WHEN DIESELS GO MISSING

Original lyrics to "In the Land of the Pig, The Butcher is King" by Jim Steinman

A few days had passed since Barbara and Henry Regaby had left for Scotland Yard. Things had been rather uneventful on Sodor during that time, but early that morning, as Henry the green engine pulled into Vicarstown station, he spotted a group of unfamiliar steam engines heading his way.

"Hmm?" he blinked in surprise. "Did Annabelle or the Earl organize a railway gala?" But as he glanced back, he saw nothing. "Was I seeing things?"

"Seeing what?" asked Murdoch, coming alongside with a goods train.

"Oh, Murdoch! Have you seen a group of unfamiliar engines passing by?"

"Ah thought Ah did," Murdoch admitted, "but then they were gone as soon as they showed up!"

"It's very strange," said Henry. "I suggest we keep our eyes open for suspicious activity."

"Aye, just what Ah was thinkin'," said Murdoch. "Ah'm sensing that things will nae be normal on Sodor fer a while."

And unfortunately, Henry and Murdoch's fears were proven to be correct…

"…good morning, BoCo, morning Phillip," yawned Edward. To the blue engine's surprise, he got no response from either of them. "BoCo? Philip?!" he cried. Glancing from left to right, he realized that both of the side berths were empty. He took a few deep breaths. "Okay, maybe they just woke up early to get their jobs done. Diesels don't have boilers to heat up over a period of time."

But as Edward looked up and down the branch line, he couldn't find either his boyfriend or his son figure.

"Where could they have gone?" he wondered. "Surely they would have let me know where they were going before leaving."

Thinking of no other explanation, Edward rushed to Knapford.

"…and that, Rebecca, is how Henry and I got to Sodor," said Gordon.

"Wow," giggled Rebecca. "I can't believe Barbara Regaby mistook Henry for you. But you're right; blue really is your color, Big G."

Gordon blushed and was about to say something else, when Edward bustled in.

"Gordon, Rebecca!" he cried. "Have you two seen BoCo and Philip?!"

"I'm afraid I haven't," said Rebecca. "I thought BoCo was taking a train down your branch line."

"Wait a minute," gasped Gordon. "BoCo usually takes his morning train up here. But I haven't seen him do that."

"BoCo isn't the type to just skip trains like this," Edward said firmly. "There's only one thing for it – alert everyone there's a code red indignation meeting at Tidmouth sheds." And he raced off without another word.

"Oh dear, I do hope they're alright," worried Rebecca.

Everyone quickly met up at Tidmouth sheds; Edward took his place on the turntable, whistling for silence.

"Everyone," he said gravely, "when I woke up this morning, both BoCo and Philip had gone missing."

"They're not the only ones," gasped Toby. "Has anyone seen Mavis and Scarlett?! I thought they took some trucks down to Ffarqhuar, but they were completely gone."

"Daisy's vanished as well," added Ryan. "And I was sleeping right next to her!"

"Wait, it's only the diesels going missing?" asked Scruff. "Don't tell me – Diesel got them to play disappearing diesels again."

"What?!" cried Diesel, offended. "I haven't done anything like that for the past two years!"

"And maybe Scarlett and Philip are naive enough to fall for it," added Barry. "But Daisy, Mavis and BoCo?!"

"Most definitely not," agreed Stanley.

"Murdoch and I saw some mysterious steam engines coming through Vicarstown that morning," said Henry. "And this is just after the Regabys have gone to Scotland Yard and the Hatts go on their holiday."

"Oh no…" groaned Oliver. "This feels deja-vu-ish."

"Bit it cannae be Jacob Hockings or Diesel 10 this time," said Donald. "Th' former is deid."

"And the latter is… well, a diesel," said Henry. "Hmm… I can't even begin to guess who would be leading this group."

"I suggest we all keep a close eye out," said Percy. "Whoever's kidnapped our friends is going to pay!"

"And who's to say it won't happen again?" asked Duck. "Five of our friends have already gone missing. We need to tighten security."

"How do you propose we do that?" asked Arthur.

"This won't make everyone happy, but all diesels and electrics must remain in sight of a steam engine at all times."

"WHAT?!" most of the engines cried out.

"This is an outrage!" snapped Dennis. "Are you insisting we can't take care of ourselves?!"

"No," said Duck. "I'm just saying that it's for safety reasons."

"Duck has a point there, Dennis," said Diesel. "Any one of us could be next!"

"You're taking 'is side?!" gasped Arry.

"Do you want to end up where the other diesels went?!" Diesel retorted. "Or alternatively, I could ask Annabelle if you could be shunted until her parents and uncle get back."

Arry and Bert gulped. "Alroite, alroite, ya made yer point!" snapped Bert.

"We will need to talk with Annabelle about this arrangement," said Molly. "It will slow down our work for a while."

I'm afraid to say that Molly was right, but it was for the best. One of the shuffled arrangements was having Paxton down at Kirk Ronan harbor while Julie did his work at the Blue Mountain Quarry.

"It's nice to get out and stretch my wheels every now and again," she was saying to Peter Sam. "I just wish it wasn't under this circumstance."

"I know," shuddered Peter Sam. "I hope that the other engines are alright."

"W-what other engines?" stammered a voice.

"Hmm?" Peter Sam glanced over in surprise. "That wasn't Fred's voice, or any of the coaches – and they're the only girls we have on this railway."

"Is it a new engine and you didn't know about it?" suggested Julie.

"Wait… Ah recognize that voice!" gasped Duncan. He rushed over to the tunnel. "Is that… by the Great Railway Above! Orchid?!"

"Duncan!" exclaimed Orchid; she painted in an orchid livery with dark blue stripes, and plates with the number 93 on both sides of her cab. "I don't believe it! It's great to see you!"

"W-what are ye doin' here?!" Duncan exclaimed. "Of all the engines Ah wasnae expecting to see again!"

"Well… unfortunately, it's not good," sighed Orchid. "After I was bought from the factory, I lived with a kind owner for a long time…" She bit her lip. "Unfortunately, my owner died and… a team of thieves just dumped me here."

"Oh my!" gasped Peter Sam. "You poor thing. Don't worry, I'm sure Mr. Percival will take you in."

"Aye," agreed Duncan. "We'll talk to our controller right away."

"If he's going to take me in," said Orchid, "he'll have to take in Silver as well."

"Silver?" asked Peter Sam. "Who's she?"

"She's around here somewhere." Orchid looked around the area, then saw a dark shape in the tunnel. "Come on, Sil. What are you waiting for? An invitation?"

Don't give me away, don't give me away, don't give me away… she thought. Just then, there was a whistle.

"Watch out!" called Luke, nearly bumping into the other newcomer.

"Oh, s-sorry," Silver stammered; like Orchid, she was painted the same color as her name and had red lining and black wheels. Darn it… she thought. There goes that plan.

"You shouldn't hide in tunnels," advised Luke. "Believe me, I've done that before…"

"I'll keep that in mind," she sighed. "Er… good day, everyone. Though not necessarily a good day for exiting tunnels."

"Welcome, Silver," Peter Sam said warmly. "Don't worry. You'll be right at home on the Skarloey Railway."

"C'mon, Ah'll show ye around," said Duncan to Orchid.

"That sounds delightful," said Orchid. "Thank you, Duncan."

"I'll take Silver," said Peter Sam. "Oh, there's so much to see!" Silver gave a sad sigh and followed the dark green engine.

"Orchid and Silver both seem rather nice," Julie remarked. "Though Silver looks a bit sad."

"Maybe she and Orchid were both dumped together," suggested Luke. "If that's true, no wonder they're both upset."

"First some diesels go missing, and then these two show up out of nowhere," muttered Julie. "What next? The Star Fleet rocking up to work at Brendam Docks?"

What happened next, however, was that the Arlesdale Railway also received two unexpected arrivals.

"Sabrina? Ellie? Is that really you two?" asked Rex.

"That it is, Rex," beamed Sabrina, a vibrant orange tender engine with yellow lining. "Why, it's been a dog's age since we saw you!"

"Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle," said Mike.

"So where's your tail and fur then?" laughed Rex.

"Wha, er… oh! Rex!"

"Never mind," chuckled Bert. "It's great to see you two again."

"Y-yes," said Ellie, a pink tank engine with green lining. "In a manner of speaking."

"What Ellie means to say is," said Sabrina, "after we were stored away for years, some thieves came to our shed one night and then unceremoniously dumped us here."

"You're joking!" gasped Jock.

"I'm afraid we're not," sighed Sabrina. "It was a lucky break we ended up here. At least we got to meet you and see our old friends again."

"Yeah, it's nice to make new friends too," agreed Sigrid. "Welcome to the railway, darlings."

"B-but… what would Mr. Duncan say if he sees us?" asked Ellie.

"I'm sure he'd take you two in," said Bert. "We've gotten financially stable thanks to the North Western engines' help."

"Speaking of which," said Frank, "they've been having some trouble recently; some of their diesels have gone missing, and the rest of the engines don't know where they've gone."

"Gracious!" gasped Sabrina. "That's just awful."

"I-is there anything we can do to help?" Ellie said quietly.

"Keep your eyes open for suspicious activity," said Oliver, coming in with Isabel and Dulcie. "Thieves dumping you smaller engines and stealing diesels… we really need Barbara Regaby back here now."

"Oh, she's picked a bad time to go away for a while," agreed Isabel.

"I just hope that whatever crime she's helping with is solved soon," added Dulcie.

That night, the engines started to go to their switched sheds. One of them had Diesel sleeping at Oliver's berth and Oliver was supposed to go sleep with Den, while Dart was assigned to sleep with the Knapford engines and Amanda took his spot at the Dieselworks. However, the autotank had a nagging question all day.

"Cous," said Oliver, "why did you suggest such an idea this morning? And Diesel, why did you agree to it so quickly? I thought you would have been one of the last engines to comply."

"Well…" sighed Duck, "Oliver, you won't believe this. I… had a strange dream a few nights ago. Collet said there was a fire coming, but… I didn't know what it could mean."

"Wait," said Oliver. "A dream from Collet… you had a vision from the Great Railway?"

"'Some fires are quenched by water, others need an extra hand,'" Duck recounted. "I thought it meant a literal fire was coming, but then he said…"

"'But some need to burn out before harm can cross our land,'" Diesel finished.

"You had the same dream?!" gasped Duck.

"It would seem so," Diesel sighed. "I was caught in a flame… it was near impossible to escape. But then, Collet showed up and had water splashed onto me."

"Collet and I were the ones putting out the fire, but I didn't see you in the dream," Duck shuddered. "And the diesels are getting kidnapped. I… I didn't think the Great Railway could send warnings like that."

"Oh, believe me, they can," said Oliver. "Katrina had a similar vision before she, Isabel and Dulcie were withdrawn. I refused to believe her then, and if I continued to… Toad and I would've been scrap metal and wood long ago."

"We need to be prepared for anything, you two," said Duck. "I suggest we get a good night's sleep, and tell Annabelle about any clues we find."

"Good plan," said Oliver. "I'll see you in the morning, Duck and Diesel."

The engines started to drift off to sleep, but there were still the sounds of engines puffing through the night.

"They had to rearrange the diesels and electric engines," muttered Roxanne.

"That's not going to matter too much," said a maroon Oliver lookalike; her name was Vanessa. "One of those 08s is up the Little Western with our brother and cousin."

"Ugh," said the purple Oliver lookalike, Veronica. "I just hope it isn't that black one that told lies about Duck."

"Does it really matter who's where?" snapped the Hurricane lookalike, named Rodney. "As long as we're able to find any diesels and electrics and bring them to Vicarstown, that's what counts."

"I'll get the one on the Little Western," said Vanessa. "As if we didn't need to go back there…"

"I'm collecting those mini-diesels," said the Belle lookalike; Lawrence. He had four flatbeds in tow. "Those runts won't be able to do anything if they've got no rails to run on!"

Both engines set off down the branch line. It was eerily silent; the two couldn't even hear an owl hooting. Lawrence soon arrived at the transfer yards, while Vanessa veered in the other direction.

"Oi…" Lawrence whispered. "Sabrina, Ellie, did you get them?"

"They've been given Green Water, Lawrence," said Sabrina. "No way they'll wake up… until it's too late."

True to her word, Frank, Sigrid, Ivy and Idina were in a deep sleep.

"Sabrina!" gasped Ellie. "I don't think this is a good idea."

"Don't be such a wet blanket, Ellie!" snapped Sabrina. "Besides, Bert, Mike and Rex left us behind too. Who's to say they won't do it again?"

"It wasn't their fault!" cried Ellie. "It was financial difficulties that got in the way."

"Are you two going to sit there arguing or are you going to help load these buzz boxes onto my flatbeds?" snapped Lawrence.

"Ah, right," said Sabrina, immediately getting the crane to load Frank up. "Ellie, come on! Otherwise, Addison won't be too pleased with you, and we know what happens when she gets angry…"

Ellie gulped and did as she was told. "I'm sorry…" she whispered to the diesels, quietly so that Sabrina and Lawrence didn't hear her.

At Arlesburgh sheds, Duck, Diesel and the Scottish twins were sound asleep. Vanessa slipped carefully in through the night.

"If Oliver almost succeeded in getting to Sodor on his own, this should be simple," she hummed to herself. Unfortunately, she realized too late that the points were set the wrong way.

"Vanessa!" whispered her driver. "Watch that–"

CRACKLE, BANG!

"Flare?!" gasped the fireman.

"Git ye!" shouted Douglas, opening his eyes. "You're nae getting yer buffers oan ony diesels th' nicht!"

"Oh no!" cried a singed Vanessa. "Retreat! Lawrence, darling, help me, please!" The maroon tank engine bolted away.

"That was a good plan, Douglas," said Duck.

"Where did you come up with that?" asked Diesel.

"Och, Porter said that his friends at Bigg City did something lik' this back in '21," said Douglas.

"Still, whaur wis this accomplice o' Vanessa?" asked Donald.

"Don't know," said Duck. "Well, at least those two didn't get away with anyone tonight."

Little did they realize that Lawrence had already slipped away with the Arlesdale diesels in tow, and was now chasing after the frightened Vanessa.

"Why did you not grab him?!" snapped Lawrence.

"Things got complicated, and my paintwork is ruined!" retorted Vanessa. "Addison will be hearing it from me."

The duo got back to Addison, along with the rest of the standard gauge engines.

"What?! Why is everyone slightly blackened?" she gasped. "Did you get trapped at the coal hopper?"

"Not me," said Nathan. "I was trying to kidnap that 07, see, but the points were away from the shed and I bumped straight into a flared flatbed! Porter said he'd send the cops on me."

"Happened to me too," said Flower; she looked like Edward, but was painted orange instead of blue. "I was aiming for one of the Dieselworks duo – the one down at Knapford for some reason, but the engines were woken up and I had no choice but to run."

"And my paintwork was ruined because of that flare set up near the Little Western sheds!" grunted Venessa.

"That is the last thing we need right now!" Addison snarled. "Ugh! I thought this would be easy, but these Sudrians… AAAAAGGGHH!" In the midst of her rage, Addison knocked over her midnight snack, and the cake went flying into Rodney. "Oops… sorry." She quickly took a cloth and cleaned him up.

"If it's any consolation, Addison," said Lawrence, "we got the four runts that Sabrina and Ellie were supposed to kidnap."

Only now were the Green Water's effects wearing off, and the Arlesdale diesels groggily opened their eyes.

"Wha… wh-where are we?!" cried Ivy.

"This can't be Arlesburgh Junction!" exclaimed Idina. "Why are we on flatbeds?!"

"More like, 'why did these jerks bring us here against our will?'" retorted Frank.

"I demand you take us right back to our railway this instant!" snapped Sigrid. "Or you will get into a world of trouble with Mr. Duncan!"

"Oh, I think you lot are going to end up in trouble," smirked Addison. She gestured for Lawrence to shunt the flatbeds into an abandoned area of the Dieselworks yards.

"Oh… oh, Great Railway above!" gulped Ivy. There, shivering in fear, were BoCo, Daisy, Mavis, Scarlett and Philip.

"They got you four as well," gasped Mavis.

"And soon, there will be more of you!" Addison cackled, before she began to sing:

"Look at them now; what do they want?

And what do they do now? Nothing at all!"

She walked over to where the captured diesels stood before pointing accusingly at them.

"They all survive for no reason, but what do they know?"

She turned back to her crew, as if expecting an answer from them.

"What do they think, and who do they tell? Well, no one at all!"

As if from nowhere, Addison pulled a projection screen down.

"Their lives are purely meaningless

For steam engines deserve to be blessed!"

The screen showcased BoCo and Arthur, with the latter boasting to the former about being chosen to go to the North Western Railway over him. BoCo himself glared at the display.

"Annabelle, she's such a fool to think

There's diesels who are good!"

The scene then changed to Annabelle talking to Diesel and the two were laughing together.

"Her reputation will soon shrink

For believing such a falsehood!"

Then, the screen showed Diesel chasing Annabelle into some flames; the diesels watching glared at Addison, but she didn't notice.

"Can't you hear the choir now?

Listen to all the diesels scream!

Can't you hear the scrapyard bells?

In the land of the diesel, the scrapper is queen!

In the land of the diesel, the scrapper is queen!"

The scene had changed to Addison being surrounded by her engines, as if they were a chorus line. They had even begun to join her for the chorus.

"Can't you hear the choir now?

Listen to those smelly boxes scream!

Can't you hear the scrapyard bells?

In the land of the diesel, the scrapper is queen!

In the land of the diesel, the scrapper is queen!"

During that repeat, images of a bell looking almost like Toby's chimed loudly as they faded in and out; the engines repeated that last line without Addison before she resumed singing solo:

"How do they sleep?

Their lives are oh, so drab, bring me the cutter's torches!"

The screen then showed Addison in court, back when she claimed she was forced into working with Diesel 10 by her grandfather. This was partially true, of course.

"Cause they'll all become scrap! What do you expect?"

In Addison's mind, the diesels had chains attached to their back couplings and they couldn't escape – never mind the fact they couldn't move without drivers anyway.

"They've got no standards, it's perfect for us, let's lower the bar!"

Some bars lowered down in front of the diesels, making escape further impossible.

"We'll open up Pandora's Box, Pandora gave us keys and locks!"

Addison held a key in front of the bars, as if she was taunting the diesels.

"They're stealing jobs that steamers used to do

Acting holier-than-thou, but I can tell you that their end is due!"

The scene changed again to that of a courtroom; Addison was now dressed like a judge, grinning wickedly, with her engines acting like the jury and the diesels the accused, including those she had yet to capture, the electric engines among them.

"There's no time like now!"

The word "guilty" appeared from the steam engines' funnels, and the diesels and electric engines present gawked in horror.

"Can't you hear the choir now?

Listen to those air polluters scream!

Can't you hear the scrapyard bells?"

A scrapyard then filled the screen, with the diesels and electric engines filling the sidings.

"In the land of the diesel, the scrapper is queen!

In the land of the diesel, the scrapper is queen!"

Addison lit up a scrapper's torch, glowing a burning hot red.

"Can't you hear the choir now?

Listen to those oil guzzlers scream!

Can't you hear the scrapyard bells?"

The steam engines gave wicked grins as Addison clicked her fingers, giving them the signal to begin pouring Black Water onto the diesels.

"In the land of the diesel, the scrapper is queen!

In the land of the diesel, the scrapper is…"

The diesels and electric engines gave silent screams as Black Water poured onto them, causing them to fall permanently asleep one by one before the screen was covered entirely black.

"Queen!"

The screen wound back up again as Addison and most of her engines laughed in the horrified faces of their captives.

"We've got to get out of here!" gulped Daisy. "Oh, I hope the others find us soon." The rest of the group silently agreed.

Author's Comments

Here's the next chapter to Engines of the Same Metals, and this is where the action really kicks off. Addison Darnell and the Anti-Diesel/Electric League Revolution have invaded Sodor and are now in the first phase of kidnapping any engines that aren't powered by coal and water. Of course, Annabelle and the Sodor engines aren't going to stand for this and will protect all of their diesel/electric friends at any cost. The ending song is a parody of "In the Land of the Pig, The Butcher is King" from Jim Steinman's Bat Out of Hell: The Musical, which just seemed too good to not use as a villain song. It was also really fun to visualize, showing just how screwed up Addison's views on diesels and electrics are, as well as how messed up is in the head she's become over the years.

Next time, more of our friends get captured, and there's Danger at the Dieselworks!