((One day early because tomorrow I'll be busy in the evening.))

8. Warmth in Body and Soul to Chase Away the Darkness

Wet clothes were clinging to his back, his hair was a chaotic tangle, and his arms were aching from holding on to the stupid wall – and yet Shi Qingxuan felt like dancing. He Xuan hadn't been happy about the interruption, but after being reminded of how the option to close a door behind them sounded nice, he'd relented.

And now the former Wind Master was watching his best friend while Xie Lian and Hua Cheng planned to investigate the temple. 'I don't know if we'll find anything useful,' He Xuan said, pulling him out of his reverie. 'Probably just a crudely crafted likeness of me with a nail through its head. What do you think, Qingxuan?'

Shi Qingxuan looked at himself and the dirty state of his clothes and sighed. 'I need a bath.'

The other three men stared at him, and He Xuan closed his eyes for a few seconds to bite back whatever he wanted to say. 'About investigating the temple,' he clarified, gesturing helpfully to the building right in front of them.

The problem was, Shi Qingxuan was getting incredibly uncomfortable, and he had half a mind to go to sleep in his guest bed for three days despite the fact that it was still too early for that. All of a sudden the thought of returning to a life in squalor made him want to cry. No clean clothes, no certainty of having food or water, no help if he got injured or ill. No Xuan-xiong – not because the ghost would abandon him but because that choice would hurt him and Shi Qingxuan would walk away from him if he stuck with his plan. He couldn't have it both ways.

That last thought had him moving before he even realised what he was doing, putting his arms around He Xuan's waist and resting his head on his chest.

'Take him home,' Xie Lian said. 'He's had a hard time.'

Laughter bubbled up from Shi Qingxuan's belly. He tried to control it, he did, but he failed miserably. Disentangling himself from He Xuan, he turned his back on them and managed to get a grip. 'Oh no. I'm sorry, but …' He faced them again and extended his arms. 'I'm having the time of my life!' He beamed at the man he'd just been kissing thoroughly, wanting nothing more than to get back to doing that. 'The past few days … I've been so at peace. I'm not forgetting how important this is, don't think that, but the one thing I have seen now is that you three, all of you, you haven't forgotten me, either. I …' He faltered. 'I don't know what to do any more.'

He Xuan gave him a long look. 'Then do nothing,' he said eventually. 'Until you know, keep enjoying the ride.' He started walking to the temple with brisk strides. He fumbled in his sleeve for cinnabar and drew on the door, his movements sure and clean.

'You're doing this really well,' Shi Qingxuan said.

He Xuan ignored this. 'Investigate all you want. We're going home.' He took Shi Qingxuan's hand and pulled him through the array without hesitation.

'And now you've got me here, what are you going to do with me?' Shi Qingxuan asked when he found himself in He Xuan's dedicated teleportation room.

'Come on.' He Xuan led him to the kitchen and sat him down. He placed more food in front of him than Shi Qingxuan was likely to eat in a week. 'Eat. Drink. I'm running you a bath in the meantime. Then you'll rest.'

'I want to talk to you.' He meant talk. He really did.

'Then we will. But first you need a chance to wind down a little.' He Xuan reached out and cupped his cheek. 'You've had it so hard, Qingqing. I'm trying to show that it doesn't have to stay that way. Let me … let me do something good for you for a change.'

'You've been doing good things for me since before I got here,' Shi Qingxuan answered, but he relented. The thought of He Xuan pampering him was rather appealing.

Less than an hour later, he felt a world better. He hadn't even realised how hungry he was. He was so used to only having a little food once a day, he had learned to ignore his body. The bath had carried a scent he couldn't pinpoint, but whatever had been in it had relaxed him to the core, the pain from his previous exertion gone completely. Dressed in fresh clothes that actually fit him, he returned into the guest room to look at the place and asked himself, for the first time, if he really wanted to go back.

'You can stay here as long as you like,' He Xuan said behind him as if he'd guessed his thoughts. 'As my guest. Or my friend. Or …'

'Or?' Shi Qingxuan prompted.

'All of the above and more.'

If he walked away, he had to do it now, and he couldn't let anything else happen between them. It would break He Xuan's heart, but if this was what he had to do, he needed to do it fast before he did more damage than was absolutely necessary. 'No way,' he whispered, then remembered what He Xuan had said and gasped. He slapped his hand over the other man's mouth to stop him from speaking. 'Don't!' he exclaimed, ignoring the eyes wide with suppressed outrage. 'That wasn't my answer! I was talking to myself!' He took his face into both hands – gently, this time – and stared at him. 'I want … I want to be with you.' He pulled him into the room and kicked the door shut. 'Right now. I want to see how well we do together.' He leaned in and kissed him softly. 'I want to see you fall apart under my hands. I want to touch you all over and feel you and love you.' He looked at him earnestly. 'Let me love you, Xuan-xiong.'

'And what am I getting?' He Xuan asked. 'A moment before you grow old and die? I said I'll take whatever you offer, but I'd like to know in advance.'

'Hmm. A mortal would be better than a heavenly official, don't you think?' Shi Qingxuan tapped his finger against his lower lip. 'It would take a lot less commitment, a lot less potential for a conflict of interest, and I could be here all the time with no other duties to look to. It would be easier for you.' He smiled and shook his head. 'You'll be glad to hear that I'm not making it easy for you. I have no idea who the new Emperor is or what her demands of a Middle Court official are, but depending on that, I can only come and visit. I will do that any time I can. If you are very unlucky, I'll be here a lot.'

'I'm going to tell His Highness he can borrow you but not have you,' He Xuan said. 'He'll know where to find you if you live here, it shouldn't make a difference to him. And we … spent so much time together in the past, we already know we work well. For so long, we met in the morning and parted late at night. Soon after I reached the Heavens, we were around each other all day every day. Living with you doesn't seem like a huge step when the only thing we didn't do was sleep together – in any sense.'

'If you look at it like that, no. I guess His Highness will understand me if I tell him I'd prefer to stay with you.' He took He Xuan's hand and pulled him with him to the table. 'Now, I think we were in the middle of something earlier.'

He Xuan's eyes blazed at that and when their lips met, there was nothing tentative or careful about it. Shi Qingxuan groaned, feeling his blood rush south. He was wearing too much. They both were, and they both clearly wanted to remedy that. The ghost stripped him effectively and folded his clothes neatly on the table before looking him over from head to toe. 'I didn't take good care of you,' he said. 'You're half starved.'

The truth was that He Xuan had given him more than enough. He had simply shared it with others. 'I'll get better now,' he said. 'I had it a lot easier than I would have without you. I'm sorry I look half dead, ha ha ha, I guess I'm not much to look at.' He felt very self-conscious all of a sudden, but not for long.

He Xuan was right there a moment later, lifting him under his arms. Shi Qingxuan wrapped his legs around him automatically and let himself be carried over to the bed. 'You're beautiful,' the ghost said softly as he put him down. 'You're beautiful because you're alive and fearless and laughing like an idiot when you shouldn't. You are back. My Qingxuan is back.' He lay on the bed next to him and pulled him close, letting his hand travel down his side to his hips. 'I'll love you with all I have. I'll cook for you, I'll sing for you, I'll give you all I have to give. Which isn't a lot, but what I have is yours.'

Shi Qingxuan smiled. 'It's everything. Please don't look so lost.' He kissed He Xuan softly, letting his tongue slip out to lick his lips open. It was met by its peer and he moaned, needing so much more. 'Lie back,' he said against his partner's mouth, shifting until he straddled him. He enjoyed how they were pressed together, how this was all he had ever dreamed except so much better. He kissed a trail down He Xuan's body and looked up when he arrived where he'd wanted. 'Is this okay?' he asked. 'Are you fine with me taking the lead like that?'

'Anything. This is exactly how I want you. In control.' He Xuan ran his fingers through Shi Qingxuan's hair. 'I mean it. You can do anything you want to me.'

'Only good things, I promise.' He met the other man's eyes and grinned before he flicked his tongue briefly over his tip. He tilted his head. 'More?'

'Oh, you horrible tease, yes.'

Shi Qingxuan chuckled. 'Okay.' He kissed him there and opened his lips, taking him gently into his mouth. He never looked away while he bobbed his head up and down He Xuan's shaft. He let one hand travel up the taut muscles of his stomach to his chest, splaying his fingers to feel the strength of the man under him. His partner covered the straying hand with his free one, holding it firmly in place. Shi Qingxuan noticed the harsh breathing of his lover, his hips lifting off the mattress with need, but the man's other hand in his hair was incredibly gentle, keeping him in control as he'd promised. There was no attempt to coax him into taking his long member deeper than he was comfortable with. Some men did that – and maybe some people enjoyed being on the receiving end – but Shi Qingxuan's heart sang that his wasn't one of those. He was gentle by nature, and he liked being treated gently in return.

He relinquished He Xuan's cock from his mouth, nuzzled it briefly, and moved back up for a kiss. 'There is so much I want to try with you, Xuan-xiong,' he said softly. Those words drew a sound almost like a whimper out of the other man, so he continued in the same tone. 'What do you want? Right now, I mean. Do you want me to suck you off? Is there anything in particular you like or dislike? Are we going too fast or too slow? Speak to me.'

'I … Qingqing, I meant it, you can call me Ming-xiong.'

It hit him then. 'Wait. You wouldn't just tolerate it, you'd prefer that?'

'Y-yes.' He Xuan swallowed. 'I want us to be us again. I still feel like I tainted every aspect of our relationship. I know I don't deserve that, but I want you back.'

'You have me.' He brushed his lips over He Xuan's, the gesture tender and innocent. 'I'm here with you, and I'm not going anywhere. Ming-xiong. You look so soft right now, I wish you could see yourself.'

'I love you.' He Xuan's voice cracked. 'I love you. And right now, I want you inside me. I can change, if you need me to.'

Since he was still in his human form, he probably meant into a woman. Shi Qingxuan smiled. It didn't matter to him what He Xuan looked like. The difference between his real appearance and this one was minimal, and even in his female form he was recognisable. But if he was offered a choice, it was an easy one. 'Stay like this.' He sat up a little and grinned. 'Today, anyway. Is that something you want to try one day? Changing your form? Or mine? Or both?'

'With you?' He Xuan asked. 'Yes. All of those. I want to be with every version of you in every version of me.'

The expression on Shi Qingxuan's face turned mischievous. 'I see! Oh, but that opens up very interesting possibilities. For now … Do you have …'

'There.' He Xuan passed him a small bottle of oil he'd brought to the bed with them. 'I thought … I'd hoped …'

Shi Qingxuan rescued him when he faltered. 'You thought right.'

'Don't be too cautious, I'm a ghost. You won't hurt me. Just use enough to let you move with ease and get going.'

'Really?' He eyed the man under him. 'You're not using my body to punish yourself, are you?'

'No. I promise, I wouldn't do that to you.' His expression was earnest, his eyes locked firmly to Shi Qingxuan's. 'Believe it or not, I want this to be good for both of us. I just know my own body.'

'Ha ha ha, you probably do.' He tilted his head. 'And in a little bit, I'll know it, too.' He coated himself and massaged a generous amount of oil into He Xuan's opening. 'I love you, too, Ming-xiong.' He loved saying that name, loved seeing him look so warm and unguarded. He slid between the long, slender legs, positioned himself, and pushed inside him cautiously. At least that was the plan.

He Xuan grabbed his hips and pulled him in deep. 'There,' he said. 'You won't hurt me, Qingqing. Be gentle, I like that, but let me feel you.'

Closing his eyes, Shi Qingxuan started to move. 'Hmm, so good,' he purred. 'I've wanted you so much, but I always felt I couldn't have you. You feel like coming home from a long exhausting journey. '

'And you like a dream,' He Xuan answered. 'I'm still worried I'll wake up alone.'

'A dream? Then I need to become more substantial, I think. Pull your legs up, will you?' He Xuan obliged him, giving him better access, and he started taking him with more vigour. 'If that doesn't wake you up, I say chances are good you're not dreaming.' He grinned and drove into He Xuan, who arched under him and groaned. 'Or do you think you could sleep through this?'

He Xuan's answer was a moan, low and desperate. 'You're a very impressive dream,' he managed, wrapping his legs around the other man. 'You're really good at this. Better than I expected.'

Shi Qingxuan laughed at that and kissed him sloppily, sucking his tongue into his mouth while he moved inside him. 'I'll work out whether I'm delighted or offended later, okay?'

'I didn't think you'd be no good at it, just not that -' his voice cut off with a strained grunt at another deep thrust, fingers gripping Shi Qingxuan's hips hard. 'Oh, don't stop, don't stop, don't ever stop.'

He had no intention to stop. He was sweating, panting, completely dishevelled, and it was He Xuan who had got him that way. He had his supreme ghost king on his back under him, open and giving himself over to him. The look on his face was one of aching wonder, and for the first time it struck Shi Qingxuan how much this man had suffered – not because of what had been done to him, but because of what he had caused. 'Look at me,' he told him, unable to keep teasing him. 'What do you see? Tell me.'

He Xuan's hands were on his sides, whispering over his sweat-slick skin, shaking with need. 'I see someone I adore,' he said, his voice dark with desire. 'Someone kind and generous. Someone I hurt.'

'My sweet Ming-xiong, don't look away.' Shi Qingxuan leaned down to kiss him, and he kept himself buried deep inside He Xuan as he rocked into him. When he released his lips again, the ghost's expression was calmer. 'You can always face me. Don't hurt yourself any more,' he told him softly. 'You were my friend longer than you were not. I'm not hurt. I'm so happy. I'm making love to my Ming-xiong. I wouldn't trade this for anything in the whole world.'

'I'm glad,' He Xuan whispered. 'You feel so good, Qingqing. Say it again. Please.'

'Huh? That I'm not hurt? Oh! Ming-xiong? Ming-xiong, my amazing Ming-xiong! Oh, how I've wanted you.'

He Xuan groaned and tossed his head back, moving against him hard and fast, urging him on with his body. Shi Qingxuan thought about warning him to slow down a little, but He Xuan's expression was almost feral with lust. Judging from the self-satisfied look on the ghost's face, he didn't need or want any warning. 'There you go, Qingxuan, does it make you feel alive? Having me at last?'

Any remaining coherent sentence fled from Shi Qingxuan. He Xuan's eyes were alight with passion, his fingers digging firmly into his shoulders but not hard enough to bruise, his legs urging him to thrust faster, deeper into his willing body. Shi Qingxuan moaned, feeling and staring and needing, pure instinct winning over conscious thought. He cupped the back of his lover's head and kissed him fiercely while he plunged into him with wet smacks. Heat was gathering in his belly, and he was so close, so close.

A moment later, He Xuan's breath caught and his body went taut under him. A choked groan broke from him and Shi Qingxuan felt his slippery release between them. The ring of muscle he was buried in clenched hard, and he came with a shout, all control of his hips or his voice torn from him, as he pulsed his seed into the other man.

'Ming-xiong,' was the first thing he could say again eventually. Then he laughed. He was starting to soften and slipped out of He Xuan's body, and he finally opened his eyes to look at the man he had known for centuries but nowhere near deeply enough. He was so happy he thought he might cry, and he was sure it was written all over his face. When his partner pulled him close for a kiss, he wished the flow of time would stop and never pick up again. He wanted to stay like this forever, being touched so tenderly, the soft slide of lips against lips speaking its own language of the deepest affection. 'I'm so glad I can call you that, I couldn't have stopped myself right now,' he said when the ghost relinquished his lips – reluctantly, it seemed, staying so close he could almost still feel them.

He Xuan's expression was earnest. 'Never change, Qingqing. Promise me that you'll never let anything break you.'

'Will I have you to come home to?'

'Always.'

'Then it's an easy promise to make.' He lay down at He Xuan's side. Sighing, he put his head on his shoulder and flung one arm over his chest. Gentle fingers whispered down the soft skin on the inside of his forearm before they intertwined with his. Shi Qingxuan squeezed a little. 'I feel safe with you as my home. I'm so glad I'm getting to know you like this, too.' For a while, they basked in each other's presence before he started to remember that they still had a bit of a problem. Reluctantly, he sat up. 'I'd really like to fall asleep with you right now, but I think we should take care of your ghost. Did you bring back the clothes?'

'Two questions,' He Xuan said without moving an inch or releasing his hand. 'First: Do you really think I cared about that after you vanished? And second: Are you completely mad?'

'Um.' Shi Qingxuan blinked. 'Were you that worried?'

He Xuan sat up slowly. He did let go now in favour of pulling the other man against his chest. 'I was frightened out of my mind. Why do you reckon I don't want you to quit on His Highness? I've only just got you back. I can't stand the thought of you getting hurt or … withering away until you're gone. If you return to her place, she'll try to take you from me.'

'She might not even recognise me,' Shi Qingxuan reasoned. 'I didn't use any powers after the one time she saw, she either thinks I'm still in the well or she'll know I was rescued. Since she poisoned me, she probably assumes I'm out cold, too.'

'This is so dangerous. What do you even want to achieve?'

'Well, first of all, I'd like you to give me a little credit. I can handle myself. She's a wrath at most, but I think maybe not even that.'

'Since she can change her shape, she's unlikely to be below that. But she might be on the weaker side for one.'

'Well, then don't be a mother hen. I need clothes. Wang Ai's should work for me, but something not too conspicuous.'

'Qingxuan. What good will it do?'

'Hmm. Aw, Ming-xiong, I can't lie to you. I think she'll see through it. I'm counting on it, actually. I want to play along, pretend I'm clueless. I'll be careful, and I won't let anyone touch me while I'm there. Only you get to do that.'

'That was so not what I was worried about. I don't kn…'

The door to the guest room flew open, revealing Xie Lian. For a moment, he took the situation in, then his face turned crimson in record time as he forcefully closed his eyes and spun. 'I have not seen anything,' he lied. 'At all.' The door banged shut as he left.

He Xuan looked simultaneously mortified and furious, but Shi Qingxuan didn't care one bit. He let himself flop down onto the bed in all his naked glory and laughed. 'Look at the bright side,' he said, 'now we don't need to tell them.'

'Has no-one ever taught this man the meaning of a closed door?'

'Honest answer? Probably not.' Shi Qingxuan sighed and rolled out of the bed, no matter how tempting it was. 'I need another bath. You made me sticky.'

'For real? You've got some nerve.'

'Oh? So we need a bath. Preferably together. Then let's hear what they have to say.'

'Qingxuan?' He Xuan stood and pulled him into his arms. 'Do me a favour. I'd like to run your plan past them. Maybe they can add something to make this a little less insane, or maybe they have information that helps us find a safer solution. Please. Let's try and look for an alternative. I don't like you having to fix what I broke.'

Shi Qingxuan pulled away a little to kiss He Xuan softly. 'I see no harm in another perspective. And I promise you one thing: If I go, if we do this, I will come back to you. I'll always come back to you.'

((He Xuan was being difficult. I wanted him to realise that Shi Qingxuan will mess up and use his old name, so he was always going to give him a free pass on that. I didn't want to make it a thing, but he had to go and ask for it. I know this sounds bonkers, but sometimes I feel like I have no control over what these people do.

If you think He Xuan's little declaration feels a bit like a particular Beatles-song – yes, I noticed that. It wasn't intentional at all, but I have decided not to change it.))