Disclaimer: Transformers (Generation 1) and everything related belongs to the rightful company Hasbro. I am in no way shape or form making money off this.
Author's Notes: When Bumblebee has a bad day, he goes for a drive and tries not to let it get to him. But sometimes the bad days just don't like to let go. Good thing his lover knows how to take care of him and his needs.
Title: Time Out
Pairing: SoundwavexBumblebee (G1)
Requested: Jolene (AO3)
It was a calm, clear day with the sun shining bright in the cloudless skies. There was nothing for miles around, sparse desert as far as the eye could see. For a long canary yellow Volkswagen beetle, it was the perfect place to let go. Even with no roads the terrain was smooth enough for the small vehicle to drive as fast and as far as he wanted. But although the weather was perfect, the driver of said vehicle was anything but please.
That is, if there was an actual driver in said vehicle.
The beetle kept driving for several more miles, engine revving with more horsepower that was expected, moving at speeds much greater than it was intended to when the brakes suddenly locked and it screeched to a stop. Kicking up no small amount of dirt and gravel, causing a small dust storm to form and surround the car. Unable to be seen the revving of the engine was still heard, but it barely covered the mechanical sounds of gears turning, something unfolding in a way that seemed very unnatural to anyone who heard it. The dust cloud eventually settled but in the car's place was a mechanical being standing approximately fifteen feet tall, with plating that same shade of yellow as the vehicle from before. The rumbling of his engine was still going strong as it slowly moved to the edge of the cliff, staring down but not really seeing; his fists were shaking slightly, in fact his entire body seemed to be trembling as though he was trying to suppress something. the rumbling of his engine kept growing louder and louder, but slowly, it began to calm down, the roaring softening to a rumble, then idling to the point where it could barely be heard. The shaking stopped and fists slowly unclenched, and shoulders dropped as the tension left the body. With the head slightly bowed, there was a small shadow hiding the eyes from view but there was a look of dejection on the face, A look that that spoke of endless frustration and the exhaustion of having to deal with it. A look of just wanting to give up and deal with whatever may come of it.
"Why do I even bother," the scout muttered to himself. Venting deeply, he allowed his peds to take him down a slightly narrow path that led down to the base of the cliff. Sure, he could have driven, but his alt-mode was not ideal for the rough terrain and as upset as he was, damaging something that could have been avoided was never the best way to get on Ratchet's bad side. And he did want to so much as look at another bot right now. Especially an Autobot.
"Why do I fragging bother," he hissed, jumping off the trail he landed in a crouch, feeling his plating tightening once more as his emotions began to take hold. "Do they think it's easy to be optimistic all the time? It's just the way I am, but now everybot thinks it makes me more of a target!" Even though he had his blaster in his subspace he didn't want to waste the energy displacing it, although his digits itched to do so. "I've fought the same battles they have! Primus—I've gone on way more dangerous missions than most of them! I'm part of Special Ops, for frag's sake! So, who are they to tell me I'm weak?!" Turning on the spot, Bumblebee drew his fist back and punched a hole into the side of the rocky wall. He was venting deeply, lips plates pulled back into a sneer, ignoring the dirt as he slowly pulled his fist from the hole. Some minor scratches, a small dent or two but nothing to concern the medic with. He turned his attention back to the hole and just stared at it.
The hole was the same diameter of his servo, but he had punched so hard, nearly a third of his stabilizer went in. The rock was also heavily dense, his strike making an almost perfect little cave. Sometimes he forgot how strong he was, but instead of feeling validated he was conflicted. "Why do they have to be glitches," he muttered, watching his fist unclench.
He had seen the beetle as it had been driving and silently followed. He watched as he stopped and continued down until he reached the bottom, far from curious optics. He had heard him his explosive rants and witness the strength the small frame contained but it was rarely seen in battle. He moved silently for a mech of his size, stopping behind the other mech he reached out and wrapped his servos around him from behind. There was a jolt, a brief struggle, but it quickly stopped and the small mech allowed him to be embraced. He could feel the frame slowly begin to untense, felt plating relax and allowed his EM field to reach out to the other; he didn't realize his systems were emitting a low frequency he used when his cassettes were agitated, to calm them down but before he could stop smaller servos came up and held onto him tightly. A wordlessly plea not to stop. So he didn't.
Bumblebee let his optics offline even as he continued to clutch at the servos holding onto him. He should have heard him, should have sensed him but it just showed how much he was lost in his own problems that he was oblivious to everything. It was a good thing he could trust the mech holding him. Nothing was said, even as he shifted, causing the servos around him begin to pull away but he turned and wrapped his own servos around the other mech, pressing his faceplates into the mech's chassis, holding him as tightly as he could. "Just, don't say anything. Not right now," he said quietly, holding the mech even tighter. "Please."
The Decepticon didn't say anything, looking down at the small, yellow horns. Even with his visor he could see his plating clamped tightly down, could feel his digits clinging tightly to himself, and felt the rush of negative emotions in his EM field.
Sadness. Frustration. Anger. Weariness. Loneliness… Fear…?
No, he did not accept that. But… Bumblebee didn't want him to say anything. Slowly, royal blue servos came up, sliding over yellow and black plating, then tightened around him, embracing him as tightly as he could. He allowed his EM field to reach out, pausing when the other "flinched" but he projected calm/peace/affection. He waited, his systems unknowingly letting out a frequency that he used to calm his symbiotes and even the other Decepticons. It seemed to work as the Autobot's EM field melded with his, soothing and comforting him.
The Special Ops spy continued to let himself be embraced, trusting in the other mech, and letting all his frustrations drain away, the silent frequency soothing his fraying sensors, the EM field wrapping around him, protecting him from everything outside their embrace. Bee could feel his systems slowing down, only the most necessary of programs running as others slipped into sleep mode; even their venting was in perfect sync. Bumblebee smiled, onlining his optics slowly as he felt a gentle brush against his processor.
"Didn't realize how much I needed this," he said softly, nuzzling the chassis his smile grew and his engine purred as a servo stroked his helm, brushing a digit against one of his sensory horns. Pulling back but not releasing the other bot, Bee looked up at the one who managed to calm him down. "Thanks Soundwave. But how'd you know I'd be here?"
"Query: unaware," came the smooth monotone, a deep tone that if one listened carefully enough, could distinguish the differences of wavelengths that conveyed the speaker's true emotions. "Explanation: arriving when noticed Autobot scout driving at high speed. Followed and witness expressions of great frustration." He paused, frowning behind his visor. "Query: reason of frustration?" There was a flinch in the EM field and the scout said nothing but he did lower his optics. The pain was still raw and he knew if he pushed it would not give his lover closure. Saying nothing, Soundwave pulled him close to his chassis, telling him to hold on as he activated his anti-gravity thrusters. His thrusters could take him so high and so far, but it was enough that when they landed a distance from where the beetle had stopped, where there was nothing for miles and no sign of organics or transformers. Upon landing, he led them into a cave where they moved to the back and the TIC sat, gently squeezing the servo still in his grip. "Query: sit with me, please?" he asked quietly.
Bumblebee said nothing, still refusing to look at him but he did settle himself on his lover's lap and once more clung to him as tightly as he could. Those same blue servos wordlessly wrapped around him tightly as well, engines idling, though as the Autobot rested his helm on the other mech's chassis, he could hear him spark. He smiled when he realized his spark was humming at the same frequency. It made him relax even more. Without moving, the spy scanned the area. Comparing it with his files, he now knew why this place seemed so familiar.
"This is where it all started," he said softly. "Remember, Soundwave?"
"Affirmative." Primus, that day in question had been like any other, Megatron leading a raid in order to gain some much needed energon, Optimus Prime leading the Autobots to stop them. He had ordered his symbiotes to keep an optic on the energon cubes they had managed to fill, but Rumble and Frenzy were overly eager to join the battle, Laserbeak and Buzzsaw were trying to provide aerial cover, leaving only Ravage to obey his orders. He knew a retreat would be called any moment, but then he "felt" Ravage's anger. He had turned to see that the one known as Mirage, had used his outliner ability to sneak past him to get to their cubes. But his invisibility could do nothing to hide his scent which was how ravage had found him. But he had not been alone; Bumblebee was in the back where the cubes had been stored, setting up a charge to destroy them. Even now he wasn't sure what happened, but the charge had gone off and it trapped both mechs within the cave. The problem was, both had been near the cubes when the charge had gone off, and energon was highly combustible so the two of them were badly damaged. His processor, even now, could only access clips of video but he remembered seeing the Autobot scout tending to both their injuries with limited supplies. He also remembered him talking, but Soundwave had never said a word. Eventually his symbiotes had come to his aid, clearly the cave in but he had ordered them not to harm the Autobot. Of course, they demanded to know why he had let the bug live, but he refused to say. That should have been that, but something had compelled him to come back here cycles alter only to find the same Autobot there. Waiting for him. His blastmask slid back with a klik, revealing a small smile on his normally hidden lips. "You are determined."
"That's what they all say." Among other things. Bumblebee vented deeply, not wanting to talk about what led him to punch a hole in the canyon wall, and he knew his lover wanted to know. "You asked me what got me frustrated earlier.
"Yes. But you were not to speak of it."
"Maybe if I get it off my chassis I'll feel better." The scout vented once more and sat up but didn't pull away completely, optics staring at the insignia of his enemy but not really looking at it. "It was nothing at first, just some bots blowing off steam after foiling Megatron's raid-" At this he paused and tilted his helm back to look at the Decepticon. "That the reason you're out here, too?"
"Will explain after. Please, continue."
"Holding you to it. Well, like I was saying, after foiling Megatron's raid the Autobots got to talking about the fighting and Huffer being his downer self said this war was never gonna end. Well, everybot started talking and it kinda looked like a fight was gonna break out and I… I guess, I said something that upset a lot of bots." Just thinking about it made him silently fume but once more the calming frequency came back. Bee couldn't help but shudder as servos caressing his sides, digits tracing sensitive seams, the knot of anxiety loosening in his tank. He didn't want to continue, didn't want to relive what everybot said but he knew Soundwave did. Shaking his helm, he leaned up and kissed him, hoping to distract him.
Whatever was said really affected his little scout, and he hated seeing him upset. But Soundwave also knew that he needed to let it out or it would slowly destroy him. He made to pull back but as though reading his own processor, Bumblebee cupped his helm in his matte black servos and kissed him deeper, derma parting and glossias sliding against one another. Royal blue servos clutched at the yellow frame, moaning as nimble digits dug into his seams to stroke hidden wires and cables. His HUD registered their rising temperatures, vents beginning to rumble as a charge ignited their systems. But instead of giving into the base coding, Soundwave gently pushed Bumblebee back, taking note of the slight blush on his faceplates and how his servos still clutched at him.
Okay, that was not what he expecting and it actually hurt a bit. "S-Soundwave, wha-"
"Tell me what they said." Without his mask his vocalizer was deeper, but it made it more difficult to control the frequencies he emitted when speaking. It was one of the reasons he always wore his blastmask even in the privacy of his own quarters. The minibot shuddered his optics and looked to the side, debating but he gently gripped his chin, tracing his thumb over a slightly kiss-swollen lip. "Please… and I will tell you why I came here."
Bumblebee shuddered, moaning lowly at the vibrations. "Cheater," he pouted, holding the servo but he smirked as he curled his glossia around the digit. The TIC shuddered in obvious arousal but made no more to continue his ministrations so he released it with a soft sigh. "I said, if the Decepticons were as tired of fighting as we were, maybe they might agree to a ceasefire and we'd be closer to ending the war once and for all." He tried hard not to flinch at the surprise in the other's EM field and sat back, shrinking in on himself. "Some of them thought I was joking, but I said I wasn't. I thought some of them would agree but… they were saying stuff that with Megatron around the war will never stop. And that I must have some processor damage for even thinking like that. Somebot said that I need to stop acting like a sparkling and grow up, that it's a Primus blessed miracle I'm still active. I lost track of who said what, but everybot had something negative to say that I couldn't take it anymore so I left." He looked at where his servo was still resting against the docking bay of Soundwave's chassis, staring at the violet insignia he had only ever known as an enemy beneath his digits but a royal-blue servo covered the servo and he looked up at his secret lover. "Soundwave?" he asked softly as the servo cupped the side of his faceplates, pulling him close enough that he could just barely make out his optics behind the crimson visor.
"They are fools. You said what they all wish but are too weak to say aloud. You are braver than most, strong enough to defend those you care for, but gentle when the need arises. I, wish for the fighting to stop but it will not." It would be so easy to just leave this all behind, but he knew Bumblebee would never leave his family behind, nor would he join the Decepticons. And he would never risk him to that. He hated dragging his symbiotes into it, but they all had their reasons to fight. Venting softly, he leaned forward and allowed their forehelms to touch. "Even as a soldier, you still have your innocence. Promise me you will never lose it."
"I promise." Primus, could he love this mech any more than he did right now? They continued sitting there even for a few kliks, losing themselves in one another's EM fields but Bee leaned back, holding Soundwave's servos in his own. "You don't have to tell me what happened, I can already guess Megatron was not happy about the failed raid."
"Megatron… difficult to reason with. Expectations… high." That was putting it mildly. Between the arguing, yelling, threats, please for mercy, it was too much and with their energon on short supply it was no wonder most of the Decepticon forces chose not to reside on the Nemesis. Especially the more volatile soldiers. He had to leave, and there had been no one to stop him. "He will strike once more. But-"
"I know. But, right now I don't want to talk about the war. I want to enjoy what time we have together." Smiling, their lips meet in another kiss, gliding against one another, glossias sliding together, servos caressing one another's plating. How they wished they had more time together, to do everything their sparks craved for, but they couldn't—wouldn't risk one another for this.
Bee moaned, clutching at whatever he could as he was touched, digits once more stroking at seams, the frequencies increasing and changing tempo. Now it felt like his frame was on fire, his interfacing protocols onlining faster than he could process. Sitting up on his knees he still had to lean up to face his lover, but with the way Soundwave worshipped his frame he didn't feel like he was small, or weak, or like a dumb sparkling. He let out a soft cry that melted into a whimpering moan as digits that had been stroking his aft slid over the curve and traced the seams of his panel, causing it to slide open.
Brought together and torn apart by war, the two mechs savored the little time they had together as they relearned one another's frames, reaffirming the love they held for each other. But with so much emotion happening the Decepticon momentarily forgot about his telepathic abilities and issued a command to his Autobot lover. It wasn't until afterwards did the smaller mech ask something they had never spoken about before.
"I know we never said anything, but I really want a sparkling with you. But, we can't right now… right?" came the small, hesitant question.
He had come so close to forcing him to reveal his spark, and while there was no guarantee that Bee could be sparked on the first try, he knew it wasn't impossible either. But he knew they had the same fears and they also knew that was the danger that one of those could be eliminated in the next raid. Without looking away, he lifted one of his servos and pressed a kiss to the palm, holding it firmly.
"I would not say no to having a sparkling with you, with having you as my spark mate, but not with this war." Pressing another kiss to the servo, he held it firmly to his chassis, right over the insignia of his fraction emblazed. "I will not risk you, or the possibility of a future together."
"Soundwave…" It was taking everything Bee had not to start crying but with his other servo he pulled his larger lover down and kissed him. Their EM fields twisted and twined together, nearly melding into one as they pushed love/joy/hope to one another. Eventually, the two mechs pulled away and took the time to clean up but they didn't want to part from each other just yet. Bumblebee almost didn't want to go back, to pretend that everybot's words didn't hurt and that he wasn't some naïve mechling. He shuddered his optics as a warm servo took a hold of his chin and tilted it up only to be kissed softly.
"Remember what I said: you are a brave, strong, fearless soldier with innocent optics and a pure spark." Soundwave smiled and pressed a kiss to his forehelm. "You are the mech I love."
"Now you really gonna make me cry," but his spark pulsed happily at that. Standing in the embrace for a few more kliks, Bee was the one to pull away but he leaned up and kissed his lover just before his mask slid into view. "Be careful, and be safe."
"Always." The Decepticon watched as his lover transformed and drove off, his spark already calling to the one he hoped would one day be his spark mate.
Author's Notes: Look, look! (points excited) Another chapter! I am not sure how to feel about this, but I hope you guys still enjoy it. Also, this goes out to Jolene Who wanted a Soundwave and Bee but set in the original cartoon verse.
Oof! Sorry for the wait everyone, but you have all been so understanding and patient so thank you thank you thank you! Again, no more new requests please! Lemme catch up a little bit more and I promise I will tell you when I am ready. ^^ I hope you liked it and I hope I can bring my A game in time for the next chapter. (mumble under breathe) Why do I seem to do angst better than fluff?