CHAPTER 24 - VOYAGE
BUZZZZZZZ…. BUZZZZZZZZ… BUZZZZZZZZ…
Blackness surrounded Afflatus, three am darkness blanketing the space.
BUZZZZZZZ…. BUZZZZZZZZ… BUZZZZZZZZ…
Afflatus stirred.
BUZZZZZZZ…. BUZZZZZZZZ… BUZZZZZZZZ…
Who the hell was trying to get ahold of her at this hour? Her stomach dropped, praying it wasn't a last minute assignment or meeting with the President.
BUZZZZZZZ…. BUZZZZZZZZ… BUZZZZZZZZ…
Afflatus rolled over and picked up her phone, fearing the worst. She opened several texts. The first was from a few hours ago.
Afflatus Lux, you are invited to the Hospital to say goodbye to Muse Frill. She suffered a ruptured aneurysm followed by a brain haemorrhage. She will not survive after she's taken off life support. If you wish to visit, please make a punctual appearance, before the D1 train is scheduled to leave the station.
The texts were all the same paragraph, spammed over and over. If it wasn't for the incessant buzzing, though, she may not have received the message in time.
Afflatus' blood ran cold in her veins, immediate denial pushing away the panic rushing up inside of her. It wasn't real, she hadn't seen her friend for herself yet. She pushed off her covers and jumped out of bed, dressing quickly before calling a car to the training centre. She debated waking Bliss, but this was something she ultimately felt like she had to face on her own.
Soon, she'd be at the Hospital, and Muse would be laughing at her, telling her it was all a joke. Afflatus would tell her it was in poor taste, but she craved the relief of the punchline.
She'd give anything to speak with Muse again.
The drive to the Hospital passed in a flash. All too soon, she was winding her way through white corridors, trying to find the Intensive Care Unit. Panic made her forget the layout, and she anxiously ran past curious onlookers, trying to find the correct wing.
The ICU family waiting room was empty save for some elderly Capitolites, who paid her no mind. She tried to open the doors to the ICU, but they were locked shut. Beside the doors was a large red button. Afflatus pressed it.
"Hello. Who is this? Who are you here to see?" A voice over the intercom asked.
"Afflatus Lux, here to see-" Her throat constricted, suddenly she couldn't breathe properly.
After a few moments, the ICU doors opened and a nurse popped out. She looked normal for a capitolite, chin length caramel hair and forest green eyes. Afflatus stared at her like an idiot.
"Do you want to take a moment before you go in?" The nurse asked. Afflatus couldn't force words out, so she nodded instead. Tears pricked her eyes, and her throat remained tight. Her lungs wouldn't fill.
The doors to the ICU opened again and Muse's mother, Gia, appeared. Afflatus' shock passed quickly, it made sense Gia was here already. D1 wasn't far from the Capitol, and it was likely she was afforded a hovercraft escort.
"Afflatus…" Gia exhaled her name.
Afflatus couldn't hold back her tears. Round, fat droplets spilled onto her cheeks. "I'm sorry." She said, apologizing for her display of emotion. Gia just shook her head, and pulled her in for a hug.
"I'm glad you could make it." Gia said, pulling apart.
"Of course." Afflatus tried to keep her voice steady.
"She…" Tears tracked down Gia's face. "Her aneurysm ruptured. The…" Gia's eyes flickered to Afflatus, the rest of the phrase unspoken. The aneurysm Muse developed as a result of a head trauma she received during her Games. A victor in truth, but the Games still killed her. Another tear breached Afflatus' eyelid. She took a shaky breath.
"Her organs began to fail after the haemorrhage. First lungs, then liver, then kidneys. Once Muse is taken off the ventilator, she won't wake up." Gia said solemnly, articulately.
"Can I see her?" Afflatus whispered.
"Yes. Just… prepare yourself. She doesn't look… good." Gia said, less eloquently. Suddenly, the older woman burst into tears.
Afflatus stood there in shock for a moment, then opened her arms to offer a hug. Gia folded herself in Afflatus' arms, her small frame quivering with grief.
Gia told Afflatus to visit their family anytime, then bid her adieu. Afflatus turned to the nurse and asked to see Muse. Afflatus followed her through the winding white walls, until they stopped in front of Room Nine.
"Afflatus." The nurse said, getting her attention. "I'll help you put a gown on, then you're going to put gloves on, and a mask with a visor. Then you can go in and speak with Muse."
Afflatus nodded, no longer crying, floating somewhere above herself.
"You need to prepare yourself, as Gia said. She isn't conscious. She has tubes sticking out of her mouth and neck." The nurse said, somewhere far away. Afflatus nodded again.
Her feet carried her forward, around the stands of hospital equipment. The rhythmic whir of the ventilator sounded like a gunshot in Afflatus' ear every time it took a mechanical breath for Muse. Finally, the girl came into view.
Afflatus choked, unable to breath. She'd been foolishly praying up until the moment she laid eyes on her former friend, that it was all a sick joke. But it wasn't. Her skin was jaundiced and distended along with her swollen abdomen. The skin around her face had become lax, sagging below her eyes to reveal the bottom of the white spheres and the red tissue blow, although they were closed. There were several tubes coming out of her mouth and neck, not just one or two.
Sobs broke from Afflatus' chest, uncontrollable waves of grief threatening to sweep her feet out from under her. She tried to control the noise, embarrassed to be crying in front of an audience, but she couldn't control the agony at Muse's sudden loss.
She thought they'd be annoying each other for the next sixty years.
The way they'd left things… Afflatus' last words to Muse…
It was too much. Afflatus leaned against a wall so she wouldn't collapse, and tried to slow her breathing. It was to no avail, though, pain ripping through her chest. She staggered to Muse's bedside and took her swollen hand in both of hers. She rubbed circles into the skin.
"I'm sorry." Afflatus choked out. "I love you."
Muse's hand twitched. It may have been in recognition, or her muscles may have spasmed randomly, but it was enough to conjure another rippling wave of agony. Afflatus pressed her arms over her mouth, trying to suppress the sound of her sobs.
"Oh fuck." Afflatus said to nobody. "Fuck. Fuck. Fuck." She paced around the room in circles. More tears escaped. "Why the fuck did this happen?"
Suddenly, she needed to know the answer. Afflatus stormed around the medical equipment, and confronted the nurse, who sat patiently on her chair. "How did this happen?!" Afflatus growled, she couldn't keep the anger out of her voice. "She's a victor, for fuck's sake! Why wasn't she being monitored?"
Her manner didn't frighten the nurse, though. "Muse was being monitored…Aneurysms can rupture from anything, though. A cough, a smack to the head… stress…" The nurse said quieter, as if it was blasphemous to suggest being a mentor in the Hunger Games could be a stressful role.
Stress… Stress not only stemming from the Hunger Games, but also from when she attempted to reconcile with a friend and was met with childish screaming and threats thrown back in her face.
Afflatus' mind cracked. She wouldn't ever be able to forgive herself. Her mind started floating above her again. She took off the personal protective equipment, with the nurse's assistance, and fled the ICU. Her eyes were red and white, real and implant mismatched and swollen, though tears no longer fell.
On the way out of the ICU wing, she passed by Red, Areti, and Plush, on their way to say their own goodbyes. They looked solemn, but were not a complete mess like Afflatus was. The fact they witnessed her in such a vulnerable position made her blood boil. She blew past them without a word, and was all but running by the time she burst through the Hospital's exit.
FLASH! FLASH! FLASH!
Camera bulbs blinded Afflatus, and she cursed the press for descending so quickly. She elbowed her way through the crowd, not caring that her blotchy face would be on every tabloid by the afternoon.
Afflatus slammed the cab door behind her, and ordered the taxi back to the training centre. Her brain floated, and she wasn't in control of the tears that continued to flow down her face. She almost didn't feel them. But she felt the collar of her shirt getting soaked, the fabric clinging to her throat. The sensation was so irritating, she wished she could rip her skin off.
As she entered the training centre, she looked at her watch face through blurry eyes. She still had a couple hours before she had to rise to meet Bliss and return to D1. The elevator ride passed in a blur, and once inside the D1 apartment, Afflatus buried herself under her sheets with a bottle of vodka and drank until she passed out.
…
Bliss woke with the sunrise, fragile peace settling over her after she cleared the air with Harlem. She didn't have to bear the weight of anyone's guilt over the situation anymore, just her own pain. It was better to deal with one emotion at a time, rather than compounding anger over guilt over frustration over sadness. The tangle was too much to unravel all at once.
She extracted herself from bed, and ambled towards the kitchen to put on a pot of coffee. Voices from the sitting room drew her. Violet, Harlem, and Afflatus sat on couches, speaking in low tones. Bliss' stomach clenched, sensing the mood in the room.
Coffee forgotten, Bliss sat down beside Afflatus, cushion depressing under her weight. The distant look in Afflatus' eyes terrified Bliss. Immediately, Bliss thought Afflatus received another assignment, some flagrant violation, a last lick the Capitol got in before the victor's departure.
Afflatus held her hand when Bliss offered, but didn't say anything. Harlem reclined in shock. Violet stared at the floor.
"What going on?" Bliss addressed the group.
Violet cleared his throat. "Muse Frill passed away early this morning, due to a ruptured aneurysm."
"Panem." Bliss said, in shock. She turned to Afflatus, unable to imagine the complicated, tumultuous feelings barraging the girl. "I'm sorry, Affy." She rubbed Afflatus' back. Afflatus nodded subtly, lost in thought.
"We should… get going." Afflatus said quietly, clenching the handles of her purse. There was still time for coffee and breakfast, but if Afflatus wanted to escape to the train station and get out of the Capitol as fast as humanly possible, Bliss would support her.
"Okay. I'm ready, I just have to change." Bliss said, bags packed the previous night. Afflatus nodded. Bliss spared a glance for Harlem and Violet before leaving to retrieve her bag. The stunned expressions hadn't left their faces. Sometimes it was easy to forget victors weren't invincible, even with Capitol medicine and technology.
Bliss retrieved what she needed, then ventured back towards the sitting room. Afflatus, Harlem, and Violet stood by the front door. Afflatus' shoes were on, clearly ready to bolt. Bliss tied her laces before Afflatus could leave her in the dust.
"I'll see you back in D7." Bliss said, hugging Harlem.
"Absolutely. See you, Bliss." Harlem replied.
"Bye, Violet." Bliss hugged him as well. He returned the sentiment.
"Okay, let's go?" Bliss asked Afflatus. The words launched Afflatus into action, she beelined it for the elevator. After a final glance goodbye at the men, Bliss followed her friend.
Afflatus was quiet on the cab ride over, but Bliss didn't intrude. Afflatus' grief and anxiety was clear, the only way she could be helped was by removing her from the Capitol. Bliss would watch her back until they got out safely.
Most other D1 victors were present, save Red. Apparently, he was going to accompany Muse's body back to D1. Her body… it didn't feel real, even to Bliss. She couldn't imagine the magnitude of the shock Afflatus felt.
Shortly before the train's departure, Lustre stumbled onto the train platform. He wore a thick hoodie, though it was still the tail end of summer. The hood was drawn over his swollen, battered face. He found the farthest corner possible, and collapsed in a heap, head resting on his knees. It was obvious he didn't want to speak to anyone.
His behaviour struck Bliss as odd… the beating Lustre took was vicious, but it couldn't have been his first. He'd been injured plenty of times throughout his years of training, and Bliss was sure he didn't react like a beaten dog. And there was no way he was emotional over Muse's loss, with how little he regarded his fellow victors. Embarrassment over the public punishment, then? Bliss wasn't sure.
Some of the D1 victors exchanged curious glances with Bliss after appraising Lustre as well, but none drew her into conversation.
Whatever Lustre was feeling, though, it was no matter now. Bliss didn't want to spare any more thoughts for the malevolent boy. Instead, she focused on Afflatus. She whispered assurances in the girl's ear, telling Afflatus she'd be home soon, she'd see her parents, and that she had someone to watch her back. Bliss would kill anyone who tried to touch her. She stood behind Afflatus like an attack dog. When other D1 victors attempted to commiserate with Afflatus, Bliss chased them away.
Finally, the victors were called to board the train. Lustre entered behind Bliss, the last of the bunch. He tripped on the stairs, and before Bliss thought better, she caught him before he face planted. Lustre flinched at her touch, face reddening with embarrassment. There was no snappy retort, no insult that followed. The energy was completely zapped from his personality. He scampered into his private car.
Definitely weird.
Bliss and Afflatus retreated to Afflatus' private car. Afflatus didn't speak much on the way back to D1, she didn't even seem to be aware when tears streamed down her face. Bliss held her hand and wiped her face.