria in silence for the next few minutes. "Ughhh…," moaned Louisa. "I really wish I knew what they were talking about."
"Maybe it's to do with my theory?" Brigitta suggested. At once, both Liesl and Louisa groaned loudly.
"Not this again!" Liesl exclaimed.
"What's wrong with my theory?" asked Brigitta, slightly offended.
"Oh the theory…" Louisa rolled her eyes before clearing her throat. Then putting on her best Brigitta-like voice she said. "My theory is," she began to recite as if she'd heard the theory many times over, "is that Father and Fraulein Maria secretly fell in love when she was our governess. So secret, in fact, that they both didn't even know they were in love with each other until they danced then Laender together at the party. Then," Louisa paused for dramatic effect before switching into a intense storytelling voice, "the Baroness, furious and all consumed with jealousy, forced Fraulein Maria to leave. And Father, completely distraught and under the belief that Fraulein Maria actually really wanted to be a nun and was never coming back, proposed to the Baroness, even though he wasn't in love with her. And poor Fraulein Maria, once she realised she would never be a nun, wanted to come back and declare her love for Father, but she never did after she found out that Father was to be married and so she will been destined to be a governess, miserable and alone for the rest of her life. The End."
Louisa started giggling and Brigitta poked her so hard that she rolled onto her side where she lay in a heap continuing to laugh hysterically.
"Stop laughing!" Brigitta cried. "I don't know what you find my theory so funny. It makes perfect sense! You remember the way we used to see Father and Fraulein Maria look at each other when they thought no one was looking. It could be possible."
"Yes, possible," Liesl agreed, "although unlikely. It sounds like a plot from a bad romance novel."
"Oh that's right," Brigitta retorted sarcastically. "You're the expert in romance novels, aren't you Liesl? I saw the latest one you've been reading hidden under your pillow!"
Liesl childishly poked her tongue out at her as Louisa sat back up. "I wish I knew how to lip-read," Louisa bemoaned as she sat back up and stared once again at their father and Maria standing at the boat landing.
"Maybe you don't have to," Liesl suddenly said standing up. "I feel like a walk, don't you?" Brigitta nodded and stood up too.
"No," Louisa scowled before she worked out what Liesl was up to. Her face broke into a big smile. "Oh yes! A walk sounds great. I really need to stretch my legs!"
The three girls began to stroll casually in the direction of the boat landing.
Meanwhile, Maria had just finished telling Georg of all that had happened over the past 12 hours or so. The antique shop that her employers, Ezekiel and Ruth owned and ran had been broken into overnight and they had both been bashed and hurt before the shop had been trashed. Maria had been upstairs at the time with the children and had been lucky to escape the ordeal. Georg hadn't said much while Maria spoke, just listened with a solemn expression on his face.
"Are they alright?" he asked.
"Yes, I think so overall, but very shaken. Ruth has quite a few bruises, however Ezekiel is quite battered, with many bruises and cuts over his face and he thinks his wrist and a couple of ribs may be broken."
Georg shook his head in disbelief. "This seems to be happening more and more recently. Targeted attacks on Jewish people. Robberies, violence, some even being hauled away in the middle of the night never to be seen again. I've heard reports of camps north of us, in Germany, where the Jews and others, like gypsies are taken. Horrors, I believe. Most never are seen again…" he paused. "It's fortunate that the police arrived when they did," Georg remarked.
"I know. Calling the police was all I could think of to do. I was so scared. I knew I had a job to keep the children safe so I couldn't go down there and help them myself."
"And it would have been foolish for you to have tried," Georg told her. "No, you did the right thing. And the right thing today coming here to me."
"I'm sorry to bring this all on you," Maria said, swallowing hard and blinking away the tears that were forming in her eyes. "I just needed to get the children away somewhere safe."
"And they are safe. Look!" he glanced over in the direction of his children playing happily with Maria's charges. "It's nice for them to all be together."
"I know," Maria replied looking away and out across the lake. She grasped onto the metal railing of the gate that led to the water and bit down on her lip. She squeezed her eyes shut, willing herself not to cry. She was exhausted, after barely sleeping the night before and all the worry and fear had built up on top of her.
Georg didn't know what to do. He hated seeing Maria this way. He desperately wanted to take her in his arms and comfort her, but he knew, most definitely, that he could not. He had to keep his distance at all costs. He thought he had been doing very well at that, especially with the very minimal interactions he would have with Maria during her visits to the villa. Even during the car trips back and forth when he would pick Maria up then take her back home, they would barely talk, instead preferring just to listen to music from the radio. If any conversation started, it was only ever about the children. In fact, this was the most they'd spoken to each other in weeks.
"So where are Ezekiel and Ruth now?" he asked.
"They're with friends. After the police left, they took us in for the remainder of the night. Then I said I would take the children today to give them time. Ezekiel and Ruth both know they can't stay any longer with these attacks going on. As horrible as last night was, in ways many they were lucky. But maybe next time they won't be so fortunate." Maria paused and turned to meet his eyes. "Georg, they're planning on leaving Salzburg. As soon as they can."
Georg nodded, understanding completely. "That's probably a good idea to get out of Austria and get somewhere safe quickly, such as Switzerland, Italy or France. At the moment, as least with Austria still belonging to herself, the police can be of some help, like last night. But once the Anschluss occurs, everyone will be at the mercy of the Nazi's, and that would not be a good thing." He gave an involuntary shudder.
"No, it would not," Maria agreed. She paused for a moment. "Georg, there's something else…"
"Hmm?"
Maria was about to continue but out of the corner of her eye, she spied the three oldest von Trapp girls wandering by trying to look inconspicuous. But Maria wasn't fooled, she knew those girls far too well to believe that they were just out for a leisurely stroll. No, she was pretty sure they were trying to eavesdrop.
"Walk with me?" she asked Georg and inclined her head towards the gazebo and away from little ears to overhear.
They walked slowly together for a few moments in silence until Maria was sure they were out of earshot of the girls. "Georg, Ezekiel and Ruth have asked me to go with them."
"What?!" Georg exclaimed loudly and stopped on the spot. Maria quickly shushed him knowing the girls were following nearby.
Georg immediately lowered his voice. "Maria, you can't seriously be contemplating going with them, are you?" he hissed.
Maria swallowed hard. "I don't know," she whispered. "I do love the children and I would miss them very much once they go, but I do feel sort of obligated to the family. They have done so much for me and I don't want to let them down."
"But it's dangerous! Don't you realise that if the Nazi's catch you, you'll be subjected to the same fate as the family, irrespective of the fact that you're not Jewish."
"Maybe that won't happen," Maria countered. "If I explained…"
"Wake up Maria!" Georg cried. "There is no discussion with these people. They don't ask questions, or listen to reason… Maria, please… don't do this." Georg pleaded with her. He couldn't comprehend why she would willingly put herself in danger like that. He could understand her wanting to be loyal to the family she'd lived and worked for the last year, but couldn't she see reason?
"But I don't think I have a choice," she began, feeling defeated. "If I stayed, I don't have anywhere else to go…" she admitted in a small voice.
"Don't you have family you could go to?" he asked.
"You know I don't have any family left alive, Georg. My uncle was the last one left, and he died just before I entered the Abbey."
"Well, what about the Abbey? I'm sure the Reverend Mother would be happy to help."
"Perhaps. But I don't know if I can really get much help there. I'm not a nun, nor will I ever be a nun. Even if the Reverend Mother was willing to take me in, it would only be for a few days or so. She was very clear when I left that I needed to stand on my own two feet and live the life I was born to live."
"And friends? Is there anyone you could go to for help?"
Maria shook her head sadly. "I only have a few passing acquaintances. No one close that I could go to."
Georg was silent for a moment. He knew what he wanted to ask, but knew that he shouldn't. But he was desperate. It was bad enough that Ezekiel and Ruth and the children needed to flee and he was worried about their future, but didn't want Maria to go and put herself in danger either. Even though it was stepping across the invisible boundary he had placed between himself and Maria, he knew at least he had to offer. "You could always stay here."
"Here?" Maria exclaimed.
"We have more than enough room and the children would be delighted. They love having you around."
Maria threw her hands up over her head and spun around. She took several steps towards the gazebo before stopping and turning back to face him. "I can't believe you actually suggested that! Not after everything that has happened. It is hard enough coming back here each week and seeing you, let alone staying here."
"I understand you're hesitant, but…"
"Hesitant? I'm more than hesitant! What about the Baroness? What would she have to say about it? Each week I come here expecting and hoping to be able to speak with her and apologise for everything, but she's never well enough to come down from her room and see me when I'm here. So how could I ever consider coming to stay in your house when we still haven't had a chance to speak to one another and resolve everything that has happened between us?"
"Maria, I know and I understand. It's hard and I am sorry that you still haven't been able to speak to Elsa yet. But she's quite sick and becoming sicker each and every day. To be honest with you, I hadn't expected her to go downhill quite so quickly. She hasn't even seen the children in weeks either. I have wanted to protect them from seeing her so sick. But, I can assure you that she is pleased that you're here and she still wants to make amends with you."
"I am sorry about that Georg, I truly am," she said sympathetically before she shook her head sadly. "But that's even more reason why I can't come back here. If the Baroness is as sick as you say, then I especially don't want to be intruding on what must be a sensitive and very difficult time."
"Maria… You would never be intruding. It would be a pleasure to have you here."
Maria nodded faintly, like she was considering what he was saying. "But if I came back, what would you expect, Georg? That I just step back into the role of the dutiful governess? I can't do that!"
"No, of course you won't be expected to be their governess again. You'd be here as the children's friend and my guest."
"Your guest," she repeated to herself, squeezing her eyes shut and placing her palms against her flushed cheeks. She turned around and took several steps towards the gazebo and lent against the frame of the open doorway. Maria sniffed away a tear. She had always hoped for, and imagined to herself, the day when she would come to live back at the villa. Not as a governess, or simply a guest, but as Georg's wife. But everything about the present situation just highlighted to her more and more that it never was going to happen. Ever. Georg was married, his wife was dying and she would never be anything else to him apart from a friend.
Maria had told herself time and time again just to accept it and move on, but she could not. And what was even more difficult was that each time she thought she was close to moving on, Georg would re-appear and re-ignite all the feelings for him she had been trying so hard to supress. In particular, the last few weeks had been agony for her with seeing Georg and being around him when she visited the children, yet the distance he had put between them made any time together unbearable. Now she had an opportunity to leave, even for an uncertain future, and here he was begging her to stay. He was torturing her.
"Why are you doing this?" Maria asked Georg, her back still turned away from him.
Georg was taken by surprise. "Why am I doing this? W-well, I've just told you," he fumbled. "I'm concerned about your safety and I'm trying to be hospitable."
Maria spun back around. She could see through him instantly. "That's not the real reason, and you know it."
Georg didn't answer immediately. Maria at once saw the pained look on his face and she knew. Georg was as easy to read as an open book once he let his guard down. There was no point trying to lie to each other now. They both knew all too well how he felt about her. The cold, hard truth of it was: Georg didn't want her to leave because he loved her, even though he couldn't offer her anything more than friendship. Georg knew it was wrong and he was being selfish but he just didn't want to lose her. "Maria, do you really want me to say it?" he whispered finally.
"No, I suppose not," Maria replied with a deep sigh and she sat down on the stone bench near the gazebo. "And that's the exact reason you know I can't come and stay here. I can't be here with you."
Georg was silent. She was right. Even in a house as large as his, they could never quite avoid each other completely. And the self-imposed distance that he'd been putting between them had been difficult enough, let alone trying to live under the same roof. The children would notice straight away and as for Elsa, he needed to think of her well-being above all else.
"So it appears I've run out of options," Maria remarked quietly.
"No," Georg protested, realising immediately what she meant. Maria would have to leave with Ezekiel and Ruth and the children. "I'm sure there must be something else you could do. If it's money you need…"
"I don't want your money, Georg!" Maria cried. "Look, I have a lot of thinking to do and I don't think talking about it anymore with you is going to help." She glanced back towards the house where she could see the older girls casually walking towards them, trying to look inconspicuous. "And I certainly don't want the children to overhear us talking about this. We've been talking long enough. I should go."
"Maria…" Georg began as she stood up. "Wait…" He reached out and grabbed her arm as she moved to walk past him.
"Georg, let me go," Maria responded, trying to pull her arm back. Their eyes met and she gave him a pleading look. "Please… you have to let me go."
Georg gave a faint nod and he released his grip and Maria's arm dropped back down to her side. She gave him a sad smile, then turned away. As he watched Maria walk away about to join Liesl, Louisa and Brigitta in the garden, Georg started to wrack his brain to try and think of a way to convince her to change her mind. She must change her mind! he thought.
But if she didn't, then he knew that if Maria decided to leave Salzburg for good, that he would have no choice but to just let her go.
A/N: I know many readers are waiting and expecting the confrontation between Elsa and Maria and may be disappointed that it didn't happen in this chapter. Please don't worry: it'll come and within the next couple of chapters, I promise! This story was always going to take a bit of a turn here and this is now setting things up for the next part of the plot.
I'd love some feedback on this chapter, so please send me a review and let me know what you think. Still lots more to come and I'm trying really hard to write quickly!