Thanks to RitaFlirt for reviewing.

Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia.

DenCan: Meet the Parents

Mathias was happy to be dating Matthew. The Canadian was sweet, polite and thoughtful. The Dane felt like the luckiest guy alive. Plus, he was friends with Matthew's brother, Alfred, who everyone knew was rather protective of Matthew. Mathias felt like he had nothing to fear.

So when Matthew suggested that Mathias went over to his house to meet his parents, Mathias saw no reason to worry.

Oh how wrong he was.

The moment the door opened, Mathias was a little worried. He saw the stern face of a woman with sandy blond hair and violet eyes.

"Who are you?" the woman demanded.

"Uh… I'm Mathias. Mattie's boyfriend."

The woman smirked, before letting him come inside.

"Hey Mathias," Matthew said, coming down from the stairs. "I see you've met my mother."

"It's nice to meet you," Matthew's mother said, her voice suddenly as sweet as honey. "Matthew, why don't you come and help me in the kitchen. Mathias, is it? Feel free to sit in the living room."

Mathias shuddered at the dramatic change, before walking in the direction she indicated. Alfred was just coming out of the living room, and he smiled at Mathias.

"Good luck dude," Alfred said. "You're going to need it."

Mathias swallowed nervously, before walking in…

And he immediately saw what Alfred meant.

Matthew's dad was sitting on the couch, and he was sharpening knives. And not just one or two. At least twenty. And these weren't kitchen knives. These were hunting knives, and Mathias could swear that he saw throwing knives as well.

Not to mention, the man's face was scary. The expression and the look in his eyes… A man like that could make you feel guilty for three different lies before you opened your mouth.

"Hello," Matthew's father said. "You must be Mattie's boyfriend."

"T-that's right, s-sir," Mathias said, swallowing nervously. "I'm M-Mathias Kohler."

"Sit down," the man said, and Mathias hastily obeyed. "So, where're you from?"

"Copenhagen, Denmark," Mathias said.

"I see. I thought your accent sounded strange."

Mathias didn't want to say anything, especially when the man brought out an axe to sharpen. It might have been a small axe, and not the battle axe that was passed down in his family for generations and which was now at the family home in Denmark, but it was still rather threatening, and the Dane couldn't help but swallow nervously.

"And I also need to clean my guns later," Matthew's dad said offhandedly. "I have a shooting competition this weekend. See that trophy over there?" He gestured to a trophy in the corner. "That's from last year for best shooter. Because of me, my team win. We taught those policemen a thing or two."

"So, were you in the army?" Mathias asked, hoping that the answer was negative.

"No." And Mathias sighed in relief. "I'm a judge. So I get to hear a lot of bullshit coming from lawyers, and I've heard of hundreds of ways to kill people, and how to hide any evidence."

When Matthew finally came back for Mathias, the Dane was shaking like a leaf.

"Hey Mattie," Matthew's father said. "Did you tell him about that time you were playing paintball with those other two boys?"

"Vash and Tino?" Matthew asked. "Yeah, Mathias was there. Tino was the one that shot him."

Mathias's eyes widened. He had completely forgotten the time they had all gone to play paintball. Vash, Tino and Matthew were on the same team, and the other seventeen players were on the opposing team. The three were undefeated.

That was also when Mathias had decided that Matthew was a badass and he had started getting a crush on him. And…

"And aren't you going for those archery lessons too?" Matthew's father asked.

"Yeah," Matthew said.

Mathias looked over towards Matthew's father, and he saw the man smirk. The threat was clear.

Break his heart, and there'd be nothing of you left.

The prompt was 'telling the parents'.

Okay, so Matthew's parents were OCs, and they're kind of based on my own parents. My mom used to be a teacher, and she can get that scary-angry-aura that teachers often possess. And my sister recalled a conversation with a few friends, where one said our mom is scary. And another said 'You think her mom is scary? Wait 'til you meet her dad. He makes you feel guilty about three lies before you even open your mouth.' And my dad owns somewhere between 20 to 30 knives, hunting knives mostly, and three throwing knives. He also owns two axes and a few guns, and since he grew up in Apartheid, he had to do some military service, though he did manage to switch it out for police service. And yeah, he's a magistrate, which my sister observed is a guy-repellent. And the guys I talk to have no problem with that. And yeah, he has mentioned before that he knows many different ways to kill people and how to make sure that there's no evidence.

My sister has a bow with arrows, and she's also good with a gun. A year ago she went on a trip with the school, and they played paintball. At one stage, she went up against 10 or 11 guys, and she beat them all. Her greatest victory of that day was against this one guy who has his own paintball gun, who is a hunter, who's on the school's shooting team, who goes shooting every weekend… she made him bleed, so much that he told her afterwards that she beat the kak out of him. Not to mention that her best friend is one of the country's top kickboxers (actually he's 2nd in the world for his weight division, he has a black belt and is a sensei), he has SAs (which is national-level) for wrestling, and he's in the provincial rugby team, I think my sister mentioned that he's captain or something… Anyway, she learned how to beat people up from him.

And I'm wondering if I should ever bring a boy home…