Episode 44:
Family Reunions X2!
Ling-Ling and Lung-Lung Make their Move!
FEATURING THE VOICES OF:
VERONICA TAYLOR as Ranma/Ranko
JASON GRIFFITH as Kenma
RACHEL LILLIS as Akane
MIKE POLLOCK as Genma
DARREN DUNSTAN as Soun
TED LEWIS as Akimitsu
KAYZIE ROGERS as Cologne
EMILY BAUER JENNESS/EILEEN STEVENS as Shampoo
TARA JAYNE as Ling-Ling
ERICA SCHROEDER as Lung-Lung
Also starring:
KERRY WILLIAMS, KAREN NEIL, CARTER CATHCART, ERIC STUART, SCOTT RAYOW, SAM RIEGEL, MICHAEL HAIGNEY, WAYNE GRAYSON, MEGAN HOLLINGSHEAD, AND LEE QUICK
Following the events of last episode, Jinn and Kasumi are hard at work, cleaning up for the Shirogane family's big visit. Let's drop in and check on them, shall we?
Kasumi was directing the others from the kitchen; Genma and Soun were in charge of fixing the holes in the wall from the Dojo Destroyer's visit, Nabiki was in charge of keeping track of what needed to be repaired and/or replaced, and Akane and Atsuko had to sweep and/or scrub the floors, while Akimitsu was repairing the holes in the roof and re-boarding the attic with Tsubasa's help.
"Yeesh, we're in for a real busy day!" exclaimed Jinn as he discreetly used his magic to fix up some of the other stuff around the house. "...or rather, we would be if I wasn't prepared~"
"That Dojo Destroyer really did make a mess of things," Kasumi observed while wiping down the stove.
"Good thing you sent the boys out for a bit," commented Nodoka.
"I still don't understand why those two get to skip out on this!" Genma grumbled while he was laying down some bricks. "If anything, they ought to stay and help!"
"Knowing Ranma, he'd find some way to get into trouble," Nabiki mused. "And then we'd have an even BIGGER mess than we did at the start."
"I wouldn't blame Ranma for all of it…more like 25% of it," Atsuko explained. "Genma would've been 70% of it, leaving 5% from a random rival like Kuno or Ryoga to suddenly appear to start a fight."
"...still," shrugged Nabiki.
MEANWHILE, OUT WITH THE BOYS…
Ranko was coolly helping herself to a package of takoyaki that she'd managed to charm her way out of paying for. "I know I complain about it a lot, but once again, bein' a girl isn't too bad," she smirked as she popped one into her mouth.
"Hey, don't bogart all the good stuff," said Kenma. "I want in on that action, too!"
"Oh, sorry! Here ya go, Ken." the redheaded girl said as she handed her brother a toothpick.
"Wa-hoo!" Kenma exclaimed as he skewered one of the takoyaki balls and ate it.
But before Ranko could eat another, she found herself doused in hot water.
SPA-LASH!
"Hey! You tryin' to boil me or some—" he began, before he turned and saw Shampoo, holding a kettle. "...Shampoo?"
"Shampoo, why did you douse my brother in hot water without warning?" Kenma curiously asked his Amazon girlfriend.
"Trust me, it's for his own good." Shampoo justified herself. "See, earlier today…"
NOW ENTERING FLASHBACK ZONE.
I REPEAT, NOW ENTERING FLASHBACK ZONE!
Shampoo was taking a delivery ride through town on her bicycle, when she suddenly sensed a familiar ki...in fact, two of them.
Glancing to the sides, she saw two black blurs jumping over the rooftops.
As Shampoo continued bicycling, the two blurs began to take on humanoid shapes. Jumping her bike into the air, Shampoo leapt off it as it was sliced to pieces! Fortunately, the delivery basket she was carrying hadn't been harmed, nor were its contents.
Shooting at her from one end came a staff, which she grabbed. At the other end came a pitchfork, which she also grabbed.
"This is Japan, not the village..." she remarked. "So saying 'hello' like this is far from what you'd call 'polite'!"
She turned to her first attacker, a magenta-haired girl who was about half her size. "Ling-Ling."
Then she turned to the next one, a turquoise-haired girl who was as tall as her twin. "Lung-Lung."
The two twins raced over and gave Shampoo a hug. "Big sister Shampoo, Ling-Ling miss you!" said the magenta-headed one.
"Lung-Lung miss you more~!" exclaimed the turquoise-haired one.
Note to self, help improve their Japanese, Shampoo thought. "So, what brings you here?" she asked.
"First up, guess what we just learn!" Ling-Ling chirped. "Dance of Great Fire Dragon technique!"
"Very impressive," Shampoo complimented. "Even I never got that one right!"
"Now, we not afraid of nobody!" Lung-Lung beamed. "Especially not stupid Pink and Link!"
"Plus..." Ling-Ling began. "We were embarrassed that Ranma defeat Big Sister, so we come to see if you get retribution."
"...Ranma?" Shampoo asked, remembering what had happened two seasons ago.
"Of course, we know Big Sister get even and kill Ranma," Lung-Lung responded. "So, we train for many day and night...now, no one in village even hold candle to us!"
"Now we come here to Japan, looking for new challenge!" Ling-Ling added. "And maybe...catch us new husband!"
"Shampoo already beat Ranma in fight, yeah?" Lung-Lung asked.
The purple-haired girl gave a nervous chuckle.
"No be silly, Lung-Lung," chastised Ling-Ling. "Kill one what beat you in fight; that law of Joketsuzoku!"
"Oh, right! Sore-Loser Law!" Lung-Lung nodded. "So go ahead, tell us how you end her life!"
"I'd LOVE to, but I've got an important delivery!" Shampoo responded, holding up her carton. "I'll tell you later, okay?"
"Then we go find strong opponent to fight!" beamed Ling-Ling. "Lung-Lung?"
"We run-run!" Lung-Lung replied. "And see you later, sis! Tell dad we say hi!"
"Zaizen!" Ling-Ling responded as the twins turned and bounded off into the trees.
NOW EXITING FLASHBACK ZONE.
THE FLASHBACK IS NOW COMPLETE.
"And that's the whole story!" Shampoo concluded.
"...so you haven't told them about the whole Nannichuan thing?" asked Ranma.
"It…may have slipped my mind," Shampoo replied.
"Great, so Shampoo's sisters are coming to kill you," grumbled Kenma. "And we've already got relatives coming over, too!"
"The Joketsuzoku are a prideful race," said Shampoo. "If they know you're alive, then they'll have to kill you."
"I don't mean to toot my own horn, but that's easier said than done," Ranma boasted.
"Yeah, also the amount of people that are out to kill us are…quite an alarming amount for anyone to boast about," Kenma stated as he thought of several people that had sworn vengeance on the brothers. "But what exactly are we going to do about this?"
"I dunno, Ken! I mean, I can't beat up two little girls even if it is in self defense!" said Ranma, conflicted. "And on top of that, they're Shampoo's sisters!"
"Wait, wait, hold on…Shampoo said they don't know about your curse," said Kenma. "So that means they don't know about your guy side! We can use that to our advantage!"
"Hey, that's a good point!" beamed Ranma. "Then we won't have to fight 'em' head on!"
"Yup!" Kenma nodded. "We can apply good ol'-fashioned strategy!"
MEANWHILE, AT THE KENDO CLUB…
After they got hotdogs, the twins had gone over to this place in search of more capable warriors. Alas, instead they only found Kuno.
"What violence, I wonder, compels two women to challenge a dojo?" Kuno mused. "And two maidens, scarcely in the bloom of youth. For what reason must I, Tatewaki Kuno, damage these flowers?"
Behind him were several identical-looking, winged females. "You go, Kuno~!" they called gleefully, flashing fanged smiles.
"I must refuse!" Kuno exclaimed, his eyes wet with tears. "Why, even the mere thought of it BREAKS MY WARRIOR'S HEART!"
"You have off switch?" asked Ling-Ling.
"If not, we MAKE one!" shouted Lung-Lung.
"Very well, then," Kuno relented. "Perhaps you two DO need a lesson. And who better than I to teach it?" he grabbed his bokken. "Prepare thy selves."
"HAIII-YEEEE!" the twins bellowed as they charged at the wannabe samurai.
And at the last moment, Kuno pussed out. "NO! I CANNOT MAR SUCH BEAUTY BEFORE IT HAS HAD A CHANCE TO FLOURISH!" he screamed, as the twins shot past him.
A second later, his bokken crumbled, and two massive lumps appeared on his head as he collapsed.
"Well, he run mouth good enough, but he stink at running hands," remarked Lung-Lung.
"He big windbag," Ling-Ling remarked. "And that just too-too boring! I want to find Ranma and crush her!"
"Get 'em, men!" called one of the kendo club members.
As they rushed the two tiny girls, they looked up.
"This interesting enough for you?" Lung-Lung asked.
"We see for selves," Ling-Ling replied.
KLUNK!
WHAM!
BONK!
ZIP-ZIP-ZIIING!
"Karate Club!"
WHUNK!
K-CHUNK!
SKA-RUNGLE!
"Boxing Club!"
DING-DING!
SNAP! CRACKLE! P-POP!
"Sumo Club!"
SUBALUWA!
SPLAT! KLANG! C-C-CRUNCH!
"Tetherball!"
"Double Dutch!
"Tiddlywinks!"
Any way you slice it, they all ended the same way. Every member of every sports club was beaten senseless…apart from the Tiddlywinks club members. They just got their pieces flicked into their eyes, which could arguably be considered worse.
"Pitiful," scoffed Ling-Ling in her native Chinese. "The men here are even bigger wimps than the ones back home!"
"If this is the best Japan has to offer," said Lung-Lung, also in Chinese. "Then this Ranma will be NOTHING."
"By the way, take a look at what I found," Ling-Ling said, holding up a Wonder Woman comic book. "Americans have a strange idea of Amazons."
Lung-Lung took a look at the comic and leafed through. "Maybe…but I do like the outfit."
"I agree." her sister nodded along. "But we still have more important things to take care of, Lung-Lung."
"Right! We still need to find Ranma Saotome!" Lung-Lung responded. "And CRUSH her!"
A little while later, the boys headed back home, to see that a caravan had been parked outside.
"Looks like we've got company, then," Kenma commented as they opened the gate doors.
"I just hope it's good company for once," said Ranma as he headed to the front door.
"Oh! That must be them now!" Nodoka's voice was overheard from inside.
As the boys made their way inside, they suddenly found themselves staring at three middle-aged men.
One was skinny as a rail.
The second had a round stomach.
The third was short and stout.
All three of them had dark hair, snazzy suits, pencil-thin mustaches, and neckties.
"Alright…which one'a you is Ranma, and which a'you is Kenma?" asked the round one.
"I'm Ranma," said the black-haired boy.
"And I'm Kenma," replied the auburn-haired one.
"Who wants to know?" they both asked.
"In that case, that'd make us…your uncles!" exclaimed the skinny one. "Name's Sota Shirogane!"
"I'm Daiki," the round-bellied one replied, adjusting his glasses.
"And by process of elimination, I'm Kenzo," the short one finished. "Now, when we heard our baby sis had kids, we were pret-ty surprised!"
"I mean, she actually GOT something outta that good-fer-nothin' husband of hers?" Sota exclaimed. "We all thought it was impossible, until we were given concrete proof!"
"Hey, I was just as shocked as you were," Atsuko replied. "We all thought, 'Sis, what are you DOING with this guy? I mean, he's clearly using you for money and food! You're nothing but a meal ticket to him!' …and then he knocked you up."
"Anyways!" Soun spoke up, poking his head in and hoping to change the subject. "I don't suppose you must be hungry after your long trip, is that right?"
"You know what?...I could eat," replied Kenzo. "Plus, the boys can meet their grandparents. I'd consider that a double-win."
"Well, it's a good thing you all have a healthy appetite because I whipped up one heck of a feast!" said Kasumi from the kitchen.
All three brothers looked at each other. "RACE YA THERE!" they exclaimed, before they ran up the stairs to go wash their hands.
Atsuko rolled her eyes with a smirk. "How is it that they're the older ones again?" she asked herself.
"Easy, by a few years." Nodoka replied.
The boys and the rest of the family made their way to the table, where an elderly couple was seated at the head.
The old man tilted his glasses and looked down the length of the table. "So…these must be our grandsons, yeah?" he asked.
One by one, all three uncles zipped into seats next to each other. "You bet, Dad!" they chorused.
"Oh, and they're such strapping young lads, too," the elderly woman said.
"Awww! You're just saying that!" Ranma said with a noticeable blush.
"No need to be so modest, Sonny!" the old man reassured Ranma. "Ya got the Shirogane genes in ya!"
"But we're getting ahead of ourselves. We should introduce ourselves properly." the old woman said.
"I'm your Grandpa Takeshi, and this is your Grandma Hiromi." The older man explained.
"Pleased to meet ya!" said Kenma. "I'm Kenma, and this is Ranma."
"Hey there!" his brother greeted.
"It's great to finally meet ya!" said Takeshi. "It's nice to see that even if Genma's a rotten apple, the seeds didn't bear bitter fruit."
"W-well…thank you!" Kenma laughed, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. "Coming from you, sir, that means the world!"
"Please! Don't be so formal," the old man insisted. "Just call me Grandpa, alright?"
"Well…okay…Grandpa," Kenma replied, before he felt a slight jolt shoot through his body.
What was that? Is this what it's like having a familial connection with an older relative?...I like it!
Ranma was at a loss for words. "I…I have so many questions! I don't know what to ask first!" he blurted.
"Let's go for something simple," commented Kenma, awakening from his trance. "Like, how'd you get into the family business?"
"Well, it's kind of a long story," Sota explained. "But hey, we've got plenty of time."
But before he could begin, the doorbell rang.
"I'll get it!" Kasumi said as she got up and left the table.
"I wonder who could be at the door at this time?" asked Nodoka.
"Oh, look who's come to join us for dinner!" Kasumi said as she returned, with Ling-Ling, Lung-Lung, and Shampoo in tow.
The purple-haired girl smiled widely, before gesturing to Ranma and Kenma.
"Are these them?" Kenma mouthed.
Shampoo nodded quickly.
...shit, they're kids? Kenma thought. Dude, we can't beat up kids!
Why the hell didn't she tell us they were kids?! Ranma thought loudly. They are kids, right? Not short adults?
"Are they kids?" Ranma mouthed.
Shampoo nodded. "I did say younger sisters…"
FUUUUUUCK! Ranma thought loudly.
"We looking for Ranma and Kenma Saotome," Ling-Ling stated.
"Anyone see them pass through?" Lung-Lung asked.
"That'd be them," said Sota, pointing to the boys, which made their blood run cold. "...whaddo you want with our nephews?"
Ling-Ling and Lung-Lung glanced over, and Ranma was internally freaking out…while Kenma had shapeshifted a mustache onto his face.
"That not the Ranma we looking for," said Ling-Ling. "Our Ranma is girl with red hair."
Ranma gave a sigh of relief, wiping his head.
"But since we're here, we should join them for dinner!" Shampoo said. "Besides, it would be rude not to accept!"
The twins looked at each other and relented. "Fine," they chorused.
"It against village customs to deny invitation to dinner table," grumbled Lung-Lung as they both left to wash their hands.
"That was close!" Ranma whispered to Kenma.
"Waaay too close," said Kenma with a nod. "We have to make it through dinner before we settle this."
"Yep! All we need to do is just keep to ourselves and eat our food," agreed Ranma.
"Indeed…oh, crapbaskets," Kenma agreed before realizing something they forgot about. "Where's Ranko?"
Upstairs, maybe? Ranma thought. …and probably getting hungry. We'd better eat fast and get them outside quick.
Maybe they'll get bored by the story and fall asleep? Kenma thought.
A HALF HOUR LATER…
Sota was still talking, and neither of the twins had even done so much as yawn or rub their eyes. They simply continued chewing and swallowing their food, all while keeping a close eye on the boys.
Then again, maybe not, Kenma thought as he finished his plate. "Oh, hey, I'm done, may I be excused?" he said, going to the kitchen to put his dish in the sink.
"...well, that was curious," said Kasumi. "I wonder what got into him?"
"Who knows?" Genma shrugged as he sat down. "Besides, it's about time I got something in me! I've been wasting away!"
"Mmmm! That was great, Kasumi!" Ranma said as he quickly headed into the kitchen.
Ling-Ling and Lung-Lung both squinted, curious as they stuck their spoons into the mashed potatoes.
"Hey! I wanted those!" Genma protested.
The twins both turned to him, staring daggers at him. "No dibs, no potatoes," they hissed.
Genma immediately shut up and backed off.
"Heeey!" called a voice from outside, knocking on the window, prompting the twins to look over.
Outside was Ranko, waving to them. Then she stuck out her tongue, wiggled her fingers, and pressed her butt against the glass to moon them.
"It's her!" the twins both shouted as they sprang to their feet. "Please excuse us."
And then they quickly left the room, as Shampoo watched them go.
Oh, no…this is terrible! Shampoo thought, her face slicked with sweat.
"Can't catch me!" Ranko bellowed as the younger girls followed her.
"Come back and face punishment like woman!" Lung-Lung shouted.
"Shows how much you know!" the redheaded girl shouted back, cartwheeling into the trees.
As the twins kept on running, they suddenly saw Ranko sprinting out from behind the tree and darting away like a gazelle.
"What? You two forgot your running shoes?" Ranko taunted while sticking out her tongue.
"This is starting to aggravate me," grumbled Ling-Ling in Chinese.
"Same here," remarked Lung-Lung. "It is time for the special technique!"
The twins nodded, before they got into a defensive stance.
"Behold, ancient Chinese technique span 3,000 year Amazon history, no-holds-barred last-ditch attack!" Ling-Ling exclaimed.
"Dance of Great Fire Dragon!" declared Lung-Lung. "It too late to beg for mercy, now you die!"
Suddenly, the twins glowed bright cyan, much to Ranko's awe.
Out of nowhere, a massive dragon emerged behind them, making her eyes bug out. "HOLY SHIT, YOU SUMMONED SHENLONG?!" she screamed in Kenma's voice. "BUT HOW?! HOW DID YOU GET THE DRAGON BALLS?!"
"Foolish girl! This not eternal dragon!" said Ling-Ling.
"This far worse!" Lung-Lung added.
Kenma put his hands up as a massive aura shone forth, engulfing him…
SOME TIME LATER…
Shampoo came racing into the woods with her chui, worried sick.
I pray to my ancestors that I'm fast enough, she thought. If they've already killed Ranma or Kenma…I'll never forgive myself, OR them!
But when she came into the woods, she saw a very…unexpected sight.
The twins were running around with a giant animatronic dragon (like one you'd see in a Chinese New Year festival), while music played and Ranma and Kenma were forced to dance around the area.
"Ranma! Kenma!" Shampoo exclaimed.
"Shampoo! You gotta snap us outta this!" Ranma cried as he continued to dance.
"No kidding!" Kenma exclaimed. "I think they're gonna make us Charleston right into firing range!"
Ling-Ling chuckled. "No forget to smile!" she called, and Kenma found himself spinning, pirouetting, and pulling a cheesy smile before he nearly got fried to a crisp by the dragon's flame breath blasts.
"YEEEOOOW!" Kenma screamed, and yet he couldn't even put the fire out since he was forced to keep on dancing. "Bon-parapara! Bon-parapara~!"
"Ling-Ling, Lung-Lung, stop this at once!" Shampoo shouted.
"No chance, big sister!" the twins responded.
"After all, Ranma defeat you, and now she must pay!" Lung-Lung insisted.
"That Amazon rule!" Ling-Ling added. "Or maybe you been away from home too long!"
"I know what it says about being defeated by a girl!" Shampoo shouted. "But what if you get beaten by a guy who's turned into a girl?"
At that, the twins skidded to a halt and glanced at each other. Then, they huddled up and whispered in Chinese, shooting glances at the others for a few minutes.
Finally, they got up and turned around.
"...okay, there not a rule about that, apart from 'still counts as a guy'," responded Ling-Ling. "But why you ask? There two girls here!"
"Is that so?" Shampoo asked, hands on her ears as she danced involuntarily. "Ranma, Kenma, time to show them!"
Quickly, she pulled out the teakettle and emptied it over their heads; playing along, the boys both changed back to their male forms.
Ling-Ling and Lung-Lung were bewildered, to say the least.
"...Jusenkyo?" they asked.
Shampoo nodded.
"Yep! It's kind of a long story." Ranma stated.
"A really long story," Kenma nodded.
SEVERAL MINUTES LATER, BECAUSE IF YOU WANT TO SEE HOW IT WENT DOWN, JUST GO BACK AND READ THE PREVIOUS CHAPTERS…
"...and that's how it happened!" finished Kenma.
"Wow! Your father have brains of cabbage." said Ling-Ling.
"No! That insult to cabbage. Cabbage is far smarter," Lung-Lung corrected.
"Got it," nodded Ling-Ling.
"So, now that you know we're both guys, you can stop causing all this havoc," said Ranma.
"I guess so." Ling-Ling said as she holstered her weapons.
"I suppose we losers by forfeit," Lung-Lung added. "Which means…we now your fiancees!"
Kenma quickly put his hands up. "Hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa!" he exclaimed, trying to stop this before things got worse. "I mean, you're a little young for us, aren't ya? I mean, we're teenagers and you're still kids! What would others think if they were to hear such…things?!"
"Yeah, what he said!" Ranma agreed.
"Besides, I'm already Kenma's fiancee!" Shampoo interjected.
"Maybe, but good sister always share!" Ling-Ling exclaimed.
"No no no, Ling-Ling! Sharing a man is different!" Shampoo blushed.
"Yeah!" replied Ranma. "So in the meantime…we can compromise, okay?"
"Ok then! You our big brothers, now." Ling-Ling decided.
"Big brother Ranma, big brother Kenma, and girl side is big sister Ranko." Lung-Lung stated rather excitedly.
Kenma sighed in relief. "Crisis…averted," he said, before hugging the twins. "Plus now we have the cutest widdle sisters~!"
"Man! All that dancing sure did work up an appetite!" said Ranma. "Let's head back inside for another bite to eat."
"Sounds good to me!" Kenma said, scooping up his new 'little sisters'. "I'm down for another plateful of mashed potatoes!"
"I'll go, too! I've been waiting to meet the rest of your family." Shampoo said while clinging to Ken's waist.
"Yay! We love Mashed Potatoes!" the twins cheered in unison.
And so they all laughed as they headed back home.
On that note, we…IRIS-OUT!
COMING UP ON OUR NEXT EPISODE, WE GO BACK A LITTLE WHILE—NAMELY, BEFORE MOVIE 2!
Jeez, and you thought dealing with Ryoga and Mousse was bad enough when they were separate…now, the worst has come to pass: they're joining forces!
ONE determined idiot is enough for the Saotome Brothers, but TWO? This could actually be a problem. How will our boys get outta THIS little kerfuffle?
Next time on "Ranma 1/2: Mark of the Demon Cat"...
The Ryoga/Mousse Alliance!
The Blind, Leading the Blind
We'll see you there!
TEYANDEE!
…plus, in case you haven't heard, Ranma is getting a new adaptation of his series. So to celebrate, expect to see a wholly-original deleted scene we had conceived for "The Strange Stranger from China", but it was cut for time and left to languish within our brains…until RECENTLY, that is!
Stay tuned for a Ranma double-header, next time, including an all-new extended cut of The Strange Stranger From China, our pilot episode!