Facing Bad Tropes with Naruko-chan 8 - (Naruto AU, SI)

Itachi proved herself a reliable delivery girl.

I wasn't expecting anything else as she had shown incredible determination in doing a fine job these last few weeks. It even came to a point where Naruko tried to 'show dominance' by establishing a 'Delivery Challenge' on the numbers of customers they could deliver to within a single week.

As predictable as it sounded, it was still a bit surprising to see how easily Naruko beat Itachi. And yes, I know, it felt odd that a professional kunoichi got outplayed by Naruko, but… it wasn't a matter of skills alone.

Naruko was a child in the eyes of many, and also well-known in her turf to know how to get out of any client trying to make conversation. And yes, some of the elderly tended to do that from time to time, with now some adults doing the same with Itachi.

Uchiha this, Uchiha that- despite the deep fawning from the civilian slice of Konoha, it was quite perplexing how the politicians deemed it fit to just retire her so early on. I thought it had been Danzou behind this, but I could tell he was 'relieved' to see Itachi doing work on Konoha rather than contemplating any potential betrayal.

Once again, 'trope behavior' kind of screwed with Konoha's stability and, if that wasn't enough, it also created a bit of a situation during one of those days here in the Pizzeria.

Then again, I should have predicted that the Hyuuga-Uchiha Feud was far more fiercer here in this Alternate Universe than it was in Canon. That's not to say that the Feud wasn't bad in canon, but Fanon tended to give it a 'complex' approach to it rather than just 'my eyes are prettier than yours'.

The Hyuuga Clan had been loyal to Konoha from the very beginning, but they joined after the Uchiha Clan. The Senju-Uchiha understanding that persisted through Madara's own betrayal had ultimately declined into outright disappearing when the Senju Clan just withered to leave only Tsunade alive.

At this point in time, the Uchiha was in a 'similar standing' as the Hyuuga. In fact, even with the air of distrust still shredding on the Sharingan's clan, the Hyuuga had a stigma that still lingered over their current status quo.

The Caged Bird seal, but also the 'aristocratic' attitude they have adopted. While normally the latter bit had mellowed and the Hokage had taken steps to lessen the need to enforce the Caged Bird seal due to 'a lack of wartime necessities', the noble nature of their claim over their ranks in Konoha could easily turn a well-meaning Hyuuga in a pain in the butt.

Hiashi was not excluded from the list despite his amicable behavior when he was visiting with his family and… his daughters were educated into the topic as I was soon to learn.

"Why does an Uchiha work for you?!" The snappy tone adopted by Himari was one that I had grown accustomed to, but the topic was far from the usual thing the bratty girl tended to go for.

She would always try to get attention from me, which was, truth be told, very awkward to handle, but it was the fact that she was questioning my work-related choices.

One thing was to be a client and berate a worker for doing something wrong with their actions, another was to lament an employer over his interest to hire someone or not.

Appeasement can just go this far but… I could see Hiashi offering a rather contrite look as they both were standing by the counter. And the man was trying to be supportive (since he believed in what his daughter was saying) but he was also cautious since there were some specific ways to approach this kind of matters.

His daughter was not taking the right one for this conversation.

"Because she went through a job interview, passed and I hired her," I flatly replied, the kid only narrowing her eyes at my response. "Anything else?"

"Yes… I want to be a delivery girl too!"

"Nope." "No."

The first rejection was mine, the other was Hiashi.

"But dad-"

"You are already working to become a ninja and you are currently a heiress to the Clan," the man interjected firmly. "While I can sense your concerns over the worker hired by Bugarino-san, your interest to join is not acceptable or legally feasible."

Himari frowned. "Why not?"

"When you are a ninja, you cannot entertain secondary jobs. Specifically when you are an active member of the Ninja Corps. Since you are also a student of the Academy, you're also a student and thus not legally acceptable to take on any jobs offered by the village."

"I… But that's not fair."

"Life is not," I remarked quietly, turning to Hiashi. "Sir, I think there are other clients with more urgent needs. If you could…"

He merely nodded, dragging a rather defeated Himari back to her seat while her sister was… Well, fumbling words as she tried to say something nice to Ruko-chan, only to sound as if she was beat-boxing.

Maybe she can be made a rapper in the future, who knows. At least her sister was contained… for now.

—-d-d-d-d—-

It was night and… I am quite sure I didn't fall asleep with two pillows pressing on my face.

For a moment, I thought that Naruko had decided on a sleep sneak-attack, but as I opened my eyes, I realized that the boobs were bigger than my daughter's. And since I could clearly remember not going to sleep with anyone tonight, I could tell something else was afoot.

"Are you awake? It took you a while, little human~."

I looked up and I saw red slitted eyes. And red foxy ears atop the red-haired lady that was currently keeping me pinned on the large bed I woke up in.

"I think I am- sorta. Mindscape or dream?"

"Dreamscape for convenience," The Kyuubi mumbled, sounding a bit upset at my lack of reaction. "Don't tell me you were expecting this too."

I raised a surprised brow. "Kinda? I mean, I am surprised it took you a while to find a way to get me here… by the way, how?"

"Snatched one of the kit's clones, then used a special mind-medium jutsu to bring your consciousness here while you are asleep."

It sounded a bit cheesy considering the Yamanaka Clan was experienced in doing that sort of shit but… at the same time, the trope of 'Kurama being a seasoned jutsu master' was also a thing.

"Duly noted, so… how can I help you?"

"I need answers to some questions," Kurama replied flatly, rolling on the side and yet keeping hold of my right arm. "Questions that shouldn't be asked to a mere 'civilian'."

I had a feeling this would have happened, but I had been betting a lot on Kurama being more of an Ara-Ara kitsune rather than actually keeping her wits about the juicier topics of this fateful meeting.

"Sure. Go ahead."

Her lips twitched in a delighted smile as she thought things were going to be easy for her.

My answers were, however, rough as I didn't spare her any detail and I was soon dealing with a rather depressed kitsune trying to make sense what the fuck was the 'original timeline' and how 'Boruto' had fucked up with her counterpart.

"So I die just to give Ruko-chan's older and male version a… a boost?!"

"Kind of a sudden one at that, you just 'pulled it out of your ass' and then went along with it."

"Why?"

"I would love to tell you that if I knew, but… I really don't," I admitted, patting her head in an effort to soothe her pain at knowing that somehow, somewhere, a version of her got the shortest end of the stick. "At least there's a chance Isshiki doesn't exist-"

"And if he does? I am not dying for a boost! I am too gorgeous to die for a boost- even if I love my kit a lot."

That actually sounded rather sad and…

"What is it with you and calling Naruko your kit? Like, you really want to be her mother?"

"She already has a father," Kurama admitted, hugging me a bit, then sighing. "But I think the one thing that really makes me want to help her is that she has been given enough reason to be the worst Jinchuriki I had but… she pulled through. Thanks to you."

"...And?"

"And I think I like it best when my jailor is not sent into dangerous situations. I am fine with having her trained, but she is not to become a ninja."

"She doesn't want to," I argued calmly. "So that's acceptable-"

"And I want a date with you."

…

I sighed.

"Why?"

"Why not? Are you afraid of me taking advantage of you and-"

"You're a virgin, are you?"

The outraged foxy noises that were uttered by the kitsune told me a thing: Kurama was indeed a virgin despite her big game.

And this may be the turning point to see if I can turn this little agreement of ours into a proper long-lasting deal or even into something more… intimate.

AN

Next time… Itachi's POV!