Thanks to Mondmaedchen, and ScandinavianTrash for reviewing.

Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia.

TurkIta: Fell on a Doorknob

"I swear, one of these days people will think that I'm abusing you," Sadiq sighed.

Feliciano laughed nervously, a packet of frozen vegetables pressed against his eye, which was rapidly gaining a purple colour.

"That would be pretty funny," Feliciano said.

The Turk shook his head, before glancing towards the door.

"How did you fall against the doorknob?" Sadiq asked.

"Um, I tripped," Feliciano said.

"Maybe I should wrap you in bubble wrap."

"Do you think it will work?"

"I'll make it work."

…

"Feliciano, what happened to your eye?"

Feliciano smiled sheepishly at Ludwig.

"I fell against the doorknob," he said.

Ludwig, Kiku, Gilbert and Antonio's faces hardened.

"Feli," Antonio said, "are you sure that that's what happened?"

"What do you mean?" Feliciano asked.

"Did Sadiq rough you up?" Gilbert demanded.

"No, no of course not. But it's funny. He said that you'd think that."

"Feliciano…" Ludwig said.

"Oh, I just remembered that I need to buy pasta for tonight. Ciao."

Feliciano waved goodbye, leaving his friends behind.

"I'm worried about him," Antonio said.

"Ja," Gilbert said. "I think we should have a little talk with our Turkish friend."

…

When Sadiq opened the door, he didn't expect to receive a fist to the nose. He could feel warm fluid, and he grabbed his bleeding nose as he stared at Feliciano's friends.

"What did you do that for?" the Turk demanded.

"That's for hurting Feli!" Gilbert shouted.

"What?"

"'Fell on a doorknob'?" Ludwig said. "It's the oldest excuse in the book, along with 'fell down the stairs' and 'cut myself shaving'."

Sadiq stared at them for a moment before he facepalmed.

"Have you never met Feliciano?" Sadiq asked. "The guy who tripped and fell against a razor, cutting his wrist? Or how about the guy that sprained his ankle when he was sleeping? Or, how about the time he walked into a pole because he was trying to avoid stepping in a hole?"

Antonio flinched, while the others glared.

"You expect us to believe that?" Ludwig asked.

"Actually…" Antonio said, and all eyes turned to him. "The sprained ankle thing happened while we were still going to school, and I was there when he walked into the pole. And a bunch of other injuries…"

"Sadi, who is it?" Feliciano's voice could be heard.

"Your friends," Sadiq said. "They think I'm abusing you."

There was a sudden crash and the sound of Feliciano crying out in pain, and Sadiq sighed.

"By any chance, do you guys know where I can buy a large amount of bubble wrap?" Sadiq asked.

This is a combination of the prompt 'Person A is clumsy, like reaaaaally clumsy. Person B threatens to wrap them in bubble wrap' and an idea I got when reading about the trope 'cut himself shaving', which is about making up bizarre excuses for suspicious injuries, including injuries caused by abuse. One of the ways you can play with the trope is to actually have injuries caused by bizarre means, but everyone assumes that you're covering for someone abusing you.

It's actually a sort of running gag in my family that people who don't know us would think that we're being abused. My sister especially. All of the injuries listed above are injuries she's suffered. The last time she returned from a camp, she had 43 bruises. But the rest of us are pretty clumsy as well. My mom once tore the muscle in her calf just from stepping too hard, and she's permanently covered in bruises and scars by playing with the dogs. My dad once walked into a tree branch, making him the first member of our family to get stitches. And I once fell off a treadmill, tearing my hip's cartilage, which can't heal on its own. One of my dad's catchphrases is 'mind your environment'. My sister received the nickname 'Tweetybird' on her first day of high school by her homeroom teacher – the Afrikaans term for a klutz translates to 'accident bird'. My sister is also not someone that feels pain too easily, whereas I do. But then I have the advantage of not getting wounded easily (I once fell while swinging on a rope during an obstacle course, falling more than a meter and only ending up with a small scrape as external wound), and also healing pretty fast. It actually freaked my dad out a bit, and my sister isn't too happy with the fact that I'm not easily wounded.