I was rewatching The Bold Type and my beautiful, tiny Jane gave me some great inspiration. So, this chapter contains ~LEMONS~ y'all - my first, so be metaphorically gentle with me.

Thank you to my amazing beta EdwardsFirstKiss for making me wonder how much pain vampires feel.

If lemony things aren't your thing, well.. this is rated M for a reason. It definitely felt odd/difficult writing it, though, and I hope that doesn't show.

You be the moon, I'll be the earth
And when we burst
Start over, oh, darling
Begin again
Begin again
Begin again

I'd gone about two and a half miles before I slowed, taking a deep breath. I didn't scent anyone, or Edward, nearby, so I let my senses range out, searching for something hot and wet and unfortunately, animal. While I had never actually tasted human blood, courtesy of Carlisle's meticulousness, the scent alone was plenty tempting enough to clue me in that I was most certainly missing out.

The scent of a bigger buck to the east caught my attention, and I took off in pursuit, mindlessly letting my body do the work. It was easier this way in the sense that I didn't overthink or over complicate the simple function of just feeding. Instead, I just let it be natural, like so little else in my life.

I crested a small ridge when I saw him, drinking from the estuary on the far side of the reserve. I didn't bother to stalk or sneak, instead just launching like a rocket and latching onto the thick pulsing point at the neck.

The buck was almost drained when another scent permeated my senses, something mahogany and honey and sunshine that invaded and overshadowed everything else completely.

I just kind of let the deer fall, flopping onto the wet grass flailing and gasping. I couldn't think of anything else, couldn't see a singular other thing except for Edward standing there. The look on his face was reminiscent of the bar, when he had looked impressed and in awe, this time wearing a thoughtful grin.

I could feel my chest heaving, my entire body vibrating, like my subconscious was fighting the natural impulse to go over to him and give in to the urges I'd been combatively resisting. My subconscious was going to lose - I was too far detached from my own head to override this.

It felt like I was trapped in a riptide, being pulled slowly yet violently toward him and resistance was futile. Something in me registered that this was inevitable and that, no matter how long or hard I railed and fought against it, I would have always come back to this point… to him.

My approach was steady but hurried, long strides bringing me face to face with him. His face blanched, as though he thought I was mad at him, so my eyes must have been more dark and hard than I was consciously aware of.

My hands twisted in the front of his shirt so I could drag his head down to mine.

My mouth captured his, searching and needy. Our lips clashed harmoniously, moving in tandem as his hands came up and rested on my upper arms.

He pushed me away just slightly, his voice somewhat breathy. "Bell, we have to stop. I won't be able to stop if we keep-"

I crashed into him again, my teeth nipping at his bottom lip before my tongue flicked out, seeking entrance.

I had just barely heard him moan into my mouth before I was flipping and twisting through the air, my back roughly smacking on the ground. Edward's weight was straddling me, his hands ripping my shirt clean in two. The long grass underneath us curled and bent, caressing my bare ribs and arms.

I growled, pressing my hips up into his and twining my fingers into his bronze hair. I felt a breeze run across my exposed skin, and I imagined it was his tongue. The idea made me want to moan, but then his teeth were nipping back at my bottom lip as his hands snaked up my body, dragging flaming trails from my hips, across my belly, where they stopped for a moment on my still-clad breasts. His fingers flexed, the gentle squeeze sending a thrum down past my navel. One hand continued its upward journey, a rough hand sliding up to my shoulder, then along the path of my arm where he grabbed my wrist and pried it loose from his hair.

I was worried for a beat that he didn't like my less-than-gentle tugging, but he only moved it to lay over my head, then moved on to my other hand, placing it next to the other. Then both hands dragged across my body again, lingering on my breasts for a moment until I started to move my arms to touch him. A hand shot up, somehow clasping around both wrists and pinning them above my head.

Again a growl snaked through my lips, still pressed against his, and he silenced it by sliding his tongue along mine, sufficing to make me forget my annoyance with being restrained. Our tongues clashed clumsily for a moment before they danced in earnest. That, and Edward apparently getting annoyed with my bra, because he fettered both of my hands with one of his and, using his other, hooked a finger into the middle and ripped, pushing the now-broken garment aside to give him full access to my wanting flesh.

Somewhat annoyed again when his mouth left mine, it was immediately replaced by a forceful wave of something totally alien to me when his mouth closed over a firm nipple. His tongue circled the area, nimbly evading where I wanted the most attention before he sucked, making me gasp. The way he alternated his ministrations, leisurely licking one nipple before biting, then sucking the other. It was just fucking intense. My brain was starting to come back online and I desperately did not want it to.

This was all an aside to the painful ache directly between my legs. I felt wet, a veritable lagoon in my panties, and every time his tongue would flick or his teeth would graze my skin, my hips would jerk upward, desperate for any sort of friction. My hands being bound above my head was an oddly erotic torture, unable to touch him or myself, completely and wholly at his mercy.

Edward played with me like that for what felt like an eternity, just worshiping my breasts and nipples, occasionally moving up to capture my mouth with his or bite and suck on my neck. I loved the way it made my body feel, delectable pleasure and pain and anticipation, but holy fuck I needed him to fuck me.

He had just moved again, biting my neck, my pelvis gyrating against his erection in frantic greed, when I couldn't take it anymore.

"More, please. I'm begging you. Please." My voice - breathy, needy, wanting - made him stop, his face inches from mine. Our eyes met, and he seemed to be searching for something. Perhaps wondering if I was testing him, after so much time running away and playing hard to get. The only hard thing I wanted to get was his long, hard member lodged fully inside me.

His golden eyes, which had seemed to be swirling and molten just a moment before, hardened, sending a thrill up my toes and directly to my burning, aching pussy. He commanded me to leave my hands above my head in a rough, firm voice before he lifted his weight off me. As he stood he pulled his shirt up and over his head, giving me an excellent angle to marvel at the smooth planes of his upper body. I was sorely tempted to disobey, just to see what would happen, but then his shorts were slipping down his hips and all I could do was literally salivate at the sight of him completely naked before me.

He was definitely as long as I had imagined, and almost as thick as my wrist. Without thinking, I started to bring my hands up to touch when abruptly he was on top of me, my wrists shackled once again by his hands. His tongue snaked along my lower lip, causing a moan to escape without my meaning to. His dominance melted something in me, the caged sexual creature more than happy to allow this man to take control for the moment. Briefly I wondered if his behavior should worry me, but then he was using one hand to slip into my joggers, his fingers barely brushing my pussy, and I decided I didn't just like his dominance and aggression - I fucking needed it.

The way his hand deftly moved, dancing along my swollen outer lips, then just barely grazing my clit, was heaven and fucking hell. Every time I thought he'd get close, he'd dance away to stroke down my thigh before slithering back without ever quite satisfying the sensation I was craving. Finally, without warning, a finger slipped inside me, making me gasp at the abrupt invasion. His mouth crashed into mine as he slid another finger in, then another.

Our mouths moved in tandem, tongues dancing, teeth flashing and nipping and biting, but his hand remained still. Demand blossomed in my belly, frustrated he was teasing me, so I thrust my hips up again and moaned in the sensation it elicited. I was rewarded with his fingers withdrawing, his palm cupping my mound but otherwise not touching me. I growled, getting angry, before he silenced me with another kiss. When he spoke, our lips were still connected.

"If you don't want me to stop, then stay still. You've had your way - now, it's my turn. I'm in control, or we can stop. It's up to you how we proceed." His teeth grazed my top lip, making me gasp, although my eyes were locked onto his in disbelief and rage. We stayed that way, his hand in my pants and maddeningly unmoving, our eyes locked, as I weighed my options.

I did love the way he was making me feel, the lust and desire blanketing every other thought in my head like a thick haze. The only alternative was to continue being obstinate for the sake of it, and getting nothing. Mulishly, I closed my eyes and forced my body to relax under his as a sign of my acquiescence. My mumbled 'Yes, sir' was garbled and cut off as his fingers slipped back into my throbbing center, moving ever so lightly now.

I could feel every centimeter of his fingers as they slid up and down my passage, making me groan, my back arching off the grass and my naked chest pressing into his. Then his thumb joined in, flicking over the overly-sensitive bundle of nerves of my clit, and my teeth clenched together before opening in another gasp.

All of the times I had sex as a human had never felt like this. Surely it was because I had been mortal, unable to fully appreciate the onslaught of sensation. However, none of the men I had been with had ever given a damn about my pleasure - I had been a means to their gratification only. Now that the attention was on me, it was difficult to process how I felt about it. His insistent touching didn't give much time for consideration, though.

I had never felt this way before, awash in a sensation I didn't understand but wanted to swallow and drown in. It felt like there was a knot in my pelvis, expanding and contracting with every thrust of his fingers, growing each time he moved in and out and with each flick and rub of his thumb. I found myself clenching my walls around him, wanting to feel more, to hold on to the swelling tangle, feeling like my body was getting higher and more taut with each pass.

Without warning he pulled his hand out, commanding me again to leave my hands above my head as he moved off me. I could only lay there panting, feeling distinctly dejected, like I had missed out on something, as he slid my pants and underwear from my hips and tossed them into a pile with his clothing. With an unexpected amount of care and gentleness he bent my legs before settling his body between them, his tip hovering in front of my entrance.

He brought a hand up to cup my chin, looking me eye-to-eye as he asked, "Are you sure, Bell? Tell me to stop, and we stop. We only do this if you want to, and I don't know how gentle I can be. I need to know you want this."

The idea he was considering my past, wanting to verify I actually wanted to have sex with him, was both irritating and touching. Rather than ruin the mood with the sharp remarks poised on my tongue, I nodded mutely. Still he didn't move, so I swallowed the knee-jerk spite back before I spoke and demurely said, "I'm sure. I need you. Please."

Apparently satisfied once I had vocalized my consent, he entered me fully with one hard thrust. I gasped through the abrupt shock of his invasion, which bled into pleasure as he immediately began to move, my walls clenching to feel every hard, driving inch. His head bowed, mouth clasping onto a nipple to bite and suck.

I threw my head back as a hand came up to fetter my wrists again, but his rough, angry grip was welcome this time. I pressed against it, reveling in the sensation of him holding me down as he pounded into me steady and relentlessly. He wasn't wrong, he wasn't being gentle, but I found that didn't necessarily mean it was without pleasure.

Something about being bound was erotic and intoxicating, my fight and his resistance sending pangs of desire to my nipples and clit in time with his cock's merciless rhythm. I found myself wanting more - sensation, stimulation - than just his thrusting and dogged assault of my nipples, so I told him.

At my gasping plea for more, please, his other hand moved off my hip to between our legs where it circled around my clit again. The tangled sensation was back, driven into fresh existence when he began fucking me, but coming alive in earnest from his digital ministrations.

I found myself wanting more still, the ill-defined cluster of desire and pleasure becoming more ephemeral and elusive the bigger it got, but I had no idea what. I could only lie there and enjoy the remaining onslaught, having no idea what else I needed to ask for in order for the throbbing in my pelvis to find its release. As I was about to cry out in frustration, Edward began rubbing my clit with far more vigor.

I felt his lips near my ear, but found it difficult to concentrate on anything but that feeling building in my belly, like a water balloon getting filled to bursting.

"Do you want to come, Bell?"

I had no idea what he was talking about but I nodded furiously, sure that it couldn't be a bad thing.

His hand released my wrists, moving to grasp under one of my knees. He pulled my hips up slightly, the adjustment making his penetration somehow deeper. It also had an interesting effect in that every time he slid in and out of my greedy passage, I could feel his tip pressing into the once-intangible knot. His hands moved again, one set of fingers going back to rubbing on my clit, the others pinching and pulling on my nipples.

The new angle, combined with the other sensations, was making me delirious. I couldn't think of anything except this exact moment. His cock, wetly thrusting in and out of my aching pussy. His thumb, circling and rubbing and dancing around my clit. His other hand, tweaking my nipples in exceptionally skilled precision and the pulses of pleasure it was sending directly to my pussy.

It was like there was a cord inside of me, pulled taut to the point of snapping. When it was stretched to the max, as far as it would go, I felt something rumble forcefully within me like a tidal wave. As if anticipating the crashing wave, my body relaxed, a sigh escaping my lips, just as it thundered into me. My whole body exploded with the impact, my chest jerking up involuntarily as I spasmed around him, completely swept away in the sensation. Lights and fireworks crackled and popped beneath my eyelids, something like a moan and screech escaping my lips. All I could feel was overwhelming pleasure, pulsing and throbbing, my whole body shaking with the torrent.

Distantly I heard Edward grunt, his fingers tightly wound around my wrists again as his thrusting became more frantic and aggressive. Each time he pulled out and pounded back in sent fresh waves washing over me, and I was still riding them as I felt him find his own release. I wondered, somewhat dreamily, if he was still sliding in and out of me for my benefit, because the motion was still sending ripples of pleasure throughout my body.

Finally he stopped moving, his member still inside of me, as he kissed me firmly.

"You've never had an orgasm before, have you, Bell?"

God, I loved the way he said my name. I sighed contently as I shook my head, still trapped in the afterglow. I understood now what he had been asking me before, unaware that that's what I had been feeling and too caught up to process it. Truthfully, I didn't even know it was something I could have, since it had never been given to me before.

I felt him laugh against me, loving the way it made me feel with us still connected. Then his fingers brushing my cheek, which caused me to open my eyes to stare up at him.

He smiled, devilish and triumphant, as he kissed me again before he rested his forehead against me.

"I'm absurdly happy that I could give you your first." He pulled back, features contorting suddenly into a look of apprehension. "And hopefully more..?"

I moved my arms without asking to wrap them around his neck, pulling his face back to mine so I could kiss him more.

"Mmm, yes please."