Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia.
CuLiet: Regret
Carlos was laughing and joking with his friends before class when he saw Toris walk in. The quiet Lithuanian glanced in their direction before ducking his head, hurrying to his seat at the back of the classroom. Carlos watched him out of the corner of his eyes. He'd only spoken to Toris a few times, but found him to be an enchanting individual. One that made Carlos's heart race.
He held back a flinch when one of his friends said something negative in Toris's direction. He wondered how his friends would react when they found out that Carlos was possibly in love with the Lithuanian. But for now, he would keep things the way they were.
At lunch, his gaze went to Toris again, sitting in an isolated corner with a book in front of him. Once the lunch was finished, the book was open. Carlos wondered what Toris was reading. Perhaps it was something that he should also consider, then perhaps he would be able to have a genuine conversation with the object of his affections instead of a few exchanged words.
Carlos knew that he seemed brave and tough, but he was terrified of being around the Lithuanian. He just wanted to hold onto him, but he was terrified of actually doing so. What would the people around him say? His friends? And would Toris even accept him?
Later, when he was just about to enter the bathroom, Toris came out. His eyes were red, and there were red rings around his eyes. It was obvious that Toris had been crying.
"Sorry," Toris muttered as he moved past him.
Carlos longed to ask him what was wrong. He longed to wrap his arms around Toris and tell him that everything would be okay. That he wouldn't allow anything or anyone to make him cry again. But he could not move, and Toris was out of sight before long.
Carlos was at the supermarket after school, running an errand for his mother. He searched for an empty till (or at least the emptiest) when he spotted a familiar head of brown hair. Feeling his heart race, he stepped into line behind Toris.
"Hey there," he greeted.
Toris jumped, surprised at being greeted. He muttered a greeting in return, before turning his attention to the old lady in front of him.
Carlos tried to think of something to say, and then his eyes spotted one of the contents of Toris's grocery basket. It would seem his parents had sent him to get supplies as well.
"Do you have a rat problem at home?" Carlos asked.
Toris looked down at the packet of rat poison in his basket and nodded.
"Man, that sucks," Carlos said. "We had a bit of a rat infestation a few months ago too. We had to get new kitchen cupboards. One of the cupboards had this huge hole in the bottom. They were completely ruined."
"Sounds horrible," Toris said.
"Yeah. After that, we got a cat."
This was what he waited for. A proper conversation with Toris. Perhaps he could end it with a 'would you like to go out sometime?'. But just as he thought those words, all others died in his throat.
After paying, Toris looked at him one last time. A look of expectation. But Carlos couldn't say anything. He couldn't even manage a 'see you tomorrow at school'. Toris shook his head and left, and the Cuban wanted to kick himself for losing another opportunity.
…
The next morning, Carlos searched for Toris with his gaze. The Lithuanian was nowhere to be found, and he wondered if he was absent. He hoped that the smaller male wasn't sick. It wasn't in Toris's nature to skip school.
His mind was occupied, and so he missed most of the morning announcements, but there was one thing that caught his attention and made his blood run cold.
"We received word that one of our students – Toris Laurinaitis – committed suicide yesterday," the voice over the intercom announced.
When everyone left for their next class, Carlos approached the teacher.
"E-excuse me," he said. "Could you… Do you know how Toris… you know?"
The teacher gave him a blank look before apparently recognising the look in his eyes, and he sighed.
"He mixed rat poison in his tea," the teacher said.
Carlos froze. He actually saw Toris buy the poison that killed him.
As he made his way to his next class, he tried to hold back his tears. If only… If he had noticed Toris's sorrow… if he had actually asked him the previous day… he might have given the Lithuanian a reason to continue living. Or, at the very least, he might have given him some hope. And now… he would never get the chance.
If only he'd said something while he had the chance.
The other day, I looked up one-word prompts, and 'regret' was the very first word. I found myself thinking about a story about regret, and this popped up, and when the time came to write this chapter, I thought I might use this story I devised. I just had to pick characters, and Lithuania was my prime candidate this time. I think I might do an entire series on these one-word prompts.