Epilogue
Boston Massachusetts, November 18th, 1953
"Are you sure there's nothing else I can get you Mrs. Klinger?" The nurse asked, smiling kindly.
"No Jenny, I'm perfect. Thank you so much." Ellie Marie responded, "My husband should be back from the cafeteria any minute and he promised me coffee and apple pie."
"What a man…." Jenny teased with a wink, and Ellie Marie laughed appreciatively.
"Oh you have no idea….." She replied.
"So am I still bringing little miss Maggie back when she wakes up to eat?" Jenny asked.
"Yes please."
Jenny walked out of the room and closed the door, but as soon as it had clicked shut, someone knocked on it again.
"Who is it?" Ellie Marie called.
"Someone coming to meet her newest namesake!" Major Houlihan said, peeking her head around the door.
"Margaret!" Ellie Marie gasped excitedly, sitting up quickly and reaching out towards her. Margaret came quickly to her side and hugged her. She looked lovely in a pair of deep green pleated slacks and a checkered orange and gold sweater. "Look at you! You're a regular civilian!" Ellie Marie teased, "I can't believe you came all the way out here from Chicago!"
"Like I'd miss meeting this little girl for anything!" Margaret replied with a smile, "where is she?? And where's your husband for that matter? Why are you all alone in this room??" Ellie Maire laughed.
"At ease Major…" She said, "my daughter is in the nursery sleeping, and I sent Max and Radar down to the cafeteria to grab me some real food!"
"Radar is here??" Margaret said excitedly, "Oh how is he? I have seen him since Uijeongbu!"
"He's great!" Ellie Marie replied, "I'm sure he'll be excited to see you too. So how've things been with you Margaret? How's Chicago?"
"Amazing." She answered, "it's so refreshing to be working with doctors who are where they are because they want to be, not because someone forced them to be. The atmosphere is so electric and fast paced, I love it!"
"And I've heard tell there is a certain doctor that is receiving a bit more of your attention than the others?" Ellie Marie teased, wiggling her eyebrows. Margaret rolled her eyes, but smiled slightly.
"His name is Robert Parkson, and we have been on exactly three dates." She replied.
"But you like him?"
"I mean yeah I like him. He's tall and handsome. He's the head of pediatrics so he loves kids, and he's kind and patient. He makes me laugh."
"Sounds like he's perfect." Ellie Marie said.
"We both know that no man is perfect." Margaret shot back, and they both laughed appreciatively.
"Everything ok in here Mrs. Klinger?" Another nurse stuck her head in.
"Yes, Beth I'm fine thank you." Elllie Marie responded, before turning back to Margaret, "don't mind them." She said, "when the head of thoracic surgery for the hospital makes not one, but three separate visits to a patient, they tend to get over helpful."
"That's right!" Margaret said, "I didn't even think about that. How is Charles anyway?"
"He's Charles." Ellie Marie said with a shrug, "I have lunch with him once a week in the Medical School dining hall, and Max and I have a standing dinner reservation with him once a month."
"Really?" Margaret said in surprise, "Charles is willing to be seen out in public with Klinger?" Ellie Marie smirked.
"Truthfully I think they really both just tolerate each other for my sake, but Max has a respectable job now and a few nice suits to go with it, so Charles has deemed him the base level of worthiness."
"Oh yeah? What's the job?" Margaret asked, absentmindedly straightening her blanket, Ellie Marie thought with amusement that she probably didn't even realize she was doing it, it was just something that was ingrained in her.
"He's a paralegal." Ellie Marie said, "He got the job about a month ago but he's already getting really good at it. Honestly it's pretty much just being a company clerk again, except for a law firm instead of the Army, but paralegal sounds way more impressive." Margaret chuckled, "but the lawyers there love him. His skills at being shady make him a whizz and digging up all the dirt on their clients. They already fight over who gets to have him as their assistant on cases."
"Oh that's too funny." Margaret said appreciatively, "I can completely see Klinger being wonderful at a job like that."
"Yeah it doesn't pay a ton….but it's enough to keep us comfortable until I'm done with school.' Ellie Marie said, "then when we get back to Toledo I'm gonna set up my practice and his Uncle who's a malpractice lawyer has a job waiting for him, so we'll be set."
"Oh my gosh….Major Houlihan? Is that you sir?" Radar and Klinger were standing in the doorway.
"Radar!" She jumped up and ran over to hug him tightly, "Oh, look at you!" She held his face in her hands, taking in his overalls and oversized flannel jacket, "You're a real farmer now."
"Oh ….yeah I guess I am." He said with a shy smile, "well I mean….I run a farm at least."
"And that's not the biggest news he's got." Klinger said with a smile as he brought a plate and cup over to Ellie Marie, "coffee and pie as promised…." He said.
"I sure do love you…." She told him, and he leaned over her to kiss her before she dug greedily into the pie.
"So tell her kid!" Klinger said with a smirk. Radar looked between him and the Major with a nervous smile.
"I'm gettin' married." He admitted.
"What??" Margaret gasped, grabbing him and hugging him again, "Radar that's amazing!!"
"Yeah…" Radar said, "Her name's Patty. I actually met her in the airport in Tokyo on my way back from R and R. As soon as I got home, once I got things settled with my Mom, I drove down to Lancaster Missouri and found her."
"Yeah you did Romeo…." Ellie Marie teased, and he shot her a smile.
"She's a nurse just like you ladies." He explained to Margaret, "she's funny and sweet and she likes comic books and grape nehi….she's just about the swellest girl I ever met. When I asked her if she wanted to get married, I was so surprised she said yes, that I almost passed out!" They all laughed.
"Aww Radar…..I can't tell you how happy I am for you…." Margaret said kindly.
"Somebody is awake…..and being very vocal about having her lunch." Jenny said, peeking her head into the room, and carrying a little pink bundle. Margaret's eyes lit up with excitement as Jenny carried her over and placed her in Ellie Marie's arms.
"Oh my god…." Margaret whispered, "Oh she's absolutely perfect."
Ellie Marie smiled down at her beautiful daughter. She had a light tan complexion, with huge dark eyes that matched hers in shape but Klinger's in color, and mass of dark curly hair.
"Isn't she pretty Major?" Radar asked, coming over to stand next to them.
"Pretty?" Maragret said incredulously, "she's exquisite."
As she spoke the baby wrinkled her nose and let out a loud long cry.
"She also has her father's lung capacity and propensity to let you know what she's feeling." Ellie Marie teased, as she positioned the nursing cover over herself so she could feed her. They all laughed.
"I tell you what, I'm still just thanking the heavens that she didn't end up with my nose." Klinger said.
"All baby noses look the same." Ellie Marie said, "she could still grow into it."
"Hey…..don't put that kinda whammy on our daughter!" Klinger chastised.
"Oh come on….I love your nose." She retorted, leaning over and kissing the tip of it.
"And I love that you love it…." He said, "but that doesn't mean I want her stuck with it."
"So has anyone else dropped by, from the old gang?" Margaret asked.
"Charles obviously." Ellie Marie said, peeking under the cover to check on the baby, "and Kelly just left yesterday."
"Still can't believe she flew in all the way from Honolulu." Klinger said.
"The Potters are supposed to be here tomorrow, and B.J. said they'd come out if we wanted, but we'd already made plans to visit them over the Christmas holidays so we told them they didn't need to make the extra trip. Peg's over the moon that she ended up being a girl though, she's already decided that Maggie and Erin are going to be best friends." Ellie Marie explained.
"No word from Hawkeye?"
"No as of yet…" Ellie Marie said, "but we just saw him a month ago for our big anniversary party."
"Oh that's right!" Margaret said, "How did that go? I was so sorry to miss it."
"It was great!" Klinger said, "My folks were a little bummed that we didn't do it in Toledo, but in the end Charles used his connections to get us the Diamond Room at the Plaza hotel, and we spent pretty much our entire war time savings getting my whole family out here. But it was a blast, one of the biggest parties the hotel had ever seen."
"Max's folks have been staying with us since. Didn't make sense for them to fly back to Toledo, just to fly back here a week later." Ellie Marie explained.
"And having the four of us all crammed in our shoebox apartment has been quite the experience let me tell ya." Klinger added. Ellie Marie laughed.
"It's been great though." She said affectionately, "They're amazing. All the things I love about him, he got from them." Klinger looked down at her with a warm smile.
"And Hawkeye had a good time? At your party I mean." Margaret asked.
"Are you kidding me?" Klinger said with a smirk, "by the end of the night he had at least six Lebanese fathers talking to him about bridal dowries."
"I told them if it didn't include three head of cattle and a plot of land in the old country, I was out." A voice said from the doorway. They all looked up to where Hawkeye was leaning against the doorframe smiling.
"Figured I had to come meet the newest member of the crazy Klinger clan." He said.
"Well you're in luck." Ellie Marie said, removing her nursing cover, "she just finished eating so she is in a very good mood. Margaret? Would you like to hold her?"
"Are you kidding me??" Margaret held out her arms eagerly, and Ellie Marie transferred her to them.
"Hello sweetheart….." Margaret cooed, "I have been waiting quite a while to meet you. Did you know that? I'm your Auntie Margaret, and as soon as your Mommy and Daddy move back to Ohio, I'm going to come steal you all the time! We're going to go on marvelous adventures together!"
"Better watch out Maggie…"Hawkeye teased, looking over Margaret's shoulder, "I've been on adventures with her before and she can get crazy."
"Oh hush you…." Margaret shot at him, she turned slightly, "would you like to…?" She held the baby out to him.
"No no…" He took a step back nervously, "I think looking is as far I'm gonna push it for now."
"That's fine…." Ellie Marie assured him.
After a few more minutes Margaret looked down at the baby, and gave a smirk.
"I think Miss Maggie here may have some rumbles happening in the posterior region." She said.
"That's my cue." Klinger said, hopping up, "Ellie handles everything that goes in, I handle everything that comes out. Come here cutie…" He took the baby from Margaret, "let get you freshened up and into a snappy new sarape!"
"He's a natural…." Hawkeye observed as Klinger walked out of the room with the baby.
"He sure is…" Ellie Marie agreed.
"You know Ellie…..I don''t think you'll ever understand how much it meant to all of us…..to watch the two of you get such a perfect happy ending." Margaret said, squeezing her hand, "in a way. You and Max made the entire thing…..almost seem like it was worth it in the end."
"You really did El." Radar agreed.
"More than you'll ever know." said Hawkeye.
Thank you so much to anyone and everyone who read and enjoyed this story! I grew up with M*A*S*H and this story has been, essentially my love letter to this amazing show, and especially my absolute favorite character, Max Klinger. I've loved getting to share this journey with all of you!