Author's Note: Hi guys! I was really blown away by the reviews. I expected some backlash but most of you were totally getting both sides of the situation and all of you were complimentary. Thanks so much! It made me so happy! I like this chapter and I hope you do too. Please read, review, and enjoy!
Disclaimer: Clearly I don't own Sherlock. The show is the baby of Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss, while Sherlock Holmes itself is the creation of Arthur Conan Doyle.
The First Time She Talked To Someone About The Proposal
Arriving home that day was awkward. Anthea's hope that Mycroft would be able to compartmentalise – like he did with many things – and keep going on as normal failed. He took the truly Holmsian approach and seemed to have a dark cloud following him. To be fair to him; Anthea was making it no easy. She felt justified and bad at the same time leaving her in a strange and awkward middle ground where she wasn't sure how to appropriately act. Even Margot seemed to pick up on her parents' unease. From the moment of the failed mess of a proposal onwards she had become fussy. Earlier in the day she was an angel. You could almost see her halo in the right light.
Mycroft helped Anthea carry in Margot's things that they had taken to the office. As soon as they were placed down near the kitchen he tried to stalk off quietly as if Anthea wouldn't notice.
"Where are you going?" Anthea asked, stepping forward. She winced at the eagerness in her own voice. It sounded wrong coming from her. As slowly as he could possibly manage Mycroft turned back around to look at Anthea. Icy walls were back up. Not all of them – Anthea could still see a little bit of the real Mycroft here – but a lot of them were up. He took a breath and carefully considered his words. Either that or he was trying to find a way to speak at all. He'd barely uttered a single thing since… whatever that was.
"My office." He said softly. Anthea pouted her lips and nodded. There was a long silence before Mycroft added something. "If you need something let me know."
Another long pause.
"Want me to get you for dinner?" Anthea asked. She sounded less needy and more like she was walking on eggshells. She didn't like that either. Mycroft's facial expression twitched into something unreadable. He shook his head. Anthea nodded.
Another long pause.
Mycroft began to turn around. Anthea took another step forward.
"You don't have to stay here." She said. Ah, the eagerness was back. She shoved it down and hid it under a more casual and aloof tone. "If you need some time to yourself you can go to the club." She said. Mycroft looked her up and down. Anthea frowned. "Not that I'm telling you what to do…" She uttered. "Just if you want quiet…" She trailed off not sure where she was going or why she kept talking without thinking. She hated this! And she could see that she was having an easier time than the silently moping genius. Mycroft forced a smile onto his lips – one that didn't reach his eyes – and politely declined with a shake of his head.
"There's an infant to think of." He said. His voice sounded off. Crackly instead of velvety. "I won't leave you to look after her on your own for the evening."
"I don't mind." Anthea shrugged a shoulder. Mycroft looked at her in the eye. Anthea rubbed at her neck. "But thank you." Mycroft forced a smile again. It looked so painful it made Anthea want to wince again. "Maybe tomorrow?" She said. Realising the half fragmented sentence she frowned. "You can go to the club, I mean." She crinkled her nose. "Margot's easier during the day." Mycroft's gaze turned scrutinizing. She could see what he was thinking; you'll probably want to visit Mrs Baker, too. Which was entirely true. If this was this morning he would have said it teasingly with a knowing smirk on his face. He probably would have some choice words for Jamie which were not full of malice but some strange fondness; like how a rock grows fond of the moss that grows on it. Instead he nodded and turned around.
"Maybe tomorrow." He agreed and continued on his way.
When he was out of sight Anthea let out a breath she hadn't realised she'd been holding.
He came to bed. Long after Anthea, sure, but he came and slept in the same bed as Anthea. To Anthea that was enough to see so much into Mycroft. This sulk was directed at himself and not her.
Good.
Because Anthea did the right thing.
She still felt bad for him though.
He was up before she was but that was normal. He made her a cup of tea and left it on the counter.
"Alright." Jamie said when she answered her front door. The blonde had the hand that wasn't on the door already on her hip and already wore a place of displeasure. "What happened to call an emergency meeting?" No greeting, straight to this. Someone else would call it hormones. Anyone who knew Jamie would call it Jamie. "What did Mycroft do or what did you do?" Bless her for not assuming entirely that it was Mycroft.
"Mycroft proposed." Anthea answered her best friend's accusations. Her face in a stern straight line, still not entirely sure how to feel about the whole thing. Ignoring Anthea's tone; Jamie's face light up. She gasped and covered her mouth. She went to grab Anthea's left hand off of where it held onto Margot's pram. Anthea snatched it out of the way.
"No, no." Anthea said. She held her hand up for Jamie to see the absences of a ring. "I said no." The expression fell off Jamie's face. It was like watching a smile slowly melt away into a grimace and then a look of dread.
"What happened?" Jamie asked in a deep and low voice. Anthea looked down at the floor and let a small embarrassed laugh escape her mouth.
"Let me in and I'll tell you." She said.
A beat.
Jamie's hand tightened on the doorframe.
"You guys… alright?" She asked. Anthea smirked a little bit.
"We're still together if that's what you mean." Anthea answered. Jamie exhaled and visibly relaxed. She let go of the doorframe and stepped out of the way.
"Cool. You can come in then." She said. Anthea laughed for real this time.
"You weren't going to let us in if Myc and I had broken up?" She asked Jamie. The blonde shrugged.
"Depends if it was a fair reaction or not."
"And then I asked him if he was okay and he gave me that stupid fake smile with sad puppy dog eyes, said yes, and we went back to work." Anthea finished recounting the whole proposal mess to Jamie. They sat on the couch with cups of teas in the hands while the girls were on a mat on the ground next to them. Hope was sharing all the words she knew with Margot. Margot really was more fascinated by Thatch who lay sleeping in the armchair.
Jamie blew air out of her mouth and shook her head. She wasn't looking at anything in particular.
"That's…" She said. "Well, that's Frosty for you." Anthea sniffed.
"It's too Mycroft." She said. "It's the old, shut off Mycroft before all his emotional growth." She said. Jamie hummed and looked down into her cup. "It's like he got so scared about doing something so personal that all development went out the window and we were back where we started. Except no NDAs." Jamie hummed again. No reaction to the mention of the dreaded NDA, not even a smirk. Anthea put her cup down on the coffee table – in the centre away from the girls. "Jamie?" She asked.
"Hmm?" Jamie's hazel eyes looked up from her cup. Anthea's heart began fluttering. She rubbed at her neck.
"What is it?" Anthea asked. "You think I was too harsh on him, don't you?" Anthea felt her own concerns bubbling up. "You think I should have said yes, don't you?" Suddenly Jamie perked up.
"What? No!" She waved her hand vigorously. "If it were me I wouldn't have been so freaking nice about it! You did good! You told him what's what but were careful about all his brain stuff." She pointed to her head. Anthea calmed down…. A little bit.
"Then what's with the staring off?" Anthea asked Jamie. Jamie sighed. She looked down at the girls.
"It's just…" She shook her head. "He was on the right track. I was so sure he didn't need hand holding." Confused, Anthea quirked an eyebrow. Jamie smiled bashfully and shrunk to hide behind her cup. "I helped pick out the ring." She admitted, the sheepish smile turning into a rather large smirk. Anthea leaned against the back of the couch, surprised.
"He asked you for help with the ring?" Anthea repeated Jamie's words as a question in some level of disbelief.
"See?" Jamie gestured widely. "He was on the right track, asking the best friend slash family. I didn't think he'd go all Holmes on us."
Anthea ran her hands through her hair. It was the proposal wasn't it? He'd gotten it together enough to ask Jamie to make sure he had Anthea's taste. He'd been preparing but he must have lost his nerve on his proposal. It was the safety nets. Why was he so afraid to show love?
Never mind.
Anthea knew the many answers to that question.
"He got scared. The Ice Man lost his nerve." She said it out loud.
"Can't handle his heart." Jamie said.
How telling Anthea thought sarcastically. Outwardly she shrugged.
"He'll do better next time. If there's a next time." A little bitterness directed at herself came out. It was obvious enough to make Jamie roll her eyes.
"Of course there will be!" She scoffed.
"You haven't seen how badly he's been sulking." Anthea said solemnly. Jamie considered this for a moment and let Anthea have her quiet sadness. Then she interrupted it.
"You always call him a teenager, Ali." Jamie said in a sweet voice. "Teenagers sulk. Let him lick his wounds." She looked down at her tea for a second then back up to Jamie. "If he's still sulking in a week you can slap him." Anthea cracked up laughing.
"I might get fired from work if I do that." She laughed. Jamie grinned proudly at creating a light atmosphere again. Back on topic. "I don't expect attempt two for a while." She said.
"Hell no." Jamie shook her head vigorously. "He'll try to lull you into a false sense of security. Once you've completely forgotten is when he'll strike again." Anthea rolled her eyes and laughed silently.
"You're so strange, Jay." She said. Jamie just looked proud. She put her tea down next to Anthea's. She then took a moment to stroke Hope's head.
"So..." She said, her attention back on Anthea. "Did you like the ring?" The blonde looked absolutely childlike as she watched Anthea with careful but hopeful eyes. Anthea rolled her eyes again, smiling.
"I don't know." Anthea said. "I was too busy thinking 'Oh Mycroft, no'!" Jamie scoffed and scowled, scrunching up her soft features. "But~" Anthea continued with a laugh. "I do remember thinking it was beautiful even if I've blocked it from my memory." Jamie looked smug.
"Told him to go with platinum. Said it's prettier than gold." Jamie said proudly. Anthea looked down at the gold rings on Jamie's finger. She quirked an eyebrow. It was Jamie's turn to roll her eyes. "Yeah I know," She said. "And they'd be better in silver or platinum."
A beat.
"Don't tell James. He tried really hard." Jamie said. Anthea laughed. She patted her best friend on the arm.
"I'll take it to my grave." She said.
"Baa-Baa!" Hope called out. Jamie clicked her tongue.
"Baa-Baa's in the machine, Hope. She's getting washed." Jamie sounded like she had said this a million times already today and hated it. "Show 'Got some other teddy. Look at Patches." She gestured to Margot's bear discarded near her pram. "He's probably going to get wash soon." Hope frowned.
"Noooo." Hope… said? Sung? Cried? Was the one year old even intending to drag the word out like that or was it an accident?
"Yeah!" Jamie sung back. "I can't help you sweetie. She's in the wash." She held out empty hands. The little girl pouted. Anthea decided to get on the floor and play with her as a distraction before unnecessary tears began.
Anthea returned home from Jamie's before Mycroft came home from the club. She was coming from upstairs when the front door opened revealing the tip of an umbrella then a very gloomy genius. Anthea had accidentally greeted her partner at the door whether either of them wanted it or not. She hoped, as his grey-blue eyes landed on her, that he didn't think it was on purpose and it wasn't a problem.
"Hey." Anthea said. She offered a sweet smile.
"Hello." Mycroft answered sounding apathetic. He discarded his umbrella and coat then headed off to the kitchen. Anthea followed him, this time very much on purpose. "Did you have a nice day?" Anthea asked once they were in the kitchen. Mycroft made a strangled laugh type noise as he opened a cabinet. He took out two cups and switched on the kettle. Anthea took that as a no. She looked off in the direction of the living room. Silence fell as Mycroft started to make tea.
The kettle clicked.
Mycroft poured the water.
"I trust that Jamie is handling her whole situation better now?" He spoke down to the cups. Anthea guessed he was talking about the surprise pregnancy. Anthea nodded. Remembering that he wasn't looking at her and she needed to respond she cleared her throat.
"Still doubting herself, I think, but excited." Anthea said. Mycroft nodded. He stirred the cups. The little spook made delicate clinks as it hit the sides of the porcelain. Mycroft put the spoon in the sink. He handed Anthea a cup. She took it, their fingers touching as she did. "Thanks."
"My pleasure." Mycroft uttered quietly.
Silence.
Again.
Anthea hated this.
It just dragged.
In reality it was no time.
But it felt like forever.
She had to do something.
"There's a bookshop near Sherlock's that's shutting down. It's having a big sale. I thought I might go tomorrow." She said just to fill the silence.
"Oh." Mycroft replied. He wasn't helping to fill it at all. Anthea tapped her foot.
"Do you want to come?" She asked. Mycroft pursed his lips.
"Certainly." He looked up at Anthea and forced a smile again – a pathetic smile. Anthea didn't know whether to slap him or start crying. She put the cup of tea down on the counter, leant on it, and closed her eyes.
"God." She whispered to herself. It was quiet enough that no one else should hear it. She rubbed at her temples.
Anthea heard another cup being placed down on the counter.
"I'm not mad at you, dear." The not quite velvet voice came from above her but closer now. "I'm rather disappointed at myself and anything involved that isn't you." That didn't entirely help.
"No. I know." Anthea waved her hand in front of her face. It was half true. "I expected this but…" She stood back up at Mycroft. "It scares me because… I do love you." She wanted to reach for Mycroft's hand but stopped herself. Instead she smiled like a goof. "And that's not easy for me to say or lie about so you know it's true." She laughed with some nervous energy. Mycroft's mouth twitched. He was looking over her face carefully – lovingly.
"I love you, too." He said. Anthea took a step closer to Mycroft. Mycroft did not move back. He let Anthea come into his space.
"Jamie says we'll be okay." Anthea said. Mycroft sniffed and rolled his eyes but there was just a sparkle of something light in his face. It was brief but nice to see. "Will we?"
"Of course we will." Mycroft replied. He lifted his hand. He looked like he was going to outstretch it towards Anthea but stop and instead scratched at his eyebrow. "You're allowed to say no, my love." He said. "And I'm allowed to…" He frowned and cocked his head to the side. "Not feel the best about it for a few days." Anthea crinkled her nose. Mycroft's smile looked slightly more natural. "This will blow over in due time, Alice, dear." Anthea tilted her head to the side.
"Promise?" She asked.
"Shall I write up a promissory document?" Mycroft teased. "Margot can be the witness. It'll be official." The sarcasm was a welcome return. It made Anthea's heart feel warm. She still hit Mycroft on the arm for it of course. He mocked being in pain, rubbing his arm. Anthea laughed. It was almost normal.
Author's Note: Hope is so fun now she has some words… But anyway… I hope you liked the chapter! Please let me know what you think! I have two assignments to work on but I don't think they'll affect me being able to get a chapter out by Thursday. Only one of them is pretty big and I will probably want to procrastinate from it anyway :P. Thanks to last chapter's guest reviewers; Guest x2, B, and 3. Thanks to all reviewers! Please give me your thoughts on this chapter! I'll see you in a week!