A Very Sirius Plan
Sirius Black sat on a newly renovated chair, his gaze analyzing the new interior of Grimauld Place. He smirked, it no longer looked like a "Grim Old Place!", Sirius began howling with laughter!
"Your so funny and charming, Sirius!", fawned a voice inside his head causing him to puff his chest out with pride.
He was Sirius Black after all. He could do no wrong.
Sirius Black was a free man! As free a convicted felon who was still wanted could be... But having his favorite godson on his side along with a place to sleep was all the old dog needed. He couldn't believe the little rascal was fifteen already.
"Sirius?", whispered Harry from the stairs. Dressed in his Pajamas.
"Ah, pup? Cant sleep ay!"
Harry nodded his head in affirmation, before walking up to his godfather and sitting down onto the table.
"Sooo... How's things between you and that brilliant witch!"
"What do you mean Sirius?"
"Didn't know you had it into you to lie Pup!", teased Sirius.
"There is nothing going on between me and Hermione", responded Harry quickly.
"Mhhmmm and I am from Tanzania"
'SIRIUS", squeaked Harry
"Harry! Its alright to like a witch, your father was the same! Potter's have had a long history of falling in love with brains. Your father and his father before him did the same!", said Sirius knowingly.
Harry blushed.
"Looks like a hit a button there. Huh Potty?"
"Okay... Sirius... But you can't tell this to anyone else... I guess I kind of like her you know, she's grown even prettier and that helps", muttered Harry out.
The Head of Black smiled brightly. He knew he was right about his presumption.
He was Sirius Black after all. He could do no wrong.
"Pup, I could tell you were lovesick for her the first day I saw you both together back in the third year!", grinned Sirius
"Was I that obvious!", yelped Harry who went pale in an instant
"Not really Harry, but I could tell", said Sirius black who puffed his chest out once more out of arrogance.
He was Sirius Black after all. He could do no wrong.
"Well, what are you waiting for Prongslet!", barked Sirius
"Wha- What do you mean Sirius?", asked Harry a little quiver in his voice. He did not like it when his godfather came up with ideas... they usually involved something deviously mischievous.
"Well you got to court the witch before its too late Potty! You don't want another wizard to snatch your girl up now do you?", muttered Sirius as if it was the most obvious thing in the world
Harry twiddled his thumbs nervously, while looking at his shoes.
"Okay... How do I do that Sirius"
"Im glad you asked Pup! You see your "Dog father" was quite popular amongst the witches back in the day, if you get what I am trying to say", flaunted Sirius waiting for his godson to laugh at his pun... the laugh never came though which made it slightly awkward. But hey! Sirius Black was confident in himself.
He was Sirius Black after all. He could do no wrong.
"I guess, I could use all of the experience I can", said Harry as he sighed in defeat.
"I knew you did come around", said Sirius as he flashed a smile that the female population of Hogwarts nearly 2 decades ago knew all too well.
"You see that smile, Prongslet. Try replicating that, witches loveee it when you do it!", encouraged Sirius
"Alright!", choked Harry out as he gave his best attempt at trying to copy him.
It was safe to say, that Harry was NOT going to be turning any heads with what he pulled off.
"Try a little bit more swagger Harry", supplemented Sirius as he stroked his chin in thought before clicking his tounge in understanding.
"Okay Harry, try imagining this alright! Hermione is walking past you looking incredibly pretty, but here's the thing... she is walking towards some lad that likes her and its your only chance to get her to notice you!", said Sirius.
Harry's mouth opened slightly, as if he was daring to question Sirius's hypothetical before he closed his mouth and his eyes.
Sirius grinned in satisfaction, his godson knew that he was right! I mean how could he not be right!
He was Sirius Black after all. He could do no wrong.
Harry opened his eyes and performed the most dazzling and jaw dropping grin ever, Sirius felt a little insecure... he was finally dethroned... by his GODSON OUT OF ALL PEOPLE.
"Better him than, Malfoy", mused Sirius in his head. "I'm good at a bunch of other stuff, its fineee", thought Sirius as he tried to fix his broken ego.
He was Sirius Black after all. He could do no wrong.
"Now, now Potty! You may have got the smile down but ya gotta get a good scent on. Witches go CRAZY when wizards smell just right!"
This statement was Harry's only warning before Sirius pulled out a flask of deodorant from seemingly nowhere and began bombarding him with it until Harry began choking and tearing up from the smell.
Sirius took a deep long breath and nodded his head in satisfaction.
"Last step prongslet, you got to give her a compliment! Something you mean from the bottom of your heart, don't fake it! Witches can tell, I can speak from experience!". Sirius subconsciously grabbed his left cheek, it almost felt like yesterday when Amelia Bones who he affectionately called "Amy", slapped him! Yea, he might have pretended as if he was deeply in love with her just for a couple of snogs... but HEY! that's what teenagers do right?
He was Sirius Black after all. He could do no wrong.
The sly dog raised his handsome and rugged face up and looked at the grandfather clock, it had been nearly an hour since his initial meet up with Harry. It was 5 AM.
Sirius turned his head to his "Dogson" (He couldnt help chuckle at his ingenious humor), "You know what that means Harry! Hermione is an early riser, she ought to be here any moment now", sang Sirius out melodically
Harry gulped nervously and looked up at the stairs, he could swear that he heard some ruffling up there.
"Deep breath in and Deep breath out, Harry!", advised Sirius
Quiet footsteps came from the stairway, one after another. Each one inching closer toward them, as if it was stalking its prey.
Harry finally saw a pair of long legs, followed by a bright yellow sweater before seeing the end of a wavy brown fountain of hair.
"Hey Harry, your awake early!", squealed Hermione with pride! Harry was finally becoming responsible.
"Hello to you too Sirius...", said Hermione in monotone as she narrowed her eyes at the tall wizard. Her eyes snapping between the duo in suspicion. She did NOT like the look of giddiness in Sirius Black's face... it usually meant trouble.
Sirius shivered under the angry stare of Hermione, he knew he was two decades older than her... but damn that witch was scary.
He was calmed though when he remembered his go to phrase!
He was Sirius Black after all. He could do no wrong.
Harry started walking up to Hermione, which surprised the brown haired witch. He stopped right in front of her, breathing down on her face before executing Sirius's smile with perfection.
"Um... that's kind of a creepy smile", thought Hermione in her head. She preferred Harry's lopsided grin... for some reason that smile looked oddly familar... but for the life of her SHE COULDNT PUT A FINGER ON IT
Then it hit her, the stench of what smelt like 50 cans of perfume filled her nose strills making her scrunch her face up in disgust... UGH... WHAT WAS THAT SMELL. Harry's natural scent was wayyy better infact, she liked smelling his musky scent after a game of Quidditch to the point she actually wanted to make a perfume out of it.
Not that she would EVER admit that to Harry, it seemed quite weird..
Now that she thought about it, the scent itself seemed pretty familiar... but for some reason for the life of her SHE COULDNT PUT A FINGER ON IT.
"Mione, you look very pretty. Can I kiss you?", said Harry bluntly
Sirius cringed in disappointment and second hand embarrassment. "What in the BLOODY HELL was his GODSON DOING?! YOU WERE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THAT DIRECT!", Was it because he was bad teacher? nah that cant be the case because He was Sirius Black after all. He could do no wrong.
To his amazement, the bushy brown haired witch threw herself at Harry and pulled him into the most passionate kiss he had seen in years. Maybe the Potter actually had it in him.
"HARYY YOU DONT KNOW HOW LONG I HAVE BEEN WAITING TO DO THAT", gushed Hermione as she giggled against his chest, wrapping her small arms around his frame.
"UGHH I WISH I GOT AROUND TO THIS SOONER! I WANT TO KISS YOU AGAIN!" yelled Harry before being silenced by Hermione who now looked back at Sirius.
"Wait.. a second. That grin? Isn't that the grin that you do, which you think is incredibly seductive but is actually gross?", inquired Hermione
"No, wha- nah never", spluttered Sirius under the fierce gaze of Hermione. He gave her a grin to try to distract her before realizing his fatal error.
HE HAD JUST USED THE SAME GRIN.
"and that horrible perfume, its your isn't it", asked Hermione... it was no longer a question but a statement now
"It's not Horrible! Its great alright!", defended Sirius before slapping his hand over his mouth..
HE HAD JUST CONFESSED THAT IT WAS HIS
Hermione breathed heavily before taking out her wand and started inching closer to the elder wizard who was now covering in fear.
"Please Hermione, I am SO SORRY!", cried Sirius out.
Harry tried to intervene but was being pushed away by Hermione.
"No Hermione, please don't!"
"I just want to talk to him", said Hermione curtly
"Hermione NO!"
"I just want to talk to him"
"Please Hermione"
"I just want to talk to him"
"Hermione he is a poor man"
I just want to talk to him"
"Hermione pretty please"
"I just want to kill him"
"WHAT"
"I just want to kill him"
Hermione sent a tirade of hexes at Sirius who barley knew half of them, before he knew it he began laughing, crying, itching, sobbing all at the same time.
Harry grabbed Hermione and pulled her into a kiss in an attempt to stop her from committing murder.
"I barely hexed him!", whined Hermione