Author's note: This has a trigger warning. The first part of the chapter talks about Dee's injury and there is talk about his private area and the effects of his injury.
...
Chapter 274 – Hard Conversation
It had been a long weekend and everyone ended up sleeping in before they had brunch at the hotel. Everyone double checked their rooms to make sure nothing was forgotten, then Wynn and Dee took the Hogan family to the train station with their luggage and the stuff being taken back to Hope Valley. Frank and Abigail promised to keep in touch. Wynn reminded them that they would be back before long, but if they needed anything to just reach out. Once the Hogan family was safely on the train heading toward Hope Valley, Wynn and Dee went back to the hotel. Dee loaded as much luggage as he could into his car and then put the rest into his parents car. He then left for the train station so he could check on the horses before they all boarded an eastbound train.
Just after three, the Delaney's train pulled out of Union City. Once moving and Elizabeth Rose was settled, Wynn excused himself and went across the corridor to speak to his son.
"May I come in and speak to you for a moment." Wynn said, when Dee opened the door.
Dee stepped back and let his father into his compartment.
"Yes, Dad." Dee said as he shut the door and turned to face his father.
"Care to tell me what happened last night." Wynn said. "First it was the look at the pub. Then it was leaving and not fulfilling your promise to Cody to play checkers."
Dee turned bright red and ducked his head. He couldn't look at his father. He was embarrassed and didn't want to be having this particular conversation with his father. If he was honest, Dee didn't want to have this conversation with anyone.
"Dee." Wynn said. "I am going to ask you a question and I want the truth."
Dee didn't respond. He didn't even look at his father. He just stood there with his head down.
"When you were injured in Cape Fullerton." Wynn said. "Were you injured in your genital region and have been hiding it?"
Dee froze. He couldn't respond. He was so embarrassed, he couldn't even look at his father. He turned even redder than he was. Wynn walked over and stood mere inches in front of his son.
"Dee." Wynn said. "Please look at me. You are my son and I will love you no matter what. Nothing is going to change how much I love you. I just want to be able to be there for you."
Still no response from Dee. Wynn put his hands on his son's shoulders.
"Winston Nathaniel." Wynn said, his voice soft, despite the use of his formal name. "Let's try this again. I KNOW something happened when you were in Cape Fullerton. I don't have the exact details, but I saw you within hours of you being brought to the hospital. You were unconscious and they were getting you ready for surgery. I saw the bruises on your body, head to toe. I helped the Mountie document them before you were taken for surgery. They hadn't even cleaned up all the blood when I saw you. I didn't want to see you like that, but I did. I know something has been going on. I have tried to give you space, but I am concerned. So what happened last night?"
Dee swallowed hard and was unable to hold back the tears anymore. He had no idea his father had seen him like that. He understood a bit more why his father had been so protective of him and always making sure he was okay. Wynn wrapped his son in a hug and Dee let him, which was the first time he had done that in a very long time.
"Yes, I was injured." Dee said through the tears. "I will never look normal and may never be able to be with a woman that way. But that is not what happened last night."
"Let's sit." Wynn said. "Please talk to me and explain."
Dee let out a harsh breath and took a seat. Wynn sat down and quietly prayed for his son. He knew that it wasn't an easy conversation, but one that they needed to have.
"Frank and Doug." Dee said.
Dee closed his eyes. He took a deep breath. He was determined to get through it and he needed to keep his emotions in check to do so.
"They both told me to give myself a break." Dee said. "They were not worried and said that some or all of what I lost might come back, but I needed to give myself at least a year."
Dee stopped and took a couple more deep breaths. He didn't realize how hard it would be to have the conversation.
"Okay." Wynn said. "So if I understand this correctly, you have difficulty getting or maintaining a normal man's response to things."
Dee nodded.
"But at the moment." Wynn continued. "That is not the problem and you are not concerned about it because of a conversation with Frank and Doug. With both of them telling you to give it time."
Again, Dee nodded.
"So what was the problem last night?" Wynn asked. "I just want to help you if I can If it means finding you a doctor, I can do that."
Dee slowly blew out another breath.
"Sometimes." Dee said.
Dee took a deep breath and slowly blew it out.
"Sometimes." Dee said. "I still have difficulty using the water closet and it can become painful."
"And that is what happened last night." Wynn said.
Dee nodded, again.
"But you are doing better now?" Wynn asked.
"Yes." Dee said. "The doctors explained that there were things that I could do to try and relieve the pain and pressure. If they didn't work within a certain time period, I would need to seek medical intervention, preferable in a hospital to have it taken care of.
"Okay." Wynn said. "Thank you for telling me. I hope that you would be comfortable enough to tell me if you need medical attention. Can I ask you something else, related to this?"
Dee nodded. He was almost sure he knew what was coming and he wasn't sure he was ready to answer.
"Is this why you haven't asked Annie anything, yet?" Wynn said.
"It is part of it." Dee said. "She wants nothing more than to be a wife and mother. I didn't think it was fair to ask her when I wasn't sure I could give her that. I wasn't even sure I could give her a normal physical relationship and that is unfair to expect her to have a husband who might never be able to love her like he should. Even if I could … I don't know if I could give her a child. The doctors just don't know."
"But something has changed." Wynn said.
"Maybe." Dee said.
"And that somehow involves Frank and Doug." Wynn said.
"You know that Doug was severely injured as a teen." Dee said.
"Yes." Wynn said. "I don't have the details, but I know it delayed his entry into the academy. I know he has scars on his back as I have seen them when his shirt rode up some."
"Well, not my story to share." Dee said. "But suffice to say, he had similar injuries to me. Even after he healed and the doctors saw no reason for it, he still couldn't feel any … excitement like he had before. He told me it took a long time, but he accepted that it might not happen for him. He resigned himself to never having a wife or children. Then one day he was riding and saw a girl swimming without a costume on and everything changed. He said it had been as much in his head as it had been something physical. He said when he stopped worrying about what might or might not happen and just dealt with what had happened, it helped. He said to give myself at least a year to physically heal and in the mean time to work on dealing with the emotions, feelings and such of what happened."
"And Frank said something similar from his own experience." Wynn said.
"More or less." Dee said. He also encouraged me to sit down and have an honest conversation with Annie."
"Thank you for telling me." Wynn said. "I will leave things for now, unless you specifically ask for something."
"Thank you." Dee said.
"The only thing I will say." Wynn said. "Don't write Annie off or push her away. Talk to her and give her a chance and a choice. She might surprise you."
"Thank you, again." Dee said. "I called her Friday night and we have plans to talk when I get home."
"Okay." Wynn said.
"Now, can we never speak of this conversation again." Dee said.
"Yes." Wynn said. "I will leave you be and talk to you later."
Dee nodded and watched his father leave his compartment. Dee got up and locked the door. He then sat down and buried his head in his hands in embarrassment. He had absolutely no idea how he was going to have this conversation with Annie. Then he thought it might actually be less embarrassing to talk to her. He wasn't sure that was possible, but he hoped and prayed that conversation would go better.
It was shortly after five thirty when the stagecoach pulled to a stop in Hope Valley. Abigail was not surprised that Jacobs was standing there under the gazebo waiting for them. Frank hopped down, nodded to Jacobs and then turned to help Abigail and Becky down. Cody insisted on jumping down himself.
"Welcome back." Jacobs said. "How did you do?"
"First place." Becky said. "Mr Landis was so mad. His student, a boy, didn't even place, which is a fancy prep school."
"Congratulations." Jacobs said. "I told you that you would do great. Why don't you take Cody and head inside out of the rain. I will help Pastor Frank with the luggage."
"Come on Cody." Becky said.
Becky and Cody hurried across the way to get inside where it was warmer. Frank leaned over and gave Abigail a quick kiss.
"Go get dry and warm." Frank said. "I will be in to warm up in just a bit."
"Okay." Abigail said.
She picked up the carpet bag that she had bought out of the stagecoach. She nodded to Jacobs and then left. Frank didn't say anything, but just went about getting the rest of the luggage down. Once everything was down and they were standing under the gazebo, Jacobs took a moment to look Frank up and down. He thought something was different, but couldn't put his finger on it. He shook his head and just looked at Frank.
"Something is different about you." Jacobs said. "I don't know what, but something is definitely different."
"Okay." Frank said. "Same as I have been. Let's get inside, I am chilled and want to warm up. The ride here the last hour was miserable with the wind and driving rain coming in.
Frank picked up the two cases, leaving the small trunk and two crates for Jacobs. Jacobs grabbed the rest and followed Frank, still trying to figure out what was different.
"Just put it over by the stairs." Abigail said. "I will sort it out later."
Jacobs nodded and put it where Abigail had said.
"I will leave you be." Jacobs said. "Go ahead and get settled tonight and we will talk tomorrow."
"Anything I need to know right now?" Abigail asked.
"No cadets for breakfast." Jacobs said. "I did the paperwork for you to get paid. It is ready to send to regional headquarters in Union City. It just needs your signature. It is on your desk at the office with other paperwork. Oh, here are your keys."
Abigail took the keys from Jacobs.
"I will talk to you in the morning." Abigail said. "Thank you for everything."
Jacobs nodded and left. He was tired and frustrated Abigail turned and looked at Patty after Jacobs left.
"Sit." Patty said. "I will get you you all some supper and then explain."
Frank, Abigail and the kids all sat at the table. Patty quickly brought over the meal that she had made for them. Once they had been served, Frank said a quick prayer and then they ate. Abigail took a couple bites before she looked at Patty.
"First I want to say that as bad it this is going to sound, it really wasn't that bad." Patty said. "It was just frustrating for those of us involved, but I don't think the citizens as a whole knew there was a problem."
"Okay." Abigail said.
"So Thursday was fine." Patty said. "Then Friday, starting in the early afternoon, things spiraled out of control. We were busy, but had it handled with Jacobs and the cadets helping over here at the cafe. It was just as we were finishing the lunch rush when the cadets started to kickoff. They didn't want to listen to Jacobs or Ann and I was getting frustrated. I got Jacobs to walk away before he lost it, telling him to send the eight cadets not on guard over.
When the cadets got here, they were mouthy and I had enough. I took their serges and told them they didn't deserve to wear them. They claimed I couldn't do it. I told them to try me. Then decided to end it – quickly."
"I am almost afraid to ask." Frank said.
"I took them over to the new addition." Patty said. "I made them lean again the wall, with their knees at ninety degrees and stay there."
"Wall chairs." Frank said. "You don't mess around."
"I had warned them to behave." Patty said.
"How long did you make them stay like that?" Frank asked.
"Two hours – no moving, no talking." Patty said. "Anyone who failed, owed me a half cord of wood for every fifteen minutes left on the clock."
"There must have been something more." Abigail said.
Patty nodded, but motioned toward the kids. Abigail nodded.
"What is a cord of wood?" Cody asked.
"A unit of volume." Frank said.
"It is a stack of split wood." Becky said. "Eight feet long, four feet high and four feet wide for a total of one hundred twenty-eight cubic feet of wood."
"Correct." Patty said. "And before you ask. They racked up a total of twenty and half cords of wood."
"So what happened after that?" Abigail asked.
"When Jacobs came back." Patty said. "They didn't think it was fair because the other two weren't being punished, but they had been doing what they were assigned without complaint at the time. I said they will be helping in the kitchen for supper, because they were all going to be busy. Jacobs took the group of eight and got them started on chopping the wood they owed us."
"Where did Jacobs find that much wood?" Frank asked.
"A piece of Bill's land that needed to be cleared anyway." Patty said. "Jack and Doug had gone out to supervise for a while and they were giving Jack a hard time about sitting doing nothing. So he made them sorry. He decided they had been getting too comfortable, so he took their comfort. He refused to allow them to step foot in the cafe if they weren't helping. They would no longer be eating our cooking, but they would heat rations over a fire.
They ended up chopping wood for close to four hours on Friday evening. When they came back, my understanding was they were given their rations and told to that there would be silence until further notice. They were told to eat, and then were restricted to the tents unless otherwise directed. I know that Doug stopped by and let me know that he would be taking them for a run on Saturday morning and then he would be in for breakfast.
Anyway, Bill and Joe caught two who had snuck over to the saloon to have a drink. From my understanding, they were escorted back by a very upset Bill and warned if anyone left the tent again, they would be arrested. Friday night ended up being busy with all the new people in town and the men back from Rock Creek. The saloon didn't quiet down until after eleven."
"Remind me to put that on the list of the council meeting." Abigail said.
"I will." Frank said.
Becky and Cody finished eating, said their goodnights and took their stuff upstairs. They knew it had been a long weekend and they had school the next day.
"So what happened yesterday?" Frank asked.
"The two who had been at the schoolhouse on Friday were sent to help over here." Patty said. "That was after Doug took them all on a seven mile run. The rest spent the rest of the day chopping wood. They were up there all day, but they were able to get it all chopped. We were busy here because it was nice despite the few early morning showers. I guess Lee is running an almost full crew on Saturdays and at least a half of crew on Sundays. The house are coming along and the saws are going close to twelve hours a day."
"I take it the cadets haven't eaten here all weekend." Abigail said.
"Correct." Patty said.
"What did they do today since you weren't open." Abigail asked.
"Joe and Doug put a show on." Patty said. "They ran the Regimental drills for three hours until the rain forced them to stop. Jack and Jeremiah refused to let the cadets have anything other then rations and unless they were doing an assigned task, they were under orders to be silent and in their tent."
"I have heard about that." Frank said. "No speaking unless asked a direct question by someone of a higher rank. I have heard it least up to a week."
"Yep." Patty said. "Weather permitting, it sounds like Jeremiah plans to take all ten cadets to Benson Hills along with a few of the tents. If they don't change their attitude, and quickly, they won't graduate next month."
"Wynn said something about that." Frank said.
Patty nodded.