A/N: Oh yes, we're back with my favorite storyline to hate.
Most days, Deeks was pretty good at keeping himself distracted from his current situation as a FLETC cadet. For the most part, it involved filling every spare moment he could do he didn't have time to consider anything else. If he was busy, if he was exhausted, then he didn't have the time to consider the true suckiness of it all.
Then there were days like today. He'd barely slept last night after an insanely frustrating day, and today he knew he'd face more of the same. Now that their automatic biases had worn off, most of his instructors had come to like him, or at the very least, appreciate that he knew what he was doing. There were a couple though, that seemed insistent on trying to knock him down a peg whenever possible.
That usually meant setting him overly complicated tasks or calling on him with particularly difficult questions. All the while, Deeks simmered with the knowledge that he'd done this for a living for years. He didn't need to simulate getting stuck in a car with a bomb, because he'd lived variations of that scenario a dozen times over.
When Deeks lost the positivity that most people knew him for, he did so spectacularly. His discontent turned to anger and melancholy, which quickly spiraled into a depression of sorts. Right now, he was still in the angry and unsettled state and after spending a sleepless night cooped up in his room, he needed to get out.
The campus kept a pretty strict curfew that lasted until six in the morning. As soon as it ended, Deeks hit one of the many trails surrounding the grounds. He'd become well acquainted with the dirt paths over the last several weeks between the daily mandatory runs and his own solo circuits.
The run didn't help nearly as much as he'd hoped. Though it had depleted some of his anger, he'd also had ample time to mull over everything from the last several weeks, which didn't improve his mood. By the time he made it back to his room, he was sore, sweaty, and still frustrated.
"Damn it," he swore when he checked his phone just a little after 7, and found a missed call from Kensi. He called her back, but of course she didn't answer. Spitting out a heartfelt and considerably less benign epithet, he dropped onto the bed with a sigh.
Being away from Kensi might be the worst part. Aside from missing her desperately, every day he was gone, the chance that something terrible would happen increased. Kessler, some other vindictive criminal, or the usual dangers that came with their jobs.
His alarm letting him know there was 45 minutes before his first class came far too soon. He dragged himself back off the bed, and headed downstairs to the cafeteria. He through the stations on autopilot, collecting a random bowl of fruit, toast, and eggs, even though he wasn't hungry, and chose a table as far back as possible.
"Hey Deeks," Jake said, swinging in beside Deeks with his tray. Apparently the subtle request for space hadn't worked. Deeks didn't need to look to know Charlie and Omar weren't far behind.
"Hey man."
"We were thinking of getting in some practice at the range after ethics. You wanna join us? Give us some more tips."
"Thanks, but I'm, uh, not really in the mood today," Deeks told him. He fully intended to go back to his room and fall into bed the moment he finished with the day's classes.
"Since when?" Charlie asked, digging into a pile of eggs. "Not to be rude, but you do kind of love to show off your marksmanship."
"To be fair, he's better than almost any other cadet. Even a couple teachers," Omar added with a chuckle. "Don't tell Ritcher I said that."
"Guys, I appreciate the offer. I'm really not up to the banter right now," Deeks snapped. There was a moment of silence, which was almost worse than the chatter.
Jake was the first to recover. "Woah. Did we do something to upset you?"
"Jake, give him some space," Omar said softly.
"No, it's ok." Deeks sighed. "I'm sorry. You guys didn't do anything. I am just…having a couple of rough days. I didn't mean to take it out on any of you."
"Hey, it happens, man." Omar's easy forgiveness almost drew a smile from Deeks. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"Not sure if you wanna hear me whine," Deeks said.
"Eh, you've put up with trying to teach us law, we handle it," Charlie decided, nudging Deeks' shoulder. "You'll feel better. And if you don't, we'll sneak in some beer."
"Oh lord, just what I need. Contraband." This time, Deeks actually did smile.
"So, what's going on?" Charlie prompted again.
Sighing, Deeks tried to gather his tumultuous feelings into a cohesive thought. "Sometimes…it feels like me being here is pointless," he started. "I mean, what am I really gaining from being here? Are a couple months of classes I don't really need going to make a difference to either of the organizations that decided my skills are no longer or use them? I'm not helping my team. I'm certainly not supporting my team. And when this is over, I have no real guarantee that any of it will be worth it."
He'd said more than he intended, and while it was certainly therapeutic to give a voice to his frustration, it felt like he'd provided potential ammunition.
"I disagree. You've made a huge difference and you do have a purpose," Charlie argued unexpectedly. He almost looked angry, which was odd given the topic.
"How so?" Deeks asked.
Charlie gestured between himself, Omar, and Jake. "You're looking at the evidence right here. You've taught us so much we never would have gotten on our own."
"You would have been fine."
"Maybe," Omar said. "It would have been a lot harder. Even without the tutoring, you've been a mentor like no one else. You don't judge or try to make things harder to prove a point." He paused and looked directly at Deeks. "I know you'd rather be back with your team, and your family, but you do have a purpose here. Even if it's not the one you expected."
"What he said," Jake said.
"That's pretty smart," Deeks murmured.
"Well, we learned from the best."
"Thanks for the pep talk."
"It's only fair, you've given us enough of them," Charlie reasoned. "You feel better."
"Minutely," Deeks said honestly.
"Well, there's still the option for some liquid cheer."
Shaking his head, Deeks held his hands up. "As your lawyer and a cadet, I'm removing myself from this conversation before I'm implicated in any of this."
"Sweet, we've got a lawyer," Jake said enthusiastically.
As the banter continued, Deeks sat back. He wasn't anywhere near happy, but he supposed it did help to know his time here wasn't completely wasted.
A/N: If you're unfamiliar with Charlie, Jake, and Omar, I have a whole AU FLETC storyline for Deeks that goes much differently that the canon events.
I've always figured that going to FLETC with Deeks' level of experience and skill would be quite frustrating in many ways. He'd undoubtedly taken many of the courses as continuing ed as we saw in early on in the show and learned through hands-on experience.