Chapter 6 - Ten Years Later...

I did my best to survive the next ten years until I went to Hogwarts. Being a girl meant that Dudley generally left me alone because he was afraid he would catch cooties from me. When I realized the reason for his general avoidance, I sighed in relief.

I wasn't as athletic as I wasn't part of the Harry Hunting "game" from the books, but I still tried my best to keep fit even if I hated every minute of it. Hogwarts with her 142 staircases and distances between the classrooms would be a shock to my system otherwise.

There were of course bouts of accidental magic, but not many. Not because I wasn't powerful enough but because I knew what was happening, I could control them somewhat. Not the real accidental magic, no, but I could control my magic somewhat. I could mould my magic into a small ball of light whenever Vernon and Petunia felt that I didn't need the light bulb in my cupboard, or healing the scrapes and bruises I was left with whenever I couldn't complete my chores fast enough or correctly - which was often in my relatives honest opinions.

Harry being abused by the Dursleys was glossed over in the books - and that's all I'm going to say on the matter. I knew that going to the authorities would probably amount to nothing because Vernon and Petunia were respectable members of the community, and I also doubted that Dumbledore would allow me to get away from the blood wards that were erected. I did have to wonder why Sirius never came to pick me up - and worried what happened to him. Did something happen in the aftermath of that night? Did he get hurt? What about Severus? Or Remus? Why did no one come for me?

I found safe harbour in the library, surrounded by books that I devoured because I was extremely bored in school. It was interesting to learn about things in English because I wasn't born British or American in my last life, but on the other hand it was boring because it was elementary stuff that I already knew even if English wasn't my native language before.

I managed to talk my teachers into not telling my aunt and uncle about the good grades I was receiving, citing not wanting Dudley to feel bad because his grades were worse than mine, and in turn make my relatives worry about him needlessly or heap unfair expectations on him. Either the teachers were all stupid and bought what I tried to sell them, or they knew that I had a different reason after seeing how differently Petunia and Vernon acted around me at a school fair. Either way, they kept mum about it and I kept acing my tests without my aunt and uncle's knowledge.

I was offered to skip classes more than once, but that would require letting my relatives know that I was smarter than Dudley and that just wouldn't do, so I went with the excuse that I didn't want to skip them because I would miss Dudley and my other (nonexistent) friends that I had in my class, and they left it at that.

My teachers did look at me weirdly because of it, seeing as they knew that Dudley and I ignored each other and the other kids ignored me, but they usually let it be. Might be because they actually liked me – I was a perfect student after all. Quiet and studious, knew the material when asked, and had good grades. I wasn't a teacher's pet by any means. I was way too shy to actually raise my hand in class, but I did answer the questions asked of me.

I think I was a dream come true to some of my teachers because they obviously favoured me over the others. They sometimes gave me chocolates or candy for an excellent score on the tests. It could also mean that they were aware that my home life wasn't exactly perfect but couldn't do anything about it.

Whatever. I was just happy to get to eat the sweets I otherwise wasn't even allowed to look at.

When my thoughts turned to Hogwarts, I knew that the Sorting Hat would have a hard time putting me into specific house, even though I've always identified with Slytherin the most. I was "officially" sorted into the House of Snakes on Pottermore, and other unofficial quizzes as well. But I was also a closet Ravenclaw with my love of reading and a thirst for knowledge; a Hufflepuff because when I wanted to, I could be a real hard worker and I was loyal to the people I loved; a Gryffindor because was I was survivor not only in this life but the life I led before becoming Anthea Potter.

I couldn't wait to see the Hat's expression (so to speak) when it figured out I knew a lot more than the Wixen World expected of Anthea Potter, who was supposed to have no knowledge of magic before getting her Hogwarts letter. Harry Potter in the books was an average student of magic who excelled in Defence Against the Dark Arts and Quidditch and went for the easiest subject for this third year electives. I was in no way average, nor would I allow myself to be, what with this new chance at life. And also, I needed to be prepared for when Voldemort got his body back. I knew I wouldn't touch Divination with a foot long pole if I could help it but I was fascinated by Ancient Runes. So I figured I would be taking Care of Magical Cretures and Ancient Runes as my electives, unless Arithmancy also caught my fancy.

I definitely feel like Hermione in wanting to know everything about the Wixen World and magic in general. If you couldn't tell already, I was extremely excited to go to Hogwarts and start learning about magic. Which Harry Potter fan wouldn't? I know that in my previous life I was still waiting for my Hogwarts letter to come, even if I was quite a bit older at the time of my death.

Thinking of Hogwarts usually meant I also started thinking about the people in the books I've repeatedly read in my previous life and of the people I actually knew. I wondered how they would react to an autistic Anthea Potter. They probably wouldn't expect that. Did they even guess at why I was so peculiar? Did the Wixen World have psychiatrists, psychologists and therapists for mental health problems?

I bet you didn't expect that one.

In the words of one of my favourite TikTokers, I had ADD with a touch of the tism.

So if this story or narrative of mine sometimes makes no sense, this is probably the reason.

And I was also thinking whether or not I should or could confide in someone about my reincarnation, as I wasn't able to communicate well enough when I was still a baby and didn't want to take the first-time parents wonder away from Lily and James. If I did confide in someone it would probably be Severus.

Also, I've always felt lonely in my mind even if I was surrounded by my family who loved me. I wanted to talk to people, hopefully make friends, even with my social anxiety. I wanted to talk to someone who would treat me as the adult I felt I was mentally.

Not only that, but I knew I couldn't change the future alone. Evidence on how I couldn't prevent my parents' deaths even though I tried my hardest. I consoled myself with the fact that I did manage to reconcile Lily and Severus and have Severus and the Marauders make peace with each other.

I needed someone to talk to.

I just hoped my honorary uncles and godfather would accept me if and when I decided to tell them.

I didn't put my trust in Dumbledore at all - and tended to avoid him at Order meetings. I didn't like the fact that he didn't prepare Harry enough before he died and expected him to die like "a pig for slaughter" as Severus so delicately put it. I needed to make sure I didn't get on Dumbledore's radar so to speak and to avoid looking into his eyes, just in case he tried to read my mind.

I thought long and hard on what to do when my Hogwarts Letter arrived. Should I try to intercept it and reply with acceptance, or should I let canon events happen with a possible divergence when in Diagon Alley? I made a list of pros and cons.

Pros:

- staying true to canon events (Hagrid coming to pick me up) would lead to familiar events and wouldn't make me as anxious

- it would amuse me to watch my relatives' reactions to those letters

- using the fact that Hagrid would need a pick-me-up to do some things on my own instead of under his watchful eye

Cons:

- deviating from canon events too much could create a completely different narrative that I couldn't navigate as easily

- Hogwarts staff realizing I'm not as ignorant of the Wixen World

- previous leading to Dumbledore maybe becoming suspicious

- someone else taking me to Diagon Alley might be more perceptive than Hagrid

In the end, I decided to let things run their canonic way and take advantage of Hagrid's absence to buy myself some extra things - and hopefully I could return to Diagon Alley once or twice before travelling to Hogwarts as well if I played my cards right.