AN: Trigger warning – rape

Charlie was a simple man. He wanted fish to eat for dinner, which I'm sure he had eaten many times before. I wondered then how much he went fishing. I wasn't about to go anywhere, so I guess I would find out soon. We made dinner mostly in silence. Charlie wasn't a talkative man. I felt relieved at that. I didn't feel like talking right now.

We sat down to eat, and Charlie tried to engage in conversation for the first time. "How was your first day of school?"

I stopped eating for a second, trying to erase the flashback from my mind before it came back to haunt me again. "It was okay."

Charlie nodded his head "Good, good."

That was the extent of our conversation. I finished before he did, and I placed my dishes into the sink. I would come back and wash them after Charlie went to sleep. I didn't want to stick around and invite more conversation. Not right now anyway. I took Atlas out to use the bathroom, giving him an extra few minutes to sniff around and explore. I then made my way up the stairs and to my bedroom. I collapsed on the bed, tears flowing again. "Fuck," I whispered angrily, covering my head with my pillow. "Just fuck." I didn't deserve this. There wasn't exactly a therapist in Forks either, so I was left to figure things out for myself. At least I was away from Phil.

I was tired, but I also knew I wouldn't be able to sleep easily. My solution was to just lay on the bed and cry, but I eventually forced myself up to change and brush my teeth. I couldn't just sit around and feel sorry for myself. I owed myself more than that. I laid back down in my bed, took a few deep breaths, and closed my eyes, ready to try and sleep.

I was back in my bedroom in Phoenix again. At first, it seemed like it would be another flashback to the night my mother and I were assaulted, but this time when I let down the blanket, Phil was standing there. His face looked the same way the original intruder's did, angry without reason. Memories seemed to be combining in my head, but the fear was unchanged.

"You can't do this! My mother won't allow it!" I screamed, getting up from my bed and retreating to the corner.

"Your mother won't ever know. Say something, and I'll kill you, you know I will," Phil hissed, coming toward me and grabbing me. He dragged me out of the corner, and threw me onto the bed. No, no…why did this keep happening to me? I didn't deserve this. Phil began taking my clothes off, and I screamed.

I didn't even realize I was awake until Charlie burst into the room. "Bella?! What's wrong? What's going on?!"

It was then that I understood I was awake and screaming, not asleep and screaming. I took a few deep breaths, trying to calm myself. Charlie looked at me, waiting for a response, panic clear in his eyes.

"I'm okay," I said, sitting up. "It was just a nightmare."

"You're okay then?" Charlie asked, not moving from the doorway.

"Yes," I said, trying to calm myself, as panic still had its hold on me. 'I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. Sometimes I just have bad dreams."

Charlie didn't ask further questions regarding why that was. I was again thankful for his silence. He stood in the doorway for another few moments, then saying quietly, "Okay. Let me know if you need anything okay?"

I nodded yes to him, and he turned around and closed the door.

I started crying again, for what seemed like the hundredth time. I was angry now though. What had I ever done to deserve this much pain? I smothered my head in the pillow, letting out an animalistic scream into it, then taking it and throwing it across the room. Atlas watched from the side of the bed, crying softly. I turned my head in his direction and sighed. "Come here." Atlas quickly approached. "We can't both cry. One of us has to be strong at least, and I guess it's my turn for that."

I pushed myself up from bed, glancing at the clock. It was already three in the morning. I let out yet another sigh as I stood up, grabbing Atlas's leash. "Let's go outside." Atlas wagged his tail and got to his feet. I clipped the leash to him and headed outside. It was dark here, so much darker than Phoenix. I could see so many stars. I never realized there were so many stars to be seen. Atlas didn't seem to share my awe, and was peeing on a nearby bush while I stared upward.

Suddenly, I got the feeling that someone was staring at me. I glanced around quickly, but it was too dark to see much of anything. Atlas seemed to be on alert as well, and we rushed back inside. I felt unsafe, and I was surprised to feel that way here. That was the kind of feeling I was trying to get rid of. That was why I moved here. I shivered slightly, climbing the stairs and quietly entering my room. I immediately crawled in bed after closing my door, curling in on myself. Surprisingly, it didn't take me long to fall back asleep.

I felt like shit when I woke up. I also woke up too late to take a shower, and that frustrated me. I changed my clothes, tripping as I tried to put my pants on. Ugh, why did I have to be so clumsy? I went through the rest of my morning routine without much thought. I grabbed Atlas's vest and my backpack and headed downstairs. I let Atlas go potty before I vested him and loaded him into the passenger seat.

I could tell today was going to be a difficult day. It was lightly sprinkling outside, which I will admit was better than it could have been, but I was utterly exhausted. Big surprise, but constant nightmares means very little sleeping. I was exhausted.

The drive to school was yet again short. I arrived in the parking lot, and everyone stared as I pulled into a parking spot. I hated feeling watched like this, especially after suffering so many flashbacks. I felt very on edge. I sighed and turned off the car, hopping out and unloading Atlas.

"Bella!"

I turned around and saw Mike running up to me. He was damp from the rain, and I walked toward my next class, hoping he would follow me to the building and out of the rain. He caught on quickly and did just that.

"Are you okay? You rushed out of class so fast!" Mike exclaimed, seeming to actually be worried. It felt good in a way to see that someone noticed and cared. Maybe I would be okay here in Forks.

"Yeah, I'm okay. I just…I—" I didn't know how to explain myself. I didn't want to trauma dump on someone I just met, nor was I comfortable doing that. "I just needed to be alone for a second. I had some health problems." That was the best way I could put it.

Mike seemed confused, but he didn't press things. Our class still had another ten minutes before it started, but we took our seats anyway. Mike chatted with me the entire time until our class started, and it honestly felt nice. For once, I almost felt normal. Like I belonged somewhere. Again, I thought, maybe Forks wouldn't be too bad.

The rest of my morning classes passed quickly. As soon as Mike was gone, Jessica took his place. There wasn't a second that went by without one of the two wanting to talk my ear off, but again, at least that meant I was making friends here in Forks.

Jessica and I walked to lunch quickly. She was very hungry. I wasn't, but I wasn't going to let that slow her down. That would have just been awkward. We went through the lunch line quickly, and then took our seats at the same table we had sat at yesterday. With a quick glance around, I noticed something very strange. Edward was missing. I tried to reason with myself for a second. Maybe he was sick. Or maybe he was somewhere else like the library. But deep down I think I knew he was gone because of me. I just couldn't figure out what I had done…and I couldn't figure out what he had done either. Atlas didn't react that way to just anyone.

I went through the rest of the day wondering where Edward was, including biology and gym. Though, to be fair, I had nothing else to think of in biology class as I was way farther along than all of the other students. I finished our class assignment within minutes. Then in gym, my thoughts made my clumsiness even worse. We had been playing volleyball too, and I accidentally spiked a ball into the back of Mike's head. At least he took it pretty well.

I drove home after school with my thoughts still wild. Atlas pushed his nose into my shoulder multiple times, trying to ground me. It just wasn't working. I was just too far gone today. Well, the last few days. What was happening to me?

I could think of only one thing to do, and that was to bring my concerns to Charlie. He was a police officer afterall. If there was something for me to worry about, he would know and tell me.

I got home before Charlie did, no big surprise there. He was always working late. I took Atlas to go to the bathroom after underdressing him, petting him for a few minutes and then focusing on making dinner. I was no great chef, but I could make some good spaghetti.

Charlie came in the door noisily, and Atlas immediately went to investigate. "Hey, Buddy."

I walked around the corner to see Charlie loving on Atlas. I smiled, happy to see he was finally warming up to him. He looked up at me then, but before he could speak, I said, "Dinner is on the table, Dad."

"Oh, wow, thanks. You didn't have to do that," he murmured, hanging up his coat. He was damp. It must be raining again…. or still. I shouldn't be surprised.

"Of course I did," I replied. "Now come in here and sit with me."

We walked into the kitchen together and sat down. Suddenly I was nervous. How was I going to do this? Charlie didn't talk much. Would he even share this information with me? Maybe I should just start off with small talk. "So how was your day at work?"

"It was good," Charlie said.

Yup, small talk was not going to work on someone who barely talked. I would have to just ask him outright. "Dad, can I ask you about some students at school. Like if they are trouble makers or anything?"

"Absolutely, I want to keep you safe, Bella," Charlie responded, suddenly very serious.

"Well, I was wondering about Edward Cullen. He just kind of freaked me out the other day. He didn't do anything to me or anything. He just seems, rude…? I don't know…"

Charlie paused for a moment and then leaned forward. "Now don't let those other kids make you think the Cullens are bad people. Those kids never cause issues. The Cullens are just different, but Dr. Cullen is a blessing to the nearby hospital. People should respect him and the work he does more."

"Oh, okay," I choked out. "I was just wondering."

"No, worries, Bells. Anything else on your mind?" Charlie asked.

"No, that was it."

We finished our food in silence, but neither of us seemed to mind it. When we were done, I put the bowls in the sink and headed upstairs. I fed Atlas and went through my nightly routine quickly. I was exhausted for some reason. As I lay in bed, I couldn't get Edward out of my head. I knew that tonight I would be having nightmares.