Chapter Eight: Gravity
Song: Halo by Beyonce.
Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
-Albert Einstein-
A POV
His trail of kisses made its way from the tip of her earlobe down the length of her neck, sending hot, sensual flames throughout her body.
Oh, God, she needed more air.
It occurred to her that if she were to pass out from lack of oxygen, she would have a hard time explaining.
All he did was kiss me.
In her mind's eye, the paramedics already had her on a gurney, peppering her with follow-up questions.
"I want you, Anastasia..."
"Ana," she weakly mumbled, "Call me... Ana."
"Ana," he repeated, his eyes darkening, "I need you now," he said with dizzying urgency as he turned her to face him, molding her to his body with a low- satisfying groan.
Her inner goddess was beyond excited, eager to participate in whatever he had in mind.
Everywhere I'm lookin' now
I'm surrounded by your embrace
Baby, I can see your halo
You know you're my savin' grace
You're everything I need and more
It's written all over your face
Baby, I can feel your halo
Pray it won't fade away
I can feel your halo, halo, halo
I can see your halo, halo, halo.
Feeling as if the world was suddenly spinning in front of her eyes, she clung to him; her arms wrapping around his neck, and her fingers snaked around his curls.
Her knees nearly buckled under the intensity of his devilish eyes; eyes that demanded the offering of her soul on a silver platter.
The ring?
Yes, the ring?
Of course.
Her floppy hands fumbled to remove the offensive 10K gold diamond, releasing it above her head in a reverse slam dunk- but without the intense high jump.
Jose's ring flew in a straight line onto the porcelain sink, spinning around like a washing machine to finally settle around the drain with a bell-like sound.
Christian deftly caught her arms and pinned them above her head. With his free hand, he held her chin, stilling her head.
Their kiss was hungry, growing more desperate with each stroke of his tongue.
Without breaking the kiss, he lifted her dress.
Shouting for joy, her inner goddess gladly assisted him as he lifted her and pushed her bottom against the porcelain sink that held Jose's long-forgotten ring.
Remember those walls I built?
Well, baby, they're tumblin' down
And they didn't even put up a fight
They didn't even make a sound
I found a way to let you in
But I never really had a doubt
Standin' in the light of your halo
I got my angel now
It's like I've been awakened
Every rule I had you breakin'
It's the risk that I'm takin'
I ain't never gonna shut you out
I can feel your halo, halo, halo
I can see your halo, halo
Halo
Hit me like a ray of sun
Burnin' through my darkest night
You're the only one that I want
Think I'm addicted to your light
I swore I'd never fall again
But this don't even feel like fallin'
Gravity can't begin
To pull me back to the ground again.
...
Ana enjoyed every minute of their lovemaking. She'd always heard the first time was uncomfortable, but clearly, it wasn't the same for every woman.
He'd assumed she'd done it before, and in the heat of the moment, she failed to correct him.
While he was still inside of her, she gazed deeply into his eyes to see if he suspected. But clearly, he was so overcome with lust and desire...besides, it had all happened so fast.
"I'm sorry I didn't use a condom."
At first, his words didn't completely register. Her body was still trying to adjust to the end of their union.
"We need to get you set you up with plan B."
Oh. God.
What struck her the most was the panicked look on his face that screamed this was- such- a huge mistake.
She didn't know how long she stood there, frozen.
"I'll text you the number of an excellent OBGYN."
She shook her head. Thanks, but no thanks. She didn't need a man to choose her doctor.
He cocked his head curiously, "Are you on the pill?"
She shook her head no, focusing on smoothening her dress, obsessing over the wrinkles on the fabric. Anything felt better than looking at his face right now.
"Leave... please."
Remarkably, her voice held no anger, just a profound sense of disappointment.
This after-sex talk was nothing like she had ever imagined.
"I need you to leave," she reiterated. By now, her inner goddess had recovered enough to be a source of strength.
"Hey," He murmured, bridging the distance, reaching for her cheek.
"Don't," she turned away. Her body suddenly shook, angry at herself and at Christian. "Clearly, this was a mistake."
"It wasn't a mistake. I care about you, Anastasia," he said quietly, and for a moment, she wanted to believe him. "I'm only trying to do the right thing here."
"Just go. I have to go back. Jose must be wondering..."
"Okay, I'll go. But, I'll be back. You're not getting rid of me that easily," he stated arrogantly.
...
Ana waited until after Christian left to retrieve the ring. She couldn't simply return to her party and leave it there.
What on earth had she done?
The gravity of her predicament weighed heavily on her shoulders as she slid the ring back on and tried to think.
Should she try to follow plan B?
Right now, the easiest thing to do was nothing.
God, how did her life turn into such a pathetic mess?
"I'm sorry I took so long," she mumbled, returning to her seat next to Jose's mother, beating herself up with a million baseball bats.
She must be the worst female in the world. Wait, no. Carla was way worse.
Her inner goddess violently disagreed. Anastasia Steele, I watched you give away your cherry while still officially engaged to another man. That's as close as it gets to channeling mother dearest.
"Are you sure you're all right?" Jose asked her, taking her hand and giving it a Romeo-style kiss.
"I..." she stammered. "I'm not feeling well," she said. At least there was something she wasn't lying about.
How she wished somebody would shoot her right now and put her out of her misery.
Jose didn't deserve this, she thought. Never mind that Jose was no angel himself. He took advantage of her inebriated state on the night of his proposal. Even though she didn't remember all the details, he'd forced the issue by placing an impromptu call to his dying mother to announce their engagement.
"Please, Ana. It's her dying wish to see me married," he'd told her. " We would just be giving her hope...we don't even have to set the date."
She supposed, all things considered, the aftermath of her drinking binge could have been worse, much worse. She could have found herself in bed with Jose snoring beside her. God, in all his mercy, had taken pity on her.
Long story short, she'd gone along with the charade, partly because it was the path of the least resistance.
She supposed she was now reaping what she sowed. If only she leveled with Jose instead of using him as her backup in case her love life went to shit and she was still single by age thirty. Nice idea for a movie. Except this was real life, and she was no Julia Roberts. Only Julia could pull that off and come across as wholesome. In a classic tale of the ends justifying the means, the average movie-goer wanted her to succeed at breaking up her best friend's wedding, even if it meant glossing over her devious- mean girl actions.
"I'll take you home, sweetheart," Jose said.
Ana nodded, grabbed her purse, and said her goodbyes. Jose's parents were gracious; they were good people.
But then, in a flash of insight, she reconsidered her actions. How would she be able to sleep tonight? Wasn't she having enough problems with insomnia already? The last thing she needed was to bring her guilty conscience into the mix.
"I can't do this, Jose," she said.
Jose looked as if he had been struck by lightning. His gaze shifted nervously from Ana to his mother and back to Ana again.
"Ana...what's wrong?"
"I can't marry you, Jose. I'm sorry," she said, sliding the ring off her finger and placing it into his reluctant hand.
"She'll change her mind. I'm sure... it's just pre-graduation jitters," Jose told his parents apologetically.
Ana heard his words as she made her way out the door, breezing through the increasing chatter of the crowd.