(Ender) In recent years, game developers have decided to go back to a simpler time.
(Red) The simple time of 2D, side scrolling games that will make your blood boil faster then water in a kettle!
(Geo) Today we take the two most famous 2D, side scrolling heroes in recent years and seeing who comes out on top
(Ender) Cuphead, The Devil-Beaten Dynamo
(Red) And Shovel Knight, The hero who honors the Code of Shovelry
(Geo) I'm Geo, he's Ender and he's Red. And it's out job to analyse their weapons, armor, skills, feats and weaknesses to find out which indie hero would win A Death Battle
The Inkwell Isles. 3 islands home to multiple...well
(Red) Disney rejects. One day, two boys with glasses for heads named Cuphead and Mugman wondered into the Devil's Casino. Turns out, their really good at bets.
(Geo) That's when The Devil himself challenged them: If they were to win, they would have all his money for themselves. Lose, however, and they give up their souls. And since we're talking about Satan here, yeah they lost.
(Ender) That's when the devil struck yet another deal-Bring him the soul contracts of his previous victims or die. Not seeing any other way, they set off to gather the contracts
(Red) Alright, doesn't sound to hard. What so you just gotta-
*Multiple Game Over screens from Cuphead*
(Red) oh...great. Its one of THOSE games. Well if he's going to be getting soul contracts he's going to need stuff to get the job done. Considering everyone he tries getting them from turns into giant monsters ready to sip tea from his head!
(Geo) Once accepting this task, Cuphead's um...father? uncle? Let's just say guardian. His guardian granted him magic power, allowing him to shoot lasers from his fingertips!
(Ender) A little strange but that's the world of old television. Along his adventure Cuphead has gained multiple finger beams. The peashooter being the most basic, a rapid fire, single shot projectile with average damage. All of his weapons have what is known as an EX, a more powerful version of the same weapon, but they must be charged over the course of a battle. The peashooter's EX is Mega Blast, a large, slow-moving projectile that deals considerable damage on a foe.
(Red) Next is the Spread, a short range projectile that deals a lot of damage. Its only issue, like i said, is that ol' cupy needs to basically be a point-blank range for it to actually work. It's EX is the Eight Way, which sounds more like a really fucking intense sex position, but actually it lets Cuphead shoot 8 large projectiles in all directions. Great when you need to insure a hit.
(Geo) The Chaser fires orbs that deal very little damage, but on the plus side homes in on enemies, so Cuphead doesn't have to aim. The EX form is Chaos Orbit, where Cuphead summons 4 slightly larger orbs to form a barrier around him, protecting him from incoming enemies.
(Ender) The Lobber is arching weapon with limited range but decent damage. Its utility comes in its bouncing nature, making it so Cuphead doesn't need perfect aim. The EX form is called Kablooey, which is much larger and deals more damage then the normal Lobber
(Red) What can be argued as his strongest weapon, the Charge is pure power. Issue being for it to do any substantial damage, Cuphead needs time to charge it. So no rapid fire with this one. The Radial Barrage, the EX form of the move, is basically just a giant explosion from his fucking hands! How does he NOT hurt himself with that!?
(Geo) Lastly is the Roundabout, a boomerang-like weapon with average damage. It can have great range, but Cuphead has to have his back turned for it to work, so kinda a risky move, but great for crowd control or from fleeing from enemies. The Jumbo Roundabout has the same concept, but can deal a lot more damage as it will always follow Cuphead's position and will not vanish until it touches him or until scoring 7 hits. However, these aren't all of Cuphead's weapons.
(Red) This fucker can get into an airplane to deal with flying targets. Whist in it, he can shoot foes with, whats basically, a Gatling gun, launch bombs downward that have a lot of power, or even fucking shrink in size to dodge attacks. He can still shoot when small, but they barely do any damage. And guess what. Those weapons have their own EX forms. With the Gatling gun, Cuphead can use the Chomper Missile, which travels forward at an increasing speed and deals damage to everything it touches. While the bombs give him Magnet Missiles. No, not the ones from Mega Man 3, but they are kinda similar as these babies will home in on any target.
(Ender) Elder Kettle gave Cuphead more then just those projectiles. He also allowed Cuphead to use the Parry technique. With this, Cuphead can bounce off of any pink projectile, helpful for dodging attacks or building up the EX meter.
(Geo) Along his adventure, Cuphead has picked up a multitude of Charms, magical emblems that aid his abilities. His two most useful charms are Smoke Bomb, allowing Cuphead to harmlessly dash through enemies and projectiles, and Coffee, which constantly fills his EX meter without need to parry or attack. There is also the Whetstone charm that turns his Parry into a damaging Ax attack, but it only effects his first parry not every following Parry.
(Red) You would think that would be the end to his arsenal right? Well you're wrong! After saving Legendary Chalice from ghosts, 3 times mind you, Cuphead got access to Super Attacks, powerful abilites that require he have a full EX meter. These attacks include the Energy Beam, where Cuphead defies gravity and spins in the air, shooting what I can only assume to be boiling hot water in a large beam. Great for getting out of an attack, and dealing MAJOR damage!
(Ender) The Invincibility super is purely for defense, as it will make Cuphead immune to all damage for roughly 5 seconds.
(Geo) Lastly there is Giant Ghost, where Cuphead summons a ghost version of himself, whose sole purpose is to ram into enemies. Main drawback, however, is that Cuphead must control its movements manually and the ghost only lasts 7 seconds.
(Red) Oh we almost forgot to mention the Super Bomb Morph super on his plane, where Cuphead becomes a bomb and Kamikazes into opponents! So, needless to say, Cuphead has done a lot of ridiculous shit.
(Ender) He's defeated multiple, powerful opponents such as Grim Matchsticks, Dr. Kahl's Robot, King Dice and even the Devil himself. He's fast and agile enough to dodge laser fire, is a master pilot, strong enough to crack a tombstone in half, and brave enough to fight monsters 10 times his own size.
(Geo) However, he is far from perfect. Dodging attacks is his specialty, yes, but that's only because he is incredibly frail. He IS only a cup after all. He is strictly a ranged fighter, with no hand-to-hand fighting ability. Also, he is easily blinded by riches, leading him to make foolish mistakes. Such as, oh i don't know, betting his SOUL on a dice roll.
(Red) But even still, this is one cup who will stop at NOTHING to save the day. Even if it means making the Devil snivel at his boots!
Cuphead:
Age: Unknown
Weight: Unknown
Height: Unknown
Has inconsistent coloring
Weapons: Peashooter(Long range with average damage) (EX: Mega Blast)
Spread(Short range with great damage) (EX: Eight Way)
Chaser(Long range, homing with below-average damage) (EX: Chaos Orbit)
Lobber(Medium range and good damage) (EX: Kablooey)
Charge(High powered, non-rapid fire attack) (EX: Radial Barrage)
Roundabout(Great coverage with average damage) (EX: Jumbo Rebound)
Airplane Weapons (Gatling Gun, Bombs, Missiles) (Can shrink in size)
Armor: Smoke Bomb Charm (Makes him invincible while dashing)
Coffee Charm (Constantly fills Super meter)
Whetstone charm (Turns first Parry into a damaging Ax attack)
Skills: Parry Slap (Bounce off of certain projectiles. Only Pink Projectiles)
Energy Beam (Strictly Horizontal. Deals massive damage to target. Can be used in the air)
Invincibility (Makes Cuphead completely immune to all attacks for 5 seconds)
Giant Ghost (High Damage. Must be moved manually)
Super Bomb Morph (Turns Cuphead and his plane into a bomb. High Damage. Anything will cause it to explode)
Feats: Defeated Grim Matchsticks
Defeated Dr. Kahl's Robot
Defeated The Phantom Express
Defeated Djimmi The Great
Defeated Hilda Berg
Defeated King Dice and his minions
Defeated The Devil
Master Pilot
Expert Dodger
Cracked Goopy Le Grande's Tombstone in half
Destroyed multiple chunks of Limestone
Made the Devil cry
Weaknesses: Frail
Strictly a Ranged Fighter
Can be blinded by riches
*The Devil is crying as Cuphead unloads bullets into him* "KNOCK OUT!" *A bell is heard as the Devil holds his head in pain*
A long time ago, adventurers roamed the lands. Knights and warriors all fought and competed to see who was the greatest.
(Red) But none of them ever stood a chance against the ultimate, dynamic duo: Shield Knight and Shovel Knight! These two kicked ass, and managed to get themselves a nice amount of loot. Yes sir, I'd say they are unstoppable
(Geo) They were. That is before they tried to conquor Tower of Fate. There, a cursed amulet knocked Shovel Knight out cold. Upon awakening, the tower was sealed and Shield Knight was no where to be found, leading him to the only conclusion possible: She was dead. After experiencing this loss, Shovel stopped adventuring and shut himself away from the world.
(Ender) However, he apparently wasn't allowed to be retired for long, As, soon afterwards, an evil woman named The Enchantress took over, along with a group of evil knights known as the Order of No Quarter. Shovel Knight realized that the Tower of Fate was also unsealed, and took to the battlefield once more in hopes of finally getting closure on Shield Knight's 'death.'
(Red) As his name suggests, Shovel Knight's main weapon is his Shovel Blade, which is basically the result if a sword and a shovel had a baby. And it can do way more then dig1 With it, Shovel Knight can do all sorts off cool stuff, from slashing enemies down to using it to pogo off of enemies Scrooge McDuck style! It also lets him charge up a powerful, armor piercing slash or strike the earth to launch a spark attack along the ground. But the Shovel Blade is far from his only weapon.
(Geo) He can shoot a flaming projectile with the Flare Wand, make himself immune to all forms of damage for roughly 4 seconds with the Phase Locket, punch through compact dirt with the Dust Knuckles, and even throw a fucking anchor to crush foes with!
(Ender) He can ride over deadly obstetrical with the Mobile Gear, create a powerful sphere around him with the War Horn, fly through the air with the Propeller Dagger and shoot a bouncing orb of destruction with the Chaos Sphere. He also carries two Troupple Chalices, which contain powerful substances called Ichors.
(Red) For this fight, we'll be giving Shovel Knight the Ichor of Boldness, which makes him completely invincible for 10 seconds and the Ichor of Renewal, which fully restores his health and magic. And what's a knight without some armor? Dead that's what! That's why Shovel Knight has quite a few different pieces to choose from, but in this fight he will dawn the Dynamo Mail, which allows him to use a powerful shovel attack after bouncing off of two consecutive objects with the Shovel Drop. Speaking of the shovel drop, how hard is that attack hitting?
(Ender) Well, comparing his height to the doors around the town, we can estimate his height to be roughly 4'6. And given his broad build, he would most likely weight 100 pounds max. Armor around this time period typically weighed 60 pounds. Scaling to fit Shovel Knight's height, his armor should weight 50 pounds. Adding the 5 pounds from the shovel, and the Shovel Drop strikes with a force of 6,700 Joules of force.
(Geo) Holy Shit! To compare, Mike Tyson-one of the strongest boxers ever-had his strongest punch measure 1,600 Joules, making Shovel Knight's Shovel Drop 4 times stronger the the punch of one of the strongest boxers in the world! And that's not even scratching the surface! He's defeated dragons and griffons, can breath under water practically forever, dodged cannonball fire and ACTUAL fire, beat the Order of No Quarter twice, defeated the Enchantress, and even fought the Battletoads and Kratos, the god damn god of war!
(Red) Buuut he's not exactly the brightest fighter. Remember, the only reason he didn't go searching for Shield Knight for that long is because...he just assumed she was dead. Plus his relics, while awesome, run on a limited supply of magic. So he has to use them sparingly. But even still this is one knight who is willing to get his hands dirty for treasure!
Shovel Knight:
Age: Unknown
Height: 4'6
Weight: 100 Pounds (W/O armor)/150 Pounds (With Armor)
Apparently travels via catapult
Weapons: Shovel Blade (Short Range. Can be used as a sword or as a normal shovel. Charge attack.)
Flare Wand (Shoot fire magic)
Phase Locket (Makes him completely invincible and intangible for 4 seconds)
Dusk Knuckles (Mid-air punch attack. Punches through compact dirt)
Throwing Anchor (Self explanatory)
Mobile Gear (Travel over dangerous areas)
War Horn (Powerful attack all around him)
Propeller Dagger (Flies through the air)
Chaos Sphere (Bouncing projectile)
Fishing Rod
Two Toupple Chalices (Ichor of Boldness, Ichor of Renewal)
Armor: Dynamo Mail (Charges a powerful shovel attack after two shovel drops in a row)
Skills: Shovel Drop (Bounce of foes and certain objects and projectiles)
Drop Spark (Ranged attack. Travels along the ground)
Infinite underwater breathing
Feats: Defeated the Order of No Quarter...twice
Defeated the Enchantress
Defeated a giant mech
Defeated griffons and dragons
Defeated the Battletoads
Defeated Kratos
Dodged Cannonballs
Dodged Magic Fireballs
Takes no damage from catapults
Weaknesses: Not to bright
Limited supply of magic
Money obsessed
*Shovel Knight and Shield Knight work together and finish off the Enchantress*
Alright the combatants are set. Lets end this debate once and for all
(Geo) The savior of Inkwell Isle vs The Code of Shovelry! Which platforming hero gets to walk away? Only one way to find out!
(Red) ITS TIME FOR A DEATH BAAAAAAAAATTTLE!
Cuphead ran through the forest "Where are the rest of the debtors? I need the last soul contra-" He is stopped when he sees a pile of gold and jewels, a man in blue armor asleep on it. 'Holy Teacups! Look at that gold!' Cuphead thought with his eyes becoming dollar signs 'I wounder if the devil would forgive me if I got him all this gold? Besides I may need some for myself' He tiptoes over and starts to stuff the money in his pockets. Shovel Knight starts to wake up
"Huh? What in the...?" His vision is blurry, before clearing and seeing Cuphead stuffing his pockets. He gasped and growled, jumping down and using his Shovel Drop to seperate Cuphead from the gold "Villain! Leave my treasure trove be or face the consequences!"
'He's real sensitive to that gold' Cuphead thought. "Sorry shovel man, but I need that gold a lot more then you do! Hand it over!"
"...so be it" Shovel Knight rose his blade "For Shovelry!" Cuphead adjusted his pants
"Here's a real high-class bout! Now go!"
FIGHT!
*cue Clip Joint Calamity*
Shovel Knight charges a powerful attack. Cuphead's eyes widen before ducking a strong horizontal slash from the Shovel Blade. He dashed backwards and began to shoot the Peashooter. Shovel Knight doesn't flinch from the attacks, before running at Cuphead. He swung with all his might, Cuphead ducks the attack and uses the Mega Blast at point blank, knocking Shovel Knight backwards a bit, before unloading the Spread. Through the pain, Shovel Knight swings, striking Cuphead, making his head spin-literally. Taking the advantage, Shovel knight slashes at Cuphead rapidly, taking out the dust knuckles and punching Cuphead away, then taking out the fishing rod and wrapping the string around Cuphead's leg, swinging him around and slams him into the ground. Cuphead dashes out of it and shoots the Lobber, but Shovel Knight dodges it and shoots the Flare Wand. Cuphead ducks under it, before getting the Charge ready. Shovel Knight struck the ground, shooting the Drop Spark. Cuphead shoots the Charge, then jumps over the spark and shoots the Eight Way. Shovel knight strikes the Charge shot, knocking it away, but was then struck by one of the 8 spikes. Cuphead dashed towards him and used the Radial Barrage, knocking the blue-clad knight away. Cuphead laughs. "Not so tough are ya?" He stuck his tongue out mockingly at him.
*cue The Fateful Return*
Shovel Knight stood up "Thou art strong, I must admit" He rose his blade "But not strong enough! Have at thee!" He ran forward. Cuphead shot the Kablooey, but Shovel Knight countered with the Throwing Anchor. Cuphead gasped before shooting the Chaser. Shovel Knight used the Phase Locket and ran through the attacks, striking Cuphead with his shovel. Multiple fast slashes later, Shovel Knight used the Propeller Dagger to strike Cuphead and the two of them fly into the side of a tree. Cuphead activated his Invincibility super, then used his Parry Ax to knock Shovel Knight off of him. Shovel Knight swung at him, but to no effect as Cuphead grabbed his arm and swung him around into the tree. then unloads Spread. Shovel Knight winces in pain, swinging once more at Cuphead, whose invincibility had expired, and knocking him into the air. Shovel Knight panted tired as Cuphead landed and shot the Charge. Shovel Knight countered with the Flare Wand. The two repeated this 3 times before Cuphead jumped into the air, spinning, and fired the Energy Beam. Shovel Knight's eyes widened as the beam engulfed him.
*cue One Hell of a Time*
The attack ends and Cuphead laughs, before his eyes widen in shock, seeing Shovel Knight standing drinking out of a strange cup. Cuphead growls, shooting the Charge shot, which strikes Shovel Knight harmlessly as the knight runs forward. Cuphead dashes backwards and shoots the Lobber. Shovel jumped into the air and used his Shovel Drop to bounce off of the attacks, building up his attack. He lands and swings his Shovel Blade which Cuphead dashes out of range. Shovel Knight threw the Chaos Orb, to which Cuphead retaliated with the Roundabout. Cuphead shot the Jumbo Rebound, which struck Shovel Knight's shovel as he tried to block. Cuphead whistles as his plane flew down and he jumped in. The Jumbo Roudabout vanished and Shovel Knight looked around for his opponent. Cuphead flies above him and starts to launch the bombs. Shovel Knight gets blasted by one and looks up, seeing more. He jumps and uses the Shovel Drop to bounce off of them, climbing his way up to the plane. Cuphead feels something land on his plane, turning and seeing Shovel Knight on the back with his shovel raised high. Cuphead smirked and shrunk, making the knight fall to the ground, and making a crater. Cuphead launched the magnet bombs, which all struck the ground. Shovel Knight rose and looked up at the Plane. He threw the Throwing Anchor, striking the plane's wing, breaking it and causing Cuphead to fall to the ground in an explosion. Emerging from the rubble, Cuphead growls, activating the Giant Ghost super and running at Shovel Knight. The knight watched his opponent run at him and blew unto the War Horn, knocking the hero back and destroying the ghost.
*cue The Betrayer*
Shovel Knight took out and drank his Ichor of Renewal, feeling his power restore. Cuphead pants, before getting assaulted by Shovel Knight's blade. He gets his chest punched by the Dust Knuckles, making him cough blood. Shovel Knight puts his shovel in the dirt under Cuphead's feet, bringing it up and flipping the hero over as Shovel Knight jumped and knocked him into the dirt with the Dust Knuckles again. Shovel Knight flew down with his Shovel Drop, striking Cuphead's chest. Once. Twice. Three times, then jumps and slams his shovel into his head, shattering it. Everything grew quite as Shovel Knight rose his blade in victory.
K.O!
Shovel Knight drank at the bar in town, retelling his about his victory as everyone cheered. Meanwhile Mugman finds Cuphead's corpse and starts crying
(Red) Some one should have really put a fragile sticker on him
(Ender) This was a surprisingly even match. Both heroes have fought against the forces of evil and defeated them, but neither without help. Both had similar feats as well, such as slaying dragons and robots.
(Geo) Cuphead's speed and agility were definitely more then Shovel Knight could keep up with. However that is only because Cuphead is so frail.
(Red) Yeah there's a reason why Cuphead is a ranged fighter, because he absolutely blows at close range. So he would want to keep Shovel Knight far away from him. However, this wasn't easy since Cuphead's ranged attacks lacked versatility. All of them practically shoot in a straight line, and the ones that don't-like the Chaser and Lobber-either don't do enough damage to really matter, or are easily dodged. Remember, Shovel Knight HAS fought against magic before.
(Ender) Shovel Knight also held the strength advantage, with his Shovel Blade hitting with a force 4 times that of Mike Tyson. The strongest feat of strength we see Cuphead perform is when he shattered Goopy Le Grande's tombstone. But even then, it took him multiple hits to accomplish, as compared to the single strike Shovel Drop, meaning it can be mostly compared to erosion, eating away at an object until it breaks.
(Geo) And while you could argue Cuphead could do the same to Shovel Knight, remember that Shovel Knight is a smaller, constantly moving target. Cuphead would have a harder time trying to hit him. Even in his plane, Cuphead's weaponry selection was very few.
(Red) "But what about his Super Arts!? Surely THEY would help turn the tide right!?"
(Ender) Oh absolutely. His Power Beam and Giant Ghost super's would surly do a lot of damage to Shovel Knight. But, not only has Shovel Knight dealt with ghosts in the past, his Phase Locket and Ichor of Boldness would allow him to avoid any damage given to him. Speaking of the Phase Locket, yes it lasts less time then the Invincibility Super, but unlike that super, Shovel Knight can use it multiple times.
(Geo) But eventually Shovel Knight would run out of magic right!? Well yes, but that's why he has his Ichor of Renewal, allowing him to get back into top shape while Cuphead was stuck with his injures. In short, Shovel Knight's strength and broader arsenal was more then Cuphead could deal with, and he had a way to heal any wounds Cuphead may have given him
(Red) Guess you could say Shovel Knight SHATTERED Cuphead's expectations.
(Ender) The Winner is Shovel Knight
(Ender) Hey guys. We need your help. So while trying to come up with a next fight, one of my co hosts-*cough* *cough* Geo-kept shooting down my ideas because he thought the outcome was to obvious or because he liked both characters to much to kill them off.
(Geo) Mostly because they were
(Ender) Shut up you! Anyway, on my profile you will see a poll with 4 options of what me and my co-hosts thought off. We want you guys to vote for which one you want, or leave a suggestion in a review or in a pm. Whichever gets voted for more is the fight we shall do. Expiration date is is 3/21/18.