The noob's punishment
~~~~ 2hu Frikmania ~~~~
Mark, clad in colorful clothing as if he just came from a party, wakes up in Gensokyo with pain everywhere in his body.
His tt covered by his black hair hinders his vision as he lets out a groan that he makes whenever he wakes up.
He looks to his left and right seeing nothing but trees and shiny rocks.
"I swear if I got telemagorpted to a fanfic", he assumed, getting off his ass.
His hands, painted red from fruit punch supposedly, ran through his hair to repair his vision.
Generic red party cups and party hats are found around him as he rights himself up.
"Because the youkai prepared a party for my arrival " He humored himself since no one else was around. "Staying here isn't gonna help me for sure, let's get moving!"
After getting as many cups as he could fit in his pockets, he began walking in a random direction.
"Maybe I got some cool fanfic mc powers." He said to himself while walking past multiple trees. "Shazam! Alakazam! Wazam!"
After a bit of walking, he comes across a field of flowers. Sunflowers covered the majority of the field but there were some other types he had never seen before.
'This is most definitely a fuckin boss room' He thought to himself as he betrayed his own thoughts and went in anyway. If only he wasn't fricking stupid.
As he enters the flower field, his intrusive thoughts win and he kicks a flower. "Heh, stupid flower" He chuckled to himself.
Suddenly, boss music starts playing. A giant red bar stretches across the sky above him and he regrets everything he had done in his life within a fraction of a second.
"Why are the boss names in fuckin moon runes", he questioned as he couldnt read the name of the boss.
Rumble.. Thump.
Incredibly loud footsteps neared Mark as he tried to leave the field to no avail.
An invisible barrier blocked his exit.
"Stupid game mechanics!" He gave up trying to escape and looked back at the flower field. A green haired beauty with her hair reaching her shoulders and wearing a red plaid skirt with a parasol covering her from the sun. She was not happy to see him, not one bit.
In an attempt to hide her fury, she spoke in a calm demeanor. "Do you have any last words?"
Mark refused to respond because he knew he was in the wrong.
The lady's calm facade immediately changed when he broke into a sprint past her.
'Well shat I just had to piss off a boss the moment I got telemagorpted!' He thought to himself very calmly while running for his life.
He looks back for a moment and sees the lady float towards him menacingly. 'I'm a dead man faaack!' Lost in his thoughts he slips and falls down on his face.
'Its official im fucking dead.' He picks up the thing he slipped on without looking so he could it it up later and starts running again.
Mark takes a left turn. 'Wait.. the fuck is this, an arm? A weird blue metal arm.'
The metal arm suddenly disappears into his left arm with a tingly feeling.
'I hope it didn't just give me cancer.'
With that, Mark stops running and turns around. Yuuka stares at him menacingly. She raises her parasol with one hand.
In an attempt to look intimidating, he stands in a certain way. 'Let's hope this thing does stuff!'
The parasol she held suddenly grew brighter at the tip. "My name is Yuuka Kazami. I'm the last thing you'll see before you die. Lucky you~."
"Fuck you I'm not dying here! " Mark lies to himself.
Fwi-chuu~! A giant laser shoots towards him the second he finishes speaking. Mark punches to push it away but the metal arm appears instead of his left arm.
Clink!
The laser disappeared on contact.
"Holy shit, usable weapon!" Mark exclaimed.
Yuuka's face went from a fake smile to a curious smirk.
"Parry this." Multiple flowers appear above her and explode into smaller balls of technicolor homing danmaku towards Mark.
'Oh shit!' He thinks to himself while ignoring the stinging pain and desperately trying to deflect as many as he can.
Clink! Mark felt rejuvenated as he landed a parry.
'Parries heal me. Isn't that like, really great?' He grinned a hefty grin thinking he found an overpowered weapon.
Yuuka doesn't seem to want to move from her spot. Mark was determined to do the same. 'If she wants to just sit and spam, so will I!'
Clink! Clink! Click!
The lasers just kept coming. Yuuka had no thoughts of ending the fight this early.
Clink! Clink! "Agh fuck!" A laser grazed his shoulder. 'I'm just gonna give it a little look.. Oh shit that's alot of red 40!'
Clink! And it's gone, this metal arm thing is gonna be saving my ass.
~~~~ 2hu Frikmania ~~~~
Three hours of the same, repetitive actions from both sides passed by in a flash.
Clink!Clink!
They were both getting bored of it. Yuuka's endless stamina would've allowed her to go on for much longer, but the healing from Mark's arm would not let up.
"Hey! You think maybe you could let me go now?" He asked with brazen fluff on his mind.
"Sure. I have no need for a defective toy~." She disappears from sight.
'Wait.. she disappeared.. Oh shit!'
"Fuck, vines!" His legs and waist were completely enveloped by vines. The vines then twisted around both arms, rendering him unable to fight back.
'I am not surviving this!' He thought with certainty.
The vines extend upwards, then bend backwards and Yuuka waves goodbye. "Toodle-oo~"
"Holy shi-" The wind whips past Mark and his voice is lost due to how fast those vines just threw him.
…
Falling down into a grove of magical trees, he contemplates all the decisions he made up until now. 'Maybe I shouldn't have kicked that flower… Frikin plant life endangerment.
With nothing but himself and his thoughts, he started thinking. 'Still though, those trees are pretty. Not something I thought I'd ever say in my entire life…! To trees no less.'
…
'Those trees look really close right now… Like really close.. Maybe because it is!'
Crash!
~~~~ 2hu Frikmaniac ~~~~
End of Chapter 1
MC: Mark, the generic introvert
PRIMARY WEAPON:
The Feedbacker: a blue metal arm that has a tendency to make people trip on it, deals 1 damage with punches, deals 5 damage with parries. Parries full heal
INVENTORY:
Red Party Cups 4x: Used and abused cups.
PARTY:
Mark, forever alone
~~~~ AUTHOR'S NOTE ~~~~
What if I told you I spent 5 months on a draft? This would've been an epic april fools prank.