'Can we do something this weekend?'

'Hey, you're not replying to my texts.'

'I don't think we spend enough time together.'

'You know, I'm worried about you.'

'I think you should find a job.'

'You don't look at me the same way, anymore.'

'This isn't working out.'

'Do you even still love me?'

The faces and voices of Bart's exes were shifting one into the other. Jessica, Greta, Darcy, Mary, Nikki, Jenny, Annika, many others through middle school, high school, parties, every single one up to Angela. They each reminded him of the guilt he felt during all his relationships. But it wasn't his fault, he thought as he listened on to the spiraling chorus of their judgement. Yet he couldn't deny that it just never worked out.

As the faces changed and became more grown-up, the present started catching up. They all gave him a worried or dirty look, and their words changed.

'Oh, so you're with a man?'

'I didn't know you were bi, Bart.'

'You're with an old guy?'

'But he's, like, a criminal!'

'Didn't he use to wanna kill you, though?'

'This is weird.'

'You let him do what to you?'

'That is so messed up!'

'So, what is it? It can't be serious between you and him, right?

'What will your family think?'

Those questions and comments hit harder somehow, and Bart found nothing to reply to them. All those weird looks were scrutinizing him in the worst way, and he knew they all had a point.

'Hush, now. Don't you worry about a thing.' He felt a hand land on his shoulder as the soothing baritone voice came from behind him. He didn't dare turn around, for fear it would disappear and stop saying those comforting words.

"Is it right, though?" He asked the voice.

But no answer came. When he eventually turned around, he was relieved to find Bob's tall figure, although he was standing far away from him, enough so that he couldn't make out the expression on his face.

'Look into yourself, and the answer will come to you.'

Bart scoffed irritably. "I don't want some stupid old saying, Bob, I want some real advice!" He snapped, feeling bad for being angry at him.

'It doesn't have to be perfect. What do you want it to be?'

He didn't answer right away. Mostly because he wasn't even sure what the other man meant. "Wait... What are you talking about?"

'Ever the indecisive, I see,' Bob sneered. He couldn't quite see it, but his smirk was obvious. 'That's how your relationships usually end, don't they? You can never make your mind up.'

Bart clenched his fists. That jerk had to go right where it hurt. "Hey! How can I not be indecisive, here? This is the most complicated relationship I've ever had! With you! I want it, but it's like it's forbidden!"

'Is it?' Bob asked simply, then let his question hang in the air and weigh hard on his mind.

"You're not helping, you know," he told the figure. "I guess it's not forbidden, but you know damn well that's not the problem."

'If you want 'us', then...' the figure began, but didn't finish his sentence.

"Then, what?" Bart asked, spreading the palms of his hands out expectantly. The cryptic palmtree was starting to get on his nerves, and if he had to walk right up to him to tell him off, he was ready to do so.

"Then accept it," Bob's face was suddenly in front of his, his voice loud and clear, his disapproving expression reflecting that of all his exes. Bart was grabbed harshly by the shoulders, and despite wanting nothing more than to get closer to the man right in front of him, he instead felt his body being pulled backwards. Everything became a blur until his eyes opened slowly.

He woke up in his bed, sweaty, his head fuzzy. He reached his hand out on his mattress, but the space next to him was sadly empty.

"Yeah, Bob, I want 'us'," he mumbled to the rest of the bed.

He reluctantly got up, unable to fall back asleep. It was still early, but since he was feeling so hollow inside and bored out of his mind, he thought he might as well leave for his parents' house now.

"Hello, sweetie! Good to see you so soon!"

Marge was pleasantly surprised when her son rang the familiar doorbell to 742, Evergreen Terrace. Bart walked in with a big smile, and though it was a bit exaggerated, it felt genuine as he was happy to be here, showered in his mother's kisses. Homer was lying on the couch, as per usual, and Maggie ran over to him to give him a big hug. He knew the young girl was sad her big brother had left the nest, even more so now that her sister would soon leave too, but she never showed it. Bart felt somewhat envious of her for being more in touch with her own feelings than he was.

Perhaps a talk with his other sister would help. He climbed up the stairs, passed by his old bedroom that was now under renovation and walked up to the next bedroom.

"Hey, Lis," he greeted her at her door. She was sitting at her desk, probably studying or filling out some papers for university. Of course, what else would she be doing on a warm Sunday morning, he thought humorously.

"Hey, Bart. Are you alright?" She asked, spinning around on her chair and noticing his long face.

"No..."

"Why? What's going on?"

He closed the bedroom door behind him to prevent unfortunate eavesdropping, from their parents or from a very curious Maggie. He sat on her bed and remembered the times Lisa had come to his bedroom to talk with him. This time, he was the one needing her help, although he had no idea if she even wanted to talk about it.

"Bob is away," he began, ignoring the small wince on her sister's face. "He's off to Italy for a month and... Damn, I miss him. I miss him so fucking much."

Lisa was visibly trying her best to remain open-minded and understanding, but was obviously struggling to find the words. "Bart... I'm not sure what to say. Do you want to talk about it?"

Bart looked back at her. If there was someone he could really confide in here, it would be her. He lied down on her bed and stared up at the plain ceiling, remembering the few times he went to a therapist. He decided to turn off all filters, hopefully she would listen.

"I can't stop thinking about him. It's been so... special, with him. It's not like anything I've ever had before." He paused and laughed. "Well, I mean, obviously it's different, but in a good way. He... He makes me feel better about myself? He does. Or maybe it's just because I managed to keep a job for once? Maybe it's everything at once."

"Like you said, you have a steady job now, and your own place," she explained when he paused again. "It all happened one thing right after the other, and... Sidesh- Bob just happened to be there."

Bart grinned at the ceiling. "He took me on a date before he left. Like, a real, honest date, in a fancy restaurant and all. Sure, we fucked like mad too, but... It felt nice, being..." he stopped in his tracks. The word wouldn't escape his lips, like it was stuck somewhere between his stomach and his throat and he felt the world would shatter if it was let out. "I- I thought it was just fucked-up sex. You know, with my mortal enemy. Exciting, thrilling. It was, and it still is, but now..." He gulped. "Shit, I'm pretty sure I'm in love, now. With him."

Bart waited. The universe didn't collapse in on itself. He didn't die right on the spot for admitting he loved Sideshow Bob, the room didn't even move an inch. Nothing bad happened.

He blinked a few times, remembering who he had been spilling his guts to. He propped himself up on his elbows, worried about his sister's reaction.

Lisa had her eyes closed, probably processing as much as he was the sudden revelation. "Bart..."

"What?"

"We didn't have time to really talk about this, but is he still... You know, dangerous?" She asked carefully.

"Lis, I've told you-"

"I know, I know. He would have killed you already, but aren't you scared he might revert back to his... murderous tendencies?"

Bart laughed. She was right to be worried, after all, it wouldn't be the first it happened. "Don't worry, he still takes his evil urges out on me," he admitted with a crooked smile.

"What?" Lisa asked in shock. "What do you mean?"

He gave her his best fake innocent look. "I'm not going into details, Lis. Trust me, you don't wanna know."

She eyed him for a while, her mouth agape. She was open-minded, but Bart knew even she still needed time. She took a deep breath and shook her head slowly, as if to chase intrusive thoughts of her brother gleefully tortured by Sideshow Bob. "So, uhm, you love him. What about him?"

Bart stopped to give it a thought. He recalled every single moment with Bob that last day, every word he said. 'You don't have to tell me anything, Bart. I already know. And it is mutual.' Just thinking about that moment made his heart skip a beat.

"I think he does." Now that he said it out loud, the fog in his mind lifted and his doubts faded away. "No, I know he does."

"Have you told him?"

He shrugged, genuinely not sure. "Maybe I did... Maybe I should."

Lisa opened her mouth and was about to say something when a voice called them from downstairs. Family lunch was ready.

Marge always acted as though she had to outdo herself every time. The table was full of platters, delicious-looking food and drinks to celebrate Lisa's college admission, as well as Bart's apartment and job. It was a feast for the eyes. Ever since the eldest Simpson sibling had moved out, the best he had managed to scrape up was mac and cheese, when he didn't microwave a pizza. He wasted no time digging into the food, and neither did the rest of the family. After enjoying his mother's cooking for the first time in what seemed like ages, he wanted to get something off his chest.

"I have something to tell you guys," he began uncomfortably, causing all eyes to turn to him.

"Oh, man... Did you get fired from your job again?"

"No, Homer, I've still got my job," he replied dully to his father.

"What is it, sweetie? Nothing bad, I hope?" Marge asked after giving her husband a pointed look.

Bart hesitated, and noticed that Lisa gave him a nervous glance. "You know how I've been dating girls all my life... Well, turns out I also like guys."

There was a pause, a very awkward one, during which all eyes turned to Homer.

"Why are you all looking at me like that?" He asked from the end of the table.

"I dunno, I guess we expected a reaction."

The father shrugged, somewhat offended. "Why? Sure, he's into guys, so what? He's still the same Bart we know."

"Wow, Dad! I'm surprised by your reaction," Lisa congratulated.

"Heh, I was expecting you to be gay, so I was prepared to hear that," he added, pointing at his older daughter who was raising her eyebrows in surprise.

"What's important is that you're happy, Bart," Marge quickly interrupted. "That's all we wish for you."

"I also like guys," Maggie chimed in, earning an amused look from everyone.

"And we accept you for that," Bart said solemnly with a pat on her head, making everyone laugh. The conversation soon went on to many other topics, and it was a relief for him since he wanted anything but more questions.

Today was definitely a good day. The birds were chirping around Bart who was lying on the hammock, ready to take a nap under the summer sun after eating without restraint, and enjoying the large backyard of his parents' house. He appreciated it all like never before - it was like he had a new outlook on life. He allowed his mind to wander off but was soon brought back to reality by his twelve-year-old little sister.

"So, Bart, do you have a boyfriend?" Maggie asked her big brother with all her curiosity.

His eyes snapped open. He wasn't too good with improvisation. "Err... Yeah, maybe."

"What do you mean, 'maybe'? Do you have a boyfriend or not?"

He hesitated far too long to have a chance to hide it. She was insistant, too, and she could very well tell he was hiding something. "Well, I don't know, yet. But hush about that, alright?"

"Oh, I won't tell," she promised, and remained right by his side with a giddy smile on her face. Bart turned his head and was about to shoo her when she said something he didn't expect. "Is it Milhouse?"

Bart nearly fell off his hammock. "It's not Milhouse!" he almost shouted.

"Alright, alright!" Maggie said before running away giggling.

He sighed. "Why would it be Milhouse? We're only best friends," he mumbled under his breath. Yet it made him realize there would only be more questions about his relationships from now on, and he wasn't looking forward to those. Coming out to his parents was a step in the right direction, but he still had a big secret he wanted to keep away from them. Maggie stepped back into the house, switching places with Lisa who walked into the backyard to meet him.

"Hey, are you alright?" She asked, seemingly worried.

"Yeah, 'course I am," he replied casually, then smirked at her. "You thought I was going to tell Mom and Dad about... him, didn't you?"

Her eyes darted around in embarrassment. "Well, I almost thought you were going to, yeah. I'm glad you didn't."

Bart snickered and settled himself back onto the hammock. "Pssh, I don't want Homer to have another heart attack. I think that was enough of an announcement for today."

"Yeah, for sure," she agreed. "So, when is Bob coming back?"

"In two weeks."

"Are you looking forward to it?"

"Hell, yeah, he's coming back, for me..." he mumbled before he felt himself slip away into the most comfortable nap.