Author's Note: Thank you very much for your lovely reviews last chapter. They really do keep me going. This chapter is dedicated to Camilla (ovejalucifer). Thanks to this fic she has become a dear friend of mine. I promised her a while back that if she could think of a good first and then construct the basic idea for the chapter with me I'd write it for her. While it was disguised as a bribe to get her caught up with reviews I would have done it anyway. The good news is the timing for this chapter turned out really well with what else is going on. I hope you all find it okay. Please read, review, and enjoy!

Disclaimer: Clearly I don't own Sherlock. The show is the baby of Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss, while Sherlock Holmes itself is the creation of Arthur Conan Doyle.

The First Time She Felt The Age Gap

Anthea, having been at the office so far that day all by herself, had been texting Jamie and James all morning. She'd been trying to get any information she could out of Jamie about this 'starting a family' business, and her and James had been sending each other selfies. Anthea sent him one of her looking bored at her desk. He answered with a picture of him in a car with Carol driving in the background. She then sent him one of her coffee. He sent one of a few pigeons crowding around a kid. She didn't even want to know what he was supposed to be doing. The next one she received from him was a bird flying away.

She was distracted from her little photo game with James from her computer sounding with the alert of an important email. Finally, she had something to do that would hopefully not lead to more paperwork. When she saw it was from Mycroft she wondered if she'd get something fun to do. She also wondered where he was. He hadn't contacted her all morning, and while he seemed distracted yesterday he hadn't said anything to her.

Anthea, dear.

Would you kindly free up my schedule a week from Friday? You may have the day off also.

- M.H.

Anthea bit her bottom lip. The beginning was so much like a private message to her but the actual content of the email was very formal. It was strange and only created more questions in her mind. Why would he be having a day off and not tell his assistant (or girlfriend) why. She couldn't express this the way she wanted too, not in email. He might not have mentioned it purely because he didn't want a record of it. So she typed out her response carefully.

M,

Certainly sir, consider it done. I don't require a day off, I can keep an eye on the office for at least half the day if that would assist you in some way.

- A.

After she hit send Anthea turned around and picked up her phone once again. Ignoring the new texts she'd received from her friends, Anthea clicked on Mycroft's number.

What's next Friday? – A x.

She put the phone down on the desk and tapped her fingers on the wood as she waited for a reply. She received one, but not the one she wanted. Anthea opened her emails.

Anthea,

That would be very helpful. Thank you for your diligence and help.

- M.H.

Anthea clenched her jaw and turned to watch her phone…

Any moment now.

…

Ping.

She picked it up before the notification noise had stopped.

It's nothing, dear – M.

Anthea quirked an eyebrow as she read over it again.

Does it have to do with where you are now? Are you planning to have me killed? – A x.

She found a humorous way to say that it was never nothing with him. In this line of work, in this type of life, everything was important. Mycroft and Anthea had been acting a little off since she'd not wanted to move into his house. They'd been a little more independent than usual but before this it hadn't effected work in the slightest. Not to mention he'd been a little weird lately anyway, something different. If Mycroft didn't tell Anthea she could only jump to conclusions. He'd get her point though. She could only hope he'd listen to her and tell her.

No, nothing quite as extreme, I'm afraid. – M.H.

Anthea took a breath. Not quite what she wanted. She was trying to think of a way to convince him when he phone chimed once more. It seemed he'd only hesitated and maybe this would be her actual answer.

I have a minor procedure on that Friday. Given my importance health issues must be dealt with right away rather than placing me on a waiting list. – M.H.

Anthea's throat shut tight. She couldn't breath and she was about one hundred percent sure that it was her heart that was blocking her throat. It had tried to jump out of her body at those words in that text message. Procedure? Health issue? How could he not tell her something like this? How could he just skip past it? How could he go to his consultation without her? Without telling her? Surely she'd done nothing to be excluded, he certainly didn't. Her fingers now not obeying her quite correctly, Anthea fumbled to answer her apparently ill boyfriend.

Are you at a hospital? What procedure? Why didn't you tell me?

She forgot to sign her name.

Mycroft was wise and answered quickly.

Breathe, Anthea. Yes, I'm at a hospital. Nothing serious has happened. I have a cataract. Middle age, my dear. It's all part of growing old. – M.H. x.

Look at that stupid kiss. Look at that well timed kiss. He always did that.

You're so lucky you're not dying. – A x.

A cataract operation wasn't much, it wasn't even that long. To Mycroft it wouldn't have seemed like a big deal, but to Anthea any operation was a big deal. She could understand why he didn't bother to tell her but now she knew, Anthea was going to make sure she found out every detail possible. It also meant he would probably need glasses for either driving or reading.

Oh well, middle age like he said.

And yet.

That last part was stuck in her brain.

It's all part of growing old.

It echoed in her brain as if she had actually heard Mycroft speak it. Mycroft was, getting older that is, he'd said a similar thing to his brother recently. This was obviously nothing new, and nothing Anthea was ever concerned about before. But now.

Getting older came with health complications and issues. Getting older is a state of decaying that will eventually lead to death. Men tended to die younger than women anyway, but Mycroft Holmes was ten years older than Anthea Clarke. It was almost a guarantee that he was going to die before her. If she moved in with him, set up a life that was just the two of them eventually Anthea would find herself all alone again. She'd be alone in that stupid big empty house that would feel even emptier without Mycroft in it. Sherlock wouldn't visit her, and he was a little older than her too, but only by three years. John was older than her, even James by a couple of years.

Anthea was in her early twenties when they met. Late teens and early twenties always feel invincible. They thought they couldn't die and that no one around them would die. Turns out realising this wasn't true was all a part of growing up as opposed to growing old. Though Sherlock clearly thought he was still somewhat invincible. Maybe he was, maybe it was a Holmsian super power…

Let's face it. Mycroft fought hard to keep his weight down, he was prone to migraines, and he has a number of injuries that could possibly affect him in the future. He wasn't going to last forever, he wasn't immortal. The man would die like anyone else. He'd die long before Anthea and if she followed this path she'd be left alone. But that wasn't what scared her, the idea of finding herself alone. Anthea had been alone before and could do it again. What scared Anthea was the idea of spending from five up to twenty years without her sarcastic, witty, intelligent friend. To go years without a snarky text message, to never hear that piano being played when he thought he was alone, to never heard Sherlock and Mycroft argue again. To not roll her eyes at John while they did this.

Anthea's whole word had been constructed around this man and it wasn't looking good. Part of her told her that it was good she'd not moved in, that it was time to start distancing herself from a man who would not be around her forever. She was better off alone forever than to find herself suddenly alone again. Another part of her wanted to hug Mycroft tight and never let him go. Without really thinking and acting on instinct, Anthea shot off another text.

I love you. – A xxx.

One minute.

Two minutes.

Three minutes.

For God's sake, I'm not dying. – M.H.

Ten seconds.

X – M.H.

Anthea waited with her arms folded against her chest, staring at the door, for Mycroft to return from his appointment. Mycroft didn't even get a chance to put his umbrella away, let alone give Anthea a forced smile before her heart leapt in her chest and she barraged him with questions.

"You're having a day surgery eye operation. How are you getting home?" Mycroft frowned as he slipped his umbrella into the correct place on the coat rack.

"Walter." He answered.

"No. I'm doing it."

"No." Mycroft repeated firmly as he took off his coat. "Walter is paid to drive me. He can pick me up." Anthea crossed her legs under her desk.

"I get to come with him then." She saw the genius roll his eyes as he hung the coat up.

"Fine."

"And your check up the next day?"

"That's all yours if you really want it."

"I do." She nodded. Mycroft took a breath. He came to stand near Anthea's desk, sensing that she wasn't done.

"Have you told Sherlock?" She asked. Mycroft scoffed.

"No."

"Your parents."

"God no." He seemed horribly disgusted with that idea. Anthea pursed her lips and pulled her arms tighter against her chest.

"So basically you weren't going to tell anyone who loves you." She saw a shift in Mycroft's expression, though she couldn't pinpoint what it meant as it disappeared before she could identify it.

"You're all reasonably intelligent people, you'd work it out. Particularly you since you actually see me on a regular basis."

"You think this is funny?" Anthea raised an eyebrow. Mycroft raised both of his and looked down his nose at his assistant.

"You think it's appropriate to talk to me this way in the office?" His defences were raised and it hurt Anthea a little bit. She didn't know what he thought he was doing, nor what he thought he had been doing in the first place.

"Stop it, Mycroft. I'm not talking as Anthea, I'm talking as Alice." Mycroft looked to the roof and clicked his tongue.

"It's a minor health issue that I could deal with on my own. It's not a big ordeal that needs to have such a fuss."

"Well it's a big deal to me!" Anthea placed her hands firmly down on the desk, raising her voice a little. She saw what she'd done when she saw the way Mycroft looked at her like she'd just offended his manners. She tucked a curl behind her ear and huffed. "Normal people tell each other about these things. Normal people want their loved one around." She fought to keep the pout from falling onto her lips.

"You know I'm not normal, Anthea. Generally you're quite exemplary at understanding this." Mycroft took a step closer to her. She shrugged in return and he sighed. "What is the real issue here?"

"I told you." She shook her head. Mycroft ran his tongue over his front teeth and then pursed his lips as he analysed Anthea. He shook his head once.

"No, that is the surface issue. What is making this worse?" His steel eyes were piercing into Anthea's skull, trying to dissect her thoughts. She might as well tell him.

"There's ten years between us." She answered quietly with a one shoulder shrug. Mycroft's brows knitted together as he nodded.

"I know." He breathed sarcastically. "Luckily I have just enough fingers on my hands to count up to that number." Anthea rolled her eyes and tried not to smile. She failed a little, her lip twitching up wards. "Continue…" Anthea scratched her ear.

"And you're getting older…" Mycroft clicked his tongue and began walking towards his office.

"For God's sake." He answered with a little bit of bite to his tone as he pulled open his door. "Is that it? Calm down, I'm not senile yet." Anthea shook her head and sighed.

"No!" She called out as she jumped to her feet. Anthea followed Mycroft into his office where he had walked over to his desk and sat down. Now it was her turn to stand in front of his desk. "What I mean is if you, when you…"

"Die." Anthea flinched.

"When you die, I'm going to be left alone…" She trailed off. Mycroft's frown faded just a tiny bit. "I don't… I don't want to not be alone and then be alone again." She trailed her fingers on his desk, following the wood grain. "It scares me."

"Anthea." Mycroft sighed. "I could die tomorrow." He gave her a faked smile. "I could be shot, I could fall down the stairs and break my neck, or I could get ill." His eyes were kinder now. "You might get ill before me. You might succumb to the same early fate that befell your parents. Do you see me worrying about it?"

"That's not fair though, you've already shut yourself off from emotions." Anthea teased lightly, not being able to help herself. Mycroft's smile turned more natural.

"And maybe you need to learn how to steel yourself against your fear of rejection and loneliness."

Silence fell between them.

Mycroft leaned forward and touched Anthea's hand.

"I've been lonely, too, Anthea. It's not as intimidating as it seems. Particularly when you have memories to keep you company." Anthea sniffed a small laugh. She gained a wry smile.

"What if I get Alzheimer's and I forget everyone."

"Well then, you'll be oblivious and there won't be an issue." She laughed as she pulled her hand away.

"We shouldn't laugh about that." She tried to say with a straight face.

"No." He agreed with a gentle look on his face. "But Anthea," His face turned more serious once more. "I'm not bothered by any age gap between us. It's never caused any form of rift between us."

"No." She shook her head. "But. I'm scared."

"And I understand that. It's why I took a certain question back." Mycroft smirked and Anthea rolled her eyes. No matter what he says, he couldn't take it back it was between them. "For once you're the one who will have to get passed this. It's an issue of your feelings, my love, not of the ten years that separate us."

He was right. Anthea knew he was right. Anthea had known even before speaking to Mycroft that this was her issue. She didn't want more heartbreak in her life. But then she thought of her speech at Jamie's wedding, about how love made the pain worth it. She knew it was so very true, and she knew she'd have to get past this fear brought on by the suggestion that they live together and the realisation that Mycroft was older than her. It might just take some time.

"I really love you," She smiled. "You know that, sir? Like, a lot." Something past through Mycroft's eyes.

"I know." He answered. "That's why I'm not afraid of this reaction."

When Anthea went to pick up Mycroft from the hospital on the date of the operation she was both nervous about the operation and excited to see Mycroft in an altered state. That was always a fun time. Still in her work attire, Anthea walked up to the recovery station's desk.

"Hi," She smiled warmly to the woman behind the desk, trying to dim down some of the intimidation that came with her work look. "Alice Clarke. You called me to pick up Mycroft Holmes."

"Oh," The nurse did one large, slow nod. "You must be the girlfriend." Anthea rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, that's me." She sighed. "Who was he mean to this time? Not his surgeon?" The nurse laughed at how serious Anthea's expression was.

"No, he was fine to us." The nurse wave a comforting hand. "But he did offend his anaesthesiologist by the sounds of it."

"Yeah…" Anthea mumbled. "His brother is worse than him."

"But all we've heard about from him is you." Anthea blinked, taken aback.

"Really?" She laughed. Last time he had been out of it he had compared Anthea to a coffee table. The nurse laughed and told another nurse to show Anthea to where he was. The genius was sitting in one of the recovery seats with a glass of water in his hand, his eye covered and his sunglasses tucked into the front pocket of his jacket. He didn't offer Anthea a smile or even say hello to her as she came towards him. Instead he pouted and looked rather sorry for himself.

"My eye hurts…" He mumbled to her. Anthea laughed softly as her heart ached. She looked at him sympathetically.

"I know, cutie." She answered "Let's take you home, yeah?" She asked. Still pouting he nodded. "Then you can tell me what you've been telling the staff about me." She didn't help Mycroft up but she stood close to him, ready to help him if he needed it. As soon as he was up and on his feet he shrugged with a single shoulder.

"Only that you think I'm too old for you." Anthea, half shocked, made a noise between gasping and laughing.

"You know that's not true." She stroked him on the arm and he let her, even leaning into it. "Now let's get you signed out before you get me into even more trouble."

Without a doubt, one of Anthea's favourite things about that day was when they reached the town car. Walter was outside of the car, leaning against the hood. Smiling with a similar smile that Anthea had on her face when she saw Mycroft, Walter nodded at the poor genius now with his sunglasses on.

"Hello." Mycroft croaked. He was very quiet, far quieter than usual.

"Hey there, kid." Walter looked at Mycroft like he was looking at a little kid that had just hurt himself. "You doing okay?" Mycroft shook his head.

"Yes." Anthea wondered if he knew his body language had betrayed him. Walter patted Mycroft on the shoulder.

"I bet you are. Should I take you home instead of the office still, sir?" Mycroft pulled a face as Walter pulled open the car door.

"I can still tell when people are making fun of me, Walter." Mycroft scoffed as Walter and Anthea shared an amused look. "But home would be wonderful, thank you." Such manners. Mummy would be proud.

Anthea walked Mycroft into his house, opening the door with her keys.

"Right then," She began, putting her handbag and briefcase down on the kitchen counter. "Want to sit down in front of the telly or something?" She asked Mycroft who was taking off his sunglasses with a scowl. "I can make you a cup of tea." He placed the glasses down next to Anthea's stuff and shook his head.

"I think I'd rather just go lie down in bed." He answered in a quiet tone. Anthea nodded.

"Okay." She kept nodding. "I'll come help you get set up in bed and then I'll just do work down here-"

"No." Mycroft cut her off at the end of her sentence. "Come with me." It sounded like an order… Almost… It lacked some of the confidence of his usual orders. "You don't have to stay the night, but come lie down with me for a few hours." Anthea's heart ached. Why would she not want to stay? Because she wasn't ready to live here? That was stupid, that was pathetic. That was so heartbreaking coming from a slightly drugged up Holmes. She wanted to pull the awkward genius into a hug right here and right now but she'd save that for lying with him in bed.

"I can stay the night." She answered sweetly, looking into the stormy blue eyes. "I told you that I love you a lot. That means I stay with you through things like this." He nodded, mostly to himself as if satisfying a hidden thought.

"Yes, that's quite useful, that."

"Having someone love you?"

"Yes. That love thing."

Author's Note: Sorry it wasn't longer. I'm doing my vacation care this week and last week which means I've been working almost non-stop. Had I not worked eight hours today I would have expanded some areas. But once again I tried to strife for quality rather than quantity. I hope it was okay and I hope you all liked it. Please let me know, it means a lot to me. Thanks to our guest reviewers; Sophie, Tadaa, Chulija, M, Jane, Sloanne, Survivor, Guest, Wheezzy8, Louise Pond, and ovejalucifer. It was so nice to hear from you all again. Thanks to all my lovely, lovely reviewers too. You all know how much I appreciate you. See you next update.

I know I've past 3000 reviews. How insane is that? We'll talk about POV chapters next update once vacation care is over and I can dedicate some time to thanking you all.