Ser Elle.

A knight.

Knighted.

For something she did herself.

No mention of her family, her inheritance, her birthrights. Just her own accomplishments, her own decisions, her own name.

It was more than she could have ever dreamed of.

And yet… And yet…

She couldn't go back to Sunspear now.

A knight had a duty to their people, to protect them, to guide them, to act as a shining beacon from which those people could draw hope from. And as long as there was war raging in the Riverlands, she could not leave. She was Ser Elle of the Riverlands now, the Golden Paladin - she had to stay.

The Golden Paladin… An apt name, yet one she did not know the origins of. Perhaps when Will had promised to make a legend of her, he had taken his promise a bit too far. How many people knew of her already? How far had her story spread? It had not been long, Sunspear could have never heard of her already. King's Landing- No, not even them.

She had always wanted to be wanted. And these people… they not only wanted her, they needed her. They had made her their legend, had unknowingly fulfilled each of her deepest desires.

Then why was she so conflicted?

She stared up at the statue of the Warrior.

Was this what they wanted her to be?

The ideal man - strong, brave, just, protective, and not afraid of killing his enemies.

She could do it. Could become what they needed, could become this man the people dreamed of. She just had to… get over her fears. Soldiers, lords, knights, kings killed others all the time, and they were celebrated for it. There was nothing wrong with taking a life.

But…

Did her knighting even count? There had not been a female knight in so long, the Faith might refuse to acknowledge her. She had not been oiled, had not stood vigil in a sept the night before, did not even own a sword. The High Septon these days did not seem like a very forward-thinking man.

Lord Terrick had not knighted her because he was so impressed by her achievements. In fact, he had seemed rather displeased at her presence. But Helena, who seemed to perpetually live in a fantasy, had convinced him. Also not because she felt like she deserved it, but because it made for a good story.

She could simply ignore it. Pretend it never happened. Leave for Sunspear and never speak a word of it again. No one would know.

Duty had been something she had avoided her whole life. She had run away from it at every opportunity, into desert after desert. Mayhaps she should do so again. This life was not meant for her.

Elle could not remember the last time she had prayed to the Warrior. Perhaps never. But she was a knight now, and he was the one knights prayed to.

She would kneel before the Mother again before long, she promised herself, but for now she closed her eyes, and begged.

Lord Leopold Terrick had called for a feast, a celebration for his daughter's return. The kitchens prepared the food, the servants prepared the great hall, and Helena's ladies prepared her.

"What colours fit well with blonde hair?" Hà Loan, Helena's youngest sister, asked as she stood before the wardrobe.

"I have always liked green," Elle answered from her place on the couch, though she knew whatever she said would not be paid any mind.

Helena, her sisters Hue and Hà Loan, and two more ladies had taken over one of the private chambers of the family to prepare Elle for her feast.

(They insisted on calling it her feast, despite it being at most half her fault valuable food was being wasted.)

Now they all stood before an assortment of dresses, readily provided by Helena and two others, Theresa and Karoline, trying to find a gown worthy of a knight.

"No, green will blend in too much," Theresa said.

"Then red." Hue grabbed one of the gowns and held it up before her.

Karoline ripped it out of her hands immediately. "Do you want her to look like a Lannister?"

Elle wrapped the shift she had been given after her bath tighter around herself, her necklace safely hidden in the room she had been given.

"How about this?" Helena held up a dress out of equal parts silk and wool, clearly influenced by YiTish styles, and in the colour of a summer sky. "It fits with your eyes."

Hà Loan opened her mouth, but Elle didn't care about what the girl had to say.

"I want to try it."

Helena gifted her with her adorable smile as she took the dress from her hands and disappeared behind the folding screen.

The gown fell down her body easily, its fabric feeling light and comfortable against her skin, though it did not quite fit. The skirt's hem stopped before her ankles, the sleeves did not cover her hands as they were supposed to, and the fabric was far too loose around her upper body and hips.

It was likely Helena's, and the thought that she gave up one of her own dresses after having made such a fuss about them on their journey back to Cherrycross made her smile.

She wound a small scarf around her neck, took a breath, and stepped out.

"How do I look?"

A myriad of emotions could be seen on their faces, yet they all appeared to at least be pleased. Helena and Hà Loan in particular seemed quite ecstatic.

"It does not quite fit," Elle said looking down upon herself, "but-"

"We'll figure something out." Karoline pulled her to a vanity and sat her down in the chair in front of it. "For now, we'll need to take care of your hair."

The feast that evening was less of a feast and more of a ball with food served on the sidelines. Several lords had come from the surrounding keeps, and Lord Leopold had even invited the common folk who had witnessed her knighting.

The musicians played what she assumed to be every song there was about the Golden Paladin. She tried to listen to the words, to the achievements they attributed to her, yet the amount of lords and knights wanting to dance with her - and then talk during said dances - made this quite difficult.

She was being nice to all of them - graciously accepting each of their requests, as befitting of a lady, smiling politely, answering with whatever they wanted to hear.

But it was fucking exhausting. Especially because today had already been too much for her.

She had to keep up conversation with Helena who never seemed to go a moment without saying a word, then she had been knighted, then came her preparation with the ladies, and now she was at a ball surrounded by people desperate to talk to her. Nothing to say of the music that was hammering into her mind.

If it were up to her, she would grab Starlight and disappear into the woods.

Alas, she stuck to her courtesies and forced herself to stay.

She tapped her fingers in a steady rhythm against the goblet she was holding, and let her gaze wander across the room.

Helena stood towards the dais, laughing with her ladies. She looked enchanting in her amethyst purple dress, the cut of it looking so much more detailed than any of her previous ones, if that was even possible. Her dark hair was pinned up and decorated with silver combs. But despite everything, so few men had asked her to dance. She had mostly talked to the women in attendance, and stayed away from the middle of the room.

And Elle didn't understand why. Helena was House Terrick's heir, and - more importantly - the most beautiful woman in the room. If she were a man she would have refused to let Helena leave her arms for the entire evening.

"Someone step on your foot?"

Startled, Elle whipped her head towards the voice.

Lady Liên stood next to her, food in one hand, goblet in the other, and a grin on her face.

"Pardon me, my lady?"

She chuckled. "I asked if someone stepped on your foot during dancing, with the face you are making."

Shit. She had not noticed that she had stopped smiling, and had apparently started looking so annoyed it attracted attention.

"No, my lady," she said with a laugh. "This day has just been a lot for me."

"Understandable. But nothing the Golden Paladin can't handle, eh?"

She nodded slowly.

It could not start like this again. Expectations thrust upon her, roles she needed to fulfil, duty she needed to adhere to. Her entire life had been nothing else. She had stayed in the Riverlands because it was different, because she could simply be herself. And now…

Perhaps the gods had plans for her. She hoped they did. Otherwise she could not explain to herself why she was continually forced to suffer like this.

"I've never seen her like this."

Elle turned to Lady Liên once again. She had finished her food and was now staring across the room, towards Helena. She had just accepted a man's invitation to dance and her smile was blinding, even from where she was standing.

"Like what?"

"Passionate about real life. It's usually an impossible task trying to get her away from her books, but something's changed. The way she talked about you today, lifting you up, talking about your accomplishments… She has never done anything of the like before." Her smile turned softer. "I think it was the reason my husband was so willing to knight you."

Oh.

Her eyes followed Helena on the dance floor. Elle had assumed her to always… obsess over every new person she met, or at least every new person who could fulfil her dreams of living a fairy tale. But no. She was the exception.

Why? What was so different about her?

"If what I know of her is any indication," Elle finally said, "then she will make a great lady."

She recognised the look on Lady Liên's face - had seen it often enough on Oberyn when he had watched Elia in the training yard, or Tyene during her studies, or Loreza trying to run. Or her. It was the look of a parent proud of their child.

(Though she could not remember her real parents ever looking at her like that.)

"I have no doubt in that," she answered.

She spent three nights at Cherrycross, talking to Helena and her sisters, sparring in the training yard against the castle's guards, and telling the ladies of the court of her adventures.

Several of the hallways were decorated with paintings in styles she had never seen before. Gentle ink brushes decorated pieces of paper and silk alike, the motives seemingly depicting life not as it was, but how it might be taken in by someone wandering around nature. She saw trees and animals she had never seen before, birds and mountains and flowers that were impossible to originate from Westeros. Different from the art she had seen in King's Landing and Sunspear, these paintings left spaces free of ink and colour, yet none of it seemed accidental or as if the artist had run out of materials.

She stood in front of a hanging scroll depicting a cat engaged in a fight with a dog, when Helena found her. The lady stood beside her in silence for a minute, their hands almost touching, when she suddenly spoke up.

"I heard you are leaving."

Elle blinked and looked down to her. Helena's eyes were sharp, a challenge laying in them.

"Yes," she answered slowly. "There are people out there who need me. I cannot stay here forever."

"But why?"

She chuckled in disbelief. "You knighted me, Helena. You thrust this duty upon me and I cannot simply ignore-"

"You could become my sworn shield," she threw in. "Plenty of knights serve as sworn shields. Just imagine it: The first female knight in generations protecting the lady who had her knighted-"

"Helena." She now turned fully towards the lady, eyes tracing the lines of her lashes in an effort to avoid direct eye contact. "I appreciate everything you have done for me, but my duty lies outside of these walls. You made sure of that." Helena smiled. "I am the Golden Paladin, and the people rely on me. I cannot turn my back on them."

"But I need you, too."

Now it was Elle's turn to smile. She brushed a strand of black hair behind Helena's ear. "I will never be far away."

She let her hands drop to her sides and took a step back.

Helena opened and closed her mouth several times before she finally said, "May I at least give you a gift?"

She laughed. "You have already given me so much."

"Yes, but…" She stepped closer. "You are a knight now. A knight who has saved his beautiful maiden. I think you deserve your reward."

What was she talking about?

Another step closer. They were almost pressed up against each other now, and Helena seemed to expect something of her, but she still had no idea what it could be.

Helena huffed, before she grabbed Elle's collar, pulled her down and pressed their lips together.

She took a sharp breath, her eyes closing on their own accord.

Before she had time to fully grasp the situation - to appreciate the feel of the soft lips pressing against hers, to lay her hands on her soft hips, to press their bodies together and deepen their embrace - Helena had broken the kiss and stepped away.

She smiled. "Safe journey, Golden Paladin."

And with that, she disappeared down the hall, leaving Elle to stand alone between the paintings.

She left Cherrycross at the break of dawn. There was much distance to cover, and the sooner she got away from Helena and the strange feelings she experienced whenever she was around her, the better.

She rode along the Tumblestone, the pattering and rushing calming her, yet forcing her to work through what her future would bring.

Ser Elle, the Golden Paladin.

Despite how much she despised it, she had a duty now, a responsibility to the people that saw her as a hero.

She could do it. Could become what they needed her to be. After all, she only had to continue with what she had been doing anyways - travelling the land, rebuilding towns, helping with the harvest, and saving someone from time to time.

There was no reason to believe that had to change. And it wouldn't.

She might be a knight now, but that did not mean she had to kill someone. Or that she had to experience a killing.

Her path was a safe one.

a/n: hope y'all are ready for next week. we're meeting an old friend again :)