A/N
Hey friends. I know, I know. it's taken me a lot longer to add this chapter but I've been working on it diligently. Eventually I kind of got stuck in a rut and was overthinking. But I do like how this turned out. Thank you to all my kind readers, reviewers, and kudos-givers. you light up my life. A touch of spice in there but also violence. Also this is the longest chapter so far. I'm almost at 150k words woooow
Tossing and turning in her four-post bed, Hermione huffed, breaking the silence in her bedroom. Her muscles were sore, her brain was tired and her heart fractured. No matter how soft the bed was or how often she fluffed her pillow, sleep would not overtake her. It had been weeks since she had been able to appreciate the simple creature comforts afforded to her. She wasn't exactly sure how much sleep she had gotten the past month or so since the bond was broken. From the emotional turmoil and heartbreak of the termination of the bond to the complete upheaval of daily life at Hogwarts, she hadn't had much time to think about her emotional state whatsoever. Not that she really wanted to.
The heartrending pain that had immediately followed the dissolution of Un Anima Duo had felt worse than any pain she had ever experienced, even the loss of her parents. The tear in her soul that blood magic had created was a gaping wound in her very being. One that Severus's magic had previously filled.
Unconsciously her hand reached for the chain around her neck. The ring she shared with Severus hung on it, close to her heart, but out of sight. A memory from Christmas tried to worm its way to the surface but she pushed it down. The slow appearance of her mind library only bombarded her with more memories of Severus that she did not wish to dwell on. From the first night when he had offered his open door to the day she kidnapped him to perform the ritual. The hungry look in his eyes when he had been jealous of Harry in her bed in the hospital wing. Every kiss they had shared ghosted her lips. The relief when he had survived his torture was followed by the relief she felt when she had survived her own harrowing ordeal. It was no exaggeration to say their relationship, bond and all, had been a rollercoaster. One that she could admit to enjoying while it lasted.
Severus. She cursed him and hated him and loved him more than she should. The logical part of her knew that in the same position, she would have freed him of the bond as he had done her. But he hadn't given her a choice in the matter which sparked another layer of frustration. It was a gift she had wholeheartedly wanted him to have, a second lease on life, and he had just thrown it away. A part of her remembered how angry he had been when he had found out the lengths to which she had gone but she ignored it. She wanted to feel slighted. Anger was easier to handle than sadness. Hermione was almost thankful that he had made himself scarce. She hadn't been able to look at him. Even the simple thought of him made the backs of her eyes sting with unshed tears. To face him would cause a complete meltdown and one thing she had learned all these weeks of training was that soldiers didn't have meltdowns.
That's what she had become. Hermione had taken up the mantle of soldier-cum-general with her strategic training regimen as well as her excellence in all fields. Her anger and heartbreak had become fuel for the cold persona she now wielded like a sword and shield. She knew she was pushing herself too far but what was more effort in the face of a war that once lost would result in her early death anyway?
The increasing attacks on muggleborns, muggles, and sympathizers were proof of her doom in the face of failure. With the intensity with which she threw herself into training, she quickly became one of the most ruthless duelers. Her occlusion and singular focus had become something to envy as she excelled and others like Ron and Harry did their best to catch up.
Succumbing to her body's desperate need for sleep, Hermione took half a dose of a sleeping draught. With a heavy sigh, she sank into the bed and allowed unconsciousness to take her. The darkness of sleep seemed to melt and meld until she was lost in vivid passing dreams. Her mind seemed to dance around topics in a blur of color and sound. Nothing stuck around for long as her thoughts wafted about in her dozing mind.
Through the thick fog of the land of dreams, her mind began to sharpen once more. Then she felt the warm embrace that she had been longing for wrap around her from behind.
"Hermione, love. Can you forgive me?"
His deep voice, which she had missed so much, spoke in her ear. The rumble of it seemed to travel through her chest and straight into her heart. Hermione pressed herself against his warm presence. The feel of him spooning her was a reminder of the few times they had lain together. She felt his lips descend to a spot just behind her ear then followed the curve of her neck to her shoulder. His hot kisses stole gasps from her lips. The growing hunger for him, the request for a shared carnal pleasure dove straight to her core.
"I just want to keep you safe, Hermione. I want you to look at all of this and see that I am doing the right thing."
Severus tilted her head as he rose above her, looking her in the eye as she lay back against her bed. His dark eyes betray every emotion to her. Her eyes focused on his lips and the feel of his arousal against her thigh. She wanted him so badly. The lust and want in his eyes were so blatant she might have believed he was actually in bed with her. She reached out her hands, gliding them into his silk ink hair, and pulled him down into a passionate kiss.
Suddenly the scene shifted seamlessly and he was on top of her, lavishing her neck and chest with fevered kisses. His hums of pleasure were music to her ears. The crescendo of their passion was created by moans and sighs. Scenes were moving as they do in dreams, disjointed and barely linear. But still delicious to her soul which was starved of his affection. Against her better judgment, Hermione pushed all notions of reality into a far corner of her mind and deep into her library. She would enjoy this specter while she could.
"I've missed you, pet. I've wanted this for so long."
Hermione could almost hear his panting breath as he pressed adoring kisses along her naked body. She mewled out her pleasure as they moved, skin to skin. Blunt nails scratched down the length of his back as she wrapped her legs around his hips, joining them in a primal rhythm. The spicy fresh smell of him, the sound of their love-making, and the taste of his tongue against hers surrounded her in imagined bliss.
"I love you, Hermione."
"Severus!" She keened as her pleasure hit its peak, and she awoke sitting alone in her bed, sweat pouring off her skin. The fog of the dream ebbed away leaving her feeling vulnerable and broken. Agitated and edgy, Hermione abandoned sleep. With a quick spell, she cleaned herself up and dressed. It would be dawn soon.
The dream replayed in her head as she walked the quiet castle. How far and how deeply had she fallen for him? Without the bond, he still resided in a large part of her heart and mind. Even with her simmering rage at what he had done, she could not deny the ardor she carried for him. Hermione had never thought of anyone in such carnal terms, but she yearned for the dream to be a reality.
As she traversed the dark hallways she recalled her fourth year. She had been so shy around Victor. An alcove where he had pulled her for a stolen kiss was now barren and cold. Could she have ever felt so deeply for the Bulgarian? No, she had never felt anything close to her feelings for Severus towards the shy Quidditch player. Hermione couldn't even recall what the boy's kisses felt like. For a fleeting moment, she could almost taste Severus on her lips.
She wanted to feel him. The past year had shown her so many layers to the dark wizard. From his compassion at the tower, his sense of justice and loyalty, and his self-sacrificing nature. In another life, without the burdens that they carried, they would have been a good match. Their intellect and devotion paired with their mutual stubbornness and capacity for love would have melded well. But there was no time for such gratuitous dreaming.
As she turned a corner, she looked into an empty room. A bittersweet smile graced her lips as a memory played before her eyes. How she had cried over Ron and Lavender. A silly crush that would amount to nothing in the end. Harry had been there for her as he sulked over Ginny. The irony that it was Harry that she had cultivated a relationship with didn't escape her. But that too was a doomed infatuation. Severus had pulled her away from Harry long before she ever realized it. Hermione shook he head to rid herself of the adolescent memories and childish problems before continuing her early morning stroll through the castle.
Her feet carried her up staircase after staircase until she found herself in front of the Astronomy tower doors. With a raised brow, she looked around, waiting for someone to appear. But no one did. Her subconscious had wanted to go down memory lane it seemed. By the time she was leaning against the railing, basking in the cool morning breeze, and looking out across the vast grounds, she had gone over every memory of her time there. The most recent of all was another amorous embrace with Severus when she hadn't had all her memories back.
A chuckle found its way out of her mouth, unbidden. Hermione had imagined so many things when she first found out she was a witch but nothing could have prepared her for falling in love with one of her professors. Young Hermione would have balked at all the trouble she had gotten into over the years and how she had gotten away with it all. With her neurotic studying and endless planning, she had always thought she would be prepared for anything life could throw at her. No one could have prepared her for fighting in a war or for losing her parents.
Her grief and exhaustion hit her like a train, stealing her breath and causing a sudden rise in panic. She clutched at her chest, panting as tears pricked at her eyes. Her vision blurred and her hands shook as she lost her composure. Hermione battled her anxiety and panic, gripped the cold steel of the railing, and looked down at the dark, dew-covered grounds below. She counted the trees on the edge of the Forbidden Forest. She hummed along to the sound of birds waking with the promise of dawn. It wasn't good for her to be alone here.
She could jump. He wouldn't be here to save her this time. The panic, pain, and heartache would die with her and her soul would still be forfeit. Harry would still be saved and the war could end in success for the light. It would be so easy to lean too far over the bar and let her weight do the rest. She recalled the moment she had let go of the railing and how the beat of weightlessness felt like flying, only for Severus to interrupt the moment of bliss. Hermione recalled how she found her hair beautiful as it was tousled with the wind, the refreshing bite of the wind once she was no longer sheltered on the tower. It had been so peaceful. With a gasp, she regained control and took a step away from the railing.
Stupid. The final battle was approaching. If she planned to die anyway it might as well be in battle, like a hero, like a true Gryffindor, than a coward. It was a selfish thought, to take her own life after everything that had transpired. Hermione refused to send them off to face the Dark Lord while suffering from the grief of her death. With rough hands, she rubbed away the remains of her tears and turned on her heel. When she had regained her composure her hand found the ring that was disillusioned on a chain around her neck. She needed to talk to Severus.
Hermione hurried down each floor with a building sense of anticipation. They had not spoken directly to each other in over a month. She suddenly felt a long-forgotten bashfulness at the idea of being alone with Severus again. Her juvenile thoughts were interrupted as the castle shook like it had been hit. At the bottom of the stairs on the third floor the deafening sounds of the wards being breached rent the air. A wave of cool magic hit her in the chest as the magic of Hogwarts rose to the challenge. Hermione catapulted herself over banisters and skipped steps. As she made her way to the bottom floor she shirked off the weakness of her roiling feelings and her exhaustion.
When she reached the open doors of the main entrance she could see in the distance, just past the main gates, a swirling horde of wizards pointing their wands at the castle gates as dark creatures protected them. She could barely hear herself think over the sounds of spells making an impact and the warning noises of the wards weakening. The air was hot with magic. Hermione ran, ignoring the prone form of one of her classmates, a Hufflepuff, who was lying on the path, unmoving. With a sweeping motion and all her might, she began funneling magic into the wards and reinforcing them, knowing she could only hold out for so long until others arrived. Over the din of the gathered enemies, Hermione fortified the wards.
"SALVIO HEXIA! PROTEGO TOTALUM! FIANTO DURI!"
Severus's quick eyes took in the scene. His heart skipped a beat as he spotted the familiar form of Hermione heading for the gates already casting reinforcement wards. He could recognize her from a mile away in the middle of a crowd if it had been asked of him. The weeks apart had not diminished his awareness of her. The guilt of their last encounter, when he had turned the tables on her and forced her into a ritual, reared its ugly head. Nights had passed where he had regretted what he had done but by morning he once more believed he did the right thing. Seeing how she rushed headlong into danger without waiting for reinforcements only solidified his desire to protect her no matter the cost. Severus pulled his gaze away from Hermione and onto the path as he moved further into the grounds.
He quelled his panic when he saw the prone form of a student on the ground. His long legs covered the distance quickly and he took a knee next to the felled young wizard, ignoring the dampness of the grass in the early morning air. He recognized him as Justin Finch-Fletchley, a Hufflepuff seventh-year student. With a quick wandless finite the young man sputtered awake. Upon discovering who was looming over him he gasped, reaching for the potions master.
"Professor! My cousin! Renee, she's one of them!" Justin's voice was shaky as he tried to sit up with Severus's help. "We didn't know Professor! I swear it. My uncle and aunt were killed by Death Eaters. My dad and mum took her here for protection. They wouldn't have if they knew!"
"Calm yourself!" He snarled. Severus yanked the boy onto his feet, holding his shoulder steady as the pale Hufflepuff found his bearings. The boy looked sick with guilt causing Severus to spare him his wrath. In a reassuring tone, he continued, "None of that matters right now. Can you make it back to the castle on your own? Go, begin the evacuations!"
The blond boy nodded, then turned on his heel and headed for the castle. While the Potions Master was outwardly projecting calm, internally he was reeling with guilt. He had been the one to escort Finch-Fletchley's family to the castle earlier that week. Severus was ashamed to admit that on more than one occasion he had been less than vigilant when bringing in refugee families as his mind would wander to Hermione causing him to forgo the more complicated detection charms. That day, in particular, Severus had witnessed her improved dueling prowess and also her eventual defeat by Harry. The two Gryffindors had embraced following the duel and it had sent him into a jealous brood. Now his inattention had resulted in a threat entering the castle.
Now was not the time for guilt or self-pity, however. Even from this distance, he could tell that Hermione wouldn't be able to hold the wards up on her own for long. Stubborn girl. Must you be such a Gryffindor? Before he could make his way to Hermione's side at the gates Albus had appeared with the cavalry. Aurors and Professors ran to reinforce the shields and wards. He did not doubt that the Order members were inside preparing the castle and its occupants. If Justin had been swift then the evacuations would be well on their way.
After taking a moment to assess the situation, the headmaster turned to his darker counterpart and solemnly intoned, "Severus. You and I both know the time has come. We have been lying in wait but now we implement all that we have been training for. Return to the castle, alert everyone, and begin all emergency protocols. All refugees and underaged students will evacuate and those willing to fight will head to their posts. Harry must be protected at all costs. The battle-ready should gather in the front hall for direction. Do you understand?"
Severus shoved any extenuating emotions deep behind his occlumency shield. He too knew the plans like the back of his hand but did not snap at the older man. Albus left him and moved toward the gates, his wand already raised and magic rolling off of him. As he strode forth it seemed the very water in the air was charged with electricity. There had been very few moments in his acquaintance with Albus Dumbledore, that he had been able to see the truly powerful wizard that defeated Grindelwald, and this was one of them. The power exuded off of him like a slick humidity making the air grow heavy. There was a feeling that a single spark could light the air on fire. But it was still not as powerful as the wizard once had been. This difference would not be apparent only to the ex-spy. Gone were the days when Dumbledore could defeat a powerful foe on his own. He had to hurry. Severus took one more surreptitious glance at Hermione's fierce form before taking off for the castle.
"Miss Granger," The familiar voice of the headmaster greeted her. Hermione would count this as the only true instance in which she was grateful for the headmaster's appearance. His magic in all its sticky glory rolled over her, undeniably powerful but still uncomfortable to her senses. But a part of her was underwhelmed. If her suspicions were correct, then the curse in his hand had progressed further. He interrupted her train of thought, "Go back to the castle while I and the others hold the wards. You created the plan yourself, so I need not repeat it to you. I trust that you will stay close to Harry until the end. This is what you have been training for!"
Hermione dropped her wand, gasping from the effort of holding the wards singlehandedly. She did not reply to the old man, her only thoughts were the survival of her friends and the man she loved. Around her, the atmosphere sizzled with the sheer amount of magic being thrown at the wards. Aurors moved in practiced movements while the professors chanted, calling upon the magic in the lay lines the grounds were built on. If the stakes were not so dire, she would have been giddy to witness such displays of magic. Instead, she ran back into the castle while pulling a vial of Invigorating Draught from a hidden pocket in her outer robe and downed it. She followed it up with an anti-venom and a vial of Felix Felicis. Confidence and a second wind allowed her to navigate the chaotic front hall in search of her friends.
Adrenaline pumped through her veins and emanated from every student, Order member, and volunteer that she passed. All around her the student soldiers and remaining teachers were attempting to find order. For many who had not seen battle firsthand, she knew it was terrifying. No amount of training could prepare them for the fear of facing their mortality. She stood at the top of the grand staircase, looking down at the horde of people. Some of the students were looking helplessly at the professors for guidance, but they too seemed to be overwhelmed. Others were clinging to their friends, fear evident on their stricken faces.
Through the din of noise, she could hear their doubts.
"I don't think I can do this!"
"My little brother cried when I left him with the fifth years. I don't think I'll ever see him again."
"Do you think we will make it through this?"
"Can you feel it? The magic from the castle and the professors. It's suffocating!"
"What if we lose?"
"Hermione!" Harry's voice called to her, shattering through the onslaught of anxiety. In a moment he was at her side, followed closely by Ron. The three exchanged brief but tight embraces. Marginally, she could feel some of the tension melt from her shoulders. Unlike when she was casting the wards outside, she was no longer alone.
Her eyes scanned her friends who were thankfully both dressed in their protective gear already. Hermione had a grip on both young men, wanting to take comfort in the familiarity for a moment longer. Behind them Ginny and Luna quickly let her know they were going to retrieve the go-bags from the Room of Requirement. Hermione nodded at them and called out a warning to 'be safe'. The panicked conversations and the back-and-forth of students seeking out their friends were resurrecting her anxiety. Latching on to the last tangible topic, she narrowed her focus.
The go-bags were a brilliant idea from Ron inspired by a small bag she carried that had an undetectable extension charm on it. With Flitwick's help, a bag was made for every person who was fighting for the light. Each was filled with leather armor that was spelled with impervious charms, basic healing potions, and a portkey that would take them directly to a safe house where the other evacuees were housed. The bags themselves were small enough to fit in a pocket behind the leather chest pieces. Her thoughts were interrupted when Harry began to update them on the evacuations.
"Snape woke everyone up. Those evacuating and those attending to them should all be gone by now if not finishing up," Harry affirmed as he paused to pull a galleon out of his pocket. Hermione recognized it as one of the coins she had modified. He had to raise his voice to be heard over the increasing volume of the gathered students. "Everyone that was supposed to leave is out of the castle. Snape says he's heading down from the seventh floor.
"Oi! You lot! Get a hold of yourselves!" Ron suddenly called out to a group at the bottom of the stairs. A screaming match and a thrown punch between two seventh-years only increased the confusion and panic. Nearby, Hermione recognized two sixth-years who were clearly in the throes of anxiety attacks. Ron and Harry rushed forward to pull the two seventh-years apart while Hermione tended to the sixth-years, giving them both Calming Draughts from her go-bag that never left her side. She couldn't even hear what Ron and Harry were saying to the boys who had fought.
Chaos was brewing all around them as the high stakes became apparent. With the rest of the Professors outside, the few that remained had very little control over the masses of students. Thinking quickly Hermione ran back up the stairs until she had a full view of the students who had just arrived and the ones that were still coming down the stairs from above. With a quick Sonorus, her voice boomed through the entrance hall. "LISTEN UP!"
Silence came with the shock of her sudden outburst. Harry and Ron both looked at her like she was a bit crazy, but she simply nodded before continuing, to speak to the gathered students. With a hard glare, she looked around the room and said, "Thank you."
As she gazed out over her classmates she discovered that many of them were still in their sleep clothes, having been roused out of bed by the alarms of the wards. They had all been sleeping soundly and now the world was exploding around them. Some of them were crying or looked like they had just recently stopped. Her heart ached for the classmates she had grown up with and the younger students who had come to her for help when she was a prefect and the Head Girl. Couples held each other. One half put on a brave face for their partner. Not all of these lovers would reunite when the sun was back in the sky.
Murmurs began rolling through the crowd as they waited for Hermione to speak. They were hungry for leadership, direction, and anything to direct their nervous energy. She took a deep breath and rolled her shoulders into place, her stance stabilized. Thankfully, her voice did not shake as she implored the crowd of witches and wizards, "We have not been training for two months for everyone to end up panicking when we are most needed! Our home is under attack! Our people are under attack! Your friends and families are counting on us, awaiting the moment when we retrieve them and bring them home! We cannot leave the Professors and the Order of the Phoenix to fight on their own! We will not fall to our knees for Voldemort and make this easy for him! Together we will end his reign of terror!"
Harry and Ron cheered first, followed by the other Gryffindors. Soon the entryway was deafening with the fervor that her words had conjured. This urged her on as she proclaimed, "You know the plan, we have gone over it a hundred times. Everyone has their gear, everyone has their potions, and everyone has their team. Draco and Neville have already begun the transformation of the Great Hall to a field hospital," she gestured to her right where the Great Hall doors were open and the two boys along with Mrs. Malfoy and Madam Pomfrey were already busy at work. From her periphery, she saw Luna, Ginny, and Severus levitating the multitudes of go-bags between them. Her eyes met Severus's for a moment. A millennium seemed to pass in that moment, and so many unspoken words passed between their eyes. He nodded and turned away. Without interrupting he and the two younger girls began passing the bags out to the crowd. More murmuring arose as the go-bags were passed hand-to-hand to the back of the mob.
"Quidditch teams!" Hermione roared. She ignored the ache in her chest at the sight of the Potions Master. There was a loud cheer from her left, "Remember the protective enchantments on your uniforms and equipment can't withstand too much direct damage so keep your shields up! Head to the towers, you know where to go! When you hear the signal and only when you hear the signal you take off! Groups of 5 on the offensive. Remember if you are signaled then your teams are authorized to maim or kill!" There was a chorus of salutations as the groups headed off while summoning their gear to follow them. Harry and Ron were assisting in passing out the go-bags. There was shuffling and murmuring rising in the crowd as people began changing into their gear using magic.
"Retrieval Team!" She yelled. A group of younger female students, flanked by much larger sixth-year were called to attention. "No heroics from you lot. Find and retrieve the injured and fallen and remember the rules of triage. Rotate which half is out on the field as it will be emotionally taxing. Most of all, stay safe, even if it means having to leave someone behind who cannot be saved. Stay back until Madam Pomfrey or Mrs. Malfoy give you your orders!"
"Defensive Unit!" She hollered over the excited and apprehensive murmurs. A group of the best charms students came forward, fully prepared with wands at the ready. "Join the Professors now! Remember two for every adult. We must keep our most experienced duelists in the fight for as long as possible. I do not expect most of you to be able to kill a Death Eater without remorse, but you can make sure those who are trained to will have the opening. Throw shielding charms up for others only if it will not make you or your partners vulnerable."
The group nodded and then jogged out of the open doors.
Hermione looked at the large group of remaining students. She finished off her orders, "E-Team and D-Team, support and protect the medical team and the Great Hall. If any retrieval teams need an assist be there for them. Raise the wards on the staircase. If any death eaters manage to get past the doors we want them to have a hard time reaching the rest of the castle. C-Team and B-Team, you lot are our largest contingencies, help wherever you are needed but your main objective is defense. Cover the north and west sides of the castle. They may be focusing on the south main gate and the east side because of the forest but they may switch tactics. Be prepared and use your patronus to alert team leaders if that should come to pass. They cannot make it into this castle!"
There were yells of agreement as the various teams maneuvered around. Adrenaline muted her hearing as she watched her orders being followed. Pride welled up in her as her contemporaries stepped into their roles. There were distant bangs and yells as the main wards finally gave. Through the front doors, she could see their comrades falling back behind the secondary wards that had already been erected. A smirk graced her face when she noticed McGonagall directing the castle statues to fortify the defense.
"That leaves the A-Team, I believe Miss Granger." Dumbledore declared. He stood at the threshold, a sheen of sweat on his forehead but not looking any worse for wear. The twinkle in his eye was a surprise. For a moment Hermione could have sworn she saw a hint of approval on the Headmaster's face. Behind him, she could still see and hear the other capable witches and wizards holding the wards and getting into formation.
She ignored him and turned to her friends. She avoided Severus's gaze and looked around at Ginny, Harry, Ron, Remus, and Sirius. Hermione lowered her voice and concluded, "A-Team our objective is to kill the snake and keep Harry alive so that he can face Voldemort at the right time. No pulling punches. Every spell you can think of. Every defense you can muster. Each of you has the anti-venom, Invigoration Draught, and Felix. Take the anti-venom now and the others when you feel it is most necessary. I've put a basilisk fang in each of your bags. There is a high likelihood that we will be separated but if you can help it, stay in pairs. Even an experienced Death Eater would have difficulty against two opponents instead of one."
With that said she turned away, pulling out her gear, assuming the others would be doing the same. With a wave of her hand, she was dressed in a fitted uniform with a dragonhide chest plate that matched the leather on her forearms, thighs, and calves. She went to work braiding her hair. Behind her, she could hear the others doing the same.
They had been able to get the dragonhide armor through Charlie. With its magic-resistant qualities, it was the best choice for war. With such a small supply of it, they had kept the armor for the A-Team who had turned into a tactical response team throughout their preparations. It was unspoken, but everyone there had personal unfinished business with a Death Eater. Hermione did not doubt that once the team was scattered, the pairs would be working to take down Tom's most staunch supporters. When everything was fastened she turned back to the group only to look straight into a familiar, black-clad, chest.
Watching her command the battalion of students was a sight to behold. She was Athena incarnate. Mars would ride to battle with her. Kartikeya would make her a queen from this moment alone. As capable as she was, Severus knew he would not be able to protect Harry if he was worried for Hermione's well-being.
When she stepped away from the group to dress, and while the others were minding their own business, Severus approached her. Each step took a herculean effort as his body warred with his mind, already feeling guilt over what he was about to do. As she braided her hair, her familiar warm scent wafted toward him. How he had missed her. He longed to thread his fingers through her curls and pull her to his body. Existing without the bond had been the most trying time of his life. Impressive when you consider what he had been through in his nearly 40 years. Hermione tied off the braid and threw it over her shoulder before tucking in her go-bag and turning straight into him.
There was a moment of hesitation as her golden eyes met his onyx orbs, then he wrapped his arms around her, and with a loud crack, he apparated. The moment their feet were on stable ground she shoved him away from her. Her wand pointed at his face. Severus pushed aside the wave of fear that came with a wand so close to him with an angry woman behind it.
"You bastard." She ground out as she kept her wand pointed at him while her eyes darted around the room. He had taken her to his office. It was the only place in the castle where he could set the wards he had in mind. Severus took her in, committing every detail to his memory. The moment she relaxed, realizing he wasn't going to retaliate, was the opening he needed. In one movement he gripped her wrist and twisted it painfully so that her wand clattered to the floor. Severus pushed her into an empty chair and banished her wand. A wave of nausea came over him as guilt reared its head.
Without missing a beat she launched herself at him. Her petite form did very little against his much taller and much stronger body. Severus held her by the wrists and thrust her back into the chair. He hissed quickly, "Stay down! Or I will tie you up!"
She panted but stayed where she was, glaring at him. Severus took a deep breath and leaned against the front of his desk. He gripped the edge of the oaken furniture with a white knuckle grip, ashamed at his shaking hands. Were it not for their battle garb, it would have looked like a normal conversation between student and professor. Both of them let the silence stretch to uncomfortable lengths.
"Why did you bring me here?" Hermione finally asked, her eyes boring into him.
"Did you take an Invigorating Draught after you started the ward reinforcement?" He inquired, ignoring her question but not meeting her sharp gaze.
"Of course I did," She snapped, "Don't ignore the question. Why the hell are we in your office?"
"Have you already taken your Felix Felicis? There are spares if needed. I should actually let Harry know that. He needs the luck more than any of us." Severus continued, looking just past her face.
"Dammit, Severus!" Hermione stood, hair sparking with magic. She had never looked so beautiful. The need propelled him to take a few steps toward her, but he stopped before he was within reach. She would let him curse him with every horrible name and word in every language if she would just stay where she was.
Severus murmured, overwhelmed by the chaotic mix of feelings in his chest. "Are you well? The ritual was taxing. I didn't feel close to normal until a week or two after."
"No! You complete arse! I am not well, but that doesn't exactly matter now does it?" She snarled at him. The venom in her voice felt like a stab to the heart. She tried to shove him but he grabbed her by the wrist, only furthering her anger. Hermione struggled against him, beating his chest with her fists. "Let me go you git!"
"Will you just stop for one second!" He seethed, pushing her hard against the front of his desk, shoving the heavy piece of furniture back half a meter. Her wince at his force made him release her.
"How dare you?" She stood tall and defiant between him and his desk, rubbing at her wrists, "Give me back my wand. Tom and his army are literally on our doorstep but you want to play keep away with my wand? You've been avoiding me all this time and now you want to play games? What the hell is wrong with you?!"
"Shut up Hermione!" He snapped, his magic flared out and an entire shelf of potion jars exploded with the sound of shattered glass and spilled liquid. Severus's voice softened in defeat, "Please stop fighting me."
"Why? What more do you need to do to me?" Hermione challenged, "Wasn't it enough that you drugged me and broke our bond? Did you want to monitor my training progress?" She scoffed then continued, prodding his chest with her index finger, "Do I have to submit a proposal on how I'm going to help kill Tom? Why can't you just trust that I know what I'm doing and I don't need or want your help!"
"I'm not questioning your abilities, Hermione." Severus tried to reason with her, grabbing her wrist to stop her jabbing.
"Then tell me why the FUCK I'M DOWN HERE!" She screeched as she once more tried to hit him.
"I NEEDED TO SEE YOU!" He bellowed, his chest heaving. Severus released his grip on her wrist and felt nausea rise as he saw the red marks he left behind. He took a step back waiting for her to attack him again.
There was no immediate response. He almost chuckled at the realization that he had rendered her speechless. Severus's breath was shaky as he inhaled. Unsure what to do with his hands, he played with the ring on his finger.
"This is it, Hermione. W-we may not make it through this night and I-I needed to have you in my arms one last time. There is no guarantee that we will all survive. Consider this a final request." He confessed as his eyes burned with raw emotion. The former spy did not have it in him to be embarrassed by the wet sound of his words or the way his voice cracked and stuttered. Then he heard a sniffle and the soft sound of a strangled sob.
"You're still wearing it?" Hermione said, her voice cracking as she took his hand in a firm grip. Her fingers caressed the dark ring he had been fondling. With her free hand, she pulled a chain from around her neck, showing him her matching ring. She sniffled as she murmured, "I thought you would have taken it off since we didn't need it anymore."
"Never. I'll always need you," He replied. His hands shook as he gently cupped the dangling ring. Then suddenly she was in his arms, holding him tightly to her and muffling her cries against his shoulder. Severus ran his hand comfortingly down her back, "I'm sorry, Hermione. I'm so sorry. I took the choice away from you but you have to understand. I vowed to protect you. I can't let you die. I couldn't that first night on the tower and I cannot now."
Hermione wept. After weeks of her stoicism and the comments of those close to them about her cold demeanor and how ruthless she had become, it was a relief to hear the outpouring of fragile emotion. When she collected herself enough she spoke. Her voice felt like a stab to the heart. It was rough from the tears and a touch nasally from her weeping. "You left me. Severus we promised. Until the end. Why did you leave me?"
"Believe me when I say that I never meant to or wanted to. God Hermione, breaking our bond was the biggest mistake of my life and the hardest decision I have ever had to make," He cupped her cheeks, raising her face to him, "But I cannot regret it. I can't bear the thought of you dying for me or because of me. I will not lie to you and say I haven't missed it. I have. I miss the hot fire of your magic. I miss how my veins seemed to sing when we were near each other. I miss being able to reach out and feel you reach back. I thought it would be easier to do this if you hate me."
"To do this?" Her brow furrowed and he quelled the desire to kiss it smooth. "What are you talking about?"
His thumbs caressed her cheekbones as he met her golden gaze. "I love you, Hermione Granger. As daft as I am for doing so, I cannot deny that any life I am allowed to live would only be worth it if I had a single chance of having you by my side. You beautiful, stubborn, fierce Valkyrie who has saved me in so many ways. From these golden curls," he tugged at one next to her ear, "to the edge of your magic. Everything about you has enthralled me. When you took the mark and filled my torn soul with your magic, I became beholden to you in every way that matters. But it is so painful to love you, Hermione."
Hermione who was close to tears again and had been looking up at him adoringly, "Severus, what are you saying?"
"Do you love me, Hermione?" He asked, holding her waist, relishing the softness and delicacy of her body contrasting with the firm form of the leather armor. "I imagine that the suffering I feel by loving you would be very similar to the suffering someone would experience if they had loved me while I still bore the mark. If I still had the blight of the Dark Mark, I would be walking into this battle knowing I would not make it out alive. I would not even try to survive."
"Don't say that! We promised we would make it until the end!" She protested. But he silenced her with a brush of his lips.
"We did make a promise to make it to the end. But you aren't going to make it. You ask me to survive, you beg me to use the bond, and you insist upon throwing your life away to save mine." His voice grew harsh as his emotions overwhelmed him. She tried to pull away but he held her close. "Our bond would have killed you to keep me alive. You would doom me to that guilt?"
"You broke the bond! I wanted to make sure you lived through this because you deserve it! After all that you've done for us for so long. Don't you want a chance to live your life completely free? Free to do anything you want?" Hermione pushed against his chest as if to emphasize her point. "You could quit teaching! You could go back to researching potions and patent all the ones you've created. What is so hard about wanting to live?"
Severus couldn't stop the mirthless laugh that burst forth from his lips. "Why don't you tell me, Hermione? 'What is so hard about wanting to live?' Of the two of us, you're the one who will be nothing but a shell if your body even survives! You want me to live but I refuse to live in a world without you. What life could I have when my heart and soul would be buried in the ground with you?"
He could see shame, guilt, and love flashing back and forth on her face and in her honey gaze. She sank into his embrace again and wrapped her arms around his torso, hugging him firmly against herself. Severus's hands hovered over her back before he wrapped her in his arms, wishing the layers of armor and thick cloth between them would disappear. For once, Severus wanted to shirk his responsibilities, lock himself in his chambers, and worship a woman at his leisure. But the distant sound of an explosion on the castle grounds reminded him of his objective.
"I do love you, Severus Snape. I love you so much." Her voice cracked as she sobbed. However, with that admission, Severus's mind was made. He tilted her chin up to him and kissed her. Tears mingled with the passionate meeting of lips. Long fingers carded through his hair as she nipped at his lip, softly whispering his name each time she took a breath. Severus let his hands glide up from her hips to her ribs, guiding her gently until her back hit one of the stone walls with a soft thud. When she gasped his tongue slipped past her luscious lips to caress against hers.
Without thinking he shoved his thigh between hers and pinned her arms to the wall behind her, entwining their hands. He reveled in the soft moans and gasps as they plundered each other's mouths. The soft feel of her curves against his as she arched against him brought such unmitigated joy that he could conjure a hundred patronus this very moment.
Another explosion, somewhere far off. She couldn't hear it, not with the special wards he had placed. He placed feather-light kisses on her cheeks, temples, and forehead. The trust she had in him was apparent in how she closed her eyes while under his control. Once more he captured her lips in a soul-deep kiss, unable to stop another tear from falling. When they parted the faint taste of salt was still present.
"Severus," Her voice was dazed, her chest heaving with need. But he stepped away. He watched as her mind caught up with what was happening. The lust melted away into confusion. Confusion was then followed by betrayal. "No! Release me!"
"We are doing this for your own good. Forgive me." The guilt on the ex-spy's face was a shadow on his features. Gone was the adoration and passion, replaced with resignation and finally cold determination. She was stuck to the wall by her wrists with a powerful binding charm.
"Severus! You bastard! You complete arse!" She screamed and kicked. Her words did not hurt him. "You can't just lock me away! I should be up there fighting with everyone! What good am I if I don't!?"
That final statement felt like a stab in his heart. He raised the athame to his palm and sliced it, watching the blood well up for a moment before he placed his palm against his office doors. "You may never know the value you hold, Hermione. But the rest of us do. Harry and I especially."
"Did Harry tell you to do this?" Hermione's voice was low and tinged with frustration.
"It was a mutual decision." His voice had returned to the even tone that his students knew so well.
"I hate you both." She retorted
"And we both love you." With those parting words, he shut the door to his office, implementing the new blood wards, and ran up the stairs. At the grand entrance, Harry was waiting for him.
"She hates us doesn't she?" The younger man asked, turning away to look at the slowly disintegrating shields that their comrades were fighting to keep up.
"Entirely." Severus's reply was short and blunt. "None of us die tonight."
Harry looked at him again and nodded. "None of us die tonight."
Together in their black combat gear and hoods, they ventured forth just as the shields came down. The air was thick with the smoke and ozone that so many spells left in their wake. The signal to the flyers sounded and to their left was the horn of the centaurs who were coming to Hogwarts' aid. If the aerial team had been implemented then the numbers they had projected for the Dark Lord's fleet would have been an underestimation. Gone were the hopes to maim and capture.
Then the air exploded as spells began flying and creatures from both sides raced forth to meet in the wide grounds of the castle. The snap of gaping maws and the growls of feral beasts joined the cacophony of shouted spells and exclamations of both triumph and failure. In the distance he spotted the Dark Lord, striding slowly through the gates, far behind his front line. Harry met his eyes when he turned and then nodded at him. They had their target.
Draco was doing his best to stay calm as the injured were carried into the Great Hall. Already there were casualties and disfigurements. But the culmination of the war was still being fought on the grounds and the field hospital was running smoothly. He had to admit that as insane as the initial idea was to train all the students, it was working out in their favor. Neville and he had come out on top when it came to learning from Madame Pomfrey and his mother. This had resulted in them somewhat at the helm of the hospital as his mother and Pomfrey dealt with the worst of the worst.
The air in the Great Hall was metallic with the smell of blood. The herbal smell of potions and poultices mingled between the confined. Already he had patched up the minorly wounded a dozen times over and they returned to the field. The tears and screams of pain no longer phased him. As he healed a deep cut on a sixth-year Ravenclaw whose name he could not remember, he heard Luna call out for him. When he turned to the doors he found Luna levitating his father into the Great Hall with one of his arms missing. The gore didn't register above the fear of the little boy inside him as he ran to his father's side.
"Father!" His voice cracked with grief. His mother was at his side with little preamble as Luna set him on the bed. Draco could see his mother push back her feelings and move into her professional mindset. She quickly assessed the wound and administered aid. No other words were spoken as Luna assisted them in treating the Malfoy patriarch through their grief and tears. Thankfully, once the bleeding was stopped they discovered that he was otherwise uninjured. Growing back a whole limb would be difficult without the original part. Draco turned to the Ravenclaw he had reluctantly called his friend, but with now whom he owed a great debt. "Thank you for bringing him here, Luna. His arm, did you see it?"
"I wasn't the one who found him. Harry and Severus brought him to the doors before going back out. They make a wonderful team," She replied softly. Draco felt a moment of relief knowing that his godfather and Harry were at least still out there fighting. Luna hummed softly as she pushed the blond hair from his father's face. The effect was instantaneous. Draco felt lighter, his grief ebbing away and his tired muscles reinvigorated. Before he could comment, his father's eyes opened.
"D-Draco," His voice was rough, lacking his practiced austere quality, but he didn't seem to be in any overt pain. Draco called over his mother who had moved on to help one of the aurors. He allowed himself a moment to bask in the luck that had kept them all alive thus far. But he knew that the battle was far from over.
After taking a moment to share their familial love, Draco felt his arm being tugged on. Raising a brow at Luna, who hadn't gone back out to help the retrieval team, he excused himself. He nodded to his mother who seemed to nod back in permission. Draco loathed to leave the Great Hall when there was so much still to do, but something told him to follow Luna, for she had never led him astray. He followed her lead until they stood at the threshold between the Great Hall and the main entrance.
"What is it?" Draco asked, not liking the slight frown on the younger girl's face.
"Harry and Severus brought your father back," She responded, her ice-blue eyes meeting him.
"You already told me that Luna. I heard from one of the aurors that Ginny and Ron were fighting the Lestranges along with their brothers. Black and Lupin were dealing with some of the werewolves last I heard. McGonagall called on the castle statues somehow and Dumbledore was rallying some of the aurors." He rattled off the information he had gleaned from those coming off the field.
"It was just Harry and Severus, Draco," Luna said solemnly.
Realization hit him like a bludger to the head, "Hermione. Hermione wasn't with them but she would have never left their side."
"It may seem obvious but I have a feeling Harry and Severus may have done something stupid to protect her. Stubborn cows, as Ginny calls them." Luna speculated. "Let's start in the dungeons. The obvious choice is usually the right one."
"I won't argue with that. Let's go." As they rushed down the stairs into the dungeon hallways he snorted, "Those idiots. When this war is over she's going to kick their asses."
"I didn't think you would help me find her," Luna said, surprising Draco.
"Why the hell not?" He stopped mid-stride looking utterly confused.
Luna eyed him and then continued, "I thought you would think they did the right thing. Keeping her away from the fight."
"Unlike the Bonded Trio, I believe in allowing someone a choice, not making it for them. Harry is my friend and I care about Uncle dearly. But Hermione needs to fight. I don't want her hurt, but I know that not fighting would break something in her. She needs to be needed. A part of her still blames herself for her parents' deaths, and this mad bid to win the war for the side of the light is her form of atonement." His shoulders drooped as he extolled his ponderings over Hermione's actions. Draco was interrupted by a loud crash. The floor seemed to rumble like the castle had been hit with something. Draco pulled Luna along as the battle up above raged louder.
They turned a corner and then could hear the distinct sound of Hermione's voice. Angry screaming and the fire of Hermione's magic grew as they moved further down the hall. When they approached the office door it was glowing slightly.
"She's trying to break his wards," Luna whispered.
Draco stepped forward and touched the bloody rune on the door. "The traditional ones are gone, and it's obvious that she's taken down any silencing charms. But this tells me he placed blood wards. Snape has to give permission. I could probably summon home with a patronus but there is no guarantee that he would come."
Luna ignored him, instead placing her hand on the still-damp rune. He watched in fascination as she dug her nails into the wood of the door. What looked like cracks with light bursting from them began to spread along the wood of the door from the center of her palm, forming a circle with runes he didn't recognize.
Draco suddenly felt like the pressure of the air itself had multiplied by a thousand. He was forced to his knees and wondered how Luna was still standing. There was a distinct sensation of his lungs ceasing their movement but he did not feel the expected struggle to inhale. When he looked up at Luna her eyes glowed white, she was bracing her forearm as she held her hand to the door and her hair was whipping around her like Medusa and her snakes. Draco would have been terrified if he didn't trust Luna so completely.
The black circle melted back into her palm, turning her hand black. Luna muttered a word he couldn't hear when the pressure around him broke and the door creaked open. He gasped, expecting the strain of his lungs' need for oxygen. When the door opened wide enough Hermione stood on the other side with confusion on her face until she realized who was there.
"Thank you!" Hermione hurriedly told them as she rushed by at top speed. Before Draco could protest or get any answers Luna suddenly fainted in his arms. Pushing away his confusion, he lifted Luna and rushed back to the Great Hall. He ignored the shriveled remains of Luna's hand.
A/N How did I do?