Chapter 8: Descent

Dark, familiar eyes glowered at her and Thea could feel the grappling, insistent hands. Thea pushed them off and tried to scream, but as she opened her mouth, no sound came out. Thea scrambled backwards, feeling that she was putting barely any distance between her and the man who was reaching after her.

Thea managed to get her feet beneath her and began to run. Her legs felt weak, as if each step was being mired down by sand and she made it no more than a few feet before she fell again to the ground. A hand gripped her leg and dragged her towards him. She flailed, attempting to kick and hit and scrape, but it was like no matter what she did, her swings made no contact and had no effect on the motion of her body being pulled closer. The motion stopped and she felt pressure on her body and realized she was being held down. She could feel a hardness being pressed between her legs and as the reality set in of what was going to happen, she began to cry and plead. No no nonono –

Thea sat straight up in bed, panting. She reached out with a trembling hand and switched on the lamp on her nightstand. She was covered in sweat and she could feel a dampness on her face from where she had been crying. Thea quickly swiped the dampness away and allowed herself to observe each item in her room to ground her and remind her where she was - that she was safe.

Thea reached for the bottle of water at her bedside and found it empty. With a sigh, Thea pushed herself out of bed and opened her bedroom door. She was taken aback to realize the lights in the living room were on and she glanced back at her alarm clock. It was only 11:15 pm. She had been asleep for less than an hour.

Thea took a breath to ready herself to see Laurel and tried to infuse her steps towards the kitchen with nonchalance. Thea hurried to the refrigerator and filled her bottle even as her brain began to tell her that something wasn't quite right. Thea could hear sounds of machine gun fire on the TV and a serious narrator talking about … World War II?

Thea gripped her filled bottle and wandered to peer into the living room. Rather than Laurel sitting with a darkened TV poring over her work briefs, Thea found a very relaxed appearing John Diggle watching a History Channel documentary.

"Hi," Thea said confused and a little bemused.

Digg turned his head and shot Thea a little smile. "Hey."

"What are you doing here?" Thea asked, walking around the couch and plopping beside Digg.

Digg gave a little shrug. "Laurel called and said she needed to do something and she didn't want to leave you here alone."

Thea's eyebrows shot up. "She … what? So you're, what, my babysitter?"

"I wouldn't say that," Digg said evenly.

"Did she say why she wanted someone here?" Thea demanded, voice high, but without bite.

Digg shrugged again. "She said that you've had a really bad few days and that she would hate to have you wake up and not have someone here."

Thea asked skeptically, "And that was enough to make you leave your wife and child in the dead of night to watch documentaries in our apartment?"

Digg shot Thea a glance knowing she wasn't going to let it go. "She may have insinuated that she was concerned you would get into trouble if no one was here."

"Trouble?" Thea prompted.

This time Digg didn't answer – he just held eye contact with Thea letting her read the answer there.

Thea sighed somberly. "She's afraid I'm going to get wasted, or high, or hurt myself."

Diggle looked back at the TV and asked evenly, "Is she right?"

Thea groused softly, "I'd like to think I've calmed down enough to contain myself."

"Sounds like some week," Digg noted, still focusing his gaze on the TV screen.

"Hmm," Thea responded. The two fell into a comfortable silence and Thea felt herself struggling to keep her eyes open.

A warm voice brought Thea back, saying gently, "Go to sleep, Thea. I'm not going anywhere."

"Hold you to that," Thea murmured sleepily as she let herself drift off in the warmth of the living room lights.

It felt like only minutes passed when a deep voice penetrated Thea's mind.

"Did your conversation with Oliver go okay?"

Thea felt herself being pulled out of her dreamless sleep by the voice. Thea felt herself still on the living room couch, face buried into a couch cushion. Thea kept her eyes closed and listened in, recognizing that Laurel had returned home and was now talking with Diggle.

"How did you know I was going to talk to Oliver?" Laurel asked. There was no answer and Thea could only imagine the knowing look that Digg was shooting her. After a beat, Laurel replied, "Okay, fine. Yes, it went … fine."

Thea could hear the sound of items being set on the kitchen counter. Digg asked seriously, "Is everything okay?"

Laurel sighed and said quietly, "Everything is as fine as it can be, John. Felicity does have a new system we'll use during our next patrol. Thea and Oliver are going to be on separate comm channels and only you, Felicity, and I should be able to hear everyone."

"Sounds like a lot of planning and avoidance for everything being fine," John noted matter-of-factly.

Thea felt like she could hear Laurel roll her eyes in response. "You're right. Oliver and Thea are having a rough patch right now, but it's not my place to get into it. They just need a little bit of time. And if they need a little time apart, we can find a way to give it to them."

"How much time apart can they get when they are both working on Oliver's campaign?" John mused.

"They're working through that," Laurel returned. "Look, it's less than ideal, but I'm just trying to be supportive."

There was a moment of silence. Then John asked, "Are we backing Thea or Oliver on this one?"

"What?"

"Look, Laurel, you know Oliver is like a brother to me," Digg said seriously. "But I also get that he can be an asshole from time to time, and he and I are still trying to get back to even after his time with the League. When Oliver was gone, you and Thea became my team. If you guys need me to back you and leave Oliver to Felicity, I'm there."

"I appreciate that – I'm sure Thea would too – Oliver was an asshole, and I told him as much, but he's a protective asshole who did some really stupid things from a place of concern. I think you're okay to be a neutral party."

Silence reigned in the room once more. Then the amused voice of Diggle said in a tone above what he and Laurel had been speaking in, "You agree, Thea? Want me to be Switzerland?"

Thea refused to open her eyes but mumbled, "You can be Switzerland. I'll let you know if that changes."

"Thea!" Laurel said pretending to be scandalized while Thea could hear the smile settled faintly on her lips. "How long have you been listening?"

"You're loud," Thea grumbled.

"So, the whole time," Digg stated, bemused.

"Thanks for calling Ollie an asshole," Thea noted to her teammates, still not sitting up on the couch.

"To bed with you," Laurel admonished. "Goodnight, John. Thank you for coming over."

The weekend passed by quickly under the watchful gaze of her friends. Thea knew that they were attempting to be subtle, but it wasn't hard to discern that there was a rotation to ensure that she wasn't left on her own. Thea had breakfast and went running with Laurel, only to be invited to lunch with Laurel and Detective Lance. Lyla called and invited Thea to dinner with her, John, and Sarah followed by a late movie night. Sunday involved Felicity insisting on getting Thea's fashion expertise shopping for a new dress for an important upcoming presentation and then Thea and Alex grabbed dinner and drinks. If Thea pulled back early from a deepened goodnight kiss, neither Thea nor Alex mentioned anything.

Thea enjoyed the company and was doing her best not to feel annoyed by the intentionality of someone being with her at all times. After hearing Laurel with Diggle, Thea trusted Laurel to keep Thea's confidence and felt sure that no one had said anything to Alex or Lyla, so she did her best to enjoy their oblivious company. It was also easier to bury her worries about Ollie's prying and their awful fight when she was in the company of others.

It made her feel queasy every time she thought about what Ollie now knew. What he must think about her. How disappointed he was in her. Laurel had been amazing about everything, but Ollie's reaction was something out of her worst fears. And she had been living with the fear of discovery for so many years now. Every year that passed had made her feel like she could bury her past and move on - she was still reeling from her secrets being revealed.

And those worries and dark thoughts were translating into a profound lack of sleep. Three nights had passed since Ollie first confronted her, and Thea had scarcely been able to stitch together four full hours of sleep a night. Racing thoughts and memories kept her from drifting off to sleep and nightmares invariably woke her as soon as she did. Fear of falling asleep only to reenter her nightmares further kept Thea from falling back to sleep. At this point, Thea constantly felt the tiredness in her head like being inebriated and a weight resting on her chest, making it feel like she couldn't draw in a full breath.

When the team met up to patrol, Felicity's plan to split Oliver and Thea on comms had worked as well as it could. Ollie and Digg briefed, geared up, and hit the streets before Thea and Laurel entered the Foundry to do the same. Patrol itself didn't accomplish much besides stopping a few muggings. Damien Darhk and Hive were making themselves scarce. It stung when Thea heard Ollie's codename over the comms, but she was grateful that she had not had to give up patrolling. Malcolm had brought a lot of pain into her life, but he also gave her skills that she was pleased to put to good use. Patrolling centered her – walking the darkened streets and clambering over rooftops, focusing on the sights and sounds of the city at night.

Thea found herself back in the campaign office on Monday, anxious to avoid accidentally coming face to face with Ollie. Despite her concerns, she was able to throw herself into the minutia of planning several upcoming events and Alex was unquestioning and agreeable in providing all necessary updates to Ollie himself.

It was early afternoon in what felt like no time and Thea was standing looking over an easel with several possible slogans to be posted on signage for an upcoming gala. Thea was fully immersed in her task and was unaware of familiar footsteps approaching her from behind. When she sensed a presence behind her, it was the same moment she was gently gripped around the waist and a kiss was pressed against her cheek.

Thea stopped breathing. Suddenly she was not a professional in the campaign offices of Oliver Queen – she was a child, and she was being grabbed by an adult man who was making clear his intentions for what would happen next. Thea leapt back with a holler, arms coming up in a protective, ready stance. The world swam around her and she felt like she could see him, smell him.

Then, as the pounding of her heart steadied, the world refocused. Instead of the face of her abuser, Thea was confronted with the very confused face of her incredibly sweet boyfriend. Alex looked at Thea with worried eyes and said quickly, but gently, "Thea, are you okay? I am so sorry, I didn't think…" Oh, dear, sweet Alex, who assumed all of her trauma came from the incredibly public events that the world knew about Thea Queen: her father's death and brother's 5-year disappearance, her abduction during her mother's mayoral campaign, her mother's murder in front of her and her brother by a "trusted friend". Even his impression of her blood lust - what he dubbed her "anger issues" - she knew he likewise attributed to those published traumas.

Thea dropped her protective stance and gulped in a breath. "Alex," she breathed out. She felt embarrassed by her reaction to something so simple as a kiss on the cheek. "I… I'm so …" Thea struggled to finish a sentence, struggling to get enough air into her lungs and to put together words.

"Can I get you something?" Alex asked cautiously, not daring to approach closer. "I can get water, or a chair. I can get your brother?"

"No," Thea gasped out quickly, ensuring that Alex didn't leave to fetch Ollie. "No," she said more evenly. "I just," she gasped more air in, "a moment. I'm fine, really."

"Okay," Alex said slowly, doubt dripping from his words. "Thea, I'm so sorry. I should have known better than to sneak up on you."

Thea shook her head quickly to reject Alex's apology. "You have nothing to apologize for. You weren't sneaking, I was just … preoccupied."

Alex nodded sympathetically. "Does it have anything to do with why you're not speaking with Oliver at the moment?"

Thea felt herself blush a little. Of course Alex had realized that her sending him to provide all updates to Ollie was abnormal. He was sweet: he wasn't stupid. "Um, I don't know. Maybe. Look, Ollie and I just had a disagreement and we need a moment to reset. It won't impact the campaign." Thea took a quick breath in and said with conviction, "I am still completely committed to this cause."

Alex nodded, still appearing unconvinced. "I guess I'm glad to hear that as someone working on this campaign. But honestly, I think I'm more worried about you and your brother being at odds. You guys are just so close, and I know you are all the family each other has."

Thea shot Alex what she hoped was a warm, confident smile. "I appreciate that, and we will figure it out." Thea took a few sure steps up to Alex. "I do really appreciate you always looking after me." Thea lifted a hand to his face and tilted him into her mouth, drawing him into a gentle, hungry kiss.

When they pulled away, Alex grinned. "You got me," he said. "I will let you work things out with Oliver in your own time."

Thea nodded with her own flirtatious smile. "Thank you," she said primly.

"Can I make dinner for you at my place tonight?"

"Yes, please," Thea practically purred out.

Five hours later, Thea found herself in Alex's apartment which was filled with the scent of something warm and doused in spices. Thea's stomach grumbled. She called out, not for the first time, "Are you sure you couldn't use some help? I am a terrific sous chef!"

Alex's amused voice piped up from the kitchen. "I've got it! Tonight, I'm pampering you."

"Hmm, pampered. With-" Thea sniffed the air. "Chicken? Some kind of sauteed something?"

"Stop guessing! It'll ruin my surprise!"

Thea grinned and made her way to perch on the couch. Alex's voice called out, "Don't get too comfortable there. Dinner is up in five!"

Thea gave an amused eye roll and made her way to the table with pre-lit candles and a lovely hydrangea bloom perched in what looked like a scotch glass. Thea poked it and leaned over to take a sniff of the blossoms.

"Here we are!" Alex declared wielding a pan in a potholder covered hand. In minutes both plates had a chicken breast, red skinned mashed potatoes, and sauteed green beans.

Thea took her first bite of chicken and groaned, "Oh god, this is good!" Thea took a moment to chew and swallow and then declared, "Boyfriend that cooks: check!"

Alex's face lit up with a wide smile, clearly enjoying her accolades. Conversation remained light as they ate, Thea ooing and ahing over the meal and Alex clearly pleased with his success but doing his best to humbly deflect Thea's praise. As Alex stood preparing to clear the table, Thea reached out a gentle hand and caught Alex's arm.

"Hey, real quick," Thea said, a little anxiety bleeding into her voice. Alex seemed to notice the serious tone and resumed his seat across from her, remaining connected to Thea's hand.

"I just want to be clear now," Thea said softly. "My count is up, so we can't … go all the way tonight, okay?"

Alex cocked his head concerned. "Are you okay? I thought that when things were going well, your count could stay undetectable indefinitely."

Thea had trouble meeting his eyes. "Yeah, no, I'm okay. It's likely just a blip. It's not uncommon." Alex's gaze was still worried, his brow furrowed. He didn't seem convinced by Thea's words. "Really. It's not even that high, I just … I want to be safe, you know?"

"Thea…" Alex drew out her name in concern.

Thea met his worried gaze and squeezed his hand. "Please, don't worry. I'm okay, I swear."

Alex's gaze never wavered, and he asked somberly, "Is this why Laurel was so concerned about having people with you? You're getting sicker?"

"No!" Thea said emphatically, fear rising quickly in her stomach at the idea that Alex could accidentally reveal something to Laurel … or god forbid, Oliver. "PLEASE don't say anything to Laurel. Or anyone."

Alex looked a little taken aback. It clearly hadn't occurred to him that Thea's roommate didn't know and Thea was concerned that Alex would start to dig into why. Intent on distracting Alex from the dangerous truth he was teetering close to, Thea quickly added, "I want to be with you – there's a lot we can still do." She leaned forward and kissed where their hands were connected and drew him towards her. When he reached her, she initiated a gentle kiss. After only a few seconds Alex pulled back and said softly, "I'm not trying to push, but I have condoms and I'm on PREP. I'm not worried, Thea. We're doing everything we can to be safe."

"I … I know, Alex. Just … not tonight, okay? I would feel a lot better when I get my next counts back."

Alex nodded and Thea cut off his ability to think with another kiss. Alex drew her out of her seat and then tugged her up into his arms as Thea giggled. Thea murmured, "Bedroom." Alex grinned and whisked Thea away from the table down the hall.

"Thea?" Laurel called out, hearing the apartment door slam. Laurel thought Thea had planned to spend the night at Alex's. Concern pooled in her stomach and she hopped up off her bed which was covered in work briefs. "Hey Thea, is that you?" Laurel tried again as she made her way down the hall.

Laurel looked around to find the entry empty, but the light on. Laurel noticed that Thea's previously open bedroom door was now firmly shut. "Thea?" Laurel called nervously, making her way to the bedroom door. As she got closer, she could hear the sound of quiet sobbing behind the door. Laurel's stomach sank more.

"Thea, honey," Laurel called out in conjunction with a few gentle knocks on the door. The sobbing stilled for a moment. Then Thea's voice called out brokenly, "Please, go away!"

Laurel steeled herself to enter and called out, "Thea, I'm coming in!" She opened the door a crack to find Thea lying on her bed facing away from the door. Now with a clear sightline, Laurel said in a voice not far above a whisper, "Thea. Honey, what happened?"

"Please Laurel, I'm okay. I just don't want to talk right now. Okay? Please?"

The pleading got to Laurel and she was reassured that Thea didn't appear hurt or in any physical distress. She said after a moment. "Okay. But Thea, if you need me, please come get me, okay? And I will be back to check on you."

Alex finished explaining the plan for the mayoral campaign for the day including the updates on relevant local concerns and news. Oliver calmly thanked Alex and Alex turned around, preparing to leave. Oliver turned back to his desk, ready to tackle his email when he sensed that Alex had paused in the doorway.

"Sir?" Alex asked clearly, voice sure while his expression showed he was concerned. "I wondered if I could speak with you about … about Thea." Oliver immediately felt his defenses rise, not ready to talk to anyone, including Alex, about the wide silence between Oliver and Thea.

Oliver decided the best course of action was to play dumb. "Hmm? Is there something wrong with her work?" As if it wasn't clear to Thea's boyfriend that she and Oliver were having a problem.

"No," Alex denied quickly. "I'm sure you're aware that Thea's work is always outstanding. She's always thinking of new ways to identify with each of your target demographics and she has a way of connecting with all of your constituents whether they're from the 70th floor or from the Glades."

Oliver nodded knowing that was true.

"No, I … forgive me if it's none of my business, but I know that you two aren't speaking right now." Oliver shot what he hoped was an intimidating look in an attempt to stop Alex's prying in its tracks. But no such luck. "Look, I think … no, I know that something is going on with her. I'm worried. She's pulling away, from you, from me." Alex paused, brow furrowed, before saying hesitantly, "Honestly, I don't want to seem inappropriate by making our work relationship personal, but I think Thea is on the verge of breaking up with me."

"What happened?" Oliver demanded, voice taking on a chilled edge.

Alex stood his ground, not taking Oliver's bluster to heart. "That's just it – nothing, not between her and I, anyway. I think she's fighting with her own demons. And I would love to be her support through that fight, but I don't think she's going to let me." Alex looked Oliver firmly, his warm eyes sincere and concerned. "But … you are her brother, and I… I think she really needs you. I don't know what happened between you, but if I can't … I hope you can be there for her."

Under Alex's gaze, Oliver felt his former bravado vanish, leaving him weary. He leaned back and rubbed his face with his hands. Clearly things were going sideways enough with Thea that it was impacting her relationships and Oliver couldn't help but feel responsible. He released a deep breath, worry filling his mind.

After a long moment, Oliver stood up and grasped Alex's hand. "You're a good man, Alex. I'm grateful to have you on this team. And looking out for Thea." Alex knew a dismissal when he heard one, nodded respectfully, and vacated Oliver's office. Oliver sat in silence. How was he supposed to be present for someone who didn't want him there?