AN: So I was writing the story Watching, Listening, and Feeling when I got this idea. It might be little OOC, but this is season 2 Tommy when he's trying to figure things out and doesn't go that great the first night. I did change the ending from how had planned with Buck making an appearance so hope you like the change up. Hope I captured the banter right too between Hen, Howie and Tommy. This would be about a few weeks or month before Buck transfers in.

AN2: I finished this story the same day I watched the movie Nightshade with Lou in it. OMG it was freaking hilarious even though it's like a thriller/supernatural thing. Be warned for the ending of things not working out for Ben who's a detective. I guessed halfway through who was behind the things. The lie detector test, the wire in the shrinks office, and swimming pool at beginning and near end were some my favorite parts. So glad that I watched even if hated the ending I loved the movie itself. His acting was so fucking good. I'll definitely watch again. So glad a friend talked me into watching it even though ending sucked with what happens to him, but he got free of the horrible wife. Which side note on that fact that's the third time he's played in show or movie where the wife was in on something or did something. S.W.A.T Rocker's wife, then NCIS LA his character Vincent (think that's right name) and Nightshade. I seriously think he's definitely better with Buck. (or Eddie when got him as Rocker in the stories) and those Bummie stories I write with Buck Tommy Eddie. Sorry for rant, now on with the story. There are questions at the end.

Summary: Tommy just wanted to have a little fun, dance with few guys at a club. He's finally accepting himself, but it doesn't go well. So, he calls a friend for help after he gets drugged.

Title: Kind Of Need Some Help

Tommy felt dizzy and like he was going to be sick. It was not a good thing at all since he wasn't at home. He'd managed to get to the bathroom before he lost the contents of his stomach. He hadn't even had anything except the water and one beer minus the food from earlier. The beer he'd watched the bartender open because he knew the rules. He was a first responder and two of his friends were paramedic. So yes, he knew how things could go with drinks in a bar. It wasn't just that either, he'd heard stuff too. It wasn't that he hadn't thought it couldn't happen, but he hadn't seen it coming.

He'd been dancing with a few different guys. He had also kissed a couple of them. There had been the one that backed him up against a wall and started whispering in his ear what he wanted to do to him. When he'd tried opening his pants up he had stopped it and walked away. He had not been looking for sex tonight. He was for sure not going to be tied down to a bed and fucked until he passed out. The last one had offered him a drink. He'd only agreed on his terms which meant being at the bar to get it himself.

He'd planned on leaving because it was near eleven and he just wanted to go home. He'd had fun, but it wasn't about hooking up tonight. He only wanted to have a little fun and dance with a few guys. He'd taken his phone out to arrange for the ride home. The guy had started talking to him. He wasn't even sure how they had gotten started on classic cars, but he hadn't gotten out of there. He'd finished the beer and said he had to go. It had been nice, but he made up an excuse. It wasn't exactly a lie he was meeting a friend for breakfast in the morning.

The guy had grabbed hold of him, but he'd easily pulled away. It was when he'd started feeling sick and stumbled. He'd gotten his phone and went towards the bathrooms. He'd thankfully lost the guy in the crowd because that was the last thing he needed. The asshole had done something, he'd had to of. He had basic training that all firefighters got to help in the field. He also had training from the army even if he hadn't been a medic. He'd helped Hen and Howie out a more than a few times when they'd needed another set of hands in the back of the ambo. He'd driven it for them if they were both needed. He'd heard them a few times when they'd had a call out to a bar or club. A few overdoses on drugs or a roofie in someone's drink. It was why he'd gone to the bathroom and thrown up. He had to get it out of his system if he could.

He still didn't feel good though and it was not a good idea for him to stand up. Everything was spinning so he closed his eyes for a moment before he took his phone out. There was only one person that knew he was gay. He'd been coming to terms with it the last two years. He just hadn't started going towards guys until tonight. He'd finally gotten tired of hiding it in a box. It was just his luck that the first time he did go out he got slipped something. He could hear the ringing on the other end before it was finally picked up. He wasn't sure how to start this conversation.

"Hey, if I give you an address you think you can come get me?" Tommy asked. "I wouldn't ask, but it's about what we talked about last week. You're the only one that knows." He was hoping that it wouldn't be a no.

"Yeah." Chimney replied. "You have one too many, man?" He joked hearing the slight slur in Tommy's voice. He must have cut lose some which might be a good thing.

"No, I had one beer." Tommy responded before giving Howie the address. "I'm not going to the ER either and you are a paramedic. I'm pretty sure I got dosed."

"Give me ten minutes." Chimney said almost forgetting that he wasn't alone in the apartment. Hen was there and how the hell he'd kept this secret he didn't know, but if he was going to be maybe fighting some asshole he needed some back up. "Don't freak out when I get there. I swear I didn't tell, but I'm bringing back up. She's not going not judge. Plus, you are going be dead weight."

"The bathrooms are off to the left in the back." Tommy said trying not to start the freaking out process of who the hell Howie was bringing. He said she and he was hoping to god it wasn't the new girlfriend he had. The woman was clueless and there was no way on earth she was going be able to help move him. He also didn't like her for his friend, but he didn't want to hurt Howie's feelings.

~911 911 911 911~

"Am I now allowed to ask what's going on and who was on the phone?" Hen asked. She'd follow her best friend anywhere without any questions asked. She just hadn't been expecting it to be inside of a gay club. She was trying to figure who they might know that was gay, minus her and Karen. "Chim, you've been on edge all week. Now we're in a gay club." He was more or less almost dragging her through the crowd.

"I'm shit for keeping secrets, but this isn't my secret, but someone called me needing help. I can't exactly throw them over my shoulder and carry them out of here. I mean I can, but someone might think I'm kidnapping him and call the cops. It's why he called me, he doesn't want anyone to know it happened. He's probably already spinning out that I said I was bringing someone with me." Chimney said in a rush of words without taking a breath.

"Okay, but by the time we get where we're going I'm going to have to know unless you plan on putting a blind fold on me." Hen said. "I don't think that would help though." She wasn't going to tell her best friend she had worn one before with Karen. They did have an adventurous sex life at times.

"You'll see in a moment." Chimney said pushing the bathroom door open. "Don't read him the riot act okay. I think he's still coming to terms with this after years of denying it." It was pretty much the words that Tommy had told him the week before. "Hey we're here." He said knocking on the last door. The others had been empty.

The sound of the lock turning was almost loud since the bathroom blocked out the sound from the club. It was probably not a good thing if someone was being hurt in here. Though with the music going no one was going to hear either way. He'd managed to move next to the door after throwing up again. He still hadn't opened his eyes though because when he did he felt like he was going to throw up again. He had to have an empty stomach by now, but it was churning. It hadn't been since that incident of the stomach flu that he'd felt this sick. He'd been trying to block everything out and focus on not getting sick. He hadn't heard Howie til he'd been right at the door. He'd have to yell at his self later for that stupid move. Someone else could have come in.

"You can bitch at me later, just help me get out of here." Tommy said.

"Tommy." Hen said moving in front of Chimney before he could get in the stall door. She had suspected for a while, but never brought it up. She just hadn't except this. "Hey, how you feeling right now." She didn't have her bag with her, but she still took hold of his wrist checking his pulse.

"Worse than huffing gas." Tommy replied trying to make a joke, but it wasn't working. "Should have figured he'd bring you."

"Well, she was at my apartment." Chimney said. "You look about the same as when I carried you out the mall." He added.

"We should take you to the ER." Hen said. "They can…" She started.

"No, they'll ask what happened. I have helped you two with patients to the hospital before, they'd know who I am. I can't go there. They'd want to call the cops too. I called the best paramedic I know, who brought the one that ties for best. I trust you two, no one else." Tommy knew he was practically begging them. He hoped they'd listen.

"If you can't get off this floor then I'll lie. I'll say you drank my drink that was spiked." Hen said. She could tell he didn't want anyone knowing. She got it too, a guy getting a date rape drug in a gay club would have people talking. It was supposed to be against the law to talk about medical stuff, but it happened. Gossip could travel fast. "You two were out with me blowing off steam. Some woman sent a drink over and I didn't want the drink so you drank it." It could work and she could sell it.

"Let's try getting him up before we start planning the rest of the story out." Chimney said. "Though that is a good story on what went down. I told you she wouldn't judge." He smiled even though Tommy had his eyes closed again.

"I'm going to try and forget this ever happened, but yeah the story would work." Tommy said. "Okay, help me up, I think I can… oh I need the toilet. Think I'm going be sick again." His stomach was rolling after he'd opened his eyes.

Howie and Hen got on either side of him and it didn't take but a moment before he was hurling again. He came close to hitting his head on the side of it, but Hen put her hand over his forehead to block it. It didn't feel that great, but at least it wasn't a full-on direct blow to the toilet. That would have for sure had him seeing a doctor tonight. After getting it out of him with his friends help, he managed to stand up. It took another few minutes but he got to the sink area. It was slightly strange that no one had come in while they'd been in here. It became clear why after he washed his mouth out. Hen or Howie had locked the door. It took some time, but they got to the vehicle.

"I'll try and avoid the potholes." Chimney said started the vehicle before he pulled off. "Should be at your place in no time."

"No way, we're taking him to my house. I got a bag there and can keep an eye on him tonight." Hen said. "Karen's at her brother's tonight with Denny. It's why I was hanging out with Chim. If you're still there when she gets home we can say the three of us had few too many." She offered.

"Your wife's awesome. Glad you two worked it out. I still can't believe Howie told her you were dead, so she didn't leave." Tommy said.

"Well, I thought she was dead for a moment. I couldn't even find a pulse on her. I lost it thinking she was." Chimney said.

His best friend had been buried under the damn rubble. It was scary as hell and he was glad that the sweat had hidden the fact he was crying. He knew Tommy had known the truth though, that it wasn't only sweat on his face. Tommy had been the one that got him to stop panicking. He hadn't missed the fear on their friend's face though. That was how bad it had been. They'd been alone on that side of the area. Help hadn't been able to get to them. Hen had shouted for them to move. He'd thought she'd been right behind him. Tommy had covered him from the falling beam that had come down after the floor had collapsed. Then they'd started digging to get to Hen. They'd taken turns doing CPR after calling for help.

Help hadn't heard them because the radios weren't picking up in the area. The fire had been getting too close after they'd gotten her back. The hose they'd had with them had too much debris on it to be useful. He still didn't remember how they got out of there. He'd thought he was losing his best friend. So when he'd called Karen that day he'd put what he'd felt into that conversation in saying that Hen was dead. Tommy had said he was nuts for doing it. Said that he shouldn't put anyone through that kind of hell even for a moment. He'd seen the reasoning sure, but he'd gone with it in the end. Tommy wasn't wrong, Karen was awesome.

"At least the damn mother fucking bastard had already been transferred out. The fucker would have used it to get me out of there in fucking heartbeat." Hen spat out.

"There's no cure for him, but he's gone. Preparation H wouldn't even fix him, unless you drown him in it." Tommy said. "Even then he'd need some battery acid too."

"Oh my god, you're the one that put that in the complaint?." Hen asked. She'd figured that Tommy, Sal, and Chimney had complained about Gerrard. She'd thought it was Chimney that said that line.

"You're damn good firefighter and paramedic. Was too damn scared to say it to his face so I filed the complaint instead. I wasn't sure how to describe it and it was the first thing that came to mind. Though I might have wanted to put that he should have been tied to a pole and flogged like in the olden days for every mother fucking piece of shit word that came out of his god awful mouth against us. Just fucking sorry never stood up for you two. You should have hated me."

"Damn, I mean you have been a jerk in the past, but never thought there was a violent bone in you." Chimney said. "I get why you didn't, Tommy. I don't hate you, neither does Hen. When it mattered you stepped up. Took almost dying that first time to break through that stubborn head, but you changed."

"Chim's right. I saw you that day that I gave the speech. You kept looking at me and when said something near the end you looked like you were giving Gerrard a death stare when you turned. It's when I started suspecting you weren't all that you seemed. Maybe you were taking the speech personally." Hen said. "Then the next day you and Sal said I was good instead of lucky."

"I've thrown punches before, but not in years. I got a really long fuse, but reached the end of it. Was punch the holy hell out of the bastard and lose my job or take the other way out. He should have been fired." Tommy said, he'd wanted him fired not fucking transferred. "Are we there yet because I'm starting to feel sick again."

"We're here now so don't puke. You're not wrong though. Battery acid would be good. Maybe we should have egged his house or something." Chimney offered turning the vehicle off. "Though flogging is a good idea, but I really don't want see him naked."

"God, don't say eggs. Or make me have the image of him naked, man that's just wrong." Tommy groaned at both those images.

Hen and Chimney got Tommy inside after a round of dry heaving and nothing coming up. Hen got him in the guest room with water. He really thought he was going to puke drinking the whole glass. He felt like hell and an idiot for not keeping a better eye on the beer. He kept running it over in his mind how he hadn't seen it. Unless the bartender had done it, but he'd watched him too. The part that sucked was that someone else could have it done to them. He probably wasn't the first target.

He didn't want to go to the hospital, but he wasn't sure if he could just go without saying something. He couldn't let it happen to someone else if they didn't know the guy was doing it. He let out a groan because he was trying to be better. He'd gone to bat for Hen when it mattered. The part that freaked him out was someone finding out and getting back to their former captain. He'd lived in hell for so long and he was finally getting free.

He doubted he'd be going out to a club again. He wasn't going to try any app either. He'd probably die alone and miserable. He'd already thought about that once, years ago. It was why he'd said his head had been clearer in the locker room when he came back to work. He'd felt so damn alone hearing all the fucking slurs trying to hide how much it hurt. He was in his thirties. He didn't want to keep being alone.

"Hey, Chim, can you get him some Tylenol and more water?" Hen asked.

"Sure." Chimney said before he left the room. He had a feeling it was something to get him out of there, but he didn't say anything.

"It won't always be like this, Tommy." Hen said. "Tonight sucked, but you can't give up. You never met my ex-girlfriend, but she was who I thought I deserved for a long time. Then I met Karen thanks to Chim setting us up. It was touch and go and almost lost her for good. You're going to find someone one day that will make tonight's hell worth it. I don't know how long, but you can't let tonight send you back into hiding. You're not the same guy from two years ago, hell seven years ago. I don't think the one that Chim first met would have been brave enough to file that complaint. It's fine if you're still scared. Even though I got Karen and Denny at times I'm scared too. Running into burning buildings people call us brave and heroes. It is sure, but coming out, that's a lot more courageous. Living the life that you want and asking for help is too."

"I actually thought it would been better if I'd died, not tonight, years ago. Still felt like a part of me was being crushed. Even though he's gone I can still fucking hear him. The insults, the put downs. So far Captain Nash has been great, the family dinner thing is pretty cool. I just keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. That this is some dream and I'll walk in there one day and he'll fucking be back. I don't know what to do with that feeling." Tommy admitted. He left out that he'd sometimes laid in his bed and cried because he wasn't brave enough to stand up to the bastard. Knew those words would be said to him if the truth was known.

It was the most honest conversation he'd had. He hadn't told Howie all that, he'd just said he was gay last week. Which the response had been okay, you want another beer. Though there was a card that he'd found in his locker with the words Do Not Open At Work written on them. Howie had given him a happy coming out card. Hearing Hen's words had him close to breaking. He hadn't had anyone to care this much. He didn't get close to anyone trying to protect himself, but that had gotten blown to hell years ago when Howie saved his ass, then Hen joining the 118.

"Have you thought about transferring. We'd miss you like hell because you're damn good too, but if you feel like this." Hen sighed. "If you feel this haunted at the 118, you should find a new home. A place you can be free to be who you are and not have to hide. You said you used to be a pilot in the army. Maybe talk to Cap, see if there are openings at harbor for air ops." Hen offered as a solution. "He did get Sal transferred out to a new place instead of firing him. I'd rather us lose a great firefighter to another house than get that call you're dead because you feel this broken. Maybe try talking to a therapist, not the bitch either. There's a new guy, Frank. I saw him after the accident on the job." She said.

"I'll think about it. You figured the word out I couldn't come up with. I am haunted by his fucking memory." Tommy sighed. He wouldn't mind flying again. He still did on his days off for fun. "You think Sergeant Grant would take the report, try to handle it without telling the whole world?" Tommy asked.

He'd seen her more than once at the badge and ladder bar. Hen had invited her to have drinks with them a few times too. She seemed alright and he'd run into the other two that Hen was friends with another time. A support group was what Hen had called it. He wasn't looking to join, he wasn't there yet, maybe one day he'd be comfortable in his own skin. He couldn't let tonight go even if it sucked like hell. If the sergeant did then he could go through with it. He'd rather stay anonymous instead of putting his name on something official, but the idea of someone not being able to have friends to help didn't sit well. He wasn't going to let someone else be a victim even if at first he'd not wanted to do anything but come home. His head wasn't as fogged up now, still hurt, but he knew he wasn't staying quiet this fucking time.

"She's on duty tonight, I can give her a call. Try get some sleep for little. You're going to be okay. Talk to Cap next shift too. Cap's good people, he could have kicked Sal out for good, but he found him a better fit. Who knows maybe you'll find the guy you're meant to be with because you transfer out. A firefighter that can fly helicopters is cool." Hen said with a smile.

"I think you're cool too. Maybe one day you'll run the whole fire department. Show the fucker he was wrong." Tommy smiled back. "If Howie becomes a captain watch his back. I got a feeling he would give everyone hell if he could get away with it and they might try murder him. We can't let him get killed."

"Oh, you mean like when Cap put him in charge of drills the other week. Even I was ready to murder him and I love him." Hen said with a laugh.

"You two are supposed to be on my side. Cap didn't complain, he was out there doing the drills too." Chimney said coming back in the room.

"Yeah and he said if he had the idea of putting you in charge of drills again to remind him of that moment. You called us weak cry babies that needed their mommies." Hen said. "I mean damn you had Tommy almost puking and he's in good shape."

"Yeah, but he didn't puke unlike that sub we had that day for Collins. That guy lost his lunch and then had to go home." Chimney said shaking his head. "So, we know who the tougher ones are. You and I didn't get sick and neither did Cap or Tommy." He smiled.

"Never again are you going to be in charge of drills." Hen said. "Now, you drink this and we're going in yonder. I'll wake you when she gets here." Hen said the first part to Chimney and the other to Tommy.

"Who's coming here?" Chimney asked. "He likes guys not girls, though I don't think he should be doing anything until the drugs get out of his system." He added. "Maybe I could set him up with someone, I did pretty good with you and Karen." Chimney said with a huge smile and a nod. "Yeah, that's what I'll do. I'll get you married off too. I'd have a second arranged marriage under my belt." He rubbed his hands together at the idea

"You are not setting me up, again. Do you not remember how badly that went last time?" Tommy asked. "She was fucking stalking me after that first meeting and I didn't even go on a date with her." She had been creepy as fuck too.

"Well I didn't have all the information. This time I'll make sure that it's a guy. So do you want skinny one or someone with muscles that can take you? Maybe you like being pinned down by someone stronger than you are? Handcuffed to the bed and let the guy have all the control?" Chimney asked. "Or do you want to be the one bending them over stuff?" He added to the question. "I can take notes. We know you're a hopeless romantic. So that's a start." Tommy's favorite movie was Love Actually.

"Chim, stop talking. Go in yonder." Hen said turning her best friend around. "We know you mean well, but it's too soon to be asking him that or ever." She started pushing Chimney out of the room.

Tommy groaned rolling over so he was faced down on the bed. He was not about to tell Howie that he'd been partly right. He might end up being tied down and killed by the guy that he tried setting him up with the way his luck was going though. Sleep would work and maybe he wouldn't feel like shit or mortified. He wasn't about to let his guard down ever to let someone top him. After tonight he'd be the one on top.

~911 911 911~

~Years Later~

Buck was looking down at Tommy moving his hands over his boyfriend's shoulders. He followed the length of Tommy's arms to where his wrists were at. There was this look in Tommy's eyes. He leaned down kissing him while sliding his hands up farther locking their fingers together. He wanted to try something, but wasn't sure if he should ask. Tommy was always in control, he wasn't sure where it came from, but he wanted to show him how good it could be too.

"You trust me, baby?" Buck asked. "I want to try something, but only if you want to." He added.

They'd been going out for six months now and he wanted to know what it felt like to be the one giving. He wanted Tommy to know what felt like to be on the receiving end. They'd talked about a lot of stuff in those six months. He was happy and they'd already admitted their feelings for the other. Most the time he was staying at Tommy's place. He moved his hands over Tommy's sides leaning down kissing him. The moan that came from his boyfriend turned him on even more. One of his hands loosely stroking Tommy's cock. He moved so his mouth was against Tommy's ear. He was close enough the soft whisper could be heard. He wanted to watch him fall apart. He wanted to take him apart. He wanted to use the straps that they'd gotten for himself on Tommy. He wanted to have all the control, but only if Tommy wanted that.

"Yes, you know I trust you, Evan." Tommy replied looking at his boyfriend.

The promise he'd made to himself years ago had always held, until now. Until Evan broke every wall down. Evan was the only one he had trusted this much to even think about what was being asked. He felt the straps go around his wrists after another minute. He could probably break free if he needed to, but he wouldn't. Evan wasn't going to hurt him. The only thing that would was if this was a dream he woke up from.

~THE END~

Thanks in advance for reviews and kudos. I know it's different from my usual, but the idea came to me and needed to write it out.

Questions for my lovely readers.

One would anyone be opposed to a foursome? Eddie, Rocker, Tommy, and Buck? I know might be odd to ask here since Tommy's an only child in this story, but it's for a future story might ask and I'm posting this now.

The second question is that I have in the past wrote twin and brother cest (twincest mostly) Like in teen wolf with Ethan and Aiden I was thinking about one of Rocker/Tommy) Which could possibly relate to the foursome too. However, I kinda have an idea for a Tommy/Rocker story before they ever met Eddie/Buck.