The legalities: I do not own any of the Expendables franchise (characters, places, and objects especially) and this is mostly au.Rated M just to be on the safe side.

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Hope you enjoy!

Prompt: "Do you trust me?"

"No."

"Smart man."

Jacoba really hated her luck. Of all the people that she had to be paired with on this stupid mission (that she told Barney they shouldn't have taken in the first place), she just had to be paired with Mr. Egotistic himself, Church. They were the sniper team; her on the rifle and him as her lookout. This mission had, apparently, called for all of the muscle on the ground, which was the only reason why she was stuck with Church as opposed to her usual partner in sharpshooting, Gunnar. Taking a deep breath in once again, she focused once more on the task at hand, ensuring that the team had a clear shot to the target. And ignoring the fact that Church was watching her back.

"How are they doing?" Well, there went the whole "ignoring Church" plan that she had come up with. The man kept asking her for updates every couple of minutes or so. Most of the time, she just shushed him (they were supposed to be quiet, damnit), but this time she decided to humor him.

"Slow. How are our surroundings looking? Because I really don't want to have any goons sneak up on us. It would kind of defeat our purpose up here."

Jacoba could practically feel Church's eye roll and smirked as she kept her eyes focused on the team. She just loved to rile him up, though, in retrospect (for their current situation, at least), she should probably refrain from that for a while. But that wasn't the way that she went about things anymore; she blamed Gunnar.

"What's the matter, Amazon? Don't you trust me?"

Jacoba rolled her eyes before hissing back at him. "First off, would you quiet down? We are supposed to be the silent and near invisible back-up. And secondly, absolutely not. I don't trust you one lick."

Church grunted softly and, even though he was a good couple of feet away from her, she could practically feel him tense. Which confused her until he said, "Smart woman. We may have some trouble shortly."

Rolling her eyes once again, she shook her head before taking aim at a goon that was sneaking up on Gunnar and taking him down. "I guess it is a good thing that the guys just made their way out of the complex and are on the way back to the plane then, huh? Come on then, spy man. Lets get out of here."

"Do you take anything seriously, Amazon?"

She smirked as she turned her sniper rifle and took down all of the goons that were (attempting) to sneak up on her and Church. "Oh, come on Church. Where's the fun in doing that? Where's your sense of adventure?"

"I think I left it elsewhere."

Jacoba frowned at him before she threw Gunnar's big knife at the last of the goons that was advancing on them (she would give the Viking his weapon back eventually; until then she was going to have some fun). "Yeah, probably back at Langley. Alright them, Mr. Government, let's go before Barney decides to leave us both here."

"Ladies first."

"Jerk."