Part 1

The people here sure are hospitable! Free food and drinks for free? Being an adventurer is way better than a Fixer!

I have no idea what meat these 'fried wyvern' and 'giant toads' and whatnot are made of, but they sure are tasty despite their odd names! Of course, it's not as good as HamHamPangPang, but good enough to be compared!

There was also that brown-haired guy that paid for my license. I never got his name, but I should repay him. Is a thousand Eris a lot in this world? I wonder how much a single Eris is in Ahn.

While eating, I've also received suspicious amounts of invitations from adventurers who want me in their party. There are no Offices, but an adventurer party is its equivalent here.

I declined them all.

"Ah, that hits the spot."

I'm glad the guild decided to cover my expenses for the duration of the day. I'm dead broke and three bottles down, and this is some quality stuff. I'd be in even greater debt if it wasn't for that.

"Oh, there you are."

The guy that paid for my registration approached me. Three women followed behind him.

Looking at them now, they all had very striking colors. The man in green, the armored one in yellow, the witch in red, and the blue one. Reminds me of other people.

It would be very awkward if these were those people.

"Yep. Being an adventurer is good stuff, huh? I'll repay you that Eris stuff later."

He shook his head. "No, don't worry about it. A thousand isn't really much and you gave everyone in the guild a free feast. Consider it paid."

I grabbed one of the many wooden mugs of beer on the table and raised it.

"Cheers to free stuff!"

"Cheers to drinks!"

His blue haired companion was more than eager to pick up a cup, and he soon followed.

Another one down.

"Right, I never got your name! I'm Roland, former Fixer and currently one handsome adventurer."

I extended a hand to him which he soon took.

"I'm Satou Kazuma, former student and currently a fellow handsome adventurer."

"Former hikiNEET."

The blue one chimed in.

"Current lolicon."

The red one added.

"And an orcish sadist panty stealer…"

The yellow one finished. I'll choose to ignore the way she said that, though.

"Shut up, all of you! You're ruining my first impressions!"

What the hell is a hikiNEET and lolicon?

"Nice to meet you. What about your friends?"

The red one with an eyepatch and staff immediately struck a pose.

"Ah, I see you, too, have been captivated by my mystic charm."

She spoke in a low voice and continued, now louder. "My name is Megumin, the strongest mage from the Crimson Demon Clan! Daughter of the great Yuiyui and Hyoizaburo, I wield the greatest of all magic, capable of destroying mountains and shattering the earth itself; Explosion!"

She's very enthusiastic if anything. Is this how people typically introduce themselves? Kazuma didn't, but he's also from the City. I'll match her so I don't look rude.

"Woah, I love the enthusiasm! In that case, you are lucky to be seen by I, Roland! A Grade 1 Fixer from the legendary Charles' Office, the murderer of the Blood-red Night and many more! Though I was demoted to Grade 9 and only began my journey as an adventurer, I hold imperishable power matched only by the greatest of Color Fixers!"

Nailed it. I think.

I glanced over to Kazuma whose face was buried in his hands.

"Hoh? Yes, I see it now! You are one of us, worthy of witnessing my devastating Explosion!"

"Yeah! I'd love to see that one day."

Kazuma then grabbed Megumin by the back of her collar and lifted her away.

"Stop infecting Roland with your chuunibyou virus!"

What the hell is a chuunibyou?

"Ufufu, then it's my turn. I am Aqua—yes, the one and only Goddess of Water worshipped by the Religious Order of Axis! I expect you to pray to me at least three times a day and praise me!"

"Wait, are you an actual goddess? You know Charon, then?"

"Who? But, yes, I am. You've been graced by a real goddess!"

I looked towards Kazuma.

"She's just delusional, ignore her."

"Shut up you stupid hikiNEET!"

It seemed like this was common banter between these two.

Even Megumin sighed.

"Despite being the greatest archpriest of our age, she suffers from such a condition."

Huh. Guess she's not a goddess after all. At the very least, she confirmed that dramatic introductions are common courtesy here.

"Well, it's nice to meet you anyway. What about you? Some kind of knight?"

I addressed the tall yellow one. She fixed her posture before replying.

"Yes. My name is Darkness and my calling is that of a crusader."

"Huh. That wasn't as flashy an introduction as I thought. Good to make your acquaintance, yeah."

"Hah… You're a battle master, so you must have a lot of weapons, right?"

"Uh, yeah. I only had a sword before, but now I can use pretty much anything."

She slammed her hands onto the table and leaned in close to me. Really close.

"Then you must have whips, right!? Heh heh, using them to punish disobedient maidens and using branding irons—"

This woman is worse than the Musicians of Bremen!

"Woah, you gotta slow down, miss! I don't do that, never have!"

Kazuma just shook his head and dragged the heavily breathing Darkness out of the guild.

"Sorry about my companions, they're really annoying."

"Huh? Who are you calling annoying?!" Aqua interjected.

"Aqua. Should I explode him?"

"See what I mean?"

"Ah, don't worry about it. Other than that Darkness lady, these two seem like good upstanding people! I've met worse, believe me. There was this Blue Sicko—"

Wait.

If everyone who dies can get reincarnated, does that include Argalia? If so, then the Librarians and Angela…

"What was that about some blue thing?"

"Nothing, just rambling about my past."

"Speaking of," he took a seat across from me. His companions joined him, including Darkness who had just entered the guild again. It looks like I'm being interrogated. "I wanted to ask about that! Not everyday you meet someone else from earth that isn't a total douche!"

"… What the hell is an earth? You mean like soil?"

"Huh? Wait, aren't you also reincar…" he looked at Darkness and Megumin. "Aren't you from the same hometown as me? Earth?"

"Is that E Corp.?"

Aqua leaned in close to Kazuma and whispered. Rather loudly, too.

"Kazuma, I don't think he's from earth. I don't even know who Charon is."

"I'm surprised you even remembered anything he mentioned, let alone a name," he whispered back. Quieter, but my ears still picked up on them. He cleared his throat and addressed me again.

"Roland. Do you recognize the word 'Japan'?"

"Nope. Do you recognize the terms 'Head', 'Wing', 'Nest' or 'Outskirts'?"

"I get the words, but not what you mean by them."

He sighed.

"Uh, just to be sure, you aren't a native here, right? Got here through a pure white room?"

Is it taboo to resurrect here too? That's the only reason I can think of that he and Aqua are being hush-hush about it. I'll keep quiet about it to be safe, then.

"Yep. And an old man let you choose where you wanted to go?"

After hearing my statement, Kazuma's cheeks puffed up like he was holding a laugh and he looked at Aqua.

"Ahaha! Aqua, an old man! You're an old man!"

The alleged old man then grabbed him by the collar and violently shook him.

I asked the archmage and crusader. "This a normal thing?"

"Yes."

They replied in unison.

They stopped eventually.

"Ahem. It wasn't an old man, no, just a useless bitch."

"You! You-u!"

Again, he was strangled.

"Makes sense. The way he talked, it did sound like there were more of them. Did you get offered an item to bring with you too?"

His head fell. Reluctantly, he raised his finger and pointed at Aqua. "I chose that thing…"

"What's that supposed to mean, you pervert shut-in!? Who are you calling a thing?!"

"It means that I should have chosen a different gift instead!"

They argued. Again. For the eighteenth time. Not really, but I couldn't be bothered to count.

Megumin and Darkness have been talking to each other all the while.

"Well, what about you? Your stats were really high. Did you choose some kind of strong buff?"

"I didn't choose anything they offered, actually. I just asked to take these gloves with me."

I answered as I took them out of my pockets and showed them off.

Darkness was the first to respond.

"Gloves… Ah, Roland, you brute! Do you use them to punish unruly maids!? No, no. You aren't like Kazuma the Brute. Yes, ah. You use them to choke—"

"No. None of that. You're giving people the wrong idea about me."

"H-hold on!" Kazuma yelled out. "I don't do any of that either! And why did you choose gloves? I chose Aqua, but why gloves?"

"It's a lot more useful than anything they were offering. Also has that sentimental value effect."

"I see." He was clearly not convinced. "How come your stats are so high, though?"

"I was average as far as Grade 1 Fixers went in the City. Grade 1 did mean I was the cream of the crop, of course, so I guess I'm just that skilled, huh?"

"Please get rid of the smug look on your face. But I'm still surprised. Unlike Aqua, all of your important stats are really high! Or Luna said, anyway."

This 'Luna' then spoke out over a speaker at this exact moment.

"Emergency broadcast! Emergency broadcast! Attention all adventurers, please prepare all your equipment and gather at the town's main gate ready for battle!"

Kazuma groaned.

"Again? There's been so many recently."

Hold on, I just became an adventurer an hour ago. Isn't this too sudden?

Luna repeated the announcement and added at the end:

"Especially Satou Kazuma-san and his companions, please head to the scene as soon as possible!"

"… Huh?"

Seems he was as dumbfounded as I was.

At least I can judge how strong enemies here are.

"Let's go, Kazuma! I sense a powerful threat worthy of my explosions!"

"Yes. I am prepared to give my body to protect the people of this town!"

"We'll get a lot of money by participating!"

"You heard your friends. Time to see what this is all about."

I finished the last cup of beer on the table and joined the many adventurers on their way out of the guild.

Part 2

I rushed to the main gate.

The lightly-armored me led the way, with Aqua and Megumin following shortly after. Only the heavily-armored Darkness was lagging behind. I couldn't see where Roland was.

"Just as I suspected. This guy's here again."

There were already many adventurers gathered by the time I reached the main gate.

Standing some distance away from the crowd of adventurers was him again. The Demon King's General, Dullahan.

Though, it's more accurate to say the adventurers were keeping a respectable distance from him.

I was curious when I saw the troubled faces of the adventurers ahead of me, but I understood why when I looked at what was behind the Dullahan.

Unlike last time, he was host to a whole army of monsters. A group of thin-looking knights wearing tattered armor.

Compared to the big and well-armored Dullahan, the cracks in their armor and helmets were visible. Even more visible was the rotting flesh hiding underneath.

They were undead.

The Dullahan roared the second Megumin and I squeezed our way to the front of the adventurers.

"Why didn't you come to the castle, you inhuman—!"

I walked in front of Megumin and interrupted the Dullahan.

"You invited us to the castle, but that doesn't mean we have to go! And what do you mean by 'inhuman'? We stopped casting explosion magic, so why are you angry?"

The Dullahan was furious.

"Stopped casting explosion?! You say it stopped?! That's a barefaced lie! That crazy Crimson Demon girl is still coming to my castle every day! The whole week, it was just boom boom boom boom!"

Huh?

I turned to Megumin. She averted her eyes immediately.

…

"Ow! Ow! Ow! It hurts! Stop! That's not it, please listen to me, Kazuma! I was satisfied with casting explosion on an empty plain not so long ago, but after I learned the allure of attacking a castle with magic, well… Now my body changed and I could only accept big and hard things, or I just can't endure it!"

"Don't fidget around while saying that! And you can't move after casting your spell, so that means you have an accomplice! Who in the world…"

Aqua averted her gaze next.

I stopped pinching Megumin's cheeks and grabbed Aqua next.

"It was you, wasn't it?!"

"Ow! Ow! I can't get any worthwhile quests because of him, so I wanted revenge! I was lectured by the store owner every day because of him!"

The Dullahan continued while I was berating my two companions.

"No! I'm not furious because of the explosion magic!"

The wind suddenly got stronger and carried with it a terrifying aura.

"Hear me, fools. My name is Beldia. Don't you all have the will to seek retribution for the death of your comrade? I might be this way now, but before I was executed because of unjust reasons and morphed into a monster, I was an honorable knight. Where I stand, that Crusader who was cursed while protecting her companions was the classic model of a knight, but you abandoned her! Allowing her to go to waste is simply—"

Just as he said that, Darkness who lagged behind because of her armor quietly made her way to my side.

The Dullahan locked eyes with Darkness, who was blushing because of the compliments.

"… G-gosh, err. A model knight?"

Darkness looked a bit guilty, timidly lifting a hand to scratch her cheek.

"What?!"

The Dullahan yelled out in response. I couldn't see his face behind his helmet, but he must have had a really shocked expression.

Aqua snorted.

"What's this? It's been a week since Darkness was cursed but she's still alive. He must be really shocked, right, right? That Dullahan must have thought that we would head to the castle to break the curse and was waiting for us in vain the whole week, huh? He didn't even know I easily broke the curse after he left, right? Puhehe! This is hilarious! Super~ hilarious!"

Aqua pointed her finger at the Dullahan and laughed nonstop.

I still couldn't see his face, but judging from the way his shoulders were shaking, he must be even angrier than he already was.

But since Aqua broke the curse, we had no reason to visit the dangerous castle.

"Y-you! If I get serious, I could massacre every inhabitant of this town! Don't think I'll keep letting you off! As an undead, I won't ever tire! You bunch of rookies won't be able to even scratch me!"

Aqua's taunt pushed the Dullahan's patience to his limit. This felt dangerous, but I did nothing to stop her.

Before the Dullahan could do anything else, Aqua extended her right hand and shouted:

"You're awfully cocky for an undead! I'm the one who has no reason to let you off! How arrogant for a mere undead to act in this manner!"

A bright, white light emerged from her outstretched hand.

"Hm? Do you think a beginner adventurer's magic can harm me?"

"Disappear! Turn Undead!"

Even after seeing the gentle light close in on the Dullahan, he didn't even flinch. As expected of a Demon King's General, he was confident.

"You think a Demon King's General wouldn't be prepared to fight priests? Too bad. Including me, all the undead knights in this band have received the protection of the Demon King. We have a very high resistance against holy spells— Ahhhhhh!"

After getting blasted by the magic, black smoke started emerging from the Dullahan.

The Dullahan that was so confident was smoking all over. He was shaking and couldn't even stand properly, but he still put on a strong facade.

"Hey, hey Kazuma! This is strange, it's not working!"

"No, it looked pretty effective to me. He went 'Ahh!' and all."

The Dullahan took unsteady steps.

"Hmph. I am Beldia, a Demon King's General, Dullahan Beldia! With this armor that was enchanted by the Demon King and my own powers, Turn Undead from a normal priest won't work on me!… It shouldn't work at all! Are you really a beginner?!"

As he spoke, the Dullahan shifted the head in his hand so it was slanting to one side. He was probably trying to tilt his head.

"… Nevermind. Because our diviner was raging on about a strong light descending near this town, I came here to investigate… In the beginning, I thought it was too much of a hassle and considered destroying the entire town…"

He trailed off and held his head with his left hand. With his empty right hand, he pointed towards us.

"Hmph, you're not worthy enough for me to do it in person. Go, my brothers! Let them taste a glimpse of hell!"

Now sending his minions to take us out? He was boasting about being able to do it himself just a few seconds ago.

"Ah! I bet he's scared because Aqua's spell was unexpectedly effective! He's planning to use his minions to attack us while he escapes by himself!"

"T-That, that's not it! This was my plan from the very beginning! A Demon King's General is not a weakling who escapes on his own! And why should the boss fight you first? Of course, you need to defeat the small fry, that's the tradition since ancient times—"

"Sacred Turn Undead!"

"Gaahh!"

Beldia was interrupted by Aqua's spell.

A white magic circle appeared at Beldia's feet and shot a light straight to the heavens.

Beldia's armor was fuming, and he rolled on the ground as if he was on fire

Aqua was in a panic.

"W-What should we do, Kazuma!? This is strange! My purification magic isn't affecting him at all!"

"No, that looked really effective."

"Damn, damn you…! Let someone who's talking finish! Enough! My brethren…!"

Even though black smog was coming from all over his body, Beldia stood up slowly and lifted his right hand…

"The people of this town… Slaughter them all!"

Part 3

That was definitely something.

I still feel like I'm missing a lot of context here. Given the jobs I've taken before, I guess I should be used to this by now.

From what I can make out, Kazuma and his party are the reason this headless guy is here. That explains why Luna called them out specifically.

That aside, the charging knights gave me a bad vibe. They're like that Blue Sicko's puppets. Worse, even.

"Wahhh! Priests! Get the priests here!"

"Someone go to the church for holy water, bring all that you can!"

As the adventurers shouted, the knights invaded the town.

The adventurers steeled themselves to intercept them. I decided against putting on the gloves for now. The knights shouldn't be an issue, but I need to hear more about Beldia.

Being able to summon an army like that, he might be an Urban Plague at minimum. But the fighting strength of the headless knight himself, I'm not sure yet.

The said knight was laughing loudly.

"Hahaha! Come, let me hear your screams… Of… Despair…?"

"Wah, wahhh–! Why are they all targeting me?! I'm a goddess! A goddess, so I always do good deeds! I've been a good girl everyday!"

Darkness then said something I'd rather not comment on.

"Ahhh! How, how unfair! I've been really good, so why are all the undead knights running over to Aqua…!"

Do they hate Aqua for attacking that Beldia guy? Maybe they're doing what we did in the Library and dumping all of their attacks on the strongest guy and dealing with the rest later.

"You, what are you all doing!? Don't just chase that priestess, cover this town with the blood of the residents…!"

Beldia shouted in panic when he saw the situation.

That's as good a time as any.

I took a breath and walked away from the mass of adventurers while Aqua led the puppet knights away.

"Hey, there. Beldia, yeah? I'm Roland, adventurer of my title's namesake, or whatever that was."

I announced as loudly as I could. Beldia slowly turned his body to face me. The adventurers were cheering me on.

"Yeah! That's our battle master, as strong as our ace in the hole!"

"Take him out, Sir Roland!"

Other such phrases came out of their mouths.

"Oh? Hahaha, you are brave to step forward!"

"Thanks. You see, I'm kind of confused about what's happening, but as far as I know, you're a kind of monster and I'm supposed to fight you. So, let's do that while nothing's here to distract us."

He paused at my statement. "I see. You were not brave, but rather a fool. I don't even see a weapon on you, yet you are no monk, are you? Are you even an adventurer?"

"Yeah. I just got my license two hours ago!"

He was silent for a long time before replying.

"So you are a fool and a beginner who thinks too highly of himself. Very well."

He tossed his head into the sky, looking downwards, and drew his greatsword.

As he did, I pulled out the gloves and put them on.

And then all was heard no more.

Not even the gust of the wind or the adventurers behind us.

I could see Kazuma running with Aqua. He was shouting something in my direction, but it was met with black silence.

"I will not deny a warrior their duel. Ready yourself, Warrior Roland."