Disclaimer: I haven't done this in a hot minute. I think I'm redoing this fic. I tried it before, and I wasn't sure how I really liked it. Now I want to try again.
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"I don't know what you see in Mamoru, Usagi."
"What?!"
"I said I don't know what you see in Mamoru!" Rei says louder much to her annoyance. She loves dancing and loud music, but this DJ is playing the music extra loud.
Usagi looks around as more people hurry to the dance floor as a catchy loud blared through the speakers. She just wished Rei would go dance and stop interrupting her fantasies about Mamoru with insults.
That was their favorite go to line when it came to Mamoru Chiba, the object of Usagi's desires.
"Rei, don't be mean." Usagi chides loudly, shooting her a haughty look in return before she focuses her baby blues back on the man across the room, leaning against the wall and talking to his friends. She's had a crush on him since 9th grade when they bumped into each other in the school hallway.
Rei shrugs not fully hearing what Usagi said and returns to her cup of lemonade. There were several chairs around the table, they picked one closer to the dance floor than most. Rei sat across from Usagi and Ami sits somewhere between them.
Ami sighs and picks up her cup of lemonade, "Rei, give it a rest. She's going to be goo-goo eyed over him."
Usagi snaps her head toward her blunette friend and pouts, "Why are you both so mean!?" Clearly, she heard Ami's statement. She crosses her arms and leans back in her chair.
Rei grins, "We are just stating facts, Usa."
"I'm allowed to have a crush on whoever." Usagi defends herself and sticks her tongue out defiantly.
Serena tried her best not to want Mamoru. She constantly tried avoiding him at school when possible. That didn't work as he found her and her friends sitting in the cafeteria during second period lunch. Odango Atama seems to be his favorite go to insult and she in return called him a 'baka.'
Tonight, their school was hosting the annual spring dance right before graduation in two weeks. The gym is decorated in streamers across the ceiling, a designated dance floor with strobe lighting, tables all around and a few picture booth areas for those wanting to commemorate the evening. The lighting fixtures are minimal, fairy lights along the tables and multi color lights adorning the walls all around. There were several different flower arrangements around the gym.
Usagi insisted that they attend despite her underlying reasons being the man in question. She didn't believe her friends really blamed her. She knew the chances of Mamoru noticing her were slim, but she hoped he did. Rei and Ami attempted to be supportive but they both believed that Mamoru didn't see Usagi. They believe he sees her as a verbal punching bag he can toy with until someone else comes along and snatches him away.
Despite not feeling supportive, they found Usagi a pale pink dress, straps laying on the bend of her shoulders with a two layered skirt flaring out just a bit. Usagi's hair was pulled back in a half bun atop her head with silver lace streaming down. Regardless of Usagi's protests, Rei managed to apply a bit of mascara and cool toned eyeshadow across her eyelids.
Rei chose a form fitting strapless black dress with sequin red trimming and let her hair flow freely as usual. She lined her violet eyes with charcoal black liner.
Ami preferred an A-line knee length crystal blue dress with icy blue straps. She curled her short blue hair with a styling wand to get bigger waves instead of tight curls.
"He isn't coming over here." Rei complains letting her head roll back slowly, regretting decisions that led them here tonight.
"Actually Rei, he is." Ami states quirking an eyebrow curiously. Usagi stiffens in her chair and turns to look in any direction except for the direction that he is walking toward them. "It took him about 45 minutes."
"Ami!" Usagi hisses quietly as she nudges her. "He will hear you."
"And?" Rei snorts. "Let him insult me, I'll-"
"Excuse me."
The girls stopped their chatter as they were interrupted by Mamoru and his entourage. Two other men joined him. Jadeite and Zoicite, loyal friends of his. Usagi's breathing hitches as her eyes meet Mamoru's, never breaking contact. Not yet.
Rei couldn't stop staring at Jadeite, short blonde hair curling at the ends away from his eyes. He's dressed as sharply as the other two men in trousers and a white shirt but with the addition of a navy vest overtop.
Ami, on the other hand smiles sweetly at Zoicite, another blonde but his hair is tied back but dressed similar to Jadeite. He isn't wearing a vest but instead has the sleeves of his dress shirt rolled up to his elbows. He winks at Ami.
Last but not least is Mamoru himself. The collar of his white shirt undone a few buttons, ebony hair disheveled perfectly, if that is a thing. Those cobalt eyes of his locked onto Serena's baby blue eyes.
"Ladies." Jadeite greets smoothly and nods at each of them. "Rei, is it?"
Rei opens her mouth, but words fail her, and she nods. Where had this man been all school year? She knew for a fact she's never seen him about the school.
"May I have this dance?" He proceeds to ask.
Usagi's eyes break from Mamoru's, and she grins coyly and turns to look at Rei with a knowing look. "Well Rei, can he have this dance?" Ami giggles at their friendly antics.
"Hush bun head!" Rei hisses with a glare before turning to Jadeite and standing, "Of course." They watch as Jadeite leads Rei to the floor as the faster pace music slows down. Other couples rush to the floor as well.
"And you miss Ami?" Zoicite asks with some hesitation. Ami, the sweet and shy, turns her gaze to the young man standing and her smile widens as she stands up. She wastes no time. She's had her eye on Zoicite since January when he moved into her chemistry class.
"I'd love to."
They're all dancing. Usagi's chest constricts as she ponders if this was staged. It is too good to be true. After all, she's now alone with the object of he desires and there isn't an audience. She swallows the lump forming in her throat and sits a bit straighter in her seat.
Mamoru decides to take a seat he plucks and sits beside Usagi. He offers her a hesitant smile of his own and turns to watch their friends on the dance floor. Great, he made it this far and he's not making further moves.
Usagi takes notice of him, he reaches up to smooth his hair back out of his eyes, even if for a second or two before it falls back into place and the bead of sweat of forming.
"I'm so glad he decided to ask Ami to dance." She says finally, hoping to break him out of that nervousness. Talking usually brings people out their funk.
"Believe it or not, Zoicite has been interested in her for a while. He's just been too stubborn to approach her." Mamoru answers, a slight hitch in his usual baritone voice.
"Really?" Usagi asks curiously. He nods.
"Your other friend, has he been into Rei as well?"
"He just saw her tonight. He's been into studying all year and tonight was the first time I think he's noticed a female."
"Ah, that makes sense. I suppose I can't fault him for wanting to perform well in school." Usagi says as she turns her focus back to the dance floor.
Mamoru notices her gaze is back on the dance floor and doesn't speak again. He just watches her as his hands become clammy. He grits his teeth as he feels the anxiety building up.
Usagi turns herself away from the dance floor and back to Mamoru, not realizing the anxiety behind the cool demeanor he puts on. "What do you want to do when you leave high school?" She asks.
"Uh...I have that internship with your father."
That blasted internship. She could never understand why he took the damn thing. What was he trying to prove? Mamoru wanted to learn all he could learn, sure. She never took him as someone who wanted to run a business. Not to mention, this isn't exactly how Usagi imagined her evening with Mamoru going. She is still hopeful he asks her to dance.
"You want to work for my father at that stuffy business?"
Mamoru feels his face turn red and smiles. "Your father teaches me a lot about running a business. I haven't exactly hated it."
Usagi nods, understanding but at the same time she knows the reality of what it takes to run a business and what one gives up. She was barely four when Kenji took over the publishing business. There were nights that she wondered if her parents would divorce because he came home late half the time. There was never a time when their family had to wonder if they could afford buy groceries like so many others during that time.
"I don't know, Usagi. I still have next year to figure it out." Mamoru looks down once more and goes silent.
He isn't asking me to dance.
She looks down at her hands and begins fidgeting nervously. Did he just come over here to sit and chat about the future? What is a girl to do now? This isn't how she saw the evening going at all.
"What do you want to do with your life?" He asks.
"I thought about practicing law, but I don't know. I'm not saying I'm not smart enough or anything, but it seems like a lot more work and schooling. I think I could be happy being a photographer if I wanted to. I'd like to have a family someday. That is really what I want."
"You're just as undecided as me." Mamoru chuckles. "At least you've thought about what is important to you."
"You don't want a family someday?"
"I might. My parents died when I was young, so I wasn't brought up knowing what a family really entails. I might screw up." He looks away from her and down at his own feet, a dark feeling overtaking him.
"I think every man is afraid of screwing up." Usagi says lightly hoping to change the mood. She knows it isn't her place, but she can't stand seeing him this way. A familiar slow song begins playing and Usagi takes a deep breath, she gathers every bit of courage and smiles at him as she asks, "Do you want to dance?"
The hairs on Mamoru's neck stand at attention and he looks up meeting her warm smile. How did she manage to beat him to it? Did he get so hung up on conversing he forgot why he walked over here? It didn't matter, she asked him. That meant something right?
He stands first and extends his hand out, "That was my line."
The smile on Usagi's face grows and she places her hand in his, allowing him to pull her to her feet and lead them out on the dance floor with everyone else.
Usagi sits at the table, twisting a strand of her hair around her finger and staring out the window at the falling snow. Her mind was elsewhere instead of on the empty plate and empty cup setting in front of her. She also didn't notice when her mother entered the room with her arms crossed. "Usagi, stop daydreaming!"
It has been four months since she was last home. Her family was happy, and they were celebrating Ikuko's birthday.
Her child home set in the middle of the subdivision enclosed with a fence. There are three bedrooms and two bathrooms located between the two floors of the home. Usagi has a younger brother away at college, so his room is sparsely decorated.
The blonde jumps out of her skin at the quick, loud words directed at her. Ikuko hasn't changed with age. Her hair is still lavender and flowing down her backside. She isn't wearing her usual apron and long skirt today. She's fitted herself into jeans and a sweater.
"Sorry, mother."
Ikuko shakes her head disapproving of her daughter's actions. "Your father's been in the hospital after a heart attack and you're daydreaming. You should be getting dressed to go visit." She turns around and leaves Usagi on her own before returning to tell her, "I'm going to the grocery store to pick up a few things. Don't wait on me to get back. Go see him."
She nods, understanding her marching orders and stands to take her plate and cup to the sink to rinse and hurries back toward the foyer and stairs. She didn't catch a midnight flight just to sit and stare out the window all morning.
Ikuko called Usagi two days ago and warned her of her father's health problems. Usagi couldn't just up and leave without asking for a few days off. No matter how much her supervisor liked her, she couldn't just let her go without proper procedures being followed. Usagi acted like a mad woman getting a flight booked and getting home.
She hesitated this morning when she heard which hospital her dad was taken to for treatment. So many memories echoed through her head from the past. If she went to the hospital she'd see Mamoru again. She wasn't ready to see him again. The anxiety of seeing him overwhelmed her. It would be a disaster and she'd probably end up being escorted outside.
Usagi's room was once pink and frilly. Much like any young girl dreamed of. As she got older, the frills were replaced with sensible decor and she repainted the walls a different color but kept the pink sheets on her bed. Her desk is opposite of her bed and closet. She squats down to her suitcase placed along the wall opposite the front window and pulls out a sweater dress and leggings and other items before walking back out to the bathroom down the hall. Her thoughts are still centered around Mamoru Chiba.
She's had several years to replay that last night over and over again. Eventually she stopped because she moved away and there were no reminders of him anywhere. She kept in contact with Ami. Ami did mention once that she worked in the same hospital as Mamoru. She never gave it a thought, until now. Now that she's back home, there were reminders everywhere, including a photograph her father framed in his study at home. Kenji had the photo taken right before Mamoru graduated and decided to attend medical school.
Of all the hospitals, they had to ambulate him to the one she never wanted to enter. "I fucking hate that place." She mutters as she turns the shower on.
It was true once upon a time that Mamoru Chiba was the only man that Usagi had eyes for. She spent hours wondering why he insulted her when they crossed paths and wondering why he couldn't see she as anything else. That night after the dance, he asked her if she'd go out with him. Everything was perfect. Until it wasn't. There finally came a day when Mamoru meant less to her than the earth she walked on. It had only taken a few words one evening. Usagi sobers up in the shower and hurries to clean up. She doesn't want to revisit those memories.
She steps out and reaches for her towel to wrap around her and then another towel to wrap her hair in to avoid getting the floor wet and slipping. She then opens the door and hurries back down the hall to her bedroom and reaches for her phone and dials a number. There was only person she could call who would know if the bane of her existence has a shift today and what time that shift begins.
"Hello?" The person on the other end picks up.
"Ami?"
"Hi Usagi. Are you stopping by the hospital today?"
Even her friends knew about her father's condition. She sits down on the bed and sighs loudly, "I do. Um...is Mamoru working today?"
"Still trying to avoid him?"
"Like my life depends on it."
"Serena, that isn't healthy."
"His vile voice isn't healthy either." Usagi retorts coldly as she leans back on her bed. Ami knew how she felt about him.
"I'm not sure what his schedule is. This week was crazy. We've had two collisions and a few gunshot wound victims in the ER. Mamoru isn't an ER doctor."
"Of course he isn't." She mutters.
"I have to go, Usagi. Another ambulance is coming in. If you're around later today, we can meet up at the Crown Parlor Shoppe?"
"Sure!" Usagi says smiling. The Crown was their favorite place to hang out, Motoki often gave Usagi free refills seeing that she kept the place in business with her sizable appetite for french fries and milkshakes. However, Motoki is also one of Mamoru's best friends. Motoki took over managing the place a few years ago. Everyone loves him. Usagi drops the towel and pulls on her clothes and hurries downstairs where she calls a taxi to come pick her up.
She walks into the lobby and cringes. There was a main desk where the receptionists sat and then there was another desk opposite, she believed it to be one of the nurse's stations on the first floor. Hospitals are definitely sterile and not inviting.
Beyond the lobby there is hallway which leads to stairwell and elevators and other rooms.
She walks over to the receptionist and smiles at her, "Can you tell me which floor is cardio?"
The woman looks up once and the back at the computer monitor before clicking her tongue against her teeth. "Third floor."
"Thanks."
Usagi hurries off in search of the elevators down the hall.
"Mamoru looks good today."
She stops as she overhears the statement and turns toward the nurse's station. There are three women standing in green scrubs. They're holding clipboards and ink pens. The one who is talking is sitting down, her brown hair twigged back with an ink pen, and she is grinning while the others giggle.
"Anne! He isn't going to go out with you."
"He told you he isn't interested."
"He will be. Just you wait and see."
Anne, huh? Usagi sizes her up from her vantage point, she doesn't look like Mamoru's type. Anne looks tired and no amount of makeup will bring her youth back. Not that Serena ever wore much makeup, she never needed to. Maybe Anne is exactly what Mamoru needs. She might be good for him.
One of the nurses realizes they're being watched and turns to face Usagi. "Excuse me, can we help you?" She asks quirking an eyebrow with attitude. The other women stop giggling and turn toward Usagi as well. Anne looks up and tilts her head questioningly at Usagi. The other nurse continues, "Do you have something you want to say?"
Usagi nods and walks off; she didn't come to be bothered by silly nurses or intrusive thoughts of Mamoru. It seems she can't escape his presence. She stops in front of the elevator and presses the button and waits quietly. So far, she hasn't seen anyone she knows, and she'd like to keep it that way.
"Usagi?"
She balls her hands into fists and closes her eyes shut tightly. No way.
"Shit." She mutters but doesn't turn around. She knows that baritone voice anywhere. It hasn't changed very much. This is what she wanted to avoid.
He doesn't hesitate to walk over to her and steps in front of her. When she opens her eyes, they meet his and she sees concern, shock, guilt, all of it written on his handsome face. She doesn't say a word to him, just watches as he looks her over. He doesn't look like he's slept in ages. He's dressed in scrubs and a white coat, much like she's seen doctors on Grey's Anatomy wear. A stethoscope is hanging around his neck as well.
"Mamoru." She finally manages to say.
"You're here to see your father, aren't you?"
"I'm not here to see you." She answers dryly.
He winces, good. She knows she struck a nerve with him. She peeps around him to see where the elevator is, hoping to escape this unwanted encounter.
"Mamoru!"
Both turn to see none other than Anne hurrying down the hallway toward them. For once, Usagi thanks her luck for someone pining over him. Mamoru cringes and mutters a few cusswords under his breath. Anne stops beside them and her smile twists differently, "Do you two know each other?"
"Hardly. I'm here to see my father." Usagi answers quickly. "He was admitted on the cardiac unit after being treated for a heart attack."
"Oh okay." Anne's smile untwists, Usagi swears, and she turns toward Mamoru. "Do you want to have lunch today?"
Very brazen of this woman.
"Anne, we are colleagues. I told that even if we weren't I'm not interested." Mamoru emphasizes his lack of interest while keeping an eye on Usagi.
Something about the way he speaks to Anne irks Usagi and she knows she shouldn't say anything, but she can't resist. "Anne if you want his attention try insulting him. He's got a kink for women who aren't easy and eager."
Two sets of eyes land on her, one pair confused and the other pair belonging to a man who isn't amused with her antics.
"Excuse me?" Anne asks looking between them again. "I thought you said you hardly knew him?"
"From what I observed just now, he doesn't want to be chased. You're chasing. Try playing hard to get."
"You are something else." Usagi chuckles dryly. "Anne, this is Usagi. We went to high school together."
Anne's eyes glaze over as she continues looking between them. "Oh, I see."
Usagi rolls her eyes, realizing this damn elevator may not be working. It is taking an awful time to come down from the tenth floor. "We weren't friends or anything. I just noticed he is what the Bridgerton women would call a rake."
"Really? A rake?" Mamoru crosses his arms. "I can't believe you learned big words." He was inwardly cheering, falling back into old habits with Usagi felt natural. He supposed he understood why she felt the way she felt. He had been an asshole, but he wanted to talk to her and fix things between them.
"Asshole. Is that better?" Usagi asks, sidestepping Mamoru to push the button again and look around the hall to see if they had an audience yet. Thankfully they were being ignored.
Anne's curiosity peaked at that point and her shoulders shrugged. What she observed between these two was something she decided she wanted no part of. She could tell there was history. "I'm just going to go find Doctor Sewell and check on some patients." She says excusing herself and walking past them to the stairwell.
Usagi watches her leave, disappointed that she stopped so quickly. "I think you scared her off."
"Usagi."
"Why weren't you interested in her? She obviously wants you."
The man pursed his lips, feeling a vein bulge on his forehead. "As I said, I'm not interested in her."
"What a shame. She might've been good for you."
"I don't want to talk about her."
"She seems like she'd listen and be obedient."
"Usagi, can you shut the fuck up and listen to me!?" Mamoru hisses, grabbing her arm and pulling her in close. She steadies herself against him with a hand, glaring at him, heart pounding against her chest. She's somewhat surprised by his actions, but not entirely. From the semi shocked expression on his face, he can't believe he done it either. His grip on her arms loosens, "I didn't mean to grab you like that."
"Was I ranting?"
"It - Usa, please don't."
She searches her memory for the words he said that day to her. He watches her hoping she doesn't remember. Hell, he doesn't want to remember. "Oh, that is right. You told me that ranting made me unattractive. That was the gut punch." Usagi says, venom evident. Mamoru closes his eyes and turns his head away from her. "Can't stand to hear your own words?"
"I screwed up."
"You did. If you don't mind, I need to go see my dad." She says pushing herself away as the elevator doors open. She walks around him, not looking back yet she feels those cobalt eyes on her. She doesn't care if he's haunted. Let him be, he hurt her feelings beyond repair. She's been carrying these feelings for a very long time.