Riza knows…

She knows she must get up. Stand on her own two feet. She's been ordered to, after all.

To… Reach for him.

To go to him and help him…

She tries to. Her body refuses to cooperate, though. If she could just rise onto one elbow, at least, to simply to prove she can –

It's impossible.

It's a futile effort. There's too much pain radiating from her neck. Her entire body trembles and it appears it's too much for her limbs and her brain to even consider doing anything else other than lying here and trying to survive, as best it can.

But he looks so helpless sitting there. Watching her.

Restrained.

Tortured eyes meet hers.

They jolt her mind into wanting – needing – action, but it cannot be done. Not in her current, injured state. There is simply no way.

There's also a screwed-up face, as if the pain is so great it can no longer exist within his being. It threatens to burst forth. To consume him and everything around him. To raze it all to the ground, simply because this tragedy has occurred. To her.

It's an unbelievable thought. Incredible, really. How could anyone feel such a way towards her? Riza thinks. Her, a forgotten child and one of the most successful snipers. From Ishval.

But Riza can hear it in his voice. The way he screams – genuinely screams. She's never heard such desperation in his, or anyone's, voice before. As he yells his revenge, what he would do to them, for submitting her to this fate.

His eyes blaze like the fire he's able to create with his hands –

Hands which have killed. Slaughtered.

Hands which have kept her safe. Made her feel protected. Loved.

Cherished.

Her feelings towards her Colonel have always been complicated and messy. Imperfect. Flawed. It's something she had struggled to come to terms with. Him, too.

They weren't perfect – far from it. They strayed. Gave into their baser instincts. Two monsters coming together and finding… comfort? Something, together. Something to… Something to give them some kind of human connection. Something separate from all the atoning they are still required to do.

But…

If she falls now, Riza thinks, what will happen?

To him? To the future they strived to build, together?

From the crack in her Colonel's voice, logically, Riza can determine that it would ruin him. The loss of her would cause him to crumble, and how would he proceed then, after it?

Riza sucks in a breath. It causes her whole body to convulse and heave as it tries to accommodate her request in its injured state. The jerking movements draws her Colonel's attention, and his head whips around to look at her.

His dark eyes, wide with fear, meet hers. He's terrified. Scared of losing her – and losing her in this way. Butchered by the enemy just to satisfy their needs.

She was to become another pawn in their plan.

She's already been one, Riza has learned. They both have. In the war. They were soldiers, a means to an end for a grand, nefarious plan. Disregarded as collateral – but they still did it. Still followed orders. A poor excuse when they didn't know any better.

She has to get up. To fight them after all they did and all they subjected them to.

…

Her body is so tired.

Her eyes droop. The image of her Colonel blurs and splits into two, three, as he calls to her. Demands her to open her eyes and look at him.

I am, she wants to say. To cry out.

It's unlike her – the composed, professional soldier. But desperate, dire, times, call for unexpected reactions and measures.

Regardless of her wishes, there's no longer any extra breath in her lungs to do anything other than suck in breaths and weakly call to him. Its probably so quiet it doesn't even reach him.

The realisation is heartbreaking.

Still, she tries. Tries to make that connection. To speak to him and reassure that it will be all right. She'll be okay. However, her body is solely focussed on fighting to keep her body alive.

But, where else would she look, other than him, while she was fading?

(It's always been him.)

"Lieutenant!"

Her heart aches as her vision blurs for the final time.

But he's with her, though. Here and now. That's something. Anything. More than she would ever deserve, she supposes.

The sight of him straining towards her, reaching for her, although he can't, is burned into her retinas and her mind. She will never be able to forget it. No matter how long she lives now – minutes, hours – the image will never leave her. The pain which wracks his body, the torture in his face and eyes, at the thought of losing her, will follow Riza forever.

It's unbelievable, really. She's always known where she stands with her Colonel, but his reaction… It makes her want to force her eyes to open. To move her body to stand on its own two feet to rise and greet him. To reassure him – her love – that she is all right. That she will be okay.

(A picture flashes in her mind. She's standing over him as he is – restrained in the tunnels under Central Command – and she cups his cheek and smiles at him. Tells him, "everything will be all right", and "I love you". And he says those precious three words back to her.)

Riza has never heard anything more beautiful in her life.

But it's just… Everything has faded into darkness now, so she can't quite tell.

They never did manage to reach each other, in the end.

The world goes quiet, muting Roy's calls to her, consumed with despair, for the final time.

an: been thinking some Thots aka the later fma live action could've been so sexy for royai but alas alas...! insert me hehe mayhaps i'll continue this and do a part two, after the healing hehe

also what if i did a roy's pov to this scene too tho... thinking!!! thinking even more thoughts!!!!!

kind reviews are always much appreciated 3

if u want to chat about royai (or see me ramble more and holler over my faves) feel free to visit me on tumblr at @fullmetalscullyy or twitter at @fullmetalscully